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euphramjsimpson Archive

View 2 posts and 125 comments by euphramjsimpson on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
20

euphramjsimpson/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 09:28 PM
9

euphramjsimpson/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 07:11 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

Why would you want to be at their house?
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 03:58 AM
5

There was nothing that I meant more than my vow to her to be her one person until we die. Because that vow meant nothing to her, it makes it mean nothing. Why would anyone enter into such a hollow and meaningless arrangement again?
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 02:50 PM
5

I feel the same way. It will never be okay. I think about the future when my kids are grown and they have to make decisions about who to go see or how much time to spend with their divorced parents. Even though it was my ex that ditched them, she is very pushy and self-centered and will give them more grief than I will. So they'll probably be frustrated by her but will see her more anyway. It makes me sick to have perpetuated even against my will this societal rot that walks away from family whe…
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 03:22 PM
5

I have a wonderful and sexy girlfriend but I still dream of my wife. 7 years.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 03:13 AM
5

My family and future were taken away from me. I’m done with for life.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 04:41 PM
9

My ex and I aren’t friends. But there will never be another person to whom I will swear myself to through thick and thin. There will never be another woman in whom I can see the twinkle of my children’s eyes. I will never understand it and it will never be okay. I wish I had never met her. I love my kids more than anything and she is such a part of them, but I could have had beautiful children with a mother that stuck around for them and had the character to stand up for what’s right. I don’t th…
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 04:53 AM
3

I lost 40 pounds in about 3 months. I couldn’t eat, but I think that the constant pit in the stomach and my racing heart burned everything up. It’s been a long time and I don’t have that anymore but the most important things aren’t any better.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 04:35 AM
6

I once read that intimate betrayal is like emotional murder. Sometimes it sucks to have to still be walking around.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 08:33 PM
6

I understand that divorce is sometimes necessary but it should never be celebrated.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 01:15 PM
4

Yeah. I feel like a failure at basically the only thing that matters to me. I don't think anything can bring me back from it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 08:41 PM
5

There’s no getting a “family feeling” back, particularly if you have children. It’s done. FUBAR. Roont.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 05:04 PM
2

Haha. 175. Looking good, still feeling pretty shitty.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 02:46 PM
2

6ft. Went from 195 to 155 in two months
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 01:22 PM
7

Don’t get married. There’s more pretty girls than one.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 12:30 AM
8

Yeah. Seven years for me. I have my kids half the time and I love them more than anything but I don’t think they’re being raised right. There are a lot of values that I feel should be instilled in them that aren’t because my discussing them would illuminate a lot of the stuff their mother has done and I want them to honor their mother, despite what she did to us. It’s hard because I feel like I could have moved on much more easily if I didn’t have kids. Maybe that sounds callous but I knew what …
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 03:25 PM
7

“Classy”
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 03:04 PM
9

Really celebrating divorce at all is pretty gross. Certainly sometimes it is warranted, and I can certainly see relief but it shouldn’t be an occasion for celebration. But it’s not right to not be able to see your kids every day. It’s a real lens into the human capability of self-deception to see people rationalizing that it could be.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/25 03:39 PM
1

Of course I will
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 10:16 PM
3

My wedding ring was my grandfather’s and her wedding ring was his mother’s, my great-grandmother’s. He’s my namesake and the only boy of five kids and my great aunts made a big thing about giving their mother’s ring to me. That was back when I was naive enough to think that family was important to everyone and that people kept their promises. It isn’t better knowing differently. I got her ring back after a while. Too long. It really just makes me sad.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 04:40 PM
12

My ex was one of six close girlfriends that all hung out a lot before any of us got married and early in those marriages. Five of them left their husbands. All with children. It’s like a disgusting and amoral social contagion.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 02:19 PM
8

Death is a natural part of life. It is tragic if it happens early or unexpectedly but it is inevitable. Divorce and especially betrayal are not natural. My divorce undercut the principles that I held most dear. I once read that intimate betrayal is like emotional murder.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 02:45 PM
4

The worst
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 05:42 PM
13

It is hard. He’s not the one who betrayed me, abandoned me, and took my children away. But she’s the mother of my children and I would have been glad to stay with her forever despite her shortcomings. He’s a worthless piece of garbage and he now lives with my sons as much as I do. He’d be lucky to get off with a punch. He deserves a lot more.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 10:04 PM
6

