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fiercefinance Archive

View 0 posts and 341 comments by fiercefinance on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
53

Dick is abundant and low value. I used to get validation from being wanted by men. I have realised it means very little at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 04:42 AM
70

Actually one thing Don said stayed with me and has helped me a lot in life. "People show us who they are but we don't believe them. We want them to be who we want them to be." Damn, Don. Mic drop.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 09:04 PM
89

Watching Don Draper be an unhappy womaniser who refused to work on himself, and still find him attractive, gave me a huge insight into my fucked-up taste in men. Although to be fair my distate for him grew over time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 08:46 PM
15

Wow, was this woman listening in on my life? That is EXACTLY how my marriage ended.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 02:31 AM
11

Omg yes to all this. Solid advice!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 12:45 PM
23

My partner doesn't watch porn and is in fact pretty anti-porn. They do exist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 11:00 AM
39

Wow this sounds amazing, I'm going to watch the lecture (and listen to the podcast).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 10:51 AM
3

Ugh this is infuriating to read.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 10:06 PM
3

I watched this again last year and had forgotten how terrible it is. I wanted to throw things at the TV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 08:07 AM
12

Thank you mods, you're doing the Goddess's work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 08:51 AM
49

Yes, and a large proportion of what we watch on TV is written and made by men. Diana Gabaldon (author of Outlander) is a great exception to that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 09:09 PM
85

Interestingly, Outlander is the only story I can think of where a male rape is used to push the story forward. It's so unusual that's it's memorable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 09:04 PM
2

One of my friends remains married to her ex because he's such an abusive POS that she knows all hell will break loose when she files for divorce, and right now peace is more important. Another friend was with an abusive POS for 12 goddamn years, let him move into her apartment, not pay a cent towards it and he remained married to his ex-wife the whole time! I personally delayed the divorce proceedings with my ex for about six months because I knew it would upset him and I didn't want to deal wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 09:48 PM
4

Ugh. Woke bros are the worst.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 04:03 AM
3

I feel this so hard. Love my 40s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 06:18 AM
2

6 years. It was a long slow decline but I think the final straw was his complete inability to confront his issues, and how they affected our marriage. I told him I wanted to leave and he begged me not to. That week I came home and he'd cooked a nice dinner for us. I thought great, we'll sit down and he'll pour out his heart and agree to get therapy. Nope, just sat there and chatted about anything but. I left that week. My life got much better from there. I got to know myself better, leveled up m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 06:17 AM
9

When I said at marriage counseling with my now-ex-husband "you never even tell me I'm pretty or you like my outfit", his response was "well... I tell other people". I realised that he witheld compliments from me because he was threatened by my success and happiness. He didn't want me to get a big head. But he talked me up to others because it was a positive reflection on him. The small-dick energy of this man was breathtaking sometimes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 05:51 AM
9

Same. It's so refreshing now to be in a relationship where I am listened to and my views taken on board.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 08:43 PM
3

So much truth here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 08:42 PM
3

Hummus is totally overrated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 02:50 AM
9

Ugh this gave me online dating flashbacks. So many creepy faux-intellectual guys who just want to sleep with you 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 02:50 AM
11

Good on you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 07:05 AM
29

Same here. My boyfriend does not watch porn, or like porn-style sex, and is a great lover.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 07:05 PM
39

Amazing huh? All those years I thought I didn't like sex. I just didn't like it with my ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 10:40 PM
6

Can we talk about why she needs to ask Twitter? Obviously it's totally unacceptable but even if you weren't sure, text a friend! Why would you need to put your literal shit out here on the internet?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 04:32 AM
19

It's called Wokefishing (similar to catfishing) and Thelma Plumm has a great song about it called Woke Bros. Look it up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 12:25 AM
7

My divorce was much less traumatic but I still needed a long time to get over it. The dating I did for subsequent years was not that healthy either. I ended up focusing on just having sex, because relationships were too hard. But that was not the solution either. The only thing that reset my mind was a long break from dating. That was about a year for me, but it took six years from my divorce until I met someone and began a healthy relationship. I also did some therapy which was very helpful. No…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 08:25 PM
28

Yep. Recovering pickmeisha in my 40s. If you met me you'd think I'm amazing and confident and together. But I have made some very poor decisions with men. Doing better now, but being tough with myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 08:53 AM
3

This is really helpful, thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 11:49 PM
9

I think about this every time I hear it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 08:11 PM
1

Good luck. You got this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 09:19 PM
1

You know, sometimes we don't know what we want ot don't want until it's right there in front of us. Maybe he just got close and then scared. Either way, sounds like it's time to make a break
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 08:58 PM
5

I don't know, maybe he has a vague wish but then it's all too hard. I once had a guy ride 2000km on a motorcycle to see me, so I can assure you if he REALLY wanted to, he would.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 08:37 PM
21

He enjoys the rush of your attention and validation. It's about him and how your interest makes him feel good. If he didn't make promises he wouldn't get this. If he wanted to, he would. Let this be your mantra. Stop wasting time try to understand his internal life, as you never will. Take the steps to move on and value yourself more highly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 08:12 PM
32

He's not interested in you. Sorry but it's that simple. Please read the handbook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 08:07 PM
13

Interesting perspective. We don't hear much about the damaging effects on women as consumers. Thanks for sharing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 08:54 PM
5

That looks like a wonderful date! Well done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 07:08 AM
19

The red pill crowd love to make up statistics. My crazy red pill cousin sent me an abusive message with a whole bunch of them, and for my own satisfaction I fact checked each one. Just lie after lie, and they dress them up to sound vaguely legit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 02:59 AM
11

