| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Married young and building resentmentGive counseling a shot but it sounds like she’s checked out already. Counseling only works when both want it to work. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/26 02:44 PM |
| 1 | How did you all deal with betrayal?Yes this is the norm, my ex also accused me of abuse at the end. I assume all the women around her told her to say these things. Her sister did it many times and will probably do it again, the new guy just doesn’t know it yet. She took her kids away from their father and cheated on him. He shot himself in a parking lot. I contemplated doing the same. They really are all the same. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/26 03:04 PM |
| 1 | Mother in law won't stop accusing me of abuse. Can't take much moreWomen teach other women to do this. Women also have an incentive thanks to the courts. Lawyer now. That your stbx allows it means she was never a good person to begin with. Everything was just a show. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/26 02:48 PM |
| 1 | 20+ years of marriage, last year was tough, now found out about infidelityExactly push for primary custody, when one person breaks the contract you gotta go for the throat. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/26 12:45 AM |
| 1 | Grace?At least you set boundaries and didn’t just leave on a perceived whim like most of us get | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/07/26 06:01 AM |
| 4 | How did you all deal with betrayal?Not well, it affects my relationships with everyone. I believed in her so strongly that when she betrayed me I mentally broke. The one person that I thought would be constant in my life just gone. To find out that she lied about everything for YEARS. And I just feel gross because had she just been honest I wouldn’t have been intimate with her. I wouldn’t have wasted time money and energy. I just feel violated. Haven’t felt safe to date and I wouldn’t want to hurt someone else with my trauma. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/07/26 12:22 AM |
| 3 | Seeking advice from divorced menSexual incompatibility was the big one for me, that and her lying about it or lying about losing feelings. Wasn’t anything I did. I held the course and held to my vows because that’s what a good person does. To me it was childish and stupidity on her part. There was no new information. She knew exactly what she was getting and wasted all that for what? | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/06/26 10:48 PM |
| 4 | Alimony for life? Is that a real thing? Is anybody unfortunate enough to be in that group right now?Yeah personally I would give 100% to the person who didn’t fuck everything up but it is what it is. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/06/26 05:33 PM |
| 5 | Wife forcing vasectomySome fake Christians, like they would be super active at church but be destroying lives at home. Super lame people. Performative. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/06/26 01:55 PM |
| 1 | Mediation vs lawyer — what actually worked better for you?I wasn’t given a choice | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/06/26 01:18 PM |
| 11 | Wife forcing vasectomyExactly it’s a final fuck you before divorce | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/06/26 01:12 PM |
| 5 | Wife forcing vasectomyMy ex in laws tried to get everyone their daughters dated to do a vasectomy. I hate them all now but fuck that shit, they asked me in my 20’s. Like hello how does that benefit me? I wanted a family. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/06/26 01:08 PM |
| 6 | I think this was my 1st and last marriageNever again. This has destroyed my trust in people as a whole. I’m just here until the clock runs out. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/26 08:33 PM |
| 7 | She wanted 80/20 custody… now she wants to reconcile after everything came out and I’m messed up over itShe wants your resources not you | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/26 03:22 PM |
| 2 | Relationship with in lawsThey 100% supported fucking me over, they’re dead to me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/26 09:43 AM |
| 6 | Was the divorce your fault?Nope, did everything I could. She put in more effort to destroy us and everything we built than she did in the marriage. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/04/26 07:58 PM |
| 4 | Would you invest more on your second marriage? Why?Nope, she destroyed what little faith I had in humanity. I don’t trust anyone to do right by me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/04/26 08:28 PM |
| 9 | Anyone’s standards for looks go up post divorce?It’s been almost 4 years, I haven’t been able to open myself up to anyone. Personally I’ve done well looks wise. Down 46 pounds and 7 inches off my waist. The only thing that has changed for me is my standards in morality and character. My old preferences are now requirements and no one meets the standard. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 06:25 PM |
| 3 | anyone divorced due to lack of intimacyIt was definitely one of the main reasons. I think I could have stuck it out if it was a medical issue but she just kept lying to me saying she was working on it. If she had left me at 6 months I’d be hurt and confused but we were together over 13 years. I know I should have left when the problem started but I wanted to be the good husband … the person that she has become is frankly scum. Short of bringing a child into the world your vows are the most sacred things in the world and she broke the… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 12:38 AM |
| 1 | Update, 1 Year LaterNah they would deserve it even if I would never do it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 09:59 PM |
| 14 | I found my ex wife in sexually explicit promotional materials for her jobYou’re not mourning her but the illusion of who you thought she was. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/01/26 11:29 AM |