My ex and I decided that I’d go back to school and into a time-intensive professional job. I did that and it was very hard and while I was doing that she went on a fitness journey with a mean, loser stay-at-home dad up the street and they both decided their marriages were shams and they broke up two families. She never told me she was unhappy or that she needed something she wasn’t getting. My marriage was over before I knew it was in trouble. It was the most important thing in my life. That is …
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 04:24 AM
1

I don’t know if that would have happened with my ex. I do know that it would be a lot easier to cope with had we ever, for one second, both known that our marriage was in trouble before she was totally checked out.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 04:38 AM
1

My ex-wife was a teacher and she denied a lot of the stuff she was doing during our year-long separation. I stupidly held out hope for us and our family even though she was still spending time with and eventually moving in with her "just a friend." I still firmly believe that children should be with both of their parents all of the time and that it is incumbent on the parents to make that the case, but back then, when I was still hopeful for our family, I would assent more for those kind of thin…
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 05:52 PM
4

My ex-wife left me while I was going back to school and into a new career. We’re the same age and we have two kids, born when we were 30 and then 35. We were together for long enough to make a decision about marriage before we got married, we were married for long enough to make a decision about having children before we had children. We were together for seventeen years. I envy you in your place in life. I always wanted kids and I love my kids more than anything but I would much rather be older…
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/25 03:52 AM
8

That's pretty much what happened to me. She never told me she was unhappy until it was over in her mind. My overtures (doing too much really) after I found out how she was feeling were qualified as my having known all along what she needed ( I would work 10 hour days and come home and make crockpot dinners for her and the kids the next day). She was hanging out and going to the gym all the time with a stay-at-home dad neighbor who is a mean and abusive person, but she convinced herself that he w…
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/25 06:12 PM
14

I had a trifecta: - We decided as a family that I'd go back to school and into a time-intensive job with a five-year-old and a newborn so I was gone a lot and exhausted all the time. - Four of six (five if you count her) of her tight girlfriends left their husbands. - She started going to the gym every day with a stay-at-home dad neighbor and they "discovered" they had a lot in common.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 02:54 PM
10

It’s the most triggering for me when I see the posts about being married to a good man who is honest and a great dad and a good provider and who love them but they’re just not feeling it after a long time. My ex did that to me and it has cut me in half. It made our kids’ lives worse. For what? So she could have a free babysitter half the time if her actions are any indication of her intentions. I asked once on that sub how someone would feel if their child was the one being abandoned like that a…
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 02:03 PM
2

With ya
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 04:17 PM
8

I once read intimate betrayal likened to emotional murder. It’s hard to think of the past times that should have been the ever-building foundation for our lives together and for our family and having them feel like a hollow lie. It’s awful to know that I’m unable to demonstrate to my children what a man and a husband ought to be. All of the time that has been missed with them, all of the anguish or uncomfortableness or undecidedness they’ll continue to face as they navigate their lives having to…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 05:39 AM
6

It’s the worst. My oldest just turned 16 so now I see them drive away.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 03:27 PM
3

I think I wrote this. I’ve had fleeting joy but the baseline is lower than it ever was before it all went away. I have sons and my youngest is about to be eleven and he told me the sweetest thing just tonight. I only wanted to tell his mother. But I told my girlfriend and my mother. And drank a bunch of beers and stayed up too late. It’s been nearly six years and she’s still shacked up with the lowlife neighbor and I’m still getting teary watching every show and she couldn’t give a damn because …
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/24 06:07 AM
8

I heard a line once about a politician that perfectly encapsulated my ex - she lacks the part of the brain that is responsible for introspection or shame.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 01:48 PM
2

Nope nobody cares
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 02:41 PM
5

It definitely can be devastating financially and emotionally to get divorced. And it is not good for children. I think it's worth it to do once. I meant my marriage vows more than anything else I've ever undertaken in my life. She changed her mind after 17 years and two kids. It really sucks to have brought that dishonor on my kids, my family, and myself, but I feel like I would be a liar on top of that dishonor to do it again while she is alive.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 04:51 PM
8

