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essetea Archive

View 0 posts and 83 comments by essetea on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
27

This is difficult for me as I publicly campaign against domestic violence which I am very proud of doing and there is stuff about it all over my social media, my whole community knows I have been through it in the past
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 02:20 AM
39

I got a message to say i was banned from another dating sub the other day, I don't even post there so I'm assuming they banned me because I post here, just goes to show mainstream dating ideas are rooted in aggressive misogyny
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 12:55 AM
20

How do they not feel ashamed for how sociopathic this thinking is? He literally has no empathy for her at all
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 10:50 PM
1

Its weird I just got a message saying I have been banned from participating in r/dating i never even post there, what is their problem?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 03:26 AM
365

The boomers effect on their sons is something that seriously needs to be addressed, there are quite a few boomer parents that I am furious with because they seem to want their sons to remain children and encourage their narcissim, one boomer mother I know is constantly talking about how submissive her sons wife is that he imported from an impoverished country, they seem to hate the assertiveness and opportunities that younger women have and feel that no one us good enough for their man-child
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 03:19 AM
29

My life would have been very different if I had understood this about men 20 years ago, men have undermined everything I gave ever tried to do and I was always expecting more from them and always surprised when this happened, it is just so difficult to understand because I just can't relate to being so petty and wanting to destroy a person's life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 05:08 AM
2

Yes I'm hoping they all get their comeuppance at something, its ridiculous that male artists are still behaving like this and it has such a destructive effect on culture, so many young female artists have had their careers ruined by mens abuses, some of these women them then become curators and then I see them still supporting the careers of predatory male artists, it is infuriating to see, I wish there was a female arting strategy like a female dating strategy, it would be good for women to lea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 04:22 AM
9

I've read that abusers often groom their whole communities and work very hard of it and I've observed from my own artist community that often the abusers seem to use their artwork as a form of public grooming, the worst offenders work in socially engaged community arts where they have everyone thinking they are the messiah, one predatory individual has started making his career about disability arts because he is bipolar and has boarding school syndrome but this is concerning because everything …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 01:43 AM
6

Can female dating strategy work out a way to take over the artworld please? It would do a lot of good and I think it might be possible 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 01:25 AM
4

There is lots of great art by women you will find some that sparks your enthusiasm there are feminist art history lectures on YouTube too, Griselda Pollocks lectures are always good (she is no relation to Jackson pollock, she is more like an antidote to him) the world needs a female and feminist art world because our cultural influence is valuable and important for the enrichment of all women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 01:17 AM
3

One of my exes is making jokes about suicide on social media and it is really messing with my head because I think he may do it but I have to try not to get involved he may even be doing it to get attention and sympathy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 01:10 AM
15

Its weird that so many men don't like to go out and do fun active things, why are men like this? I lived in a beautiful city with a man, he never saw any of it, I had to wander around on my own then later when I was telling friends about things I had seen he seemed confused. Many men won't even go out on a walking date, they expect tv watching dates
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 02:37 PM
6

Watercolour painting and art in general
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 12:31 AM
278

literally anyone female could sleep with thousands of men if she wanted to, the idea of quantity will never be of any value to a woman. Her experience of sex with the majority of men would be less satisfying than any other activity she may choose to spend her time doing, quality is a necessity or she will waste her life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 10:34 PM
8

One of my worst exes just made an artwork satirising the idea of romance and because of this sub I am able to see him as the pathetic selfish narcissist that he is, thank you 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 02:10 AM
12

I will memorise this to use as a spell to cast goblin men away when I encounter them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 01:30 AM
-10

I don't think it is self loving to indulge self destruction, it does say in the handbook that if you are obese then work on that before dating
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 12:13 PM
6

This is why the art of abusers needs cancelling, they can't help but try to normalise their evil in their work
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 04:09 PM
10

He seems like the epitome of the self absorbed self pitying misogynist who becomes an abuser out of some kind of vindictive spite towards the world because of some ludicrous perceived victimhood of his own imagining. I wouldn't be surprised if he abused Soon-Yi just to torture Mia because she is beautiful, he seems like the type
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 10:58 PM
9

