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failure_apparent Archive

View 0 posts and 77 comments by failure_apparent on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

That's a good silver lining. We all want happiness for our kids but hopefully his 17 year old will learn through dad's battles. My ex came after my girlfriend's 4 year old son, saying he molested our three year old daughter at the time. It's like these vindictive women look for the one place they can pinpoint to do the greatest harm no matter the cost. Tactical my ass, just evil. Which is why I'll never ever forgive her.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 10:52 PM
2

Oh I agree with you on the nagging part. I don't know why so many women seem to find it necessary to nag their men. One thing I've noticed over the years is that women are experts at passive aggressive behavior. I think as men we usually go through a period as boys or young men where we get in a fist fight or two, and learn about the physical aspects of respect and the consequences of our actions. SOME women seem to think these days there are no consequences for how they behave around men. I don…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 05:44 PM
2

I read the thread you posted in, in dating over 40. It didn't really seem like you got swarmed by angry menopausal women. Honestly bro... that attitude will hold you back. Women aren't all evil, there's just as many good honest hurt women who have been screwed over by dudes. I get it though, not here to judge. Maybe it's not time to date again yet? I had these same opinions in the first year or two after my separation. Looking back, I realize I just wasn't ready yet. Maybe just go out there and …
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 12:41 PM
3

The apps are the worst. If at all possible, avoid online dating and get out there doing the things YOU enjoy. Who knows, maybe you stumble upon someone who also enjoys those things and sparks fly? Nothing is out of the question.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 07:54 PM
2

I hate that I agree with this but that's what this utterly FUCKED process does to us. I really lucked out on my current GF though... but I keep in my mind at all times, it's just what it is... CURRENT. Either of us can check out and leave at any time, although doing that to our kids would be horrible and does complicate things. But yeah, if I was single again and looking at things freshly divorced, no way in HELL would I put myself out there other than a quick score.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 07:53 PM
5

I think it's a shit test type of thing. I tell em "cool, you do you boo" and given the opportunity for a redo, I'd calmly file first and watch her implode. I'll never be a woman's emotional punching bag ever again. I've had to reign in my current GF a few times too. But she responds to alpha masculinity and my ex effectively beat the beta out of me. Took every last fuck I had to give. Now when my GF goes on an emotional tirade, in just sit and stare and when she stops to take a breath, it's "are…
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 02:52 PM
5

Or the possible alternative, she's blazing ahead full speed to try and keep OP off balance and to get as much as possible out of the deal while his head is spinning. If you're reeling and unable to keep up, it might not be a bad idea to find an attorney that can negotiate on your behalf...
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 02:28 PM
1

to Top That's one of those situations where I think karma will sort it out. She will be the one to experience terrible events in her life because of behavior like this...
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 01:02 PM
1

Wait, a judge actually said "She is owed"?. What did he mean by that? I can't wrap my head around it. Jesus christ, if it means what it literally sounds like... My divorce was a super shit show but christ, at least I had what I think was a fair and admirable judge who saw through the BS. I didn't get joint custody but that was probably my own fault for moving over an hour away so I could afford a place to stay.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 01:00 PM
1

I work in IT- definitely NOT the culture I am familiar with lmao...
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 01:53 PM
2

This actually sounds a lot like my ex-MIL. No idea about her promiscuity but based on her craziness, obsession with religion later in life, having had at one point upwards of 15 cats, it fits the bill. Kind of explains some of my exes craziness too if her mom is like that...
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 01:44 PM
1

Thanks for the screenshot, this is going to be printed and hung on my wall lmao.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 01:43 PM
5

I always hear about this happening, I guess I don't know any women like that? Never had a woman run off with another guy in that kind of situation. What is it these guys offer exactly? Excitement? That shit is NEVER long lasting lmao...
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 05:57 PM
1

Well hell man, that right there is the fast track to success! I am 5'10 1/2" and would usually just list as 6". If they are so sensitive to an inch of height, obviously not worth the squeeze.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 02:07 PM
1

