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fireflower413 Archive

View 0 posts and 102 comments by fireflower413 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

True.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/14 10:04 PM
2

All good points.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/14 10:04 PM
2

http://prospect.org/article/how-pick-artist-philosophy-and-its-more-misogynist-backlash-shaped-mind-alleged-killer Funny, this article is all about how the guy subscribed to PUA fora and such, and how the way that his mind was twisted was forged into a weapon for killing hot women because he was fed a lot of bullshit about alphas and betas. There are plenty of ways to see the issue, and he was definitely severely mentally ill, but I don't think that it's really valid to say that TRP needs to exi…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/14 05:47 PM
5

You seriously don't think that's manipulation? Manipulation: (various entries talking about moving things with your hands, and) "to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one's own advantage." I didn't say he was abusing her, which if you read the rest of the context he definitely was, but it's hard to argue that "berating and kicking out of the house" doesn't count as a controlling, unfair behavior. The fact that she didn't know better than to let herself be ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/14 08:51 PM
3

I agree. Unfortunately, a lot of advice on TRP says "do this and you will get to have sex." Meanwhile, there are plenty of non-virgin 29-year-old nice guys who have girlfriends and sex. Get in the right situation and meet the right person and apparently you can have that no matter whether you're a nice dude or a psychotic asshole. At least TRP doesn't (always?) advocate going after young girls with issues because they'll be afraid not to fuck you.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/14 08:28 PM
11

It's....not really manipulation to express wanting to do something else besides sex and then get shouted down for it. It IS manipulation to express wanting sex and then kick her out of the house if you don't get it. The one doing the manipulation in this case is the guy. And the one doing the justifying is the commenter on TRP who blames her for the whole thing because "she didn't HAVE to have sex with him, she just did and then complained about it afterwards." As though it's unreasonable to fee…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/14 08:19 PM
1

Libraries, book stores, coffee shops, movie theaters, night classes, writing workshops, gemstone trade shows, hikes, whatever the individual person is interested in. As with a lot of Red Pill advice, my advice is to follow what YOU are interested in, which is unrelated to finding a girl, and thereby find a girl who is interested in the same things. Spending your time at a bar because you don't know where else to pick up chicks and don't have anything else to do is going to net you chicks who spe…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/14 04:11 PM
1

Uhh...okay, well, we'll, uhh. Put that one on the table. I have no answer for that just because that's not how it works for me. Interesting, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/14 01:30 AM
1

Wellllll no. I mean, sexual attraction is more of a physiological reaction. Wanting to have sex with someone is a motivation.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/14 12:51 AM
0

That's fair. Thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/14 12:51 AM
1

Not in every case. In this case, it implies that it's something commonly known which is advantageous to know.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/14 12:50 AM
1

That's not asshole behavior. Asshole behavior is saying whatever they want to get into their pants without actually meaning what you say. There's a big difference between "Hey, you're super hot and I want to fuck you" and telling her that you like her just so she'll sleep with you. One of those is easy for people who like it to reward, and easy for people who don't like it to deflect (as annoying as it is). But lying or manipulating someone's feelings (male or female) is always asshole behavior.…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/14 06:14 PM
1

It's not that I think "people who don't understand it are stupid." It's that I legitimately think that it actually works that way ("it" being that there are at least two factors that go into your attraction to someone) for about 99% of people, and so even if it doesn't work that way for you, you should be aware that it works that way for others...not in a "if you don't, you're stupid" kind of way but just in that it's better to be aware, so learn if you hadn't. Is it really that common to only j…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/14 06:10 PM
0

If you're asking me what I like about my boyfriend, most of it is in fact connected to his niceness - but that's just because he has a nice personality, so most of what he does and is is nice. The way he treats me, his friends, and waiters, for instance. The way he cares for his cat. There's other stuff like shared interests, but there are interests that we don't share, too, for both of us, and either of us could be as compatible with someone else with those other interests, if we had never met …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/14 06:07 PM
1