The laws were written at a time when divorce was’t the same. I agree that if a person stays out of the work force to raise children and doesn’t develop marketable skills they are at a disadvantage. If their partner then abandons them, or cheats on them, or abuses them, they should be entitled to something, and not just for the children. Depending on the custody arrangement, I could see them having to get some kind of job. I think the problem is ultimately the same problem that has caused so many…
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 03:57 PM
3

I lost 40 in probably 3 months. I couldn’t eat but I think the main thing was how fast my heart was racing all the time and the clench in the pit of my stomach.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 03:20 PM
1

I disagree. Women deserve to be able to do all of those things, just like men do. I think that the problem is that we have somehow lost the importance of family. It would be impossible for me to walk away from my children, or my parents, or my siblings, or my extended family. When I had a wife, walking away from her would have been the same as doing that to any of them. More so, really, because my duty to her came from a conscious choice and not just from that inherent duty. So many people only …
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 02:37 AM
5

That you can’t trust anyone and that promises mean nothing
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 01:45 AM
12

My ex could have written that, although I don’t think she takes the time to think about it very deeply. It’s good that you do, it’s just sad that you came to such bad conclusions. I hope you don’t have kids. They suffer because of this type thing. When my ex did that to me it broke me in ways I didn’t think I could be broken. I’m changed and not in a good way.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/24 12:18 PM
4

Especially since my divorce I’ve thought that the most insidious lies are the ones we tell ourselves. Who knows what skewed narrative she has in her head that allowed her to write that and mean it. My ex did something similar where she said in an email something to the effect of “we tried so hard, but we just couldn’t make it work.” I was floored. She never told me she was unhappy, she never told me she needed something she wasn’t getting. I replied something like that (and how she continued to …
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 02:54 PM
15

My kids are 10 and 15. It was five years ago that their mother decided that our 13-year marriage (17 together) was doomed from the get-go. It was news to me. She did assure me that it had nothing to do with the stay-at-home dad neighbor she was spending so much time with and going on a fitness journey with while his wife worked and I was going back to school and getting started in a difficult and time-intensive career. Strange that they immediately moved in together after they broke up their fam…
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/24 04:25 AM
10

I don’t know why I feel more free to say what I think about this to you, a man, than to the people who usually post these kinds of things, who are women. Perhaps it’s because I have a notion of what it is to be a good man and a good father and acknowledge the fact that there are things about women that I just do not understand. It could be that I’m just hurt and stupid. I feel so sorry for your poor children. I expect you’ll have the relationship with them that you’ll deserve. Maybe it will be f…
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 01:31 AM
10

My ex wrote in an email the "we tried so hard, but we just couldn't make it." I was dumbfounded. She never told me she was unhappy, she never said that there was something she needed that she wasn't getting. She did say that the dude who she was spending so much time with while his wife and I worked was only a good friend. She did continue to spend time with him during our separation. Now that piece of garbage lives with my kids as much as I do. I responded to her that I had no idea how to respo…
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 08:28 PM
15

I looked at the article. I guess it would make it easier to live a celebrity lifestyle where everyone does it and it says he has kids from a former marriage also, but there's no way in hell I will ever be amicable with the dude who was in the middle of the dissolution of my marriage. I will never again speak to that lowlife. It should be me that is with my kids every day.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 09:14 PM
2

My ex was hanging out with her “friend” a lot while we were still married and while his (now ex) wife and I were working. She continued to hang out with him during our separation (while maintaining that they weren’t doing anything untoward) and they moved in together a few months into our separation, while we were still married. I have spent a lot of time with his ex since then and he is a worthless piece of garbage. It makes me sick that my kids are around him at all, much less equally as much …
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 06:32 PM
14

There's a difference between being friends and maintaining a cordial relationship and not bad-mouthing the other for the sake of your children. My ex dumped me without ever saying she was unhappy or giving us a chance to work on our relationship. It pulled the rug out from under my entire life and it made my children's lives needlessly harder. I doubt if I would be friends with anyone who came close to hurting me as much as she did (though she was uniquely capable of creating that deep and unyie…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 09:34 PM
28

Sometimes having someone who swore to be your person no matter what and through thick and thin abandon you can be extremely debilitating. Sometimes when the most important thing in your life is your family and you have it taken away from you life seems meaningless and pointless. You should just stop talking to him regularly. His life is his own. If what is important to him is having his family and being with the mother of his children your contact with him is a re-opening of the pain that you al…
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 07:33 PM
1

