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fencingmom1972 Archive

View 0 posts and 42 comments by fencingmom1972 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I don’t know if she’s required to disclose her short term FCP since that’s basically the same as child care during her custody time, but unless she has someone local who can keep the kids’ lives stable (ie. same school, friends, activities, etc.) for her long term FCP, you should be the person that gets the kids for long deployments, as long as you’re fully separated from the military (not reserves or guard). You may try contacting her command to get the details of her FCP. I don’t know if they …
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/22 03:14 PM
2

She won’t have much say in her duty station. She may have been made promises that her command could not keep. The needs of the military come first. Do you get the kids in the summer?
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/22 02:59 PM
1

Every time you’re asked a question, answer with the link to Google or YouTube and nothing else. She’ll eventually get the message (and get her info. from someplace else).
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/22 02:19 PM
1

Do you have kids that are still in school? Would she move shortly after they graduate? Have you received your share of the equity in other assets? Are you planning to rent for a certain period of time before buying a house? Is your ex wife generally responsible with money (makes payments on time)? If the answer to all of these is yes, then determine a reasonable end date and make that the must re-finance or sell date. For me, it was three years into the future, a few months after my daughter gra…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/22 05:57 PM
-1

If she’s already overwhelmed and stressed out with a five year old while married, imagine what her life will be like with two young kids as a single parent and how it will affect them. Probably the best you’ll be able to get is 50/50, so your kids will still be with her half of the time, except now she’s doing it all on her own and possibly with added financial stress on top of it. You won’t be there to run interference and step in if needed. I don’t normally advocate staying together for the ki…
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/22 01:40 PM
2

Child support pays half of all of the other costs of raising children besides childcare and medical. Housing, utilities, food, gas for the car, haircuts, clothes, shoes, school fees and school lunches, extracurricular activities if you aren’t already splitting them, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/22 12:05 AM
1

That would be age appropriate for a teenager or older child, but all a six year old is going to hear is that “mom (or dad) won’t keep any promises they make to me”. We all know that the type of relationship and dependence of a child on a parent is very different than the interdependent relationship between two spouses. Because one breaks a promise to a spouse doesn’t mean that they will also do the same to their child. It’s important for children to know that they can rely on and trust their par…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/22 03:15 PM
1

Is your wife the higher earner? Will you be receiving any child support? I don’t know how your country is, but does she have a retirement account that you are entitled to part of, that you could waive in lieu of the 60K in equity that you would owe her? When we divorced, I had just gone back to full time work at $46K a year. I wanted the house for the kids, so a deal was struck that I would have 3 years to refinance the mortgage into my name only (getting at least our oldest through high school …
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/22 03:20 AM
1

You should consider what you’ll pay in rent (anywhere) between the time you sell your house and buy another one. That amount will affect how much you’ll save on the price of your new home, plus don’t forget to factor in the rise in mortgage interest rates between now and then. You could invest that cash and make a modest return in a year while renting, but nothing close to what you’d have received in investment income even a year or two ago. Waiting for the housing market to plateau may not give…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 04:41 AM
1

And I would posit that it’s not a problem that needs solving except in the eyes of some controlling non-custodial parents. If the child is being properly cared for, then the support money is being used in an appropriate manner. If not, then that is a different problem for which there is a different solution, ie. CPS. Receipts won’t fix a neglectful parent situation.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 12:46 AM
2

Yes, and those companies also have employees whose job is accounting and handling reimbursements. Those charges are also charged separately to a company credit card and any personal expenses incurred at the same time are paid by other means. Building rent and utilities are solely business expenses, unlike a mortgage or rent and utilities for the child’s primary home. I deal with this at my company and have also run my own businesses and handled all of the accounting. No way would I ask a parent …
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/22 02:09 PM
1

Have you ever had a flex spending account for child care or health care? It’s a pain in the ass and requires the money to be spent before reimbursement. How are you supposed to pay half the mortgage or ⅓ of the electric bill with a special spending card when banks and utilities rarely accept credit or debit cards for those expenses? Is the custodial parent supposed to make and purchase two orders of groceries and make sure that kiddo only eats what was covered by child support? How about haircut…
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/22 01:00 PM
2