Except that sexual attraction is not all that it takes for me to want to have sex with somebody. Whether it's triggered by niceness or domineering behavior. Do other people really have such low standards that they'll fuck anybody who hits one "sexual attraction" point for them?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/14 06:02 PM
1

That's still bad advice. It's geared towards driving the seeker of advice in a specific direction, that is, away from behavior that the advice giver deems threatening/distasteful, regardless of its strategic value. "Constantly being reassured" is not what young men actually need. They need cold, hard, even brutal realism. Not sugar coating, not reassurance, not skimming over or minimizing. The reassurance I was talking about isn't skimming over or minimizing. It's just pointing out another side …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/14 06:01 PM
1

You're missing the part about me, and women like me, existing as a not-actually-that-impossible-to-find category. I assume that, all things considered, men in general would rather act like the people they chose to form themselves to be, rather than the assholes they've grown up thinking were terrible people. I'm trying to tell them that they're looking in the wrong place for that, but that they can still be themselves and be successful. Just with different women. You're still missing the point.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/14 05:54 PM
2

Uhh....yes? Obviously? Kind of like being dominant is necessary for other people, but probably insufficient if you can't form a coherent sentence. Oh wait, they're likely drunk, never mind. Can you honestly tell me that you have a single criterion and ANYONE who crosses the threshhold such that they can be considered to have that quality is then compatible with you in every other way automatically? Because if you can, well then I stand corrected. But if you can't, then you're just leveling some …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/14 09:45 PM
1

See my other reply, mmmstarchy. Same deal.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/14 09:37 PM
2

Not even a specific person, though. A specific demographic. By being dominant you specifically appeal to people who like dominant men. And you specifically turn off people like me, who, contrary to popular TRP belief, do exist in some numbers, but usually don't frequent bars. The specific things you can do to appeal to women who like nice guys are things like, I dunno, being nice. And also looking in right places. Of course, then there's the matter of priorities...since most girls who like nice …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/14 09:36 PM
0

You say that, but you're also getting a huge confirmation bias by looking for girls who like dominant men. You're looking for girls who like dominant men by being dominant. The ones who frequent places you don't go, who avoid you, are afraid of you, or think you're an asshole...contrary to popular TRP belief, those women aren't just stupid frigid bitches who want a beta to pay for all their stuff. They're counter-examples. They find things attractive that aren't what you're doing. The fact that …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/14 09:34 PM
2

That's partially because they're pointing it at the wrong people. Not that I disbelieve that it's somewhat rare, but it's a common trait among almost all of my female friends, so it's not impossible to find. ...Probably very hard to find in bars though, or places where people stereotypically go looking for a quick hookup. Again, looking for a quick hookup is also not going to land you a girl who likes nice guys, because nice guys are probably not the optimal quick hook-ups (because, I assume, ot…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/14 09:31 PM
2

Well, (1) I didn't say it was his only attractive quality. But (2) yes, niceness is enough to make me sexually attracted to someone. I have literally never met a person, including people with physical deformities, to whom I could not be sexually attracted if they were nice enough. It's very rare for me to be sexually attracted to a guy before knowing him, and even if I were by some chance of aesthetic beauty, if I met him and he acted like an asshole I would immediately no longer be sexually att…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/14 07:27 PM
-2

His niceness is attractive. To me, maybe not to everybody, but it is. Why is that so hard to understand?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/14 07:13 PM
1

Yeah that's fine. No problem, whatever. The distaste stems from hearing over and over and their way is the only way, and knowing that they're telling people whom I would be attracted to, to stop acting like that because "girls don't like that." It's very alienating and it's really unpleasant, and it's kind of like if a bunch of girls were talking in front of you, and say, they were under the impression that all men like bright red lipstick, and so they tell the younger women this with their "yea…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/14 07:12 PM
0

It depends on whose attraction you're trying to form, doesn't it, whether or not you will be able to form it by doing specific things....
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/14 07:08 PM
-1

Haha I don't know if I'd throw out a blanket stereotype that all of them suck...some people really do just prefer to be single, or really do just prefer casual sex...or can't afford to have a relationship because they travel a lot or something, you know. There could always be a reason other than them just being terrible. And on the other hand, there's really no accounting for taste. But yes, it's a very specific subset of people who are in the position of looking for this type of thing, and the …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/14 06:55 PM
2

If the other 30,000 would downvote it it wouldn't be noticeable on the front page of TRP now would it...
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/14 06:26 PM
0

Except that "attractive" is completely subjective and you can't actually group people like that. I'm probably unattractive to a lot of people, but that doesn't mean that I'm objectively unattractive - or at least, my boyfriend would beg to differ - and therefore you can't group me into a category of "unattractive" - except to you. Everything about attraction is subjective to each individual person. It doesn't work just because you say that it does. And it's only useful if you're aiming for a spe…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/14 06:25 PM
2

I was mostly with you up until "...and as you can imagine, successful with the ladies." Considering that the very descriptions of those guys you were talking about, the hyper-masculine ones who beat gays to death etc., make me want to puke, I can't help but point out that you (and the rest of TRP) are missing the large percentage of women who DON'T WANT THOSE THINGS, and whom you can either get access to specifically by not doing those things, or whom you can alienate by trying. Seeing that some…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/14 11:22 PM
3

By "today's swarm of beta men" do you mean "every man in history who got famous writing lovesick poetry back when poetry was the cool thing to do"? Or maybe "the millions and millions of non-Achilles-like men who populated most of Earth for the entire span of humanity's lifetime, who looked up to Achilles but never emulated him because they liked living at home with their wives"?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/14 11:08 PM
2

Wait, what? That's not what she said. She said that some women like those (hyper-masculine, aggressive) types and some don't (like her, or me, or any of my friends). The fact that TRPers keep running into ones who do like them hyper-masculine probably has something to do with the fact that they approach them with pick-up lines about pounding their pussies, and everyone who doesn't like that is gonna get right the fuck out of there stat, leaving behind a confirmation bias consisting only of the p…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/14 11:01 PM
2

Yeah except once they hit like -5 total score, hardly anybody else sees them or has to bother thinking about it. Those -700 scores are just the number of people willing to open the hidden link, and then downvote it even more to make sure it stays that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/14 10:55 PM
6

How is this gaslighting? She's saying "Hey I know you think people like this don't exist so allow me to point out that I am a counter-example." You choose to interpret this as "...and therefore you're stupid." No, the only stupid thing is ignoring evidence - as TRP so often claims "betas" are doing. Why can't we all just accept that everybody is different and some strategies work for attracting some women and other strategies work for attracting other women?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/14 10:51 PM
1

I'm sorry about your experience doing research science, because my experience doing research science opened up my eyes to how amazing and interesting and beautiful the world is. I don't say that because I want to rub it in your face that you feel that you've lost something...I say it because I want to stress that your experience is not universal, and your way of reacting to what happens to you is particular to you. Relationships in general leave scars on everyone, but some people choose to pick …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/14 10:42 PM
5

Based on this comment, I thought the article was going to be about TRP. It's insulting to keep pointing out to red-pillers that they think women have the emotional and mental capacities of small rodents, only to be told that "no we don't, where did you get that?" only to point out the examples from TRP to them to be told "well you were supposed to ignore that particular example, and that one too, because only 1,000 people upvoted it and those guys don't matter." Right. So yeah, your comment make…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/14 10:35 PM
3

You're the one talking to ME about anomalies? Seriously? When your entire argument is about how something is "central" to feminism? Okay I had decided I wouldn't feed the trolls, shutting up now.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/14 04:27 AM
6

it's one of the central premises of feminism with regards to men You're still misquoting me. I haven't backpedaled on anything that I said. I said that hating men was stupid and provided no benefits, and that most feminists don't hate men. And you're still insisting that most feminists do hate men, that in fact it's "central" to feminism. Once again, I'd love for you to listen, but you're repeating over and over exactly what I predicted you would be, without listening to the answers. You're wron…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/14 09:38 PM
7

