TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

esoldelulu Archive

View 0 posts and 81 comments by esoldelulu on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
7

Yeah I was disappointed she did it. I kinda sensed when some paparazzi pics of her came out and she was in workout clothes and there were flurries of comments praising and mocking her body for being “realistic” that it might not rub a teen with body image issues the right way. At that age, I wanted to feel pretty and was on the fence if being pretty also meant I had to look desirable as well. But desirable to whom? I didn’t even understand what sex actually looked like until I was 20. So before …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 05:00 PM
10

Okay. 💀💀💀 I’m officially asexual as of today. No way I’d ever risk getting coochie gangrene becuz some scrote can’t wash himself properly. I wouldn’t even let a person like that use my bathroom. Or sit on my couch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 04:02 PM
20

I was in your position and quite honestly I lived through the trial and error. I acknowledge that the biggest mistake I made was assuming men would be “better” just by living in a different culture or being a different ethnicity from my own, since that alone will not elevate a person. And viewing my upbringing as something to be seen as beneath these men by default was a sure fire way to open myself up to being taken advantage of no matter how many protections I gathered around me. Things got si…
/r/askFDS05/05/21 04:55 PM
16

This is so asinine, I can smell the bullshit from here. I dated one man a long time ago and 6-7 years later he shows up working in a different department at my work. We were both the same age, but the only thing that changed about me was my hairstyle. Meanwhile, he’s all paler and puffy and had grey on the scruff of beard that begun to show. I actually didn’t recognize him at first, only when I saw his name under the employee directory did I remember him. And I certainly don’t recognize the boys…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 05:58 PM
65

There is no age or generation cut off. Not even culturally. If you are alive and have access to a smartphone and WIFI, you have access to p0rn. Doesn't matter whether the man started at 8 or 65 years of age. Once he starts, the consumption of it is readily there and in endless, increasingly depraved supply.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 08:01 AM
64

Doesn’t affect me either. Sure I’m excited to go to the beach, been planning road trips for the summer, reorganizing my wardrobe for summer. But no plans to meet a man. I just don’t find that exciting or even fun anymore. Plus for long term future goals ... I wanna upgrade my house. So I don’t see how a relationship would help that. If anything, it’d impede my dream to have that nice and cozy staycation type resort home. And I think the rest of the year and the next will be about me catching up …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 10:21 PM
12

Bad news. I grew up with a father figure in the house like this. I never knew what side of the bed he’d wake up on, whether he’d be in his funny guy mood or in his slam doors, punch walls mood. Anything would set him off. I wound up developing PTSD and having a very freeze/fawn response that doesn’t bode well around predatory personalities. These parents are going to make their kid a magnet for abusive types in her future. That poor kid’s gonna need therapy if he doesn’t stop.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 07:13 PM
36

I’m not even gonna read it. I might break out in hives. My ex’s were very particular with their personal hygiene. They looked and smelled yummy good. It was adorable and hot. I would love my partner to be able to do spa days with me and wear face masks. — BLERGH I read some of the comments, my eyes burn. 🤮 Whhhhhhyyyyyy do some women put up with rancid, crusty, meth mouth scrotes? It’s the same as taking a brick and smashing it on your face. The same as licking a PETRI DISH. Why? Whyyyy? Whhhhyy…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 05:46 PM
31

Absolutely. I only dabbled ONCE in high school with a bf that barely lasted a week - love them fickle teenage hormones. Save for that 1 week or so, I didn’t entertain a romantic relationship throughout high school and college. Instead, I got into writing, was chief editor for the campus newspapers thru both. I wrote a book of poems and started several novellas just for fun. I had a mixed group of friends and got to know young men on a platonic and very human level. I feel like that decision help…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 08:17 PM
7

Does she know how to receive? I think a lot of us women were ingrained to be givers, and that was giving things beyond the material. Giving our attention, time, nurturing. But are we good at receiving? I used to have to catch myself whenever I was complimented, I would act indifferent or devalue it in my mind. I was actually devaluing positive feedback directed to me aka devaluing seeing myself in a positive light. It has to start somewhere ... to be able to comfortably receive from others. Espe…
/r/askFDS28/04/21 06:33 PM
8