That is 100% a case of the trash taking himself out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 11:39 AM
28

Do not take advice about your legal or financial situation from friends. Pay a professional to get facts and figures. When looking for said professional, be picky, interview a few and choose someone you feel comfortable with and who can answer your tough questions reasonably.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 12:18 AM
12

I like how he uses the word "cherish" to suggest his conversation is something valuable 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 08:30 PM
57

Great lesson to learn so early in life. Never too young to start realising your own value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 08:24 PM
23

I'm so sorry you had to go through that at such a young age. And so glad you got out and have learnt from it. Stay strong sis ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 10:20 AM
28

I took dating advice from a male friend for far too long. It was all around bad advice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 11:13 AM
28

Good on you! I work with these kinds of guys and they sometimes need a reality check.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 10:37 AM
1

Same girl, same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 03:58 AM
2

Ugh too real. The part about only showing emotion when drunk 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 09:14 PM
5

I read this today and was filled with horror at his awfulness, and then satisfaction at him getting shamed and sacked for it. What a scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 12:14 PM
37

"I love to enjoy myself and others". Let's shame him for his vacuous bio that doesn't even make sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 12:28 AM
30

Imagine dating a guy, going to his house and seeing this ATTACHED TO THE WALL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 12:17 AM
11

You don't want to be friends, you want to pick up the crumbs of his affection and pretend it's friendship. There is no healthy friendship with a guy you've dated. I learnt this the hard way. Regardless of you ending the relationship, he still broke your heart with his frankly ridiculous life plan. It's way past the time to block and delete. Then you can go about healing yourself without him hanging around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 09:00 PM
43

You'll be amazed at how much you DON'T miss him a year or two from now. And well done on leveling up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 12:59 AM
25

If you block them you won't have this problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 12:44 AM
22

So much yes to this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 10:46 AM
9

Thank you mods for all you do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 06:17 AM
31

Yes, so glad the sub is surviving all the sad scrotes attacking it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 06:13 AM
17

Well little things like bringing them a coffee in bed and sharing housework. But the big things are being in their corner, supporting them. Like my mum has been having issues with her sister and her husband is so patient and supportive. My stepmum is a renovation queen and my dad doesn't really care as much, but goes along with every new project at home. They genuinely want to make their wives happy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 12:33 AM
11

Haha nailed it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 12:24 AM
23

Both my dad and my stepdad are HVMs who dote on their wives. If anything, they've modelled the type of partner I want, and my mum and stepmum have shown me what I should strive for in finding a partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 12:15 AM
2

Which is all we can do right!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 11:53 PM
2

Ah yes, the old 'give him his fantasies and he just wants more'. I've come across this before. You sound like a great partner who tried her best. I'm sorry it ended up so shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 08:58 PM
20

A Google doc of his fantasies. Fuck, I don't even know what to say. So messed up. I'm sorry you went through that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 11:52 AM
34

You can do it! Sistas are here behind you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 08:54 PM
17

Omg I love your mom!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 08:53 PM
16

Good on you for getting outta there. Gross 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 06:27 AM
16

I would have just replied with a text that said threw, and left him to consider his illiteracy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 08:00 AM
48

I noped out at "I seen''
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 07:49 AM
22

Surely this is satire. If not, it's definitely a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 07:44 AM
60

It's questionable that you are flying to him in the first place. He should come to you as a rule. And if for some obscure reason he can't, then he should definitely pay. Lot of red flags here. Have you read the handbook?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 07:42 AM
11

Savage. Love it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 07:36 AM
13

What a self-own. "The woman I'm dating only dates losers". He knows he's one of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 10:04 PM
2

Yes I've helped a number of friends through their divorces from emotionally abusive men and it's surprising how the toxicity escapes and affects other people too. So depressing to see just how common it is 😔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 10:00 PM
5

Wow you're an amazing friend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 07:05 AM
21

Sometimes you can't help having the feelings. The key is to not act on them. No double texting, no checking in etc. The more you practise just sitting with those feelings, the less power they have over you in time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 12:50 AM
11

Well done. And don't sweat the time spent on him. It's a great life lesson in what to avoid. And as a percentage of your life, it's pretty small. Just move on, level up and own it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 12:38 AM
9

I know right! All that testosterone and not needing to lay down body fat for child bearing haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 11:21 AM
27

I don't need a man to be ripped and sporting a six pack to find him attractive. I do need him to care about his body, health and diet and therefore not be rocking a beer gut and love handles. Sooo many men can't even meet that hurdle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 06:25 AM
2

Might be time to change this post flair to #KickHimOut2020 haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 04:59 AM
3

I beg to differ that it's worth it. Mental peace is more valuable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 09:37 PM
3

Please get out now. The longer you are there the more he will try to manipulate you and the worse you will feel. Two years is a long time to live with someone you don't respect. The thing I had to tell myself when I went through an expensive divorce is it's only money and you can always make more of it (which I have).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 09:36 PM
10

I was 'dating' a fuckboy and it morphed into a friendship (I know, pickme behaviour). Well we were really close for a couple of years and then he got a GF and moved in with her. Then just stops talking to me. After about a month of not hearing from him, he messages me, drunk, and wants me to go out that night partying and taking drugs. Obviously he's bored of monogamy and domestic life. I tell him no. Don't hear from him again until a month later and exactly the same thing happens. When I call h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 09:28 PM
5