No, I was implying that women who consent to having sex with guys whom they don't like, and who obviously don't like them, don't have standards or preferences. So that's probably a little meaner than I wanted to be. There are women with no standards and preferences, though, and what I really meant to imply was that by adopting a red-pill inspired playbook, you are going after specifically those women, and others, i.e. the girl at the bar who happens to be genuinely attracted to assholish behavio…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/14 09:02 PM
6

Men have girlfriends, daughters and mothers too, you know. Yes, I do know. And some of those men look down on women for being women. Did I say that all men are misogynists? No, I did not. Did I say that no women are misandrists? No, I did not say that either. Why are you intentionally trying to misquote me? Meanwhile, back on topic, Feminism doesn't have any qualms saying most men are misogynists You're just re-stating the comment I already disagreed with. You're equating "some feminists" with "…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/14 07:27 PM
1

It's really amazing how people will challenge something you say, like "you clearly didn't read anything about it, why don't you show me where you got that ridiculous horseshit?" and then when you source it directly from TRP they stop replying. It's like they actually can pretend that everyone is just making stuff up about their precious subreddit when really it's the subreddit. Other people referencing how ridiculous it is, exposing its shortcomings, just makes them react viscerally with a chall…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/14 06:54 PM
6

Eeeexactly.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/14 06:47 PM
11

TRP is a vicious cycle. First, it's a bunch of men who want a lot of sex, but historically have had trouble getting it by means of begging, wheedling or otherwise attempting to convince. They try the whole "nice-to-you-because-that-will-make-you-owe-me-sex" thing, but the women that they try it ON are wise to it, dislike it and reject them. And then those men, in order to make themselves feel better about being rejected, decide that what they failed to get was something they didn't even really w…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/14 06:22 PM
9

What makes you think that no feminists have boyfriends? I mean, I understand that you've convinced yourself that no man would ever willingly date a feminist unless he was extremely pussy-whipped, but it doesn't seem to have occurred to you that by deciding - on your own, by the way - that all feminists condemn "all men, whatever they do" you are saying that they all secretly hate the men that they love, fathers, brothers, boyfriends, husbands and sons. I hope you can see how stupid that is and h…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/14 05:25 PM
1

Oop, sorry :x
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/13 07:28 PM
3

Oh, good. For a while there I thought the world was worse than I had thought it was before.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/13 10:02 PM
2

All relationships are the same Holy cow. You figured it out! You broke the code! Just kidding. You found out what works for your girlfriend and makes her want to fuck you. Nice job! Now you get to be the boss because she wants you to...sounds like a good dynamic if you both like it, and I won't knock it if it works for you guys. But holy sewage, is it obnoxious to say "all relationships are the same" because your girlfriend likes you to act like a douchebag. Some girls are into that, yeah. Me, I…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/13 07:02 PM
5

Are....you sure those weren't satire posts? Because wow that is a whole lot of crazy if not. Short answer no, either way.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/13 06:39 PM
1

There are probably women whom these criteria work for. They are the women who WANT a "red pill relationship." And it's not that there's no merit in that. It's a dynamic that historically has worked in a lot of contexts, and has often been the only option for women of a given culture...to support her man's life and not live a life for herself. However, it doesn't work for everyone. I used to aspire to the same thing: to fade seamlessly into the life of the person that I loved as though I was part…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/13 05:48 PM
1

Yes, but instantaneous brain chemistry can be tempered by sitting back and thinking, "wow, sure he's hot, but he's really jerking me around and won't let me know where I stand." A person with enough self-awareness to evaluate logically whether she wants a relationship like that would leave the relationship, while a person who is not self-aware enough to understand the effects of his actions on her would stay. So naturally a more intelligent person is less likely to put up with the strategies lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/13 05:01 PM
2

Well the thing is, OP basically created a strawman about which nothing intelligible can be said. She's a hypothetical girl whose actions are kind of strange but whose motivations we can only make up in our minds to justify, because she doesn't actually exist so neither do her motivations. She might, if she were real, have a very good reason for saying what she said, and since it's an odd thing to say it's worth assuming that she did. And her reason might mitigate your "well this is a waste of ti…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/13 03:58 PM
2