This makes my blood boil lol But it’s so true. Why do these losers want a relationship with us when they despise our AUDACITY to want emotional care in said relationship? Just keep fucking your hand, scrotes. Then slap yourselves in the face with it. Make sure to video it and post on OF since it’s so emPowErIng too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 06:01 PM
13

Exactly. I tried to CoMmUnIcATe with this man child with empathy, understanding, patience. My request? That he informs people that he meets online that he has a GF and that’s me. Seems sensible, right? I’m not telling him to stop talking to people, to stop meeting folks online. Just let them know so that when the person turns out to be a woman, we don’t get awkward. I dunno what I was thinking. Prolly just trying to be open-minded and utilize that eTerNaL TruSt he barely worked at earning. Oh an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 05:48 PM
91

Nah, hard pass. Don’t trust a man who will throw you under the bus to look cool in front of his bros or for “comedic value.” No such thing as a soft throw or a slight push aka “jokes” becuz essentially he’s still placing you under the bus. Which is: Trampling on your image/esteem/worth for the boosting of his.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 04:17 PM
1

I second putting out feelers for journalists who can expose this piece of shit. Also if he’s got authority then there’s also people who would want to strip that authority away from him. Find his political rivals. Go to them with your story, it could prove useful especially if there’s an election coming up. Utilize social media and possibly arrange exposing him there using throwaway accounts that aren’t tied to you. The goal is to gain enough interest to have another party begin watching him clos…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 08:49 PM
14

Thank you for reiterating that. LVM ex did the same and would just casually mention how he talked about me and my emotional outbreaks with his friends. I thought it was invasive and prolly only half the story, and he likely embellished like he did with other past gfs. I used to be the type to keep my silence after a breakup and let bygones be bygones. But now, nope. We need to speak up and tell our stories so that other women can be aware and look out for this bullshit. If I can help one sis wal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 03:07 PM
32

I feel this way when talking/texting with men too. They start off strong but fade within 3 to 4 months. And that points towards a misalignment with the professions of love, loyalty but the actions are either lazy, manipulative, or abusive. But goddamn are they consistent in their flakiness. But once they sense you’ll promptly respond to their texts, they start fading away or have the audacity to fish around while still stringing you along. They objectify us while we tried to genuinely emotionall…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 06:41 AM
29

Even not having a boyfriend and not settling to be a forever girlfriend is frowned upon. I was vacillating on how to view the paths my relatives have chosen, trying to reconcile their place in life and mine. But I have to admit ... majority of the women in my family are tradwifey’s / pickme’s and they have made some communal agreement amongst themselves to isolate me as that so-called spinster who can never keep a boyfriend nor have kids. Meanwhile, since I was 5 years old, I’ve always questione…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 05:52 PM
8

Yup, he used to talk about how abusive she was and how he was trying to get her help as if she was having some psychotic break. What was really telling is how he always snuck her into our conversations, doing a mocking impression of her and repeating things she used to allegedly say. He even said he hadn’t quite gotten a good impression of me yet. Now I don’t wonder if his impression of me would have been equally mocking. I also am skeptical of men who don’t tell the full story or only give you …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 05:46 PM
23

I have an aversion to OLD now because of this. Cuz when I used to chat with guys, their pic looked okay. Then they either send a more recent pic or I meet them in person and it’s like yikes what happened to you dude. And I noticed the ones who have some awareness of their limited looks still have an air of conceit about them. They speak passive aggressively like “oh females don’t find me attractive, just because I don’t have this look or that.” And they think they have this mysteriously attracti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 04:33 PM
57

Ugh so true. In high school, I was the tallest girl in my class BUT considering the country I was living in, where the average height of women is 4’10”, what the hell. My 5’6-7” (I feel like I’m shrinking and expanding simultaneously) is gargantuan there but in the West that’s average. But becuz of that gargantuan perception, the girls would brag how small their waists were like 20” to 23” and even some stating it’s only 18” and I felt like a blimp having a 28” inch waist. I was practicing bulim…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 03:50 PM
19

What? An older woman, while we may not have the washboard abs we had back in high school, don’t have to scrape the bottom of the barrel either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 01:08 AM
17

They future fake as well. I wouldn’t be surprised if he strung her along by talking marriage or called her Wifey. It’s all just meaningless words so it’s very important to ignore the words no matter how nice the intention sounds and look at the actions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 08:12 PM
22

