extherian Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	Why are women immediately turned off by guys who lack experience? Because it's extraordinarily difficult for men to find with someone outside of a romantic relationship.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/09/23 05:33 PM
0	Q4All: What's the biggest lie you were told about the opposite gender that you discovered was not true as you got older? And it's harmful bollocks that should never have existed.	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/09/23 10:39 AM
1	CMV : If you’re the guy she had to lower her “unrealistic” standards for the you’re forever on thin ice Isn't negotiating attraction what so-called "game" is all about? Why does anyone bother with it if it doesn't work?	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/09/23 07:12 PM
3	What does your “ideal” dating life look like? But why, though, is it so gendered? I am a man and so far only the women have described my ideal relationship. All I ever wanted to do was get married and forget about the dating game. Apparently I am some kind of freak of nature.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/09/23 04:06 PM
1	What is all this average men and average women? This is just immature. If attraction really can't be created then I might actually be screwed, I am pretty sure I have never had any kind of sexual chemistry with anyone before. I wish there was a simple answer.	/r/ExRedPill	22/09/23 04:09 PM
1	What is all this average men and average women? This is just immature. Interesting conversation doesn't create attraction. It can help you make friends with women, it has nothing to do with falling in love. The challenge facing men like me is that I had no idea that flirting was necessary for women to experience sexual desire, so I ended up going down the redpill rabbit hole because I had no idea what was wrong with me.	/r/ExRedPill	22/09/23 03:50 PM
3	Where to talk about dating without RP nonsense, but without judgemental AH's in non RP dating subs. There is zero point in flirting with someone who isn't attracted to you.	/r/ExRedPill	20/06/23 12:37 PM
1	Men who left Red Pill, did you ever go back and apologize to the ones you hurt? What did you do instead if not? Thank you. My brain was freaking out all yesterday and shitting all over me emotionally, all the kind people here helped call me down.	/r/ExRedPill	07/05/23 06:26 PM
3	The concept of "Game" Just talking to women 'like they're humans' is important but not enough by itself, you also have to flirt with them or they'll never see you in a romantic light no matter how good your chemistry is. Unfortunately, I was dumb enough to think this meant some kind of overly sexual alpha male act, which achieves nothing more than hurting and upsetting them.	/r/ExRedPill	06/05/23 06:18 PM
3	Men who left Red Pill, did you ever go back and apologize to the ones you hurt? What did you do instead if not? You're right, it's not like it's inherently part of my character to be a bad person. It did mess with my perception of myself a lot though.	/r/ExRedPill	05/05/23 08:15 PM
2	Men who left Red Pill, did you ever go back and apologize to the ones you hurt? What did you do instead if not? I posted my situation on a certain subreddit a couple of days ago, expressing regret and shame at what I'd done, and people piled in on me and called me pathetic for my stupid alpha male act. I guess I freaked out and began thinking that maybe I can't be forgiven. Really I should know better than to expect support from internet strangers.	/r/ExRedPill	05/05/23 06:13 PM
1	Men who left Red Pill, did you ever go back and apologize to the ones you hurt? What did you do instead if not? Thank you so very much. I'm afraid to go easy on myself in case that means I'm making excuses to minimise my wrongdoing. It feels like I'm trying to balance on a ball and find the right balance between either not giving a shit or just hating myself. But I guess I have no choice since feeling worthless was what led me down this path to begin with.	/r/ExRedPill	05/05/23 05:08 PM
3	Men who left Red Pill, did you ever go back and apologize to the ones you hurt? What did you do instead if not? The really dumb thing is that I feel afraid to bring any of this to a therapist. Even in a private, confidential setting I find it hard to talk about things that I feel ashamed of. I guess I am afraid that the therapist will attack me or make me feel even worse. Actually I don't know why I even think that.	/r/ExRedPill	05/05/23 04:38 PM
5	Men who left Red Pill, did you ever go back and apologize to the ones you hurt? What did you do instead if not? Thank you for your encouraging words. I'm scared of confronting myself, but staying as I am is much scarier. I wonder if my feelings of shame are just another way of trying to protect myself.	/r/ExRedPill	05/05/23 04:12 PM
5	Men who left Red Pill, did you ever go back and apologize to the ones you hurt? What did you do instead if not? It's tough to get my head around, I have autism so I naturally tend to see things in black and white terms. To me it feels like the world is divided into people who are inherently good and those who are inherently rotten. It's like if I accept that I did wrong then I accept that I as a person am bad. Maybe I should stop posting and just go get therapy.	/r/ExRedPill	05/05/23 03:32 PM
6	Men who left Red Pill, did you ever go back and apologize to the ones you hurt? What did you do instead if not? I don't give a shit about pills anymore. Nor do I care about getting women or not. I just can't look myself in the eye and respect myself anymore. I just can't live with myself.	/r/ExRedPill	05/05/23 02:49 PM
17	Men who left Red Pill, did you ever go back and apologize to the ones you hurt? What did you do instead if not? I did apologize to the person I hurt and she seemed to forgive me for my shitty attempt at running game on her. We're still on speaking terms, which is more than I deserve. The problem is, now I know what an insecure loser I am to have fallen for this crap in the first place, and that I can't forgive myself for. I don't know how to move on. I'm always going to remember that I'm the kind of jackass who had a red pill phase. I'm a weak, shitty person and even if I change my behaviour for the bette…	/r/ExRedPill	05/05/23 02:27 PM