The way you phrased it, though, was that "most belief systems" are built on contradictions. As if "digging deep" into an "average" Democrat's point of view (assuming even that these things can be averaged out that way) would reveal these fundamental disconnects, not that it would reveal a different reasoning from what criticizers think those people are using. What you're saying now is that /u/not_any's argument was disingenuous because while he thinks TRP is based on contradictory beliefs, those…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/13 07:30 PM
2

Depending on the girl, probably? The whole hypothetical situation OP is discussing here is kind of pointless because it's an odd thing to do, so IF a woman were to actually do that, she'd have some motivation that I don't know about...like intimacy issues...but the only way it's really a problem is if your entire intent in even going on the date in the first place is to have sex with her that night.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/13 07:26 PM
2

And then she says, Uhh, no, we're going dutch? Why would I be paying for your meal, I don't expect you to pay for mine...?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/13 07:20 PM
2

Yes, thank you for this. So much discussion around here seems to forget that you can actually read people's emotions...probably because so much of the advice is "hide your emotions and play it cool" or whatever. Most people aren't constantly hiding behind a facade and you can actually take cues from their facial expressions if you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/13 07:19 PM
3

Hahaha this made my day.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/13 07:16 PM
2

I'm probably in the minority here, but I've never kissed a guy on the first date. If I had decided consciously to make a habit of that, of reserving my kisses for dudes I was going steady with, or saving it for the second date, or whatever, then I could see why someone would get tired of guys moving in for the kiss when they didn't feel ready to give it and might just say "look before you even try just know I don't want to kiss you" and expect him to respect her wishes. It's a weird situation bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/13 07:13 PM
2

Well another problem is that there's no quick, easy answer to your question. Your date was doing something that I have never done for any reason, so I have no idea what her reasoning was or what she meant by it, or alternatively, planned to gain or prevent by it. If you want a quick and easy answer, though, here's my take on it: it's generally best to take her at her word, because if it's a "shit-test" she's dishonest, and if she's honest with you, she's honest. Then again, I'm an idealist and a…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/13 07:04 PM
3

Your error here is in assuming that everyone who is in what you would call a "protected class" is protected for no reason. The reason that it's a hate crime when you kill a gay guy and carve "faggot" into his flesh is because that fucking happens. Nobody is going to carve "fucking straights" on your corpse, so that's not a hate crime. If some sort of gay gang actually started doing that to straight people it would get classified as a hate crime, but that doesn't happen. At least not often enough…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/13 06:45 PM
2

Sex is handed out like candy in a candy store Women as gatekeepers of consent Aren't these kind of...contradictory? If you're claiming that sex is so available as to be so devalued as to be described as being "handed out" as freely as that, then where do you get off saying that there's a gate, that women are blocking your way, and that you're justified and "beyond moral criticism" in your attempts to get through? You basically just said in the same breath that there is no gate and that women are…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/13 06:33 PM
5

I don't see how opposing the death penalty and being pro-choice are at all contradictory. The death penalty is the state deciding to kill someone who has (at least according to its best knowledge) done wrong. Being pro-choice is the mother having a choice whether or not to abort a fetus which has done nothing, and about whom it is arguable if it has feelings or thoughts. These things aren't parallel in any way that I can see and so aren't comparable...in my opinion. What is your basis for using …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/13 06:20 PM
1

I'm sorry to hear that...but if it helps, I sometimes find myself swinging a conversation towards my own issues if it's because I'm trying to relate to someone else's. (Here I go swinging the conversation towards myself, right.) But it might not just be that she's self-absorbed and inconsiderate, but maybe that she wants you to know that she's been there, she understands, you can count on her. Maybe it just came off totally wrong, but what she wanted to communicate to you was actually support, b…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/13 08:50 PM
1

It's kind of short-sighted, in my opinion, to classify people the way you are. 98% of the people you've met may actually think less of you for expressing emotions, but that's highly doubtful for a very simple reason: most people have more important things (to them) on their minds than to be bothered worrying about what some other random guy is doing. If you go around town begging people to hear your sob stories that's a little different, but being an emotionally open person doesn't have to invol…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/13 07:23 AM
2