Yes girl! Is there some website or handbook where guys get these copypasta messages?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 09:21 PM
60

Once you start listening to pop songs properly they are often a dumpster fire of pickme BS and LVM rants. And this is definitely one of them!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 09:13 PM
69

Wow, so powerful. And that was 1988, when we still had nothing but VHS tapes to share it. My God what has the world descended into since then.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 09:09 PM
3

Glad you're moving on. Only up from here!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 09:28 AM
24

I don't even think he deserved that much explanation. Block and delete to that nonsense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 08:51 AM
6

"Thank you for coming to my incel TED talk".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 12:20 AM
4

He sounds like an absolute piece of shit. I'm sorry these scrotes exist and mess with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 12:16 AM
6

The level of naivete or desperation or stupidity that would make someone think that's their best option is, frankly, breathtaking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 07:58 AM
6

Oh yeah I have to admit to the occasional hate-watch! I find the Bachelor so sad though, towards the end when they are all getting heartbroken.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 07:32 AM
27

I find everything about The Bachelor and Love Island etc utterly depressing for the women involved. It sets up the worst aspects of modern dating and magnifies it, then tries to somehow celebrate it. While there are some girls who support this way of thinking, I know there are plenty who don't. I find it best to just tune out the awfulness of that world and look to positive and productive women doing cool things and creating positive content.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 06:17 AM
56

I read your original post and am proud of you for being so level headed. One of the best things I've learnt is that the longer the wrong person is in your life, the longer the right person isn't it. It applies to other things like jobs too. You need to make space for the right things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 03:38 AM
8

This is spot on. Lockdown this year has meant I'm way less glam than usual. Grey hair showing, leggings every day, no makeup. And yet (now things have opened up again) I've met someone who doesn't care about this stuff at all, and never comments on my body in a sexual way. At first it was weird because guys are always like 'oh your ass is amazing" etc. Now I realise it's because it's only one part of what he likes. Weird at first but very refreshing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 01:56 AM
18

What an absolute loser. I'm sure this is not his only selfish behaviour, just the one he has called himself out on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 09:27 PM
6

Honey, please go to counseling on your own. He has traumatised the hell out of you and it's your time to start healing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 07:48 AM
16

Um like all the adulting. Paying bills, keeping the house clean, all of it. My competence played into his laziness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 10:03 AM
5

Honestly it just takes time. You can't fast forward this part. I broke up with an LVM when I was your age and goddamn if it didn't take me twice the time to get over him as the amount of time we were together! Stay busy, see your girlfriends, learn something new. After a while the memory fades and you can move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 10:02 AM
6

Well done. Stay strong sis. You've done yourself a favour.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 09:58 AM
7

I agree with this. Unless you're afraid for your safety, it's a good life skill to be able to calmly call the end to something you don't want to be at. A date, a party, an event - whatever. You politely excuse yourself and leave. It's as hard and as simple as that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 01:28 AM
1

R/divorcedbirds is adorable humour.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 05:30 AM
3

Ugh so annoying how you can't control sex dreams! But yeah maybe your subconscious is doing the work it needs to, reminding you what a good relationship can feel like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 05:29 AM
62

Good insights. Interesting to see how much self awareness he has about it all too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 01:54 AM
47

I need a shower after reading this ad. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 12:30 AM
32

One of my favourite experts on this is Jessi Kneeland, who says we should all aim for body neutrality. This is where our body is the least interesting thing about us. I am not there yet, but it's a good goal to have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 07:19 AM
2

You're welcome. Much love from an internet stranger ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 11:50 AM
14

Girl there are so many amazing and strong women who have been abused by manipulative men. Like, women I know and love, and women who are successful and famous. Abuse is not your fault. It is the abuser's fault. Write that on a sticky note please!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 11:45 AM
13

I'm sorry this happened to you. The answer is that you need therapy to deal with the trauma. The idea of that may be scary but you can do hard things. You already have. Take the next step and start healing. You got this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 11:34 AM
36

So one of our banks found that in one year, (mostly) men sent 8000 payments to their (presumably ex) partners just so they could include an abusive message in it. Like they transfer one dollar and the statement says 'transfer received from: die you *#$"& b@#ch' or something lovely like that. You cannot make this shit up. Also the bank has banned the practice, kudos to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 08:34 AM
6

Well the video for Higher Love (fantastic song) was a dumpster fire of sexual objectification, so I'm glad this is better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 08:24 AM
36

This is very common in my experience
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 07:02 AM
19

Pet subject of mine! Darcy is a narcissist fuckhead and we have all been duped into believing it's a happy ending. He's emotionally distant, arrogant and rude. He does ONE nice thing and we are all supposed to swoon and love him? Elizabeth did ok insofar as she got the estate and money. But there is no way she got a happy marriage. I'm not saying I didn't used to swoon over Colin Firth in a wet shirt. But as I got older I realised Jane Austen is trolling us all!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 12:10 PM
22

So simple but so eloquent
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 12:25 PM
-5

If you don't want him for a boyfriend, what's the harm? A girl's gotta eat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 11:04 AM
1

Yeah I feel you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 06:26 AM
1

Good luck and stay strong 💪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 09:58 PM
6

Good that you realise this. If you really want to level up you need to block and delete. It's the only way to protect your feelings in the long run.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 09:08 AM
3

Maybe try Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 08:58 AM
14

Stay strong! Don't give into the sadness and rose tinted memories of what you wish it had been like. The hard part is leaving. The harder part is after that. Then once that's past, you feel so much better than you realised you could. Hang in there. Hugs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 03:13 AM
9