Yes it seems like they find commitment difficult not because the genuinely want the hassle of dealing with multiple women but because it is a threat to their egos if there is only one woman trying to please them, if they have been doing this long enough their egos can never adjust and they find committed relationships psychologically painful
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 08:20 PM
47

Most men still have not fully taken on board that they live in a world where women have the right to vote, many of the attitudes they hold were inherited paternally from a time before women had any rights
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 10:37 PM
49

Write his words down on a piece of paper then burn it 💥
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 12:22 AM
8

I had an ex who got involved with viking reenactment and ended up insulting me for looking French which makes no sense as I'm not French and looking French is not an insult, it was his pathetic attempt at superiority over me through imaginary ethnic hierarchy. It never occurred to him to spend his time doing something useful instead
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 03:20 AM
6

It seems like mens concerns and judgements about women are always to do with their fears of other men in one way of another, men sabotage each others happiness then scapegoat women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 05:24 PM
10

I did try to explain this to him, because he was my friend and I cared about him as a friend but he just got angry at me, he had an attitude as through he wanted to think this way to beat the system for his own benefit regardless of other people feelings. but he had never thought about why there is a system of expectations of monogamy and how this might actually be of benefit to him. He admitted that there were women he wanted to sleep with but not have a relationship with and that this is one o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 05:20 PM
27

They often think it is all fine because they have never really been held to account for their behaviour, the women who have been harmed by them usually can't hold them to account because that would put them in danger and 'good' men don't hold destructive men to account because they are cowards, they are scared of the abusive men themselves and so they blame the women who are victims because it is easier for them, if men are cowards about men who abuse then they can expect to find that many of th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 03:36 PM
18

That guy sounds like he has no idea how lucky he has been to have been with you and then her for so long afterwards, he has shown his lack of awareness by breaking off that relationship for such a petty reason. But his luck is likely to have run out and this will be quite a shock to him, that is why he is getting back in touch with exes. The fact that he thinks that you would want anything to do with him after he was abusive to you shows he is living in a fantasy world which will eventually come…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 03:26 PM
24

Normalising these ideas harms the men that get into them, I had a male friend for years who got into the polyamory scene and adopted its beliefs, he and I spent a lot of time together and he wanted me to be his girlfriend and said he was willing to compromise his beliefs and be exclusive, although I was attracted to him and we got along with him I feel that unless someone genuinely believes in commitment and sees the value of a monogamous relationship then I would feel anxious in that relationsh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 01:03 PM
244

There is more social stigma on women who have experienced domestic violence than the men who perpetrate it, often the men get straight into another relationship while their victims remain single for years because she is 'damaged' it only takes a bit of understanding for men to love women who have been victims in the past but it seems this is beyond them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 07:11 AM
3

I have had this over social media recently too from someone who hurt me in the past and it just makes me realise that these men who are like this are genuinely dangerous, I dreamed that one day he would apologise when he grew up a bit but the reality is he would do it all again if he had the opportunity and it would infuriate him to see me happy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 09:17 PM
8

How does it give them power over women?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 02:21 AM
2

What about if his ex died and he is not over it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 12:59 AM
1

Is it a red flag if a man's mother used to do their homework for them at school? I found this weird when hearing about it, the guy is still extremely close to his mum
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 12:57 AM
52

Why do men feel the need to belittle and dismiss womens emotions?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 12:50 AM
10

It seems like the worst ones are always contradicting themselves because they will just say anything depending on the circumstances, I'm starting to realise none of it was worth listening to
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 12:46 AM
13

Ha! No that didn't happen, he kept whining at me on the phone about how he didn't realise how nice i am when we were together but couldnt find anyone else like me since, while also sending me abusive messages when I had art exhibitions to tell me how bad my art is, he is fully blocked now
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 12:15 AM
70

They don't understand that porn isn't real and that sexual intimacy is not instantaneous
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 08:05 PM
39

I think maybe they feel that just their commitment itself is such a huge sacrifice because they are expected to be faithful and they feel that they are owed something because of this. I remember my ex yelling at me at the end of the relationship that he had passed up opportunities to sleep with other people because he was with me and he seemed to imply that I couldn't possibly end the relationship after he had done all of that for me, it was ridiculous to hear him talk, commitment is such a basi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 07:49 PM
29