To back up that I wish I could give you gold?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/13 01:48 AM
2

Well I'm glad you can sum up your views in such a succinct manner. I feel enlightened. I wish I could give you gold for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/13 01:45 AM
4

Well, again, only if it's false. But this does explain a lot about what you said, and given that perspective it's a lot easier to understand a person feeling that way. In that case, then yes, it sounds like if a person is accusing you of systematically and constantly and intentionally undermining her sanity, then unless you're actually doing it, it sounds like she'll have been stewing on it for a while without trying to communicate her feelings. That would be tantamount to compiling a list of "t…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/13 01:41 AM
2

wow? That doesn't answer anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/13 01:35 AM
2

Wow in a post about something being "just a buzzword" you sure used a lot of buzzwords. Do you think it's not true that there are people, a lot of people, who dislike or distrust women as a group and will look down on someone, disregard her views, restrict her rights or act with antipathy towards a person specifically because she is female? Do you doubt the existence of those people or that sentiment? If you do, then you can doubt the existence of misogyny, but that would be stupid, because ther…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/13 01:31 AM
3

I read a thread on TRP the other day which claimed that women fundamentally lack loyalty and are simply biologically incapable of it. Then I went on RedPillWomen and found someone talking about her absolute devotion to her Alpha boyfriend. I find it very difficult to reconcile these things.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/13 01:24 AM
2

"It is perfectly natural for males to perform displays that are public and costly" implies "some amount of males" and does not accuse them of compromising any sort of societally, religiously, (or emotionally or biologically) important value that it is expected of him to uphold. Even if we were to assume that "whore themselves out" doesn't mean literal prostitution (which it obviously doesn't, since not all women are prostitutes... or is TRP arguing that all women are prostitutes? Because that's …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/13 01:23 AM
6

An overreaction that would do no good for anybody. OP assumed that we would all automatically assume that he'd never actually gaslight anyone and that therefore an accusation was automatically false...but he failed to realize that by stating that that would be his reaction, he set himself up as an example of exactly the type of person who disregards what his SO thinks and doesn't respect her viewpoint or feelings at all. So of course he's going to seem like exactly the person who would be gaslig…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/13 01:15 AM
17

The problem that they had with it (okay I can't speak for them; I'm only in this sub, not that one) might not be that false accusations aren't worth treating seriously, but that you never gave any indication that those accusations WOULD be false. You say "false" here, but what you really originally said, and made it clear especially in your edit, is that you would react to ANY accusation of gaslighting with cutting off communication. Just being TOLD that you were abusing someone would cause you …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/13 12:43 AM
1

Everybody's a hypocrite, somehow, I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/13 01:45 AM
2

Haha, sorry if it wasn't clear that I was using "patriarchy" sarcastically. I was referring to people who, the minute you say "yeah beards are pretty sexy" will go all huffy on you and treat you like you're scum and are somehow retarding progress by thinking that. I absolutely agree with you that it's a shaming buzzword about 99% of the time it's used, at least on the internet, but what you might not know is that it's often used to shame women too. Seriously, it's become a political statement wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/13 02:14 PM
1

I don't think it's really reasonable to WANT to be mad at women (or anybody) for being attracted to something. But being attracted to something and demanding something are different things. I think it's fine if men want to repress their emotions. But I disagree that it's fine for them to "have to". It's okay for anyone to do anything for himself, as long as it doesn't hurt other people, and it's okay for anyone to be attracted to anything they want. Or it should be. People just like to get reall…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/13 02:28 AM
1

That is very interesting, I agree. However I also know that those societies were formed primarily of traditional Jewish people, so it's not like they came from a vacuum of culture - nor would it be accurate or useful to assume that the culture that formed within the kibbutz itself wasn't applying significant pressure on people to have these gender roles despite what they wanted or what was best. I wasn't there, so I don't really know. But I agree that in some ways traditional gender roles make s…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/13 02:19 AM
2

