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ephemeraltaxidermy Archive

View 0 posts and 64 comments by ephemeraltaxidermy on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Last chance at mediation and she agreed to 50/50 Fuck yes bro! Nothing else matters, you stayed the course and prevailed. Nobody can take this away from you. Whatever happens in the future, you fought, you did your best, you have proof. You can't control her and you can't control CPS or courts or how kids turn out, but worst case scenario when they are 26 and have fully developed brains they'll have proof that they had a father that did everything possible to be in their life, and that will be i…
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 03:33 AM
1

Google divorce 180 or divorce busters, do that list, not for her, but for you. Maybe it'll turn around, maybe not, but at least you'll have have a head start on the mental and physical when/if shit hits the fan.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 02:20 AM
1

You would love to, anything for your child, but not until you have your custody and property settlement signed so you're both free to concentrate on the child instead of it just being a witnessed venue for grievances to be aired, the relationship is over, no history, no future, just your kid's issue in the present. Surely she's as ready to sign as you are right? Anyway, I don't know a child therapist/councilor in their right mind that wants to get called in to testify on your petty bullshit so t…
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 03:03 PM
1

Our therapist went as close as they could to saying, "this woman is going to hurt you" without violating their ethics or whatever. For my part I remember responding "well, I guess I don't have a very strong self-preservation instinct." And that is the case for soooo many men I see here....we knew, we fucking KNEW, but we just didn't have the self preservation instincts to pull the cord when we should have...when the honeymoon was over, when the trauma first showed up, when they screamed at us th…
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 12:56 AM
2

I remember telling our relationship counselor, "of course divorce would be easier, having the kids only 50% the time and getting to fuck around the other 50%...but that isn't what I want, I want them 100%." A lot of people, men and women, look at that math and take the easy way out.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 11:18 PM
1

I watched a "gotcha journalism" episode on the streets of Tokyo, and all the wives said it wasn't cheating if the men paid for it and took care of their responsibilities at home. 2020 American women would never, so American men are never going to have that again.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 11:15 PM
1

Tomorrow is the anniversary of when she tried to stage a sexual assault then called the cops to try and get me arrested. Friday is the anniversary of discovering her affair and her officially leaving. That's some personality disorder shit bro. I've read hundreds of court cases and the vast majority of people just break up, split their shit, and settle for 50/50. We're here because we have our own shit that made us ignore all those red flags, or even saw them as green because it meant we had some…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 06:18 PM
–

In general you would be very wrong, but I cede to your expertise.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/23 09:42 PM
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Look yourself up in the Florida court system, it will show the lawsuit. Case number should also be on the complaint you were served with. If it truly is some bullshit then you're free to just show up in court yourself with the evidence. Nobody is getting custody of two teenagers who don't want to go, so it has to just be based on a technicality of the settlement or something. Couple hundred dollars and your friendly home town lawyer will file a dismissal. If she truly has been filing frivolous s…
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/23 09:30 PM
1

after 2 years I walked away. I wish I would do it earlier. I loved her but I am happier now then I was ever before. This you? If ya'll don't have kids then fucking call it brother.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/23 03:41 PM
1

My understanding is that in family court nobody goes after medical records and therapy notes, and even phone records only very rarely, because it is expensive and there is the idea that it opens pandora's box for the opposition too. The exception is an attorney ad litem for the children. Nothing is off limits to them and if they want it you better consent, and consent is the magic word. Likely don't even need parent's consent for the children's therapy notes...because the attorney ad litem is li…
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/23 03:17 PM
1

How they sleep at the 70% house is how they'll sleep at the 30% house, you can accept it now or after a lot of needless suffering.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 10:33 PM
1

Not saying this is the case, but an example of a reason that has nothing to do with you... Say you and your ex have 50/50, but mom goes back to work, picks up a shift, gets depressed and stays in her room more, starts spending more time with a dude, whatever....you still have the same 50% you've always had...but your daughter intensely feels that lost percentage of time with her mom. And so yeah, her kid-brain knows she sees you the same, but mom less, and it can be a sort of resentment, or at l…
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 10:13 PM
1