Yep. I wonder if it's similar to the way people in other professions work (e.g. an attorney being quick to sue), where things that they see become normalized. It may be that people that come in for therapy and "getting heard" and ending up divorcing come in later being happier. But life can be difficult and it would be better for everyone (especially specific children but really society writ large), if we learned how to deal with difficult issues and overcome them rather than searching for fleet…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 06:03 PM
3

I think it's shitty either way. I don't want her to have my good name but it's a thumb in the eye to see her go back to her maiden name.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 08:09 PM
4

Her wedding ring had belonged to my great-grandmother. My great aunts made a big thing about giving it to us - it was very special. It took her a while but she gave it back. She didn't deserve it anyway. She kept the engagement ring but I gave that to her.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 08:00 PM
6

Damn. I have an awesome long-term girlfriend and I still have dreams about my ex all the time. She betrayed me, abandoned me, and took my children away. She has treated me more cruelly than anyone will ever even have the capacity to do. But she’s the mother of my children and I have a foundational belief that parents should be together and work though hard things together. Also, when I have those dreams, the person she is in them is not the person she is. It’s an idealized version. It’s not real…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 01:39 PM
2

I don’t think so. But her passively looking out of it was ultimately the same. She was spending a lot of time with a stay-at-home dad neighbor up the street - they were both at home and started working out obsessively. We had young kids and life gets hard and I’m sure it was easier for her to hang out like when we were young and have time to not deal with it. It’s pretty pathetic. I guess that’s what she’s always been. I didn’t know it but it probably was just a delay of the inevitable.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 06:02 AM
7

I wish I would have given her an ultimatum about her "friend" and left if she kept hanging around him. Perversely, I think it probably would have given me a better chance of saving my marriage but I would have had such a hard time walking away from my family.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 09:19 PM
11

This kind of stuff is hard for me too. My ex probably thinks that she tried to save our family. While most of her closest girlfriends were leaving their husbands and while she was going on a fitness journey with her “friend,” the stay-at-home dad neighbor up the street, with whom she DiD nOt have and affair and who just coincidentally now lives with my children as much as I do. I’m sure she thinks she tried but she also never told me she was unhappy, never told me anything she needed that I wasn…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 02:47 AM
14

That's interesting and also not surprising given the anecdotal evidence I read all of the time on these divorce subs. I wish I could say that it's affirming or comforting for me but it's not really. My family still got blown up. My kids' lives are still harder than they need to be. I still can't be an example to them the way I'd like to be and there's still another (loser POS) man in their lives as much as I am. They won't have a place to bring their families on holidays or just whenever like I'…
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/24 07:59 PM
9

I usually advise heavy drinking
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 05:06 PM
11

Yes. There isn't another person in the entire world that was even capable of hurting me as much she did. She made our children's lives unnecessarily more difficult and they suffer because of it. She went from the most important person in my life to the person that betrayed me, abandoned me, and took my children away. How could I possibly be friends with that person?
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 07:55 PM
3

I would have always been okay with it. I trusted my ex implicitly when she was my wife. Her "friend" was a stay-at-home dad neighbor and they both got really into going to the gym while his ex was working and I was getting started in a new career. My ex hadn't had a male friend like that before, but apparently he had a very close female friend who had died just before we met them. I brought up concerns and she said they just had a lot in common. Now that little POS lives with my kids as much as …
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 06:23 PM
3

Sorry, man. I have one of those also. She'll probably stay with that miserable prick and be miserable because they're both too prideful to admit what they did was wrong. Not that it makes me feel any better. It wouldn't even if they did split. She's brazenly shameless about the whole thing and most people just follow along. It's almost nothing but sad. Also, I've never been to Hawaii but I hear that it's nice. There's that at least.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 06:03 PM
20

I had a similar situation recently, where some old friends of ours had a get together. For a long time we had a beach trip with a big group of friends, them included. Now, 4 of 5 of the women have dumped their husbands, but one of them was the point person for the rental, so they are going to the same house with all the kids but with all new men. It was a trip I loved - it's so messed up. The party was at the home of one of the women who hadn't done that, and we were neighbors and close and I wa…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 04:33 PM
6