3	Do I have to be a leader/ dominant in sex and the relationship It's a very common preference, but by no means universal.	/r/ExRedPill	21/08/22 07:13 AM
2	One of my hardest experiences with the Red Pill men in my life was... Incredible. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to belittle your personal experiences. What an unbelievably rigid and cruel mindset.	/r/ExRedPill	19/08/22 12:29 PM
1	One of my hardest experiences with the Red Pill men in my life was... Were none of these men able or willing to listen to your traumas in return for you listening to theirs?	/r/ExRedPill	19/08/22 11:23 AM
3	Advice from someone who has been married for almost 20 years... Nope. Ugliness limits your options, but you do still have options. It's just a matter of whether or not those options meet whatever standards you have in a partner. If you want someone else to overlook your appearance, the least you can do is do the same for them.	/r/ExRedPill	16/08/22 07:45 PM
6	Advice from someone who has been married for almost 20 years... It is not supposed to be comforting,. it's just a fact. There is no point in dwelling on how your looks affect your chances. It can accomplish literally nothing other than to make you feel worse about yourself.	/r/ExRedPill	16/08/22 04:38 PM
2	I’ve accepted and finally came to peace with RP I struggle to believe that a so-called 'true connection' is even possible between men and women. It seems to me that you can either be her best friend or the love of her life, but not both at the same time. My biggest fear isn't ending up in the friendzone with women I like, it's getting out of it. I find the idea of having to play the role of the dominant man in a woman's life to be suffocating and lonely.	/r/ExRedPill	16/08/22 12:15 PM
10	Advice from someone who has been married for almost 20 years... There is no point in worrying about looks beyond the obvious stuff like dressing well and working out. It is out of your control and therefore trying to compensate for a lack of good looks is a waste of time.	/r/ExRedPill	16/08/22 10:43 AM
3	How do I humanise men again? Speaking as a man, I felt under immense pressure to act like a monkey even when I didn't want to, because I believed that was masculine behaviour and women wouldn't feel attracted to me unless I acted that way. It didn't help that most of the women U liked were in fact into really macho guys.	/r/ExRedPill	10/08/22 09:34 PM
2	Alex.datepsych on Shit Tests and how stupid the concept tends to be (Alex is a new dating coach with a website based on real science called datepsychology.com, i urge everybody to check out his content) A question: do you like being submissive, or do you act that way because you think it increases your odds? I always found the idea of having to be the leader in the relationship to be an intolerable amount of pressure, but I felt like I had no choice in the matter.	/r/ExRedPill	03/08/22 09:18 PM
3	Is texting a person of interest really that hard? At the time I was so inexperienced with talking to women that if someone I was texting told me she turned into a werewolf once a month I'd have believed her. I think most guys are so flattered to be talking to a woman at all that they don't even notice the weird shit you lot get up to lol	/r/ExRedPill	01/08/22 10:48 PM
3	What are your red pill -mgtow favourite-patethic sentences ? Kept up with age with the help of extensive plastic surgery more like	/r/ExRedPill	01/08/22 09:34 PM
7	Is texting a person of interest really that hard? I find it oddly comforting to know that there are women out there who also felt insecure enough to buy into red pill thinking. Setting a timer is exactly the kind of pedantic stuff I used to do lol	/r/ExRedPill	01/08/22 08:43 PM
1	Your Personality is NOT the problem women here are making it to be Every once in a while when I feel upset I type dumb posts that I really should have just deleted.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/08/22 05:28 PM
-2	One of my many experiences of being a Red Piller's "plate". The avoidant style of attachment is the only way that works. There is no way for a woman to fall in love with a man without some degree of emotional manipulation on his part, which you lot insist on calling "chemistry". It's the reason why relationships are bullshit and bad for humankind.	/r/ExRedPill	30/07/22 12:34 PM
3	An Important Step to Combating the Rise of The Red Pill Nonsense, there is no solution, it's human nature that women don't want men that much. Learning to live with this reality is just part of growing up as a man.	/r/ExRedPill	30/07/22 10:44 AM
8	I(fe.) can't get out of the TRP mindset and it destroys me What you're experiencing is a kind of death spiral, where you look to what the opposite sex thinks of you to learn how much dignity you deserve, and then feel even worse as a result. It won't help for anyone to tell you that not all men view women that way, instead you must know that your dignity as a woman and as a human being has nothing to do with what men think of you. They cannot take your self respect away unless you let them. I was the same during my red pill days as a man, I hated myself…	/r/ExRedPill	30/07/22 10:36 AM
2	How the fuck do TRPers spin plates? Try rethinking the values that you use to make sense of things. There are other ways of looking at the world that are open to you.	/r/ExRedPill	29/07/22 05:43 PM
1	How big of a deal breaker is sharing your man? Lol no, my big interest is in animals, particularly weird ones like octopods, insects and random Palaeogene mammals. But I enjoy talking about animal behaviour and all the mad things they get up to in the wild, not so much cats and dogs. The pressure comes from the need to 'fake it till you make it', despite knowing that you will never really 'make it'. I have an anxious temperament and can't channel a cocky vibe no matter how hard I try.	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/07/22 09:08 AM