Yep, I met the last guy I dated over reading his sob story manifesto on social media. So much for having empathy for a woe is me she left me. So much flowery language. And at the end, I reread in between the lines and realized the same thing was being pulled on me. His claim of his ex cheating on him likely occurred when HE began flirting and gathering more narcissist supply for himself. He likely went as far as flaunting these flying pickme’s in her face like he did with me until I caught on. S…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 04:36 PM
5

I used to go to school in a country where the drivers would turn a two lane street into a 6-lane one, and traffic lights are “suggestions.” I learned to walk assertively and briskly and with a “don’t fuck with me” aura. I have stared down all these drivers, 100% men, and they always stop and give me room. I do this as well when working. I was in a building with only a few women, me being one of them. I wore my loud click heels and literally walked the corridors with a stalking, panther pace. The…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 01:01 AM
11

This is so true ... It took me several years to recuperate from trauma and I still actively work on self-maintenance for the cPTSD. I would say I suffered chronic suicidal ideation into my late 20s. Living life numbly, serial monogamy into my mid-30s. So my “bloom” happened mid-30s. And I do feel like I’m living my life now where I’m gathering experiences that I didn’t explore sooner in my “youth.” But had I experienced any of that stuff when I was younger, I don’t think I would have had the dep…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 05:40 PM
9

So much projection going on in that post. We’re not hung up on trying to date men. That implies we’re looking for them, prowling. Twisting ourselves to pretzels to ensnare one in between our malicious, witchy thighs. Nope. Men come to us like a moth to a flame, and we just don’t like most of them thus FDS is our upgrade to a bug zapper. And the audacity is they think we should lower our standards because they assume our standards are unrealistic. We’re not the audience captivated by p0urn that c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 09:59 PM
82

Men who like to throw around the joke that they’re “kinda” bi. But swear they’re straight. Then actually turn out to be narcissists and just crave attention and validation from anyone they can leech off of. It’s not a sexuality thing, it’s an entitlement to everyone’s space/energy thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 07:33 PM
70

Nah, if I was wealthy enough I’d pull a Bruce Wayne and train myself to be my own bodyguard. Plus, I think I’d look fab in a cape and a black suit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 06:35 PM
126

I don’t believe a man who claims he’s childfree if he hasn’t gotten a vasectomy. Met a guy who had a whole sob story of how “controlling” his ex was becuz she suggested he get a vasectomy. But she used an IUD which was extremely painful for her. You’d think by he way he described it that she forced him to get a vasectomy. And I’m all about “my body, my choice” so forcing someone to self-sterilize is a no no for me. But if a man doesn’t want to have children and his sterilization procedure is not…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 06:20 PM
7

Seriously. That worry is the withered ghost of their conscience’s past. Like when they get all chicken little when we say lying to coerce a women to have sex with them, giving false assurances and pseudo-agreeability with her boundaries only to cross them, is rape. They’re just so used to robbing us of our agency they just wanna keep the status quo because it lets them get away with their self-serving wretchedness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 06:20 PM
15

I don’t know if my aesthetic is a typical female gaze. But I do just dress based on what pleases my eyes, earning my appraisal. I’d describe my style as things falling within the spectrum of high glam, grunge witch meets martial yogi buddhist meets Mad Max in autumn meets SoCal skater chic. If I could make brass knuckles a legal fashion accessory, I would. I already use steel-toe boots for my excursions into crowded territory. But seriously ... I accessorize with self-defense in mind. The chain …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 06:10 PM
252

One of the valuable things my therapist pointed out to me is that determining the measure of a person happens when you observe them showing consistently good traits and behaviours over the length of time. We gotta breathe through the breadth and length of a budding relationship. It’s the most practical, common sense, way to discover how we relate to one another.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 05:48 PM
7

So true about agency. I had no agency to “consent.” I was locked in the room with this asswipe. I couldn’t just walk out the building. I said no to him reaching up my skirt but he ignored that. Getting pinned or pressed by his weight that I can’t move, how is that consenting to anything. I was fooled into thinking NO is the magic word that men will respect. They will never understand the fear and trauma already triggered when they push a woman to have to say NO from them crossing her boundary. T…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 05:44 PM
21