Yasss girlllll 💃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 03:43 AM
15

Haha you must feel very special!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 05:02 AM
31

It's also why they use stupid pics of them pulling faces. So when they get rejected it's because wOmEn ArE ShAlLoW
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 07:25 AM
26

I must be old these days
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 07:03 AM
73

Vomit. Also, dude, how about a proof read of your message?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 05:39 AM
22

Yes he is an LVM. Some guys just love the idea of things but are too chicken shit to put words into action. Either too lazy or too scared. Either way he has shown his true colours early so you can stop wasting time. Next!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 04:20 AM
24

I'm glad you replied. Sometimes it gets so depressing thinking that HVMs are like some mythical creature. Glad to know they exist in the wild!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 04:17 AM
30

bUt RisOtTo iS HaRd!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 06:06 AM
15

Same girl, same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 05:58 AM
2

Ok great advice, thank you so much!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 02:00 AM
3

Totally!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 01:18 AM
3

I think the great part of their relationship was he was pretty much the only one not to just see her as a sex object (ok not excusing his general fuckboy ways). Not gonna lie, watching 7 seasons of Don Draper made me realise my penchant for emotionally unstable and unavailable men. Not anymore!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 11:46 PM
3

Yes we are just here for the plant dating strategy 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 11:43 PM
1

He has isolated you, which is abuse 101. You should reach out to local women's shelters or a domestic abuse hotline. They will give you the first steps. Remember that abuse doesn't have to be physical, you're just as entitled to support even if he never raised a hand. Coercion and control are real. Please google DV support in your area, even go to a library to use their internet if you are worried he will search your history. You can do this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 09:24 PM
6

The hard thing in life is watching people you love make bad choices. But that's basically what life is. Be supportive, give advice when asked but ultimately she will have to make her own mistakes (and this relationship sounds like a big one).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 09:20 PM
4

Omg I could have a whole discussion about Joan but will limit myself to this. As fucked as it was, that decision gave her access to partnership, which changed her life trajectory. It was a comment in some ways about the lack of conventional ways women could access power and wealth. I think the good thing was that she took the rewards and didn't let herself be brought down by the shame and regret. It was the ultimate fuck you to the men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 09:14 PM
6

I think you sound awesome and shouldn't hide it! And sorry to derail but I am aspiring to become a plant person. Is there a resource or book you recommend for newbies?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 09:07 PM
5

Haha welcome sis!👋
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 08:57 PM
19

I think if she's already rationalised the age gap to herself you won't get her to rethink it as the deal-breaker. Perhaps what's more useful is helping her to see the other issues that are making her question it. Like what are the specific problems caused by the two faiths? Maybe help her look into what Muslim marriage means (tbh it sounds about as awful as evangelical Christian but in a different way). Overall you can't really make a friend leave a relationship, you can only help them work thro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 08:50 PM
9

That sucks a lot. Sending you hugs and hope you enjoy the icecream.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 11:18 AM
16

The other lesson is don't take sex advice from random internet guys. I'm not being flippant - it actually worries me that she felt the need to. Good close female friendships are what she needed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 11:14 AM
14

Every time I read one I vomited in my mouth a little and by the end I was heaving 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 11:10 AM
43

I don't think you need to limit it to "in my age range" sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 11:09 AM
1

Nice analysis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 04:40 AM
4

Only like every conversation with my ex. It's code for 'I don't like your answer, please try again'. Specifically, 'try again until it's your fault and your problem'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 04:38 AM
6

That imagined conversation is hilarious 😂 and probably accurate
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 04:01 AM
3

It would be helpful to know what's keeping you there. Is it fear? Do you live together? What are the specific hurdles to leaving?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 03:36 AM
34

Seriously though, do girls ever say 'nothing. I'd like to meet a stranger and immediately bang them. Come over now'? Like why do they even try this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 03:15 AM
2

Oh yes absolutely you are right. We need to take all the precautions we can. It's really hard to encourage women to protect themselves while not blaming them for being victims. We are never really safe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 09:07 PM
3

Happy cake day!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 09:04 PM
10

Yeah for me the alternative to OLD has just been not dating at all and honestly I feel so much better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 09:04 PM
2

Haha sheer poetry
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 10:08 AM
3

Woohoo 👏👏👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 10:07 AM
7

Me too! So good to have perspectives and insights different from the mainstream pickmeisha BS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 09:25 AM
3

Agreed. And happy cake day!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 09:21 AM
4

Well done sis. It's the hardest thing you'll do but worth it when you come out the other side. Onwards and upwards!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 08:54 AM
6

Journaling saved my sanity in my divorce. Highly recommend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 08:52 AM
4

Great advice right here
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 08:51 AM
3

Wishing you strength and courage. You can do it sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 08:50 AM
27

This is awful and unacceptable but let's remember that the absolute most dangerous thing you can do as a woman is have an intimate partner. Men kill their wives and girlfriends every damn day. More important than pepper spray is a zero tolerance for red flags, so you get out early. Or ideally, never engage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 08:42 AM
103

They are just really negative places. I always come away from the experience of OLD feeling worse than before I started.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 07:55 AM
91

That man hasn't had sex 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 07:52 AM
3

You're so talented! Also, good plan!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 09:36 PM
3

Glad someone is here to ask the right questions
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 11:02 AM
5

First of all, it's anti-abortion, not pro-life. Second, any man who even hints at a desire to control women's bodies is a complete hard no from me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 10:57 AM
7

