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festivelime Archive

View 0 posts and 70 comments by festivelime on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

You can get a free month Audible subscription. I highly recommend this book. I believe the PDF version is available online if you Google it, but I prefer audiobooks myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 03:19 AM
1

You could plan to merge them both like head tilt shocked face “oh sorry, I thought you were treating when you said you wanted to take me out, sure I can split.” and I presume he would backtrack and say “oh yes, yes, of course I’m taking you out” and pay. Still would warrant a block to me though after the lack of initiative. I’m glad you will be prepared for the worst. Now you can speak positive affirmations. You are a catch, he is going to be treating you to dinner because that’s what men do for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 02:48 AM
3

I’m the same way! Definitely conditioned to “equality” and I’m so grateful to this sub for the de-conditioning that did wonders for my life. There’s conflicting opinions on the response for if he asks you to split. Some say they would loudly pronounce “oh why you can’t afford it?” Some would say “oh I’m sorry I thought you were taking me out?” And smile and stare type of reaction. I’ve also seen (which is the route I would go) pay for your food, and block him on your way out the door. I’m not on…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 02:24 AM
6

Yes that should absolutely be your goal! Prior to FDS the “bill/paying” aspect would cause me so much anxiety. Just remember a true gentleman wouldn’t want you worrying about the check and will handle it smoothly. I never had this anxiety while dating with my now-fiancé because he pulls out his card without missing a beat and will hand it to the server without breaking conversation. Sometimes he pulls out his card and puts it down if the check hasn’t come and is ready to leave. Basically, he is …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 08:29 PM
5

It’s a long process of healing after having your life disrupted by a narcissist. I would like to suggest two books for you: Stop caretaking the borderline or narcissist: how to end the drama and get on with life- margalis fjelstad and Healing from a narcissistic relationship- margalis fjelstad. I wish you peace on your journey to healing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 02:58 AM
40

Thank you for sharing your story. Screaming our past traumas from the rooftop to warn other women is so important and hopefully as you move forward in life your wisdom will impact the women surrounding you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 05:55 AM
5

Ugh I couldn’t finish this show. I posted my alternate proposal script on the weekly discussion thread, but here’s how I think the show could have and SHOULD have went: The roles are reversed and Vanessa is the one who meets Noa in the bathroom. Noa swoops her up for the best night of her life, they become friends, and Noa helps Vanessa see how successful, beautiful, and great she is. It becomes a female empowerment show instead of the garbage it was. I hope one day Hollywood changes...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 07:06 PM
3

Omg I couldn’t even finish that show! I love Nat Kelley so I gave it a shot and kept thinking, wouldn’t it be better if the poor girlfriend who cringe-worthily proposed ended up going out with Noa, Noa shows her a great time, and the storyline goes in the way of a woman finding her value after pining over that loser for years. Sigh.. maybe someday Hollywood will change.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 03:09 PM
5

100% move on. Not only did his prior marriage not work out, but the fact that he’s comparing you to his ex means you’re bound for the same treatment. Don’t further waste your time, this guy sounds like a loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 05:59 PM
14

It’s Alexandra’s girly talk from YouTube!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 11:56 PM
1

No need to apologize for negativity. I am enjoying learning from you. The system is not in our favor. I absolutely love your article. You are a great writer, and had me glued to your story. If you’re comfortable with it, I’m going to share it with my grandmother. She had my mom out of wed-lock when she was 19 in the 60s (and the dad simply walked ever, never to be heard from again)! I think she can relate to being punished her entire life for it. She was fired from her job for being unwed. She i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 03:06 PM
1

I love what you are saying! Yes, short comments are not my specialty. I tend to rant and my mind just keeps rolling and potentially will go off on a tangent. Lol I think you have a really good point. Logistically and financially, it’s not possible for some women to go to work. I used to be a manager at a retail store where the starting pay was $8 and didn’t go up much (think $8.06 after one year of work). We struggled to retain competent employees. I lost sooo many talented, smart, driven, hard-…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 01:53 AM
3

I’m not sure I’m following exactly what you’re saying but it did stick out to me as something I have an opinion on. In my experience, almost all of the moms I know that are working from home have taken on the full burden of this new COVID world- teacher. They are extremely burned out, stressed. Their calls are interrupted because the kid wants a sandwich. They can’t focus on work because the kid has a question. I’ve had three moms leave either my team, or our company because the stress of managi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 04:41 PM
9