It's funny that you say that, because I decided shaving my legs was far too much bother about 2 years ago and haven't seen any social consequences. Of course there are probably snippy people who gossip behind their hands, but I've generally embraced the not-give-a-fuck mentality to the point that I can just roll my eyes at them for how much more they have decided to worry about what other people think. Even for something as small but with such universal pressure as shaving one's legs I've found …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/13 02:10 AM
1

No problem at all :]
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/13 02:02 AM
2

That's probably true, sadly...as I mentioned in a different comment, I REALLY wish more women weren't brainwashed about this, just as much as men, really.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/13 02:02 AM
2

Oh, and the point I was making with the bottom part was that people advising others to aim towards a certain strategy (no offense but it often seems to me that that's what TRP does - everybody be an alpha, that's what women who have sex want from you!) are often the people who have tried that strategy, hooked up with people who want to hook up with people like that, and then assumed that if they had tried a different strategy, they would not have had success. That the only way to be confident is…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/13 01:22 AM
2

Yeah, I'm really enjoying it, even though my general opinion hasn't changed much, but more been reaffirmed by the feelings expressed. I hope the people who came here wishing to find help have found it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/13 01:19 AM
2

I'm sorry if I echoed the words of people with different feelings from me. I'm not offended at all! I'm just a little bit sad that people actually think that because women don't overwhelmingly experience attraction to their particular brand of personality, that that means they're doing something wrong. Using "women like x" as a reason to do x is fine as long as x is something you want to do anyway (in which case that should be your reason) - but as soon as you introduce "women like x (and theref…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/13 01:18 AM
2

Oh, no, I think it's a common expectation. But a lot of guys seem to "wish they could" not do it, and I just want to be that beacon of light that says, you can be who you really are! Trust yourself and stop worrying about what society thinks! Of course there are people who will expect all the norms from you, but you don't have to follow them if you don't want to, and my boyfriend is the example that I have to put out there of a guy who's doing just fine being who he wants to be, and hasn't exper…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/13 01:01 AM
2

That movie is heartbreaking. And no problem! It's not that I would advise all men to express their emotions more than they already do, but you obviously feel like it's a problem for you, and you wish it was otherwise...and I promise you, there's a happy ending in there for you. Just be who you are and someone (hopefully many people) will appreciate it. My boyfriend has said that the friends who will support him emotionally are the best friends he's had, and I've seen him cut out people who were …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/13 12:58 AM
3

My boyfriend and I are like this. It's awesome. Not crazypants...it's a good thing to keep up as long as it doesn't escalate into one-upmanship.
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/13 12:55 AM
1

Posting this to both of you: It's really good to see articulate people debate two sides of an argument civilly. It's amazing how I can agree so heartily with both of you. Thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/13 12:52 AM
1

Posting this to both of you: It's really good to see articulate people debate two sides of an argument civilly. It's amazing how I can agree so heartily with both of you. Thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/13 12:52 AM
2

That is a dude who knows what he wants.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/13 12:42 AM
1

Oh man, that is very interesting and rather depressing. Honestly I wish gendered pronouns didn't exist for babies.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/13 12:39 AM
1

I've been going through this thread being that woman who's attracted to "girly" men ...and I'm glad that you found a woman who wants what you are. I think a lot of people in this thread make the mistake of thinking that "women" are all attracted to the same thing. Really, I think people just get so worked up thinking about how they should be, how other people should be, what's worth being and what's wrong to be. But it's stupid. Just be who you want to be, like you are, and you'll find someone w…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/13 12:38 AM
1

Everybody can be allowed to cry if they want. I don't have a problem with people feeling the way they want to feel but there's more than one dude in this thread talking about how he wishes things were different, and it seems like there's a significant percentage of men who just never learned what my boyfriend learned, which was that you can say fuck it to all of those things and just be yourself. If you, or any other guy wants to follow those norms because that's who you actually are, then that'…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/13 12:33 AM
3

Stop doing it. Stop doing it. I wish I could have my boyfriend make a video series where he watches sad movies with you (you being any guy who watches the video series) and cries with you and then when you make fun of him, he says "why? what's wrong with being sad about sad things?" "why? why do you think it's fine to tell someone else how to feel?" Seriously dude, fuck stoicism. If you hate it, stop doing it, go to therapy, I don't know, but it's not too late to save yourself from being the way…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/13 12:27 AM
1