Because they are entitled and the world is designed for them to continue feeling this way. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 10:49 AM
14

Just fuck off Frank.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 10:43 AM
7

And that's why I'm staying atheist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 10:41 AM
5

Yes girl! Also your friend has rubbish advice. Don't listen to her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 10:38 AM
5

The key is to learn from every experience and you have.and you shared that knowledge! Nice work sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 10:31 AM
2

I don't see anything wrong with asking him to clarify the nature of the meeting. A date? Friends? Just the him you want to go in the right frame of mind and need some clarity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 10:22 AM
13

As a safety thing, I wouldn't let a guy drive me to a first date. You want to have control over how and when you leave. Always make your own way there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 10:09 AM
4

This is such a sad insight into how porn is ruining a generation. I'm glad he addressed it but geez imagine how many other poor couples are dealing with this. It's like letting kids get hooked on smoking or booze before they understand the consequences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 12:19 PM
1

Yes my eyes hurt 🤯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 12:11 PM
6

Hahahaha so black and white 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 05:25 AM
5

Yeah I know the date off the top of my head so I'm ready!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 05:24 AM
28

Some gold from my ex: -It turns out I am depressed and 80 percent of the reason is you - the reason I didn't start my own business is you didn't help me enough (I was working full-time while he sat on the lounge) Nothing was ever his fault
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 10:26 PM
56

Yeah the trash took itself out. Learn and move on
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 10:19 PM
9

After many years on hormonal BC I went off it for health reasons. My ex husband started using condoms. And he was totally fine about it because he is a respectful adult human who did not want kids. We split up for other reasons but in this aspect it was a totally fine solution.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 10:11 PM
17

Here's a compliment: you sound awesome! Well done on leveling up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 10:04 PM
37

I'm going to answer from my own pickmeisha experience. I think part of it was just all the received messages from society as other comments have flagged. But also I think it was hard for me to get, so I wanted it more. I'm smart and sassy and confident, and always was. Which is not that attractive to most men. So even in high school I wondered why I didn't attract boys even though I was just as pretty as other girls. Then I guess I spent a loooong time trying to prove to myself that I was attrac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 10:02 PM
7

Well said.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 09:55 PM
42

Being outdoors. Like yes Matt, I also enjoy leaving the house.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 11:19 AM
18

I like short guys too! And tall. I just don't see it as an issue either way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 11:16 AM
-1

Haha ok. Maybe I'm too nice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 11:13 AM
1

I don't agree with everyone being cynical here. Sometimes it takes one person to change your perspective. Also guys can genuinely want to say hi and not have bad intentions. I think it's a nice story OP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 10:43 AM
12

I very much enjoyed this TED talk ♥️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 10:06 AM
27

I think it's great to admire fit bodies. But can we also accept that there's nothing wrong with ageing gracefully into an adult body with curves and wrinkles and stuff, as well. There are lots of ways to age well and staying rake thin is just one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 03:39 AM
53

Honestly the shift to this way of thinking has been a game changer for me. I used to spend a lot of time and energy on being sexually desirable. Sure I still make an effort to look nice, but now I finally see that a guy wanting sex with you is beyond meaningless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 03:34 AM
1

Good to hear. And as Glennon Doyle says, we can do hard things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 09:54 PM
132

What a fucking loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 11:30 AM
6

I loved reading Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle, and hear her new book is great too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 09:50 AM
9

You literally just practise being on your own. The more you do it the easier and more normal it becomes. Join things, see friends, have hobbies of course. But just sit with the discomfort of being alone and it goes away. Also, dump that guy, he's a waste of space.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 05:49 AM
15

I loved the mink coat photo so hard! Great to have an update. Well done sis. Great things ahead for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 05:38 AM
4

Good on you sis. Onwards and upwards from here!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 05:35 AM
9

Sounds like you know what you want to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 01:35 AM
12

Sis, you go back to therapy. Really. You're not healed yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 01:27 AM
12

Oof. So much realness. Slaughtering the goat was 👌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 01:26 AM
5

This is poetry 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 11:27 AM
2

Well done. Stay strong, you'll be so much happier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 11:08 AM
3

Stay strong sis. He is a total loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 11:07 AM
10

Hey sis! Fellow 40s here. Still hot, still attract men, mostly can't be bothered with their BS though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 10:59 AM
16

The fact that she feels bad about ruining his birthday with her medical needs speaks volumes about the dynamics in the relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 02:56 AM
27

It also shows the endless treadmill of creating content for likes on social media. All of that was probably planned and all for views. If this is how women make their living it becomes a cycle of shitty content plays. Whether it's being a THOT on insta or a porn star, putting your entire career and self-worth at the mercy of social media can be hugely damaging.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 02:50 AM
9

The usernames. Redpillers. Vomit 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 11:27 AM
23

You got this! Stay mad, stay strong
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 11:25 AM
14

God what a loser. Glad you left that behind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 11:18 AM
27

I think that was the B-Side
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 05:31 AM
127

Is there a song called I'm Absolutely Repellent to Women? I think that's his anthem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 02:08 AM
115

Notice how the whole thing is about how he feels and how he is hurting? The absolute self-absorption is terrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 02:07 AM
5

Oh yes the old 'out of the blue' theme! I know it well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 12:12 PM
36

Nice effort on shutting it down. Next!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 08:16 AM
25

There is so much going on here I don't know where to start. Maybe just read the handbook, trust your gut and run far, far away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 08:13 AM
4

Ding dongs 😂 salt shaker 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 08:10 AM
22

You can block relatives who are trash. I did and it was helpful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 02:59 AM
8

I could tell you a bunch of stuff but honestly, you're gonna learn the hard way. Keep your chin up and believe in yourself. Everything else is gonna be messy, but it definitely gets better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 12:02 PM
30

When you know better, you do better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 11:56 AM
35

Yasss girl! I feel you for sure. When you do your inner work and get the support of like minded sistas, it's the best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 11:54 AM
23

My ex would say he's gonna do it then procrastinate and I learnt how to grill my own damn steak because I was hungry
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 11:33 AM
1

One of the realisations that really helped me is that just because someone says something about you, doesn't mean it's true. Sounds simple huh. But how many times do we just believe the worst about ourselves? When the person saying it is being careless, manipulative, or just projecting. Once I accepted that a comment isn't necessarily true it helped me filter that shit out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 07:22 AM
1

On the contrary, it sounds like you won't take any shit at all. You seem very aware of what's happening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 08:48 PM
3

I worked for a total narc fuckboi in his 60s (can you even believe). Giant ego, massive bully. Not for long. He shouted at me once about nothing and that was it. Quit not long after.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 12:07 PM
3

It's hard for anyone to say without knowing details about your relationship. But if you are struggling, please please get professional help. It will help you sort out the reality. When you are being abused it usually happens slowly and you don't realise. Look after yourself please.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 11:40 AM
8

Yes girl! Sisters supporting each other. The best!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 09:20 AM
11

Omg hilarious
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 09:19 AM
155

And then there's Gym Bro Jim - just gym selfies, six pack abs, but a head like a smashed crab and can't string a sentence together.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 05:41 AM
6

I'm sorry to hear he's such an asshole. Good on you for getting out and staying strong. You can see his true colours now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 07:01 AM
7

Haha yes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 04:06 AM
53

Haha reminded me of a guy telling me he f*cks like a porn star. I said, 'like, with no regard for the woman's pleasure?'. So dumb.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 03:57 AM
13

Maybe all three lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 03:54 AM
12

Genius
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 03:47 AM
4

Glad he's an ex!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 12:37 PM
14

Interesting post. I have been spending quarantine working on this myself. Being more natural with my hair, no makeup etc and thinking this is how I should present myself to the world more often. I don't always have to be hot or sexy, I can just be me. It's quite liberating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 12:33 PM
13

Great response!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 09:25 AM
78

If you have to ask, you know the answer. Gut feelings are real. If something seems off, if you suspect he isn't treating you right, if he makes you feel bad about yourself etc. Run! Trust your own instincts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 09:22 AM
10

Came here to say this. You need more than a couple of months to reset.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 09:19 AM
19

Just date the right person and it won't be an issue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 09:08 AM
24

Sometimes it's a gift to you when someone is so unacceptably awful. You can move on with no questions marks. Level up sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 09:06 AM
4

This is good advice thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 10:17 AM
3

Welcome to the new, improved version of your life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 09:55 AM
4

I wonder if you're a bit dazzled by him and his career and money and flights and penthouses. In the cold light of day it sounds like you have reservations about him, his behaviour and his 1am texts. Throw in the age difference and it doesn't really sound right. Maybe your gut is telling you this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 09:55 AM
7

Ugh he sounds like a total dick. Rant away!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 02:24 AM
11

It's a f*#king national disgrace and I can't believe they just cut short the senate inquiry into this. I spent 2019 helping three women I love through their divorces from abusive POS husbands. These are smart, financially savvy and competent women. They were sucked into abusive relationships slowly over the years and it took them a long time to emerge. Which they all have now thank god. He doesn't have to hit you to ruin your life. He can manipulate you into whatever ways he wants to control you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 02:19 AM
5

Yes!!! Please listen to this very solid advice. And well done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 02:07 AM
8

I wish this was satire.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 01:57 AM
18

I wish this was satire.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 01:57 AM
5

If you have to ask the question, you know the answer. Your gut is telling you he's not good enough for you. He won't change. Get out now and enjoy your independence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 11:57 AM
4

Yes I feel good knowing there are other ladies out there happy to keep their standards high.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 11:44 AM
9

You won't be lonely for long. You have emotional energy to invest in friendships and activities!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 09:02 AM
8

Yesss! And always in the car with a seatbelt on. Whyyyy?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 09:20 PM
17

In my experience, being a smart and outspoken woman is not that attractive to most men. Don't get me wrong, they like me for sex. But yeah, one of many reasons I'm single AF.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 09:01 PM
9

This is so spot on. I never even clocked how my ex spoke to me in public, until I started getting out of the relationship. It took me a long time to see all the little ways he made me feel like shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 04:46 AM
1

Doing the Goddess' work, ladies. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 04:39 AM
8

I've been living with my folks during lockdown and I'm always reminded what HVM my dad is. Not just the way he treats my stepmum, but me too. Including bringing me coffee in bed ever day! Good dads are the best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 04:12 AM
7

Yay! The urban decay palette part is 👌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 04:09 AM
12

Very interesting. Thanks for sharing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 03:47 AM
3

And how damn tired of asking will you be by then?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 09:06 PM
2

You go girl!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 04:17 AM
3

Ugh of course there's a men's rights sub. What a delight that must be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 01:34 AM
3

Suggest a therapist to work on her self-esteem issues and then yes, tell her you don't want to be part of it all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 01:27 AM
23

When a man judges YoUr ChARaCtEr because you set a boundary, that's a massive red flag. Its gaslighting 101. Your gut is right. Listen to it and run.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 01:26 AM
12

I don't think it's a binary choice. I built a career while being in a relationship. The main challenge is finding a guy who is not threatened by your success. I think you're overthinking it a bit. Spend your energy where it feels right. But remember, your career will never wake up and say it's leaving your for someone else!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 01:21 AM
12

Yes it's messed up. You can NEVER trust a man to pull out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 01:06 AM
3

You know what you need to do. It will be the hardest thing you've done, but the only way to create the life you deserve. You're stronger than you think babe. Get out there and live.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 01:04 AM
5

Good on you sis. Stay strong!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 12:59 AM
9

If he doesn't listen to your preferences and desires now, on this one thing, what does that say? And what does it suggest for a future together?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 12:54 AM
10

Just wow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 12:45 AM
4

The absolute delusion 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 09:45 PM
20

Truth! It's estimated that financial abuse occurs in 99% of relationships with other forms of abuse. But abuse aside, money gives you choice and freedom and opportunities. It's all about power and we can take it ourselves!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 08:57 PM
26

Same here. In the 'old days' it was just an expectation. I had a phase of sleeping with younger guys a while back and holy moly I couldn't believe how they thought it was negotiable. And how many girls has agreed. If you didn't live through AIDS ads with grim reapers in the 80s, maybe you're not scarred enough. Or scared enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 08:55 PM
27

Why do so many OLD profiles start with wondering why they are on the app. Like, will we think more highly of you that you are there against your will? Do we enjoy men with a negative outlook? Baffling. As are so many, many aspects of men on these apps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 08:44 PM
12

I love hearing all these great stories! So many more opportunities to enjoy life once you know your worth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 12:00 PM
4

That's awesome! So glad you went back to uni.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 11:58 AM
12

Doing a kitchen is hard! Well done on all of the above. Great to hear.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 11:56 AM
13

Yes this! Relationships aren't about allowing or not allowing things. They are about expressing preferences or boundaries and having them respected.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 03:34 AM
4

Glad you're out of it. Onwards and upwards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 10:16 AM
5

He doesn't even understand the very basic concept of bumble, and that women have to message first. Just to add to the long list of red flags.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 09:00 AM
94

Once again giving men praise for showing a minimal level of decency. That's a no from me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 09:40 PM
8

On a related note, a guy I know is reading Pride and Prejudice and is confused about why Mr Darcy is the 'hero' because he's such a dick. ( I love Jane Austen but hate the whole Darcy plotline). Anyway I then explained negging and how Darcy was an early exemplar of the tactic and he was like 'ohhh right,' in a sad way. Sad because it worked on Elizabeth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 09:05 PM
32

Ewww I didn't even know that subreddit existed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 08:48 PM
12

I'm sure he gets a lot of matches. /S
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 12:05 AM
1

When you take a still from a movie it immediately loses its context. To me this just looks like a man being violent to a woman. I don't know, aren't you just sick of seeing that everywhere? Isn't it good to have forums where we don't need to see it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 12:03 AM
9

But do we need an image of a woman being subjected to violence to make the point?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 08:41 PM
4

I resonate with a lot of your story. I was always the sexually open girl and have chased validation that way a lot. But like you I have also struggled with painful sex at times. I'd say the thing that has helped move away from the sexy girl trap is basically going cold turkey. I just stopped dating and hooking up. And got comfortable with the discomfort of it. I also did a lot of internal work. I love life coach Brooke Castillo for tips about managing your mind. I still have occasional sex with …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 10:50 AM
11

Yup. Shoulda kicked him in the dick lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 08:17 AM
3

You won't change her mind. Just be there for her as a friend if and when it falls apart.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 08:11 AM
20

Number 4 is important. So damn much of popular culture is obsessed with this narrative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 08:05 AM
36

Yes, those subs can be summarised as "if you have to ask, you know the answer". But they don't want to act on it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 07:53 AM
6

Our instinct says one thing but our social conditioning says another. It sucks. I wish you healing and love and hope you have good people around you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 09:14 AM
9

Unbelievably loving but also jealous? Sounds super unhealthy to me. Appears that you are just going through the detox. The best solution is time. Give yourself time to gain perspective. You'll get through this hard part.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 02:26 AM
15

You were raped because he's a rapist. Perhaps consider that every time you blame yourself, you're also blaming other women who have been raped for doing or not doing something. I am sorry this happened to you. It's time reframe it though, and put the blame back on the rapist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 02:10 AM
8

The most neutral of arbiters. I love it! My very first boyfriend refused to stop at McDonald's on a roadtrip, for no good reason. I was hungry. It was the last straw. I dumped him soon after. We are actually friends and have been for years (it was circa 1995). But it's a funny story and we laugh about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 08:54 AM
5

He broke off your engagement by text? My god what an asshole. Enjoy your new-found freedom. Channel all the queen energy. You got this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 08:48 AM
71

I love how this was a test for Newbies. I passed (in my head)!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 08:34 AM
5

The flair is wrong. Not queen energy at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 09:29 PM
8

Yes and yes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 09:22 PM
3

Yep it does thanks
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 10:36 PM
2

This is a great insight, thanks. It's not who we are that they disrespect, it's our behaviour. That's helpful to consider.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 09:49 PM
5

This sub made me realise that it's ok to have standards and boundaries. I'd rather be single than settle. Like, I knew that already, but it's nice to find a community who thinks that way too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 08:57 PM
7

Good on you for levelling up! Keep giving off that queen energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 10:46 AM
3

All trye, but I just don't see the point of giving these idiots the time and headspace to critique their ridiculous ideas. Just let those Men Go Their Own Way ... right outta our lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 10:43 AM
3

Great work and good accountability.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 12:18 AM
9

If you have to ask then you already know the answer. He's not reciprocating your feelings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 12:16 AM
17

Honestly you need to practise being alone. Get comfortable with the discomfort. It took me years to work out I kept fuckboys around because I didn't want to feel alone. But pushing through that, I realised I am totally fine on my own, now that it has become normal. I have beautiful friends and family and that's enough. If a HVM comes along it's a bonus.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 09:25 PM
2

That's exactly right! Being ghosted sucks but I have taught myself to say "sometimes the trash takes itself out".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 11:57 PM
3

You know what, I went to the launch of one of her books many years ago, got a signed copy but for some reason haven't read it. I'm going to dig it out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 11:55 PM
3

Same girl. Same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 08:36 PM
3

God that sucks. It's so hard to get back up and start again each time after this shit happens. Sending hugs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 08:34 PM
17

This is wild. I love it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 12:03 PM
245

Carrie always gave off Queen energy👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 12:00 PM
4

I've been living with my folks during lockdown and am constantly reminded of the ways my dad is a HVM. It gives me hope that they actually exist!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 01:15 AM
3

I've been living with my folks during lockdown and am constantly reminded of the ways my dad is a HVM. It gives me hope that they actually exist!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 01:15 AM
7

I've been living with my folks during lockdown and am constantly reminded of the ways my dad is a HVM. It gives me hope that they actually exist!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 01:15 AM
11

Queen energy but omg what a lot of idiots
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 11:08 AM
24

Good work sis. That sweet, sweet ice cream ain't never gonna break your heart.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 10:57 AM
36

Don't leave us hanging. Did she dump his ass?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 09:28 AM
1

Maybe you need to think of it as a uniform, the way a cop or soldier does. It's what helps you get the job done that's important. Kinda sux, but so does the patriarchy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 10:50 AM
4

Babe you know that he's not good enough for you. You can't make someone else want to improve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 10:39 AM
6

First of all, you don't know who you are attracted to until you meet and get to know a bunch of men. A person can become more attractive as you learn more about them. Second, I have learnt over time that you should assume every guy is attracted to you until they prove otherwise. Honestly it's unusual that they aren't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 10:36 AM
9

Is he a HVM if he says these things to you? Sounds like he's arrogant and disdainful of your tastes. Maybe go back and read what a HVM really is, then review.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 10:26 AM
3

The inner work is hard but so rewarding. Don't rush it. It took me years to get over my failed marriage and to see how my pickme ways were hurting myself. I'm six years single now but damn I sleep well, enjoy my time however I want to, and feel good about my life. You can do this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 09:54 PM
6

Oooh this is such a great point. It's like free coaching. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 09:49 PM
22

You're allowed to have feelings about someone. The key is not to let them dictate your choices, when you know it's against your interests. Don't be too hard on yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 09:46 PM
7

This is great! Thanks for sharing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 09:35 PM
51

I'm sorry for your loss. She sounds like an absolute queen. So important to have strong role models around us, who show us what women can be when we reject the limiting narratives society creates for us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 08:36 AM
16

If only Men Going Their Own Way would actually just bugger off to wherever they are going, instead of trying to bother women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 03:40 AM
8

It's ok to be sad. It's ok to mourn a relationship that ended. Don't be afraid to feel your feelings. Obviously you can't live in the sadness forever, but honestly it takes time to get over things. Give yourself that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 11:20 AM
13

Ugh yes. When I tried to explain to my ex that his refusal to treat his depression was affecting my happiness too, he responded with "so I'm just the c-word who has ruined your life". He also made it a trait of his character that he would never apologise. Like, who just decides that's a cute personality quirk?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 09:13 PM
26

Doesn't he just sound delightful! /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 09:01 AM
7

They just want attention without facing rejection. So damn predictable. Just LVM shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 04:52 AM
5

Great to hear you've learnt from the experience. Onwards and upwards for you now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 04:48 AM
6

Oh yeah I'm conscious of removing 'just' from my emails fairly often. It's a lot of work being a bad-ass woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 10:35 AM
21

It annoys me how she has to put 'lol' at the end of the sentence. Like, she is softening the blow of standing up for herself. Let's not do that. Let's speak out about our boundaries without diminishing their worth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 04:20 AM
52

That's some serious self-restraint there, good on you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 04:11 AM
13

Hugh Grant cheated on Liz Hurley. With a prostitute. My god what hope is there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 11:04 AM
26

I don't believe in having time, I believe in having priorities. Helps me make many decisions in life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 01:01 AM
42

Yeah of all the ridiculous thing he said, that irked me the most. Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 02:02 AM
23

Honey, your revenge will be him continuing to be a lonely and unfulfilled idiot. Having a good job is no guarantee of his happiness. Feel your feelings, process the hurt then take it as a manual for what to avoid next time. And if that requires a break from dating then hey, is there any better time than now?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 03:12 AM
5

So much yes to this. Every year I age I get happier and more confident. I'm 41 now; I look forward to being a total queen decades from now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 08:36 AM
12

I've had four of these in one week. Boys bye.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 08:50 AM
2

Yep just got one!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 10:07 AM
41

"Don't stoop to pick up nothing." Courtesy of my grandma.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 12:21 AM
14

Sometimes the trash takes itself out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 07:56 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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