Wow, I had never thought of it that way. I bought a house “for a man,” as well. I was only 23, and I should have waited, but I was so ~in love~ I couldn’t wait to move in with my love-bombing ex after only dating 6 months. Lesson learned. It worked out in my favor though, because I had my name solely on my house.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 02:47 PM
2

You’re so right about wanting someone you can find endearing, and may be unconventional. It reminds me of my friend recently talking about how this guy was so attractive and I was kind of like, eh. Conventionally, he has movie star looks, but personally I am not attracted to that. It seems like too much work, like I could never be enough and would always doubt myself. I would rather someone quirky and fun, who gets my personality. I’m struggling with my looks lately too! Before quarantine I was …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 03:22 PM
2

Hi there, I remember your stories and you, and am SO proud of how far you’ve come! I would suggest de-activating Instagram and Facebook if you still have them, or you can just delete the app from your phone and take a little break. If you don’t want to do this, you should at least unfollow any “influencers” on Instagram, and hide people who you feel jealous of. I also would like you recommend you subscribing to r/instagramreality. If you aren’t already aware of the editing and trickery that goes…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 02:30 PM
2

Thanks for sharing! I think that’s super valid and realistic to only date someone with extremely similar political and social opinions. It certainly can become a source of contention in a relationship. I’ve tried to date people who had different opinions on even one or two issues, and even that turns the relationship into “you vs. them.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 04:13 PM
1

May I ask why libertarians are a no for you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 03:17 PM
2

Oh, and not cursing, ever! Even in your personal life, otherwise it may bleed into your professional life. Replacing the word “can” in a lot of situations that should be “may”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 02:51 PM
1

A few additions: I have trained myself to stop saying “gonna” and saying “going to” and “wanna” to “want to,” etc. It is an extremely hard habit to break and I’ve realized how heavily the word “gonna” is in everyone’s vocabulary. Taking time to annunciate helps my brain process into the proper words. Also, reading books > watching reality TV. If you do watch TV shows, choosing period pieces like Downton Abbey to watch. Hard habits to break, as well. I love my trash TV!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 02:48 PM
3

Thanks for your reply! I hope this is the case, but there’s no way to know. I think for now I’m going to listen and be there for her, and when she complains, I’ve been asking questions to make her evaluate the situation she is in and give perspective. I think as the holidays role around, he should be seriously considering a proposal, and if he doesn’t by their 10 year anniversary next year, I will be more vocal about her having to decide if that’s enough for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 12:52 PM
3

I really enjoyed dating someone without social media. I think it takes someone really mature to not need validation from others. I’m a snoop, so it was definitely harder to investigate. I still was able to google, and I also lurked on friends’ accounts. I agree with xoladybug, something could be potentially off though. Ex: them hiding their family, or another life. So, if something seems off, it probably is!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 12:29 PM
3

This is an amazing idea! She told me maybe two weeks ago that out of all of her friends, I’m the smartest when it comes to finances, so I don’t think she would even be offended! I can phrase it in a- congrats on graduating, planning for the future like I did way! I would love to hear all your thoughts, even the unpleasant ones. I am so completely obsessed with this (probably because COVID has put a dent in my hobbies) but also maybe because it’s not something I’m talking about openly. I don’t wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 04:09 PM
2

Nope! You are not missing anything, it’s absolutely insane. She has been in school and him working, so he owns the homes they’ve lived in. She never paid aside from utilities, and the plan was once she graduates, she will start paying on the mortgage and he will put her on the deed. Not the best idea, but at least she had some security in that case. So, when she said she is now paying, I was thinking he put her on as an owner. She said no, that she doesn’t want to be on it until he puts a ring o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 01:42 PM
2

Opening up to your close friends and family is a very important step in ending things. If you’re good at hiding your relationship, you’ll get little reality checks from family and friends. Once I started opening up, my friends and family supported me as I moved on. I had similar experience where it took me a very long time to break up with my ex-boyfriend, I would say fully two years to end it. I couldn’t put the pieces together, it was like I was always missing parts of information. Eventually,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 01:21 PM
1