Maybe it's run by male genitalia 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 11:13 PM
28

But then how us it a feminist subreddit?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 10:10 PM
1

I think he just means women there are willing to sleep with him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 10:08 PM
31

Why do they have an issue with FDS?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 10:05 PM
26

I was alarmed by the memes when looking at the Facebook pages of the friends of a man in the Irish community in Britain, a lot of them were misogynistic and immature along themes about shaming women for sex and women controlling and oppressing men or jokes about men treating their wives badly and not doing housework. I have never seen these memes shared among my friends it wouldn't be acceptable, but amoung his friends it seems normal and there were no comments from women complaining
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 09:54 AM
14

I sent 8 messages to a man i am talking to, he ignored me entirely until late the next day and replied with a message ignoring anything about valentines day and only mentioned characters in a book I mentioned
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 09:38 AM
26

Praising China because women there have a 'Liberal view of sex'
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 10:52 PM
4

I have never actually heard other women say that they are bothered by drunken men until now but is surprising I don't hear it more, it is such a social taboo to object, almost as though it is a moral imperative for a woman to be accepting of it but I do wonder how many women may secretly wish things were different even when they themselves like to drink, I don't know if they might sometimes be going along to get along
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 08:57 PM
4

I don't get this from friends but on two occasions older people who I have worked alongside have tried to set me up with their flailing sons thinking I would be good for them, that is a very awkward situation to be in, one of their sons is a creepy conspiracy theorist who wouldn't leave me alone, I can't go to my favorite supermarket anymore because he works there
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 08:05 PM
62

Alcohol seems to be a huge factor in me being single, I don't drink and I don't like the British drinking culture but so many men no matter what their age are binge drinkers who are never going to change. I am not comfortable around drunk men, especially as they seem to see alcohol as an excuse for any kind of behaviour. They think I am weird for not wanting to drink, but when I used to drink i was often pressured into it and taken advantage of, it seems like this is the way that British men exp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 12:02 PM
38

Yes! My parents took me and my ex out to a restaurant and my exs meal had a French sauce on that he had never heard of, he insisted that this was wrong and that it should be gravy because he had only ever had gravy, my dad tried to explain the sauce to him and reassure him that this was good food and not wrong, but my ex still refused to eat it and made my dad pay for a whole new meal for him, this was very embarrassing!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 10:42 AM
5

Its as though men think that being a father is an assault on their masculinity so they feel the need to be immature to prove they are a man, the irony of this 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 10:25 AM
4

The day after valentines day is the hardest, its hard to move forward from the disappointment 😞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 10:19 AM
5

Oh wow, what a bellend!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 08:28 PM
4

Nope I will look into it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 04:36 PM
10

Can you tell me more about fathers who deny their daughters wealth, safety and careers? Is this common?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 11:26 AM
6

Thank you, I'm just hoping I can now find a way to turn things around and live happily ever after
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 11:11 AM
8

There are lots of good instructional videos on YouTube
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 10:51 AM
5

Thank you so much its beautiful 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 10:50 AM
15

Yep, when I got into my first abusive relationship I was 16 and from a poor and uneducated family in rural isolation, I was dyslexic and suffered from extreme social anxiety, yes I was was weak but it would be cruel to blame me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 10:45 AM
2

Me too ♡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 10:08 PM
19

Same here, such a twisted culture and they have no awareness of it as its such a bubble
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 07:25 PM
19

I'm in my 30s and considering dating only younger men, they show an interest in me but I have usually turned them down in the past because it seems inappropriate that they are younger, I am reconsidering this now, younger men can sometimes be more mature than older men too so I have at least decided not to overlook them anymore and judge men on their character not their age
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 07:23 PM
13

Oddly this subreddit has made me feel more supported than anyone irl has in years
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 07:03 PM
20

Its such a false dichotomy and a victim blaming narrative, I'm sexually attracted to men that all my friends think are shockingly ugly and these men always get insecure and feel the need to put me down and they feel justified in doing so as though I deserve it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 06:52 PM
23

Wow, shameful 😕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 03:55 PM
21

Yep, whenever I comment in other subreddits everyone assumes I am a man, its so bizarre
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 08:11 AM
11

Any ideas for what I can do on valentines day to get through the day? Its an important day for me but nothing nice is going to happen for me on that day 😕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 07:54 AM
6

We if it is not the lack of pain the it is not 'hurt people who hurt people' and statistics prove that wrong, the phrase is dangerous because it is used to excuse abusers, many abusers do it simply because they enjoy it and are excused
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 11:42 PM
7

It is not hurt people who hurt people, women are the most abused group of people and men are most commonly the perpetrators, if it was hurt people who hurt people women would be the most dangerous but that isn't true
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 11:30 PM
12

I'm not at the blocking level yet as I'm just a beginner but yesterday I was accused of being 'extremely evasive these days' so I guess that's some personal progress
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 10:52 PM
9

I got this kind of message from a guy I knew when we were 16 who is now in his 30s, at first I was flattered by his comparison of me to other women he had met since but after chatting online with him for a while I realised he wouldn't like who I am as a grown woman and he actually just prefers the memory of a 16 year old because he hasn't managed to grow up and deal with adult life on an emotional level, and he is too stupid to realise this, I found it gross that I was talking to a man in his 30…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 10:40 PM
5

I'm just hoping no one here ends up seeing their own child going though anything like that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 03:32 PM
32

He doesnt even mention that for a man to sleep with that many women he has obviously lied to many of them which is rape by deception. If a man has slept with a high number of women he is almost certainly dishonest and should be avoided
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 03:24 PM
88

My friends baby father keeps talking about how great of an experience the birth of his son has been, I have found this alarming but wasn't sure why. I think its because he always talks about his son like it is some kind of entertainment for him and there is no sense of him empathising with the child or the mother. He shows no awareness that fatherhood may also be a difficult 'experience' that he needs to embrace and it just makes me feel that as soon as things get hard or boring he will be gone …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 03:13 PM
220

This is interesting, I read somewhere that men who use sex workers damage their ability to maintain relationships whereas the women who have been exploited often go on to develop happy relationships because what they have been through hasn't changed the way they think as much as the men using them, though socially it is considered that the woman is 'damaged' and the man is 'normal'
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 12:38 PM
18

You did the right thing by leaving and not procreating with a man like this. My dad used to do the scary driving to get his way thing when I was a child in the back of the car, I'm still so traumatised by it I will never be able to learn to drive myself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 07:13 AM
3

Even if this information is outdated, if this was ever in a DSM it will still have had an impact on the culture we are living in now and how mens' abuse is understood socially
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 05:00 AM
65

This is outrageous, this text is just excusing mens abuse as a symptom of illness there should be no excuses
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 12:16 PM
31

I went on a first date at a coffee shop once with a man who then showed no real interest in me and spent the whole time talking about how ugly he thinks his kids are and explaining that he wanted to have children with me because he though they would be beautiful because they would be half white, he kept going off on monologues about his fantasy of what they would look like, it was insane and I was so upset about how he was talking about his children and how he seemed to see me as some kind of br…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 05:35 AM
11

Yes! Be like Jackie Weaver and block! I have wasted so much energy and time on pointless interaction. Can FDS interview Jackie Weaver for dating advice?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 02:12 PM
3

The stupidity of this guy thinking that a woman has to be extraordinarily attractive to stay with forever, does he expect her to look extraordinarily attractive when they are old together? What an idiot, he will regret being such a fool, this may well have been the best chance he had with someone nice and he has messed it up irrevocably
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 09:06 PM
118

Finding this subreddit has been a huge relief to me too, a while ago I asked for advice on a relationship subreddit because I realised that sex before exclusivity just makes me anxious and upset so I want exclusivity first otherwise a relationship won't grow. In response I had abusive direct messages from various men and it was generally agreed in the comments that I had to change my attitude and have sex before any kind of commitment or I was being unfair to men, seeing sex as 'transactional' a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 11:50 PM
109

My ex always used to refer to see with me as 'free sex' which confused me and sadly I was too naive to understand what he meant and wasted years
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 09:39 AM
2

More women and children in poverty in America than many other places because the have hardly any government support in America, so a relationship must seem like a matter of life and death there because it literally could be
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 06:31 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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