I have one of those. Although she’s not so covert. I always say that our co-parenting relationship is wonderful as long as she gets everything she wants in a very timely manner.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 01:32 PM
9

Unfortunately no one gives a damn!
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 11:49 PM
4

Perhaps I shouldn’t have but it was his birthday. I’d rather make him feel more comfortable and me less I guess. It’s tragic that it even needs to be an issue.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 11:37 PM
4

My ex had 6 girlfriends that she was close with before and through our marriage. 5 of them dumped their husbands.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 02:12 PM
2

I often think that the most insidious lies are the ones that we tell ourselves. I'm sure everyone does it but hopefully the result of that self-deception doesn't result in such destruction.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 07:05 PM
2

Ugh. Yep, that's true. For me, it's doubly hard because the guy she dumped me for after 17 years and two kids is really a terrible person. I don't know how she could have chosen to walk away from me without ever saying she was unhappy or telling me she needed something she wasn't getting, but especially for someone like him. It's crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 07:02 PM
3

I did very much. Looking back, she didn’t always treat me that well but when we got married, a switch flipped and she became my family just like all the rest of my family. Moreso really because it was a conscious decision for me. I like college sports and I think it’s nuts that coaches these days have to recruit their own players or risk losing them. My ex did not have to do that for me and I had no idea that she needed me to do that for her or she’d someday just stop “feeling it.” It seems anti…
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/23 10:23 PM
2

My ex always used to say that her mother was “so narcissistic” and for me to tell her if she ever acted like that. I knew where my bread was buttered so I never did. She dumped me - now it would be stupid in a different way. She has a sister who is similar. Feigned wisdom that will pull you right in. It’s been five years but I’ve been saying from the beginning that I am so thankful that we just had sons. All of that is to say that I hear you. But these are your children and you’re balancing on t…
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/23 04:41 AM
1

My ex used our marriage counseling to ‘let me down easy’ I guess. The very first one, that I had placed so much hope in, she told me she wasn’t interested in working on our marriage. Much later, when I went back to him for individual counseling, he told me that he could see that she was just blowing smoke when she said that the realization came after his “good questions.” Not that it makes any difference. I also don’t regret. I think that if I would have told her to get lost when she first expre…
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 12:32 AM
1

I agree. Getting divorced is hard, but not in the way that doing the important work to maintain a relationship is. That not only is hard, it takes a strength that unfortunately too many people aren’t willing to strive for. It’s ironic that my ex was developing a relationship with the POS up the street while they were both working out all the time. She was ripped and beautiful and physically stronger than she ever had been but her spirit was so pathetically weak. Maybe it always was and I could n…
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 12:21 AM
5

I don't know... My parents are I think. That video was depressing to me. It really just highlights and reinforces for me the belief that I did not need to be divorced, that our kids shouldn't have to live like they do, all of it. I'm five years out but time doesn't make what was wrong then less wrong now. Maybe my ex is incapable of being content. She definitely did not communicate to me anything that she needed that she wasn't getting. I don't mind hard work in the name of a good cause. I would…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 08:37 PM
4

It is the worst. Especially since my father, who I believe is a good father and who I would readily emulate, was never the kind of dad who sat me down and talked to me about the ways of the world, or how to operate within it as a father and as a man. My ex-wife dumped me without ever telling me she was unhappy for a low values, piece of shit stay-at-home dad who she went on a fitness journey with while I was going back to school and getting started in a difficult and time-intensive career. The f…
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/23 12:21 AM
13

I hate that so much. To me it's like she chopped off our kid's leg and then wants to have a discussion about, or an argument about, the type or color of prosthesis.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 06:20 PM
18

Haha nearly five years for me and I’m still as stupefied by the whole thing as I was then. I’ve missed so many days with my sweet kids for nothing. Because life is hard? I still don’t know and I’m sure I never will.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 02:55 AM
5

I think I got numbed out also. I have this crazy thing where I hold two diametrically opposed feelings about the whole things. 1) She's the mother of my children and that fact makes her the only one that I could really ever see myself with long-term, both for us and for our kids. 2) She's a deluded narcissist who betrayed me, abandoned me, and took my children away and I don't want to look at her or deal with her ever. I think the whole thing will have fucked me for life.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 06:07 PM
13