You’re just coming out of a fog. It’s okay to be confused. You’ve been extremely manipulated for a long time by him, and it is going to take a long time to undue the damage he caused. You’re taking the right steps. You’ve been given the most valuable gift, the gift of awareness! I don’t consider this a dating sub as much as a support group for like-minded women. I hope you’ll stick around in an effort to undue your mindset. It helped me tons to recover from my past negative relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 01:06 PM
3

Follow up! So I’m realizing I started typing and lost track of my story, and also didn’t even answer your original question! @partypuppers I began comparing my ex because he was ALL talk and no action. He would say things about projects he was going to do, the future we would have, but nothing ever happened. He spoke of a lifestyle to dream of, but never changed from his lazy ways and worked to better what we already had. He is an awful example though because I paid for our lifestyle and also di…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 12:50 PM
4

Ugh, this is what I expected. We chatted today and I broached the subject of how they are, she spoke positively and said that she is paying half of the mortgage now. I said that’s great, so he put her on the deed then? And she said no, she doesn’t want that until there is a ring on her finger. I told her that’s not fair to her though, she should get equity for what she is contributing. :( I forgot to thank you for your comments, thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 11:02 PM
7

Wow, you hit the nail on the head. In further introspection, all of the married men I know with wives as SAHM speak incredibly highly of their wives and all they do. It’s only the ones still “boyfriend/girlfriend” that I was thinking of when typing this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 04:50 PM
8

A MONTH AND A HALF?! You need to BLOCK this man on everything, no questions asked. I’m not trying to ask rudely, but have you read the handbook? I think you may benefit greatly from it and the suggested reading books.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 03:39 PM
7

So I want to vent/rant about my best friend and maybe get some perspective. Sometimes it’s fun to chat about things I can’t really say out loud. She has been dating her boyfriend for 9 years. We met him in college when we were all 18, and we are now 27/28. She moved in with him at maybe 25 against her parents wishes. She does all of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and he pays a majority of the bills. He is really business savvy and works for his parents company. Essentially, he puts everything o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 03:34 PM
8

My opinion is through actions, not words. A good provider will see things that need to be done and handle them, no questions asked or complaints mention. For example, my current boyfriend saw I was stressed with work and will sent his maid to my house to take care of the cleaning for me (and still does this). He also noticed my tree in my backyard was creating a lot of debris and bought a leaf blower online and now leaf blows for me. He ordered a doggy door for my slider for my dog, and had wood…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 02:52 PM
4

I feel this way too. In my case, I feel like I’ve found so much clarity and purpose for my age (28) than most people have their entire lives. So even though I’m young, I think I’ve lived a happy and fulfilling life, and I don’t want it to end but I understand if it did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 02:28 AM
1

I just binged this show today! The sub on reddit was so negative about it. It wasn’t perfect, but I thought it was a light hearted and cute show. Loved the outfits too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 02:17 AM
2

Thanks for the update! Gosh, what a loser. Glad you received some clarification
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 11:54 AM
2

Yes exactly! It’s so middle/high school to me to text and message with a guy endlessly. I prefer phone calls and in person meet ups. Eventually you run out of things to talk about and lose that in person spark when meeting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 05:48 PM
2

I really don’t know the etiquette of online dating and how long they are supposed to take to ask you out. I do think that it would drag on if he didn’t move forward with weekend plans. It’s like- what’s his end game besides (like you said) entertaining his own ego / boredom
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 05:29 PM
14

Mhmmmm so please take my opinion with a grain of salt because I did online dating for maybe 3 weeks and I’m not on the market, so I’m not qualified lol I am thinking he is waiting to see if “better plans” come along for Friday or Saturday, and will ask you last minute (day of) to do something. My advice is to disappear on Friday around 5/6ish and you can begin responding Monday again. If he does ask you out over the weekend you say, “sorry just seeing this, such a busy weekend, I wasn’t availabl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 04:49 PM
7

It’s really too bad that we can’t post locations and plan meet ups because it’s not safe with male lurkers 😕 I would love this (COVID pending)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 02:08 PM
43

Yup, that’s why you should not mention this sub/ what you’re looking for. Not only can he now copy the ideas you are looking for, but he may also think you are playing games with him to win him over. Some things are best left for our own privacy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 04:51 PM
10