I like her and think she’s a good role model for her generation. She doesn’t doll up and flash her body to promote her music. She stands by her work and expects her craft to speak for itself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 07:46 AM
19

Ah the audacity. Grandpa went delulu. It’s the entitlement, definitely. The pedantic checklist they assume we all have and if they get 5 outta 10, 50% should be good enough. One of the criteria - and possibly the only criteria - on their checklists they have in their brain is: ✅she showed up. Apparently being physically within groping distance is all the invitation (and presumed consent) they need. Relying heavily on attaining things to satisfy base visuals but lacking the depth to understand th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 07:26 AM
52

I’m really afraid for my nieces and nephews. I don’t want p0rn to be what introduces them to sex. I’m praying their parents will be mature and considerate and VIGILANT about what they are exposed to. I hope they grow up without the influence of the violent debauchery and debasement shown in p0urn. I’m hoping and praying that they grow up knowing about love, respect, integrity, genuine intimacy. I just want to them grow up without being mentally and socially poisoned by this business. Cuz it is a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 03:44 AM
21

LOL yes, I read your post too. That along with this just reminded me that entitlement from that guy. It's crazy. Like they expect so much for showing up, never mind they show up with crap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 01:13 AM
160

Story time ... hehehe: Back in the day when I did OLD and was a bleeding heart for LVM/NVM, I responded to a guy who seemed so down on his luck and despairing how he couldn’t get a woman to see his value. For some reason, blame it on my low self-perception at the time and/or my oversensitive empathy to help people feel better about themselves (while forgetting I had to feel good about doing this without losing my own sense of worth). So we wound up chatting online, though I thought it strange he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 09:42 PM
25

Yep, same for me. One of my lengthier comments on FDS was flagged as hate speech cuz it was anti-pOurn. I think it’s just a bunch of anti-FDS lurkers reporting it. The more I read and learn ... I just feel sad about the state of dating and loving relationships as a whole. Like if this status quo wins, love is officially dead. Just resign to getting hate made to you in the bedroom, not love. The more men focus on dominance, entitlement and lack empathy, the more pathological social behaviours dev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 11:43 PM
31

Cancel Culture? WTF ... is this the new catchphrase for describing when a woman decides to walk away when she’s done with his bullshit? I don’t understand why this phrasing is used. It’s just sounds very awkward. Like OmG yOU CaNCeL CuLtuReD MeeH reeeE. Lol what? Obviously being cancelled is very triggering. Nothing more infuriating than to be denied one’s inflated sense of entitlement, yes?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 08:36 PM
70

Aside from the blatant triangulating tactic by mentioning how his ex’s did it, this boy is beyond messed up. He’s been re-enacting the depraved ped0p0rn he prolly stumbled upon on the internet. The mentioning of committing sexual assault at a young age ... I can’t ... like ... I’m prolly gonna have to talk to my therapist about it cuz I’m a grown ass woman and it’s triggering for me. I don’t get it. Whyyy is this girl still with him? I dumped boys when I was in high school for much, much, MUCH l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 02:28 AM
11

Pornland: How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality by Gail Dines. And if you’re into meditations and theories from a spiritual feminism perspective: Tara: The Liberating Power of the Female Buddha by Rachel Wooten, PhD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 11:35 PM
10

I also would recommend looking into Dialectical Behaviour Therapy for CPTSD. I use a workbook for it and I find it works better for me as in I absorb the exercises better because it’s not just me focusing on “positive thoughts” which isn’t always practical.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 11:26 PM
15

This comment just gave me a snorting chuckle. I dunno why but it’s devilishly trolly and I’m ascending from it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 10:53 PM
153

Yes, I was relieved when I read how she won the case. I honestly don’t understand his motives to desire having children with an ex. I can only think it was manipulative ploy to precisely as you called it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 10:30 PM
38

Neo-liberal feminism has become highly individualistic because of identity politics. It’s a farce as it only pushes the patriarchal hegemony and further blurs the existence of women and the feminist movement. These women who claim empowerment AND liberation are coming from a place of privilege. “I’m doing well (for being from a privileged class, status, race) so fuck the rest of the women.” They can’t claim both. Just admit it, they’re EmPoWeReD by benefitting off of the backs of other women, es…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 07:59 PM
97