I agree that it is bad for the children. My kids materially suffer, and I'm sure that there are emotional and psychological consequences that they will always have to live with. The thing that I worry about the most is that, due to the life that they are living, doing that kind of thing will seem like like an option to be considered for them. Everything that meant the most to me was wrapped up in my family and now I consider myself to be a bad father, nearly as bad as the POS my ex is shacking u…
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 04:15 PM
5

Well my ex was different. She is charismatic and charming. She was always pretty but a little on the bigger side - at least until she got so ripped. Now she’s on the back end of that glow-up, and aging. I would have still been happy to be with her, but I didn’t know about the rot at the core. It’s tough because I’m very quiet and she can still charm about anyone - definitely my kids’ friends’ folks get enamored. I’m getting older too but attracting women isn’t my problem, it’s just that I only w…
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 12:22 AM
6

Yeah she definitely did not do it with any thought of me. She comes from a line of women that are very self-absorbed. I wish I would have known what people like that are capable of. I don’t know if I was fortunate to have upstanding family or if it didn’t prepare me for how awful some people can be. I guess maybe both. Just unlucky I hitched myself to a shiny nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 11:02 PM
12

I could have written so much of that. We decided that I'd go back to school and into a hard and time-consuming job. It was the hardest thing I ever did and while I was doing that she went on her obsessive fitness journey with a douchebag stay-at-home dad neighbor up the street who wAs JuSt A fRiEnD. That POS was thrown a retirement party at 30 since his wife did so well - she encouraged him to do whatever made him fulfilled and apparently it was my ex-wife. He didn't contribute anything to their…
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 06:27 PM
7

Also, in the reality where she didn’t cheat she wasn’t his soulmate. The idea of a soulmate is childish and ridiculous. What you want is a responsible person who honors their commitments and conveys how they’re feeling if it is pertinent and makes the most of the decisions they’ve made. That most can be everything.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 11:26 PM
8

Maybe… I would definitely break up right away with a woman who echoed the sentiment of a post I saw earlier asking what people did to celebrate their divorce. I thought of a lot of acid things to say but realized it would fall on deaf and dishonorable ears.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 02:36 PM
2

That is true. But the truth of it doesn’t make it any less fucked up.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 02:20 AM
1

I would be. She never will.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 06:00 AM
3

It’s disgusting and wrong
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 02:36 AM
5

I don’t think many people understand what it means
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 03:37 PM
1

I’ll never get married again. Even if I get to the point where I work with someone. That being said, I don’t think it’s a necessarily a male/female thing. I am with woman now whose husband did the exact same thing to her. Edit to add: But he is a little bitch boy so what do you expect
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 07:43 PM
2

Haha I probably should
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 02:41 AM
3

That is both infuriating and heartbreaking. I hope the kids will see it for what it is but who knows? My ex basically did what OP described to me. I hate that I have to participate in raising my kids like this. I only hope that they’ll know what is right.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/23 07:13 PM
2

I'm in NC and you have to if the income is different. My ex dumped me for a loser stay-at-home dad neighbor after I went back to school in my mid-thirties and into a time-intensive career. That dude's wife threw him a "retirement" party at thirty because he his job at this insurance company was "killing his soul." After she supported both of them by working through her own schooling while he did nada and then encouraged him to go back to school to figure out his passion. Turns out that was going…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/23 09:16 PM
1

My ex would probably identify me as that and would use it as part of the reason for her leaving me. However, my having to work so much was due to ta decision we made together, for me to go back to school and into a career that is time-intensive. She knew it from the outset and we went into it with our eyes open. Then when she had issues she chose to confide in the loser stay-at-home dad neighbor up the street who was a willing participant in bitching about whatever they perceived they weren't re…
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 06:04 PM
4

Yeah, I lost my wife to a mean, pathetic stay-at-home dad loser. It's hard to know if it's better or worse than if he had a lot going for him. My biggest problem is that now he's around my sons as much as I am. The not dealing with her anymore is a plus though.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 07:53 PM
4

Me too with the counseling at the end. I thought we were going to work through it - honestly, I still don’t think we had any unusual problems that didn’t just stem from where we were in life. She told the counselor at the end of our first session that she wasn’t interested in even trying. She also didn’t bring up the stay-at-home dad “friend,” who she was spending so much time with while his wife and I worked. I did when the counselor asked if there was anything else and she scoffed at me about …
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 02:34 AM
3