1	How big of a deal breaker is sharing your man? I can't believe he didn't have to run any game on you. Holy shit, that sounds like a dream come true. I always thought there would be a lot of posturing and frame management even within a relationship but your guy doesn't seem to have to do any of that. It also makes sense now why I haven't fallen for anyone in a very, very long time. It's just hard to love someone when you feel under pressure around them all the time. And I hate having to avoid talking about my interests so that I don't bore th…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/07/22 10:30 PM
1	How big of a deal breaker is sharing your man? Could you elaborate on that last point? I've never met anyone that I had any real chemistry with, what is it like?	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/07/22 08:30 PM
5	How big of a deal breaker is sharing your man? Unfathomably based	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/07/22 06:34 PM
7	Why is it easier for men to get with other men vs women That's just natural selection for you.	/r/ExRedPill	27/07/22 03:02 PM
1	How do i stop myself from hating women? You know, just reading that cheers me up. I think I got redpilled to begin with because I thought women really didn't want or care about us.	/r/ExRedPill	25/07/22 08:57 PM
2	How do i stop myself from hating women? I still find it hard to get my head around the idea that women actually like attention from men in certain circumstances. I know that your sexuality isn't visually based like ours is, so it makes intuitive sense that men's attraction to women is mostly one-sided, but apparently that's not always the case.	/r/ExRedPill	24/07/22 01:36 PM
1	Redpill is bad for men. Bluepill is just as bad as redpill. Blackpill is king. No problem, man, remember that no one can disrespect you unless you let them do it. You decide to respect yourself, then no one can take that from you. Good luck and godspeed	/r/ExRedPill	21/07/22 08:32 PM
1	Redpill is bad for men. Bluepill is just as bad as redpill. Blackpill is king. Remember that the world is full of beautiful things that aren't women, I personally intend to see some of those beautiful things. With no prospects for a wife or children I am free to spend my income on whatever I please instead of responsible things like a mortgage deposit or a car. I built an awesome gaming pc last year with my savings, and now I'm saving to see South Africa because I can. It's not that I think living my life this way will please women, it's that living my life this way please…	/r/ExRedPill	21/07/22 08:26 PM
2	Redpill is bad for men. Bluepill is just as bad as redpill. Blackpill is king. Right, so it won't make you happier, so why dwell on it? Find fun things to do in your life and fun people to spend it with. Blow your load in a Dutch hooker if you're curious about what it feels like. This is the only life you'll ever get to live, and sooner or later you will stop caring about this shit, I got over it and so can you.	/r/ExRedPill	21/07/22 07:43 PM
3	Redpill is bad for men. Bluepill is just as bad as redpill. Blackpill is king. Who cares. Eventually you will get tired of worrying about this shit and just get on with enjoying your life. How will obsessing over this stuff make you in any way happier?	/r/ExRedPill	21/07/22 07:37 PM
5	Redpill is bad for men. Bluepill is just as bad as redpill. Blackpill is king. Why the hell do incels always list every minor thing wrong with their appearance like they're in an RPG or something? No one cares nearly as much as you do.	/r/ExRedPill	21/07/22 06:52 PM
1	How often do women get "girlfriend-zoned"? Why do you think this doesn't happen to women? Is it that men desire women much more than women desire men?	/r/ExRedPill	15/07/22 08:41 PM
-1	I’m so happy! Believe me, I am all too aware that this is the case, and I now restrict my dating to queer circles for this very reason. I've accepted that I'm an anomaly and made my peace with it, but I haven't given up hope just yet.	/r/ExRedPill	10/07/22 09:48 PM
3	I’m so happy! Thank you! I'm content with being alone knowing that I'm not compatible with most women. I'm not missing out because the pressure to be their kind of man would be impossible to endure.	/r/ExRedPill	10/07/22 09:33 PM
5	I’m so happy! I never said it overrode anyone's opinion, I acknowledge that I am somewhat of a minority. My point was that not everyone wants these roles or is compatible with them. They're either naturally a part of who you are or they aren't. People who are transgender or gender nonconforming are by no means the mainstream but that doesn't mean that we are insignificant or that we don't matter. For what it's worth, I don't think young men are being "discouraged" from being masculine, more that the ones who …	/r/ExRedPill	10/07/22 09:28 PM
6	I’m so happy! Unfortunately I cannot accept my "biological role", it is fundamentally incompatible with who I am, a hypersensitive autistic man who needs lots of support from others to function as an adult. Masculinity does not come naturally to me, nor does it feel natural when I try to act it out deliberately. I can only hope that if a man like me exists, then there may be a woman out there who feels equally uncomfortable with her role of submissive femininity. I don't know whether I count as queer or not, …	/r/ExRedPill	10/07/22 09:14 PM
6	I’m so happy! The "hero instinct" bullshit turned me off relationships entirely for about a decade because I believed that women expected it of me and I knew I couldn't be that pillar of strength for someone else.	/r/ExRedPill	10/07/22 09:06 PM
2	Ex red pill woman here- I feel like I am not human I think it's because our minds become habituated to trying to protect us from harm, to the point that our logical beliefs become separate from our emotional reactions. So you experience cognitive dissonance when you read something that debunks your beliefs and you start picking holes in the debunking argument. The only way out that I have found is to continuously expose yourself to different ways of thinking and keep trying to resist the urge to protect yourself with red pill thinking. Eventuall…	/r/ExRedPill	05/07/22 08:28 PM