You also realize that in order to be reimbursed, the custodial parent would have to have the money already to pay the rent/mortgage, utilities, groceries, car payment, child care, kids activities, etc., right? Kids would be more likely to go without because the custodial parent needs that money first to purchase and pay for those things, not wait for reimbursement.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 11:20 PM
1

If the child is neglected by the custodial parent to the point that her basic needs are not being met, there are legal ways to handle this.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 11:17 PM
1

You’ll have to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that she cheated and also prove that you immediately separated as soon as you found out about the affair. Also, keep in mind that the legal fees to go this route may be much more than paying her a limited amount of alimony for a shorter period of time. These are things that you two really need to discuss and agree on before making it official with lawyers in front of the judge, or the only winners here will be your lawyers. Since you have children,…
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 08:32 PM
0

Your ex will be ordered to contribute a portion of her income towards child support and your daughter’s expenses. How much more she makes beyond her obligations to your daughter is not your business.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 08:15 PM
2

In my state, out of pocket health care expenses are split according to income. Don’t forget that she’ll need driver training, a car, and insurance also.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 02:47 PM
5

Have you been making any payments towards the amount that you owe? If so, that may be enough for the judge to allow you to continue the payments.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 02:50 AM
5

You could sell yours and then no longer have the rental income affecting your child support calculation, but don’t forget that she can do the same (sell her property) and then you’d be back in the same boat.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/22 06:00 PM
2

Is she on the deed or the mortgage? Do not leave the house until you are ordered to sell it or move out, if it comes to that. Where would you and your daughter stay if you left? If the house is truly yours alone, she’ll have to be the one to find other accommodations. If marital funds were used for the down payment, mortgage payments, or upkeep on the house, she may be entitled to have some of that returned to her, but a lawyer would know better. Good luck to you!
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/22 08:11 PM
1

Again, it was a gift. Have you asked other people to return gifts you’ve given to them, or just your ex?
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/22 05:35 AM
0

It was a gift and it’s considered bad form to ask for a gift to be returned. Jewelry is only worth anything when it’s sold new at the big jewelry stores anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 11:41 PM
1

Do you work away from home in two week blocks, or are you home every other week? It makes sense for the children to be with the parent who is available to care for them at the time. Since she’s a teacher and (I’m assuming) has summers off, you may want to take most weekends in the summer and then they’re with her during the summer weeks when you work. Then alternate weeks during the school year and you take additional weekends during the school year to work it out to be close to 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/22 07:43 PM
1

The IRS May not care what the divorce decree says, but the local court granting the divorce will. It’s possible to negotiate who can claim the children (or split the claim or go EOY for one child) no matter who has the most overnights.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/22 07:40 PM
1

The right thing to do is have your boys test right before you pick them up. They will have been actively exposed since before Tuesday, when she tested positive, so if they have it, a test Friday afternoon will show it. Anyone that’s positive stays with mom to rest and recover and isolate. Anyone that’s negative goes to your house to give them two days reprieve from being even further exposed. If you were a single father (and I mean that if you didn’t have the option to send them to your ex’s), y…
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/22 07:32 PM
1

If you’ve been the primary custodial parent of three kids for five years, if you really wanted her back and she were amenable to it, you’d already be back together, because it’s difficult as heck. I’ve been doing it for 6 ½ years (three kids also) and while there are days I’d consider selling my soul for a little extra help or a second set of hands, one option that is never on the table is going back to my ex, even if he asked. I don’t think your GF understands that even if the door were to be o…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/22 04:58 AM
1

I can see how a difference in custody schedule could cause problems, but your GF is also a mother herself. If she didn’t have 50/50, she’d be in the same boat you’re in. I think with that knowledge should come some grace and understanding on her part. Kids are only kids for a short while.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/22 04:28 AM
2

Kids must have their phones turned off or left with a parent the entire time they are in the testing center. I agree that this is a current girlfriend issue, not an ex issue. Those were pretty standard coparenting texts. I personally get annoyed by any phone making noise and especially when I get responses to group texts flowing in. Mine is set on silent always and I expect most other people are the same. If OP hasn’t already, putting the phone on silent is the first thing I’d try. That may be e…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/22 04:21 AM
1