See for every privileged sex worker who goes into this arrangement with eyes wide open, there’s ALWAYS, ALWAYS a hefty amount more of women and children who don’t ever have that luxury to choose. THEIR PRIVILEGED SEX WORKER EXPERIENCE IS NOT THE NORM. Especially for women and children that are from poorer countries. That’s pretty much HUNDREDS OF COUNTRIES. Think outside these damn bubbles for once. They see the benefit of it, “it works for me, I’m not getting hurt.” But the reality is, women an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 11:53 PM
15

Ever since discovering FDS, I’ve gotten this book and have also staged writings by Andrea Dworkin and Gail Dines on my list. I’m realizing I’m embracing radical feminism more and more. The thing that bothers me about the decry of “kiNkshAming” is that people need to wake up and realize they are more than their perversions. And that sex itself is not about indulging in one’s lewdest fantasies. It’s become performative and theatrical, one-sided, and the loss in true intimacy and emotional connecti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 05:52 PM
9

There’s something very wrong going on here, because her mothering instincts are there but suppressed by her fear of upsetting this man. I suspect she’s being abused in some way, maybe he’s the only one working and she has to avoid upsetting him so that she doesn’t lose a roof over her head. There’s just no way a mom’s concern for her baby’s safety could take a backseat to her spouse’s comfort if she felt comfortable and safe to assert this very common sense boundary. Since that’s not present, sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 04:26 PM
13

This is depressing. Precisely what I’ve seen in most of the arrangements in marriages. I’ve been written off as the family spinster since I just don’t invest my time in this bullshit. I don’t settle for a man just because he wants to have kids (I don’t want to have any) and he’s got a job (So what? He spends $1600 on rims for a PASSAT). Nor am I interested in going the route of having a boyfriend for 8-10 yrs before he pops the question ... after what ... helping him grow up for a near decade? I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 10:35 PM
24

Maybe the first time, I encountered a guy that would have a “sad” story of how he was unfairly judged by Marta McJudgey women I didn’t suspect anything. It’s the first I heard of it. But one after the other, it’s now a pattern. He’s either completely oblivious to his creepy cringe actions or he’s aware but just in complete denial. The moment a man gives the “I guess I was just too <insert mundane reason to make the woman look over reactive>, I dunno why else she ghosted me” song and dance, he’s …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 07:16 PM
6

“Thank you for always being there for me and trying to help me and giving me a chance. I’m sorry I never gave you the chance to help me because I never went to you when I needed it.” I quote this because I’m kinda betting that THIS text here is giving you them struggle love tingles. Always remember, you’re reading this but you didn’t write it. Why? Because as the reader, we tend to interpret key phrases as if WE wrote them. Like “always being there for me ... giving me a chance” that’s something…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 12:17 AM
142

I imagine they’re like monks but Catholic. I would totally be a lady monk practicing martial arts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 10:18 PM
16

Same! Being Asian too, that height is above average. I love rocking platforms and heels though. Standing upwards to 5’10.” My arms and legs are on the long slender side so I tend to look taller with heels. Back when I tried OLD, I stated that my height as 5’7” and the dude I was talking to claimed he was 5’9” but pushing close to 5’10.” I asked would me wearing heels be a problem, he said no. So when we met? He wasn’t pleased and acted like I catfished him. Asking if I’m really 5’7” since I coul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 10:15 PM
2

Before ... definitely yes. After the trauma of meeting a delusional, narcissistic liar who was also a date rapist, I would have night terrors and wake up screaming. If anyone has watched Silent Hill, I dreamt I was being chased by the Pyramid Head monster. It took me a while to accept I had been raped. I dunno if others have gone through that, but sometimes there’s just this denial or trying to self-soothe by making up rationale to not feel so debilitatingly horrible. Before that, I was haunted …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 08:09 PM
208

It’s really strange. I have the context of growing up in two different countries. I remember being a young adolescent, protesting against the push for women of my culture to marry before they graduate high school, and the mentality that our women have to go abroad to be strippers or domestic helpers in foreign countries. It was also common in my college years to have professors, politicians, rich men basically, take advantage of us students. Trigger Warning: One girl was abducted from campus, ga…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 09:26 PM
10