Just had to screenshot this comment. So true!
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 06:12 AM
3

MY MAN! 👍👍
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 04:07 AM
2

I am CRAVING this lately, but not in a financial situation where I can do it yet. Doesn't need to be anything fancy, just a small room somewhere to get away to when I need it. Currently living with my GF and while it's nice having her around and especially having the help, it's a small house that gets stifling pretty quick having zero privacy or alone time. But the housing market is still tough and I only bring home about 3k a month after taxes, with almost 70k debt. Just not possible to get out…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 05:48 PM
3

Vasectomy ftw
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 12:37 PM
1

Yeah that's been the hardest part! I want to do what OP did so bad but I am drowning in debt just from fighting for my kid, and have her 4 nights every two weeks. I love my little girl more than anything... but the days I don't have her get very difficult and I get increasingly depressed, usually from the drive back to meet her mom, all the way up to the drive to pick her up again 10 days later. I feel sooo guity thinking this but... sometimes I wish I didn't have her and could have just packed …
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 05:40 PM
2

Man that sounds blissful tbh. I crave a simple quiet life alone. Maybe one day...
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 05:36 PM
1

You sure will! I am callous as hell now. I used to be a pretty sweet sensitive guy. But after years of abuse, I no longer give a fuck... and it shows.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 05:23 PM
2

Good advice. When I hit that lowest low point and the suicidal ideations start creeping in, I just remind myself that I am fighting for my kid and if she turns out relatively normal, than I was a success and NOT a failure. Some days are easier than others obviously. Having a particularly tough one today but it's my own fault - have stopped taking meds as frequently, depression and insomnia creeping back in and I am mentally/emotionally exhausted. This really skews my outlook.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 04:53 PM
3

"I feel like I’m constantly crying to this group." That's what we're here for. Cry away friend, let it out.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 04:50 PM
2

I hear that. There's a reason divorce is known as one of the loneliest things a man goes through. You learn pretty quick who your friends are. In my case, I quickly learned that I had no real friends and family weren't much better. But it's taught me to be more self sufficient and not need anyone else to lighten my load. I'm carrying it my own damn self and when it's all said and done, I'll look in the mirror and see one strong ass dude.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 04:50 PM
1

I will also add, I got financially bent over during the divorce so if anyone out there needs help with this, we can probably work something out. It would have to be outside work hours but I am reasonable on cost.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 04:28 PM
2

Good news is that most ways (outside of very well hidden hacks/malware) of syncing anything on your laptop/desktop/phone to the cloud are very easy to track down. Here's a start though, free of charge. For your computer (assuming Windows), type Win+R, then type in "appwiz.cpl", this will open a list of all installed programs on your computer that are registered to the Windows registry (basically anything that is installed via a typical installer and isn't purposefully hidden or running from an e…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 04:26 PM
3

What KILLS me is all the women who bitch and moan that "all the good ones are taken". No bitch, most the good ones are taken. The rest of us are through with y'alls BULLSHIT.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 04:11 PM
1

My man just wanted to play football lmao. Even the best out there aren't immune to it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 04:09 PM
2

Hah sounds like my current GF, just wish she would lose a few lb. But cooks like a pro chef, huge knockers (had to even get a reduction for health issues - smaller now but still D cup and they LOOK and FEEL like frickin' bolt-ons which is amazing on a 35 yr old woman), and LOVES sex. Unfortunately she's a bit crazy too but I can almost write that off to the trauma she's endured. Basically your joke/analogy should be "woman who cooks good, loves to bang, has big boobs, and is NOT crazy... basical…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 04:06 PM
3

Because men aren't typically loyal to other men. We are each others competition. Unfortunately that's life for you. Woman tend to band together to support each other, especially against men. Not all obviously and doesn't apply to all situations, but applies to enough of them...
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 04:02 PM
1