Do you have to be on call 24/7 for work? Are you being paid for 24 hours of work a day? If not, you need to set some boundaries with work. I didn’t see an issue with the text exchange with your ex except that she was a little more chatty than necessary about her medical issues unless they somehow impact her ability to drive. Of course you most likely already knew that your daughter wasn’t allowed to access her phone during the SAT, so any changes to plans would had to happen between the two of y…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/22 04:10 AM
1

Kids taking tests like the SAT must have their phones off the entire time, even during breaks. If they’re caught looking at their phones, that test is thrown out, so no, the daughter could not have answered a text about lunch while she was taking the SAT.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/22 04:03 AM
1

She can give up an interest in your retirement or savings (or some other asset) equal to the amount she’d need to buy you out of your half of the home’s equity. Then put a refinance clause in there that within a certain period of time, she has to refinance into her name only. My ex was terrible at finances and I certainly didn’t want any part of his one retirement account that was earning less than 1% when my own were earning in the 14% range. The house was more valuable to me anyway, both finan…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/22 04:37 AM
3

Whomever moved away should be the one to pay for the flights. If you decide to split it, the parent that is receiving the child should pay for the flight to their home, and vice versa. That way you’re not relying on the other parent to book and pay for the flight back to your home.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/22 01:22 PM
1

I’ll go one step further and say that if she’s not encouraging you to spend time alone with your kids and even sometimes offering to stay with one of your daughters while you take the other one out for one on one time, there’s much more trouble ahead. What happens if you want time for just yourself? Would she encourage that or fight with you about it? Even married parents should make time for one on one time with their kids, without the other parent. This isn’t any different.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/22 10:19 PM
0

You’re forgetting that her tax rate will go up also and she will lose half the tax exemptions as well. In my state, income is looked at for the previous three years and if there has been a fluctuation due to job circumstances, that is taken into account when determining income for child support.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 10:33 AM
0

You can’t account for child support in determining her monthly income or lost income from 12 years of not advancing her career and missed pay raises because she stayed home to raise kids. That has the potential to leave her supporting three people on less money ($20K income difference-$6K in CS= $14K) than you have available to support just yourself. $14K divided by 12 months is $1166 per month. The extra $400 per year is likely to cover income taxes that she’ll have to pay on alimony. Ask her, …
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/22 07:46 PM
1

The way it reads is that you’re on the hook for 50% of the payment for five years if she can’t refinance. If she can refinance, you’re on the hook for 100% of the payment, which doesn’t make sense but that’s what is in your order, apparently. This sounds like a marital debt division. That marital debt owed from one spouse to another doesn’t go away just because the car is no longer owned by either one of the spouses. Your order addresses possession and transfer of title following divorce, but th…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/22 04:44 PM
2

Tax withholdings can be whatever they want. It’s just a way for your employer to know how much money to take out for taxes. You cannot file both as married and as head of household, but you can be married (but separated and living apart for at least six months) and still file head of household if you have more overnights with the children in that year. It’s separation that matters, not legal marriage status. Whomever has more overnights with the children is the parent who can also claim head of …
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/22 03:59 PM
1

She’ll need a notarized letter from you as well, giving permission for the trip, unless she has legal custody. If she has legal Custody she doesn’t need your signature for the passport anyway as she can apply for your daughter by herself. In the notarized letter will be the dates of travel and countries that she will be traveling to that you agreed to that you can use as proof of what you agreed to, if needed. You also don’t have to be present when the passport application is made. There is anot…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 07:43 PM
2

This one is non-hormonal.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/22 04:36 AM
2

Ask her to trade equal time for when you’re feeling better and document it. I wouldn’t want to deal with four kids under 10 either if I were that sick. Mention too that you don’t want the kids to get sick from whatever you have.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/22 11:30 PM
1

How old are your children?
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/22 05:21 PM
0

If you have two children and pay child support, have it put in the decree that she claims the older one each year and you claim the younger one each year. That way you both get a yearly tax break rather than getting one large tax break every other year. My ex husband is also required to be current on child support by Jan 31st each year or he loses the previous year’s tax deduction.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/22 08:06 PM
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