I wish I could do that. She infects my dreams.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 03:23 AM
3

They bought a house with the money he extorted out of his ex wife. A Brady bunch family half the time and single living the other half🤮 She is generally unhappy and he is a miserable prick so it’ll be interesting. His kids told their mom they could hear them fighting behind closed doors. Probably they’re both prideful enough to stay together, just to prove they didn’t do anything fucked up. I just hate that my kids have to have this life.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 01:34 PM
9

I had that also. At our first counseling session, at the end, she told the counselor that she wasn’t interested in trying to work on our marriage, because he “asked such good questions.” I even met with him later and he said she was blowing smoke the whole time. Also at that session she acted surprised when I brought up her spending time with our loser stay-at-home dad neighbor while his wife and I were at work. They both decided it was cool to put the kids in the nursery while they went on thei…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 05:04 AM
4

I did that for a little while also. It sucked. She left me without ever telling me she was unhappy in our marriage and she and our family were the most important things in my life. She was dating our loser neighbor. To me the hardest thing was to smell her in the bed. In your case, she has clearly already disrespected you and your marriage. Surely calling her out on it would only cause problems.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 11:16 PM
1

Life can be hard and having kids can be hard - I was aware of all of that but I wasn't aware she was unhappy in our marriage. It wasn't miserable for me, even though I was working a whole lot and wasn't really appreciated for it. It's been a long time and I feel like there were certainly things I could have done differently but I think that I ultimately just made a poor choice in what was the most important decision of my life. That said, I don't think I'll ever really understand it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 05:44 PM
7

Can you elaborate on that? I have been advised to read that book a number of times in response to things I’ve relayed about my life. I read it but it didn’t resonate with me so much. It made “love” feel so transactional. My ex-wife could be a very difficult person sometimes, but she had good qualities also and my love for her was rooted in not only our early days and experiences, but even moreso in the commitment I made to her and to our children and family. I could have walked away from her no …
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/23 01:27 AM
4

Maybe she'll see, maybe she won't. I know my ex will never allow herself to. My ex never talked to me about issues in our marriage. She said she had talked to a lot of people about it but four of her five closest girlfriends were leaving their husbands. Her "friend" who used to live up the street from us and lives with her (and my kids half the time) was leaving his wife. All low values, immoral enablers. I had thought she was better than that but she's not apparently.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 04:44 PM
8

Good comment and thanks for the insight. My ex was a very assertive person and I am pretty ambivalent about things that don't matter a lot to me (which is most of the day-to-day stuff) so I probably fell into the trap of not leading - which was great for her until it wasn't. She met a dude who is so different from me in almost every respect. I'm sure his "leading" will eventually be shown for what it is - selfishness and meanness, but who cares at this point. I just hope it doesn't hurt my kids …
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/23 06:35 PM
8

It certainly didn't help me at all to take the high road with my ex. Nothing would have. That being said, my uncle told me "you can't go wrong doing the right thing." I guess I agree with that, and it's good to maintain one's own integrity, but it doesn't help that much.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/23 09:31 PM
36

Yeah, my ex had a group of 5 girlfriends and 4 of them left their husbands. So disgusting.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 07:46 PM
2

I definitely agree about the drama. My ex ran off with our neighbor while his (now) ex-wife and I worked a lot. He is an immoral, abusive, piece of garbage but I'm quite sure that their relationship has lasted as long as it has partially due to the fact that they both have their ex-spouses to revile, even though they were the ones who did all of this. And mind-blowingly pretend like it's okay. They are also both very prideful and self-centered so I bet that they would be miserable together rathe…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 10:34 PM
2

My ex and I went to dinner and she aid that she felt like she was having a mid-life crisis and wanted to see a therapist. I encouraged her to do so and brought her some flowers and a card after she did but I suspect that her therapist to her to follow her bliss or some such nonsense. I have worked professionally and many of the therapists that I've worked with have also been divorced - easy to advocate for someone else to break up a family if they have done so themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 10:21 PM
1

I never got a chance
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 05:37 PM
4

I know that there are people who love others despite their imperfections. It is tragic to get shackled to someone who is so self centered to get to that point.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 02:06 PM
8

It does seems like there’s nothing you can do and holding on is just prolonging the inevitable. That said, it fucking sucks that there are faithless, disloyal, untrustworthy, and uncommitted people out there masquerading as upright people in the world. I never knew my ex was one but she absolutely is. I wish I never had to deal with her again and the fact that my promise to her was one that was for me etched in stone has made the whole thing so much harder. Plus the fact that my children have to…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 02:03 PM
1

I just went and looked up that book - I watched a short video about it. I was with my ex for 17 years, married for 13. I went back to school in my mid-thirties and started working in an industry where that is required at the beginning of a career. We had just had our second child. While I was doing that, she met and started spending time with a stay-at-home dad neighbor, mostly with the kids (at first) while his wife and I worked. They decided to get really fit, apparently had a lot in common, a…
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 04:27 PM
2

I agree with some of the others here. Once your ex has your child, there's not really anything you can do about it. My ex has occasionally hinted at my dropping off my kids at her and her AP's (our POS old neighbor) house when just he is home. I'll be damned if I ever remand custody of my children to that lowlife. I don't care if they get married. I won't care if my kids are 17 years old. I will never, ever do that.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/22 05:55 PM
1

It sucks
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/22 03:24 PM
14

My ex had a group of 5 friends and 4 of them dumped their husbands. At least all the other ones tried to work it out. Mine got chummy with a stay-at-home dad neighbor while I was starting a new career and while his wife worked. We had young kids and they would go put the kids in the gym nursery while they worked out for hours and got really fit. Meanwhile I was languishing in an office job that I had to back to school for - which we decided for me to do and which was not my dream job but I did i…
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/22 12:00 AM
4

Also: mid-life working out her friends leaving their spouses
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/22 05:31 PM
4

It sucks so much to deal with. We went on a big beach trip every year with all of our friends for probably 15 years. First, camping with no kids, then at a big house with a bunch of other families. I love that place and that house. It would have been one of those indelible memories for me. Now she takes that little bitch boy and his kids. It's insane. It's all the same women and all new men. Disgusting.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/22 03:54 PM
1

Fml
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/22 03:13 PM
14

That line is insane🤮
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/22 02:38 PM
2

I don’t think I can ever love anyone the same way. She’s the mother of my children. That is so profound to me.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/22 08:40 PM
2

Hahahaha! I’ll work ‘til I die!
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 03:06 PM
3

My brother is married to a woman that can be a very difficult person. She has caused strife within our family that would not have existed otherwise. She made my caring, generous, and almost too-much-to-believe-she-could-be-so sweet mother cry. One time he said to me that sometimes he has to wake up in the morning and make himself love her. I have so much respect for him for that. I'm absolutely certain that his kids are better off that he does that. He also finds joy and contentment with her eve…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/22 01:22 AM
4

My ex lives close to me so its a bit different but I can relate to a lot of this. My dad is a good man but he never was the kind of dad to sit me down and tell me about how to be in the world. He showed me. It tears me up that I won't be able to show my sons how to be in the world in a similar way. He worked hard to provide for us. I went back to school and started a hard job and my ex-wife started hanging out with a stay-at-home dad neighbor. I believe that family and honoring commitments are f…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 11:50 PM
8

I'm right there with you. It's been longer for me, 3 years. I have trouble watching anything involving families, love, doing the right thing even though it's hard, etc. I should be nothing but angry with her, but I'm like 95/5 sad to angry. I really just don't get it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 04:00 PM
1

So I read this subreddit and some others about divorce, dating, narcissistic exes, etc. This comment is so interesting to me in that it encapsulates how to deal with what seems like a common reason for divorce, i.e. the relationship wasn't working, maybe people tried, it was tough on the kids to see the dysfunction, etc. My ex just decided she wanted something different I guess. She didn't talk to me about it at all prior to her telling me she "didn't know where we were going." We decided togeth…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 04:09 PM
11

That person is my old neighbor. I don't know what my ex saw in him but he is not a good person. He has been and is abusive to his ex and his own mother, calling them both c**t and b***h. I know he has cursed his ex in front of his two young daughters. I think the things he has done are reprehensible and irredeemable. He probably isn't like that to my ex or to my sons but I know that is what he is. To me, it is very sad that his daughters will grow up thinking that an acceptable way to speak to w…
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/22 09:27 PM
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