Pay attention to what they DO versus what they say. When they say that was not their intention, that’s unproven lip service. Because it was their questionable actions that prompted them to say that in the first place. The alignment to such intentions should show up in their actions and behaviour. And not just towards you but across the board. My ex claimed he was sensitive and emotionally available and bemoaned the selfishness of his ex and family to me. Talked a good game of being self accounta…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 08:41 PM
27

Yeah, I’m at the point in my life where I have no more tolerance towards men who are invalidating my perspective because they lack the ability to put themselves in my shoes. But the pressure is on me to give them ample consideration?! This place is for me to stay aware and stick to the strategy of not compromising my boundaries, and not forgiving bullshit antics anymore. My standards are driven by the hard work and dedication I poured into my life and into myself. I’m a grown ass woman, so why w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 05:12 AM
19

What he described is not harmless psychological fun. It’s sadism that is heavily creating the opportunity to commit truly violent behaviour. He’s baiting himself to go for the next step. And he was doing this to a child. This is monstrous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 07:37 AM
15

All great points and the biggest takeaway I got from that was she’s choosing to be single NOT BECAUSE of trauma or brokenness. Even though I have experienced trauma, the choice for me to be single is not motivated due to that trauma or any type of fear. I know what relationship-avoidance bred from fear and unhealthy self-perception looks like. I lived through that in my young adulthood. This is not it. This choice I make now is coming from a place rooted in my self-knowing. An honest assessment …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 06:06 PM
72

My mom gives me tons of advice, but I struggled with one early on: “When you date, date to your level or more.” I first kinda thought that was kinda snobby, but it’s actually appropriate ESPECIALLY when you really assess yourself without any internalized prejudice or self-criticism. If you have a healthy self-esteem and fully appreciate the things you achieved and earned in your life, you’ll appreciate potential partners who are on that level too. Hard work and honest work seen in yourself, in t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 07:37 PM
29

Can’t watch stuff like that much as I get flashbacks due to cPTSD. TW: I remember when I said no, pushed his hand away, turned my face away, my rapist just casually overpowered me and continued to grope and kiss me. Anytime I objected, he “affectionately” squeezed me harder or used his weight and gross face to muffle me silent. I always thought if ever pressed, I could knock a guy down if I had to. But when I realized how easily trapped I was and how much stronger he was WITH LITTLE EFFORT, it’s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 11:37 PM
8

The opposite of Cool Girl, for me, is a Self-Possessed Woman. Cool Girls go along with things even when they have misgivings about the things they’re pressured to do. A Self-Possessed Woman won’t allow herself to be coerced or pressured into something by not engaging with some people; removing herself from those situations entirely; and exercising her right to have boundaries, self-love/self-care, and to stand on the side of her knowing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 05:14 PM
76

Oh they definitely are manipulation and control tactics. It’s a covert way to signal to you that you shouldn’t be DrAmATiC or that lumps you in with the “other girls.” And you don’t want to be with the other girls, right? You want to be special cuz you so are. Yes, you are. Good girl. 🤢🤢🤢🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 03:41 PM
54

Some men just can’t recognize the good qualities in their partner because he doesn’t have those qualities himself. A cheater wouldn’t know what trustworthiness and loyalty look like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 05:44 PM
46

That’s what I picked up too. Pretty much advocating that emotional abuse is the way to go to keep a woman “in check.” Spoken like someone who’s never been in love or loved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 07:32 PM
4

Using “Simp” is incredibly degrading as the “MP” at the end means mediocre pussy. Using it frivolously to target a woman shows the quality of the men using it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 07:27 PM
31

I was raised by my grandparents and my mom. These adults weren’t the talkative nor showy type to make proclamations of love to each other nor towards their kids. But my grandparents doted on us grandkids and treated us with gentle love, mirth, kindness. The twinkles in their eyes made me feel like a star each time. We were fed, tucked in bed, and safe always. My mom is exactly the same and more. We rarely say “I love you.” And it doesn’t need to be said. Love is not merely a feeling; it is also …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 02:34 AM
48

God, this made me tear up. I have cPTSD myself and I hope, hope, hope she’s got supportive people around her and she’s getting the right therapy to help her thrive and live the healthy life she deserves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 07:54 PM
20