I agree with this. My current GF's ex cheated, smacked her around, but ultimately had the decency to off himself with alchohol abuse. Screwed up part is she was so loyal she did everything to try to save him and wound up just watching him bleed out on the floor of their house... with her 3 year old at the neighbors house. I could tell right away (plus from talking to her neighbors/friends who knew more than I did) that she had been through it and was a real victim, not an "emotional victim"...
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 03:51 PM
3

Oh jeez personal trainer. My buddy is a personal trainer, has been for almost 2 decades now. He is absolutely jacked, used to play football, now is a competitive bodybuilder during the competition season. Women literally LAUNCH themselvse at him from a mile away. He's a straight up good dude though, loves God, loves his overweight wife, and would never dream of cheating. I know it's been tough fighting the temptation though!
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 03:38 PM
5

That almost seems like... common sense. My girlfriend now wants to start working out/get in shape. I am encouraging it. But I am also going to train her myself. Don't need to be an expert, just need to be better than her lol
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 03:32 PM
3

I've never heard the term "went off the reservation" but I definitely like it lmao. Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 03:30 PM
2

I think every guy reading this is throwing up them fives right now. We're sharing in this victory, like it or not!
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 03:27 PM
2

OP playing the long game, I love it! I just KNOW how good that felt getting that call. BRAVO!
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 03:24 PM
2

Damn nice, happy for you. I kind of got screwed or screwed myself every step along the way. But honestly, as tough as it is now, still better than living with the bitch.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 03:23 PM
5

I hear that. It WOULD be simpler, probably less drama, etc. But women got that seductive appeal, they know it, it's their ace up the sleeve. I think honestly the best option in the absence of a beautiful honest woman (good luck!) is just escorts if you can afford them. Money in hand, GTFO.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 03:21 PM
7

lmao I don't see OP falling for that one. That ho is on her own now. She a street corner baby mama now :D
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 03:16 PM
6

Winner winner chicken dinner! Well played.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 03:14 PM
6

Delicious justice! Sometimes I actually wish my ex was stupid and/or volatile vs being intelligent, cunning, and cold. I have yet to outsmart her in the big picture. At least my attorney did her best to get me a fair shake but that woman had me figured out and pegged from the start. SO glad to be done though...
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 03:14 PM
3

Well yeah, even if they aren't full on fertile anymore, when riding the dick train that long and hard, sooner or later the baby gravy finds its way home lmao
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 03:12 PM
4

Does a paternity test not invalidate this bullshit? Could prove she was cheating at the same time...
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 03:11 PM
5

Damn, why do us guys simp like that? I can honestly say I've never done it, and never will. I do NOT understand that mentality. Makes our whole gender look weak and pathetic. GD tho, she must be smokin' hot to get that much simping. Too bad she's probably straight up vile on the inside and that usually shows itself pretty quick.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 03:10 PM
9

what kind of Maury Povich backwards-ass bullshit is that? Can't you just demand a paternity test? Hell I'd pay for it myself out of pocket at that point. FAR cheaper in the end.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 03:07 PM
6

I really appreciate this post. Hoping/praying for the day my ex gets her come-uppance. But she's so private, even if it happens, I'll probably never know about it. But I can dream at least lmao...
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 03:07 PM
1

Honestly, plan for the worst, hope for the best. But keep that hope in check because in all likelihood she will lawyer up and "family law" (I use that term loosely) attorneys who represent women these days KNOW the playbook. And their playbook will turn your ex against you in ways you probably can't imagine. I wish I had my 2 day custody trial on video so I could show you what my ex became. It's astonishing. As for the money, I am stone cold broke but I can say that once you actually FREE from t…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 03:04 PM
3

List your height as 6ft 😂
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 07:10 PM
3

Put some distance between you and her. And if the sex is mind blowing enough to keep her around, turn her into an FWB 😈
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 07:02 PM
3

Holy crap, like the other guys said don't walk run! And then something interesting happened... I noticed some commonalities between your girlfriend and my girlfriend. Obsession with bravo/reality shows, bossiness, sounds like she loves to fight. Get the hell out while you can! My girl also has some pretty amazing traits which balance it out, but s*** just those few things in common made me flinch a little. I already know what I have to do, just hard to do it when you're stone broke from a nasty …
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 07:01 PM
2