I absolutely hate when "women" are cited as doing something or feeling something. What if I have the completely opposite reaction? What if I'm not alone? Why is no one listening to us? Meanwhile I've dated guys who stonewall and guys who don't, and I have a marked preference for not stonewalling, and honestly it's just not worth having a partner who won't communicate with you, who won't allow you to see him as a person who feels as much as you do. So, why are "women" attracted to these traits? B…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/13 12:24 AM
2

Being a rock for a man when he needs one is a fulfilling nurturing, and (controversial word to throw around here I'm sure) feminine thing. I feel the most like a worthwhile person when I am needed, and I think that that's common for women, so I don't understand why people say that women want guys who don't ever have emotions. Taking care of the person you love when he needs you is desirable, and if you have a relationship in which that is reciprocal and you can each depend on the other, then you…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/13 12:18 AM
3

Not all women. The women who are attracted to emotional guys are going to reject you if you strike them as stonewalling and distant. So you get a constant cycle of reinforcement that what women want is hyper-masculine guys who talk in grunts and keep the same facial expression all the time. Sure, SOME women want that...and if that's how you manage to get women, then you're doing that right. If that's not who you are, find a different woman, I guarantee you she's almost certainly somewhere within…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/13 12:13 AM
2

It's all in your heads, guys. I wish it wasn't there at all. I wish that you encountered more women who weren't similarly brainwashed so that when you show evidence that you think and feel the same way that women do, they would know how to handle it. I wish that very much.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/13 12:10 AM
0

Maybe it's rude if you ascribe importance to the kind of people that don't actually care about you. Women who don't want to know what their men think or feel can't possibly love them...at least, that's how I feel about it...and if my boyfriend held back his emotions from me for the sake of being manly I'd be gone. Luckily he survived adolescence with his emotions intact, unlike everybody else here, it seems.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/13 12:09 AM
3

My boyfriend's expression of emotion is the thing I love the most about him, and the fact that in order to be himself he says fuck it to convention and pressure is the icing on the cake. My last ex was distant and emotionally stonewalling and I beat myself against that wall until I broke. Stonewalling works for some people and in some relationships, I'm sure, but I'm never going through that again. Men who can be themselves are MY fetish and if I ever need to look for another guy, that will be a…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/13 12:07 AM
1

http://male-feminist.tumblr.com/post/32522679726/why-using-the-draft-as-a-weapon-against-a-feminist-is Here's a blog about the history of feminist action with regards to the draft. http://www.socialism.com/drupal-6.8/?q=node/2788 Here's socialism.com's viewpoint on it. I am not a member of any feminist organizations so I don't have any anecdotes for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/13 12:00 AM
3

Why do you ignore the comments that say "there are major feminist groups working for the undoing of these laws too" and just focus on the ones that almost manage to hint at implying that there isn't a problem but only if you take them out of context? Nobody said that feminists don't support getting rid of the draft but you. I personally don't want the draft, because I don't want the men I love to be drafted any more than I want to be drafted myself. Not because I'm a woman and I think I'm a deli…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/13 01:40 PM
2

I think it's more that "you shouldn't be nice with the specific hope of sex in return" that they are trying to say. If you're nice to me, I'll be nice to you, and you have the right to expect that someone you treat well will not mistreat you. But being nice to me doesn't mean I'll sleep with you...and I think it's honestly misandrist to suggest that any man who is ever nice to any woman is always doing it because he wants to sleep with her, so I don't understand why some men have problems unders…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/13 01:08 PM
11

Very well said...and furthermore, what he's basically saying is "The Daily Show, because it is not real news, does not exist to make the world better in any way...and does not serve a legitimate purpose." As though the Daily Show does not point out things that are worth thinking about, or true, just because it says them in a funny and sarcastic way. It satirizes, and mostly it satirizes certain political leanings, that's true. It does situate itself against something that is serious and has actu…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/13 12:58 PM
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