Just a random vent of something I’ve realized over the last year is some people (including female friends) just aren’t my people. There’s people I meet and I feel like they misconstrue what I say to mean something different, or they don’t think my jokes are funny. I always walk away thinking “they are nice, but they’re just not my people.” It’s frustrating because I’m realizing just how small my friend circle is. I guess it’s better to have quality friends than quantity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 06:12 PM
2

Oh and I 100% condone dropping OLD. I tried it for a few weeks and would rather be alone forever than deal with that again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 02:20 AM
2

My advice is don’t look. It may be lonely, but you should become comfortable living your life alone and spend time with friends. I’ve met a lot of new people through co-Ed intramural sports (I’ve played soccer, kickball, softball, and volleyball) and my team usually goes out for drinks after, and there’s usually other teams at the bar. (Pre-Covid) I also work out at a cross fit gym and those types of group fitness classes can lead to new connections!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 02:19 AM
2

Proud of you!!! ❤️ it’s hard to not check up but a step in the right direction
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 07:28 PM
7

I know you’re thinking of it as more woman supporting other woman advice, but from FDS point of view, you should not even know this man has a new girlfriend. He should be completely blocked from your life and not even someone you regard or waste thoughts on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 12:35 PM
10

I would stay out of it. It’s hard because you want to help others avoid hurt, but it’s likely to be turned around on you as being “jealous” or “crazy.” If she ever reaches out to you, I think then you can tell her your truth, but until then, it’s best not to stir up drama.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 07:28 PM
2

Don’t start now - dua lipa Feelings - Lennon Stella Fortress - Lennon Stella I love me - Demi Lovato Jealous - Lennon Stella Lose you to love me - Selena Gomez Mad woman - Taylor Swift You don’t own me Maybe depending on your interpretation, these below are empowering to me: The Last great American dynasty - Taylor Swift I don’t wanna be you anymore - Billie elish Let me go - hailee Steinfeld She used to be mine (I like the Addison agen cover) You should be sad - halsey
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 02:54 AM
11

As recommended by this sub, I watched Dirty John on Netflix this weekend. So many times I found myself saying “wow” and “oh my gosh” out loud. It was so amazing to watch the evolution of their relationship from outside lenses, and compare to my past relationships. An incredible, chilling show. Highly recommend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 05:14 PM
1

I know! Her comment was an end thread /s comment, so I think that’s why I didn’t feel the need to add anything
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 10:17 PM
2

Me too! She is a queen! Strong, kind, motivating, and always uplifting of other women. I am really happy to know her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 10:16 PM
1

It’s too bad to not be able to help someone who doesn’t want to see the light. I’m so grateful to have found this community. It’s difficult to deal with the negativity a lot of women still perpetuate towards each other. We need to lift each other up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 05:46 PM
2

I am so sorry this happened to you. What a horror story. This is actually really telling about men and reminds me of a story my grandmother told me about going out to eat with her friend and her friend’s boyfriend at a Denny’s or something, and their meals were each $5.99 or so, and the guy made a point to ask for my grandmother’s meal to be separate from his girlfriend’s and his meal. So cringeworthy and cheap. I’ve seen it said here before, but even when I go out with girl friends for coffee w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 05:25 PM
2

I know, and what’s sad is that you can tell she supports his mentality by feeling comfortable enough to share his “joke” with a room of people
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 04:52 PM
8

If you google “therapy doesnt work in abusive relationships” there’s a million articles supporting this statement alone. It sucks, but once you take time to heal, you will be so happy, free, and safe! Some book suggestions for you: Stop walking on eggshells - randi kreger & Paul t mason The gift of fear - Gavin de Becker Stop caretaking the borderline or narcissist: how to end the drama and get on with life- margalis fjelstad Healing from a narcissistic relationship- margalis fjelstad Why does h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 12:31 PM
20

I was at the gym this morning and at the end of the workout the coaches do a “question of the day.” Well the question of the day today was “do you know what tomorrow is the 100 year anniversary of?” And I said “women’s voting rights!” Yay! The reason I posted this though is because a WOMAN said after me “that’s when my son says everything went wrong.” And the coach and I starred at her, and the coach said, “how does that make you feel as his mother?” I wish I had something to say because my mind…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 12:19 PM
8

Wow what an awkward situation. I used to be a “counter girl” at a place like this in high school and I used to ask if it was together or separate to which the woman would look at the man to answer and usually he would say together. I guess if you are ordering first, you look at him after to be polite and listen to what he is ordering, don’t step down the line until he is done ordering and you go as a unit. Just in general, when a man holds a door for me, I pause and wait for him to come in so us…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 03:34 PM
9

Not your Mother’s rules book says weekend dates should be made by Wednesday. I agree with above, if it’s a proper date and on Saturday, I would accept. Personally, I want at least two days notice. I also wouldn’t answer tonight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 01:08 AM
2

Absolutely love what you wrote! They guilt you into being their slave by using “never give up.” I too, felt like the bad guy for leaving, but I shouldn’t have because he was finally receiving my push back after years of abuse. Trying to understand narcissism is difficult for a neurotypical person. Narcissists work the facts around their feelings while healthy individuals work their feelings around the facts. This explains their often warped version of reality, to support their actions that are d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 04:53 PM
2

I was getting facials for awhile (every 4-6 weeks) but stopped due to irritation. I absolutely loved the experience and feeling pampered during, but I noticed I would break out so much, when I usually don’t have acne. I was thinking it was hormonal because it was around the chin and bottom of my face. I stopped getting facials since the beginning of COVID lockdown (March) and my acne has cleared up. I also get lash extensions and it practically makes them all fall off, which wasn’t a big deal wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 08:38 PM
7

I would say yes, red flag. That’s an inappropriate thing to say, in my opinion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 09:49 PM
2

I looked up the debt recycling, and it seems to be very nice program! What a good incentive to be able to pay off your mortgage. As far as I know, we don’t have anything like that in my country. That is also my biggest incentive to have it paid off. It’s a known return and you have an extra big chunk of money every month, and peace of mind to know your home is 100% yours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 02:47 PM
5

Oh my gosh! Blocking! Why did this never occur to me?!? They will forget I exist instead of it “pending” with my name still visible
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 05:13 PM
3

I am loving where your mindset is at. I just want to mention something to think about when you said you want to pay off your house. Most homes have fixed interest rates so you will be locked into the rate (barring refinancing), so fluctuating rates shouldn’t be a concern. I too wanted to pay off my home. I’ve always been interested in the debate about it and would love to discuss here if anyone is interested. Pros: peace of mind, completely debt free Cons: higher return rate in stock market, hav…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 01:52 PM
15

So true!! I was explaining to my friend about it, and she was reluctant (she doesn’t want to date right now). I was trying to explain how it’s a mentality of women empowerment, not “how to date men.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 01:18 PM
7

I think this is something creepy men do. I was always added on Facebook when I had it and follow requested on Instagram from random men. Thinking now it’s sad that I usually leave it in pending because I’m scared the man would lash out somehow if I didn’t accept? The profiles are ALWAYS scrotes. Please don’t let people you don’t know into your life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 01:14 PM
3

I agree, they think in absolutes. Everything is either right or wrong, and there is no “gray area”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 04:40 PM
3

r/financialindependence is my favorite I also like r/daveramsey -his views are a little extreme in some aspects but it’s a good starter program for getting out of debt and living a debt free life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 03:14 PM
24

Good for you! I just heard a story through the grapevine this weekend of an acquaintance/friend who went on a date with a guy on a Friday, and he called her Tuesday to say he tested positive for COVID. She went and got tested and was also positive. Not. Worth. It.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 03:57 PM
7

There used to be a post in the Handbook about dating older men. I think this is it: https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/e855lx/dating_an_older_man_faqs/ Important questions I would want to know: Does he have kids? This would be a no for me personally. I wouldn’t want to come second to a child and ex-wife. Plus, it’s a red flag that he couldn’t make his family unit work, in my opinion. Why is he not married yet? Is he just prolonging his forever bachelor status with a younger w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 12:41 PM
4

You are not overreacting! It sounds like your mom does 110% of the emotional labor, and actual labor in the relationship. I wish I had advice to offer, it sounds like your brother is irresponsible and spoiled, which is sad in a situation where you parents aren’t able to easily bail him out. I’m not good at confrontation, so I guess I would offer to help to your mother as best as possible. Is there anything you can take off her plate? It sounds like she is spinning a lot right now
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 12:56 PM
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