Another thing, a lot of guys here mention the gray rock method. I can assure you it works, my ex-wife did the same thing to me. Basically you're going to take yourself out of the equation when it comes to responding to her. Be blunt, short-worded, and as uninteresting as possible. Make her be bored with you. Narcissists are energy vampires, stop feeding her!
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 06:54 PM
2

OP if you are reading all these comments, this man's second paragraph is the full on God honest truth. Your wife is gone. The monster you're dealing with now is worse than you could ever imagine. She's your enemy, don't forget that. Don't give any ground, don't give any resources, dig in your heels and prepare to stay that way for a while!
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 06:53 PM
1

Good on you. Financial hell is the real deal though. It crept up on me months after the finalization of our divorce. I was fighting with blinders on, terrified of losing my kid because of the accusations that were being made. Used my attorney as a sounding board which they happily obliged to. About to file bankruptcy, that's how bad it is.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 06:51 PM
1

Thanks for this post. That last paragraph has me in tears.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 06:47 PM
3

Well you're wrong about one thing I can promise you that, I did read it, the whole thing. And I bet you a lot of other guys did too. For sure reason women get all the credit for being the nurturers and emotional ones, but it's us men who have the biggest hearts. Personally I have a huge one, even after having it stepped on over and over. First off, you're not alone with what you're going through. And you're in the right place. Hell, I was reading this at work preparing for lunch and had to leave…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 06:36 PM
1

"but also that I am the most likely to promote a positive relationship between them and their mother." Great advice. I tried this part in court but due to living so far away, I don't think it was enough. The judge simply wasn't willing to uproot my daughter, even for a better school. My ex might be a lot of things but she's really good at appearing to be the "stable one". My ADHD and other issues kind of make that difficult sometimes. That being said however, a full year after the divorce was fi…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 05:36 PM
2

Dude sorry I just saw this (on my 3rd reddit account now due to a stalking ex so I miss a lot). I am SO GLAD you have a plan! WHO CARES if it has some flaws? You will work them out as you go along. Honestly I am surprised I care this much, hell my ex spent years telling me what a narcissist I am and I never care for others, yet I feel a genuine sense of happiness from reading this. Anyways, you have the basis of a plan. That's enough in my book, just keep dragging yourself towards that goal and …
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 05:29 PM
1

I like that idea, might be open to it one day. I'm sure my current GF would be thrilled as she currently KNOWS I am 100% against ever getting remarried or having more kids (vasectomy soon, and she saw almost everything my ex put me/us through). But I live in a state that has no common law marriage, its a state issued certificate or nothing. So a private ceremony through a church or friends/family would work pretty well. Can't be fucked over in divorce, and can't get her pregnant. If down the lin…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 07:24 PM
1

The wisdom of youth lmao
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 07:16 PM
1

How is this a thing? Gotta be a joke right, I mean what woman would agree to that lmao.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 07:14 PM
2

I was paying $2k a month to my ex for ONE young daughter before finally getting it recalculated and ultimately being waived for a few years as part of our settlement. Now she tells my 5 year old that she's broke apparently (according to my kid). She also tells her things like "your dad stole my jewelry" and "your dad doesn't love us anymore which is why he left. Nevermind the fact that she basically threw me out and that the jewelry I "stole" was the engagement ring which had my mothers heirloom…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 05:27 PM
3

Need to appeal and hopefully get another (younger) judge - not sure if you can request that or not. But yeah, getting primary custody and having the judge waive your child support is garbage. Here in NC it's all done by a formula. The judges rarely ever deviate but honestly... it's probably an older judge who follows the "old ways" and you got screwed over for having a cock and two balls.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 05:24 PM
3

Yeah this guy is my hero. Kinda jealous tbh but not really, nothing but respect!!
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 05:22 PM
1

I couldn't get 50/50. I wanted and still want it but ex knows by now she left me completely broke and there's no way for me to fight her in court. My current GF thinks that if I moved back closer to my daughter/ex (20-30 mins away or closer) that I could definitely win 50/50 in court. Except I would either need pro bono representation or go in alone without another attorney. Either way I can't afford the cost of living in the city (one of the main reasons I am out in the country now) but it's th…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 05:21 PM
3

Love this reply. Good parenting does not make one a simp! It's something I'm also having to learn. Except I've gotten WAY past the point where I'd still want to fuck her. Got to that point while still married if I'm being honest :D
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 05:14 PM
1

My current GF used to be like that. She got cheated on multiple times by guys before me though so it kind of makes sense. It's gotten heaps better in the almost 2 years we've been dating. I see both sides, but still it sucks when you've never cheated and feel like you have to walk on egg shells. I'd NEVER put up with crazy shit like surveillance though. She went through my phone once and only once - put a HARD stop to that shit.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 09:01 PM
2

This guy... his heart might be in the right place but he's not grounded in the same reality you and I seem to be in. Which is fine, all of our situations are unique. It's not always as simple as putting your head down, finding a solution, and working towards it. Some people want to chalk up their own success (and everyone elses failures) to motivation and effort - automatically assuming the strugglers are struggling due to laziness or being inept. A lot of times it's situations that resulted in …
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 08:46 PM
1

Dude I hear that! I have about 25k attorney fee debt left myself. Probably just going to let it go to collections- really tired working my ass off to be so broke that my GF has to pick up the tab the one time a month we eat out. Fucking blood sucking attorneys. Your situation sounds tough I don't envy you at all. Plus if you have depression (i do) it makes taking action and especially maintaining course, at LEAST 500% harder.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 08:41 PM
1

This, 100%. I am in another relationship myself now but if the ex somehow was able to get away with moving further than an hour or two away, I'd drop everything and get closer. Kids first, they're the only remotely stable metric to measure progress by in a divorce (if you have kids obviously. If you don't it all comes down to $$).
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 03:53 PM
2

I'd do all of the above in his situation and find a way to wind up within 15 minutes of the kids. No further than an hour. No matter how cheaply I had to live even if I had to bum couches and sleep in my car or whatever I could find. Show those kids you care and let the rest sort itself out. That would be a HUGE deal to the kids seeing their dad show up so far away and learning he had no plans to leave. Plus it would show your ex that you can't be bullied out of the kids lives. Man I hope we hea…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 03:51 PM
3

"My family stopped calling because all I ever wanted to talk about was getting my kids back." That right there shows you who you rfamily is. If they were really there for you and loved you as family, then that fight would be their fight. I feel you bro I've been in a similar situation with family. Eventually you realize you're better off not sharing your life with them. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 03:48 PM
2

Thats why it pays to be an old fat dad! Bwahahahaah
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 03:46 PM
4

Smart man. Wish I had that laser focus. Took me a long time to get past "how do i fuck the ex over, how do i fuck the ex over" versus just putting that laser pin point focus on my kiddo. But she did some things that earned that loathing and I'll probably never get over it. Which is fine, keeps me grounded in the reality of who women really are at the end of the day (at least that one in particular...)
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 03:45 PM
4

Wish I could see my daughter tonight to give her something special but I had to give her back to her mom at the start of the week (last weekend was mine) so of course, as usual, her mom gets to spoil her and keep winning her over pretending to be super mom. I've had one holiday in over 2 years now...
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 03:43 PM
2

I will meditate on your words here today and use them to constantly remind myself that victory is possible!
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 03:36 PM
0

wish my ex would just dip out for the streets. shes still too busy pretending to be super mom. hoping one of these days she shows her true colors and fucks up royally enough that I can go for full custody. I see my kid 4 days every two weeks and the other 10 I miss the shit out of her. It SUCKS!
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 03:34 PM
4

Great post! Once I get financially right side up again, I'll be celebrating right along side you. For now it's the grind, gotta dig outta this hole!
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 03:29 PM
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