~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Just landed a 6-figure job with a new company. 💅🏼Since I finally closed down my prior position, I made my post! Check it out in the sister sub - Level Up Strategy! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/21 10:20 PM |
| 1 | Just landed a 6-figure job with a new company. 💅🏼Since I finally closed down my prior position, I made my post! Check it out in the sister sub - Level Up Strategy! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/21 10:20 PM |
| 1 | Just landed a 6-figure job with a new company. 💅🏼Since I finally closed down my prior position, I made my post! Check it out in the sister sub - Level Up Strategy! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/21 10:20 PM |
| 1 | Just landed a 6-figure job with a new company. 💅🏼Since I finally closed down my prior position, I made my post! Check it out in the sister sub - Level Up Strategy! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/21 10:19 PM |
| 1 | Just landed a 6-figure job with a new company. 💅🏼Since I finally closed down my prior position, I made my post! Check it out in the sister sub - Level Up Strategy! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/21 10:19 PM |
| 1 | Just landed a 6-figure job with a new company. 💅🏼Our stories are so similar! Former teachers - unite! Love those unexpected changes along the way - super inspiring story and I'm super glad you shared. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/21 10:16 PM |
| 9 | Do not project your moral compass and attitudes onto men - you will lose every time.Completely accurate. And brutally painful to realize in my life/marriage - a real fall from innocence as another commenter mentioned. One of the biggest reasons I stayed in an unhappy situation so long was because I felt that… since I was trying 110%, he must be too - he was just struggling/having a hard time, I should be patient. Isn’t that the “deal” you make when you get married? (Rhetorical question to myself…) That both people are committed to each other and trying their hardest? As it turn… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/11/21 05:22 PM |
| 13 | Just landed a 6-figure job with a new company. 💅🏼Exactly. You’re goals, lady. 🙌🏻 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/11/21 01:16 AM |
| 30 | Just landed a 6-figure job with a new company. 💅🏼Fair enough. There’s a few ways to discuss the idea - I appreciate your bringing this up. In this case, I’m excited and celebrating because I’m not behaving like a lapdog anymore. They were treating me shittily. I took it for 2.5 years, hoping that it would get better. Trusting that they would notice and advocate for me. My boss certainly knew my duties and point of view. So to finally decide - NOPE - and have that vindication of a badass offer from another company that they’re excited for me to… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/11/21 10:23 PM |
| 29 | Just landed a 6-figure job with a new company. 💅🏼THAT is what I’m talking about!!! Independence and the ability to say “NOPE” and be able to GTFO. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/11/21 10:15 PM |
| 23 | Just landed a 6-figure job with a new company. 💅🏼I was in finance, but I’m moving to tech! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/11/21 07:54 PM |
| 34 | Just landed a 6-figure job with a new company. 💅🏼Definitely a life lesson for me. Whew. New strategy moving forward!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/11/21 07:53 PM |
| 47 | Just landed a 6-figure job with a new company. 💅🏼Definitely lots of problems with the system. And I’m deeply grateful to see myself in a position to care for myself/my kiddos on my own - rather than be tied to someone I can’t trust to provide for us, you know? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/11/21 05:55 PM |
| 19 | Just landed a 6-figure job with a new company. 💅🏼Thank you!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/11/21 05:44 PM |
| 18 | Just landed a 6-figure job with a new company. 💅🏼Thank you! I keep thinking - wow, I just did that!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/11/21 04:40 PM |
| 16 | Just landed a 6-figure job with a new company. 💅🏼Thank you!!! 🤩 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/11/21 04:04 PM |
| 62 | Just landed a 6-figure job with a new company. 💅🏼Yes! I’ll make a post in the strategy sub that might be helpful to our community. 🤩🎉 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/11/21 03:52 PM |
| 477 | Just landed a 6-figure job with a new company. 💅🏼Have been with my previous company over 10 years. Pretty happy until about 2 years ago, and while I was asked to cover way more responsibility and an entire additional FTE role got lowballed with my raise/bonus for 2020. Decided to pull together my resume after another year of bullshit, and went from zero to a badass offer at a new company cracking 6 figure base pay with bonus opps, and a package including TENS OF THOUSANDS of dollars of stock… in 3 weeks. I am stoked to be leveling up. To show … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/11/21 03:13 PM |
| 56 | Help I’ve Become Absurdly Hot Since I Got Married and Now I Want to Dump The Only Woman Who Ever Wanted to Fuck Me So I Can Become The Porn Star Of My DreamsOh I’m glad you saw this too. As I was reading, I just kept thinking - GROSS. 🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/21 09:29 PM |
| 11 | Story Time: The importance of looking someone up on social mediaThis is an incredible insight. Wow. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/08/21 12:08 PM |
| 30 | Angry scrote literally admits that only 25% of men are dateable and women aren’t settling. Proceeds to get roasted by one of our queens 😂Holy shit, I can’t stop laughing. So glad you shared this. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/07/21 10:01 PM |
| 35 | Don’t you DARE settle for fine. 👑Won’t let me just ADD the video, but it’s super worth the 2 minutes. Hold out for ⚡️, queens. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/07/21 05:28 PM |