2	Ex red pill woman here- I feel like I am not human It's funny because I feel the same way about assertive, confident women - I love them despite those not being traditionally feminine traits. Short hair is gorgeous as well.	/r/ExRedPill	05/07/22 08:25 PM
2	Ex red pill woman here- I feel like I am not human I have the exact same problem from the opposite side, I know that I don't necessarily have to be this dominant he-man for women to like me, but on some level I'm afraid not to act that way. It's like my brain knows the truth but my heart doesn't.	/r/ExRedPill	05/07/22 08:03 AM
1	I don't want just fuck hot women anymore, I want to pair bond. It was a weird friendship where she made it clear that she saw me like a little brother, yet kept implying that she would have dated me if she were single. Despite all her flirting, when she did end up single she lost interest in me even as a friend. I guess I just got played.	/r/ExRedPill	04/07/22 10:12 AM
1	I don't want just fuck hot women anymore, I want to pair bond. No, a combination of weak emotional boundaries and low self-esteem on my part meant that I fell for them very quickly once I got to know them. Kindness on their part was all it took. Neither woman was particularly good looking but I found their appreciation of me intoxicating. They both liked me but despite our chemistry, neither was attracted to me. These incidents happened a very long time ago, when I was in my early twenties. I've hardly spoken to a woman in the eight years since. I think tha…	/r/ExRedPill	04/07/22 10:10 AM
3	I don't want just fuck hot women anymore, I want to pair bond. I really don't know. I've had incredibly close friendships with women, in some cases with a level of emotional intimacy that seemed too much just for friends. And yet in each case, I was the only one who developed feelings out of the situation. Red pill thinking seemed to provide the answer, that I wasn't manly enough and didn't flirt when it might have made a difference. Reading about women's experiences on the internet really surprised me, I didn't think women really fell in love at all but it…	/r/ExRedPill	03/07/22 08:35 AM
1	What are your thoughts on lying about sexual inexperience to avoid a catch 22? The testimony of other men on the internet who had bad experiences, and if women on the internet who seemed thoroughly turned off by the idea	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/07/22 08:17 AM
2	I don't want just fuck hot women anymore, I want to pair bond. Pretending to be someone else is the only way I can attract anyone to me. There is no one out there who is compatible with me because I just don't inspire chemistry with women. I know red pill thinking will lead to doomed relationships that won't last, I'm not stupid. But it's either that or never be loved ever again and I'm terrified of ending up alone.	/r/ExRedPill	02/07/22 04:01 PM
0	What are your thoughts on lying about sexual inexperience to avoid a catch 22? The fact of the matter is that if you don't mention your virginity and try to fake your way through as best you can, then you at least have a chance with her. If you admit to being inexperienced, she now knows that you're the kind of weirdo who never gets laid and she'll be out of there like a shot.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/07/22 02:32 PM
3	What do women think of muscles on men and which is body type preferred? Why is it so important that it not be achieved through gym work? Is the effort required a turn off? Is it the insecurity about his appearance that a gym physique implies?	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/07/22 11:02 AM
1	How does age preference for a man change throughout the life of a woman looking for the physically most attractive man? Isn't New York outside the New England area? I thought Boston was in New England but New York wasn't.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/07/22 02:36 PM
1	TRP’s attitude towards crying makes you weak From OP's descriptions, that inner child is also an enormous turn-off to women, which is the very reason why men struggle so hard to repress it. Ironically, this results in the very behaviour that they were trying to suppress in the first place with their unhealthy coping mechanisms.	/r/ExRedPill	30/06/22 11:08 AM
17	A womans lack of awareness of what actually attracts her can lead to self sabotage of a relationship Ultra Chad is a variant of Ultra Instinct, which causes nearby women to spontaneously orgasm while their underwear flies off into the sunset to find their home planet.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/06/22 05:01 PM
5	I don't even know if I'm capable of change. I'm going to be an incel for the rest of my pathetic excuse of a life Willpower is a skill that you develop through practice. In my case, I started going to the gym because I was insecure about my appearance, but I kept going because after a while it became easier to go than not to go, if that makes sense. It is possible to feel better than you do now. You have accidentally conditioned yourself into overreacting to things the same way a fat person has conditioned themselves into craving sugar all the time. Believe me, you can change. Therapy helps, but much more i…	/r/ExRedPill	27/06/22 09:12 AM
1	Why did you leave redpill? Why don't they count? I, for one, am such an outlier. Red Pill advice is worthless for someone like me because I don't want that kind of relationship.	/r/ExRedPill	24/06/22 12:56 PM
3	I don’t like being a man. It dosent really mean anything to me. The negative things that you are saying to yourself are your way of protecting yourself from disappointment. When I was depressed, I thought very similar things to what you just said. Whether those thoughts are true or false is irrelevant, what matters more is the mindset that produced them. Other posters will come along soon and begin debunking the things that you said, but you probably won't find their arguments convincing because you want certainty that everything will be OK, and you want a p…	/r/ExRedPill	21/06/22 07:53 PM