If she doesn't timely repay the loan it is a withdrawal and your married ass is on the hook for the 10% penalty and taxes if you still file joint. I would say if she withholds 20-30% you should be okay but you're not going to be on the phone with Fidelity and she's gonna want the whole 10K in her hand not just 7.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 11:16 PM
1

Be married to the woman when they are born A judge signs an order acknowledging you are the father. I'm going to let you rethink quoting stats for the first category while discussing stats for the second category and then get back to me. Step one should probably be searching for paternity cases, not divorce cases, since, as you noticed, being married largely precluded the issue of paternity. My state makes this super easy, simply search for case type "paternity," then you'll quickly notice most …
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 09:38 PM
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RE: Kids: this is blatantly false. A father has zero (0) legal custody of a child born to an unwed mother. Even if you are in the room when they are born, even if your name is on the birth certificate. Ideally everyone could go their whole life on presumed custody, but when shit hits the fan there are only two ways to be the actual legal father of a child: Be married to the woman when they are born A judge signs an order acknowledging you are the father. There are three ways to get a judge to si…
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 07:06 PM
1

Nursing is the #1 cheating profession. Housebroke men should avoid them for real.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 01:50 AM
1

Please call T.A.P.S. and be sure you're getting all the resources available to you: 800-959-TAPS
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 01:41 AM
1

My ideal wife and I could be locked in a room with the internet, food, and infinite condoms indefinitely. I did not have the ideal wife...
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 01:33 AM
1

Was it worth it? Was what worth it? Losing 9 years of our child's life? When children are "baggage" and "emotional labor" and shit then they didn't lose parenting time, they gained freedom. And they didn't lose it, they are the rightful owners, afterall...if you end up with any it is because you stole it from them.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 01:24 AM
1

The ego boost from a woman that hasn't checked out already experiencing all your initiation and foreplay skills honed over thousands of times with your ex is something else, highly recommend.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 06:50 PM
1

rebuild a foundation Can't build a foundation on sand bro, sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 09:47 PM
1

Can’t file for divorce in Canada for until a year after being separated. America's progressive hat indeed...
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 05:31 PM
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I didn't see the word "lawyer" in there anywhere....
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 05:17 PM
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In her mind the bad obviously outweighed the good Nawh, just recently, and that's all that counts sadly. Likely due to you growing a pair and setting a boundary, or falling on hard times, or your credit cards getting maxed out, or some dude at the grocery store hitting on her, your kid is old enough to be parentified into providing emotional support, or she's hit some magic number in her 30s and needs to be "independent" and shit, or you were together young and she wants to sample more dick befo…
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 05:05 PM
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Self blame Hey bro, doesn't that feel like shit? I know it does, that's why your soon-to-be-ex-wife has made herself mentally impervious to it. She's got a life to live and blaming herself for shit that she can blame on you instead just gets in the way. Fuck her forgiveness, you're not getting it. The only forgiveness that matters is you forgiving yourself. Part of you knows that is more difficult, that if she would forgive you then it would be easier; but pretend it isn't going to come, because…
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 04:35 PM
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i can't do 50/50 with 40hr a week schedule This isn't defeatism, this is post hoc rationalization We are one day into it now, and already i can tell its bothering the kids Hey, guys! This dude's kids are fucked up on Day One of their new living arrangement during their parent's separation, can you believe it?
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 09:03 PM
2

Could also be a shared computer...ex snooped her daughter's messages to/from dad and then blocked him "for her."
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 08:55 PM
1

I've been here a couple weeks, but let me give you a take: As it concerns the kids, most of us sad mother fuckers should thank fucking god our wives left us. We're not here because we were well-adjusted men with fully functioning healthy spouses. We're usually not here because we and our spouse mutually and amicably decided to end our relationship and justly divide our property and custody and parenting time like healthy people. You think every man in America needs to read No More Mr. Nice Guy? …
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 08:47 PM
1

Axiom: Questioning if you are a narcissist ipso facto means you are not a narcissist. Corollary: Being able to acknowledge your faults in a failed relationship within a month of separation ipso facto means the failed relationship isn't entirely your fault. QED bitches
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 08:23 PM
2