| 56 | Choose Yourself QueensOh my god. This was how I grew up - what I absorbed. That somehow, all the sacrifices and ‘suffering’ OF MINE were required, but it’d be worth it in the end when someone finally noticed and would care for me the way I was caring for everyone else. NOPE. That’s not how it works. It took me until March of this year to work that out, and it’s one of the hardest life lessons I’ve had to learn. Choosing me first takes a whole lot of practice, but I’m getting there. 💕 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/21 10:39 AM |
| 32 | Shift your energy, queens. 👑I needed it too!!! 🥰 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/21 03:39 AM |
| 3 | Absolutely not. Negging gone wild.The author? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 05:56 PM |
| 9 | Absolutely not. Negging gone wild.Great tip - I’ve got to practice this one. Thank you for the reminder. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 01:40 PM |
| 21 | Absolutely not. Negging gone wild.Me. Too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 03:49 AM |
| 104 | Absolutely not. Negging gone wild.Right!? I’d be fucking livid and I don’t have BDD. And I don’t need to have a disorder of any kind - be fucking considerate and kind. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 03:39 AM |
| 352 | Absolutely not. Negging gone wild.Yep. Exactly what made me stop in my tracks here. What the FUCK is the rationale behind anyone saying this at ANY time - regardless of whether someone suffers from BDD? He’s a fucking asshole. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 02:27 AM |
| 1 | Absolutely not. Negging gone wild.I appreciate her focus on healing herself, but I fucking hate the out she gives him of “he couldn’t have known how this would affect me.” https://apple.news/A0dJ-eOJ9QlWk_ddOOQ_aMw | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 01:46 AM |
| 22 | Avoid people who act victimised when you set boundaries and standardsThis both enrages and exhausts me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 01:38 PM |
| 45 | Avoid people who act victimised when you set boundaries and standardsWhoa whoa whoa. This sounds so similar to my life. We both have 7+ years of communications/customer service training - and he wouldn’t use it at home. WTF. Do you mind sharing the small boundary he trampled? I’m curious if I can learn from/relate to that as well. :-/ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 01:38 PM |
| 6 | Got a new, better paying job in May and wanted to reward my hard work. No one treats me better than I treat myself.Freaking epic. Love this. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/21 01:29 PM |
| 2 | "Stop waiting. Stop entrusting praise to others, especially to sad deluded men who think our bodies are theirs to judge."Whoa whoa whoa. This was an incredible read. Saving to come back to, and also shared with a friend. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/21 01:25 PM |
| 1 | This is so so true of my narc ex and why we do not repeat ourselves. You're wasting your energy explaining and re-explaining yourself - they simply don't care.Oh yeah. That’s already happening. Thank you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/21 12:03 PM |
| 64 | Wish I found this sub before being baby trapped.We can be your family. Such good advice from everyone here. Take care of yourself and your baby - and please ask for help. Sometimes you don’t even know what to ask for - and that’s okay. You matter. You are worthy. Thinking of you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 05:35 PM |
| 24 | Single? Happy?!?I’m several years behind you, and I’m so thankful for your story. I’ll be divorced later this year, and I’m so so so excited to be DONE with men. You are fucking awesome. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/05/21 02:19 PM |
| 4 | This is love.Thank you so much! Love that you shared. 💕 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/05/21 07:10 PM |
| 14 | Not holding men to a high standard while dating them because you're afraid they'll disappoint you is a self fulfilling prophecyEveryone is blowing my mind today with these posts. ✨ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/05/21 05:02 PM |
| 29 | This is love.Like many of us who have chosen N/Z/LVM, I’ve been working through TONS of guilt and shame in therapy about WHY. WHY did I pick him? WHY couldn’t I see it? WHY did I tolerate such shit for so long? Finding this this morning unlocked SO much for me. I love my parents, but everything I witnessed in their dysfunctional relationship felt like “love” to me. So I went out and found the same for myself. I forgive them. I forgive myself. I’m so glad to be here, and to be leveling up. Love you all. 💕 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/05/21 05:00 PM |
| 16 | Always felt Electra complex had something off about it. Now it makes so much more sense. I feel many other women can benefit from knowing this anecdote. From "Why does he do that?" By Lundy Bancroft.Holy shit. I want to read that original paper, and I’m also so fucking mad. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/05/21 04:53 PM |
| 37 | Men feel entitled to women's bodies and their sex. That's why they believe their words have any worth when they call women sl*ts or prudes. It has more to do with their issues than the woman.WHOA. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/05/21 04:45 PM |
| 7 | Listen to a new song, ladies.Right??? Stopped me in my tracks. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/05/21 02:48 PM |
| 5 | This is so so true of my narc ex and why we do not repeat ourselves. You're wasting your energy explaining and re-explaining yourself - they simply don't care.Thank you, I’ll dive deeper into her channel/work. In addition to this, he’s an alcoholic. This last year had been a fuck of a time. Going through therapy I see too how fucked this relationship has been from the start, and how much of my “normal” was actually wildly dysfunctional and toxic. Awareness sucks sometimes. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/05/21 12:15 AM |
| 16 | Found my next book.Oh we’re on that path. I cannot wait to be divorced by the end of 2021. 💕 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/05/21 12:13 AM |
| 24 | Found my next book.I WAS THINKING ABOUT AN FDS BOOKCLUB AS I DROVE TO MY OFFICE!!!! Yes for sure - I have no idea how to set it up but I love the idea and I’m delighted to share. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/05/21 08:06 PM |
| 44 | Found my next book.An analogy that really clicked for me was thinking about it like the operating system (OS) installed on a computer. So as a kid, you inherit a super basic OS, and based on your learned and lived experiences, you keep installing these add ons to keep the system running. Basically - you learn how to protect yourself and keep yourself alive. For anyone who’s lived thru trauma, those programs are likely not be healthy - but you wouldn’t know, because that’s your “normal”. But if you’re constantly op… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/05/21 07:14 PM |
| 9 | This is so so true of my narc ex and why we do not repeat ourselves. You're wasting your energy explaining and re-explaining yourself - they simply don't care.Thank you for the response. I know it’s not my path to walk or my responsibility to action on (for my husband). Just feeling a lot of feels on this one. :-/ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/05/21 06:10 PM |
| 125 | Stop sending paragraphs to men that don't care about your pain! No more explaining - use that time to help other women leave toxic/soul-sucking relationshipsFuck. Yes. I’m literally saving this to carry around with me as a reminder. We can be the lighthouses for each other. That’s where I want to spend my energy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/05/21 06:09 PM |
| 3 | Found my next book.Ha. Interesting take. Thanks for sharing! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/05/21 06:01 PM |
| 16 | This is so so true of my narc ex and why we do not repeat ourselves. You're wasting your energy explaining and re-explaining yourself - they simply don't care.I have not yet researched any of this, but - is there “recovery” from being a narcissist? This has been my life for so long - shackled to this scenario - I’m exhausted and done. I’ve made that decision and I’m good with it. But I am curious if people can ever get out of that condition. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/05/21 05:52 PM |
| 32 | Found my next book.This is a from a collection of essays, available through a variety of places if you’re seeking to read them like me: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/197801/politics-of-reality-by-marilyn-frye/ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/05/21 05:39 PM |
| 31 | Found my next book.Yeah. Just astonishing to think about MY WHOLE LIFESPAN since this was written. And here we are. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/05/21 04:59 PM |
| 26 | Found my next book.I’m ordering this collection of essays immediately. 🙌🏻 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/05/21 04:15 PM |
| 41 | Found my next book.I agree. I hope he can get healthier. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/05/21 03:57 PM |
| 14 | really important message to internalize especially if you've been through abusive relationships!Oh this is just right for me right now. Thank you. 💕 And the second time I’ve seen this new-to-me name - I’m going to look them up. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/05/21 03:52 PM |
| 133 | Found my next book.I do notice even with my own husband (so he’s married, we have children) how much he boxed himself out of touch and emotional connection with me and the babies as they grew up. And he wasn’t happy, but he never thought to ask himself “Why is this coming up for me? Do I want to be this way? Is this serving me? What can I do to act on this?” Then would get mad when I’d kindly ask those questions or invite him to participate and he’d turn me down. :-/ Fucking breaks my heart. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/05/21 03:48 PM |
| 39 | Found my next book.Fantastic insight. Wow. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/05/21 02:35 PM |
| 79 | Found my next book.GREAT question to ask! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/05/21 01:51 PM |
| 168 | #BossBabe Pick Mes: Stop Helping Your Boyfriend Run His BusinessMy mom moved to a new state a few years ago after her divorce. When she tried to date, she immediately noticed a couple of things: The general “good ole boy” attitude in that new state was pervasive with every. Single. Man. In her age bracket. 🤮 The men were shopping for an admin assistant, not a romantic partner. So - not exactly bangmaid/mommy (my age bracket) but bangmaid/CPA/secretary for their HVAC or welding ‘business’. My mom is a crazy successful woman. She’s got her shit together, and b… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/21 02:48 PM |
| 15 | Weekly FDS Check-inAmazing reminder. I have a studio space I just leased (can’t live there but for working/creating) and the internet is spotty so it’s been a challenge to be there. Today’s mission: resolve the internet issue with my landlord. Then I CAN be reliably out of the house more. Thank you so much. I appreciate your words so much. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/05/21 02:33 PM |
| 9 | Weekly FDS Check-inThank you thank you thank you. Your words have helped me re-center and ground myself. I’m so grateful to you for taking the time to connect and share. 💕 My husband will be out of the house a bit today - first time in weeks that I’ll have the house to myself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/05/21 02:28 PM |
| 14 | Weekly FDS Check-inLast week of work before a vacation with my kids. I haven’t had a vacation like this in... years. If ever. I’m excited but it makes it hard to focus this week too. :-/ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/05/21 12:27 PM |
| 19 | Weekly FDS Check-inLadies, I need a pep talk. I’m ‘stuck’ in a holding pattern, and I notice it’s driving me a little crazy. I’ll file for divorce in August, but that means I’m here for the next 3 months (and then there’s a 90 day wait period in our state). Things are fine. My kids and I are safe. But it’s like a cloud of depression/anxiety is here with me as I’m living in this house with my husband in the meantime. I’m anxious about housing post divorce. But it’s not something I can action on right now, so it’s j… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/05/21 12:25 PM |
| 14 | Men are not being silenced; they are being held accountable 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼Oh I loved this. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/05/21 01:19 PM |
| 21 | To My Divorced Women- How Are Things?I kind of can’t wait for the “bitter divorcée” label, honestly. I’ll feel like I’ve ‘made it’. 🤩 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/05/21 02:26 AM |
| 25 | To My Divorced Women- How Are Things?Working towards divorce and this post is giving me LIFE. Yes yes yes - congratulations, sisters, and I canNOT wait to join you!!! 🍾🎉 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/05/21 02:24 AM |
| 25 | I love Reductress. They cover a range of topics, I just grabbed ones I thought you all would like. 👏I can’t stop laughing - omg. 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/05/21 02:23 AM |
| 2 | “Set boundaries, find peace”I’ve been wrestling to articulate my frustrations with this topic. Super thankful for all your comments. Saving to come back and reflect. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/05/21 01:16 PM |
| 5 | Don’t change your last name for a manLovvvve this! I’m still testing out some ideas, but I think I’ll pick a meaningful word for me and my story. Happy choosing. 🤗 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/05/21 08:47 PM |
| 5 | Don’t change your last name for a manGreat call out. I’m planning on choosing my own last name when I divorce as I don’t love my maiden name. 💕 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/05/21 01:59 PM |
| 11 | I prefer taking myself out on dates✨Ah thank you. It was such a lovely weekend. 💕 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/05/21 09:36 PM |
| 35 | I prefer taking myself out on dates✨I just took myself to a fancy hotel for a night. Went out for drinks last night. Had yummy room service breakfast in bed. Had high tea (table for one!) and now I’m waiting for my pedicure appointment. This is goddamn lovely. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/05/21 07:45 PM |
| 28 | This scrote has an affair, wants sex from his wife and fames it in a way that makes it seem he just wants her to be happy and wants sympathy because she won’t sleep with him?!? This is from his point of view so who know what’s really going on in this relationship...Oh my god. This is my husband right now. 😖 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/05/21 12:49 PM |
| 33 | FDS is more supportive towards single mothers than the actual single parents subOh my god. A lightbulb just went off for me, so now I’m journaling my heart out. I always wanted children. I knew it would be ‘hard’. I’m just now SEEING how much harder it was BECAUSE of my husband, and my heart is breaking for myself. Society’s message on single moms creeps in, and poisoned me. “This terrible shit is happening BUT AT LEAST IM NOT SINGLE.” Gaslighting myself. No, darling. If you were single, it would have been challenging AND you’d be wrapped in love and support. You wouldn’t b… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/05/21 12:42 PM |
| 112 | I got divorced today! 🍾🎊🎉Congratulations!!! 🍾 I can’t wait to post this later this year. 🤩 How’s the view from the other side?? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/05/21 12:24 PM |
| 2 | Weekly FDS Check-InOh it’s been so interesting to see the patterns. I’m up to something like session 10 now and yep - it’s exhausting. Self care, rest, patience are so important. 💕 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/05/21 12:08 PM |
| 2 | Weekly FDS Check-InThank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/05/21 12:07 PM |
| 2 | Weekly FDS Check-InOh you too, lovely. 💕 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/05/21 12:07 PM |
| 18 | Wife is in critical condition in the hospital, man blames lack of resources for fathers while spending paternity leave playing video gamesYou know what sends me? Hearing all these fucking guys saying “the love of my life”. NOPE. If that were the case, you’d be giving it your all. ‘Trying with all your might’ as my 4 year old would say. Of course we all go thru shit. But this isn’t how you treat THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. This is lazy, entitled, unreciprocated bullshit and calling it otherwise is disrespectful and frankly - gaslighting. Don’t try to convince your woman that your half-assed (or negative value) treatment is the best she’… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/05/21 01:04 PM |
| 5 | Patterns Of Thinking And Behavior Often Displayed By NarcissistsI am doing therapy weekly, currently EMDR sessions to process my trauma. Thank you. I’ll practice how that sounds in the scenario I just made it through. :-/ Thank you. 💕 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/05/21 01:19 AM |
| 6 | Patterns Of Thinking And Behavior Often Displayed By NarcissistsI literally feel crazy. And like I couldn’t win - no matter what I had said, you know? Can you write a post about ideas on how to fucking cope with these tactics? I’m trying to get out but I need something to survive thru the next few months. Thank you for your response. I’m crying now because to be heard feels so important right now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/05/21 12:48 AM |
| 4 | Patterns Of Thinking And Behavior Often Displayed By NarcissistsI swear to god. I just had a “conversation” with my husband and let thinking “what the fuck just happened?” And “I wish I recorded that” because I am so confused and frustrated and I am confident these tactics must have been used. I’m proud I didn’t let it get to me - like goad me into heated responses. But seriously - what the fuck? How can people expect to live like this? I’m so fucking frustrated right now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/05/21 12:41 AM |
| 1 | Weekly FDS Check-InThank you! 🥲 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/05/21 12:39 AM |
| 8 | How to get closure – while blocking & deletingAfter I completed step 3, I took everything I had written “to him” and burned them ceremoniously. 🔥 (Not my journals - I had written the notes to him separately so I could banish them from my world. Words I wrote to him didn’t need to take up space in my continuous journal that I love. 💕) Loved this post - thank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/05/21 06:49 PM |
| 3 | Patterns Of Thinking And Behavior Often Displayed By AbusersOh my god. This list is so many of the things as I reflect on my marriage to an alcoholic. Super sad, and super grateful for the list. Saved. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/05/21 12:14 PM |
| 2 | Weekly FDS Check-InThank you! 💕 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/05/21 11:20 AM |
| 20 | Weekly FDS Check-InI took myself out for a nice lunch (fam celebrated with me on the weekend). Enjoyed food, read a book of poetry, had some champagne (the waitresses paid for it for me!). AND THEN I came home and painted and it’s the most awesome thing. 🧚♀️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/05/21 02:38 AM |
| 5 | Weekly FDS Check-InThank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/05/21 07:55 PM |
| 5 | Weekly FDS Check-InThank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/05/21 06:37 PM |
| 16 | Weekly FDS Check-InThank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/05/21 03:31 PM |
| 104 | Weekly FDS Check-InToday is my birthday! So grateful for this community. I’m about to head into an EMDR therapy session, so it’ll be a good day - but a hard day. I’m processing rage at the moment, and honestly - being here is helping me with that. I can’t think of another way I’d want to start being 38. Awake, pissed as hell, and working toward divorce. 🎉 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/05/21 02:36 PM |
| 12 | Beware!Fucking OOF. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/05/21 07:59 PM |
| 8 | Reminder: Mamas, you CAN do this alone - you don't need that ScroteThank you. Thank you. Thank you. Today’s been hard. I’ve been scared. Doubting myself. Letting fear about housing make me wonder if I really should leave. Reading this helps me remember myself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/05/21 07:14 PM |
| 5 | Are you kidding meI love that you’re teaching this gifting skill. Way to go, lady. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/21 10:00 PM |
| 10 | Are you kidding meAmazing. Glad you get to be celebrated. 💕 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/21 10:00 PM |
| 4 | Are you kidding meFuck all of that. I’m so sorry. I’m so glad to hear you’ll do something for yourself this year. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/21 09:59 PM |
| 10 | Are you kidding meIt just breaks my heart. I’ve been broke as fuck - and maybe my bar is too low but just any fucking effort at all would be delightful. Schedule a sitter! Cook something! Take the kids somewhere! Ugh. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/21 09:14 PM |
| 14 | Are you kidding meOhhhh my god. I did some initial research and digging on the difference between. It’s nauseating the search results returned for Mother’s Day vs Father’s Day. I can’t believe I never NOTICED it before. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/21 09:05 PM |
| 25 | Are you kidding meDude. Yes. What breaks my heart - my husband is a combat veteran. He has very real trauma. BUT HE HAS NEVER SHOWN INTEREST IN LEVELING UP. So when I heard that initially it was part of the story of “I spent so much time in life and death situations, holidays seem meaningless to me”. Okay. But why then make me feel shitty and less-than for wanting to celebrate? Why not get over yourself to help your wife or children celebrate their stuff, but opt out for yourself if it’s not your jam? If he wante… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/21 09:04 PM |
| 31 | Are you kidding meTotally agree. I’m coming to terms with how I appreciated “stuff like this” a few years ago. Women supporting women! Passing on knowledge! Fuck. That. Shit. I had no idea how deeply I was being gaslit and that I had a trauma bond - not a healthy relationship. I’m glad the articles helped me feel less alone. But I’m so so sad that no one spoke honestly to me/around me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/21 06:45 PM |
| 29 | Are you kidding meAlso!!! Congrats on the preschool news! That’s a huge deal!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/21 06:09 PM |
| 49 | Are you kidding meFucking THRILLED for you!!! And you’re right. I’ll prioritize doing something for myself. Thank you for the encouragement! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/21 06:09 PM |
| 43 | Are you kidding meI can’t wait to be divorced. I hope your days are better now. A museum day sounds awesome, TBH. I’d go with you! 😂💕 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/21 06:08 PM |
| 44 | Are you kidding meI think everyone’s in on it. Because that serves the current culture right? Be quiet, don’t make a fuss - that’s easier for everyone if you swallow your disappointment and rage. Oof I’m mad today. 😬 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/21 05:41 PM |
| 46 | My personal projectThis is so rad. Thank you for sharing! I can’t wait to hear how it goes, and I’m going to consider how I can do something similar with the women in my life. Maybe I can’t network into jobs, but there’s other stuff I could do for sure. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/21 05:32 PM |
| 73 | Are you kidding meWhat crushes me is having expectations. Talking about them. Having a husband I thought loved and cherished me. And then getting blown off or ignored - and now that’s BAKED IN to the culture. Instead of blowing up at men and demanding better, we’re just nursing this disappointment and training each other to “deal” or lower our expectations. The bar is in hell indeed. I’m done doing it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/21 05:29 PM |
| 36 | Are you kidding meAbsolutely. It’s lonely and sad and depressing as fuck out here ladies. I know you can do better than me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/21 05:27 PM |
| 126 | Are you kidding meMy birthday always falls on/near Mother's Day. I'm a mother too. Every year, this timeframe is such a weird mix. My birthday is my favorite - always has been. My husband has never given a shit - "birthdays and holidays aren't important to me." This is an entire swath of PickMe culture. Make sure you CoMmUnIcAtE your expectations, because men/partners aren't mind readers. Lower your expectations, mothers. Here's how to manage your disappointment when you're inevitably let down. I feel sick. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/05/21 04:31 PM |
| 147 | Scrote wants pity for getting dumped after stringing ex along for 10 years.Yes. This. “Oh I’m finally getting called on my bullshit? Let me say how much I had ‘planned’ and how many ‘good intentions’ and how you’re totally overreacting.” 😐🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/05/21 10:46 PM |
| 167 | “Don’t keep score in your marriage! 🥰” is patriarchal propaganda. If we tallied and kept score, there would be millions of divorces.Yeah. I “get” the vibe - staying negative about shit all the time sucks. But you’re so right. Why the fuck would I ignore the WILD imbalance for yearsssss. Who does that benefit? Certainly not me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/05/21 10:43 PM |
| 3 | Rooting out pickme instinctsLove this call out. Silly 18 year old me did NOT do this - so I’m making sure to do it now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/05/21 02:10 PM |
| 27 | Rooting out pickme instinctsTattoo coverups are always a thing to explore. In case - my tattoo is a simple outline, 18 years old, and faded. So I’ll be redoing/reclaiming this space and art on my body to create something that I’m awake and intentionally choosing for ME. Fuck the male gaze, fuck society, fuck anyone else’s opinions but my own. I’ll literally overwrite what’s currently on my skin. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/04/21 11:21 PM |
| 4 | I DIED With This! HILARIOUS!!Oh my god today has been such shit and this makes it better 😭😂😭😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/04/21 10:21 PM |
| 50 | Rooting out pickme instinctsThank you!! I’m super naive but SO GLAD to be leveling up. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/04/21 09:11 PM |
| 20 | Rooting out pickme instinctsGoooood to know. And thank you. So much bullshit in this world. 🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/04/21 09:11 PM |
| 4 | In order to manipulate you, they don’t need to be more mature than youThank you so much! I’ve been in close partnership with my therapist and doctor throughout. Stepping back from work and drawing strict boundaries at home has been super helpful. Wishing you health and peace as well. 💕 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/04/21 06:07 PM |
| 7 | In order to manipulate you, they don’t need to be more mature than youI feel all of this so deeply. I collapsed in March and took a leave from work to recover. I notice: how much of my personal/work time have I had to spend to cope/recover/heal? And he just - gets to coast. Ugh. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/04/21 12:59 PM |
| 40 | Trying to get rid of my own pick-me BS fantasiesThis is the one that resonates the most with me. I have fantasies too - and mine are mostly about someone to come and provide for me - ride off into the sunset, fabulous wealth, etc. Now - part of this is exactly what FDS is all about. Finding a HVM who has his shit together and wants to provide and always be on the best side of vetting. But... i know that for me right now, that fantasy stems from being chained to a situation for so long where I’m the only breadwinner. I’m the worker. I’m the hy… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/04/21 12:34 PM |
| 40 | Trying to get rid of my own pick-me BS fantasiesThis swap strategy is SO helpful for so many things. Thank you for sharing! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/04/21 12:16 PM |
| 82 | Being repeatedly ignored sounds sooo fun! Let's get hitched ASAP! 🤡 Why is this normalized?Can confirm. It’s a thing and I don’t fucking understand why. It sucks. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/04/21 12:12 PM |
| 9 | You can't change a LVM, much like you ou can't change a HVMSee I’ve been wrestling with this whole thing today. Because “how can someone know how we’re feeling unless we tell them”, right? But you nailed it. A dear friend spoke up a couple of years ago and said something like - “hey it hurt my feelings when I shared something that was bothering me, and you immediately jumped into your own drama - I didn’t feel heard.” I was surprised (rarely do people in my life state boundaries and share emotions like that, she is the highest value friend I have)... an… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/04/21 12:23 AM |
| 44 | My small guide for the "BIG" event of meeting the family.These are phenomenal tips. I adore the pivot from “they’re not vetting you, you’re vetting them.” Adopting this mantra from here on out - even though I’ll never marry again. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/04/21 03:32 PM |
| 92 | The real reason you shouldn’t date “frugal” (cheap) menHoly shit - I’m just at a loss for words. You handled that amazingly. Learning from you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/04/21 09:16 PM |
| 6 | Strategies for responding to stupid rude “joking” demeaning comments from menAbsolutely love this. Will keep this handy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/04/21 05:40 PM |
| 20 | Strategy: 40+ FDS women - the long-game.So appreciate this post. I’m not there yet, but my heart and gut are telling me - never again. When you talk to her, I’d be curious to know what upsides she perceives to the possibility. I’m glad she has you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/04/21 04:54 PM |
| 24 | Helping other women out - stranger editionThis is exactly the type of person I want to be and surround myself with. Thank you for sharing! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/04/21 04:26 AM |
| 2 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?Thank you so much. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 10:14 PM |
| 2 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?I am so so so excited to reclaim “flourishing”. I’m starting already. It breaks my heart to think about everything my mother gave up and lost - and I’m so grateful for all I have in front of me. Thank you for sharing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 10:14 PM |
| 2 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?So glad to hear from you. Thank you for sharing, and I’m so thankful your daughter has you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 10:12 PM |
| 5 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?So so glad to hear your story - thank you for sharing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 10:11 PM |
| 8 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?I’ve read that one - thank you. And the other “you should have asked” comic strip. It’s just - exhausting. What the fuck. The only time I’ve ever felt... energized and equitable is when I’ve lived with a woman - however briefly. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 10:07 PM |
| 3 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?So glad to hear from you - thank you. I love this perspective as you move forward - I’ll focus on this as well. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 08:40 PM |
| 2 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?Oh kudos to you. Thank you so much for sharing. 💕 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 07:13 PM |
| 3 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?Thank you!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 06:07 PM |
| 1 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?Thank you so much for speaking up and sharing your story. I love hearing that you found yourself and your strength - and thank you for your support! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 06:06 PM |
| 2 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?I absolutely love hearing this. Reparenting, boundaries, emotional maturity... what an exciting, beautiful time it is! Thank you so much for sharing. I’m so grateful. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 06:04 PM |
| 4 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?Flattened. This is just right. Thank you so much for sharing - I so value your insights. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 05:06 PM |
| 6 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?You absolutely hit on something that I wrestled with - was tormented by - so much of last year. The willingness of so many people to just accept the behavior - and stay. I appreciate learning how to detach. But I am not willing to detach and remain the only committed, vulnerable, trusting partner. That is not possible. For me. So. I’ve detached. And now the rest will be centering my life around me and helping me be the healthiest and most fulfilled I can be. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 05:05 PM |
| 5 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?Thank you so much. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 05:02 PM |
| 8 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?Oh how deeply do I appreciate hearing from the other side. Thank you. And let’s not ever doubt our intuitions again. They’re always right. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 05:02 PM |
| 8 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?Oh, my heart feels this. I’m so glad we’ve found our people. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 05:00 PM |
| 6 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?Damn damn damn ladies. ALL MORNING with the tears of gratitude and love. Thank you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 04:58 PM |
| 5 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?Oh I want to splash SO MUCH of what you just said everywhere. T shirts. Posters. Embroider that shit on my pillows. LOVE. Thank you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 04:58 PM |
| 8 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?Thank you SO much. My youngest is starting kinder this upcoming year. What a pivotal, dynamic time to be in. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 04:57 PM |
| 6 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?Thank you for sharing. LOL at “the dream”. :-/ I had a moment of fierce gratitude that no matter how hard the last several years have been - AT LEAST I NEVER STOPPED WORKING. I had lots of thoughts on this more broadly, but at the least - if I had and was trying to re-enter the workforce - I’d be making less than half of what I’m making today. Making it that much harder for me to live my life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 04:56 PM |
| 5 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?Thank you, thank you, thank you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 04:54 PM |
| 4 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?Thank you for reaching out. We’ve got each other here. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 04:53 PM |
| 8 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?Meditation has been so helpful. I also just completed a 30 day yoga program and I’m rolling right into another one. Thank you. 💕 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 04:53 PM |
| 8 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?Thank you so much. Your whole last paragraph - I just need to keep some tissues handy today. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 02:15 PM |
| 11 | Ladies, can I please hear your success stories on divorcing abusive partners?Thank you! I love the post up above from christmasforoutlaws. A couple of things to add based on my experience so far: - It depends on what country/state you're in. I felt SO much better after having a free consultation with a divorce lawyer. I was able to talk to her for about 45 minutes about ALL my questions so I understood my rights and how my actions would be perceived by the court. This helped me frame the rest of my strategy. - It also is a big consideration if you have kiddos to think ab… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 01:38 PM |
| 13 | Ladies, can I please hear your success stories on divorcing abusive partners?These are all great tips - Thank you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 01:34 PM |
| 25 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?Thank you for sharing your perspective. I am being mindful on the label of 'codependent' - and that's a great call out. It's not necessarily who I am forever. What my therapist and I are working through is this nest of beliefs and behaviors intertwined because I grew up with an alcoholic father - so my perceptions of 'normal' and 'safety' and 'comfort' (AKA what I sought out in my partner) were so warped from the beginning. All last year, I bashed my head against the wall trying to understand "b… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 01:29 PM |
| 10 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?Yes yes yes. That's the scary part, right? Being willing to set it all on fire - to lose everything you have now - to come into the new start. That is scary as hell. And we've been taught not to listen to or trust ourselves - that we CAN make it through that - we CAN build something beautiful for ourselves. Thank you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 01:20 PM |
| 17 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?Yep. And this is why I needed to be here too. I need this perspective in my life. THANK YOU. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 01:18 PM |
| 15 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?Yes. This in-between space is challenging - I'm navigating that too. I'm confident you're walking through this with as much grace as you can muster, and I'm always around to swap strategy ideas if you want/need. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 01:17 PM |
| 10 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?So powerful. I was reflecting with my mother on that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 01:16 PM |
| 10 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?I absolutely love this mindset. Thank you for sharing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 01:16 PM |
| 45 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?My ex also started to care once I was leaving him as well. Too little too late. They will claim we should have “communicated” all these years but we were. They chose to ignore it and take advantage until they realized there would be consequences. Yes. Exactly. I'm choosing not to share what I'm learning in therapy, because I don't want to give him more to fight with me about during the divorce proceedings. I've been saying all of this for years. The worst/best part? We both work at a place with … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 01:15 PM |
| 8 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?Thank you so much for connecting. So grateful. We got this. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 01:11 PM |
| 8 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?I'm so thankful for your kind words. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 01:11 PM |
| 6 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?Thank you so much. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 01:11 PM |
| 4 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?Thank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 01:10 PM |
| 12 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?So glad you got out. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 01:10 PM |
| 10 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?You're here! I see your comment! Thank you for sharing - and I am so fired up happy that you found your way here at 23. There's always ebbs and flows, but to be AWARE so early - woman, I'm delighted for you. I hope you're doing well with work and within the life you're building for yourself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 01:09 PM |
| 6 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?Thank you, thank you, thank you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 01:07 PM |
| 16 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?Thank you. Exactly. My mother and I have been reflecting on this, and it's harrowing the depth and breadth of the toxicity we all breathe from birth. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 01:07 PM |
| 22 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?It's one of the main reasons I wanted to participate here and not just lurk. It's like all of you are helping me catch a wave - the energy shift was happening on my own, but you are helping me with the momentum. Especially helpful on the days where the anger has vanished and all that's left is the exhaustion and sadness. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 01:06 PM |
| 12 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?Thank you so much. I saw your username a few days ago and chuckled - I love it! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 01:05 PM |
| 15 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?My heart breaks for you too, but I'm also so glad that you diverted energy into yourself. You are so worth your investment and care. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 01:02 PM |
| 61 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?Jeez, I'm tearing up over here. Thank you. I saw some joke-y thing about how this sub has ruined songs/movies for women, and it's SO true. As I was cooking the other day, a song came on and I had to switch it off. Complete and utter brainwash-y garbage in the form of a ballad to perpetuate the message. My therapist is so wonderful. After my first EMDR session, so much was kicked up in my emotions - and I asked - what do I do with all the anger?? And she was happy to hear about it - "anger is an … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 01:01 PM |
| 38 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?I so appreciate this reminder. Sometimes I trick myself into thinking "things need to be fixed/changed RIGHT NOW" and that's not true. I have a plan and timeline. I have my entire life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 12:57 PM |
| 20 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?I'm not ACTUALLY glad to hear that, but I am glad to connect. I'm glad we've woken up and come out of the fog. Thank you for sharing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 12:56 PM |
| 64 | Any other shattered women finding FDS “late” in life?"I'm so awake it hurts." Yes. This, exactly. Thank you so much - that's the wave that keeps crashing. That feeling of betrayal - over and over and over. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 12:51 PM |
| 4 | The✨mandacity✨This articulates something I've been struggling with in my marriage for YEARS. So wildly frustrating, and I simply don't have the energy for it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/04/21 11:48 PM |
| 6 | Has anyone else felt better about their body/personal ownership during the pandemic?I can absolutely relate to this. It's so empowering to feel that sense of peace, and I intend to hold onto that for the rest of my life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/04/21 11:44 PM |
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter