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fixanymarriage Archive

View 0 posts and 41 comments by fixanymarriage on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Hey man, sorry to hear everything you're going through! It's not necessarily over for your marriage. Can you try these two things to fix it? Give them a try for 3 months. Get your act together. Work out, get your sleep, take of yourself, and work on self-improvement. Make sure you're responsible in everything. Find your life purpose and pursue it. Without pressuring her, invite your wife into that purpose. Lead the family, don't let her lead. Set boundaries for the family, especially for her. Wa…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 04:02 AM
1

So does your comment then. My comment was 100% written by me, on the spot. So what "reads like AI" to you, actually isn't. Run it by an AI detective if you want.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 03:33 AM
1

Let me just be warmer It's not "just being warmer". I listed three items, but if you want to continue the path you're taking that's on you. Your marriage issues, as counter-intuitive as it sounds, may simple be miscommunication issues. You may not be understanding her feelings, which is what she needs. For example, look at how you communicated with me dismissively and didn't even get to the core of what I said. If you're doing the same with her, you're missing out on one of her most important fo…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 03:30 AM
0

This is the biggest load of BS I have seen on here. She still wants you even now? It's because you're oblivious to the way women are. Yes, she still wants him. That's the way women are. They still want their man. Once they get the place of being able to want a divorce, they have had literal years of thinking about it and planning for it. By that point there is o reconciliation possibility, at least none that a man with any self respect and self worth would tolerate. Yet, many married couples rec…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 03:23 AM
–

Sounds like you're still married and she's still living in the house. If so, it's pretty easy to fix your marriage, but you have to do the right things. And you won't get good advice from 90% of the guys here. Most of them are extremely hurt, bitter, and can't see right from wrong. Here's how to fix things: Switch from cold, calculated, and documented to warm-stoic, calculated, and documented. The only difference is "cold" to "warm-stoic". And you still have your bases covered with the "calculat…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 07:44 PM
1

I haven't solicited anything. Grow up.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 12:29 PM
1

This relationship is over and probably in his best interest to end it. "The pizza is eaten and probably in the best interest to consume it". Please don't reply to my comments until you work on your reasoning skills. They have been married for married 15 years and together for 20. This is supposedly the first time the woman has acted this way. There are many, many marriages that go through a spouse saying she/he wants a divorce and make it through stronger. It's very easy to win a woman's heart b…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 10:26 PM
1

Okay, good luck in life.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 09:16 AM
1

Can you join me in reality rather than your imagination? Instead of making stuff up, try staying on topic. Or at least touch snow.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 08:40 AM
-2

You’ve built this cosmology where he’ll do these things and her attitude and the relationship will definitely improve. But that’s not guaranteed. It is. Exceptions prove the norm. It's like saying exercising is beneficial and someone objecting because it's not guaranteed and may actually result in death. Exceptions prove the norm. Doing these things could just as easily make it worse. They won't. Relationships take two people. Yes, and the tone of relationship is set by the man. You ignore the f…
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 08:35 AM
-2

You're weak too. You have no clue what strength is. They've been married 15 years and together for 20. Supposedly this is the first time she's acted this way, and the guy responds with "I'm sort of thinking maybe I should go ahead and get a divorce"... over some mean things said one time? Come on, man up. You're acting like the woman.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 07:47 AM
1

I didn't mention making someone infantile, nor would following my advice result in that. Being a leader isn't "[putting] on a dog and pony show". I don't have the time to respond to comments like this. You're not engaging with what said, but rather with your imagination. I wish you all the best.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 05:46 AM
-1

And you and those down voting need to grow a pair.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 05:30 AM
-2

Once the husband starts leading properly, the wife's demeanor completely changes. She starts respecting her husband and treating him well. The husband always sets the tone for the relationship (even if it's by neglecting responsibility for setting the tone and allowing her to set it, which never turns out well).
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 05:30 AM
-10

Here's what to do about it: 1. Get your act together. Pursue your life purpose and bring her along on the journey. Lead her. 2. Want her like you did when you first started dating her. Learn to understand her. Listen to her without getting defensive, without arguing, without resigning. Do not respond with logic, but rather just listen and understand here, even when she's completely wrong. More on #1: - Take care of yourself. Get your sleep, eat a good diet, and exercise. If can't take care of yo…
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 04:34 AM
-12

TL;DR Become strong by taking care of yourself, constantly improving yourself, and taking leadership in your marriage. Set boundaries. Want her, but don't depend on her. Always respond stoically and responsibly to challenges. Bro, you are weak. If anyone here tells you otherwise, ignore them because they are feeding you nonsense. Let's build you up and get you strong though. You got this! First though, let's go through understanding the weakness so that you can counter-act it. Here's how you're …
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 04:34 AM
2

It's because she still wants you. She wants you to be her knight in shining armor, swoop her off her feet, and rescue her. She wants you to want only her and be uniquely hers, and to understand how she feels. Even now after a year of separation and seeing other people. She wants you date her like you did when you first got her. And she needs you to be her emotional protector. She needs to be able to tell you her raw feelings and for you to understand her. Those aren't eternal feelings, just what…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 04:53 AM
-1

It depends on how he handles himself. Men set the tone of the relationship, even if it's by subjugating responsibility. The hidden account was likely during a rough patch in their marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 04:22 AM
1

If the account was used during your marriage, yes. The subpoena request would happen during the discovery phase of the trial. IMO, it's better to work out your issues together rather than going to court, which can get quite costly if you're both using lawyers.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 03:58 AM
1

Platonic really? After 7 years together, helping her after her brother died at 32, helping her after her grandparents died, building a home together? Yeah, so she definitely likes you and thinks highly of you! It's just that she is a woman and different. For her to crave physical intimacy, she NEEDS that emotional connection through your purpose. Usually, it comes through having a family with children, but not always. Although you've shared your purpose with her, it doesn't include her in the pi…
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 09:25 AM
3

Hey man, So sorry you're going through this! My heart broke for you while I read this. She has "Walk out wife" syndrome (AKA "Neglected wife" syndrome). Look it up, study it, and understand it. She checked out a long time ago. She feels burned out and has nothing more to give. Every single day feels like living with someone who’s already left the marriage emotionally, but just hasn’t said it out loud. That's because she has. And she's told you exactly the reasons why and you didn't listen/unders…
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 08:46 AM
2

You have a very interesting situation! Here's my take. You generally have your act together. But, you're missing your greater purpose in life or at least you haven't shared it yet. You've built up wealth, your body, and have your expensive toys, but what's the point? You're having fun, have your hobbies, but there's more to life than entertainment. You need some life goal that you're working on and you need to bring her into that, so that you develop a deep connection. That deep connection comes…
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 06:55 AM
1

Here's how to fix that: 1. Tell her you want to have a special night with her where you just sit down and talk, face-to-face, at the dinner table after the kids are in bed. You'll make her some coffee, herbal tea, or prepare some snacks. 2. During that conversation, ask her how she's feeling. Just listen and understand her. 3. Bring up, "In group session, you mentioned you're not into sex and hates touch, I'd like to understand why. I won't pass any judgement and you're safe to express your true…
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 05:54 AM
1

Awesome work on that front, keep it up! Your situation is different than Supermotomike's situation. I'll break it down and be very specific. She just says in group session she’s not as into sex as me and hates touch. Boom, there it is! This indicates that that she's struggling with her body image, feeling lovable, and good enough. For example, if you've watched porn during your relationship and she knows about it, she is struggling with feelings of not being uniquely pursued (ie uniquely wanted)…
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 05:54 AM
1

Yeah, no. You're clueless if you think that and you're getting that result. Just like the guys that are down-voting my original comment. That's like writing, "I'm good at basketball, still I only shoot 20% from the field". Yeah, no. You're bad at basketball then. If you're the leader of the family, how are you getting action only every 3 months or so? It's because you're not leading, at least not leading well. Hard truth to swallow, but it's the truth. Rhetorical questions for you to consider: W…
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 08:41 AM
2

Here's what I would do in your position: Tell her you want her, but you really want the person you fell in love with. Tell her she doesn't treat you the same as before. Tell her you want to understand why and understand how she's feeling - judgement free. Then just listen. Don't explain, don't defend yourself, don't make excuses, don't interject, don't use logic, don't try to fix anything. Just listen and understand her, even if she's wrong. When she gets really emotional and hurts you, just lis…
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 08:22 AM
4

What I would do: Document everything. And I mean everything, including the times you talked to her about it. File a violation petition or motion to modify the parenting plan, especially since she ignored a drug retest. Not to be dramatic, but your kids' lives depend on you. Her failing a drug test and ignoring the retest is the biggest red flag.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 05:09 AM
5

Here's how to do it: Never, ever, ever raise your voice at her again and never, never hit anything out of anger again. I don't mean don't yell. I mean don't even raise your tone. Decide to do that. It all comes down to a decision. You know exactly the type of situations that set you off. So before you ever get angry, you decide you will be calm and stoic. Always choose to be stoic and calm. This is non-negotionable. Immediately, start working on improving yourself. Start exercising at home, star…
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 04:58 AM
5

Look up the laws for your state since every state varies. When married, many states assume the husband to be the father unless it's challenged in court. That said, during and after the 7th week of pregnancy, a non-invasive paternity test can be done. Get one done and do NOT sign the birth certificate if the baby is not yours. Furthermore, depending on the state laws, the court can order a paternity test to be done. If you can afford a lawyer, get one.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 03:18 AM
1

Hey man, Glad you're here! If I were in your position, here's how I would approach it. Start taking care of yourself, focusing on yourself, improving yourself, and protecting yourself emotionally. Work out, eat healthy, and prioritize your sleep and rest. Find your purpose and focus on it. And always think positively about yourself. Get your act together. Figure out your finances so you're not dependent on her. Be okay with going with less, but having peace and self-respect. Stop thinking about …
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 04:59 PM
4

Hey man, sorry you're going through all this! I hope everything works out okay for you in the end. You can't control her actions. The only thing you can control is yourself and right now the kids need you. Take care of yourself so you can take care of them. Work on improving yourself, rewarding yourself, and loving yourself, so that you can continue being an amazing man and wonderful father. You got this!
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 05:49 AM
1

I know exactly what you mean. You have your head on your shoulders. Just stop giving her an inch here, an inch there. She's playing hardball, you do it too but legally. You're far smarter than her because you're doing everything by the books and trying to be upright. Always keep in mind that she falsely reported you for domestic violence. She's attempting to abduct your child from you, using the system, by making report like that. She's unreasonable and can't be trusted. So do not give her an in…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 05:35 PM
1

I think you're generally do the right things. You're documenting everything, being responsible, and keep everything civil. However, you're being a push-over. She was court-ordered to be pleasant to you and not make any disparaging remarks. She's violated that court order for over 2 months now and 27 times made disparaging remarks in that time-frame. Plus, she's falsifying that she's at the exchange location on time. Use the law to your advantage. A court-order is a legally binding mandate. Furth…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 04:39 PM
1

Person with a spine here, that's not the case at all. The people who commented would respond the same way if he were a woman asking the same question. The sub is men that have a sense of duty, honor, and integrity. If you go to a different sub made up of spineless women, you would obviously get a different response.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 03:00 PM
-2

Sounds like you are cruising through life without a purpose and sense of direction. As a result, you're not leading her with intention and you're not being the man she needs, nor are you wanting her to the degree she wants to be wanted. And that's why she doesn't want to be intimate with you. She would be all over you if you were driven, ambitious, leading the family, wanting her, and taking care of yourself. If you want to test it out, start by exercising, eating healthy, and getting your sleep…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 08:19 AM
1

You definitely can get a divorce, but I don't think you should. Teenage boys are still very much developing and need a stable home life. Could you try the following for one week? Have the mindset that you're single, charismatic, and good-looking, and you really, really want to have her for your girlfriend. Act like you did when you first started dating. Work on improving yourself and taking care of yourself. Start exercising, eating health, sleeping well, working on a hobby, etc, figure out your…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 06:07 AM
2

That is super creative and likely to be leave a lasting impression! I would add write to the younger kids too! Because the content of the letters would be unique, it would still be something special just for the teenager.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 05:47 AM
3

Because that's the way she currently feels. That doesn't mean it's the way it has to end. She is a woman, so she's sharing her feelings with you. Raw and unfiltered. Listen to her, understand her, and be stoic. Don't grovel. Don't plea. Don't defend yourself. Don't explain. Don't use logic. She is a woman. Simply listen to her, understand her, and acknowledge her feelings (even if they delusional and not based on reality). You don't have to agree with her, simply acknowledge her feelings. Immedi…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 05:39 AM
1

You got this! She's the crazy one, not you. My encouragement to you is get your act together and be the man. Man up and take leadership in your marriage. She is a woman, so she still WANTS you. But, you have to be the man - the leader - she needs. Start immediately working on yourself and taking care of yourself (exercise, diet, sleep, figuring out your purpose, etc). You're a fraction of the man you're meant to be. Now is the time you start working on yourself! Remove YOUR finances from her in …
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 05:05 AM
6

Yes, it's very wrong and that's exactly why you feel extreme guilt. Man up and figure out how to be a better man. The reason why you're "not feeling it anymore" is because of you. Start working on yourself, taking care of yourself, improving yourself, etc, and figure out your purpose in life. The more you like/love yourself, the more you will be able to like/love her.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 03:46 AM
10

He begged you "not to ruin his marriage" while he is the one that actually ruined his marriage and helped ruin yours. I would tell his wife. It's better for everyone to know and begin restoring/healing.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 03:32 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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