2	So you want women to "lower their standards" but at the same time "not settle" for you....HOW is that possible? I think that they do have some interesting things to say mixed in with all the bullshit they spout, but I'm afraid to follow them for the very reason that it would make me look bad lol.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/06/22 02:53 PM
1	So you want women to "lower their standards" but at the same time "not settle" for you....HOW is that possible? Rather than lowering their standards, women like that should be content with remaining single indefinitely. The same goes for men. If fewer people are able to reproduce then that can only be a good thing for the happiness of the human race.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/06/22 02:51 PM
1	So you want women to "lower their standards" but at the same time "not settle" for you....HOW is that possible? Knowing this reality kind of turns me off the idea of relationships altogether, just knowing that she'll never want you as badly as you want her. Sexual desire is humiliating and I wish there was a chemical way of eliminating it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/06/22 02:48 PM
3	Opinions In that case, the majority of women are not for you, or for me for that matter. Bending to these societal norms is not worth the price of your dignity or self-esteem. If that means you end up alone, then so be it.	/r/ExRedPill	20/06/22 02:06 PM
2	Does being arrogant and brash work well with women? Your comment isn't completely wrong, but it is overly simplistic. Consider this: exceptions to these tendencies exist. I know they exist because I am one such exception, a man who is turned off by submissiveness and who values romantic connections higher than sexual ones. I can only assume that I am an anomaly without normal male mental wiring, but since a man like me is possible then it follows that a woman without normal female mental wiring is possible as well. And we do see such women, here …	/r/ExRedPill	17/06/22 08:14 PM
4	One of the biggest reasons men will continue to struggle with women. Nah, I don't really care about the sex part as much as emotional intimacy. My plan is to act like I'm doing her a huge favour by allowing her to be my first and hopefully that will confuse her into thinking I'm an alpha male.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/06/22 09:43 PM
7	One of the biggest reasons men will continue to struggle with women. I agree with a lot of what this sub says about men and women, but at the end of the day you only get one life, and obsessing over how unfair things are is not the way to get the most out of it. Honestly I don't think this sub does much good any more than just depressing people unnecessarily.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/06/22 09:35 PM
25	One of the biggest reasons men will continue to struggle with women. There comes a point in life where you stop wondering if you're going to meet someone and start wondering if you'll still be alive in five years time. The world is full of beautiful things that aren't women, so death shall wait for another day. First on my list is South Africa's garden trail!	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/06/22 09:01 PM
2	One of the biggest reasons men will continue to struggle with women. On the other hand, perhaps if I make my autism sound like a superpower she might jump my bones there and then. She has no way of knowing that being a wizard is a bad thing!	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/06/22 08:59 PM
4	One of the biggest reasons men will continue to struggle with women. Now that you mention it, there's also a third option: brag about being a virgin and how enhanced my sexual powers are by my inexperience. That would be the true Alpha move!	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/06/22 08:57 PM
8	One of the biggest reasons men will continue to struggle with women. A question: would it be better to avoid mentioning it and just prepare as well as I can, or just admit up front that I'm an autistic virgin and just act like it's not a big deal?	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/06/22 08:33 PM
35	One of the biggest reasons men will continue to struggle with women. 31 with zero experience, can confirm am fucked. I will spend my life saving money and travelling the world instead.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/06/22 08:30 PM
2	Q4WOMEN: What are the clues a man can use to tell if a woman only wants to string him along and not sex/commitment? I'm surprised to hear that you enjoyed that kind of attention. Didn't you feel objectified by those men? Even with your insecurities I would have thought random horny DMs would make any woman's skin crawl.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/06/22 07:38 PM
3	Why does so much dating advice say that you can't feel sorry for yourself? Jumping to conclusions like that is part of your problem. I've spent the last ten years of my life on ever-increasing quantities of antidepressants that have failed to treat my depression. I'm a virgin who has never had a girlfriend, never held down a full-time job and struggle to manage my Asperger's. And though I express the need for emotional support to my family I save the heavy shit for the counsellor I see once a week. I recommend that you do the same.	/r/ExRedPill	13/06/22 03:46 PM
4	Why does so much dating advice say that you can't feel sorry for yourself? Those people are better off alone until they can manage their issues. The pain may never go away, but even in the case of severe trauma they should eventually aim to be capable of functioning by themselves without having a partner to act as their therapist.	/r/ExRedPill	13/06/22 03:32 PM
5	Why does so much dating advice say that you can't feel sorry for yourself? They were harsh towards you because they saw the possibility of you burdening a partner with the full burden of your mental health problems rather than dealing with them yourself. They weren't being harsh because they hate you or anything like that. And yes, there is a broad consensus that it is unreasonable to expect someone to feel the pain of all your negative emotions with no expectation that you will try to get better. That's not abusive, and your insisting that it is won't change anything …	/r/ExRedPill	13/06/22 03:11 PM
3	Why does so much dating advice say that you can't feel sorry for yourself? Believing these things might make you feel safe, but they will also make you feel miserable. Consider the possibility that you might be wrong and what that might mean, leaving your own painful experiences aside. It's worth taking the risk of getting hurt again when the alternative is living without hope.	/r/ExRedPill	13/06/22 01:21 PM
3	Why does so much dating advice say that you can't feel sorry for yourself? Honestly, co-dependence was exactly what I thought relationships were all about when I was younger. I had this romantic idea that you saved the other person and that they saved you, and I felt betrayed and disillusioned when I realized that I was the only one who saw it this way. In hindsight I was using women as a crutch to cope with not having any friends. It amazes me to hear how mature everyone here is, that they always knew the importance of handling their own emotions. I don't know why I t…	/r/ExRedPill	13/06/22 01:10 PM
1	For young men, 2 options are available to improve, which you think is better? I guess I find it hard to judge how much is too much. The last thing I'd want to do is neglect working on muscle mass or income growth just in case it happened to matter to the woman of my dreams, should I ever meet her. It feels risky not to go as hard as I can maxing out my superficial traits.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/06/22 01:57 PM
1	For young men, 2 options are available to improve, which you think is better? I'm not sure I follow your logic here. Isn't the kind of man a woman would want to sleep with also the kind of man she'd want a relationship with? How could you want a relationship with someone you don't find attractive?	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/06/22 01:40 PM
7	People seriously underestimate negative survivorship bias in dating I'm one of the handicapped ones, with Asperger's syndrome. I took way longer to mature as an adult compared to my peers and at 31 I'm afraid I missed the boat on the dating scene.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/06/22 10:59 PM
0	What do you think of women who post sexy pictures on social media while in a relationship? I wouldn't care about the pictures. What would make me very annoyed is if she was having flirty conversations with the guys drooling over her via OnlyFans or Instagram DMs. They can look, but they can't touch, and that includes emotional contact.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/06/22 02:53 PM
14	Women CONSTANTLY reiterate the axiom that “the standards for men are at an all time low” and that “the bar is on the floor. ” This is not only total bullshit, but an enormous slap in the face to the vast majority of males who are good people, many of whom are attractive and successful. Sometimes I feel like the male and female posters here live in totally different universes. It's just a great big zoo full of hurting people screaming into the void.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/06/22 02:45 PM
1	Daily Community Chat Megathread That really is total horseshit, speaking as a very sensitive and highly strung male. We get hurt, attached and everything else just as much as women if not more so.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/06/22 10:35 PM
1	Daily Community Chat Megathread Maybe they're trying to tell you something lmao	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/06/22 10:27 PM
1	Men are forced to approach in abundance if they want any shot at getting laid or an LTR, yet they are shamed for it by women who want to feel special creating a very frustrating situation for men. The secret you're missing is that the vast majority of men are desperate. We take whoever settles for us, not whoever we feel the strongest connection with. If you're very, very lucky, they might even be the same person.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/06/22 01:50 PM
3	Women, do you know any sexually less than successful men in real life? What are these men like? You and your bros are good dudes, I wish I had friends like you guys in real life.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/06/22 09:28 PM
1	CMV: PPD is full of nothing, but toxic forced optimists who don't want to hear genuine/valid criticisms on the behalf of modern dating or actual solutions to modern dating's problems, you all just want people to get at it dating regardless if is doing good to one's physique or not Yeah, I'm just mentally very unwell, that's why I'm catastrophizing. At this stage I'd settle for the first woman to show me even the slightest bit of interest, regardless of her personality or appearance.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/06/22 06:08 PM
1	CMV: PPD is full of nothing, but toxic forced optimists who don't want to hear genuine/valid criticisms on the behalf of modern dating or actual solutions to modern dating's problems, you all just want people to get at it dating regardless if is doing good to one's physique or not Women also have to deal with the threat of predatory losers raping them out of frustration, which men need never worry about.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/06/22 10:52 AM
2	CMV: PPD is full of nothing, but toxic forced optimists who don't want to hear genuine/valid criticisms on the behalf of modern dating or actual solutions to modern dating's problems, you all just want people to get at it dating regardless if is doing good to one's physique or not Past a certain age you don't have a choice in the matter. For 30+ boomers like me, most women in my age group are already married or long-term relationships. Without dating apps, the odds of me even being able to meet one of the few single women remaining would be dire. The obvious downside is that impressing someone over an app is a thousand times harder than in person, but that's the price I pay for not getting my act together sooner.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/06/22 10:48 AM
2	CMV: PPD is full of nothing, but toxic forced optimists who don't want to hear genuine/valid criticisms on the behalf of modern dating or actual solutions to modern dating's problems, you all just want people to get at it dating regardless if is doing good to one's physique or not I think that what they mean is that men have no inherent value as human beings unless they create that value by their own efforts. It's not that men can't have worth, it's that it has to be earned, not something that they inherently possess.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/06/22 09:54 AM
1	CMV: PPD is full of nothing, but toxic forced optimists who don't want to hear genuine/valid criticisms on the behalf of modern dating or actual solutions to modern dating's problems, you all just want people to get at it dating regardless if is doing good to one's physique or not Because we are just commodities to be bought and sold. It's the same for us as it is for the rest of the animal kingdom - survival of the fittest. Discovering that you are not among the fittest is one of those heartbreaking things that men just have to learn to deal with if they don't want to be alone.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/06/22 09:51 AM
2	Are the anonymous insights from women useful or shit tests to help filter out the naturals? Unfathomably based	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/06/22 07:49 AM
4	Are the anonymous insights from women useful or shit tests to help filter out the naturals? Is confidence still attractive even if it's a little forced? I'm quite insecure and neurotic, to the point where I've given up on the idea of just 'being myself' around women I like. I'm just too intense and overly emotional not to need to put up some kind of a front. At the end of the day I just want them to feel happy and relaxed around me. But I'm also scared of the idea of ending up in a relationship with someone and having them pressure me to open up about myself. The vulnerable side of me …	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/06/22 07:46 AM
1	Daily Community Chat Megathread Literally no one but gay men give a shit about penises.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/06/22 06:32 PM
2	Daily Community Chat Megathread Guy here, emotional by far.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/06/22 06:17 PM
1	Slutshamming isn't a big deal None of the commentators here can heal you, ease the feelings of shame about sex that you feel or save you from yourself. The thing is that it doesn't matter whether those beliefs are true or not. Only you can decide how ashamed to feel about not feeling desirable. Only you can decide that you won't feel ashamed any more. I have grown older, seen my parents grow old and seen other people's relationships fall apart from trying too hard to please each other. I no longer judge myself in comparison …	/r/ExRedPill	06/06/22 11:12 AM
1	As a guy Imma be honest, I think more guys should really work on self-establishment and self-actualization before getting into any relationship, even if it isn't serious Finding myself took a very long time - about ten years. I'm in my thirties now and much more at ease with myself and with other people than when I was younger, but I do regret that I couldn't share that learning process with women along the way. On the other hand, any such relationships would have happened back when I was trying way too hard to be someone I'm not. I'm still not sure whether I missed out or whether I dodged a bullet on what could have been some really miserable relationships. Als…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/06/22 10:06 PM
1	Why are some people's mating psychology more similar to the opposite sex? Sounds like God done fucked up when he made me then, lol.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/06/22 08:59 AM
1	Should you never reveal yor weakness and vulnerability to women? These comments were found in Tribe of Men's video "Woman with A STRONG FATHER FIGURE tells it how it is" The logical conclusion that I reach from all this is that the only kind of relationship open to me is a short term one - anything deeper than that would expose my lack of masculinity and strength. Such hookups are also something that I have no interest in, making them worse than just being happy alone.	/r/ExRedPill	02/06/22 01:10 PM
1	Hey everyone!! Part of how I got radicalised was from discovering just how common these preferences are, even among self-proclaimed feminists. I gave up on the idea that these things could ever be changed and decided that I would have to live up to these norms as best I could. But deep down, I don't really want the responsibility of being someone's protector. If it was possible for me to adopt the submissive role in a relationship as a man, then I would. As you learned yourself, you can't change what you reall…	/r/ExRedPill	01/06/22 11:49 AM
2	I have a weird question for former and recovering incels here. Not an incel, but I think asexuals are the luckiest people on earth. Desiring someone yet knowing you aren't desirable yourself is a painful and humiliating feeling. All the posturing and mind games you have to do while dating really aren't worth it.	/r/ExRedPill	30/05/22 02:50 PM
1	Is porn actually that bad? It's the Irish word for werewolf! I'm from Ireland, I recognised it as Irish immediately. My username was made up because I wanted something short and easy to remember, I'm not an ex-furry or anything like that. The body issues thing is something I can kind of relate to, I joined a gym because I feel self conscious about how skinny my arms are. What a world we live in where women feel like they're too big and men feel like they're too small. And I'll take being called a 'good guy' as a complimen…	/r/ExRedPill	17/05/22 08:31 PM
5	Is porn actually that bad? Thank you, your comment has made my day. I don't know why, but I feel oddly relieved to hear other people find sexual stuff embarrassing as well. Makes it all seem a little less scary.	/r/ExRedPill	17/05/22 07:09 PM
10	Is porn actually that bad? That is going to be one awkward conversation to have, but then again communication is what it's all about, isn't it? I went to school in a Catholic country and I had no idea the clitoris even existed until I read about it on AskMen.com. The fact that it's actually outside the vaginal passage is proof that there truly is no god.	/r/ExRedPill	17/05/22 03:01 PM
6	Is porn actually that bad? I didn't even think of the camera issue, so I guess I'll look for a text guide. It feels odd to think that just reading about it might be enough for such a physical act. I also laughed at the idea of a camera man trying to shove his camera in some poor woman's crotch while trying to dodge the other guy's tongue!	/r/ExRedPill	17/05/22 02:49 PM
7	Is porn actually that bad? I am a virgin who wants to be able to give oral that isn't uncomfortable for the woman receiving it, can this be learned from porn? Sorry to ask but I'm a bit squeamish about the whole thing.	/r/ExRedPill	17/05/22 02:22 PM
8	I think the lack of a father figure throws young men into the redpill culture. I don't think it was so much "you don't need men" so much as "don't be dependent on abusive men", basically like a female version of MGTOW. Unlike with men, though, women usually end up with the responsibility of childrearing after a divorce, which complicates things. It's hardly her fault if the father of her children doesn't bother involving himself in their lives.	/r/ExRedPill	16/05/22 08:43 PM
3	Seeing redpillers describe women makes me wonder what kind of women they seek out. I think the words used for these kinds of relationships are very confusing. What you described as a"friend" is closer to what I would think of as an acquaintance, while for me a true friend would be akin to a lover without the sex part. Perhaps I'm just far too clingy in general to grasp the nuances of these things. Thanks for the explanation.	/r/ExRedPill	14/05/22 04:21 PM
2	Seeing redpillers describe women makes me wonder what kind of women they seek out. Pardon me for asking, but the part about common interests and life goals sounds a lot like what draws friends together, and yet for women friends are a separate and non-overlapping category to romantic relationships. What else separates the two other than sexual attraction?	/r/ExRedPill	14/05/22 02:25 PM
2	So uh… What do women want again? I'm a man, my dude. Trust me when I say this is a pointless hi to die on. It is not reasonable to expect feedback from women who have justifiable fears of being attacked or molested by men if they disappoint them. Aside from anything else, you might just not be their type and they won't want the awkwardness of trying to justify that.	/r/ExRedPill	08/02/22 12:44 PM
1	So uh… What do women want again? He needs therapy. These kinds of experiences either leave you hating yourself or hating other people, when the lesson you need to learn is to love both even when things don't go your way. It is impossible to feel affectionate towards someone when you hate yourself, so it's easy to externalise your feelings and decide that something's wrong with them instead. You can't show him how to love himself, without that first step people like him will keep lashing out.	/r/ExRedPill	08/02/22 10:38 AM
1	My plan as an incel The important thing to remember is that nothing is guaranteed in life. If you're ugly than statistically speaking you're less likely to end up in a relationship with someone you find attractive, but it's not impossible, just not guaranteed. Society has this weird idea that meeting the love of your life is inevitable at some point, which it very much is not. Incels on the other hand are equally delusional in thinking they have no hope at all. In a way it's easier to tell yourself that because it …	/r/ExRedPill	20/08/21 10:21 PM
1	Can we agree that it is over for some? Not blaming anyone for this Yeah, of course it sucks. When I first realised how bad my prospects are, the shock was so bad that I started having panic attacks. The trick is not to dwell on it and end up becoming bitter and resentful. I like to smile at women regardless of the sour looks they give me - they don't have any power over me any more and I no longer regret having lived without them for so long. But it is messed up how society just can't accept lone men as normal. You're weird if you try too hard, and also weird i…	/r/ExRedPill	29/07/21 06:28 PM
1	Can we agree that it is over for some? Not blaming anyone for this I wouldn't give up on having a family so easily - you can always adopt by yourself once you're financially stable enough. In fact, this is my long term plan. I'm not ugly, but I do have autism which is nearly as bad, so an added plus for me is that the kid won't inherit my genes and my struggles. My dream is to raise a boy who can be more successful at life than I was. Also the media makes love seem way better than it really is. Just check out r/deadbeadrooms to see how badly wrong things can go…	/r/ExRedPill	29/07/21 04:17 PM
3	Can we agree that it is over for some? Not blaming anyone for this Your main issue is that you feel like you have no dignity as a human being. That has nothing to do with women and everything to do with your attitude towards yourself. I don't know which 'studies' you've read and believed in (we all go through a phase of reading 'studies' that seem to confirm our worst fears) but there is no real-world reason why you shouldn't be able to hook up with a fellow ugly woman over the years to come. The other problem you have is that you are deeply afraid. This is why…	/r/ExRedPill	29/07/21 08:50 AM