ezra502 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
52	as a trans man, how do i fit into male advocacy?	discussion	ezra502	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	09/01/24 03:55 AM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
8	What double standards do men face? women are allowed to dress like men but men aren’t allowed to dress like women	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	19/02/24 10:12 PM
8	Circumcision is a term used to normalize genital mutilation. i think it’s been hard for a movement to call circumcision genital mutilation to gain momentum because so many people are walking around with it. most circumcised guys don’t consider their genitals to be mutilated, especially because the term mutilation evokes unsightliness. to be clear i don’t consider circumcision morally different from FGM, but i wonder if intactivism requires a little more tact to get across to circumcised men (who surely play a role in the circumcisions of their sons).	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	14/02/24 02:09 AM
1	Gen Z men are leaning more conservative while Gen Z women are much more liberal it’s straight up inaccurate to characterize the feminist movement as one for female supremacy. the ideology of feminism is gender equality. it’s absolutely fair to point out their deviation from such a goal but far and wide that is espoused as the feminist goal. and as someone with dogs in both races, feminists say the same shit about y’all. when men’s issues are brought up it’s “we’ll care when men lift a finger to fix their issues”. y’all can all wait for the other side to magically become awa…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	29/01/24 11:34 PM
-1	Gen Z men are leaning more conservative while Gen Z women are much more liberal do you really think that’s a fair assessment? i realize that the actual movement is flawed but no genuinely accepted piece of feminist rhetoric is supportive of keeping men in their role of provider, fighter, asserter. cherry picking the most reactionary or hypocritical feminists to support your assertion about feminism is no more genuine than a feminist cherry picking the most violent or misogynist men to support their assertion about men. you can’t expect other people to do better if you’re no…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	28/01/24 05:06 PM
-2	Gen Z men are leaning more conservative while Gen Z women are much more liberal i mean everyone wants the spoils of the grind without working. if anyone is put in a position where that’s possible they’re going to lean toward it. it’s easy to say gender roles are wrong when they’re hurting you, and hard to say it when they’re helping you- to my mind this exists in both male and female spheres because sometimes gender roles do benefit men. in those cases men are often happy to carry out their gender role, just like a woman being happy to have a man pay for her dinner. and tbh…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	28/01/24 12:59 AM
16	Gen Z men are leaning more conservative while Gen Z women are much more liberal yeah i think it’s become common to give themselves a pass because they’re on the receiving end of misogyny, but it’s so counterproductive. although i have seen some change in this direction gaining momentum within the feminist movement.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	27/01/24 05:42 PM
40	Gen Z men are leaning more conservative while Gen Z women are much more liberal i spend a lot of time in feminist spaces and fully agree. this is feminism’s biggest weak point rn, the ability to apply feminist thinking to their actual relationships and the men in their lives.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	27/01/24 05:35 PM
2	Should we do away with gender pronouns and honorifics? i had lots of teachers in high school who went by just their last name, “hey mccoy could you help me with this bit?”. i don’t think it’s that harmful though as long as it’s not enforced. a lot of people are really attached to the idea and if being called “Mrs.” makes them feel respected i’m happy to do it. it just sucks that it’s the professional precedent.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	24/01/24 08:24 PM
2	Should we do away with gender pronouns and honorifics? oh yeah the miss/missus dichotomy is super out-of-date. i hope professionally we can just start saying people’s names, there’s no real reason to use Mr. or Ms./Mrs or sir/madam/ma’am. i think a lot of people say “it’s a respect thing” which is particularly infuriating when they’re (knowingly) using a title to be disrespectful of someone’s gender identity.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	24/01/24 07:51 PM
1	Should we do away with gender pronouns and honorifics? honestly i don’t think gendered pronouns are going to phase out of society or become less important for a while. if society were less reactionary about transgender people it would be possible, but as it stands gender really does matter to a lot of right wing people, especially that the distinction and roles of man and woman is upheld. ultimately i think people should care less about pronouns and titles but as it stands trans people aren’t empowered to do that before everyone else starts.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	24/01/24 07:31 PM
2	Did anyone else develop a complex about how "scary" they were to women? why, if a bunch of people in one group are behaving a certain way, could it not be systemic or cultural? of course it’s harmful to demonize men but i think it’s possible to criticize the cultural behavior encouraged among men without saying “men are inherently bad”. for my example, high school boys, i don’t think high school boys are some type of evil demon. i think they tend to lash out because at that age people need emotional support and boys are pretty much shit out of luck for getting it. a…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	24/01/24 02:31 AM
0	Did anyone else develop a complex about how "scary" they were to women? okay, so how do i reconcile that with my lived experience? was it misandrist of me to put up those walls? how can one point out flaws in male culture without being misandrist?	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	24/01/24 01:54 AM
-4	Did anyone else develop a complex about how "scary" they were to women? my experience did leave me with the impression that most men to some degree view women as lesser, usually unconsciously. if it leaves you with that impression as well then i think we’re on the same page, but “most men are misogynists” kind of paints men as openly hateful chauvinist pigs and that has not been my experience.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	24/01/24 12:40 AM
-2	Did anyone else develop a complex about how "scary" they were to women? i mean it’s not just about rape or even intimate situations. i genuinely through experience came to avoid men because i could expect not to be treated with respect, and there was a pretty distinct dichotomy between that and how men behave around me now. not that i wasn’t rude to many guys when i didn’t need to be, and probably negatively affected them with it, but speaking from experience i do think you’re underestimating the scope of sexism towards women.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	23/01/24 11:43 PM
13	Did anyone else develop a complex about how "scary" they were to women? i was just thinking about this. i’m trans FTM and pre-transition i loved to compliment people’s outfits. i like fashion myself and tbh it’s nice to positively affect someone else’s day with a compliment. i don’t do it anymore with women (who are usually the wearers of cool outfits) because i don’t feel like i positively affect their day anymore. and it sucks to have that effect on people, but i get it cause that was me once. especially being a goth girl in high school you don’t need feminism to …	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	23/01/24 03:37 PM
-1	as a trans man, how do i fit into male advocacy? again, i wouldn’t consider affirmative action to be discrimination.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	10/01/24 05:16 PM
1	as a trans man, how do i fit into male advocacy? my good friend works in construction and it’s a male only workplace (not by policy, it’s just that only men are working there) and they are pretty unlikely to hire a woman because they’re not trying to catch a sexual harassment case. a bunch of guys in a group tend to make things pretty hostile for women, not cause they’re guys, just because the work culture in those areas can get pretty misogynist if i’m being honest. i hear you about caregiving jobs as i work in the medical field (it’s a techn…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	10/01/24 05:13 PM
1	as a trans man, how do i fit into male advocacy? well i’m quite with you on the first paragraph, but in regards to why you owe it to feminists to take the time of really empathetically trying to understand their position, a lot of feminists ask the same thing about men and it leads to them absolutely failing to give a shit. yeah you don’t owe anyone anything, especially a group you may have been hurt by, but if you want change sometimes it requires doing uncomfortable things that you shouldn’t have to do. i make this argument to feminists freq…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	10/01/24 03:43 AM
1	as a trans man, how do i fit into male advocacy? aside from the amber heard thing, those have all been the case since before feminism ever made a change in society. i assume women’s prisons weren’t packed in 1890.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	10/01/24 03:28 AM
0	as a trans man, how do i fit into male advocacy? one thing about me is that i love bell hooks, and she makes some really good points about the idea of the patriarch and how that idea affects society both in the family and out, so i do believe the term holds some utility- but perhaps i should be more open to the idea that other forces are at work and put another name to them. “western society” feels too broad, traditional gender roles comes to mind, so does misandry.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	10/01/24 02:50 AM
1	as a trans man, how do i fit into male advocacy? forgot to answer your first question- largely this power comes into play in social situations, but is dependent on my being particularly masculine. in high school did you ever do something that impressed the popular group and feel yourself rise a little bit in social status? it’s like that, only i didn’t do anything except be a man. it ends up failing for me when i actually have to follow through on that perceived power because i am ultimately not more personally empowered for being a man.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	10/01/24 02:28 AM
-1	as a trans man, how do i fit into male advocacy? i would characterize what you describe as promoting both traditional gender roles and misandry, and while i understand that some feminists do think that way, you have to understand it’s unfair to characterize feminism by only its worst participants and attributes. if you really think most feminism is about traditional gender roles and misandry, i don’t believe you’ve done your due diligence in learning about feminism or making an effort to understand feminists’ perspective.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	10/01/24 02:24 AM
2	as a trans man, how do i fit into male advocacy? yeah that does make it harder to get a job. transphobic propaganda has convinced many people that one word from a transgender person can take down an entire career, but that has never been my experience unless i were in the perfect situation at the perfect time. most of the time if someone finds out i’m transgender they assume that any complaint i make is an exaggerated grab for attention, and won’t take it seriously without threat of legal action. which all of a sudden makes me the problem if i…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	10/01/24 02:11 AM
1	as a trans man, how do i fit into male advocacy? sometimes it does translate to actual power, sometimes it completely doesn’t. really context dependent. what do you mean though when you say feminism has to be unlearned in society? what specific ideas does that entail? i assume you don’t mean the idea that most people would say is feminism, the idea that women and men are equal, but i feel like the word “feminism” has been completely thrown around here and i do not know. why is it bad to fundamentally change the way we interact with gender?	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	10/01/24 01:42 AM
1	as a trans man, how do i fit into male advocacy? well i’m not comparing the amount of male surgeons to the amount of male nurses, which would be analogous to your high school footballer vs NFL player, i’m comparing the amount of male surgeons to the amount of female surgeons, which is not analogous and shows a clear disparity. my point that women are at an employment disadvantage at higher levels stands. also, i’m not sure i’d agree it’s pure angelism or demonism. it seems like the natural consequence of ideals that men are stronger and have g…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	10/01/24 01:39 AM
3	as a trans man, how do i fit into male advocacy? not at all. i would say i have a greater perceived power in society, so in situations where that power is likely to be used for other people’s benefit, i am given deference. in situations where that power could be used to other people’s detriment, i am treated as an aggressor. the exact same thing that makes my voice more likely to be heard is the one that sets me up to be used for my value, which is what i mean when i say feminism and men’s advocacy are in theory completely compatible.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	10/01/24 12:47 AM
2	as a trans man, how do i fit into male advocacy? thank you for the in-depth response. tbh i would firmly disagree with your assertion that men and women are inherently mentally different. a significant amount, if not all, of the perceived difference in men and women’s styles of communication, inclinations, social interactions, etc can be chalked up to the vastly different socialization. you’ll have to take my word that it makes a world of difference because you can’t really grasp it until you leave or transit gender as a social phenomenon. the…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	10/01/24 12:39 AM
3	as a trans man, how do i fit into male advocacy? i see what you mean about rivalry, and ultimately i don’t think either movement will see its next wave of success without working in tandem. so if both groups need to turn toward each other and find our common interests, i think the question worth asking is, how can our side contribute to that happening? i’ve noticed a feeling on both sides of “i’ve done enough, i’ve changed, hurt enough, i’ve compromised enough for men/women” and i think it needs to be overcome because activism doesn’t stop at …	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	10/01/24 12:20 AM
-4	as a trans man, how do i fit into male advocacy? there are a troubling amount of feminists with those beliefs, but to my mind (and that of most feminist women in my life) it serves the patriarchy to believe or promote the idea that violence is inherent to men. most people think of the patriarchy as stereotypes that only oppress women, but every stereotype about or expectation of women creates the reverse of that expectation for men (or perhaps it happened the other way around: certain expectations were placed on men, and they reflected on wome…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	10/01/24 12:00 AM
1	as a trans man, how do i fit into male advocacy? i see that in lower levels like schoolteacher or nurse, but not in higher levels like surgeon or professor. afaik professors are about even these days but still skew toward women for nontenured positions and lectures, while skewing toward men for tenured positions. i hear your point though about professions such as childcare that discriminate against men in employment due to stereotypes that women are better caretakers than men and men are more likely to be violent or sexual than women.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	09/01/24 11:47 PM
7	as a trans man, how do i fit into male advocacy? yeah it troubles me that in feminist spaces women tend to shut down any discussion of how to work with, help, or be helped by men. a bunch of people got mad at me the other day for saying it might not be kind or effective to make fun of a guy who is insecure about his height. tbh i think that in many situations individual men are indiscriminately painted as oppressors as a means to excuse oneself from compassion	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	09/01/24 10:40 PM
1	as a trans man, how do i fit into male advocacy? i agree with you on this, and i don’t feel my other points have contradicted the existence of female privilege.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	09/01/24 08:16 PM
6	as a trans man, how do i fit into male advocacy? not my experience in these comments :) i was a bit worried but glad to see this sub is trans-accepting	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	09/01/24 06:54 PM
2	as a trans man, how do i fit into male advocacy? there’s absolutely an element of confirmation bias. in a lot of ways people treat me better because i am a happier and more confident person, but tbh i think the difference is too great to solely be attributed to that. i’ve only included my most concrete of examples but it’s still shocking how people treat me differently all the time. it happened pretty quickly, i didn’t get that much older in the span of a month or gain really any work experience.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	09/01/24 06:53 PM
0	as a trans man, how do i fit into male advocacy? i haven’t noticed many fields where men are disadvantaged in employment, and i wouldn’t consider affirmative action-type things to be disadvantaging men (open to more information here). what i mean when i say male privilege is that i see the difference in how people treat me everywhere i go- sometimes it’s not enough to make a difference, sometimes it’s counteracted by other things, but the difference is always there. i have a hard time reconciling this experience with the idea that male privile…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	09/01/24 06:44 PM
6	as a trans man, how do i fit into male advocacy? i’ve been transitioning for about 5 years but people started perceiving me as a man about 3 years ago (age 18 then). there’s absolutely a mismatch in expected socialization and actual socialization, although gendered socialization for a trans person tends to be a mix of both. tbh i think your idea about why men receive more deference in certain situations is probably correct, but from an individual perspective that doesn’t change that my words are just more likely to be listened to. privilege ra…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	09/01/24 06:33 PM
8	as a trans man, how do i fit into male advocacy? first of all, i am quite sorry that happened to you. i was with an abusive woman before i transitioned, and it still kind of fucks me up. if you’re willing i would like to understand what feminist ideals might have disempowered you to leave, or how feminists treated you when you share your story, why you believe they did, what feminist influences in society are making you cautious about another relationship, etc. i absolutely believe you were mistreated during and after your relationship by wome…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	09/01/24 06:24 PM
1	as a trans man, how do i fit into male advocacy? it’s been my observation that a lot of men’s advocates have a belief that feminism and the associated change in women’s place in society is the root of men’s problems and i think that is untrue. i don’t want to “not all scotsman” feminists because i do know harm has been done to men in the name of feminism, but i don’t believe the core ideology is against men. i’m not fully aware of the ways in which feminists are harming men, and i would love to know more and bring that information back to wome…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	09/01/24 06:13 PM
2	as a trans man, how do i fit into male advocacy? i mean as an ex-woman, that is my experience. i’m sure there are women out there who don’t feel they have to be afraid, but during my time i shared that with about every woman i knew.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	09/01/24 06:03 PM
-2	I absolutely hate term "Emotional Labour" family court bias: patriarchy says a woman is soft and nurturing while a man is strong and domineering. how could a man ever be emotionally sensitive enough to raise a child? criminal court bias: patriarchy says men are more capable of violence than women. of course under this system men are more likely to be seen as criminals. divorce/alimony: patriarchy says a woman is always less powerful than a man so it would be impossible for a man to be hurt by a woman homelessness: patriarchy says women …	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	06/01/24 03:56 AM
0	I absolutely hate term "Emotional Labour" so feminism is done? they did it? cause as someone who used to be a woman male privilege is very real and alive and there is a genuine difference in how society treats women	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	05/01/24 08:08 PM
0	I absolutely hate term "Emotional Labour" so you don’t think the system that demands men financially provide and never show emotion is not detrimental to men, or not patriarchy? because patriarchy does not just apply to women, it’s a system. yes something can benefit men in one way and hurt them in another way. it’s called nuance.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	05/01/24 04:50 PM
1	I absolutely hate term "Emotional Labour" i have, and there is absolutely an unrecognized amount of emotional labor expected of men, but that doesn’t mean these social systems aren’t still in place. i’ve seen both my parents’ relationships.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	05/01/24 04:08 PM
-3	I absolutely hate term "Emotional Labour" if you think patriarchy only empowers men and disempowers women you don’t know much about patriarchy. i am once again recommending bell hooks	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	05/01/24 04:04 PM
-7	I absolutely hate term "Emotional Labour" we not talking about the patriarchy here? never said it wasn’t misused or that emotional labor can’t be self-appointed. but do we not agree that men are disempowered in the emotional world? when people say “relationships take work” they don’t mean sending birthday cards or going to a job, they literally mean emotional labor. emotional labor = things that are hard to do emotionally.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	05/01/24 05:08 AM
-27	I absolutely hate term "Emotional Labour" idk i think there are things that constitute emotional labor, and there are fair arguments that women do most of it in relationships. emotional labor isn’t just supporting a partner in hard times, sometimes it’s bringing up a problem, or being patient with your partner, or forgiving them for hurting you, or being responsible for your flaws, or teaching someone to be a good partner to you, or all of them at the same time. it doesn’t matter how much you love someone, these are all still difficult …	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	05/01/24 04:24 AM