I learned I’m not by myself thinking women deserve to be treated with respect, and that’s it’s okay and a true sign of self respect to walk away from men who take more away from you than give. I can walk down solo the path in life and it’ll still be overflowing with flowers on that path. There’s support in this community. And I’m grateful to have found you. I learned that I don’t need to give a man too much credit just because he finds me attractive. I learned being tolerant to a man who ignores…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 07:44 PM
118

I just made a comment on another subreddit as a girl gamer got a random call and endured the man on the line to rage at her and use her as a verbal punching bag while he complained. We should be ending the interactions immediately and blocking them. But her rationale for keeping the conversation going was due to the fear of the man later on stalking her social media and harassing her further because she tried to set some boundaries. This is the culture conditioning that I have noticed and feel i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 07:58 PM
29

Yes ... Unconditional love and automatic trust. These give me allergies. I hate when I’m guilt-tripped about my hesitance to blindly trust a man on his word. Words are cheap. Words don’t SHOW a pattern. Following through with Actions do. And trust MUST be earned. How dare they think it’s unfair to make them work for our trust. I’m done sacrificing my intuition and self-respect just because someone’s ego will be bruised if I can’t blindly trust him. Need to earn it to own it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 05:50 AM
91

Ugh I heard about this is the one ... it happened in Milwaukee. This made me physically ill and hyperventilate. If there’s such a thing as afterlife, or some peace after what she went through, I hope she’s in it now. This’s horrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 05:40 AM
10

I had the same agenda. Got myself a ring and doing my hair tomorrow. I’m just going to the office on FriYAY. I’ll be double masked but will be dressing fab. I just love looking nice for Me. And buying tasteful, fashionable things without anyone eyeballing my expenses - as if they helped me earn my keep pfft - is Golden.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 05:31 AM
8

Yep. For the record ... I was single for 8 or so years before I tried dating again. Didn’t work out for me, my past cPTSD got triggered and I had to seek professional help. I’m on anti-depressants and therapy now, mom watching me closely (bless her) but I’m feeling stronger now, feeling like I’m evolving, and gradually getting back to where I was before but better. At this point, I’m revisiting the idea of living asexual. I have a hard time finding even commonly handsome celebrities appealing. B…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 05:58 PM
15

Omg yes! I have two nephews and whenever I’d visit them with goodie bags they always reach for them. More motivated for snagging some candies but still! Plus their parents will also prod them to help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 05:30 PM
5

This Valentine’s Day I’m renewing my commitment and everlasting love to MYSELF. I even bought a ring lol and I’m going to wear my favourite dress. I already got some treats and gifts for myself. I’m vowing to never give another person too much credit and instead, value my truth and my self-accountability and credibility above others. Vowing to never get swept up by effusive charm and charisma and instead see those tactics for the nauseating cologne they are. Never considering intelligence, statu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 10:48 PM
20

Oh definitely. After I stopped being a PickMe, and focused on my career and the benefits of autonomy and true financial independence was priceless. As a princess, you get stuck in a role of constantly diluting or dumbing down yourself. You’re not encouraged to be empowered, have power, and basic dignity and respect for yourself. No, you’re supposed (/sarcasm) to balance just the right amount of intelligence, charm, submission, so you’re attractive and worthwhile to waste time with. It’s all abou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 07:39 PM
41

I was raped through deception and covert aggression. I remember what went on in my mind when I found out the truth. It was as if a storm surged into my brain, a loud assault of thoughts on shame, violation, self-loathing, despair, and pain. And that storm was so forceful, it felt like if I gave into that overwhelming tidal wave of emotion I would not come out of it alive. That LVM had the audacity to think he did me a favour, curing my “loneliness.” I wasn’t lonely. I was frightened, complied, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 06:38 PM
96

Yes, I’m so glad I found this sub as it’s definitely validated me reclaiming my single and proud status.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 12:20 AM
1

Hmm I’ve had short bouts of infatuation with many POS but of my ex’s NONE were a piece of shit. They were all pretty decent, secure attachment style, good natured, the kind of people you’d feel safe around. The chemistry and communication can just fade away and life paths turn away from each other. Some didn’t end in a congenial way, but that’s life. This just made me realize that while I do get into mild flings with people who wound up being jerks, I actually never to commit years of my life in…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/20 04:08 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter