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fetchingmorbid Archive

View 5 posts and 80 comments by fetchingmorbid on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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103

Wow. I'm posting this in my scrap book of fuck boyz as we speak. This is literally the grand canyon of black holes matter. Kudos to you for assembling this treasure trove.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 05:03 AM
17

Can we talk about how this is an AMA tho? Like really? Ask me how I made a career out of jacking my dick to a bunch of guys who'll believe anything. Hmu on my onlyfans: sweetzcumz4scrotz
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 03:36 PM
6

My sides. >>STOPPPH<<
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 03:09 PM
74

"you're crazy." Nah dude, I'm just actually way above your pay grade.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 11:41 AM
55

The source of all power.... AKA some cheeto encrusted troglodyte with a broken dick literally LARPING his way into the fucking no fly list hall of fame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 11:20 AM
31

Bitch you just gave me some disney dick energy. And do I up vote? Yes indeed!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 11:08 AM
19

That's a good sign! We're not all men hating harpies. We have women here who cross all ages, relationships, ethnic boundaries. No one can tell you what to do, and if they try tell them to fuck off. Never be embarrassed about posting here. I always thought if you found your way here it's like you realized something ain't right and you need to poll the audience. We've all been there, uncertain, doubting ourselves. But the collective knowledge of our experiences keeps me in check every time. I vent…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 04:25 AM
7

Yeah it's a lot to unpack, but seriously all signs point to hell the fuck no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 04:12 AM
5

🚩🚩🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 04:10 AM
57

And so the gaslighting begins.... Trust and believe that shit has no expiration date. If they can convince you why you were wrong for denying them sex for just one argument, you'll wake up ten years later wondering how the fuck you actually got to this place. Heed our words. The Oracle of Scrotes do not lie...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 03:59 AM
130

Lol. I can't. Best cosplay by a microdick for 2020. Ladies, let's all chip in and buy him a can of cocktail weenies. He's earned it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 03:35 AM
45

Reverse scroteology.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 03:18 AM
14

🙏🥒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 03:13 AM
71

OUR women and OUR vaginas really need to know OUR place. We all know how THOSE dicks keep flaunting THEIR wares at the gym, in the parks, Gods help us I saw one of THEM just yesterday with a tank top in the produce aisle inspecting a cucumber. MADNESS I say. Chastity belts and rape whistles for all. Vote SUCK YOUR OWN DICK party, TRANSYLVANIA 2020.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 03:03 AM
55

They can't stop the deceit. Seriously it's like part of their programming. If they could fuck a McChicken in their fever dream they'd still be out here hallucinating a drive thru talking about, "hey girl you look like the best big Mac a man's ever seen." Nah, bro. That special sauce is expired af.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 02:51 AM
3

Shout out to my autocorrect that has hood intentions, pure sharts, and treats women with toilettes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 03:33 PM
8

"R you ok?" Not even an ellipses break before the question mark. Dead ass. Took the time to spell out 'you' but not 'are'. Now we deep in fuck boi territory. DBL points if that's actually your man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 03:09 PM
79

I met a good man once. Then I realized I hit one too many bath salts and that cactus wasn't for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 03:00 PM
7

They love to try it tho. They got less will power than a can of just hair for men. Ask Guilliani.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 01:35 PM
37

Personally I like to apply a nice hydrating skin care regime, roll around in my soothing satin sheets, then set my microwave for a 2:05 AM alarm that beeps, "Am I your expired cup of ramen noodles you left sittin' in my shit you triflin' ass bitch? Cause I am not the one."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 01:27 PM
16

He got that telescope dick energy tho. 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 09:32 PM
31

Bro. This reminds me of every dateline mystery I've ever watched. Cut to defendant on trial for shooting his spouse, "The gun just went off!!" Cut to Paperplates dick at your tupperware party from hell, "The condom just went off!!" Spoiler alert: the condom was made from expired hot dog mush.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 09:27 PM
22

Sorting through the dystopian hellscape that is online dating is like swimming through a sea of hot dogs past their expiration date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 08:43 PM
6

PREACH, bitch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 07:29 PM
11

Is it a bad sign that I'm fluent in Scrotegerian at this point tho?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 07:17 PM
12

Right? So crazy! Imma get back to you on that, but first I've gotta waste six hours of my life playing call of duty and owning a bunch of twelve year old n00bz online. You got me on that sandwich tho right babe?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 05:45 PM
25

Bojack horseman??? Yessss bitch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 01:24 PM
851

"Can you please wipe your ass once a day?" "Probably not. I really don't like being told to wipe my own ass. Go find an anus as smelly as mine. Good luck." When literal shit stains are met as an open challenge...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 12:45 PM
49

Weirdest part is the less you care or invest in these mother fuckers the more effort you get out of them. Never make the mistake of thinking the more you give, the more you get. Men are like snack machines full of junk food garbage. Sure you can keep hoping for fillet mignon, but no amount of spare change will ever land you anything more appealing than some crusty ass cheetos.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 12:41 PM
16

Yup. And you'll never get a fucking word in edgewise. But don't worry, you've got a whole 45 min monologue of his to dissect later. God forbid you still live w him. That's a whole two hour David attenborough, among the apes situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 07:13 AM
28

Oh shit! She finally stopped trying to discuss things. Must mean I won her over w my flawless debate skills! Yes, Mark. You finally swayed me. Now it's all quiet on the western front. AKA, me reading reddit on the toilet as I happily flush your life dreams away. Swoosh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 07:08 AM
67

Yup. Then you just give up and play possum, so these intensely cerebral, sentient brains with dicks will just shut the fuck and leave you alone and..... Him: "Wow, I can see you're finally getting all the truth bombs I've exploded in our last fight. Thank God. I can still find it in my heart to forgive you." Cut to you, having checked out months ago, plotting your next restraining order, haven't said two words to his face: "Thanks, makes sense when you put it like that." Yeah no bitch. Dead man …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 06:48 AM
14

Uhh... for our shared amusement?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:02 PM
12

Scratch off dick energy ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 02:44 PM
8

This 1000%. They really think they can tho. LOL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 10:47 AM
19

Yup. I've put more effort into my nighttime skin care regime than any of these fucks could ever do into a whole relationship. Guess who's skin is now glowing, and your ass is still crusty sun damaged bullshit? Sheet masks mother fucker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 10:32 AM
102

Yeah I don't think this is gonna work out. Maybe I just need to find some other more "open" female's organs to harvest. Sorry OP. Ps - It's still cool if I send you late night pics of my flaccid dick tho right??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 08:43 AM
372

Joke's on you OP. You missed out on some sweet port-o-potty behind the burger king realness. You supply the toilet paper, natch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 06:58 AM
72

Yeah, I've had more thrilling conversations w my Alexa app. And I don't even have that bullshit. That's just me riffing w my toaster oven. No Kyle, just no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 06:47 AM
15

I once took a long walk in a field. Then I remembered I had a brain, a vag, and a heart.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 12:19 PM
30

A 50 cent condom is too much to spend on a woman but y'all out here asking for discount abortions and a value fry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 09:52 AM
19

Bro. They ain't shit. They just play at it. Until we've had enough. Get smarter and scrape our lives out of the gutter that they made. Take off the love goggles and now they wanna come correct. Absolutely, categorically, not in my fucking universe you sad excuse for a mother fucker. Edit to your edit: They always come crawling back. Usually dustier w even worse baggage . Like bitch, we already bought that ticket and took that ride. Now you out here looking like lost claims cause noone in their r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 09:24 AM
21

Field dick energy.༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 08:57 AM
22

Which works in tandem with schrodinger's dick. Granted, I stuck my dick inside you multiple times, but there's a burger king down the road.. and you're too clingy to be my sperm receptical but not savy enough to understand the nuances of condiments I smother on my onion ring order. Then he'll throw some shit in air quotes and pontificate on why bitches just don't "get it".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 08:33 AM
8

Thanks babe. Can you pay for our uber over to my bro Charlie's house? His girlfriend is a total bitch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 08:11 AM
4

My card is acting funny. You got this tho right??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 08:06 AM
5

FDS, you're getting weird. I think we both know we want something more. That's why I sniffed your underwear and shit in your closet that one night. But you're giving me mixed signals. Ugh, I can't even.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 08:04 AM
28

Real talk. For every poorly lit dick pic we receive, we shall pass on one invite. Yesss. Yessss. Let the florescent lit jizz flow through you ladiesss.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 07:49 AM
5

This sub changed my entire approach to people in general. For any woman dealing w the insane horse shit that is your current relationship, I tell you the truth, distilled to it's purest form. Every kindness you do without reciprocation is an emotional scar you'll have to heal further down the road. Not all men are evil, don't close off completely, let them prove it to you. But if he so much as wears those shoes in your general universe, hell the fuck no. Take that shit back to foot locker outlet…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 07:22 AM
126

I don't want to take a shit. I just want one turd to show up, dance a jig, play a magic flute song out of my anus, wipe my ass to the soundtrack to boys2men, and sexily donate to my makeashit foundation while wearing a thong. 😜😘 Partner in grime. 💯 💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 07:06 AM
30

Field of what? Dreams? Nightmares? Dicks you need night vision lenses to even believe they exist? Survey says nah fucker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 09:49 AM
2

Anytime boo!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:56 PM
8

He got that comb over action tho. Applied liberally w axe body spray and a hope and prayer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:10 PM
5

More like the scratch off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 03:47 PM
20

Casino dick energy. Every text you send is a gamble.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 02:49 PM
3

Flair that shit w "male fan fiction #1,092." But just keep alternating the numbers cause who even gaf at this point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 02:27 PM
89

Scrote Action News. All scrotes all the time.™️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 10:44 AM
9

I can smell the crusty cheeto juice oozing off his paragraphs from fucking over here. Like bitch. Not even in my general vicinity. Take that bullshit back to your Wednesday d&d tourney and doorstop deliver it to someone who cares cause I ain't the one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 10:34 AM
18

Biiiiitch. I read this in a faux english accent. Complete w air quotes and everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 10:23 AM
11

And PS I wrote a haiku for you on toilet paper w my fecal matter littered w quotation marks just in case you don't "get" it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:46 AM
29

"I really can't w these destitute mother fuckers." - my 72 year old, multi property owning immigrant jewish mother just hours after downloading tinder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 08:58 AM
78

Blah blah fucking blah. Translation: I'm so broke and desperate even Arby's won't fuck w me. Can I interest you in a half eaten can of cocktail weenies? You provide the condiments.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 08:37 AM
3

They should get hit w a felony too if it's that harsh florescent lighting. Community service sorting baby carrots for all micro dicks. Straight off the top.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 08:29 AM
7

Hold up. You're telling me you ain't about that discount hair plugs from Mexico, moth ball smellin, saggy balls life? Like dude, you haven't lived. They got a whole scrapbook full of expired coupons to Sizzler they are just waiting to flex on you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 08:14 AM
514

Man tells wife to fuck other people. Wife obliges. Man discovers his jizz is not actually made of unicorn flavored rainbow dicks. More at eleven.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 08:01 AM
28

Fuckers got herpes of the soul. Always use protection ladies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 07:19 AM
30

Next level shit. I'd rather fill my vagina with bit coins, go broke, wake up in a shady motel 6, in a third world country w my liver missing, than even allow you to smell the faded poporri from my car's expired air freshener. Respect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 06:41 AM
3

Bath salts kids, not even once.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 05:50 PM
2

Samesies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 10:38 PM
92

I'm going to start planning to meet these fuck boys at a specific time and place and then send them both to the same spot w a farewell text, "I thought you two would really hit it off. have fun on your play date kids."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 07:35 PM
18

They want Linda from craft services who just so happens to look like the girl next door with the anatomy of an amateur porn star. That bitch already exists. Her name is Barbie, body by Matel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 09:44 PM
1

So this is a comment from one of my really good guy friends in our group chat. Another fds post totally reminded me of this microexchange and i felt like flexin'. A is my homeboy. Genuinely good guy. Has helped me move without hesitation, is selfless for his bros and homegirls, overall someone all of our friend group can count on. K is the typical pickmeisha. She's fucked half the dudes in our group, pathologically insecure, and desperate to be "one of the boys". A is a 5 at best looks wise, but…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 07:55 PM
7

Damn. I'm shook. These read receipts got me on some mhhmmmmmm??¿!!! Well shit sis, clearly the message is clear. "Mmmhhhhmmm?!?" Put that shit thru Google translate. Translation: sad snap dick w a side of performance anxiety. Bet he's in a frat tho!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 01:26 AM
11

This is my mission. This is my calling. Just call me.. the scrotelator.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 09:50 PM
4

Scrambled scrotum of an existence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 08:07 PM
340

Allow me to translate. I'm fluent in Brokewaneze. "Paddle boarding" = "CaN I SeeZ uR aSs in a BikiNi plZ? LOL. Me sO lOneLy..." "Are you a serial killer?" = "Look maw, I flipped the script! Cause now she definitely won't suspect I'm a serial killer. Bomb diffused. Hyuk hyuk." "I'm driving" = "I'm currently beating my dick so hard that the friction deserves its own mph." "Cut through the bs" = "my years of online gaming taught me that an aggressive snipe on the opponent earns me a hundred points …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 07:34 PM
3

Lemme attempt to break this one down for you love. Freaky quick responses of short length and no substance? Translation: homeboy is sitting in his recliner, full headset mode (on a Monday??) in his soiled underwear playing 2k with his online "broskies". Every time your notification dings he pressed pause, swigs some mountain dew and faps out a few word responses on his Cheeto encrusted sausage fingers. Trust. It is known.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 08:46 PM
4

Biiitch. LOL. Easier to change my tampon and less messy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 08:33 PM
6

My go to when these sentient tumors drop that line is, "Who are you the fucking face police?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 02:40 AM
3

My God thank you for this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 03:13 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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