| 2 | How to forgiveYou don’t. It shouldn’t be forgiven. You can ignore that person, a dime a dozen. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/26 05:41 PM |
| 5 | When does the numbness and anger subside?I would go ahead and find them a loving family. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/12/25 10:55 PM |
| 6 | When does the numbness and anger subside?It’s been 3+ years, still hasn’t gone away. I just try to do things and not think about it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/12/25 10:38 PM |
| 1 | Signed the settlement decree today… 24 years marriedMine too. I did more in the 2 years after than we had in 13 years together. It’s amazing what you can do when someone’s not hamstringing you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/11/25 08:00 AM |
| 14 | Everything collapsed at once and my wife just asked for a divorceStep 1 get her out of your life. A person that would leave you when you need them the most is an awful person. It sucks that she lied to you for this long. Get in the gym, let out all your emotions and use it. It’s a reflection of her poor character not a reflection of you. Take care of you. Emotionally, Mentally, Physically. You can’t help the others if you don’t start with yourself. Get into your hobbies. Find new friends, a new community. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/11/25 02:26 AM |
| 8 | I’m not a bad man…They don’t think like we do. Consistency, Fidelity, Reciprocation, Integrity. These are foreign words to them. It’s always what we can do for them and not what we can do for each other. When they push us to the brink and fully grind us down; when we are nothing but a husk trying to prove our love… there is another ready to take our place. They don’t care. They don’t feel empathy. It’s a joke to them. They played us all along. They could have just stayed away. But their temporary gratification wa… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/11/25 04:42 PM |
| 6 | How did you guys develop any appetite for intimacy after the divorce? I’m afraid that my thoughts of perpetual celibacy may be unhealthy.I’d rather not go through that again, probably celibacy for me too | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/10/25 03:02 AM |
| 1 | Would you expect an ex to share that she has a new partner with you?I don’t expect anything from her. She’s already shown me she’s not a good person. She’s shown me that her words mean nothing and never did. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/10/25 10:51 AM |
| 11 | Marriage is love. Divorce is business.Mine didn’t want to be happy. It was that simple. No amount of do better would have fixed anything. My mom is the same way. She’s actually happier when she gets to be angry at my dad. It was actually me pointing out a major issue that my ex repeatedly chose not to fix while stringing me along saying she was working on it. Narrator “She was not working on it”. The end came when she realized that if she left me she would never have to work on herself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/09/25 07:33 AM |
| 11 | Weekends suck. What's your best post divorce moment?I dropped 40 pounds | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/09/25 02:02 PM |
| 3 | For those that were betrayed….How long did the shock take to wear off?Thanks bud | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/09/25 07:50 PM |
| 12 | For those that were betrayed….How long did the shock take to wear off?Well it’s been over 3 years now and still going, I’ll never understand the why. I try to stay busy so I don’t think about it. I cried myself to sleep for 9 months straight and intermittent after that, had waking terrors for 2 years until I found the right meds. I still don’t function the same, I have a hard time being in public as I have extreme trust issues towards everyone now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/09/25 10:14 AM |
| 4 | How did you all cope during a divorce? Feel absolutely broken.Keep busy, treat yourself with kindness, take things at your own pace. The pain doesn’t go away but it does start to numb. I got into the gym. Kept telling myself the pain of exercise was nothing compared to the pain I already felt and dropped 40 pounds. Try to positively affect yourself. Put the energy you used to put in them into taking care of yourself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/08/25 06:25 PM |
| 2 | Does anyone else find it difficult to want to have sex due to their spouse’s infidelity?Same here | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/08/25 04:16 AM |
| 8 | Missing my wifeI miss the woman I married not the person that destroyed my family. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/08/25 01:11 PM |
| 8 | Tried to reconcile... learned my lesson.She’s toxic as fuck man, you could do so much better than her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/08/25 04:41 AM |
| 5 | Does couple / marriage counseling work?Only works if both people put in effort, what do you think are the odds of that? | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/07/25 12:57 AM |
| 1 | Good gym routine for post-divorce?If you’re short on time I’d recommend doing incline press with dumbbells. It’ll tighten up your chest and arms and creates muscle mass which in turn increases the amount of calories your body uses naturally each day. Also change what you eat. Lean meats like chicken and fish are great and you need 85 grams of protein per 100 pounds per day. Protein and healthy fats like nuts or avocado also make you feel more full. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/07/25 09:42 PM |
| 1 | Does Filing for Divorce “To Teach Them a Lesson” Ever Actually Work? Do People Really Come Back?100% | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/25 04:25 PM |
| 1 | How did you press on; when they rewrote truth and turned everyone against you?Well basically anyone who is ok with what she did aren’t good people anyway and their opinions are worth less than nothing. They all lack character and you’re better off without people like them in your life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/25 09:25 PM |