I presumed the guy doesn't have 50/50, so I'd want to know more about my kids' lives than 4 days a month if I were him.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 10:01 PM
2

Lawyers are expensive, they also do discovery, and subpoena phone records, and record depositions, and question witnesses, and file motions..... In mediation she can just sit around a table and bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 11:51 PM
3

Yes you want to file first so any assault/DV shit will look suspicious as hell. But you also might need time to accumulate evidence to secure custody. Go back however many months and document all the times she's left you with the kids, all her episodes, anything that can be used to prove that you deserve to have joint custody and 50/50 or even primary with all the bipolar and orgy shit. She might want to run off without the kids from the sound of it, but she won't want to pay child support and m…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 11:23 PM
2

There's some sitcom where the wife is always threatening divorce and the husband just shrugs it off with either an eye-roll like "yes dear....ok dear...I'll get on it right after I change this lightbulb and take my evening walk," or by being amused with a wink and something like "if you divorce me who's gonna knock the bottom out of that like I do?" or "Divorce? Now? But we just got used to each other's farts?" I think in some cases the writers could be on to something.... But yeah, even if I wa…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 09:22 PM
2

If you want a divorce then take some of this time she's giving you to prepare for your future without her. If you don't want a divorce then ignore all her uncertain bullshit, literally pretend she never said it, and continue to be the best man you can be without acting like a wounded insecure puppy around her or the house. BOTH OF THESE SCENARIOS ARE THE SAME PLAN! This is known in support circles as: Your 'go' plan should be the same as your 'stay' plan. If they are not the same then why not? W…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 08:12 PM
4

Intimacy and companionship are basic human necessities, whether or not you need a courthouse to issue you a piece of paper to legitimize the arrangement by which you exchange intimacy and companionship with a woman is a different question. I get kind of lonely sometimes Welcome to humanity, a spouse isn't the answer and trying to fill that hole with one or "check that box" will guarantee misery for everyone involved. Ideally a spouse is complementary, but that isn't the same as filling a hole. "…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 06:52 PM
2

Ozempic or Mounjaro bro, every woman with a BMI over 24 is on that shit and you can be too, if you don't have the money for that then metformin is basically free. Once you melt a little off then it is a ton easier to be more active and motivate yourself to get the rest gone.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 05:20 PM
1

You're not divorced bro, you're single. Took me about 10 times of using my tinder matches and first dates like therapy sessions to stop pulling that divorced-mentality bullshit. Sounds like your culture/families threw you together, ya'll barely knew each other, didn't really come to know each other, and she was never really a willing participant or quickly became an unwilling participant. In a prior post your biggest concern was "sexual frustration," and now this post is too much about your moth…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 05:16 PM
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How were you a happily married woman 22 days ago? Anyway, if you were happy before ya'll met then you'll be happy again. If you were a sad sack before who hoped a wedding would make you happy then now you're still sad, but disillusioned and angry on top of it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 04:50 PM
1

I’m having a hard time seeing a happy future for myself. If you've really been with a closeted lesbian (or at least a woman so repulsed by your self/body/dick that a vagina is a welcome change) for 11 years then you are in for a world of amazement once you find a woman that appreciates the male body and loves cock. I wasn't "that kind of guy" so I always ended up with the women I thought I deserved....the ones with issues that make sex and intimacy difficult. A healthy woman who likes/loves you:…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 02:00 PM
1

u/NohoTwoPointOh and u/justmy2cents11 , I'm responding up here because this is too important to get buried. Ya'll got this fucked up. I've only been here a couple weeks, but I can tell you that the evidence, posted all day every day in this sub, proves that ya'll got it twisted. The ratio of "family of the year broken up by selfishness" to "toxic environments that SOMEBODY needed to have the guts to leave" is not what one would expect based on your statements. The ratio of "I'm killing this dad …
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 01:13 PM
12

Sorry, this is gonna hurt, but, pray that your ex and her new man can model a loving intimate long-term relationship (likely?) better than you and she did. Kids need to see that so they turn out well-adjusted. And be grateful that your kids now have a bonus adult to take care of them and spend money on them. Be grateful they get to stay in the house they grew up in. In a couple years they'll have a cell phone and then you and them will have a literal 24/7/365 neuro-link between each other's brai…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 02:42 AM
4

If there wasn’t another person involved...a feeling of betrayal Be thankful something is pulling her away! You know your autistic ass would tolerate her "mental/physical abuse" forever. This is a boon, a kindness. Honestly many dudes here would have been better off with some adultery so they can get over their ex and move on with their lives instead of wondering "what if..." Neither of you had the guts, so she's taking the coward's way out, but at least she's doing you the favor of finally cutti…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 12:28 AM
3

Have any of you ever realized that....living separate lives is the best way to move forward? If someone isn't a good partner and you don't derive joy or fulfillment from the relationship then it is the ONLY way to move forward.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 09:26 PM
7

Time, therapy, a good support system. ASD will either make it easier or more difficult. For me, once I know somebody isn't "my people" anymore they might as well be a stranger. Kids are a different story but you didn't mention any so find one of those "$800 Divorce" lawyers, sit around together and divide your shit, and move on with your life. I’m really struggling to not think about here being with someone else. "She was never yours, it was just your turn"...cliché but it is all I have, this to…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 08:49 PM
1

I think 60/40 is still often considered 50/50 since that is as clean as you can split up a single week, your state might have a set number of overnights, like 130, 150 etc...to be considered 50/50. What dads don't get during school they often make up over the summer. There is no reason you can't arrange to have custody during your 4-5 days off, which you claim is 50% of your time. Unless she argues against it of course. So that's the case. Convincing a judge that it is in their best interest for…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 08:40 PM
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All the mediators try to get me to give her majority custody due to the child's age (just turned 5) and argument that these are critical 'impressionable years for child to be with the mother. This is called the "tinder years doctrine" you can google it as it applies to your state. In many states it has not had actual legal standing in years and potentially even prohibited from consideration....but the old guard is slow to change, which is what the lawyers mean by it depends on the judge. General…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 08:25 PM
2

This is the reason women have historically been the default caregiver and custody winners during divorce...a woman rarely gets to contemplate this decision, the kids have to live and she has to be the one to enable it. Not shaming you, just the way it is. Get the $80K if you can, why lock in child support at $120K if you're not guaranteed to make that year over year. Lock in the 50/50 on paper Come back then and talk about moving for jobs and shit. Not like USAJOBS isn't gonna have the same damn…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 08:04 PM
1

In most jurisdictions, if they've lived in a place for 6 months to a year then a lawyer and judge will keep them there since it is usually considered in their best interests to not uproot them barring extenuating circumstances. You need to file ASAP though before they move. A temporary restraining order can be in effect as soon as tomorrow and will lock in the current jurisdiction until the end of the proceedings (6 months? A year? Two years?) and it can be argued that it should remain the juris…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 07:43 PM
1

On the contrary think how many men (and women) would just have to be miserable forever if their spouse couldn't leave them no-fault. If someone wants to leave, help them pack for fuck sakes.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 05:43 PM
1

I have started to think what I want my life to be like if the Divorce goes through....The world is my oyster but know the transition will take some time I would not dare say I'd "traveled the world" unless I knew just the perfect bar/pub/winery/balcony/ledge/park bench/holy place to have some of those thoughts at, and it probably wouldn't be in my home town...it might be crystal clear to you, or it might be foggy and you have to think for a second...but there is somewhere you told yourself... Th…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 05:13 PM
4

You sound like a boiled frog my dude. You can stick around until you are boiled down to nothing, or you can hop out, there might be frying pans and fires, but odds are you'll end up better than boiled alive.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 04:47 PM
4

Yes, but I would expect a world traveler to have internalized an openness, a gregariousness, a willingness, a desire, a je ne sais quoi, a wanderlust that might lead one to consider this an opportunity for a new adventure and new experiences; the knowledge that love could be at, or just beyond, the gate of any airport. Something I had to learn: A spouse/gf/partner is not the special love-of-your-life just because you shared all these good times and amazing experiences together. Like, who doesn't…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 04:35 PM
2

My sadness comes from looking forward. I can't imagine a "world traveler" saying this under any circumstances...
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 03:56 PM
5

If you want both of you to remember those 20 years together fondly then you need to sit down and end it consensually and amicably before you hate each other and recontextualize the entire thing as one big mistake. If you're both okay counting those years as wasted and ready to forget them then by all means struggle until the bitter end. my 2 cents P.S. 4 years is nearly the last 5th of your relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 03:45 PM
2

Someone "in love" will sneak out of the house, climb through a window, and fuck somebody on a cum-stained mattress on the floor of a trap house and think it was the hottest thing they've ever done. Someone not "in love" will curse you out for how you load the dishwasher or for getting stuck in traffic and keep in mind a list of transgressions a mile long. Tons of people, men and women, know when a relationship has reached its expiration date and act on it, but the dudes that needed to read No Mo…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 03:23 PM
1

So 10 and 15 now, few more years and you get to define your relationship with them for the rest of your lives. Nobody can control how their kids turn out. They could mirror their mother, stepdad, you, or their favorite minecraft youtuber or some tiktoker, you never know. Honestly they don't need to 100% mirror you, they don't need to internalize that their mother's relationship is immoral/unethical or ruined your life and their childhood....and then grow up to be the dudes like you and me... fam…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 09:48 PM
1

does this woman want me to be happy? One of the larger indicators of marital happiness is being a happy person before the marriage. Two people who were happy before getting married have a good shot.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 09:21 PM
1

Marriage grants the presumption of joint custody and 50/50 parenting time, legal paternity, and legal access to the children, you get no such luxury if your live-in co-parent is a "single mom" on paper. You have no rights until a judge grants them to you, which takes money and time. The man's name on the birth certificate is just presumed to be the father, not legally is the father.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 09:17 PM
1

Pull out the old family portraits or find some old photos and get them printed out. Hang them all over your house. You were a family for 5 years, and at least you still want to coparent. You can passively make it apparent to anyone with eyes that you and your daughter's mom were in love, felt safe around each other, did things as a family, that you were involved, that you were there when she was born, that you and her mom sang her happy birthday, together, 5 times in fact. The next time she take…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 04:43 PM
1

This is just one wave of grief among many more to come, she may not be fair with finances, she may not be fair with custody and parenting time, she may use the police or justice system against you, she may turn the kids against you, she is almost 100% likely just "low-libido-for-you" due to the nature of mating in captivity and she will be back in the saddle while you're still trauma-dumping to friends and family. Wave upon wave the waves will keep coming, but if you decide to persevere then you…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 04:25 PM
1

We are still in love but her sexual preference has changed. She came to realize that she wasn't living the life that she felt for many years. She was afraid. Afraid of what her family would think, and definitely afraid of what I would think. She's already dating so it's definitely over. Hypersexuality is my worst enemy. I was raped pre teen and since then anytime I get abandoned I go full on screwing any woman I can and I don't care what they look like. I just need to fill the pain of being reje…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 04:07 PM
1

Some huge percentage of meth users are unknowingly self-medicating for ADD/ADHA, for which the medicine for it quite literally a low-dose meth approximation. You'd have to get clean and stay clean to get diagnosed and keep a script though. But you're smart enough to know that. A recreational (well, self-medicating instead of getting an SSRI) shroom/mdma user, addicted to meth, missing out on his son's life, being as fucking smart as I can tell you fucking are from a page or two of your history i…
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 05:24 PM
2

99% sure you're dealing with a prolific but unaddressed side effect of ADD/ADHD....Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, google it, then hit "images" for the tldr infographics. A) Many women made it through school without getting diagnosed with attention disorders because they're too busy trying to get boys to sit still for 8 hours a day. B) RSD is just now being recognized as nearly 100% comorbid with attention disorders to some extent. Haven't seen it talked about much on this sub but an attention di…
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 03:07 PM
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