| 2 | Trauma from divorce holding me back.In that situation right now except I haven’t tried any dating and don’t want to. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/25 05:54 PM |
| 4 | How do other men manage their anger without becoming violent?By understanding that none of what happened was my fault and that is was only by me allowing bad behavior on their part that allowed the farce to continue. By understanding I wasn’t the lucky one. By understanding she’s probably still better than 70% of the population which does not bode well. Most people just suck. It is what it is and I’m not in that group. Maybe one day I’ll meet a decent person but it hasn’t happened yet. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/06/25 12:58 AM |
| 12 | I am a victim of marriage fraud.Dude you need a lawyer yesterday | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/06/25 08:36 AM |
| 9 | How was she able to move on so quickly and be so callous when I miss her everyday and can’t move forwardBecause the person holding the knife in your back doesn’t hurt as much as you. People like that aren’t people. She’s just showing you how she felt all along. The only love was the love you held for the person she pretended to be. Sounds like yours left at the same juncture as mine, right when you both needed to buckle down for a bit and save for a future. Remember a man would gladly support his family but a woman only supports herself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/06/25 11:46 PM |
| 12 | Guys who've had the worst divorce, do you regret meeting her?Yeah I do. I did everything right one step at a time overcoming life’s hurdles and building up for our future. I held myself to high standards morally and took care of her the best I knew how. I never dated around, never had a “slut phase 🤮” just a loyal loving hardworking partner. And she fucking destroyed everything I’ve ever worked for. The divorce drained every penny I made during our 13 years together. Had I not met her I would have a finished degree and a house mostly paid for. I wouldn’t … | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/05/25 12:39 PM |
| 1 | Sleep and the nightmares2 years later and medication to help | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/25 03:24 PM |
| 1 | Resentment Process, Walkaway WifeSame here | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/25 03:05 PM |
| 5 | Why did you marry her/stay with her?I loved her. I went through my life one step at a time, worked on becoming not broke so we could live together, worked on being not broke so we could get married and then was working on not being broke so we could get a house together. After that it would have been kids etc. I still don’t know why things ended. In the end I stayed because that’s the person I am and the vows I said. Character and honor are important traits to me. I likely would have stood by her despite a dead bedroom if everythi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/02/25 05:07 PM |
| 8 | Did you cheat on your wife leading to divorce?No, and I never would. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/01/25 12:08 PM |
| 1 | How did you deal with living together right before the physical separation?I slept on the floor in the office with a blanket wondering what the fuck happened to the person I married. She called in family members and robbed the place. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/12/24 01:31 PM |
| 5 | Did your wife file and not tell you?I found out from her paralegal via email | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/11/24 01:15 AM |
| 3 | Has Divorce Prompted You to Reexamine and/or Change Your Core Beliefs About Life and Purpose?I don’t think I can date. I’m too broken for that. It wouldn’t be fair to the other person. I think my pain would only bring them down. I don’t want to hurt someone else. Not even sure where to begin anyway. I’ve only dated one person in my life. I’m seeing a psychiatrist. Got an appointment in a few hours. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/24 01:23 PM |
| 15 | Has Divorce Prompted You to Reexamine and/or Change Your Core Beliefs About Life and Purpose?I used to work extremely hard believing it was my duty to provide and that my loyalty to one was what defined me. I had no identity besides so and so’s husband but I was happy believing all that. It gave me drive and purpose and all I needed was a little love and support to keep going. What she did largely broke me because not only did she shatter our marriage but she broke my identity. My purpose. My drive. I no longer have dreams I strive for because there is only one thing I ever wanted. I’ve… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/24 02:11 AM |
| 5 | Still strugglingHere for you bud | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/10/24 11:20 PM |
| 10 | How long did it take you to get over a divorce?I don’t think I will ever be “over it”. Everything used to be good if not great. All those memories i thought i loved. Turns out a large chunk of them she was faking and just using and pretending to be working on things. All a lie. I supported her through everything and she left once she got some certifications. Are all women like this? Do vows mean nothing to them? They do to me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/24 08:15 PM |
| 1 | What did you learn about yourself during and post divorce?Same | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/10/24 08:19 PM |
| 3 | (46). Hey all. Aside from cheating, when did you know you were done in the marriage?It was me too, just my own moral code I guess. There’s no way I would have cheated on her. I really did love her. Unfortunately I’m loyal to a fault. And I hurt myself, I played my part. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/10/24 02:54 AM |
| 10 | What did you learn about yourself during and post divorce?I learned to set boundaries. I learned that I can make measurable meaningful change. Most of my depression was because I poured myself into someone else instead of into me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/10/24 12:14 AM |
| 12 | (46). Hey all. Aside from cheating, when did you know you were done in the marriage?When I expressed basic needs and I was met with contempt. And doubly when she said that me asking for any intimacy felt pressuring and rapey. We were together 13 years and I got to the point I only asked a handful of times a year. It was that bad. Not even hugs or handholding. She had already told me years previously that I wasn’t allowed to initiate. Compared to most people I was a fucking saint. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/10/24 03:53 PM |
| 19 | Positive stories?I lost 30 pounds and kept it off 7 inches off my waist. I’m wearing a smaller size now than I did in high school. I’ve quit smoking weed. I stopped drinking sodas. I joined a social night cycling group that is fun. Mentally I don’t want to kill myself anymore. But I still struggle every day. I’m not happy. I know I didn’t deserve the discard but I do deserve to take care of myself. I did kneeboarding for the first time. I was terrified but I did it. At some point I want to skydive. Always been a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/10/24 05:44 PM |
| 4 | I finally understand why people self harmYeah mine kept stringing me along even while separated. She hit me with the I’m not in love with you the day after her paralegal emailed me to let me know she filed. The entire time she made it seem like we could reconcile. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/10/24 05:27 PM |
| 3 | I finally understand why people self harmExcept for the kid I’m in the same boat. The betrayal is with me every day. Because that’s what it is. The fact that she felt this way for years and didn’t bother to try to fix it or communicate appropriately. I’m right at divorce, we’ve been apart over 2 years. The only time I’ve felt ok is when I’ve been distracted. Work, hobbies and exercise. It hasn’t exactly gotten easier but I’ve already cried so much that I don’t do it as much. Still it took a year and a half to get to that point. I still… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/10/24 03:47 PM |
| 2 | Couples Counseling…has it ever worked for anyone?Helped briefly but she kept missing sessions. Later on when we really needed it she refused. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/24 12:57 AM |
| 2 | Wife said she wants a divorce, but won’t make it fully realJust want to say good luck bud. Unfortunately there are people out there that are quite frankly broken on the inside. Protect your kid. Don’t let her leave the state with the kid. Get a lawyer. I’m sorry this has happened to you. Some people are just not good people. Get a therapist and lean on your friends. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/09/24 04:14 PM |
| 7 | My wife left me and I’m struggling with understanding why.Man that’s a play by play. In laws had the same structure and my wife left when I started using boundaries. I didn’t want to be a lap dog and her dad definitely is. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/09/24 08:05 PM |
| 2 | Dating a legally separated womanJust be careful, you never know if she’s telling the truth and even if she is the ex might not take it well. Personally I wouldn’t. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/09/24 04:52 PM |
| 4 | Midlife crisis divorced men in here?...Please help me understandThankfully mine was less complicated with no kids or house but my wife did the same to me. We didn’t really fight, I worked hard and tried to make her every day better while doing whatever I had to at work to keep us stable. We went on trips and appeared happy. I thought we were going to buy a house and have kids next. She revealed that she wasn’t happy and wanted to separate. Refused couples counseling left and ghosted me. Never got a good answer as to why. I’m heartbroken as I truly thought sh… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/09/24 10:25 AM |
| 1 | Wife left me after 6 years of marriageYep, I wish I had seen it | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/09/24 03:41 PM |
| 1 | Wife left me after 6 years of marriageYeah that sums it, I was with mine 13 years. DM me if you care to talk. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/09/24 03:39 PM |
| 2 | What to doAre you me? | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/09/24 03:27 PM |
| 1 | What to doMy wife waited until after divorce was filed to tell me she didn’t love me and hadn’t for my entire marriage. At the time of separation and during she pulled the same crap. Assume the worst because it’s probably correct. She’s messing with you going hot and cold. Don’t let her. She has indicated you are no longer a priority. Act accordingly. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/09/24 07:38 AM |
| 8 | Did anyone end up being Happy their Wife Divorced them?Although I still believe it was almost entirely her fault and really was and could have been something special I acknowledge she was never going to treat me well. She constantly put me down. She stopped being affectionate a long long time ago and it declined significantly even before marriage. I guess marriage was a mistake too. I would make sacrifices constantly to make her day a little better but it always seemed like she went out of her way to hurt me. She never treated me like I was somethin… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/24 01:26 PM |
| 1 | "Happier After Divorce"I don’t know if I’m happier or not. I lost my best friend. What used to be the light of my life. I lost my cat, my nights cuddling, my movie nights. I lost the one I liked to share new things with. I loved the shine in her eyes when I showed her something she didn’t know existed that she needed in her life. I liked her stupid laugh. I do actually get out now which is an improvement from then. I go cycling at night with the wheels all lit up and music and good conversation in my ears. I work out … | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/09/24 05:22 AM |
| 2 | SuicidalRachel Grae- The best | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/09/24 09:54 PM |
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