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flamingoinghome Archive

View 11 posts and 10,645 comments by flamingoinghome on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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TRP and Friends Book Club, please return to English 101. Not that it matters, but Far From the Madding Crowd and Vanity Fair were written by men. But anyway: VF: Literally began as an experiment about if it’s possible to write a novel without a hero. Amelia is not the protagonist, nor even a sympathetic character. No one in that novel is meant to be sympathetic; Thackeray kinda failed, and in film adaptations it shows. FFTMC: Bathsheba Everdeen is one of those morality-play types; her story is a…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 01:22 PM
28

lol @ everyone saying “dyed hair” or piercings— that’s just an alt look, and alt guys dig it. The real answer is more like… tunic, chunky necklace, and patterned leggings. Pantsuits with wide-leg trousers. A loose-fitting cotton turtleneck with acorns on it. Clothes/grooming that hide the body and/or are associated with senior citizens.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 12:51 PM
61

You never actually read these books, did you? Pride and Prejudice The Bennetts aren't "indecent"--they're meant to be the Regency equivalent of a sitcom family. The overbearing, meddling mom, the grumpy dad, and the sisters who are always in shenanigans. They're socially equivalent to Mr Darcy and Mr Bingley. Mr Darcy is rich, yes--he's also a shy, awkward dork who stumbles over his feelings and does acts of extreme charity in secret. Hardly a "bad boy." 50 shades of Gray Ah, yes, the story abou…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/22 01:22 PM
3

If you're talking about the right to conscientious objection, that applies equally to men and women. And if we're comparing countries, Israel conscripts men and women, and Costa Rica doesn't conscript anyone (they quite proudly don't have an army to serve in).
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 11:25 AM
3

Don Draper? Ew. Roger Sterling, maybe. But not Don, ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 10:18 AM
6

Um, yes. LOTS of men say they prefer drama-free women who don't wear too much makeup, and then go on about how hot some Love Island girl with fake everything who throws her drinks at people is. FWIW, I think those men, like the women fangirling over whoever, are just enjoying the fantasy, and that's okay.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 10:17 AM
3

I was always a Captain Wentworth girl, myself. I like the self-made but soulful guy who can write a beautiful love letter. Seconded on Giles, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 10:15 AM
9

Are we going to discuss how he appealed to women and teenaged girls as a quirky, awkward, emotional time-traveling hipster? Of course not. Again, spend a hot minute in fandom, and it shows a lot of things very counter to "pill" talk, but none of it ever counts for Reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 10:13 AM
1

claim they can see the food in him Cronch, cronch lip smacking noises In all seriousness, though--men don't really get 'into" characters in quite the same way as women, as a rule. But a lot of the appeal of "bad" male characters (and also female ones--women who are into women do this too) is that being a fan of them, writing fanfiction about them, fantasizing about them, etc., is a "safe" way to experience things that you wouldn't want to in real life. Just like most people who enjoy paintball, …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 10:12 AM
4

Once you're drafted, you're a soldier, and entitled to all military benefits. Do you think conscripts aren't (or rather, weren't) treated as full members of the US military?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 10:03 AM
2

My guy, Norway quite literally has mandatory military duty for women. There are women right now doing their mandatory service in Norway. So, uh, you may want to update that list. That said, it may interest you to know that your argument was made over a century ago, against the suffragists. And as u/KombuchaEnema has also pointed out, the argument against it was pregnancy. In fact, one suffragette writer, Beatrice Hastings, pointed out that while physical injury was a risk in the military, it is …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 10:00 AM
1

But most men are completely ok with a girl who thinks lowly of herself if she otherwise has a good personality and is attractive. He likely views that as an opportunity to build her up into a down to earth girl. My guy, that "if" is doing a LOT of heavy lifting. Most guys DO consider low self-esteem in a girl a red flag at best. They're just far less likely to call it that. Do you know what low self-esteem in a person looks like? It looks like paranoia that your partner is going to leave you, is…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 10:58 AM
1

What do you consider to be "bad" when it comes to a man to date? Because I don't think someone has to be a "bad man" (or a "bad woman") for them to be a bad dating partner for any given person. I actually think guys do overstate what a "desert" it is for them (or perhaps what a "swamp" it is for women) because there's a tendency in dating discourse to act like a woman's unacceptable "options" count as "options" in a way that a man's don't. (I do not actually think this is misogyny per se--I've n…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 10:53 AM
2

Look, I recently had a consultation to get rid of a small mark on my skin. The process will be expensive, physically uncomfortable, and involve lasers. My partner is politely bewildered by this, as he doesn't notice this mark nor care about it. Heck, my female friends have also told me they never really noticed this mark. I do, though, so I am going to have the removal procedure. And btw...I do dress up every single day, even when I am not going to be leaving the house. I did this during quarant…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 08:40 AM
1

First things first: Bill Maher, of all people, should be taken for what he is: a man in the midst of a fairly public five-year temper tantrum about the fact that he is old and no longer cool and can do nothing about it. That being said: I actually think that women generally having lower sex drives is a part, but only a small one. You ask: Do women just not have an hard-wired innate desire for companionship and wanting to share their life with another person? But not having a romantic relationshi…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 06:51 PM
5

Why exactly do you believe that most 20something women with prior relationships have dated assholes? And that the relationship, such as it was, with the asshole, broke their heart? Asking sincerely.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 06:45 PM
1

No; friends with benefits are friends. Like, they hang out and do friend stuff, and would continue to do so without sex. And they hook up more than once.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 11:58 AM
2

A girl will willingly get pumped just for the chance of being with Chad. Or...because she wanted to have casual sex? Is this kind of thinking why men get so offended if you enthusiastically agree your relationship with them should stay casual?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 11:57 AM
3

Explain yourself. Also...do you think men do not use online dating? Or do not prefer women they find attractive?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 11:54 AM
2

This social psychologist is a fool. why was it so rare for a hundred women to get together and build a ship and sail off to explore unknown regions, whereas men have fairly regularly done such things? The upper-body strength needed to build a ship, the risks associated with experiencing pregnancy in a strange and possibly dangerous place, and the availability of menstrual hygiene products are all perhaps relevant factors. The good professor seems to be ignoring how much of women's history has be…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 11:50 AM
1

Honestly, I think this gap is exaggerated in both directions. Watch what people do, not what they say.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 11:45 AM
4

If you can't tell the difference between "swiping right" on someone because they look good in a picture, and building your image of an entire continent off of a sexualized stereotype, then you've got more going on than a reddit sub can handle.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 11:44 AM
9

I know some women who date assholes. Those women....tend to be assholes too. Tbh, they suit each other. I have also never seen any correlation between a guy being socially awkward and/or boring and being a good person or treating women well. Extroverts and party people can be kind; awkward nerds can be cruel. It's a big world.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 12:43 PM
10

those racist/homophobic boys because they tend to be hotter/more fun I beg your pardon? I've never noticed any positive correlation between a guy being a racist or homophobe and him being hot. Whose ass did you pull this out of?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 12:41 PM
6

Your "proof" of your thesis is...a shy, inexperienced person reacted positively to someone giving her positive attention? Why would she know his private discussions about asses? She sees a guy who acts like he likes her, and likes that. His "bad" traits aren't, from what you've written, what she likes--he doesn't show them to her.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 12:38 PM
3

I find it very unlikely that these men you have met who are in high positions are going to be openly talking about things that could damage their reputation unless you are dating them, so where would you be hearing it from? If you're friends with these people, in a prestigious position yourself, and (most importantly) go drinking with them, yes, they will tell you about their sex lives and sexual preferences. Yea, I have a lot friends who are sugar babies, which is not sex work but kinda is, and…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 04:22 PM
5

I am interested, what is your experience? I used to work in my city's financial district, and met/knew a lot of high-powered investment bankers and the like. Dated one or two as well. These guys were VERY MUCH disproportionately likely to have submissive fantasies. I'm discounting things sex worker acquaintances of mine have told me, because the men who have enough money to engage their services are kind of powerful high-rollers by default, but those square too. I also have read that a lot of pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 03:58 PM
1

I don't care if you find the truth unsatisfying, that doesn't mean it's false. I mean, I consider myself a peaceable person, and the idea of committing violence against someone is upsetting and scary. I also really like gangster stories. I have even been known to dress up as a gangster for Halloween or other costume events. I didn't feel cognitive dissonance because the concept of a game is one that has been part of my life since before I was capable of speech. Sex can be a game. Do people rolep…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 03:48 PM
5

I'd say it is far more likely for a socially dominant man to carry over those values into the bedroom In all seriousness, what makes you say that? Are you speaking from personal experience? Because my personal experience is very different...
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 03:44 PM
1

I can speak more for "me" than for "women," but No. No no nope nopetity nyet nein. No. I am already neurotic; I do not need someone bringing more of that shit to my life. I suspect this is RP gospel because RP is obsessed with highly social hot club chicks; a very different pond than the one I swim in. Ehhhhhh. Tbh, my tastes in that department freak a lot of guys on subs like this out, and they accuse me of lying. But I know I'm not the only one, so. Wha? Ugh, grow up. Not everyone wants to fuc…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 04:25 PM
4

Are you just asking for weird bragging stories? Look, moderately sketchy rich guys are just not as fun, or validating to have in your life, as the men here seem to believe they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/22 07:04 PM
2

are popping up two or three times a week at the likes of Aqua Shard, The Ivy and Sexy Fish along with any number of frequent holidays and hotels. They simply cannot be paying for that on their own. Ah, I see you're a Londoner, then? Get your mind out of the gutter, lol. These girls are doing a combination of three things that are far more likely than having a secret stash of rich guys hidden in their clutch bags: They have indulgent, well-off parents. That's.....very common. And/or... They have …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/22 07:00 PM
11

I'm not entirely straight myself, have a lot of queer friends/family and the ridiculously gendered worldview of RP is just another reason I think it's dumb. It's part of this weird thing a lot of people here seem to have where if you don't live in an LL Bean catalogue, with occasional trips to a late-aughts Top 40 song, your life doesn't "count."
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 08:29 PM
1

Except older, more established men marrying young women was the norm throughout most of human history. No it wasn't. Big age gap marriages were common in arranged/political marriages, but they were not common or ideal for ordinary people. Remember: sexual double standards weren't THAT blatant, and no one expected men to be virgins into their 30s. If anything, big gaps were more common in second marriages/ deeply pragmatic marriages. My maternal grandmother was very young when she married--21. My…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 08:23 PM
0

Sexual I'm OK with romantic I'm not. THIS. Two grown people go home from the bar together? None of my business. You're telling someone who doesn't understand what it means to have a boyfriend/girlfriend that you love them? That's fucked up.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 08:19 PM
0

This may sound nuts, but while I find it viscerally icky, I actually think this is probably less problematic than the same age gap in a committed romantic relationship. And it's for exactly the reasons you mention that: They're probably either living with their parents or at a college dorm or something. They quite frankly have no idea how the world works or how dating works. Now, manipulating people and pressuring them into sex stuff is always wrong, no matter how "easy" it is, no matter if you …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 08:17 PM
3

Nearly everyone I'm close to is in a LTR (or married) or was relatively recently. The ones that aren't are either in ultra-demanding school programs, are going through major health issues, have orientation/location problems that make dating tricky (think: being gay in Tumbleweed, Arkansas) or some combination of the three.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 09:55 PM
1

I don't see how the odds are better than an app. For example, the women that have "6ft or taller" in their bio most likely have that same standard in real life. No they don't---you think they're going to haul out the tape measure at happy hour? But the point is, IRL feels physically safer and generally like less of a gamble. You're less of a "stranger," so entertaining your romantic overtures is less scary. Further, you have a more romantic story, which is extremely important.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 09:53 PM
10

Secondly, the reason divorce rates are falling are because marriage rates have been falling!! Except that divorces-per-marriage are falling, not just net total divorces.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 09:46 PM
4

He matched with 290 women and wrote to 99 of them. Those are the numbers I mentioned. Are they incorrect?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 09:42 PM
0

Walking alone on the street is a TERRIBLE place to talk to women. But again, if you see people in a group chatting at a bar, you have no idea if they've all known each other for five years or five minutes. And yes, "regular socializing" is a great way to meet women and ask them on dates. Whether or not they accept the date is its own question, but your odds are better than OLD.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 09:41 PM
4

Statistically, women are more likely than not to be stuck with a man they despise. Excuse me?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 07:42 PM
4

First: how do you know you don't? I'm sure you see men talking to women all the time. They don't have to be wearing stupid hats like PUAs or whatever. Second: "Warm approaching" as the kids say is also a thing. Ever see a guy and a girl talking at a house party or whatever? Or hanging out a little longer after class/study group/corporate networking happy hour/whatever? Guess what that is?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 07:38 PM
3

Wrong. Apps offer convenience, or perceived convenience. People are lazy. Why put on real pants and go to the bar, when you can get the same thing sitting on the toilet at home? And then, when they can't (in no small part because most women have a strong bias in favor of those they meet IRL, purely because they met IRL), they think like your comment, because even if it's depressing and untrue, it's sure as heck convenient.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 07:30 PM
23

We're just not going to talk about the fact that this guy only contacted roughly 1/3 of his matches? And that is meaningless, while women leaving him on read is apparently a huge deal?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 07:27 PM
6

OP: "How can I have NSA sex and not have women think I'm a jerk"? This thread: Be very upfront about only wanting NSA sex OP: But that's haaaaaaarrrrrdddd! I don't waaaaaannnnnaaaa!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 07:25 PM
8

However, one major aspect of the pill is the understanding that women are less likely to be concerned about their man's monogamy as a man is concerned about his woman's. This is another happy delusion brought on as a side effect of this "pill" you take. Statistically, men and women are roughly equally likely to forgive physical infidelity in a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 07:23 PM
1

There are more ways to be a jerk than by being dishonest.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 07:20 PM
4

You asked how to not get labeled a jerk. Being especially disclosive is how. You might not like that, but it is how.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 07:20 PM
10

He literally changed his personality. Going from an antisocial neurotic guy to a sociable outgoing guy is actually a quite large personality change.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 12:40 PM
3

No? Look, here's the thing, when I was an awkward, shy, self-defeating, perpetually anxious teenage girl, I didn't like myself. I changed a lot about me, consciously, with a lot of effort, as much to become a person I liked and respected as to become datable. It didn't come naturally. But I did it. And I felt happier and healthier for it. It was hard. But things worth doing often are. If I didn't like the person I was, why should I expect someone else to?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 12:37 PM
1

This absurd idea that ugly or dorky guys would be the best partners ever has got to die, but I do know where it comes from. Ever gone through a longer-than-you'd-like period of unemployment? Bonus points if it's right after graduation and you've never had a full-time job with benefits before. And you think "Oh, if I had a job, I'd work so hard at it, and I'd be a great employee and super driven, and I'd never take my job for granted, not like these assholes who get jobs straightaway and then qui…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 09:28 AM
3

What about when you're initially attracted to someone, and then you talk a little more, and find that they're, well, creepy? When someone looks appealing and then they come over and say hey and, well, the vibe is really bad?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 09:23 AM
2

No. I've known handsome, creepy guys. I've known guys I was initially interested in who turned out to be creepy. There ARE women who slap the "creepy" label on interactions because they're too cowardly to admit they don't want to socialize with this person, and don't have to. FWIW, though, some of the things you mentioned (the hood in class and solitary lunch in particular) probably come across to a lot of people as you signaling that you don't welcome the company of others. That's unsettling fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 09:20 AM
2

Everything else about me has changed-- why would this one thing be immune?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 11:42 PM
9

Dude, they were already friends. She said "one of my guy friends helped me back on my feet." Part of what she likes about him was that he stuck around and stayed friends with her when she was sick, and lots of her circle dropped her. She should still make her recovery about her, but I don't think he was befriending a vulnerable woman for nefarious reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 07:52 AM
1

Yep! Made a huge impression on me, lol
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/22 08:32 PM
1

I'm sorry you seem to be struggling with this, so I'm just going to come out and ask: are you only looking to meet women in "vanilla" spaces? Because there are a LOT of women who very much want to be dominant in relationships, and I mean dominant, with a genuinely submissive man (provided he is worth his salt at taking on a submissive role). But hoping you'll run into one of these on tinder or whatever is a terrible idea. There are specialized communities that cater to what you want, but you'll …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/22 06:27 PM
7

Not really? I actually do think there's a problem with social dynamics (not romantic/sexual ones), but that's not the same thing. I met my partner on OLD (Bumble, specifically), so I can hardly complain about existing? But I think the whole "enjoy the decline" thing is rooted in ignorance of what dating/sex/etc. were actually like a hundred years ago. It was not what manosphere subs would have you believe. I actually look at a lot of the complaints from people here and it reminds me of a book I …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/22 06:20 PM
10

I’d say 3 is ideal, but with the caveat that I think many men are too harsh on each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/22 11:08 AM
1

It depends on the app.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/22 11:06 AM
1

One is imposed by society and the other is imposed by nature. More men died from prostate cancer too. That's a false comparison. You're born with a prostate, and it's susceptible to illness like any other organ; you're not born pregnant.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 07:32 PM
1

What do "top men" have to do with patriarchy? And why does death by war stick out in your mind, but not death by childbirth? Do you know how common that was, and still is in some places? I'd argue that not even thinking of death by childbirth as a gendered risk is a little, well, patriarchal. except more power That poor clause is going to break its back with all that heavy lifting it's doing.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 07:27 PM
9

Patriarchy isn't "men oppressing women," that's simplistic, but it is a favoring of men and masculinity over women and femininity on a societal scale. Anyone can perpetuate it, regardless of gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 04:39 PM
15

Why, exactly, do you think that women who want to live independently and not settle in their relationships are doing so because they want "revenge"? Rather than that they, say, simply find it a more enjoyable way to live?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 04:38 PM
1

And tanks, and bombs, and drones. This nonsense about civilian gun ownership to protect people from the military has been irrelevant for a century. (Unless of course you mean the police, in which case, disarming them is actually an upshot of repeal)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 10:38 AM
2

Intellect is absolutely, 100% a "must have" trait for me. If I can't connect with someone on an intellectual level, I literally can't be physically attracted to them--I may like to look at them, but it'll be in the way I like to look at a painting or something. I have talked about this enough with my friends and other women I know to know that this is in no way even remotely universal.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 09:51 PM
3

It's no one's "job" to talk to anyone, ask anyone out, or date anyone. But if you're lonely, whatever your gender, and no one is hitting on you, it's time to start hitting on people. Personally, I think the reason men tend to "approach" more often is that they simply crack first.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 07:30 PM
28

PPD challenge: learn about the concept of money and physical comfort beyond the sexual. ​ If you want to go on EXTRA DIFFICULT mode, you can also learn about the concept of religion and its place in history. ​ The average soldier going to war throughout history was doing so for a variety of reasons. You're talking about wars of conquest, so we'll throw "defending one's homeland" out for now. But you're missing the incredibly obvious motive of money, dear boy. ​ Going into a war of conquest was, …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 07:25 PM
1

In my personal relationship, perhaps we are both naive, but my partner and I tend to be of the opinion that if either of us secretly wanted to bang our friends, we would bang our friends without all the cloak and dagger. Heck, both of us have friends who are either exes or former FWBs. That part of those friendships had ended before my partner and I had ever even met each other, so it's really not a big deal. Personally, I think if you feel the need to creep around and fret over your SO's friend…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/22 02:29 PM
41

Why do you assume that people who are unkind but in relationships are dating nice people? Other than people with histories of abuse, the only people I know who date jerks are jerks themselves. Like goes with like. Do you want to date nice people?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/22 10:02 AM
8

You seem to be talking about US politics. Framing your post as about “the masses” rather than “a small tyranny of over represented white exurbanites” is insane in that context. More Americans live in California than any other state. The population of California certainly includes “prole masses” and what have you. Look at how California votes. Look at how they trend.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/22 09:51 AM
3

Nah, he was ripped (he liked lifting and stuff too--just didn't compete at it, so was more chill). And even then, if he's a legit athlete good on him, that's the price of success. A meal could be the gap between first and third place. That's how it is with any competitive athlete. I don't deny it. But the price was too high in my opinion. An abstract concept of "success" in a field I DGAF about is not worth depriving yourself of what i consider one of life's great pleasures (cooking and eating).…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/22 08:50 AM
4

You clearly haven't been with a fitness junkie because that's not how fitness works. I've competed in both bodybuilding, BJJ and MMA. Unless cutting weight in a camp which lasts about 3 months, you'll rarely find anyone that anal about eating cake. I have an ex who was an ultramarathon guy, and he was NUTS about this stuff. Weighing everything he ate and shit like that. Good for you if you're not, but it's a Thing. My partner is awesome, thanks for asking, and 1000x better than my ex. Creating g…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/22 08:43 AM
8

Well wouldn't that depend on the content of the influencer? Not really? Do you know how much time it takes to produce successful web content? If you DGAF about photography and lighting and the right makeup to be on camera and eyebrow threading and shit, someone who talks about that all the time is not going to be appealing to you. It is not fun to go on vacation with someone who takes three hours to take a photo if you don't like taking photos, you know? You seem so wrapped in thinking any desir…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/22 08:28 AM
11

So that's bodybuilding, martial arts and Tinder. Those activities/apps will select for a lot of men. So whose left? I didn't say that guys who have a tinder are like that everywhere all the time, lol. Just that, well, guys at the pub are looking for a drink. Guys on tinder are looking for casual sex. It doesn't mean that's all they want all the time. And I never said that simply enjoying exercise or martial arts makes you dumb and boring. My guy friend certainly isn't like that. The guys you and…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/22 08:11 AM
16

So....as a fellow resident of the UK, I have to say....one of my guy friends is a STEM dude who does some powerlifting on the side, and from everything he's told me about the world of bodybuilding and martial arts.....yeah, those guys are dorks. Large, muscular dorks, but dorks nonetheless. I haven't found that "men" as a whole are only interested in "sexual access" in my own life. Men on Tinder, sure, but you get what you pay for, you know? Men IRL I have never witnessed to be these forlorn hor…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/22 07:48 AM
3

Uh....? Those guys aren't beating the dude up because he looks creepy; it's because they want the girl for themselves. OP was about guys being in danger from "being perceived as creepy." I disagree entirely; men are far more likely to be victims of violence, in all situations. Like 1 in 5 women have been assaulted, and by far the most common perpetrators are guys they're dating or married to. Wow, I thought that I was being jaded; do you seriously believe that? Yes? That's not by any means the w…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 07:46 PM
1

I get what you're saying, and tbh, if you were driving at this in the OP but were being more tasteful, I actually wholeheartedly fucking agree. I once had a very upsetting situation where a guy thought I was "playing coy" until I started visibly freaking out at him, at which point he became horrified that I genuinely wanted to get out of there, because he was so used to women pulling that bullshit. I hate, hate, hate that shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 07:43 PM
4

Guys get beat up by other guys over women all the time. That's not about the other guys thinking they're creepy--it's a competition thing. But moreover...it's still less common. Women get hit or SA'ed by the guys they date all the time. That's not the same thing as, "wish[ing] they could take on the "stereotypically feminine" role in their relationships," though. Yes it is? The stereotypically feminine role is to hang around and look cute until someone hits on you, and to have LOTS of people hou…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 07:38 PM
1

This sounds like a personal thing. A lot of people find talking to new people and flirting fun in and of themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 06:54 PM
1

How is it an "investment" to have a conversation with someone and flirt with them?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 06:49 PM
5

That's just such a rare thing, though. It's much more common than men being in physical danger from "being perceived as creepy" or whatever. I don't see that; where are these guys? Every damn day someone posts on this sub about how easy it is to be a woman on the dating scene, how much better it is than to be a man, etc etc etc and various assumptions of heterosexuality notwithstanding.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 06:48 PM
12

I get more attention from men in my late 20s than I ever did in my late teens, including men who are in their early 20s. Some people are physically late bloomers.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 06:46 PM
1

Well, yes. Perhaps I'm biased because I don't have a height preference, but tbh, I think it's all overblown/largely an OLD thing anyway. Gentlemen, no woman will take out a tape and measure you on a date.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 06:44 PM
5

I just want a woman to be straight with me; no mind games, no, "If you really loved me, you would just know what I want," no shit tests. I don't mean this in a snarky way, I'm being sincere: are you attracted to women like that? Like, sexually? I say this because I'm a woman who is very much like that, and it's been my experience that, frankly, it turns a lot of otherwise-interested guys off.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 06:40 PM
6

I mean, women face "actual physical danger" in dating, especially if they don't know the guy that well. That's part of the equation, you know. Arguably it's a BIG part of why many women can be a little standoffish about dating. Also, I don't think that men who struggle with dating are largely unaware of what, exactly, a given woman wants so much as, and I hate to say this, uncomfortable with what they themselves want. Like, it seems like quite a few guys here, who talk about how much they wish t…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 06:38 PM
1

Do you know what the field of public health uses to determine whether something is a threat or crisis?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 10:52 AM
1

So, again, from a public health perspective, nothing like a crisis.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 10:43 AM
2

Unless you are great friends with each other or you want to start a family together "Unless" is doing an extraordinary amount of heavy lifting here. So, I'm very much off the market, but when I was last single, I absolutely was looking for a partner for the long haul. That's a tall order, so I was open to something more casual--but yeah, not "just sex"--even in a more casual situation, I wanted there to be a good friendship there as well. I think people on this sub misunderstand FWBs; you have t…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 10:39 AM
0

I live in Europe (I'm American, but an expat) and there's a distinct lack of axe crime where I am. But anyway, from the standpoint of public health (which is what the article is about), reducing the number of murder victims by many orders of magnitude is pretty important.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 10:32 AM
-3

Oh, I support going all the way and repealing the Second. Do it state by state like other constitutional changes. If needed, the enforcement could get difficult, but at least it would be over, and other countries have done it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 09:01 AM
-6

It’s literally the guns. NYP is a conservative paper avoiding the obvious, and our culture more broadly doesn’t want to admit that youth is inherently a difficult time. But the main problem is the guns.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 08:00 AM
3

back then When exactly are you referring to? Nineteenth century America had the highest divorce rate in the world for its time. Australia in the early twentieth century was downright infamous for desertion. Victorian Britain had a congenital syphilis outbreak because so many married men were screwing prostitutes and passing STIs on to their wives and children--to the point that this was a major argument made by the suffragettes.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/22 05:52 PM
2

Why do you think you can't love someone if you ever feel sexual attraction to other people? Do you think that medieval peasants never saw the cute girl who sold eggs at the market/that really buff farmer with the nice smile and thought about them? Or do you think that meant they couldn't love their spouses? To say nothing of people who love each other deeply but aren't sexually monogamous.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/22 05:47 PM
6

Ssssshhhh, the near-universal love women have for facial tattoos of cartoon animals farting is supposed to be a secret!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/22 05:43 PM
5

My favorite kind of tattoos on a guy is "no tattoos at all." I can't get tattoos myself for religious reasons, and while I think some are beautiful in an artistic sense, I don't find them sexy. The one and only tattoo I have ever found attractive on a man was based on a fifteenth-century astronomical diagram.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/22 05:41 PM
3

This seems like a lot of effort to go through instead of just believing men. And maybe understanding that your buddy casually complaining about his wife may just be shooting shit, rather than Revealing His Deepest Soul.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 02:26 PM
10

What "obvious red flags" are you talking about? Because the answer can be different depending on the "red flag" in question. You missed a very obvious possible explanation though, and one that I've seen many times: The women who go for these "red flag men" have some very similar qualities and/or past issues themselves. The woman who dates drug dealers? Guess what? She's very into drugs. The woman who dates guys who are hooking up with half the town? She's probably not strictly monogamous herself…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 05:24 PM
3

My brother and I are very close. We’re only a few years apart in age, and we had our grouchy moments as kids, but we’re good friends now as adults—he’s actually flying to see me in a few weeks!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/22 07:12 AM
3

I consider "thinking someone is objectively attractive" and "being attracted to them" separate things--I take it you don't?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/22 12:38 AM
1

Um, if you don't have an income or asocial circle, I should think getting those sorted is a significantly more important thing to focus on than getting a girlfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 08:48 PM
20

I have no idea what you mean by "attractive." I have never dated or gotten physical with someone I was not attracted to, but that's a different thing entirely. Have I been involved with guys who I might not describe as "conventionally handsome"? Yes. But I was attracted to them. For what it's worth, everyone who knows me well knows that a good sign I'm very, very keen on someone is that if I'm asked "are they handsome?", my response will be, "I don't know."
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 08:45 PM
2

These questions are always notes from a universe where there are exactly two types of men: Cotton Mather and Charlie Sheen. Expressing a desire for a third kind is considered unicorn hunting.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 07:35 AM
3

Guy 1? Obviously? My asthmatic self wouldn't even date a social smoker, let alone an alcoholic who gets into bar fights. I think you may have misunderstood something. When most women say they want a guy who doesn't focus too much on his looks/isn't uptight, they mean that they don't want a guy who refuses a slice of cake at their birthday party because "carbs," or who won't take a few days' trip to a cottage by the shore because "I would mess up my gym routine," or who is otherwise inflexible an…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 07:19 AM
4

I mean, you're not wrong, but FWIW....this isn't just a "men" thing. If you're an introverted nerdy girl who mostly hangs out with one or two other introverted nerdy girls, has some nerdy, majority-female hobbies like sewing or writing fanfic or historical reenactments or something, and has a majority-female career like working in nonprofits or elementary education, yeah, it's a lot harder to meet dudes than if you were someone who was into the party scene. And, I'm afraid that the solution actu…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/22 09:18 PM
2

I'm not sure why "having lower standards" is both treated as something inherent, not socialized, but also not credited with expanding your pool of options.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/22 05:46 PM
7

Then being single is not your biggest problem. Go get them.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/22 03:37 PM
3

Social lives can be a kind of virtuous cycle--friends beget friends, and so on.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/22 03:35 PM
1

No? It would underscore that he understood the gender imbalance on dating apps. A lot of guys wait until they match with someone to decide if they want to message them because they find it efficient. I'm not sure why that method implies that if they match with ugly gross women, they're then going to date them. It is, after all, just a swipe. And why does a woman who, from the sound of it, enjoys being the one who chooses, be hung up about being "chosen"?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/22 03:26 PM
7

Do you know the difference between a "friend" and someone who's in/adjacent to your circle? Friends-of-friends, people you meet at a happy hour for a specific hobby or school or whatever, people you meet at a concert or art thing or whatever and first strike up a conversation about the interesting thing right in front of you---that's where it's at.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/22 03:23 PM
1

I mean - how do you think my friends girlfriend/wife would feel if she knew that when we were out for a drink with the boys, he’d have one hand on his ping glass and another swiping right-right-right-right without even looking? Do you think that wouldn’t bother her? Assuming that this business was going on before they met and started dating, why would she care? I'm a woman, and I've seen my guy friends do this. Then they'd get bored and start checking out the girls at the bar, or they'd get a ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/22 03:20 PM
5

First of all: I think you misunderstand what women are thinking of when asked what percentage of "men" they find attractive on a given day, and how it differs from men's answers about what "women" they find attractive. I've noticed that when men talk about these "percentages of women," they are (and will admit with a little prodding) filtering heavily about who counts as a "woman" for this exercise. They're almost always limiting themselves to women in roughly their age bracket, and occasionally…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/22 03:17 PM
3

Ah, I see you've prayed for the Tsar before.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 05:24 PM
0

I mean, more fool them? My boyfriend is awesome and these ladies missed out!
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 05:20 PM
0

As me, personally? So a theoretical man that occasionally uses concealer, maybe does his eye makeup and/or paints his nails for special occasions, uses some kind of fragrance? Fine by me!
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 05:18 PM
39

So it "doesn't count" that you have sex or a relationship because you wish your partner was hotter? Sorry, no dice. The rest of your post seems to be complaining that dating is not easy. Guess what? You're right! It's not! Dating is hard! So is getting a good job, finding a place to live in a new city, keeping in touch with your friends who moved away for college, and many other things. And yet, most people still do these things! Most people do things that are hard! The fact that doing things is…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/22 03:32 PM
5

I wouldn't call myself demisexual per se, but I do wonder, because a lot of the way attraction is described here is alien to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/22 03:18 PM
20

For me personally: it takes time. I legitimately don't know if I'm attracted to someone for a while, sometimes days or weeks, sometimes longer. I can't really be attracted to someone I don't have a conversational "clock" with, so forget about clubs and other places where you can't talk. There can be a "switch" that makes you go from attracted to not, or vice versa, and when and how that switch gets flipped can be surprising. The only thing I feel "at first sight" is curiosity.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/22 02:52 PM
1

Honestly this. I think it's a "grass is greener" fantasy of horny dudes that if they could, they would love to hook up with squillions of random women. I think most guys who have all that going for them find that sex with random people they don't care about gets old fast.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/22 08:59 AM
0

Chivalry was always a class thing. It still is, and still kind of exists. The word "chivalry" comes from "chevalier," the French for knight. I've read material from the Middle Ages about what a knight was expected to do as part of his chivalric oath, and while he had a duty to physically defend peasants (men and women) who were bound to his liege's land, he had no obligation to treat women outside the nobility with courtesy or respect, and often really really didn't, with no sense of having viol…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/22 08:41 AM
2

When I was single, I'd get bought drinks fairly often--not just for sitting there and catching someone's eye, more like if I was talking to a guy he'd offer to buy me a drink so we could keep on talking while we finished them. And on a first date, I'd generally get treated (although that was also because I was very very broke). I have turned down offers of more lavish free things (a piece of antique furniture felt like a bridge too far). But even then, that wasn't from randos, but from friends/s…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/22 08:35 AM
10

Why do you assume this woman is an idiot? She knows she's put on weight. She probably talked about it with her husband. What, exactly, would my saying anything do about that? Frankly, that kind of weight gain over such a short time period is usually indicative of trauma or a serious health problem. In which case, her husband is especially an ass for leaving her when she's going through a medical issue like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/22 08:09 AM
1

when i say all else equal i mean the people in the photo have the same personality, and the vibe they give is the same. Yes, exactly, all else is never equal. That is a pointless thought exercise, not least because going from being broke to earning a ton of money literally changes your personality. It's inevitable. their smell? I mean, yes. Someone who "smells right" or "smells wrong" (not the same as bad/lack of hygiene) is a thing. I think it's to do with pheromones/body chemistry. There's als…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/22 07:59 AM
1

But all else isn't equal. That's what people who want to make dating into a science don't get--it isn't. And a lot of the most important factors in whether you'll be attracted to someone--in reality, not in theory--can't be determined on a profile or from a photo. They just can't.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/22 09:47 PM
1

But again, being attracted to a profile of a man is not a good indicator of being attracted to an actual man.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/22 09:23 PM
3

Right here with you. When I was last single, I had to block a guy I knew through mutual friends who kept trying to throw money at me (he was old-money rich with Porsches and the like) because he just gave me the absolute creeps. I have been told I am lying about this, on this sub, more than once.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/22 08:26 PM
2

How many "points" you rate a photograph of someone is a spectacularly poor metric for measuring how attractive women find men in a flesh-world setting. Dating apps and the crummy dates they often result in are living proof of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/22 08:25 PM
1

I feel like u/purplish_possum needs to get in on this....
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/22 07:53 PM
7

They don't, not to the extent that you think. They can engage in literally transactional relationships (as can rich women), but even on this sub (and IRL) I've seen men absolutely furious that even though they make good money, women do not want them.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/22 07:44 PM
1

Interesting. I'm a woman, but I definitely understand it, and have inclinations in that direction myself. I'm not even sure how to describe it--it'd be like explaining hunger or thirst or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/22 07:42 PM
2

There's.....a lot going on here. First of all, though, I'm not sure how to break it to you, but I believe a woman who is extremely wealthy but fat could probably bag herself a hot gold digger if she wanted to as well. Second, I have some friends who are on the bigger size, and I'm not sure if you realize that even if you "do everything in your power" to be thin, your power may not be sufficient? Like, depending on a variety of factors, including income, where you live, your ethnicity, and even s…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/22 07:37 PM
1

First of all, I kinda think if you're quoting Kevin Samuels when trying to (I think?) talk about social class, you've kinda already missed the boat. Second, I don't think literally everyone need to work 60-80 hours to make that kind of income. It really really depends on your field. But this sub has got to get over the idea that most men only care about money and power for sexual reasons. If you're perfectly happy with my 1800 Sq feet and Volkswagen Jetta and my hobbies that's cool! Seriously, g…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/22 07:24 PM
1

just wrapping this into a "I just don't feel like it" container - is fine? Dude, if you are critiquing a woman's body when turning her down for a date, yes, you absolutely should be shamed for that. You are being an ill-mannered boor. Also, these women rejecting you....are they, by any chance, in good shape, with good incomes, etc.? If so, they are not being hypocrites. You, however, would be for rejecting someone for being out of shape if you are too.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/22 07:15 PM
2

Which "beliefs" is this guy using and having "success" with? Because if it's just "he's going out more, getting in shape, and looking for dates outside of OLD," that's not "redpill" it's just good advice. If it's the whole quasi-PUA neg dread cringe weirdness....wait. Just wait. I have actually known a few guys who went from being lonely to having fairly regular casual sex. Literally all of them got sick of it after a few months, maybe a year or two, and started looking for a LTR. This sub seems…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/22 08:12 AM
3

This is what I mean when I say you all misunderstand "looks" and how they relate to presentation. Those two women you posted pictures of? They're probably starting from very similar "baselines" in terms of raw stock. Woman A is not thoughtless about what she looks like--she went through the trouble of dyeing her hair, she's clearly choosing her clothes based on a bit of a "hipster" sensibility, but the whole "look" can be achieved with relatively little time and maintenance. Woman B is clearly v…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/22 03:09 PM
1

Based on that, I could see the rationale for less anxiety being something like “see, I’m still beautiful because I have a good personality” or something. So their conclusion is actually “aging doesn’t bother me because I’m still beautiful despite aging,” rather than just not caring about beauty at all. I suspect it's more of "the proof of the pudding is in the eating." As in, younger women worrying about being attractive or not, because they're afraid that if they're not, X, Y, and Z will happen…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/22 01:51 PM
2

Not necessarily. It's true even if your employer is a woman. And it's true in all-women's spaces.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/22 01:48 PM
5

There's a chicken-and-egg thing no one wants to admit. Looking good, even as a young woman, is a LOT of work. Many older women get less attention simply because they stop doing the work. The tradeoff isn't worth it anymore. But moreover, I kind of feel like you're assuming women only want to look attractive because it results in sexual attention from men, and that's the worthwhile end in and of itself. You're wrong. Experience and science show that women who are considered attractive get paid mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/22 12:49 PM
6

You do understand that being treated as worthwhile has material implications, right? You don't have to care about "male attention" in and of itself to care about being dismissed at work or whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/22 12:45 PM
8

Ugly women are treated like men by men. I don't know about that. When a man posts a selfie on social media, say, other men do not gang up and say "You are ugly! I do not want to have sex with you!" They just leave him alone. When a woman who is unattractive (or on the heavy side) does the same thing, however... There is a vocal contingent of men who find the existence of women they're not attracted to offensive in a way they don't find the existence of other men.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/22 12:43 PM
5

I feel like a study that says "women are more anxious about their attractiveness when they are younger" proves kinda the opposite of what you and OP are claiming?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/22 12:41 PM
10

I'd agree. An it's honestly funny to overlook the difference on this sub, which constantly talks about the dangers of getting scammed by gold diggers (if you're a man dating women). It's hardly "gold digging" for a woman to have the same concerns.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/22 04:02 PM
28

I'm not sure the tendency of the rich to stay among their own is gold-digging, per se. It's very much real--class-mixing is the exception rather than the rule--but it's not the same thing as gold-digging.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/22 03:49 PM
4

Because filing for divorce is a very specific type of "household accountancy" that women are simply taught to do earlier and more frequently than men as a rule, and as a result, they take on that role in their marriages--even when it comes to ending them. I know multiple women who "initiated divorce" or "filed for divorce" because their husbands cheated and/or moved out on them, and requested to be divorced. The husbands then proceeded to ignore the actual paperwork involved in becoming divorced…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/22 03:42 PM
5

No, no they do not. I have friends who were raised in deeply, deeply religious communities, and because of my job, I've also read a fair amount of writing/memoir from people raised in those cultures. They do not have healthier or more satisfying sex lives. Quite the contrary. People marry not only without having done anything physically with each other, but also without any kind of sex ed except maybe some basic "what goes where" info for procreative PIV. Newly married couples, especially but no…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/22 09:28 AM
4

Honestly, you're 100% right IMO about intellectual connection being important. I personally cannot feel physical attraction to a man I can't click with intellectually--even a very beautiful man I can't talk to will register as aesthetically pleasing, but totally nonsexual. That said, this idea that intellectual exchange should be the norm off the bat is awful. I do not want that kind of intimacy with every random person I happen to come across, and would be irritated if they tried to foist it on…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 02:40 PM
15

If this theoretical man is, despite being "unattractive," appealing enough that he could easily get married if he wanted to, why can't he get a non-monogamous relationship? You claim only the hottest possible man can get into a FWB relationship, but that's not true. Most guys can. The difference is that your partner will probably be an ordinary looking woman, not a model, and it has to be a real FWB, not just fuckbuddies. For a real FWB, you have to be, well, friends. Basically, if you're hesita…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 02:11 PM
6

Call me crazy, but ... I kind of think that even if people are low-key attracted to some of their friends, it's not a big deal. Never mind the friendships that are literally just "we took a bunch of classes together in school and have been bros ever since," with no hidden agenda anywhere. My boyfriend and I both have platonic friends we actually have romantic/sexual history with. That pert of those friendships ended before we met each other, but even so. It's not a big thing because we trust eac…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 02:03 PM
4

You do know that fault divorces still exist, right? If you have proof of infidelity, you can get a fault divorce. Many people, even those who have been victims of infidelity, choose not to do this because they don't want to present their personal business to the courts like that. No fault just means if your marriage is miserable, you can leave without having to do what people used to do, which was fake infidelity or domestic abuse. There used to be an entire cottage industry of fake infidelity a…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/22 02:01 PM
5

Your evidence for the hypothesis that the world is full of borderline sugar daddy relationships is....someone who has a flirty personality but does not cheat on her partner? Not getting it at all here. Look, I understand that you are very young, and are maybe going through something lots of very young people do, which is realizing that the world doesn't look or feel like you thought it would. But that's no reason to jump to frankly wild theories.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/22 10:14 AM
2

I mean, "the one" doesn't necessarily mean "Who you would buy at Build-A-Boy." Sometimes you just click with someone. It isn't logical, it can't be forced or predicted. Heck, there are people who fall in love with people who aren't even their preferred gender. Also, why do you think someone has to be a pickme to love someone who isn't whatever your arbitrary number thing is? The only reason that one was off the table for me is that I don't grovel for anyone, and you made groveling a precondition…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/22 12:38 AM
3

I have a question about Option 2: can I also be non-monogamous? Because that's just a happy polyamorous/open relationship, and tbh, I'd probably at least give it a shot if I had to pick one of these 5. Otherwise, probably 1 because I want kids, but wouldn't want to be with someone I didn't love or respect, or in a situation where I could not love and respect myself. 3 wouldn't be the end of the world. ETA, why does this presume only 10% of men are appealing? And to all the same women? Like, lite…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/22 12:27 AM
4

That's fair. My friend was lucky enough to have one her friends already sent their kids to, so she could trust them through that.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 10:23 AM
12

Honestly, there's a....really uncomfortable attitude that a lot of people have about children. I've heard it described as "parents who want their children to be safe---not safe like a person, safe like a wallet." Generally people like this lean in HARD to the SAHP thing (they also get weird about schools). There's also a lot of sentiment that daycares are inherently bad for kids? It's super weird (my best friend's son is a pint-sized extrovert who was gutted when his daycare was closed due to co…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 09:29 AM
3

I kinda of just assume that people are attracted to their partners? Like, I have a friend who's in good shape, but dates fat guys, because she's a chubby chaser. Why would this bother me? She's happy, the fat guys are happy--everyone wins!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 09:14 AM
5

Excuse me? Who does this? No, no I have not.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/22 06:12 PM
3

I don't think it's a question, with your half sister at least, of "looking at you through the eyes of a partner." I think it's simpler. Values are values. She has, IMO, shitty values, but they're hers. She thinks aggression, violent temper, and a strong will are good. She thinks they are good things for a man--any man--to have. She is attracted to men who display the traits she values, rather than valuing men who display the traits she's attracted to. It's not surprising or unusual. As for your …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/22 08:39 AM
2

That he's gay, or at least has a strong preference for men, but is too embarrassed/worried for his career to come out. This would put everything into a new perspective--Jada asking for an open marriage or divorce when she found out, because she didn't want to be tied exclusively to someone who can't ever be attracted to her the way she is to him; his looking so uncomfortable and sad talking about his marriage because while I'm sure he cares a lot about Jada, and loves her as a person and the mot…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/22 06:55 AM
2

Dude, I was last single in early 2020. It's not like I'm someone who's been married for 100 years and has no idea what dating is like anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/22 06:51 AM
3

Is there any reason why, as PPD obsessively scouts rumors about Will Smith's personal life because of the Oscars thing (which was insane, btw, and frankly disrespectful to Jada if we take it at face value), everyone is studiously ignoring the oldest and most prevalent rumor about him? The one that would put a wildly different perspective on his marriage, and make it kind of a sad situation for everyone?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/22 10:14 AM
1

Nah. Speaking as a woman, this seems like projection. When I was single, I didn't even necessarily know if I'm attracted to someone after a first date, let alone if I want to be in a relationship with them. The rare occasions where i asked a guy to slow things down, it wasn't to date other people on my end, I literally needed time to think.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/22 10:08 AM
1

If I met someone on OLD, or a friend's friend's cousin at a party, I have known them for like four hours after our first date. I'm supposed to be exclusive with someone I don't know from Adam? Who I don't even know likes me back? Who is almost certainly not considering themselves exclusive with me? When, incidentally, I know full well that if I try that, I will immediately become neurotic in the exact way that makes me unpleasant to date? Now, if you're going out with someone you've known a long…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/22 10:06 AM
17

"Swinging" is not the same thing as being in an open marriage. But yeah, they've both explicitly confirmed that they're open, tried monogamy and hated it: https://www.the-sun.com/entertainment/1069600/jada-pinkett-will-smith-open-marriage/.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/22 02:43 PM
45

The Smiths have always been VERY open (arguably too open for comfort) that they are not monogamous, never have been, and both sleep with other people--and I use the gender-ambiguous term of "people" quite deliberately. Why is it so hard to believe that someone might have a non-traditional relationship and love their partner? That said, I do think it was bonkers to hit the dude like that for what was essentially a lame joke. Unless, of course, it was a PR thing, in which case it was very very cle…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/22 02:05 PM
3

You all probably won't like or believe this, but whatever: It's because most of what we call "looks" isn't determined by raw physical stock the way many on this sub pretend. Say a girl is really into fitness and in great shape, and she hangs out at the gym all the time, and her favorite restaurant is a really bougie place that does bottomless brunch, and she styles her hair and does full makeup every single day? That stuff is going to be reflected in how she presents, and what she looks like. Sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/22 10:09 AM
5

It probably varies significantly between different areas/countries. This is probably it. I also used to have a job where social class stuff was kinda front-and-center, so I probably saw a lot of it through that.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/22 10:09 PM
4

Nope. There literally aren't enough people in rural Britain for that to be the case. The UK Conservative Party has strongholds in London and Bristol, in the wealthy areas. UK politics are almost 100% based on the quasi-hereditary class system. ETA, the 2019 election was also a weird one in that the leader of the major left-wing party was a notorious antisemite who said kindly things about multiple terrorist organizations (good luck getting votes in Manchester when you say nice things about the I…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/22 10:00 PM
8

conomic and social factors impacting your dating choices You didn't see that in Europe?! Shit, the obsession with social class I've seen over here made America seem SO CHILL by comparison. Economic less so, but social? It's intense.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/22 09:58 PM
4

I'm an American living in Europe. This isn't a North American vs. European thing--Europeans ghost each other all the time. I've found dating to be fairly similar on both continents, except the local differences in the most desired "look." French dating culture in particular has this weird thing where if you go on even one date, you're meant to be exclusive until you stop seeing each other. I don't get it, and it seems to be fairly uniquely French.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/22 09:56 PM
3

-. - No, it's not . Yes, yes it is. Heck, even one of the "races" you mentioned in a previous comment wasn't considered one as recently as a few decades ago. When my mother was growing up, Middle Eastern people were considered just another type of white person, not a separate race. ..... What? The idea that "some people are described as 'white' and others are not" is an idea that people made up. It didn't fall from the sky. It's only a few hundred years old, and the rules to how it works are sti…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/22 09:53 PM
2

No because it means that racially they were mostly homogenous. But "race" as we understand it today is a social construct that didn't exist back then. It makes no sense to speak of whether the Roman Empire was full of "white people" or not--"white people" as an idea hadn't been invented yet. Getting from North Africa to Rome was no easy feat back then. Eh. It wasn't easy by modern standards, but people did it. People traveled from Tahiti and Bora Bora to Hawai'i in double canoes with only the So…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/22 08:19 PM
3

I mean, the "ancient world" runs a wide gambit. According to some archaeological records, the ancient Egyptians managed to make contact with Native Americans. But as for Rome, talking about "Europeans" is kind of missing the point? There were no Europeans. There was no Europe, at least not as we understand it--the oldest records of the idea of Europe come from Greece (specifically from Herodotus), but he's writing about Europe as a question, and not one he or any of his contemporaries had an ans…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/22 05:11 PM
3

I don't know much about ethnicity in ancient Greece (although the ancient Greek view of who was or wasn't "civilized" was not based in race, or even nation; it was based in language). Ancient Rome was extremely multicultural, and it was a deliberate imperial tactic. When the Romans took over a place, they sent officers and regiments they'd recruited from about as far away from that place as possible to run it, sometimes with their families in tow. This was to ensure that, a.) The officers were l…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/22 04:17 PM
3

I'm curious: do you consider yourself a capitalist, or supporter of capitalism?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/22 09:21 AM
7

You're overthinking this. What if (hear me out) the Assassin's Creed games have been going on for a really, really long time. And you can't just keep forcing new skins onto the same story or your fans will get bored. And perspective shifts are an easy and fashionable way to tell a new story in an old world--much like Disney did with The Mandalorian. Also, LOL at the idea that telling someone "you once were blind, but now you see" is an idea that was created by the Manosphere or the Matrix films.…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/22 09:21 AM
3

Well, your need to insult a woman on a date and apparently misandrist views of sex aside, speaking as a woman, I find the whole conversation on what a partner's relationship with their family is like to weirdly ignore the most obvious question: What is their family actually like? Like, I knew a guy, a former classmate, who had a very messed-up relationship with his family, and it was absolutely a red flag, because he could not name one single actual negative thing about these people. When you pu…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/22 05:00 PM
1

For me personally it is a strong negative. It is a sign that someone does not value being well-mannered, considerate, and compassionate. These are important values of mine, and I'm not inclined to hang around people who don't share them.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/22 04:49 PM
3

You know that if random social media women's "shaming" men for whatever "counts", then random social media men's "shaming" women for whatever "counts" as well, right? There is an extremely vocal group of men who not only are very aggressively against women who have height preferences, but accuse any woman who does not have a height preference of lying. As a woman who does not have a height preference, I have encountered these guys many times, and they are not fun. The fact that women on the inte…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/22 04:46 PM
4

There's nothing self-confident about repression. Conversely, being able to say, without shame, "Yeah, I'm sad/scared/insecure about X" can be an extremely self-confident gesture. It's a sign of self-respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/22 09:53 AM
2

Do you have any statistics on that? Or maybe some historical testimony? Or even pop culture depictions from a century or so ago? Also, which time? Which place?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/22 09:51 AM
4

I feel like you're missing the obvious here. Taking out people who like makeup because they just like it and think it's a fun hobby, and taking out that the urge to adorn the self is a human universal seen across cultures for millenia, we're talking specifically about women who do full makeup every/most days and it doesn't make them look hotter, but you think it makes them feel hotter than, specifically, men who may want to date them? I mean, maybe, I guess? But surely Occam's Razor suggests the…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/22 08:44 AM
11

So, male gold diggers/trophy husbands were actually really, really common through a lot of history. The most prominent ones were called "fortune hunters," and they were usually from fairly upper-class but cash-poor families, and would seek to marry into money, often trading on their title. Male gold diggers also existed at the middle/working classes. In Britain in the seventeenth century, for example, working-class women had a hard time getting married, because young men were more interested in …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/22 10:20 PM
12

I mean, that is very demanding given what the guys are likely to be like. That's a trophy wife. It's just that (and there's a history I would love to write one day here), for complex reasons, there are more women who are willing to make that bargain than men in our current time and place.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/22 10:10 PM
3

Yes, pornography was unknown the world over until the 1990s. There were definitely not pornographic cave paintings, hieroglyphics, erotic novels and sex manuals that are thousands of years old, the Victorians did not produce buttloads of porn, etc. etc. etc. Moreover, it is only through internet porn that people have been presented in a sexualized way. That is why prostitution is called 'the world's profession that only started with the internet."
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/22 10:02 PM
31

I mean, I kinda think "the sort of women who use a high-end matchmaker" are already...pretty specific. I imagine they'd be the type to really lean into a "lifestyles of the rich and famous" image of themselves, and maybe think meeting people in more "common" ways (a bar, through friends, at a religious or social gathering) are insufficiently fancy. Color me shocked such women are high-maintenance and demanding.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/22 09:58 PM
7

Lol, if it's any consolation, you're pretty obviously, like, the opposite of DB's schtick.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/22 09:53 PM
10

Yeah, he has plenty of money and knows exactly where the reputable escort agencies are, so he has no trouble at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/22 09:53 PM
9

Dude, you know some women can like a picture of, say, a fancy yacht party NOT out of sexual desire for the host, but because they think it might be fun to party of a fancy yacht? Also, like, I "like" pics of Jose Andres at WCK things. It certainly doesn't mean I want to have sex with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/22 09:52 PM
15

Dude, those girls on his boats or whatever? They are escorts. He has entered a business arrangement with them. That's how he "gets" them.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/22 09:01 PM
25

Yeah, speaking as a laydee people, "be literally anyone but Dan Bilzerian" is an excellent first step to keeping my interest.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/22 09:00 PM
5

That's not how the arranged marriages I know worked. And I know a few couples who met that way. It's closer to a set-up. You're introduced, with the idea that if you "click," you'll get married. Sometimes the couples already know each other, they just weren't dating--a girl I knew from college, from a very traditional South Asian Muslim family, had an "arranged" marriage. She and her now-husband had been friends since childhood, and their families spoke to each other and then their kids about if…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/22 08:14 PM
6

You didn't answer the question, though. It's valid and understandable to be lonely, but your ideas for curing your loneliness seem to revolve around women giving ugly guys a shot to see if attraction can be built. Shouldn't you be giving ugly women a shot and seeing if attraction can be built instead?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/22 08:04 PM
3

No, dating is a numbers game because, well, you're not going to like everyone, and not everyone is going to like you. This isn't a particularly new idea, either. My mother, who is a bona fide Boomer, is the one who first told me that the only way to find a prince is to kiss a lot of frogs. I'm also not loving the lack of agency here--I'm sure you can find someone who won't get bored of you....but what about someone you won't get bored of? (also, LOL at the idea that dating is more "commercialize…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/22 03:55 PM
1

Nic Cage? NOT THE BEES Nic Cage? I know the Manosphere has some old-timey frames of reference, but is he a go-to example of a heartthrob?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/22 07:16 AM
1

Is it Evolution Week here or something? Before everyone starts spinning their caveman Just-So stories, I'll point out one thing: to quote The Hunger Games, the way you survive is getting people to like you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 10:59 PM
2

Assuming your premise is true (it's not, IME, and people who think it is are ignoring that anger, envy, pride, relief, excitement, and lust are emotions), there's plenty of reasons: -Communication skills in general can lead to cooperation and cohesion in a social unit -Forming bonds with family, especially small children -Warning of danger to general cohesion before it gets out of hand -Evoking sympathy from others when you're in a bind That said, you're conflating "being expressive" with "being…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 10:57 PM
2

"Caveman eyes" enable a person to be a more skilled fighter? Then why don't we look like cavemen anymore? But again, in a social species (which humans are), the person in charge isn't necessarily the one with the most brute strength. "First judging" can mean something like "is that person at the center of a lively group of people" or "are they wearing expensive clothing and look prosperous."
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 09:52 PM
4

How do your facial features effect your capacity for, um, fighting? To say nothing of dominance cues that aren't strictly physical, but social.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 04:38 PM
3

Why would a man being pretty mean he cannot be dominant? Also, the study I think you're referencing has a serious issue with ho the rating works.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 03:56 PM
2

"Keeps"? Evolution is still going on, you know.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 03:56 PM
2

Are you taking it on faith that "nature" wants women in general to be attracted to men with high testosterone? Or do you have....evidence of this?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 01:34 PM
4

You almost have a point here. You're genuinely wrong that "rougher" looks turn women on, they just rate those men low because they're oh so confused. If that were true, women wouldn't be so into Timothee Chalemet, Rami Malek, Henry Golding, and other men who are kinda...pretty. That actually is the raw physical look many (most?) women prefer. However. For most women, simply looking good in a picture is not enough for a man to be hot. It just isn't. That's why "dating app matches" is such a bad m…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 01:12 PM
1

"A significant advantage" in what, exactly? Getting casual sex? Sure. Getting the sexual and romantic relationships they actually want? Nah. the people who have "a significant advantage" there are people with low standards, tbh. "Forced to settle below their SMV"? No? You're not "forced" to date of fuck anyone, thankfully. If you can only attract certain people, then those people are who you can attract. That is what your "market value" is. "Dual mating strategy"? Lol nope. Certainly not a "stra…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 09:23 AM
1

Anything illegal Anything where they were in a lot of physical danger day-to-day (professional fighter or football player, front-line soldier, possibly cop) Rich-kid leeches with a fake business Anything I consider immoral (arms dealer/ gun salesman/ Martin Shkreli)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 09:11 AM
10

I'd say it's morally wrong (and unpleasant generally) if you don't have romantic interest in this guy and know you won't in the future. But that last part is key. Because here's the thing. If I had been approached with that survey, I'd have paused. Because there have been a few times I've gone on a date with a guy I simply didn't know enough about to know if we clicked. And I was thinking "eh, could go somewhere, could go nowhere, but at least the food should be good it beats watching tv in my s…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 09:05 AM
3

Lol, but aren't you, like, very much not a hoe?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/22 08:33 AM
13

I mean, it would be a bit creepy if this person physically resembled me (paging Dr Freud!), but if my kid was dating or looking to marry a self-supporting PhD candidate who loved history, art, costume dramas, bad puns, and had a circle of eccentric friends, I'd think that was pretty cool!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/22 08:32 AM
3

I'm in my late 20s. I met my partner on Bumble. We have been together for two years now.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/22 08:25 AM
3

Serious answer: yes. Probably in roles that require less raw muscle mass, and more things like fine-motor skills. I'd expect a lot of women snipers and pilots, women in command centers for drone operations, etc. I modern warfare, going into hand-to-hand duels with your enemy is not nearly as important an aspect of combat as it used to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/22 08:22 AM
73

Are Norway Sweden and Israel not "liberal western societies" anymore? Because they have mandatory military service for women. And Ukraine isn't a bastion of liberalism by contemporary standards. It's waaaaay more liberal than Russia, but that's a bit like saying someone is a dwarf because they're shorter than Yao Ming. By the way, regarding the "women and children" policy on the Titanic it may interest you to know that the policy was new at the time of the sinking. It was instituted by the White…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/22 04:25 PM
0

The problem is that being socially nebbish is a neutral factor when it comes to if women are attractive Speaking as a formerly-awkward woman, you are very wrong. Also, you guys keep forgetting the 'presentation' aspect of physical good looks, and the importance of a social circle (which there really is an imbalance on--women have bigger social circles). college men largely aren't romantically or sexually active, and college age women are. Isn't it like 30% of college-age men and 20-odd% of colle…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/22 12:46 PM
2

First, in this setting there are more single 'alpha women' than 'less hot' women. Then these women aren't "alphas", they're average for their setting. Sounds like you're describing a literal imbalance in how hot and smart the men vs women are on a given campus. That being said, my point still stands. Even in college, you do not have to exclusively date your fellow students. Go to a townie bar or something if you're striking out with your classmates.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/22 12:19 PM
1

This is why the only 2 options are a) Drop out of the game or b) become the monster that women accuse all men of being. Being a beta is a death sentence in this country. Or....ask women on dates fairly early in your acquaintance? I don't see what's "monstrous" about asking someone on a date. Like, I actually agree with the comment you quote, but occasionally having unrequited feelings and it ending badly is kinda the price of admission for being a person. It's neither "dropping out" nor "monstro…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/22 09:16 AM
5

Where is your evidence that "most women are marrying a beta bux" other than your own bias? Also, you're perfectly willing to believe that women will settle (hence these beta marriages you're apparently seeing)--what makes you think that these 'bottom 80% beta whatevers" aren't....also settling? That they're willing to be in a relationship with this woman because Plan A of running around town fucking everything that moves didn't work out? If you're willing to say that women don't really want thei…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/22 09:14 AM
4

hypergamy where the smart, attractive, alpha-women who ran the college would complain there was no one good as the alpha-men How is it "hypergamy" for the smartest, hottest people to want to date other smart, hot people? Wouldn't men who these "alpha-women" didn't want be better off/ better suited to, well, less-hot, less-smart women?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/22 07:47 AM
2

Dear heavens, I know being a doomer is fashionable in certain corners of the internet, but this whole thread feels ridiculous. First, do you know how old 'millenials' actually are? It's a cohort, not a chic way of saying 'kids these days.' Most millenials are well into their 30s, and the average American millenial is married. It's not that 'marriage rates are going down" so much as age of marriage is rising (this is also in part why divorce rates are falling--marriages between older couples are …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/22 10:36 AM
2

Tumblr is a platform, like reddit. As for fanfiction, go to somewhere like archiveofourown.com and search through the "explicit" tag.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/22 09:07 AM
22

It's not a body or body part. It's a story. That's the difference. To (many/most?) women, an ass, even a very impressive one, absent context, is just....a bodily part. It's not sexual, it's kind of clinical. You want to see what women are really into? Go onto fanfiction sites. Go on tumblr. It's not about a body; it's about a story.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/22 04:13 PM
2

No. Because the minute a robot gets that advanced, it can reject you, as you pointed out. So you're back to Square One except now there's a bunch of robots around town going to robot bars to quaff motor oil, nibble microchips, and hit on each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/22 07:46 PM
3

So, I think interesting/uninteresting is one of those "eye of the beholder" things. To me, an interesting person is someone who holds an interest in, wants to do, and can talk about, things I like/care about/have curiosity about. An uninteresting person is someone who doesn't. So to me, Flamingo, an interesting person might want to talk about the latest novel they read, go to a new Klimt exhibition at the art museum, and want to try cooking crepes suzette or homemade Japanese curry together. An …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/22 01:37 PM
1

....Pardon? I want a guy who is into me. One of the reasons my boyfriend and I are even together is that he made it very clear he liked me and wanted to spend time with me. It never occurred to me that this was because he was some kind of human jellyfish, who any passing current would ensnare, and our relationship has shown me this is most certainly not the case. But even then, I just figured he, you know, liked me. If a man was "resistant" and "tapered" every time I tried to flirt with him, I w…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/22 08:51 AM
1

You are against a 25 year old dating an 18 year old, because they are supposedly in "different places in life". So, would you rather a 25 year schooled-at-home virgin old date a 32 year old single parent? Those are literally the same age gap--7 years. You are describing two age-gap relationships, or zero age gap relationships, depending on how you define an age gap. And yes, of course they are in different life stages. So the relationship is weird. As for the "brain development" argument, I actu…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 06:14 PM
1

I'm a nerd, not a geek. I'm also a social climber, primarily by accident though. My boyfriend sometimes teases me that I'm "a teaboo who went and did the thing."
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 04:00 PM
5

No, he just....was an arty guy living in NYC. Where, especially in the 18-25 demo, there are a lot more women than men, and where many of those women like arty stuff. Like, the levels of denying this stuff is getting silly.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 10:40 AM
4

I would agree with this take if anything these women had described was actually lovebombing. I looked at what they claimed he got up to, and it was just "appeared to be enjoying himself while on dates with them." He wasn't, like, proposing to them on the third date or calling them his soulmate or making plans to go on vacation or move in together or anything. He just acted like he was into the date, then ghosted. Douchey, but not lovebombing.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 10:29 AM
3

Fuck's sake. "Tell me you didn't spend your 20s in a big city without telling me you didn't spend your 20s in a big city." The WEC story has nothing to do with "Chad" or whatever. It has to do with how TikTok's algorithm caused an insane dog pile on a random guy who was behaving more or less how hundreds of thousands of 20-somethings in NYC in particular behave. You think there was something extraordinary about the fact that this guy had a bunch of dates and ghosted some women? Of course not! Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 10:26 AM
4

You can want something but not expect it. I mean....maybe postcoital heartbreak is worse than the risk of a guy leaving because you didn't put out fast enough? Just maybe? Like, if a guy has decided that rejection is worse than being single that's okay. He's entitled to just....not ask women out. I'm not going to be upset with him for it. But many men are very, very upset with women who decide that, well, their sexual timeline isn't worth the risk. mildly disappointed I didn't say it would be mi…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/22 12:40 AM
3

Where do I describe doing anything in bad faith? Is caution bad faith? Is appreciating that you don't know someone that well if you just met them bad faith?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 11:43 PM
14

I mean, a basic man probably WILL be really into that. I think the, ahem, off-center population in this sub forgets that, for every basic woman in yoga pants and a Rae Dunn tote who needs her daily Starbucks, there's a basic man who likes sports bars and playing Halo and popping his collar. Those are each other's natural matches. Quite a few men on this sub are weirdly invested in the sexual preferences of women who are very obviously wrong for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 09:53 PM
2

Where did I describe trust issues beyond the normal human instinct of not trusting strangers?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 09:44 PM
13

However I really don’t see any reason why waiting for sex makes commitment more likely other than if the woman was misrepresenting herself as more chaste than she actually is. That's not the point, though. It isn't "Oh, if we wait to have sex, he will think I'm a Good Girl and want to be my boyfriend." It's "I really like him, and I know I will feel even MORE attached if we have sex, and then be gutted if he ghosts, so I will wait until I can be reasonably sure he likes me back before going to f…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 05:25 PM
1

Women have never not been in the workforce. Never.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 01:06 PM
1

Who said anything about a website? I agree history education is lacking, so most people don't know these things, but I am a historian, so I do. You didn't answer my questions.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 10:47 AM
4

I'm an American. Nation of immigrants and all that. Way less creepy than "restructuring your federal systems to incentivize native births."
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 11:13 PM
2

At least two the supposed "truths" on your list are in fact lies, and the rest are universalizing garbage. Also, that woman's grammar is bad and I'm not sure why she feels qualified to be an authority on the subject.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 09:57 PM
1

I don't watch videos like that, let alone comment on them, so idk? Although did you know the positive comments were from other straight women and not, well, thirsty men?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 08:41 PM
2

It's not lying to say someone looks pretty when looking at their face delights you. That's what pretty means. Straight women aren't commenting on each other's sexual attractiveness; they are not attracted to each other! If you say "looking beautiful!" on a picture of your friend, who, okay, is probably not causing sexual delight to great hordes of heterosexual men with conventional tastes, but is smiling and looking happy, and wearing that dress you know she loves, and had her hair done, and is …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 07:59 PM
6

I kinda feel like in Japan and South Korea in particular, they have a very easy solution available to their demographic woes, they just refuse to use it: immigration. Migration is only going to get more and more normalized, I think. I do wonder though, if paid surrogacy will become more common and popular, as many of the people who want kids can't have them (older couples, same-sex couples), and vice versa.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 07:53 PM
1

Yeah, and I'm trying to explain why we DO feel the need to. Many women's love language is words of affirmation--if we don't say it, we don't feel we're expressing it. If we don't hear it, we don't feel it's been expressed.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 07:46 PM
1

Do you know what "love languages" are? They're not just for romance.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 07:37 PM
0

So let's try this with something we aren't all conditioned to lie about. Suppose your little cousin (of average intelligence/ability), who normally gets F's in school, manages a few D's this semester. Is it a lie to say his grades are good this time around? It is not a lie to say "good work!" When he tells you, all proud, that he upped his grades, no.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 05:36 PM
1

But....you just said that you wouldn't open up to them no matter what? That's literally the premise of OP?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 11:26 AM
2

As an example, if I knew you would forgive me for cheating on you, I might do just that. If I do not know how far I can push you... I will poke you here and there but I will never push you beyond what I think your limit is. But....this seems like setting both partners up to get less fulfillment out of a relationship than they could, because they're scared of each other? Like, I'm picturing two people who would both be happier in a "monogamish" relationship, but don't want to "test each other's b…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 11:02 AM
1

In what universe would I be bothered if a guy got into shape before I ever met him? This is not a thing? I'm glad my partner has opened up to me about some pretty serious stuff, first of all because I love him and I want him to feel comfortable with me, and second because it makes me feel more comfortable sharing my serious stuff with him, but also because, to be frank, if he hadn't told me about that stuff, I'd not have realized that was where he was coming from on certain things that have come…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 10:57 AM
1

Because "looking better today" is a reminder that you don't look good on average. It feels like it's trying to reinforce the idea that you don't look good, which defeats the purpose of a compliment. It's not "honest," it's passive aggressive.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 10:40 AM
5

This is correct, and props for you to being a good friend--that's how it should be!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 10:38 AM
1

Women who have never been fat might get MORE attention. But they still got attention, just for being not fat. I disagree, from personal experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 08:51 AM
11

Why don't more men think their friends are great and say so online?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 10:19 PM
1

Why would you think that how other women feel about you wouldn't impact a woman's self esteem? (and I fucking guarantee you that a woman who goes early grey at like 25 needs a colorist to date age mates)
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 10:17 PM
1

Grimes was never a "communist" she and Elon Musk got together because they were both supporters of fringe rationalist/futurist stuff; she was on the left wing, he was on the right, but it was the same philosophical community. I believe their recent separation was literally over a political dispute; no one said people have to have identical politics to their partners, hence the steady stream of articles by conservative men whining that liberal women won't date them. Surely by your logic, if men h…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 02:04 PM
1

I mean all our inventions are still by men. So you're not counting dishwashers, washing machines, chocolate chip cookies, anything involving DNA sequencing or radium, the literary genre of science fiction, the "month" as a calendar unit, in all likelihood the practice of painting, mRNA vaccines, laser eye corrective surgery, central heating, kevlar, or written computer programs as inventions? Interesting. But that aside--are you an inventor? Are all of your male relatives inventors? How much inv…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 02:00 PM
1

Some women are poor, you know? And even buying a bunch of cheap stuff off AliExpress (which will fall apart in the wash, leaving you back at Square One, before long, btw. If you need clothes on the cheap, your best bet is buying quality items secondhand) is literally out of their budget. And not sure why you would need a stylist at all. To have hair that meets contemporary beauty standards, many women need it professionally cut, straightened or curled, or even colored.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 11:41 AM
1

effortlessly at any time Really now? We've all got the Infinite Wallet to do full revamps at a stylist's and buy new wardrobes whenever? And we can grow our hair out on command?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 10:52 AM
1

And I do think being average weight and somewhat fit is enough to meet the latter. Well then, we disagree. I actually think being average weight and somewhat fit is a "nice to have" bonus regarding the latter; dress and ESPECIALLY hair is more important.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 08:53 AM
1

However, who gives a fuck about meeting beauty standards? Many women? Because having good self esteem Is often dependent of being accepted by meeting the social roles that are broadly expected of you. And for women, that means being pretty.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 08:23 AM
2

Exactly. So, again, options are limited to other minors (assuming avoiding gross creeps). Almost all high schoolers are minors, which, again, seriously limits who they date.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 08:21 AM
1

No arguing there--and plenty of guys and gals like them anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 08:20 AM
1

But you should only really do it with a partner. An established relationship or friendship. I've had strangers I was talking to for 5mins start telling me about childhood sexual assault. THAT'S trauma dumping imo. Don't go from 0-60 idle pleasantries to deep shit if you don't even know each other's last name. Oh absolutely. Honestly, this is part of why the manosphere obsession with having sex with strangers also skeeves me out? Like, there are some things that are pretty intimate, and are bette…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 08:19 AM
2

To date someone, you must be able to physically hang out with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 08:18 AM
1

to at least ensure that your appearance won't be what prevents you from finding commitment. But that's not what "beauty standards" means.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 09:53 PM
2

I think you are wrong on this. From everything I've seen, an overweight woman who's well-put-together will actually have an easier time dating than a slovenly fit woman, but that's neither here nor there. I think a lot of lonely men (and women) overestimate how appealing an actual commitment is with someone, even someone you find attractive, if you don't actualy like spending time with them. True compatibility, and even personalities that "click" are not easy to find.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 09:39 PM
1

Heh, good for you! And lbr, there are ladies that can rock it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 09:37 PM
6

And at 16, she will almost certainly have fewer options than she will at 23, because she's functionally imprisoned with a randomly-chosen group of peers due to an accident of geography.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 09:36 PM
2

This wasn't about being "acceptable enough for some men to fuck." We all know that bar is not high. Beauty standards are about being considered beautiful. There is a clue in the title. And to be considered beautiful, you're going to have to do a lot more than just be of average weight.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 08:58 PM
2

Doesn't keto give people cold sores?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 07:50 PM
3

Who wouldn't want to skip diet and exercise and just hit the mall instead? Literally every man on this sub whom I have advised to upgrade their wardrobe, apparently. But I think you're underestimating how many women who have never been fat noticed really marked differences in how they were treated based on how they dressed and presented.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 07:49 PM
22

There's a lot going on here, but I'm only going to say one thing: There's a contingent here obsessed with the idea that apparently a 30-year-old woman in a major city will have no choice whatsoever but to "settle" for someone she is not particularly attracted to due to social pressure and limited options. The fact that this does not describe such women's experiences from everything I've seen is made even funnier by the fact that it DOES accurately describe how dating in high school works.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 05:23 PM
8

I didn't say a word about who you'd fuck. I didn't say anything about you specifically at all. I was talking about who is or is not considered "beautiful," which is what OP is about. I'm well aware that many men would fuck a very wide variety of women. That doesn't mean they think they're beautiful.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 05:19 PM
5

I mean this with a ton of respect, but you've made it very clear you don't have stereotypical "guy in the manosphere" tastes.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 05:12 PM
7

a.) No, you will have a tentative booty call arranged that he may or may not ghost on b.) Or....she wants a guy who's also kind of into non-normative looks? Or she wants a girl?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 05:12 PM
4

Why do you think that "look" is actually pretty popular among lesbians and some straight and bi women in counterculture scenes?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 05:10 PM
7

That wasn't the question, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 05:10 PM
10

Most men would not be considered datable or attractive if they only had a buzz cut, wore cargo shorts, and regular t shirts. That's how guys in the military look and dress, and about half the guys who work in tech. They seem to do fine. And i don't know of any men who have to shave all their body hair so girls don't think they're gross. You can put your hair up in a bun for free and get it did for about 60 buck which last about 3 weeks. Assuming you have the type of hair that can grow bun-length…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 03:01 PM
4

I knew quite a few women in college who did just that. Not coincidentally, they were socially awkward and nice nerds and geeks themselves, which according to the manosphere doesn't count.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:58 PM
22

I don't like the term "shit test," but I do like this idea. Screening for someone you can trust, who will be supportive and compassionate if something gets rough, is just good sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:35 PM
22

I'm not "implying" anything except that most women you see every day are putting in a substantial amount of effort to look socially acceptable, let alone attractive. And I didn't even get into things like keeping up with changes in fashion. Being a "normal woman," as you call it, takes work.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:21 PM
1

These guys find it weirdly offensive that their sexual preferences aren't universal. Lots of guys like fat women. The kinds of guys I like, lots of women aren't into--it's just not a big deal.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 01:01 PM
0

So......just like the men a huge section of media etc., keeps insisting I should find attractive, but I don't? I don't care. The universe does not exist to sexually titillate me.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 12:59 PM
114

The only real standard is to be at a healthy weight and have a decent figure. That's only true if you think "the feminine-coded 'look' in 2022 is the default of how women look." A woman who is "at a healthy weight and has a decent figure" who keeps her hair in a buzz cut (the easiest and cheapest way to maintain one's hair), wears t-shirst and cargo shorts (cheap and easy clothing), doesn't shave her legs or under her arms, doesn't have a skincare routine and isn't one of those rare souls who na…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 12:57 PM
1

we need total deaths for any caused and then compare these with years before. That's literally what "excess deaths" is. It's how many more people died than in an average/comparable year. The OECD link makes this explicit, because they're regularly in the business of predicting how many births and deaths will occur in a given country in a given year. They contextualize this as "since January 2020" to give context to the impact of the pandemic.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 10:09 AM
1

Those are total excess deaths by country.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 09:12 AM
1

"Feelz tho"
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 12:27 AM
2

https://www.oecd.org/coronavirus/en/data-insights/excess-mortality-since-january-2020 https://www.cebm.net/covid-19/excess-mortality-across-countries-in-2020/ https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/coronavirus-excess-deaths-tracker
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 12:27 AM
2

No, they're from the government of Switzerland. Do you have some beef with the Swiss?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 12:20 AM
1

"Gene therapy" is not "any medical treatment with a component pertaining to genetics." It means something specific. And your bizarre "ooga booga it could do aaaannnnnyyyythhhinnnnggg" is based on nothing but feelz (and also weirdly ignores the non mRNA covid vaccines? As I said, J&J and Ox/AZ are traditional adenovirus vaccines, and I believe so is Novavax? People who are uncomfortable with mRNA vaccines are welcome to get one of those instead) Nobody knows anyone that has died. Liar. A family f…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 12:17 AM
3

"Gene therapy" is when a treatment alters the genes in your body. I've known people who've gone through it, and it's nothing like getting an injection and then walking out of CVS. Not when mRNA (different from DNA) is put into your body to convince your immune system that you already had covid, thus triggering immunity. You are apparently a conspiracy theorist, though, who believes "nobody has died from covid" (my friends who work in hospitals would like a serious fucking word with you) on that.…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 10:54 PM
2

You're just making shit up now. Look at the data for who's dying or hospitalized. A vaxxed and boosted 85-year-old with breakthrough covid has the same odds of hospitalization as an unvaxxed 25-year-old. That's INSANELY effective.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 10:47 PM
3

a gene therapy Do you know what gene therapy actually is? Clearly not. It has nothing to do with mRNA vaccines, let alone vaccines like those created by J&J or the Oxford/AZ shot, which are traditional adenovirus vaccines like the flu shot. Smallpox inoculation was quite new in the eighteenth century, and anti-vax campaigns around smallpox exited for over a century after the crossing of the Delaware. The US has (unfortunately) done nothing CLOSE to mandating covid vaccines. A true mandate would …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 08:49 PM
4

Vaccines have NEVER been 100% effective. The polio vaccine, developed by Jonas Salk and hailed as a medical miracle, and immediately administered to every child in America through the school system itself, did not prevent people from ever getting polio. It was between 80% and 90% effective in preventing polio-induced paralysis, the kind that put people in the iron lung. It was so effective in functionally eliminating polio in the US only because of near-universal adoption. That's how vaccines wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 08:42 PM
7

Please tell me what kind of stuff right wing people believe that is not evidently true. So, I'm not going to be uncharitable and just point to QAnon, who identify as right wing and believe that JFK Jr is still alive and part of a mystical conspiracy to take down a pedophile cabal.... but anyway... -"Government funded universal healthcare will force taxpayers to spend more on healthcare that they won't receive!" (in countries with universal healthcare, they actually spend far fewer taxpayer dolla…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 05:25 PM
2

. A couple of months ago I got propositioned by a woman who blew me off in 1995. She wanted to know why I didn't pursue her back then. Thing is I did -- she just didn't notice. Now that she's 50 years old with multiple issues I'm looking pretty good. This is a....weird take, unless I'm missing something? She didn't notice. That's not a rejection, it's that the object of your affections was a derp. I say this as someone who years later realized that guys I was into were hitting on me, and I was t…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/21 02:34 PM
3

hat being said, a truth can still exist about human sexuality where these people are just locked out of pursuing or engaging in this part of themselves via market forces. That's only if you believe that being "attractive" or "ugly" (for a really, really specific value thereof at that) is a 100% genetic thing that has nothing to do with your personality. Maybe you believe that. I don't. Huge, HUGE portions of what makes someone "attractive" or not are style choices, hair and grooming, wardrobe, p…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/21 05:54 PM
3

Yes! I mean, maybe if you're at Dartmouth or somewhere and you're literally 50 miles from the nearest town that isn't mostly retirees, but most colleges are in towns with plenty of people!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/21 04:06 PM
2

College students should consider dating people who do not go to their college if there's a big gender imbalance. That's all.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/21 03:30 PM
2

If you believe this, then you're going to have to admit that women talking shit about short guys or broke guys on Twitter doesn't really count either. Online shit-talking either counts, or it doesn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/21 03:26 PM
1

You....you do understand that even though OLD is popular, it's not literally the only way to get a date, right? My parents were not compatible, but they were each other's "paper matches" because of career, background, etc. They met in their 30s through a work friend of my ad's who was a grad school friend of my mom's. They got married in no small part because, well, they were both "ready to settle down" and wanted kids. This is not some crazy new phenomenon.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/21 03:22 PM
31

Then, again, women have no obligation not to be gold diggers, use guys for material gain, treat dates like casting calls, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/21 06:19 PM
61

Only if you don't complain about gold diggers, foodie calls, "job interview dates", "baby rabies," women being bitter or cynical or jaded, or any of the other baggage that comes with this kind of asshole thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/21 04:54 PM
2

From what I understand, if you're talking about child support, that's not a feminist thing. It's actually a conservative thing. The left-wing feminist argument would be against child support, and instead in favor of state-sponsored benefits for caregivers, thus giving single parents the ability to raise their kids comfortably without being bound to the child's other parent if that's harmful.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/21 03:00 PM
1

Men and women "unironically calling themselves witches" and maintaining at least an income, social circle, and community, is much older than the kind of millenial occultism that you're thinking of. Modern Anglo-inspired paganism is over a century old.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/21 02:56 PM
7

I mean, as woman, I really like that I'm able to pursue my passion career, can marry someone for love rather than fear, and will only have as many children as I and my partner agree upon. But ... you'd think guys would be more into the fact that they can have premarital sex without resorting to sneaking around with prostitutes, don't have to marry into a sexual (and at times emotional) black box, and can screen for things like financial compatibility to a greater extent than ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/21 02:54 PM
1

"Lack of full-time employment" isn't the same as being a breadwinner, and the study you cited literally shows this. Who earned more (i.e. "the breadwinner") wasn't relevant, only whether or not the husband had a full-time job. Not all full-time jobs mean you're a "breadwinner." A full-time musician, painter, wildlife rehabber, or some other low-paying passion career is still a full-time job. A full-time store clerk or waiter has a full-time job. I'd argue that many men are at loose ends with the…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/21 02:42 PM
1

I changed by choice. It's not easy, but it's not so uncommon, either.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/21 02:36 PM
8

This is not an inherently "undateable" man, and I'm generally fine with mental illness so long as it's managed, although depending on the mental illness in question, I could see some friction--I would not do well with a man who always needs an itinerary, for instance. (also the examples you gave are not exactly accurate--my ex had OCD, kept it under control with medication, and most certainly did not have those kinds of ritual behaviors--that's episode stuff for someone with moderate OCD as a ru…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/21 02:00 PM
1

You cannot seem to keep goalposts in one place, os this will be my last response. The argument was about whether paternal caregiving was a challenge due to something inherent and naturally determined, or due to social constructs. You have now admitted it is due to social constructs. You have been shifting the goalposts ever since.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/21 01:56 PM
1

No, you are not making sense. Not all jobs can or do have shifting hours that the job holder has no personal control over. That's not a feature inherent to work. As I mentioned, my job is on an all-remote team. I'll sometimes get an unexpected assignment--but I'll have several hours minimum to complete it. Managing one's time is a skill. You seem weirdly wedded to a model of caregiver/breadwinner, which also doesn't make sense, as dual income households with split caregiving responsibilities are…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/21 12:31 PM
1

So you're positing that a.) All work is the same as your work. I do not work in manufacturing, but education, and the system my company uses has not only kept it afloat but allowed it to buy out several of its competitors over the last few years. We do not require "meetings"--the team are all excellent written communicators, and we're across multiple time zones. Written works better. b.) You've shifted from "being a caregiver" to "being a single parent." Get your goalposts in order. Assuming a t…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/21 11:28 AM
5

Clickbait journalism is not a "conspiracy," it's a business model. You write an article titled "HORRIBLE reasons men won't date single moms," and single moms click on it, their friends click on it, angry men click on it, and the publication makes money. Heck, one of the publications you linked (Thought Catalog) regularly published TRP shit to enrage its hipster readership.....and get more clicks. I do think that you (general you) are missing the difference between "personal preferences" and "jud…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/21 11:09 AM
2

Ah, I'm sorry to hear that.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/21 11:04 AM
2

Why do you believe no one ever changes or gets to know themselves better as they age? I wanted to be a movie actress, but then I realized being filmed creeps me the fuck out, which means I'd hate a job based around it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/21 10:56 AM
1

Why not? People will always need to eat. You could work in a restaurant, or open you're own bakery. And culinary schools are really good at job placement. Go for it!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/21 10:55 AM
2

Men marrying at 18-22 was a weird 1950s blip. Historically, the norm has been mid-late 20s. Marriages were also frankly significantly less monogamous for most of history than they are today (adultery is less common and more stigmatized than it was a few generations ago). That said.....men aren't a hive mind, you know? Even assuming we're only talking about straight men, a polyamorous vegan dude is going to be horrified if the only girls that like him are Christian tradwives, while a guy who goes…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/21 10:54 AM
1

Then how do you get ideas involved and clarified in case things go to fuck all? Emails, or physical papers getting passed back and fortnwith notes. This is literally how my job that I currently work does it--we are an all-remote team and have "meetings" maybe twice a year. Social Construct is not the mental presence in those events you mention. It's the being mentally present that is the issue at hand. You assume this would involve multi-tasking. It needn't. Children sleep, or visit friends, or …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/21 10:45 AM
1

How, exactly, are these women aware of the size of a man's dick before they've seen it? And why, exactly, are they looking at the dick of a man they aren't sure they're attracted to? I didn't say there are no preferences. Preferences are different from attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/21 10:42 AM
1

Why did you tag me three times in this wall of text? I don't think you know what a social construct is. "Meetings" are a social construct. 9-5 working hours are a social construct. "Businesses" are a social construct, let alone business owners. The idea that a business owner needs to have a hands-on management style is a social construct. There is nothing "natural" about saying "work must involve attending meetings, and take place during traditional business hours." This is false, and I believe …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/21 12:04 PM
1

Looks like a Good Boy to me!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/21 09:56 AM
1

I love half that movie--they could have cut Cameron Diaz and Jude Law, and I'd have been happy seeing Jack and Kate pal around meeting old Silver Screen icons and falling for each other the whole time. XD
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/21 09:18 PM
0

Noooooo! Don't do it, girl! I know he's cute but think of the book cage!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/21 09:15 PM
5

FANTASTIC choice! He's one of the few men in fiction who can still be hot while having a sense of silliness.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/21 09:14 PM
0

I developed a bit of a thing for Jack Black after I saw him in "The Holiday" (he and Kate Winslet are so cute together! He's so funny and charming!)--took a long time to realize I wasn't alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/21 09:13 PM
2

I like questions like this, so I'll name a few: Of the Jane Austen heroes, I'm actually most attracted to Captain Wentworth--he's self-made, daring and intelligent (a privateer for the Royal Navy!), devoted and loyal, and writes beautiful romantic letters. SWOON. Tom Hiddleston is my not-remotely-secret celebrity crush, so I'll make no apologies for being attracted to him in The Night Manager and as Loki. Both characters, I like how they're refined and eloquent--TNM is dashing and adventurous, w…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/21 09:11 PM
3

Preferences? Sure. But what I'm disputing is the idea that a woman decides whether or not she's attracted to a guy based on his dick. If you're not already attracted to him, he is not going to be getting his dick out, period.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/21 09:03 PM
4

Why would men with larger penises have more sex if people don't know that beforehand? This is the missing link in the Great Dick Debates, and always will be.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/21 07:10 PM
0

This whole debate is ridiculous. No one is getting out the tape measure in the bedroom. And the idea men on PPD have that women are "attracted to dick size" or some such is nuts. By the time someone is seeing a dick, they've already decided they're attracted. "Big DIck Energy" isn't real.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/21 07:09 PM
1

Not necessarily because one can have a business as a business owner but if for once the business owner goes on a paid paternity leave and neglects his business, then his competitor takes his potential earnings. If he's too inept to delegate to competent employees while he's away, then he gets what he deserves. Not everyone is meant to be a business owner, and someone who has to be physically on top of his business at all times likely hasn't got it. The scenario I just pointed out can be applied …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/21 07:02 PM
2

They can't concealed carry a gun legally unless they've taken the class for it which means they know shit about how to use it. Depends on the state. And an illegally held gun is just as dangerous as a legal one. Still, by your logic, how do the guys that are assaulting the woman know how to use a gun but the guys who are watching don't? No, the guys assaulting women may not even be armed, let alone a competent shot. It's just that the bystanders are scared because that's a heck of a risk.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/21 04:23 PM
1

Not who you were responding to, but at-will employment is a social construct. Heck, salaried employment is a social construct. Ending at-will employment would mean people who take parental leave would not be "open to be replaced." The idea that remote employees are "out of the loop" is looking increasingly like a myth from where I'm sitting, and if anything, managers who are insisting that the value of the office as an institution is greater than the cost of having one are looking a bit old-fash…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/21 04:22 PM
2

I mean, that's fair, but I think it's also fair to assume that Pete Buttigeig talked it over with Chasten before he took leave. And there's also the third option, where he takes leave, she works, and he deals with solo house duty. Or whatever your gender combination is.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/21 04:16 PM
2

You're equating "carrying a gun" with "knowing shit about how to use it." This is not how it works.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/21 04:14 PM
2

Most women do not carry a gun. Men are much more likely to be carrying. Yes, so? The reason men don't intervene to "save" women is because whoever they'd be intervening against has a decent chance of being armed and able to kill them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/21 03:53 PM
2

Yuuuuup. They change their tune when the alternative is a strike...
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/21 03:52 PM
5

What kind of women does this guy like? Generic women, or a particular niche?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/21 01:52 PM
5

Right, because feminism. No, because cheap widely available firearms. That's why people don't like to intervene in the US. The only scenario you described where this is not the case (homelessness), is, well, you haven't provided stats just what you've "noticed". I strongly suspect what you're referring to is panhandling, which is a much more complicated case than you think.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/21 01:51 PM
5

Seriously?! What a jackass--glad you're out of that job.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/21 01:43 PM
19

Um, you do understand that this guy as, well, a man with many employees, has a vested personal interest in making his employees feel like "losers" if they take paid leave? As for this.... s it not common for women to complain that men do not adequately contribute to domestic duties, or that when they do the quality is subpar? Yeah, because the men in question are listening to this guy, rather than their wives, who want them to take on a few midnight feedings. It's a good and normal idea to take …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/21 01:26 PM
6

Um, Guy 2 sounds awesome and Guy 1 sounds like an ass, and a walking red flag. How is this even a choice?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/21 04:48 PM
3

Oh?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/21 07:09 AM
3

Then that's okay so long as they're getting them under control (therapy, meds, meditation, etc.).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/21 07:09 AM
0

Yes, at about 25 or so. It's a single red flag, not a dealbreaker, and it's a red flag for me personally, rather than I think there's something inherently wrong with them. That said: To me, it suggests a man who is either not particularly interested in or curious about sex (and as such incompatible with me), a devout member of a religious tradition that forbids premarital sex (and as such incompatible with me), or has such exacting and specific standards in a partner that it's doubtful I'd meet …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 11:35 PM
3

Perhaps in the late 60s, 70s and 80s, yes, but not the 50s, 40s, 30s, 20s, etc., and I'm not talking about unpaid work like doing laundry or mending clothes. Doing laundry and mending clothes were paid work. If rich people bring their laundry to your house, you wash it in an enormous tub with boiling water, steam it, return it to them, and they give you money, that is paid work. If the person who runs the secondhand store down the road brings clothes for you to mend, and you drop them back at th…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 09:38 PM
2

Regarding Unwin, the reason he's not respected is because he's a "social evolutionist"--a now discredited theory that civilizations move in a straight line from 'primitive" to "civilized". For a brand-new and VERY comprehensive explanation of why this idea of anthropology simply doesn't make sense, check out Graeber and Wengrow's "The Dawn of Everything". Back to Unwin, though, the idea that humans are either monogamous or promiscuous is pretty thoroughly discredited in and of itself, rendering …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 09:25 PM
3

Most women's work was menial and women did not get paid as well as men. Correct. The majority of women did not work. Incorrect. The majority were typical homemakers and wives. For a value of "typical homemakers and wives" that involved working at a job, yes. Idk what period in history you're referring to The 19th century in most of my examples, but when I say women have always worked, I mean always, the 19th century, the 18th century, the Middle Ages, Imperial China, hunter-gatherer societies, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 09:04 PM
11

What does this have to do with whether or not women have, historically worked?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 08:23 PM
6

Oh yeah. I read a piece about sharecroppers in the Depression once, "Cotton Tenants," and those women did backbreaking farm labor 12 hours a day--but referred to themselves solely as "wives" and "daughters."
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 08:22 PM
3

En masse, yes. Soon as that whole bit ended with feminism in the early 60s. No. The majority of work done in the world is not white collar work. The majority of women have always worked. They have been working class. Admittedly, many censuses in rural areas had a hard time reflecting this, because a whole lot of "farmer's wives" or 'farmer's unmarried daughters" would never have dreamed of listing themselves as farmers, despite tilling fields for 12 hours a day. You do realize that women were re…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 08:21 PM
11

What do you mean by "the same opportunity"? Women through history have worked, because they had to work. They worked on farms, and in factories, and in service. They worked legal and illegal jobs, savory and unsavory. They worked in schools and in hospitals. They worked because they needed to feed their families, and pay their rent. The only women who stayed home were the very rich--a class where, incidentally, the men did not always work either, something we have collectively forgotten. What wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 08:14 PM
6

It's funny, because my maternal grandparents were in many ways your classic 1950s American Dream couple.....and my grandma still worked.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 08:04 PM
1

Those other forms of "hedonism" you're describing are different from casual sex. For, while they offer pleasure, their primary motivations lie in other places. I wouldn't say that. When I look at a Renoir, my primary motivation is pleasure. It's to take joy in the beauty of the painting. That is pleasure, first and foremost. Casual sex is itself the "accomplishment", the enjoyment, the pleasure, but it comes with no sacrifice and no good to be shared for the betterment of society. I don't know a…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 08:02 PM
2

Again, given what you described about yourself, you're expecting me to believe that men in general do not get weird about sex? Are you saying you're a non representative sample, then? Because you've just described some pretty serious sexual neuroses.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 07:52 PM
13

Why exactly do so many people on this sub seem to believe that prior to the development of feminism (which, to hear tell, happened in the mid-20th century, so we're apparently ignoring Mary Wollstonecraft, Seneca Falls, and the suffrage movement), women did not work and SAHMs were a universal norm? This is ahistorical hogwash.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 07:47 PM
7

Women did not "begin entering the workforce" due to second wave feminism, that's insane. Heck, forget all those women working in the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory in the 1910s, who exactly do you think was working in the factories during WW2 when all the able-bodied men were drafted? Ronald the Riveter, perhaps?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 07:46 PM
8

You're 23, have slept with 30 women, seem to want to interrogate your potential partners about the intimate details of their sexual past, and are fetishizing virginity, and you expect me to believe that women, but not men get weird about sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 07:30 PM
2

What I'm hearing is that it's become common to have kids in ones' mid-30s. Why is that weird or shocking?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 06:35 PM
1

So first off, I'm not a guy, but a girl. And it's not even that I find value in sex because of its intimacy--pleasure is there and important too. It's more like the intimacy is an important factor in the equation. While I can see Kohlberg's point, I also think it's important that we not lose touch with our animal side. To me, the experience of hunger and eating is a very animal one, as is my reaction to the changing of the seasons. I'm not sure animals experience pleasure in quite the way humans…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 06:28 PM
1

I mean, I know a lot of fetishists, and I've....always had a hard time in understanding why people draw such a line at any preference that's unusual. You like skinny blond chicks, and check them out when you see them? Oh, whatever. You like fat chicks with purple hair, and check them out when you see them? Egads, a fetish! The problem is objectification, if you're objectifying people--not fetishes per se.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 04:14 PM
1

More like being appealing is a huge plus, and being promiscuous is only a minor negative. That's exactly what I was trying to get across!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 04:11 PM
2

Could you elaborate on why you believe that? I don't find it "undesirable" in a general or societal sense; I find it unpleasant. Sex is intimate to me; I don't care to tell my secrets or my life story to someone I don't know or like, so why would I want to have sex with them? The main question I have for you is do you think insecurity ever plays a role in people having casual sex? Sometimes, for sure. Actually, I think that in particular, the second is very common amongst the proverbial "sororit…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 03:48 PM
1

Well, I myself am not into what this sub describes as "casual sex" (by which they usually mean ONS or booty calls), since I find sex without affection kinda gross. But the reasons I've heard from people who do it are very varied, and include: -Sheer physical pleasure -A sense of connectedness with one's animal self -A unique way of getting to know other people -An act of compassion towards people who have a hard time getting sexual partners, but who the person in question does not want a relatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 02:51 PM
2

One of the zebras currently running wild in suburban Maryland is pregnant, so they clearly get around!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 02:29 PM
3

It's gross. If the guy was like 80, I'd probably shrug it off, but I sure wouldn't like it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 01:54 PM
2

I would think most people with a pone to pick would actually be those affected by the double standard, but then again, I wouldn't really know. I think it's wrong and I'm in a happily monogamous relationship, hate ONS/the hookup scene/etc. I just think it's wrong to be angry with people, or view them as damaged or repulsive, for giving you a thing you want and ask for.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 01:49 PM
3

You seem to be operating under the frankly bizarre assumption that there's an implicit, universal agreement that casual sex is bad, and that women who complain about double standards are upset that men "get away with it." Are you not aware that people can hold different value systems? And that evangelizing for one's value system is very common? Say someone objects to such a double standard because they love casual sex and think everyone should have it. So what?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 01:47 PM
1

SAHMs were not a thing among working class women in the1930s, what are you talking about? Women have always worked. What we haven't always had is the ability to take jobs that were very lucrative or required formal training, or control over our earnings.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 11:07 AM
1

You've never seen a young couple where the guy was Central American or Southeast Asian?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 11:03 AM
2

I've never seen a woman marry a man who was both wildly different, and less attractive than, her exes. I actually have both seen and experienced attraction sneaking up on you over time.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 11:01 AM
2

Technically one, sort of? I don't think it counts because she ended up marrying the guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 10:57 AM
–

This is not a debate team, it is a fight club. You want "civil and mature discussions," I'm sorry to tell you, but anonymous internet forums aren't the place for that. They are, however, a good place for a fight club to blow off steam.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/21 07:29 AM
–

There's so much wrong here I'm not sure where to start. Why is the handsomest man the best lay? Why didn't this handsome man ever fall in love? Where do women who are not "average or above" fit in? Where do couples who started as casual FWBs or similar fit in? Why can't sexy guys be commitment-minded? Where are you getting any of this?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 05:32 PM
–

Obviously, how can he "parent" if he is not there? Yes, exactly. The fact that his not being there is causing all this improvement in his son is not a ringing endorsement of him. You act as if a 12 years old can decide what's best for him in this case. Sure enough, he will say not to go, heck he wanted to stay and live with his dad, so it's kinda obvious. There is a reason why we do not give voting rights to children. They are lacking the capability to make decisions that affects their life in t…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 05:28 PM
2

How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 05:07 PM
–

This is a fight club. You come to the fight club for fighting. I have male friends on this sub. They know I do not "think badly of all men," nor do I think badly of them. (I also don't think it's such a grave insult for me to say things like "most men can't dress for shit") But when you come to the fight club, you fight. You do not say "I mean, I could do some fighting, maybe," while tiptoeing around the concept of a blow.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 05:01 PM
11

Men don't want to do a certain thing with other men because it feels sexually wrong. So does this mean men in North Africa and Japan, where emotionally intimate friendships between men are common and expected, are all gay? I disagree with the idea that most American/European men think it's "sexually wrong" to be emotionally intimate with their friends. I think that's a "you" thing. I think most men are just scared their buddies will laugh at them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 04:56 PM
14

You're telling straight men to be gay, Excuse me? When did I suggest men have sex with each other if they don't want to? it is not a problem for a kind of emotional intimacy to be linked to sex. It seems to be causing a lot of men to suffer, because they lose all emotional intimacy if they don't have a sexual partner, and it causes a lot of women to suffer, since they bear the burden of all their sexual partner's emotional needs. So yes, it is a problem. Your argument seems to be "but it would f…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 04:47 PM
17

If someone's culture is causing them to suffer, then I would absolutely tell them the culture is the problem, and that they shouldn't feel they owe it their undying loyalty. If a gay person is from a homophobic culture that makes them hate themselves, no shit I'm going to tell them their culture is the problem here. If someone is being abused by their spouse, but their culture tells them getting divorced would be The Worst Thing Ever, you better believe I'm going to tell them their culture is th…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 04:41 PM
10

But your conclusion seems to be based on the idea that this is innate; if it's cultural, how can it still stand?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 04:37 PM
26

You seem to think that the fact that intimate male friendships are less common in our current culture means that this is caused by something innate. It's not. Male friendships that were so emotionally intimate that they did border on the romantic, if not necessarily the sexual, have been a part of history for thousands and thousands of years. Emotionally intimate and fulfilling male friendships pop up in literature, art, and mythology across all cultures and times, including many non-Western mod…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 03:57 PM
1

Why is it bad to have a fetish? If anything, I've found men on this sub to be weirdly in denial that fetishists even exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 03:12 PM
4

Men and women, in my experience, have a weak preference against promiscuity. As in, all else being equal, they'd prefer a less promiscuous partner, but since all else isn't equal it's a trait they're likely to overlook/deal with. A guy who gets a lot of girls isn't attractive because of this, more like in spite of it, he's just that appealing.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 03:10 PM
–

proper etiquette Where are you getting this sense of etiquette? u/OmarNBradley is right; historically, the proper courtship etiquette in Western Europe and North America has been for women to entertain multiple suitors (and men to court multiple women) until a formal declaration of intentions was made. I can see exceptions to this (particularly in situations where both parties had known each other a long time prior to starting to date, or when they've been spending an overwhelming majority of th…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 03:05 PM
–

And his story is that this genius father of the year decided abandoning his kid was the best way to remedy this. And the fact that this apparently led to a vast improvement in the kid's mental health did not raise any red flags to OP or yourself about the quality of this guy's parenting.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 02:52 PM
1

The majority is filed because women are effectively too immature to deal with the fact marriage is a two-lane street and not the mememememememe Hollywood princess fantasy they envisioned it to be. Evidence? I'll admit mine is anecdotal, but yours sounds like you're literally just making shit up.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 02:51 PM
2

You are 28. Of course you are not going to want to be friends with college students, etc., because you have nothing in common with them. You should be hanging out with women in their late 20s/early 30s.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 08:38 AM
1

He actually did save his children's sanity, since his son's depression and anxiety improved right after they stopped seeing each other, just as well as his school performance. This is not the ringing endorsement of your friend's parenting you seem to think it is. try to imagine what happens when the parent with whom you spend most of your time with throws crap on the other parent on the dayly basis, while the other parent is trying to set the record straight. What kind of tension this causes to …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 08:33 AM
1

This sounds like a guy who, assuming it's real, doesn't know the difference between "I do not like casual sex" and "I do not like sex with strangers." It also sounds like someone who should have said he wanted to be exclusive if that's what he wanted.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 07:59 AM
5

What makes you think she didn't treat the FWB the same way? It sounds like they'd known each other for a long time prior to becoming FWBs. He was not a stranger to her when they started sleeping together. If your standard is "I would like to know someone well before I sleep with them" that doesn't actually preclude FWBs. When I was last single, the only FWB things I 'd ever tried, I'd been friends with for months beforehand.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 07:57 AM
1

That doesn't mean you're desexualized when you're not wearing makeup? Why would tired people be inherently nonsexual?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 07:46 AM
2

If a mother stopped seeing her kids because she thought parenting them through a difficult time was too hard then yes, that would be her fault. She would be abandoning them, yes. The very most I will give you is the possibility that your friend believed he was "saving his children's sanity" by abandoning them. In which case he is not malicious or negligent so much as deeply stupid.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 07:45 AM
12

It sounds like this man isn't "simping", he's a fetishist. Some people are. I would bet if she said "actually, I would prefer if I was your sub and obeyed you in every way," he'd decline.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/21 10:35 PM
5

A kind person is also kind to people he isn't attracted to. And doesn't develop a fixation on an uninterested party to target all favor.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/21 10:15 PM
5

Yuuuuup. Assuming it's a "nice but casual" date--which is what a first or second date should be.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/21 08:17 PM
2

I'm also in my late 20s, and you seem to be going the route of....normcore? Like, I'll admit that's leagues away from the "look" I go for, but those clothes just seem....plain. In the scene I inhabit, I'd tell a guy to get a really, really good blazer. Preferably built for him, but off-the-rack with alterations would do. A good pair of leather shoes--could be loafers if he's going the "Mr Startup" route, laces for the Old Guard. Have some athletic shoes with a little more pep to them--think high…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/21 08:15 PM
2

For a LTR/Marriage: -Similar life goals/visions of the future -Compatible ideas on how to spend leisure time -A solid career; finances are in good order -Compatible sex drives and sexual preferences (also attraction, but I think drives and preferences are often overlooked) -Enjoying each other's company in a platonic sense -Similar moral and ethical beliefs -General "life skills" are high in them AND those they choose to be close to (seems to be able to sort their living situation, job/education…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/21 08:07 PM
1

It doesn't literally have to be a briefcase, and formal leather shoes--it can be a backpack and stylish athletic shoes (I'll never get it but some people love them)/interesting boots/whatever. I'll admit I'm not a "shoe person" (I'm something of a "bag person" but my real "thing" is jewelry), but it's generally advisable to have a few fine things you take care of and make last forever.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/21 07:58 PM
1

LOL, you're not supposed to wear these kinds of shoes walking around outside. They're for work meetings, formal occasions, job interviews, etc. If you have to face the elements on the way in, keep your absolute shittiest sneakers in your briefcase and change in the restroom. That's also how women commute on public transport if they need to wear heels at work.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/21 07:52 PM
6

So.....clothes?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/21 07:23 PM
0

Look, let me tell you: I and most women I know have been harassed while wearing fucking parkas in snowstorms and shit like that. It's not the makeup. It's not the clothes.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/21 07:08 PM
1

Honestly, investing in a few very solid pieces, even if you get them secondhand, actually saves you in the long run. Stuart Weitzman boots last for 20 years, longer if you resole them. Payless boots last a season. You end up spending more in the long run replacing cheap shit when it wears out.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/21 07:04 PM
4

You don't even need to wear stuff that is.... "nice" (e.g. dressy) per se. Just creating an aesthetic for yourself that suits the energy you give off and the vibe you want to create is enough! Exactly! I'm not saying "wear a suit all the time" (unless, of course, you exist in a universe where suits are appropriate all the time), just....look like you thought about it. Whatever you're wearing, you just need to look like it was a conscious choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/21 06:59 PM
5

How, exactly, did you become noticeably taller in ways that weren't just, y'know, puberty?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/21 06:58 PM
52

First off, IF ONLY women were as desexualized without makeup as you pretend. I think you've been taking "before and after" promotional pics slightly too literally. But if you're talking about what men can do to aesthetically "light up" in a way.... It's not height it's clothes. Most men adamantly refuse to dress worth a damn, but dressing well is literally it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/21 04:01 PM
1

What, exactly, does one do to file for divorce? How do you do this thing? And I'm guessing your reasoning comes from anecdotes? Because my anecdotes say that people get divorced due to one party being abusive, having an affair, or having a fairly serious substance abuse problem (or chronic gambling) they refuse to treat. I have seen several divorces, none because someone got bored. Heck, divorces because one party became a religious fanatic are more common IME.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/21 03:58 PM
2

Yes, yes it is. His son was feeling sad and torn about the divorce, so this guy's response was to just straight-up vanish from the poor kid's life. That's abandonment.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/21 03:56 PM
1

Do you know what filing for divorce actually entails?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/21 02:11 PM
2

.....OP literally describes his friend giving up on seeing his kids because he couldn't deal with his son's emotional needs. Dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/21 02:10 PM
1

I feel this. And frankly, if your ex-husband is as bad as all that, it sounds like the best possible thing for your kids to NOT live with him all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/21 02:09 PM
1

My duties towards my kids trumps my individualism. Why is it your "duty to your kids" to stay married to a person you hate or who hates you? How does this benefit them? How does this benefit them more than having parents who aren't unhappily married? Growing up without a parent or putting them trough the divorce grinder is affecting them even more. There are a plathora of studies to prove it. No, there aren't. Growing up in a high-conflict marriage has been shown to be worse for kids than growin…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/21 02:07 PM
1

I've...heard them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/21 12:39 PM
2

Yeah. They just....don't do it for me. They seem almost like they're from a culture I don't understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/21 12:39 PM
2

Yes. And it's always been wrong. The fact that minors can't legally own personal or intellectual property is wrong. The fact that a minor in an abusive household has virtually no resources to turn to is wrong. The fact that you can legally drop out of school and take on employment before you can vote is wrong. The fact that you can join the Army and kill and die for your country before you can buy a damn beer is wrong. The way the United States (and, frankly, most places I can think of) treats m…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 07:56 PM
1

Yes. Then this is a weird question. It depends on the person--showing love is, by definition, personal. Like, I've mentioned how some of the most romantic presents I've ever received, other people haven't understood why I'd even liked them. But they were deliberately picked based not on knowledge of what's considered "romantic," but of me, and what's important to me. That's a strange idea of love - letting someone live in a temporary fantasy. Taking on something painful to spare them pain. It mi…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 05:34 PM
1

I asked you for an example of a person showing love in another way aside from just saying it. No? You asked for an example of an act of love that the object couldn't perceive as such? Am I mistaken? That's on you to provide a case for though. I....did. Was it....not obvious to you that swallowing your own anxieties and sorrows about losing your beloved relative in order to hide this from them, spare them pain, and give them opportunities to spend what time they have doing what they love is an ac…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 05:25 PM
1

We take men in love and measure the intensity of their love using their actions. We take women in love and measure the intensity of their love using their actions. Who's "we"? Maybe you do. I still hold my OP view because I don't see women often making the painful decisions to leave the partner etc. I was saying that maybe I did not notice or could not see because of the context in which it happens. I....literally described doing that.... (and no, nobody but me really understood what I was doing…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 05:23 PM
1

Again, you're asking for me to give an example conditional on an internal state. You can't then refuse to take that internal state at face value. Or fine, how about a non-romantic example? In the movie "The Farewell," the plot centers around a custom, apparently common in China, of family members concealing a terminal diagnosis from a dying relative. This is an act of love--it's meant to allow the ill person to enjoy the time they have without being afraid or sad. The person in question cannot s…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 05:12 PM
1

No, the object of love has a crush. The one in love is in love. But believes (possibly for good reason) that rejecting the one they love is more conducive to the loved one's happiness.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 04:52 PM
1

Can you describe at least one of these ways? The example you quoted is literally a description. No one can tell that their friend they have a crush on is refusing to flirt with them/turning them down because they are in love with them but believe they're so undesirable for romantic involvement that they shouldn't express their feelings. They just think their friend is acting neutrally towards them/ has rejected them.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 04:45 PM
2

I think that, while a certain amount of it is unfortunate but probably inevitable for safety reasons, we give children and teenagers far too few rights and resources. A high schooler can't even transfer to a different high school in their district without parental permission, which is insane to me. I also believe the voting age is WAY too high.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 04:43 PM
1

Like seil said, only if there are emotions will actions manifest. We have no way of reading minds right now. We need to rely on measures of feeling love. Words, actions are the measures we can use. So those two things are not disconnected like how you are trying to frame. Who are we measuring? You mention below that removing yourself from a situation if you think your presence will be bad for the one you love is a possibility, and yet your OP seems predicated on gestures a lot more visible than …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 04:42 PM
3

So you're referring to something very very different than feeling love. You're referring specifically to the actions involved in requited, or at least semi-requited love. You also seem to believe loving selflessly is inherently tied to being in a relationship with that person. It's not. I don't believe in love at first sight. That's just lust you're being frilly about. And finally, LOL at the idea that beauty is "intrinsic" in a way that "resources" aren't. I know people like to think it's that …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 04:18 PM
3

We disagree. And, again, how someone expresses love can be in ways that the object of love can't perceive. For instance, say someone with a serious substance abuse problem falls in love with a friend, whom they expect may be attracted to them. They believe that being romantically involved with their friend will be a painful experience for that friend, as involvement with addicts often is. So, they express their love by not approaching their friend, maybe even turning down their friend's advances…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 04:15 PM
5

But we're not talking about how the object of love perceives it. We're talking about how a person feels love. How that love is perceived is irrelevant to the discussion.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 03:35 PM
4

You can't say you love someone and not show it. Why can't you? And why can't a show of love be quiet, or expressed through lack of action? Not really. One is the cause and the other is the effect. Bullshit. If you're angry at your asshole boss, but don't say anything because they will fire you, are you not angry?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 03:25 PM
6

But OP seems to be describing action as much as feeling--if not more than. Having an emotion and expressing that emotion are very different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 03:15 PM
2

Yeah, but this is literally how I get to know people; they have to be a captive audience, first at school, and now at work. Whatever charm I may have works v-e-r-y slowly. Also, with any luck your voluntary social circle will emerge from these forced proximities. Even in late childhood my best friends were the kids who lived closest to me. Proximity. I hated school (and I'm not terribly fond of work either) but that's how I made my closest friends. I'll admit, I can't relate. I have had very bad…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 03:05 PM
8

Tbh, the more I think about it, I've only, ever, in actual life, heard the concept of "husband material" referred to when comparing a variety of men, usually men no women in the conversation have ever met (celebrities, fictional characters). The 'husband material' guy was the one who was hot, but also seemed like they'd be cool to hang out with. Example: "Of the Avengers, Tony, Thor, and Cap are all hot, but Cap is the only one who is husband material, because Thor is a himbo and Tony is an alco…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 03:02 PM
10

How, exactly, are you defining "love"? Let alone "unconditional love"?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 02:55 PM
1

I look back on it and what I see is a bunch of people who largely are still figuring themselves out as people, who have yet to develop their own moral center/sense of self fully, and the social environments that most teens are in end up being rather toxic, I think due to a lot of the forced proximity. Nailed it. Absolutely nailed it. Forced proximity is so toxic, and we understand that for any other environment, but put on weird blinders when it comes to kids/teens.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 01:22 PM
7

The difference is men don't sleep with one kind of woman and then marry a different kind of woman. What? "Girls for now vs girls for later" is literally a thing young guys talk about together.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 01:16 PM
3

I had a bad time of it, yes. But I also have a lot of philosophical objections to how the current system treats teenagers.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 12:14 PM
3

Eh, I mean, that's fair. I suppose to a certain type of person, finding out high school and college aren't like the movies is still a bit of a shock. I hope they calm down a bit, they'll be happier for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 12:02 PM
1

Late 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 12:01 PM
6

Teens? Fuck's sake, do you people understand what being a teenager is like? The idea that it's a remotely conducive environment to finding love is INSANE. Literally insane. Being a teenager is very rarely fun, is arguably not supposed to be fun, and is I believe the worst possible time and place for dating. High school students are effectively captives. Their entire social world is determined by an accident of proximity, and they can't leave. High school dating is legitimately the coldest and mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 11:19 AM
1

So you weren't pretending to be a Nazi or some shit, just a generically good looking guy? And SHOCK OF SHOCKS, you had better results from that on a casual sex-focused app that only gives people photos? Also, I'm telling you, saying "absurd and ridiculous" things almost certainly helped you, and would have helped you regardless of your photos. Boring is worse than ridiculous in a sea of boring.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 08:52 AM
2

hot Who said they were hot? But yes, racist and Nazi women exist, and I suppose some go on tinder. And doubt that "they're making a joke" would be the first thing that comes to mind since the guy was pretty serious and never gave off a hint he was joking, so yes both sound like mental gynmastics and excuses Having been on dating apps, while I never saw anyone claiming to be a Nazi, I did see people claiming, in the exact same deadpan way, to be Justin Beiber superfans, enjoy beating up puppies, …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 08:45 AM
1

"Nazis are attracted to other Nazis" is mental gymnastics? "That person who said a crazy thing is probably making a joke" is mental gymnastics?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 08:26 AM
2

These are all excellent points, but I think there's another one that gets overlooked: there are morally repulsive women out there. The small percentage of women who want to hook up with "Nazi Chad" may actually not be particularly shallow. They may instead... be racists/Nazis/etc. (I also think that there's, with both the Chadfish and the Cracked experiment, a shock issue. I suspect many people would see a profile of someone openly claiming to be a Nazi or enjoy tormenting homeless people and au…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 06:48 AM
5

LOL. Where do I start? First, my grandma, before she married my grandpa, actually was interested in a guy eight years her senior. Her family thought he was much too old for her, should date her older sister instead, and were pleased and relieved when she ended up with my grandpa instead. This was in the 1940s. Second, what "young" women do you know currently who are thirsting over Clooney, let alone poor Depp? Both are, well, kinda has beens--Clooney got the best results for that, with his prett…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/21 02:12 PM
3

Yeah--but I can't imagine anyone with even a passing familiarity with Yiddish getting salty about being called a mensch, while the guys here...
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/21 09:50 AM
1

I like how the "unattractive but not ugly" description is a pretty dead-on description of someone I used to go out with. So, uh, not that unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 09:06 PM
6

I think it was because no one would shut up about the fact that they didn't want to fuck them. Different thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 09:02 PM
4

Off the top of my head, I'd say 3 months and by desired I mean make it clear that they find you sexually attractive. I mean, by that metric, I've had WELL over that amount of time--in many ways as a result of my own social cluelessness, but even so (I actually think that quite a few men are experiencing that as well). And with that in mind, I'm going to stand by my point.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 09:01 PM
1

So, by your lights, even compliments about something that's not physical/potentially related to dating/etc. (like compliments on professional work or whatever) would be a big deal to guys? Because I'm happy to give that sort of thing out. I just don't want people to think I'm hitting on them when I'm not, which is why I'm wary of complimenting men who don't know me well.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 05:56 PM
0

How extended are we talking? And how are we defining "desired"?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 05:24 PM
4

I disagree. I think it's that men are more likely to be looking for sexual interest, and happy to detect it, whereas women have, on average, lower libidos, and prefer compliments they don't think have any sexual motivation. You know who tends to prefer compliments from men? Men who are attracted to men. Which kinda rests the case.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 05:11 PM
7

No. That's not enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 05:04 PM
8

I think for a lot of women it's the reverse. Compliments from other women mean more.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 05:03 PM
10

I'm a cute enough woman. I've used OLD when I was single. Again, I'm not doubting that there are many men who, were I single and looking, would be interested in dating me, either purely casually or potentially for something more. But. Again. It just.....isn't that important? Doesn't feel that good? I've been in a variety of cultural contexts, and how attractive I am has fluctuated wildly. And it just....hasn't been that big of a deal, unless I am actively looking for a partner. I do not WANT ran…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 05:02 PM
16

I think you may be overestimating how good and how common friendly/sincere sexual attention from various dudes is for most women.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 04:39 PM
12

A lot of the women here say they don't make compliments because they are afraid that their platonic friends would see it as flirting. No no, I don't mean from women, although that's certainly good too. I mean men should compliment and validate each other more. Men need more and more validating friendships with each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 04:39 PM
51

Women wouldn't go months without a single compliment in such a circumstance, because the bulk of compliments (and validation) the average woman receives comes from her female friends. I don't know why this sub finds that so hard to believe. This is part of why I have always talked about how lonely guys need more and more validating friendships. I also think you seem to forget that there is a contingent of women who live like this: they are women who are considered ugly. I have not heard of them …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 04:09 PM
1

So if, like me, you were quite a late bloomer when it came to all that you should.....not fuck your partner? For logic and consistency, of course. And does that work both ways? If a guy was OTT and goofy about his HS GF, and tried to, like, propose three months in, and was calling her his "soulmate" all the time, should he do all that (or more) to subsequent girlfriends to "prove his love"?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 04:03 PM
1

Putting aside the ACTUAL significant changes that would have been necessary to bring about this (Luddite authoritarianism spreading across two continents) and assuming it was more like a genie made them disappear.... People would just go back to bars. Many are still there. Frankly, the people who rail against OLD the most would probably benefit the least, since they ALREADY refuse to look at non-OLD ways of meeting people, and I don't see that changing anytime soon.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 03:22 PM
4

"For research."
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 03:19 PM
1

It's the other way around. Standards (for guys met IRL) go DOWN after you've spent any time on a dating app. Why? Because everyone is ruder online than they are in person. And the sheer relief of an opener that isn't a direct reference to your ass or whatever compensates for a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 03:17 PM
–

That's not a "women" thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 03:15 PM
1

Nobody ever calls a girl shallow for only dating 6ft tall or taller men irl or saying she wants an 8 inch dick Excuse me? There is a large, vocal gang of men on this very sub who do just that. And, I would argue, they are the direct male counterpart to the nuttier corners of Twitter/FDS in total. If what you mean is that other women don't do that, well, no shit. Do guys get upset when their bros want women with big boobs? No! That's not how any of this works! I also think there's a real problem …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 12:09 PM
3

Oh yeah--apparently I neither love nor respect my boyfriend, who is also Chad, so apparently the life of Chad ain't much either?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 11:44 AM
1

I mean, first of all, your cousin was talking about making a woman orgasm. That is FAR from a given in any given casual encounter. He may be getting all these women after him for his personal sexual skills as much as anything. That said, yes it's possible to not develop feelings. If an experience is not physically pleasant, that's ABSOLUTELY likely--why would you develop feelings for someone who put you through something that wasn't fun? I do not like sex without affection (I think it's icky), b…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 10:04 AM
9

Yup. Casual sex is actually a pretty incestuous gang, by and large.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 09:59 AM
7

Eh, depending on the day, I've been told here I'm either CLEARLY an extremely hot, barely legal woman if I could be so naive as to think "it is not exactly unicorn hunting to find a man who is attractive and has a job," OR I am CLEARLY a fat ugly hag who can no longer chase Chads if I could be so cynical as to think "age gap relationships where one party is barely out of high school are often creepy and exploitative." I suspect knowing actual details about me would not change this one iota.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 09:56 AM
–

There is a particular personality type that many people are attracted to, yes. Not all personalities or personality types are attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 09:46 AM
–

social skills, strategizing a social situation, knowing tricks to get and keep attention/interest. These are, in fact, parts of your personality. Learning them and getting skilled at them is altering your personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 09:45 AM
3

Then in what way is it rocking the tenets of a casual relationship to acknowledge its casual? Is it harmful to a business relationship to acknowledge there's a financial element?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 12:14 PM
1

I mean, such women may not be "shallow"--they might just be racist or have Nazi sympathies themselves. "Believing in evil shit" is not a male-only thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 11:44 AM
7

Why, exactly, do you consider "game" to be a shallow thing to be concerned with? It is literally personality. And, I hate to say it, but clothes are kinda personality too.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 11:42 AM
2

Most young women have instagrams where they can see and be dm'd by chad brandon and tyrone. LOL, that's not "most young women"--that's the girls you're attracted to, maybe, but even the majority of women on Insta aren't getting DM'ed by hot guys all the time. They themselves are simply not that hot. It's 20% of men having 80% of the sex. And women. And only for casual. 20% of men and women have 80% of the casual sex. Most women don't have much casual sex. At all. Fuckable guys vs fuckable girls …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 11:08 AM
1

strangers on the streets Again, IRL doesn't have to be (arguably shouldn't be) "strangers on the streets"--think friends-of-friends, people who came to a college alumni thing same as you, stuff like that. It hasn't been viable with COVID Are you somewhere that isn't majority-vaccinated? That may be coloring things a bit--cultural differences. I'm a woman, but I'm thinking of how I met dates when I was single--it was a combination of IRL and OLD, and let me tell you, I was WAY more receptive to g…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 10:03 AM
2

Or.....only about 20% of women want or enjoy casual sex. orgasm gap, safety concerns, fear of pregnancy, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 09:57 AM
3

I mean, yes, it's not easy. That's absolutely true. I think that may be a feature, not a bug. Men who don't get much attention on OLD forget that even if you get a lot of dates on there, you do actually have to meet them after, and if you don't have he courage to approach them and wit to have a good opener and conversation skills the carry the conversation, build attraction and take it to the next level You'll probably just have an awkward drink with someone and then they leave. The skills to "g…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 09:55 AM
1

Again, I think venue-to-venue it varies a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 09:51 AM
1

IRL has its own dating culture, and you DO need to learn things like what venues suit you best, but like, you can learn that.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 09:36 AM
3

If feels like most people in my generation are on online dating apps and online dating has always had an imbalance in numbers Again, stop using OLD--AT LEAST stop using it exclusively. Whatever it "feels like." The fact that someone has an app on their phone doesn't mean they cease to exist in the physical world. I legitimately think a LOT of lonely men download dating apps, don't do well on them, and then literally forget that they don't have to solely rely on them.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 09:35 AM
5

supply and demand dynamics. But that's just the thing--the actual world has a roughly 50/50 gender split. Tinder has a 70/30 one. The supply and demand dynamics are literally different.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 08:22 AM
2

Tbh, I don't think even virgins will cut it for Doc here. He didn't sound bitter about the existence of her ex as much as about the fact that she was hotter before they met. I think if it had been a bikini pic with her sorority, and she hadn't dated or slept with anyone, he'd still be salty.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 08:17 AM
6

Fucks sake, she had a boyfriend in college who was also in her college. Where does it say he wasn't "settle down material"? Because he played basketball while he was studying? Many men can walk and chew gum at the same time. He's just salty that she apparently doesn't look as sexy as she did then. The idea that it's some obsession with the boyfriend is dumb. I doubt he'd be chill if her boyfriend was an ugly dweeb when she was 20, or if she wasn't seeing anyone at the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 08:07 AM
4

Most women aren't on tinder, so when you talk about how to do well at tinder, you're already targeting a minority. Stop using tinder. In fact, tinder may be a good showcase of the actual 80/20--80% of casual sex is had by 20% of men and women. Casual sex is a subculture.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 08:04 AM
2

What relationship? You aren't seeing each other exclusively, you're dating casually. Are you supposed to lie, and pretend you're in an exclusive relationship when you're not? Is the only reason you'd mention another date to make someone jealous, rather than....you're being honest and don't want to mislead or blindside them?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 08:01 AM
1

Again, you're not understanding. The traits you would need to program to make it "indistinguishable from a person" would be complex decision-making skills that, as I said before, are getting to the hallmarks of sentience once it's genuinely indistinguishable from a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 07:59 AM
1

If you look further down this thread, I agree that companionship and affection are needs. What I disagree with is that these need to be sexual, or come from a sexual partner. We have some pretty serious cultural barriers against men forming intimate friendships, and it's a huge problem. Beyond that, we need to end the stigma against male competence at domestic labor and admin (or possibly create a stigma against incompetence in those areas), which has a very direct impact on the lifespans of sin…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 07:58 AM
1

im saying it would get better I disagree that it would/will get better. Some things have gone where they can go.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 07:56 AM
9

You do understand that college athletes also have to attend the college, right? If you go to a good school, the graduates will likely have good careers, even The Dreaded Athletes.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 12:12 AM
1

Dude, have you tried talking to a chatbot? Even one with a more-advanced AI? It's incredibly obvious you're addressing a machine within seconds.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 10:57 PM
-2

Even better to hear!
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 10:56 PM
2

But AlphaGo is a single-task AI; that's the issue. "Dating" isn't a single task like playing Go; it's hundreds, if not thousands of them. The comment I was responding to was about RoboCop; "being a cop" also requires an AI to know how to do thousands of discrete tasks. The more different things you want a single AI to be capable of, the more add-ons you're going to have to program into it, especially if they're supposed to be doing them simultaneously.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 09:51 PM
1

The response to what? You'd have to find averages of "the average woman" (....an overweight 38-year-old with partial college education if you're American) responding to input on every conceivable occupation, hobby, topic of interest, etc. And you'd have to make it able to recognize all the different ways that such topics could be broached so the guy doesn't have to feed it specific code words all night. And you'd probably have to get it to recognize (and react differently!) to different voices a…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 09:40 PM
11

Okay, so.... What do you think is an exact percentage of women who're into meaningless hook ups? Roughly 20%--this is the actual "80/20" of casual hookups; 80% of all casual sex is had by 20% of men and women. Casual sex is a subculture of sorts. Percentage of women settling for "betabuxxers" without liking them that much? Very, very low. Possibly higher in certain economically-depressed, low-opportunity areas (think like small towns where the only decent jobs are in construction). But of women …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 09:24 PM
2

The big money people care more about AI taking over than they do about "morality" and such petty concerns. Whom, exactly, do you consider "the big money people" when it comes to AI? Because the only people I've ever met with genuine concern about AI taking over the world are a slightly notorious online subculture, whom the AI scientists I know (most of whom work for the deepest pocket in this game--I'm sure you can guess which) think are absurd. Most people who actually work in AI/machine learni…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 09:11 PM
1

What, exactly, do you think we "already can program" that's indistinguishable from socializing with a person? Because I've never seen any such thing. Even chatbots are very obviously not people when you text them, and neural networks assigned to create things make hilarious messes of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 06:32 PM
2

You're still talking about the big-assed roomba. You can program a BJ Bot, sure. But don't expect to be able to talk to it. And don't expect anyone to find such an experience "indistinguishable" from dating a human.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 06:25 PM
8

So, I've always believed you're not exclusive until you say you are. Period. But that goes both ways. A man who is 'spinning plates' has no right to turn into surprised Pikachu when one of said 'plates' says she can't hang out, she has a date.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 06:23 PM
1

Because what you're programming a robot to do, when you're programming it to hold a conversation or even to have particularly lively sex is to react, and to get it to react to stimuli, you have to first get it to recognize and understand those stimuli, and none of that is a one-to-one process.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 06:19 PM
2

There are pretty tough standards even around the welfare of livestock (it's one reason they're hesitant to import meat from the US), but cruelty to animals as in domestic pets is literally a crime with sentences.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 06:18 PM
8

That's fair. There's a lot of things I dislike but don't think should be illegal, so I'm there too.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 05:37 PM
2

Lol, from what I gather (and this is mostly through what my friends have told me), that's not really possible. Think of building that kind of robot as more like building a brain: we have capabilities more than directives.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 05:36 PM
2

It is not possible to "program" something that can, for instance, keep up a conversation the way a human date would without it being able to think in ways that make it much closer to a living being than a "toaster."
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 05:34 PM
0

I'm suddenly feeling really grateful for how seriously UK law takes cruelty to animals.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 05:33 PM
2

Sounds hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 04:40 PM
3

What I'm saying is, you can't create something with a reasonably good ability to mimic a human being without approaching sentience, because of how machine learning works. That's not how it works, that's why you get such ridiculous results when you try and get neural networks to write things.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 04:39 PM
3

Sentient AI isn't inevitable, but what you described isn't possible, no. It's either Bigass McRoomba or sentient robots, but the kind of in between you're thinking of can't happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 04:38 PM
45

I want it legal, regulated, and taxed. I have actually been to Congressional hearings on prostitution, and criminalizing it makes it much, much harder to report abuses against sex workers, and much harder for trafficking victims to come forward. Beyond that, two consenting adults conducting a voluntary business transaction is none of my business.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 04:14 PM
2

OMG, that poor parrot! :( That should be a crime--it's appalling that something like "parking in a permit zone" is more illegal than torturing an innocent bird.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 04:09 PM
4

I'm assuming AI will be made in a way that it will not have a free will to reject to serve a human. Not saying this will not happen, but if we make a sentient AI I think we will also make a "lesser" AI that is not sentient and that's what dating bots will essentially be. See, I actually know quite few people who work in AI, and what you're describing isn't...exactly possible. To make a machine that can simulate all the things you'd want from a human date, you kind of have to make it able to thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 04:07 PM
3

I actually kinda don't think that? I mean, given the human tendency to pack-bond HARD with any creature we spend enough time around (dogs!!!!), I think that "robot rights" will be FAST on the heels on any significant social contact with robots.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 02:42 PM
7

The only part I never like about the idea of future Lovebots is how it sounds like sci-fi slavery. If the Singularity actually occurs and we have to make a program to essentially brainwash the androids or robots, that's just...no. Yep. I think that's the real issue with sufficiently-advanced AI. Once you've got what's basically an inorganic person, you're going to need their consent.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 02:37 PM
15

I disagree with the body of this, but agree with the title. The real reason AI/sex robots/etc., will not change the dating landscape is that most men, even lonely ones, don't want to fuck what is essentially a roomba with an enormous rubber ass--which is what "sex robots" are likely to be for quite a while. Now, assuming AI technology gets good enough that a robot is indistinguishable-or-near-to compared to a human, you run into another problem: you're approaching sentience. Meaning the robot ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 02:35 PM
1

I know a few, but they voted Dem now.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 02:27 PM
3

I'm far left by US standards, centrist by the standards of where I live now. I do think it's important, because shared values are important in a relationship. I would date a moderate Tory, or a Rockefeller Republican who doesn't support the current antics, but someone who isn't pro choice/is against LGBT rights/ is anti-immigrant/ is a climate denier/ has politics that are just racism is a Hard No. I also couldn't date a straight-up communist.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 01:39 PM
4

I don't recall ever making personal statements about you that weren't direct responses to something you'd just said.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 12:58 PM
8

Is lying immoral? Because that's what you were doing. Lying.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 12:53 PM
3

No, I'm not. You don't know me or my life, so I'd rather you didn't put words in my mouth.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 12:52 PM
3

No; threatening to leave someone (as a regular thing; I disagree with the idea that single ultimatums are abusive) is a tactic to control them/ keep them "on a leash." Leaving someone is just....leaving them. You don't owe anyone a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 12:02 PM
4

No; that's how it works.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 11:56 AM
6

Do you think that a men's self-improvement and dating forum that didn't involve men talking about how women should be enslaved or coerced, encourage men to lie to women, claim that women are incapable of love, go absolutely ballistic at tips or advice that didn't fit their narrative, or (in the case of incels) literally refer to mass murderers as saint, would be met with the same hostility?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 09:16 AM
2

threatens to Who said anything about threatening? I did not mention threats. Threatening is a different matter. I said leaving. I did not say physical force was the only kind of abuse. I said your definition of emotional abuse was wrong. Not that it didn't exist. Just that you were bad at identifying it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/21 08:22 AM
2

I didn't say "sick." I said "mental illness." Different thing. My mother was of the school that said you treated a partner's mental illness the same way you would a physical one--you stay and try and care for them. I wish, for the sake of my entire family, that this had not been her mindset.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 09:32 PM
2

Which is verbal, emotional, and mental abuse; and which is also manipulation, deceit , fraud, and subterfuge. "getting dumped" is not emotional abuse, let alone "fraud." When your BF asks you to hold his stuff, you're in a position to say 'no' and "fuck off" if you want to, and he has exactly fuckall to say about it. He could break up with me. I am not keeping a slave. Same as you can break up with a woman who doesn't suit you, same as she can break up with you if you don't suit her. People can …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 09:20 PM
2

"Intimacy and companionship" are not the same thing as "sex." Hence why lonely single people are often better off seeking close friends than sex workers. Intimacy and companionship absolutely are needs. They're not sex. Sex can't be a "need', because that would make asexual people medical miracles.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 09:17 PM
3

I mean, no one is obligated to ride out a partner's mental illness, and whatever is going on in such a situation, they are clearly deeply mentally ill.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 09:16 PM
1

The equivalent would be a guy telling a girl on a first date "you're kinda chubby huh" to see how she'd react. That's literally a known PUA thing. Maybe that girl who was rude to you was the kind of woman whose male counterpart would be a PUA?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 09:15 PM
0

I mean, there are poor people in low COL areas, but I do genuinely think that people should be more open to moving in general, and am quite vehement about this, if you're looking for a gotcha.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 08:32 PM
3

A. It is not 'verbal, emotional, and mental abuse" to ask someone for things. They can say no. If you're too chicken to say no, not because you fear violence, not because you will be berated, not because you will be isolated from your support network, but because your girlfriend might dump you and then where would that leave your dick, that is on you. B. Bullshit. It's asking for a hand with something. Am I the victim of a power play or shaming when my boyfriend asks me to hold his stuff when we…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 08:31 PM
3

But you're not cheating. You're just having emotions. If you don't want to just....be openly non-monogamous....then you're gonig to have to feel your feelings. Let them be there. You don't need to act on them. They're just feelings. They pass.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 08:28 PM
5

A feeling is a feeling. You have to keep it in your head. You think no one feels compulsions to do immoral things except you and your libido? Shit. Imagine if "b-b-but I get angry sometimes" was used to justify random violence. "b-b-but I get horny sometimes" is just as dumb. That said, if you don't want to be monogamous, you needn't cheat. Just....don't be monogamous. Be poly, date poly people. That's a thing you can do.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 08:27 PM
16

I mean, how new a mother are we talking? If the child is less than six months old, wait for her to initiate (and offer to do a few late night feedings yourself). After that, just see a doctor. Like, childbirth does a lot to a body. TRP likes to pretend that human bodies never do anything weird, that the mind controls all. This is false. Some people have hormone imbalances and shit, and the obvious solution is a medical one.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 08:24 PM
1

"You're so skinny" is a weird way to flirt if that's your way of flirting. Literally the only times I would say that to a guy are admiring weight loss or as an inroad to offering to cook for him. Both are flirtatious. it's specifically a form of flirting that involves saying something to see how the guy reacts (is he insecure, or is he cool and going to have a quip back). It's specifically a female thing to test out the guy's self-esteem and mental frame Nope. It's acting in a way that would be …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 08:20 PM
4

Shelter is a need. People die of exposure. They don't die of horny.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 08:16 PM
3

I agree that emotional abuse is bad, and a valid reason to leave someone. I do not think that all of the things you described are emotional abuse (certainly not "potentially gaining weight"--c'mon).
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 08:07 PM
3

It is not "emotional abuse" for someone to ask if they look fat. Fuck's sake.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 07:39 PM
0

Literally NO ONE but you was claiming anyone didn't "decide to have sex". That was not on the table. You are raging at a ghost. You know how men don't like starfish sex? But a man whose only ever had starfish sex might not realize there are more fun options out there? THAT's what we're talking about. Whether it's casual or not, whether anyone decided anything or not, is IRRELEVANT.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 07:38 PM
2

So, if someone upsets you you don't want to fuck them, yes? Manipulation, deceit, fraud, and subterfuge are always domestic violence. A. No they're not. B. Asking someone to hold your purse is not "manipulation, deceit, fraud and subterfuge"--it's asking a favor. If your girlfriend becomes unpleasant, dump her. That's all.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 07:35 PM
2

So....flirting with a guy is a shit test? You just described flirting.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 07:32 PM
3

I think you did.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 02:05 PM
6

What exactly do you mean by "not working"? I didn't describe this as being an upsetting experience. And it's not exclusive to casual sex--I know women who've been in committed relationships for years having the kind of sex I described, and not knowing it was bad, because, again, it wasn't The Worst, it didn't hurt and wasn't upsetting, it just wasn't pleasurable and didn't result in orgasm. And not knowing what it feels like to have an orgasm, or pleasurable sex, you have no way to know it could…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 01:59 PM
2

Not entirely unlike 3, but not quite the same--"SMV" and "looksmatching" are borderline false flags when it comes to why couples tend to, on some level, look like they "fit" together. What you're seeing isn't "looks" in the sense of raw physical stock, but more like "presentationmatching" and it's borderline orthogonal to raw stock. Why do really fit people tend to pair off? Because they're well-suited to each other. They will agree on things like "how much of one's free time should be devoted t…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 01:38 PM
1

Yes, that's really healthy and leads to a happy relationship. Yes, someone can be "considered happy," as can their partner, if they do not act on every single sexual impulse that comes into their head--just like we don't act on other impulses and it doesn't mean we are secretly unhappy. This ridiculous idea that every intrusive thought we have is a "true desire" while the things we build our lives around are, idk, "false desires", has gotta go. I was actually reading something recently by Julian…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 12:55 PM
10

What in the actual fuck? Isn't the supposed "shit testing" like, asking a guy to hold your purse at the mall, or saying "do I look fat in this dress", or dithering about where to order takeaway from or whatever? If these situations lead you to punch walls and shit (not that there's any excuse for domestic abuse, whatever the "trigger"), that's because you're a psychopath, and your girlfriend should leave you.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 08:03 AM
2

So what you're saying is that guys who promote the idea of shit testing are egging their fellow men on to become domestic abusers?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 08:01 AM
2

So, I'm not single, but even if I was, I find ONS personally repulsive and wouldn't want any. That said.... I think "hookup culture" (or, if you prefer, the sexual revolution, casual sex coming out of the shadows, etc.) is a net positive. Why? First: I want a partner, not a hostage. I don't date the hapless horndogs TRP claims make up most men, and I like knowing my boyfriend is with me because he wants me and cares for me, and not because he couldn't get laid otherwise. I like that men who woul…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 07:51 AM
3

I just keep saying the same thing over and over: Stop sleeping with fucking strangers "But he was so nice, he made me breakfast in the morning" Ladies, the worst person you know can be nice for a day, especially if they're getting what they want. If you want more commitment out of someone, stop sleeping with random dudes on the first date. It is exhausting. Even if you want a friends with benefits situation, the keyword is friends. Literally all of this! I actually think most women are a lot mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 07:45 AM
11

I think you might be misunderstanding what she's saying. It's easy to forget if you have no upfront experience, but the yay/nay of sex is a lot less ... obvious if you don't have a dick. Without boners and ejaculation, when sex takes place inside your body, it's possible, and even common, to have sex that didn't arouse you or make you orgasm and not know it. Because you have nothing to compare it to. She seems to be talking about having sex that was, in retrospect, bad, because she literally did…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 07:41 AM
1

No, you misunderstand what I'm saying: I have a hard time imagining how attraction could be there without much/any talking. Even an extremely handsome man doesn't register as a sexual option to me without some conversation. A man I haven't talked to is nonsexual to me in the same way a painting or something is nonsexual to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/21 10:59 AM
1

It's parasocial, and many YouTubers have written about it. Some don't like it quite so much when it gets to be more than just receiving Patreon money....
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 04:20 PM
2

I mean, there literally are men who make money at least as good as your average OF content producer working in host clubs in Japan, or being escorts in Bali, or as gigolos for rich older women. There are men who run straight-up "romance scams" to get green cards and shit. I've yet to see people outraged at these men, except perhaps the last category. And the host clubs are pretty directly comparable in terms of selling fleeting emotional connection, and predate OF by decades.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 04:18 PM
2

The vast majority of women do not tell men to die for any reason. I'm sorry if you've encountered a vocal minority. I also suspect that there are many people who you would absolutely find it gross were they to ask you out (for instance, if an 80-year-old woman asked you out, or someone who doesn't match your orientation). It's never okay to tell someone to die for asking you out, though, and I doubt you would. That said, while it's good that you, personally, would not say crude or unkind things …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 03:47 PM
4

Do you really not consider people you don't have sexual interest in/ people whose sexuality you don't like to think about "subhuman" or "not fully human"? What on Earth does that suggest about your relatives? Or old people? Or children? I sincerely hope you're not considering your relatives or kids in a sexual way, but I should also hope you don't view them as "not fully human"!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 02:57 PM
1

Go for full? That'll usually get you split at least. But if you go for full, you have to be ready to get it. pay equal money into a common account that can only be used for things like insurance, sports, and daycare. This is a pretty good idea, actually. Equal or proportionally equal (as in, equal % of income). That said, I'm always a little hesitant about how quick claims of alienation on the part of the ex are trotted out, because I was caught up in something like that as a kid, and....no. It …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 02:41 PM
1

Why should he be bound to the mother? Just the child. No need to keep people romantically bound to each other when they don't want to be, just make them take care of their kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 02:36 PM
1

Most women will be easily overpowered and disarmed by a man even if they have a knife. But not a gun? Bullshit. Knives are also damn easy to conceal, far more so than guns. I can just guess the history isnt comparable. Not true. And you want to talk about comparable history and culture, look at Australia--probably the most culturally and historically similar nation to America after Canada, banned guns in the early 2000s. Were there adjustment pains? Yes. But it happened. We are too far down the …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 10:41 AM
2

Do you get bonus points if the same poster is also deeply, deeply insulted at the suggestion that many women have reason to be frightened of men?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 10:34 AM
1

Actually, for stopping a rapist, specifically, most people have far better odds with a knife than a gun. Knives are inherently close-range weapons, but due to the nature of the crime, the criminal is close up indeed. You have much less to worry about in terms of aim or accidentally hurting yourself, meaning you're less likely to hesitate, and that can be crucial. They're always "loaded" and you don't have to worry about ammo. Then there's the fact that quite a few types of guns are almost imposs…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 10:33 AM
4

I have quite cheerfully dated bisexual men who've been with other guys, but a guy who's been with prostitutes raises some questions to say the very least.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 10:20 AM
5

If the current guy who's dating her is happy in the relationship, maybe he's into that? If someone is a nutcase, you'll figure out on your own soon enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/21 02:38 PM
10

I'm not. The answer is No. Not having broken up with anyone is a sign of ... not wanting to break up with people. That's all.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/21 02:22 PM
6

Did you read the OP?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/21 02:21 PM
6

Yes, it is the women who are crazy in this scenario, and who don't seem to know what they want, of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/21 02:09 PM
–

Kanye is pretty visibly severely mentally ill, but I feel like most women would be seriously happy and excited to date Michael B. Jordan, who's not only rich and famous, but very handsome and fit--even if some random internet man thinks he's "weak".
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/21 02:08 PM
15

Men of PPD: "Women have no loyalty! They'll dump you at the drop of a hat!" Also men of PPD: "There's something shady about a girl who doesn't want to break up with a guy she's with!" Shit, I thought you all WANTED a girl you could be relatively confident wouldn't drop you out of nowhere, now you're skittish that you found one?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/21 01:55 PM
–

I mean, just because you're attractive to someone doesn't mean they'll pursue you. Some men are shy, or under mistaken impressions about whether or not you're single. Some women are bad at sending out IOIs, and come across apathetic unless they're direct. For such women, or women who are attracted to a man who isn't the bold type, it's best to say your piece.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/21 12:58 PM
–

I mean, they're not that random. If you get to talking to a guy at something, or see his profile on a dating site, and think he seems cool, why wait and hope he'll say something? Why not save everyone's time and go for it?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/21 12:43 PM
6

impose commitment The fuck? It's a date, not "commitment." No one is proposing marriage to strange men.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/21 12:09 PM
6

Elon Musk is a great example. This guy was almost entirely wiped out by his divorce. So much so that he struggled to even begin Tesla because his X-Wife had used the courts to steal all his money. "Steal"? Signing a legal contract as an adult is a thing people do. If you're afraid of losing money in a divorce, get a prenup like a fucking adult. Don't come whining because you signed paperwork you didn't read. We are talking about situations where the police come in and are able to establish that …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 06:32 PM
5

Divorce lawyers make billions every year. So? Elon Musk makes a lot of money, but very few people drive Teslas. Most divorces are uncontested. Well the most recent study showed that when a claim of abuse is made during a divorce proceeding it’s proven false about 75% of the time. When an abuse claim is made in a normal situation it’s proven false just under 10% of the time. That’s a huge gap. "Proven false" is not a thing that actually exists in legal scholarship. That's why people are found "no…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 05:54 PM
5

I have a dear friend who is a 40-something virgin. She's a devout Catholic who doesn't believe in premarital sex, and is disabled, which makes dating complicated. She's a lovely sweet person, but not someone who gets male interest exactly. I entered my 20s without having slept with anyone--I was shy, and didn't want my first experience to be with just whoever.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 05:51 PM
8

.......most divorces, even among rich people, are uncontested and do not involve lawyers. That said, why do you think that claims of abuse are false? Surely your spouse abusing you is a good reason to divorce them?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 05:43 PM
1

I mean, this is assuming that I'm married and have formed a family with someone, in which case--nah. I'd say the better thing would be, like both partners put in a certain % of their income to a joint account, and skim the remainder off the top for personal spending (clothes and luxuries).
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 05:41 PM
6

You are just making shit up, from what I gather. Women do not slut-shame. They DO shame for breaking Girl Code, or for dressing/looking trashy. But a single woman who goes around banging a lot of single dudes is looked at one of two ways: Admiration/intimidation. Think "the Samantha" from SATC. You know you couldn't be that way yourself, but you're impressed/ a little in awe of her. Pity. For the other kind of promiscuous woman, the one who, unlike "the Samantha" wants a relationship, and is so …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 05:38 PM
1

Biggest winners: men who are willing to admit that dating outside OLD is still an option. Biggest losers: men who aren't.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 09:16 AM
7

So, you're not actually talking about marriage rates. You're talking about birth rates. Different thing entirely. When I hear someone who is (presumably) male reduce declining birthrates to whether or not women are keeping up their end (so to speak) regarding sex, I want to ask them a question. And now, OP, I will ask you: How many children do you want? Not how many you think would be "good for society," not how many do you think you can afford, how many do you, personally want? Birth rates drop…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 09:08 AM
2

Dude there is nothing "normal" about "instantly" going from 0 to fucking, even in the animal kingdom. Most creatures who reproduce sexually have mating rituals--dances, offerings, competitions. All creatures with limited reproductive capacity are meant to have selectivity. Maybe you're just projecting?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 06:53 AM
2

But that part of our nature never evolved, we are just animals when it comes to reproduction. Evidence? Neuroplasticity has exploded in just the past few centuries of human evolution--it's entirely possible that there would be some spillover into reproduction. Moreover, we may be animals, but we're social animals, and all social animals select, reproductively, for mates that seem to be accepted by the group or have the relevant capacity to be. What that relevant capacity is varies. For my person…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 10:00 PM
2

I mean, the primates close to us whose reproductive habits are the most...consensual...(bonobos) do have existing social bonds with their partners, usually from living in a band together. They don't just up and fuck strangers. However, we are not bonobos, chimpanzees, or even Neanderthals. We are people. We have evolved, and that has come with changes. You want to talk "genetics"? In a world where intellect is the perhaps most relevant factor in how much you'll earn and how well your kids will d…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 09:30 PM
2

We weren't homo sapiens before we developed language--language is as old as vocal chords. And pretty much all primates have some form of vocal communication; you're talking about the reproductive habits of creatures far removed from humans.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 09:23 PM
30

This question is weird. Sex is a two (...) person activity. I am not "giving" it to anyone like it's something I hand over. The sex I have in a given relationship depends as much on what my partner likes and wants as anything. If you're talking about more exotic acts, I would never do those with someone I didn't know well and trust and care for. I think this sub uses "FWB" differently than I do. To me, a FWB is literally your friend. If you stopped hooking up, you would remain friends. You do ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 09:11 PM
2

Your username is a reference to the Luffwaffe, and you unironically use the word "degenerate," so I think we're done here.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 09:00 PM
1

I always assumed they knew they were talking to women who were only humoring men they had romantic feelings for. It never occurred to me they would need to say that. I think this is less an FDS-specific problem and more a dating-advice in general problem, but I think a lot of people, women in particular, get so caught up in having a partner at all/one who doesn't treat them like crap that they can literally forget to check if they enjoy this person's company. Men who can't afford to date those w…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 08:59 PM
4

They don't seem to care about actually liking the guy. Insisting that he pay for everything, regardless of both your finances. Wanting a dude to go all-in on commitment before you even know each other--and the nutty timelines. The TERF shit. The sex-negativity/projecting their own sexual preferences onto All Women Everywhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 07:53 PM
4

It's the unvaccinated that make being anti vax their whole identity and post anti vax shit 37 times a day, then die from covid. Yeah, I don't like to take pleasure in anyone's death, but if someone's been going on about how vaccines are evil, covid is fake, blah blah blah, maybe making money of a hoax cure grift, endangering kids and cancer patients and stuff with their unvaccinated asses...it's hard not to feel a kind of grim satisfaction when they get sick.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 07:50 PM
6

So now she's safe from covid AND doesn't have to deal with a tinfoil hatter? I know she's sad now, but that's a win-win.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 07:46 PM
4

I just can't see it. Again, more power to you, takes all kinds, but unless the talking works, I have a hard time seeing someone as fully "there", let alone fuckable.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 07:44 PM
10

before much or any conversation. This is so alien to my experiences that I can't even imagine how it would work. For me, being attracted to someone without any conversation is like trying to be attracted to, like, a table. I guess there are people it works for, but damn, it really takes all kinds.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 07:35 PM
3

I like the metaphor, but tbh, I think there's a version of it that's also if anything more common for men-- you see it here when guys claim that All Women Everywhere are into clubbing and posting thirst traps on Insta.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 06:23 PM
1

It takes at least one solid conversation. Sometimes more. But at least one solid conversation. A man, even a physically beautiful man, I can't talk to doesn't register as a sexual option to me, in the same way a bouquet of beautiful flowers or a fine antique vase doesn't register as a sexual option to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 06:18 PM
2

https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america I know the IFS isn't the best source, but even so...
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 06:15 PM
9

70% of people never cheat on anyone. If you keep running into cheaters, that says something about your preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 05:04 PM
26

Do you know what "filed for divorce" actually means? It doesn't mean "ended the relationship." It doesn't mean "requested to be divorced." It literally means "did the paperwork." I know several women who "filed for divorce"...because their husbands moved out on them, and requested a divorce. They literally just handled the paperwork side.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 05:04 PM
4

I asked once " why would women have babies if they might die". The guy that answered me believed that women don't know that could happen. ......well damn. That's...wow, even for here.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 12:37 PM
11

Exactly! I kind of wonder if these people have never had to leave a job, or end a friendship that had become painful, or had a falling out with a relative? Like, it's not fun to break up with someone (or enforce boundaries in general!), but it's not The Worst Thing Ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 10:12 AM
15

Why do men think that an exclusive, monogamous relationship = life long commitment? I think a lot of men have a deep, unconscious horror of inertia. They think that if they get into an exclusive relationship, they will fall into a kind of coma and wake up in 20 years with 5 kids and a ranch house that they had absolutely no say in acquiring. They're more scared of having to break up with a girlfriend they're no longer on the same page as than of being lonely forever.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 08:44 AM
81

You....you understand that (deliberately asymmetrical poly relationships aside), people commit back, right? That if a woman wants you to stand by her side and forsake all others, she is also doing that for you? And maybe you don't care about that. Maybe you're not monogamously oriented, or maybe you've never really liked a girl. Maybe you really don't mind if your "best friend you have fun with until you drift apart" (which, btw, is not remotely how I'd describe my relationships with my best fri…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 08:40 AM
2

Something no one will be comfortable admitting: The women who are actively, consciously choosing to avoid relationships and instead have only casual sex would not, one hundred years ago, been cheerfully fucking Poindexter while married/ in a relationship. Women who actively choose not to have a relationship are generally making that choice not because of some great fondness for casual sex, but because of a great dislike of relationships. Were casual sex not an option, they would most likely choo…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/21 04:58 PM
2

What you're describing isn't "honesty" it's word vomiting, and it's a compulsion, not something healthy or good. Everyone is entitled to the privacy of their own mind--no one should share their every single thought with another person, that's codependent and nuts.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/21 12:22 PM
2

Yuuuuuup. Tbh it's....exactly the same as an inexperienced girl who goes out with a flashy jerk, gets burned, and thinks "shit, maybe I should have some sort of standards beyond 'is cute and made a pass'" but admitting that would mean that no one is "utilizing dual mating strategies" or whatever--it's just most people make a dumb mistake or two when they're young.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/21 05:35 PM
1

Thank you! I know lots of guys, of a wide variety of ethnicities/education levels/backgrounds, and they just ... have some standards and sense of dignity, and don't freak out at a few-months dry spell if the alternative is a gross or crazy woman. (I also know quite a few guys who actually would prefer a cute-enough woman they actually got along with to a total babe who was also a total loon, but that's the advanced class for guys like who think every man is a near-incel)
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/21 04:44 PM
1

I can't speak to the black American community (I'm guessing you're American? So am I but I don't live there) as a whole--my black American friends I mostly met through college and grad school and are careerist nerds like me and date similar guys; my high school was mostly Jewish/East Asian, and the "type" that was most popular was more like lacrosse bro, who might be obnoxious, but isn't precisely a "bad boy." Might be more to do with local culture/history than anything?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/21 03:57 PM
3

So, I think you're maybe missing an elephant in the room here? You're presenting two different guys as options, but--and maybe this is me coming from my own perspective here--why on Earth would a guy who travels around, tries different activities, and has hobbies and interests Want a girl who seems primarily interested in sitting in a car smoking weed? Wouldn't he prefer a girl who has interests and stuff to say? Like, I've never dated a guy who lives a life of crime, which is what you seem to b…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/21 03:45 PM
2

I mean, this sounds like a kink, which, more power to you. I'd feel bad for a guy who was involved with a woman he didn't like to make rent/keep the lights on/whatever, same as I would for a female sugar baby in that situation. But for people who are just into a power play thing or whatever? Go forth and be happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/21 06:15 PM
13

So, you're asking why "the same woman" who has a history of abuse has a hard time maintaining a functional relationship with a normal guy? This is what's known as a "cycle of abuse." People who have a history of being abused become used to it. Even though they don't enjoy it, it feels familiar, and they end up recreating the same situation. When these people are in a situation that's not abusive it feels really weird, and very foreign. And, whether consciously or not, they often torpedo these mu…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/21 05:52 PM
1

Those are all excellent points. I do wonder if there isn't an imbalance between the people who want to, and would be good at, raising children and the people who are best equipped to physically gestate them. Like, anecdotally, there are a lot of same-sex couples, well-established but older people, infertile couples, etc., who would quite like kids but have trouble with the physical production--more options around things like paid surrogacy might be helpful all around in those cases.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/21 02:57 PM
2

I have been told on this sub, repeatedly, that I am lying when I say what I like in a man, what my dating history is, and how I have faced various scenarios. I am not, but so it goes. I actually think that most people aren't "lying to themselves" so much as they are a little dumb and not particularly observant. And, well, there's a very specific idea in dating about which aspects of your partner are the horse, which are the cart, and what order they go in, and while many people who struggle to m…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/21 01:20 PM
1

So why are the financial incentives so taboo to discuss?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/21 01:17 PM
2

Tbh, I think there's a radical baseline overestimation of how many children most people actually want. I would, going off mostly suspicion and anecdata, say that in a vacuum, with no financial obstacles and plenty of access to contraceptives, most people only want one or two children. That's how many they feel they can care for and bond with in the way they want. That's how many fit their vision of their life. People don't want huge numbers of children; those that have had them in the past have …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/21 01:16 PM
4

Why isn't she just poly/open then?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/21 08:00 AM
6

Breaking up with that person wouldn't make you homeless though? It would make you stuck in a terribly awkward living situation/possibly sleeping on the couch (or you'd have to call the cops on them depending on how these drunken rampages are going). But neither of those things make you homeless, and I know people who've done them. That said, abuse is the one situation where I can shrug off cheating.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/21 07:58 AM
5

I've never cheated on anyone (and I've been in the exact "situations" RP claims women will irresistably be drawn to cheating in--international LDR, getting hit on by attractive men, etc. I just...didn't). There's exactly one situation I've ever seen someone cheat in that I had sympathy for: people in abusive relationships (like, straight-up being hit) who leap at the first person to shown them kindness/offer to help them. So, uh, "not being controlling" is literally how you avoid those condition…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/21 07:56 AM
2

BP guy sounds awfully sweet... I'd probably prefer him (plus, he's not even technically married).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 06:16 PM
2

May I ask what the difference is between "RP HVM" and "BP HVM"? I'm picturing, like, an oil baron and the director of a successful startup, but I know that's silly.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 05:24 PM
3

Seriously how tf is it even possible to like two women at the same time? Ever have more than one friend, or celebrity crush? You think love is a joke? Love? She'd been on a handful of dates with these guys--they were near-strangers! The idea you're supposed to love someone after a few dates is WAY more damaging than dating a few people casually.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 05:21 PM
1

I mean....they were on a dating app. This was from Hinge. The whole point of apps like that is to go on lots of dates with lots of people and see what clicks. Ordinarily, I would say "if you break up with someone, even non-exclusively, you should probably let that go," but also....he was leaving the country. It sounds like that was a pretty significant drawback that no longer exists. As someone who's moved around a fair bit myself and moves in circles where people go abroad a lot, breaking up wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 05:14 PM
1

It depends on what they're looking for. Some people's standards for a relationship are "my Fantasy Dream waifu/husbando, no exceptions." Some people's are "any mammal that doesn't sexually repulse me." I don't care how "active" these two parties are, it's going to take the former a heckuva lot longer than the latter to meet someone. Are you looking for someone you really click with, or just someone okay to go out with? You've described this person's social life sort of, but do they have any part…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 05:10 PM
0

If given the same opportunities, would the discrepancy disappear? Opportunities aren't "given"--that's the point. You have to take them. If they took them, yes, the discrepancy would disappear. That's kind of the point though. You're essentially saying "If introverts just started behaving like extroverts, they wouldn't have the problem that introverts have." It's not "behaving like an extrovert" to do meet people and go out. It's just behaving like...a person who wants something. It doesn't have…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 05:52 PM
1

First, MBTI is a horoscope for a specific type of nerd, so let's not get too into that. With that being said, what the internet calls "introversion" is actually shyness, or possibly antisocial/misanthropic tendencies. Introversion is when socializing tires you out; it's not when you hate it. Shy people get fewer dates because they go out less. They talk to fewer people. They have smaller social circles and take advantage of fewer opportunities to expand them. This isn't about "attractive" or "un…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 04:48 PM
1

And quite frankly most don't want an intimate relationship with their friends. Its not even out of fear of judgment there is just no desire for it. Um, most of history and many present-day cultures would disagree with you on that front.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/21 09:42 PM
3

It's really well-studied that men have a harder time than women forming intimate friendships, and that this is a big part of why single men struggle with loneliness more than single women.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/21 07:35 PM
1

Everybody? So, like, if you went on Twitter right now and said "I HAVE HAD SEX WITH THESE WOMEN--AND HERE ARE MY CRUSHES" with a list, you'd get hundreds of likes and comments from people in other states and countries? Or do you mean people you know or are within your social circle?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/21 05:48 PM
6

Why do you equate loneliness in general with not having a romantic partner/ not having an "advantage in dating" or whatever? Like, I genuinely think increasing loneliness is a problem! Especially for men! I think narrowing "loneliness" to "singlehood" is more of a cause of that problem than anything! People need friends. I don't know how to make it simpler. But people need friends, and it is hard to make them, but....people can do things that are hard. Or cringe. Or whatever. Doing the difficult…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/21 04:37 PM
5

Are you a public figure? No? Then I will tell you a secret: Twitter does not care who you fuck. I think this is possibly bullshit (a performer hitting on over-18s at their shows is just ... normal, not "sexual predator" behavior. It may, depending on circumstances, be gross, but plenty of gross things are not predatory). That said, this woman said he harassed and assaulted a variety of women, I am not sure where you got that he was merely hitting on them. If that's true--NO FUCKING SHIT that's p…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/21 04:28 PM
2

Its not like the father can just walk up and see his kids. Isn't it? Does he have a restraining order or something? He can clearly communicate with them--he somehow managed to ask the kid to get on the game, so it's not like they can't chat in other ways. It's really just the game. the child, like everybody, has to learn about OWNERSHP and BOUNDARIES. Want to know something fucked up? If that child is under a certain age, he actually doesn't legally own anything. His custodial parent owns his pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 10:51 AM
–

Prostitutes standards, both in Wilde's time and now, were "will he pay me and not become violent." Again, men of Wilde's generation were not having lots of casual sex with women they picked up at bars. They were going to prostitutes.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 10:29 AM
2

Again, only if you think chasing hot people is something done only if you think you're hot. IMO, many people approach it more like entering a lottery--"Hey, you never know."
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 04:41 PM
2

But they clearly don't think they're so hot. They're just shooting their shot.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 04:16 PM
6

There's nothing sinister about mistaking someone's age when you first meet them--I get taken for much younger than I am quite often. It's not even reliant on makeup--some people just look like that. This is why it's a good idea to learn some basic information about people before you sleep with them. There are also some pretty fucking obvious context clues, though--I don't care if the girl talking about her AP Exams "looked older"--leave her the fuck alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 03:50 PM
1

Where exactly have I ever said "you can't change attraction"? That's a TRP belief. But the specific thing I'm referring to is the idea that women think they're hotter than they are. Which is false.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 03:40 PM
5

Regarding the women underrating--doesn't that disprove the "women don't know their league because they think they're so hot" thing certain TRPers are always on about?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 11:43 AM
2

From whom? Whom, exactly, is this guy talking to/hitting on/whatever? (also, LOL if you have been on this sub for more than an hour and haven't seen that many men, presumably members of "polite society" FLIP at women with height preferences. And double LOL if you think there are no men writing physique preferences on their Tinder bios too)
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/21 09:20 PM
3

Having is not wanting.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 02:14 PM
2

You're assuming that the only condition for happiness is having everything you want. It's not.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 10:49 AM
1

and where is that instinct developed? It's not "developed" any more than an instinctive attraction to bright colors is developed. I'd guess it evolved because of the physical dangers of pregnancy. I'm saying it's informed by the fact they have choice - which is different to men. As long as prostitutes exist, men have choice to have sex with plenty of women. They choose not to. For all your talk of "starvation," many men do not do this, nor do they seek out demos of women whom they are not attrac…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 10:48 AM
1

It certainly seems weird to OP and likely a lot of other women too as it implies low status of the man having not had many relationships. Even you qualified it by saying if they were long term it's fine. I assume anything called a "relationship" has to have lasted a while. But I wasn't "qualifying" so much as explaining why that seemed, just, normal to me. Can you see how if you add these two concepts together and generalise a little, you end up with men that haven't had the same sexual opportun…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 10:05 AM
4

I think that being sexually submissive is more common, regardless of gender, than being sexually dominant (a huge amount of mainstream porn is light msub, but no one likes to think of it that way). Being submissive can be very relaxing for some people. I think it's harmless if exercised responsibly with a partner you trust. A lot of anti-porn discourse is just vanilla women who are projecting their sexuality on womankind as a whole. The reason I have issues with porn is because a lot of time the…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 07:04 AM
1

I HAVE met women who are unable to attract any partner. Visibly disabled women are still women. Women over 50 are still women. Women with alopecia or dwarfism are still women.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 06:56 AM
10

Even that--there is a condition. It was just met early. That they be your children. You didn't pick them at random.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 09:34 PM
0

It wasn't about being "tired of casual sex"--I elaborate in my comment. They were physically tired. Men of Wilde's generation were not taught any domestic skills, or even how to find and hire servants who could do that stuff. They didn't buy houses, but lived in "rooms" in blocks with other bachelors. They were expected to manage a social calendar and networking--something their wives would take over when they married. When Wilde was talking about men being tired, he meant overworked, not bored …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 09:30 PM
1

There are. I've met them.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 09:26 PM
1

No, I meant SMV. How many people you've slept with doesn't make you hotter or less hot. It DOES give some insight into how you view dating and sex though.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 09:26 PM
2

They choose not to fuck hookers. That's where Wilde's generation got their nonmarital sexual experience. With professionals. This was literally a point discussed at Oscar Wilde's trial for homosexuality. Modern men have every bit as much opportunity to pay prostitutes and have sex with them as Victorian and Edwardian men did.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 04:43 PM
-1

I agree with some of this, but modern men have the exact same opportunities to fuck around as the men of Wilde's time and class did, they just choose not to use them. Those men were fucking prostitutes.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 02:19 PM
1

I think you're missing a lot of context around this quote. Wilde was a late Victorian, and a member of high society. The men and women he was referring to were of his own class; the "tiredness," in particular, is something that no longer makes sense today, as most men have at least some domestic skills, and do not live in weird blocks of flats filled only with other single dudes until they marry, as they did in Wilde's time and class. Most men are not marrying because they haven't had a homecook…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 02:19 PM
1

The second guy has much higher RMV. A guy who has elected to have a hundred ONS and no relationships is a guy who has zero interest in relationships. And...frankly I'd be a bit uncomfortable around him. Sexual experience is irrelevant to SMV.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 01:33 PM
1

But none of that has anything to do with r or K! You're trying to apply a very specific biological concept with a really clear definition to something much fuzzier.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 01:31 PM
1

Being "tempted" does not mean acting on a temptation. Anyone can have a feeling; so long as it stay in your head, it's just that. A thought. I know that men are. Lol no. They may have idly wondered about sex with them, but I guarantee you men aren't sexually attracted to their female friends who are fat or butch-looking.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 01:30 PM
1

No; she claimed being domestic, not merely "nice", would kill a particular erotic fantasy she'd built.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 01:29 PM
1

It's not just "to build sexual tension." It's to build intimacy, not necessarily sexual. Flirting with your friends makes you feel closer.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 01:28 PM
1

One is a blonde skinny women with long straight hair, the other is chubbier with tattoos? There are two different photos.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 01:27 PM
1

It's not EVERY woman though. Ugly women exist and still count.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 01:27 PM
1

Being a "single parent" is very common in K-selected species, though. Bears are K-selected, and they're extraordinarily antisocial. The idea of the nuclear family is a human invention 9and more modern than you think).
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 01:26 PM
2

This is insane. People who want to cheat will cheat. People who don't, won't. All of this "ooga booga temptation" talk is, I think, a way for people who want to cheat to justify it. Why do you think people are sexually attracted to their friends just because they're each other's preferred gender?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 02:25 PM
2

There are literally no human cultures that leave infants to fend for themselves, which is a hallmark of r-selected species.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 02:22 PM
2

Or....she's not hot. I think this sub defines "women" very narrowly.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 02:22 PM
1

No; you've just arbitrarily claimed muscularity is a sign of being "bad."
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 02:21 PM
3

Dude, there is NO SUCH THING as an r-selected human being. Our infants gestate for 9 MONTHS. They are helpless for half a decade. We are preposterously K-selected.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 01:33 PM
2

Sure? So long as he wasn't being crude about it, I would prefer a man who noticed my body and found it attractive, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 01:15 PM
1

His wife thought about it for a minute. “Actually, probably not,” she said slowly, as if hearing the contradiction even as she was speaking it. “The vacuuming would have killed the weight-lifting vibe.” No, it's because they denote provisioning ability. Vacuuming is not provisioning; it's domestic maintenance. Which is often positioned as the distaff counterpart to provision, culturally.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 01:14 PM
6

That's literally the argument my home state made upon opening their first casinos.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 06:35 AM
1

Gambling is illegal because of old laws based on nineteenth-century religious views that most people don't hold anymore. But the fact that gambling is currently illegal (sort of--private poker games are legal under certain circumstances) is not necessarily a good thing. If you think only men are ever interested in illegal gambling, I have a funny story about my great-grandma to tell you.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 06:34 AM
1

Yes, doctors work indoors are write, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 06:30 AM
1

I don't know if we understood each other here, but I said that the right is typically holding those views that illegal immigration is bad and screws up the redistribution of resources in addition to ignoring social issues while the left embraces immigration and social issues. I was making the distinction between leftism and liberalism. I also was not talking about illegal immigration, but immigration altogether. Many Marxists are against legal immigration. It's every citizen's duty to make sure …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 06:30 AM
1

I've dated bi and bi-curious guys, and I have some tendencies in that direction myself. I think they're just people. You also seem to be confusing "being bisexual" with "having a bunch of sexual and relationship experience."
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 06:22 AM
1

Bernie Sanders is a democratic socialist/left-liberal, same as the DSA. I was thinking more like actual communists or even tankies.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 06:03 AM
1

It's typically the right that is holds these views. The left typically is against them in varying degrees. Excuse me? Those are literally tenets of Marxism. Like, the actual Marxist philosophy by Karl Marx (and Engels). Again, you're confusing liberalism with leftism. And the right most certainly doesn't favor a class struggle where you take rich people's businesses away and give them to the workers. Voting is a privilege, not a duty. We disagree.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 06:01 AM
1

Most women do not have random men regularly calling them hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 05:59 AM
1

Only if you pretend that there don't exist women who DO want an instant father figure, who these women are contrasting themselves with.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 05:58 AM
0

The second link is literally a different photo and age.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 05:57 AM
1

Like?..... Like that you can't allow immigrants into the country because it would screw up the Glorious Redistribution of Resources, or that social issues should be ignored because There Is Only Class Struggle At the End. Not really. It's possible to disagree with both sides. That might only be something reserved for the smarter people it seems. It is your civic duty to vote. You can, in theory, vote third party, but that's the equivalent of saying you will bow to the will of other people. You d…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 09:42 PM
6

I can't imagine a woman being fine with her boyfriend saying "You have great tits" or something. Lol, you really can't imagine a woman enjoying a compliment on her body from her boyfriend? Really? Wouldn't you prefer somebody who does not objectify you? Liking someone's body isn't objectifying them. Liking someone's body and thinking it's the only relevant thing about them, regardless of their feelings on the subject is objectifying them. If your partner likes you because you're clever and funny…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 09:38 PM
7

Again, the women answering the survey perceived muscular men to be more aggressive and worse boyfriends. I've seen a lot of doubt cast on that study, but again, sometimes experience overrides instinct. We also have instincts to be drawn to certain foods, but if we get food poisoning from eating them, that overrides it and we avoid that food. I assume these are young couples who are likely primarily focused on sex. No? They are late 20s/early 30s married or engaged couples mostly. One couple has …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 09:12 PM
1

Pretty much same thing. Lots of overlap. Lol no. Leftist views on things like immigration and gender issues can be....decidedly illiberal. Makes sense but still not very smart because being against one thing doesn't mean being for or aligning with the opposite. In a two-party system, it kinda does. So it mostly sounds like preferential bandwagon-ing phenomenon in that their views change on where they are. No? It's that political parties in different countries have different positions. The Conser…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 09:07 PM
1

Are you talking about actual leftist men, or liberal men? Liberal men come from liberal communities in liberal cities, same as liberal women. Most people get their political ideology from their parents, with only slight deviations. I also think there's a lot of...how do I put this?...reactionary liberalism from people who'd have been Republicans like 20 years ago. Like, maybe they aren't the biggest fans of high taxes, and they're pro free trade, but racism and sexism and homophobia and the whol…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 08:51 PM
7

It's nebulous. I'm using it to refer to more masculine, macho men who are aggressive and dangerous. Other than the tacked-on "dangerous", literally nothing there makes a person "bad." Aggression and being "macho" are not immoral. As for your other questions... Yes, because it's an outdated symbol, and by the time a woman is old enough to be answering surveys, she's got associations based on experience, not just instinct. Says who? Every girl I know who's into fitness stuff is happily partnered w…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 08:33 PM
14

How, exactly, are you defining a "bad boy"? (also, this idea that muscularity is a symbol of "badness" is absurd. It's, if anything, a symbol of provisioning ability)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 06:43 PM
1

Men here regularly complain that women receive compliments and praise from their friends, particularly online, and that they, the men, do not. They say this makes them sad, and that such praise would give them confidence. So, men should compliment and praise each other online.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 04:10 PM
23

I mean, the point of flirting is to be ambiguous. That said, for me the big one that separates "flirting for the lulz" in a way I do even with platonic friends, gay friends, etc., and actual interest is physical contact. I don't physically touch people I don't, well, want to touch.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 03:10 PM
2

I could see that. I also know my mom REALLY believes in Birth Order Theory, and stated pretty outright that it impacted how she treated us.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 03:08 PM
20

I'm not seeing any "bait and switch" here, particularly as you've posted two different women. It's pretty obvious they mean "I am not looking for someone to take a father role for my kid the minute we start dating. We'd have to have been pretty serious about each other for a while before I expect you to have a lot of involvement or responsibility towards my kid. However, yes, if the idea of being serious with a woman who has a child, and eventually maybe being a stepdad, is a problem for you, yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 03:04 PM
2

Could be! I'm an eldest as well as the girl in the family, so hard to say with mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 02:57 PM
4

LOL, it means publicly praise. But dudes should (consensually) fuck each other more if they want to!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 01:57 PM
10

What OP described can be boiled down to "I cannot admit to my flaws, because that might lead to there being consequences for them." The examples she gave of people "using their openness against them" were literally noticing someone has a problem with fucking up, and calling them out on it. It wasn't, like "I told my gf I was insecure about my weight, so she called me fat in arguments to belittle me," it was literally remembering and caring about a person's materially relevant flaws. This, to me,…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 12:47 PM
8

Tbh, I think men get away with a lot more as children than women do. I know it was that way for me and my brother. Then they're shocked to realize that they're held to an adult standard when they're adults. That their fuckups have a bigger impact than "oh, you always oversleep and I have to wake you up." And this freaks them out, a lot. I think it's prevalent among millenial and younger men in particular, because our demographic has a...strange hesitancy?... to admit we're adults at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 12:33 PM
1

So is your issue with OF models advertising on TikTOk that they're doing something explicitly sexual on there, where kids might see? Because that's a TikTok TOS argument. My argument was also resting on the fact that children cannot buy OF content, even if they wanted to, because they don't have credit cards.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 12:13 PM
2

I actually do favor the decriminalization of all drugs, although I am not pro-capitalist per se--I just thought it was a safe bet OP was. And I actually do think that drug addiction is more about genetic predisposition and environmental stressors than the existence of drugs. But your metaphor seems to favor the criminalization of pornography. Is that something you support?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 12:11 PM
1

Sex-positive people are not the majority. No, but I'm not in the majority. I'm just me. I would argue that many women don't want men to learn how to slay because they see it as being "used" by him and that he's getting what he wants at her expense. That only involves if this guy is getting a lot of lays by low-key scamming women. That's not the only, nor even most effective, way to get laid.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 10:40 AM
6

Would you personally give advice to a man on how to slay though? Sure. No, I would not give my brother advice on picking up chicks, that is a boundary violation and gross. I would say the same of a guy giving his sister advice on how to hook up with hotter guys. Some things are not appropriate between family. A shy quiet friend? Sure. He might not like my advice, but I'd be happy to give it. I don't actually think there's anything immoral about wanting to have a bunch of casual sex in and of its…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 10:26 AM
1

Doctors are white collar wtf?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 10:24 AM
26

He's best off, if what he wants is lots of sex with a wide variety of women he finds attractive, asking for advice on how to obtain that. Most men do not. They say things like "I am struggling to get a date," or "how do I meet girls?" And then they're SHOCKED, SHOCKED I TELL YOU, that they get "how to get a nice girlfriend" advice" and not "how to slay" advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 09:55 AM
1

Of course fashion design and writing novels are white collar! They're done indoors, sitting at a desk.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 09:53 AM
12

First off, not every woman is into posting selfies and shit all the time--just, apparently, the women you're attracted two. Second, this just means men need to make more friends and treat their friends better before they're as good a dating prospect as they can be--LIKE WE'VE BEEN TELLING YOU GUYS ALL ALONG. Men should dab each other up more. Problem solved.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 07:11 AM
1

Por que no las dos?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 07:08 AM
2

Gay and bi men are at least 5% of the population. And while the market of customers is smaller, so is the market of providers. I actually have male acquaintances who've done sex work, and it's not a difficult market to break into, even if you're not a "Chad." I think you're also operating under the idea that "sex work"=literally the exact same striptease-in-a-maid-outfit a conventionally attractive woman would do. It's not.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 07:08 AM
3

TikTok isn't a fucking Chuck E Cheese. Plenty of adults use it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 07:05 AM
2

But his argument wasn't about "excessive consumption"--it was about the nature of the providers, not the behavior of the consumers.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 07:05 AM
1

Really no white collar job is seen as being masculine or feminine. Oh now that's not true at all. Look at investment banking--very masculine-coded, women have a rough time of it. And look at something like fashion design, or writing romance novels--certainly feminine coded.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 07:04 AM
3

Who said anything about having sex? Stripping is sex work. Camming is sex work. And i'm not sure how giving a blowjob to someone who you find unattractive is so much tougher if it's against your orientation. And now you're shifting to markets. Which means the conversation is no longer "men vs women", as there are many women in dire economic straights who couldn't make much off of sex work. The hypothetical woman in questions age, weight, ethnicity, and disability status were never mentioned....
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 07:51 PM
2

This sounds like a personal thing. Certainly not all people everywhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 07:49 PM
5

You're not even describing cheating--you're describing dumping someone. Is it, in theory, possible that every relationship can end? Sure. If you're not ready for that, you're not ready. Interestingly, you can break up with someone because you care about them, a possibility this sub rarely considers.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 07:48 PM
3

No it isn't. A man in her identical economic position could also do sex work. With people, I am sure, he finds just as attractive as she finds the customers at her club.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 07:45 PM
2

First off, incels the toxic subculture claim that what they want/need/the solution to all their problems is sex. But you read a little closer and it becomes obvious that these are men suffering from pretty serious mental problems, usually social anxiety and often body dysmorphia as well. They speak of their inability to hold a job, complete their schoolwork, or even make friends. These are not problems sex can solve. But as for sex work being "predatory" -- if you want to go down that road and s…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 07:44 PM
2

I've said it before and I'll say it again: if you're not ready to be rejected, possibly even in an embarrassing way, you're not ready to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 11:37 AM
1

Women are more often accountants by trade than men. We don't say accounting is an "unmasculine" profession.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 11:34 AM
1

Because choosing which behaviors, how "commonly" they're found, and in which men requires judgement calls. All men eat food and breathe air, but we don't say "eating food and breathing air are masculine." Relatively few men do woodworking and yardwork, but in America at least, doing woodworking and yardwork are considered masculine.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 09:59 AM
1

The "quality or nature" is an idea though. There's no monolithic way "men act" because there are like a billion and a half men in the world. Someone has to decide which commonalities are relevant.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 09:38 AM
2

It doesn't. It means "behaving (or appearing) in a way that is considered manly." It is not even exclusive to men--butch women can be hella masculine, and they're not men. What is and is not considered "manyl" varies a lot throughout history and across cultures.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 09:01 AM
5

The comments are mostly about how a little stomach pudge is cute tho?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 08:28 PM
1

Everytime beauty standards are talked about it's always " men this" "men are that". Show me this happening. ETA, I suspect you're talking about references to beauty standards as a concept being "patriarchal." "Patriarchy" isn't a synonym for "men." The patriarchal part is more the idea that women have to be pretty at all. That beauty is the highest feminine virtue. A man who isn't beautiful to look at can still be heroic or powerful, but a woman who is ugly as a figure of power or heroism is....…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 08:24 PM
3

Who said anything about makeup? "Beauty standards" are very little to do with makeup. Clothing is a huge one, arguably as big as the other big one, which is body size and shape.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 07:41 PM
1

A. Show me where "men" are. B. Most of the corporate powers-that-be who decide these things are, indeed, men. Their not being motivated by their own dicks doesn't erase that. C. I didn't say it had nothing to do with impressing men. I said it was about other women and professional contexts. Again, your male boss is not necessarily motivated by his dick when he hires people "in keeping with our company's image."
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 07:40 PM
13

You work in the service industry, of all places, and you think your coworkers are unhappy because of equality?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 05:24 PM
7

Lol, it's not though. It's established by the fashion industry to sell clothes and makeup. Remember when high-waisted shorts were super popular? And guys were complaining they were ugly? Or dark plum colors for lipstick?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 04:09 PM
–

Sounds like you were chatting to this girl, from her perspective you blew her off and were more interested in playing pool than talking to her, so she cut her losses. Don't overthink this stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 03:51 PM
16

No, they're not. Look at any all-female environment that doesn't have a religious mandate against vanity (so think all-girls' schools, "ladies night" at any given venue, hen weekends). The standards are still there, still enforced. It's not about you guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 03:23 PM
1

Yep! It's also...idk...weirdly insulting to your partner to be obsessed with the idea that they're not actually into you?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 01:53 PM
26

Beauty standards aren't really about sex or dating though. Men on this sub are weirdly in denial about this. It's an arms race to impress other women, and a professional advantage thing. Most partners aren't sorted by looks exactly, anyway--they're sorted by social class/circle. What most people call "looksmatch" isn't really about looks in the "raw stock" way it's used here.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 01:20 PM
1

I mean, if you believe that women roughly as hot as you have probably had exes that were hotter than you, it stands to reason that women less hot than you wouldn't have--by the classic TRP reasoning, you would be her best.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 01:18 PM
1

Actually, through that logic, it would make most sense to "marry down." The fact that this is never advised or even discussed suggests that on some level, these men don't really believe at least some of what they claim.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 12:43 PM
1

And all the rich people I know (including the kind of rich people who have conspiracy theories about them), married roughly same-age. Anecdote v data strikes again.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 10:29 AM
1

28 and 41 is an age gap, for sure, but doesn't sound shady to me. You're both adults who've been married before, ffs.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 10:28 AM
45

Are those women perhaps.....not older than 24? Also, LOL that you think by "rich men" anyone is talking about fucking billionaires. The vast majority of women looking to marry "rich men" just mean normal-rich, white collar professionals who can afford prep school for the kids and a summer house by the lake.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 08:07 AM
56

......There are like 2 examples of anything close to an actual age gap on here. Once everyone is older than like 24, a gap of less than 10 years is not an "age gap," it's same-cohort.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 07:40 AM
2

Yeah....being in a cult makes you lose all credibility instantly..... you're basically a scientologist. Scientology is a joke. Dude, I'm not literally in a cult, lol. So you're the problem. ?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 06:29 PM
2

So your family is a bunch of judgy weirdos who's weirdly obsessed with the idea of over education as result of both of them being professors and planting some kind of high expectations complexity into you you believe you're a special snowflake. Excuse me? My parents aren't professors, and my difficulties with my family have nothing to do with their professional expectations of me, which have always been pretty realistic. A few of my family members have a lot of their own struggles, which lead th…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 05:51 PM
2

How so? I'm in the final year of my doctorate, and I've cultivated my professional network, which is really niche and specific to my field, over years. My friends are mostly overeducated weirdos like me, and we all fit into a really specific niche. As for my family they're...complicated, and it's taken me a long, long time to get to a place where I can kind of deal with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 04:56 PM
3

I have things to gain, but tbh, more to lose--my chosen universe is highly, highly specialized, and there's so much backstory to it that someone looking in from the outside wouldn't know how to give advice. I am not a "move fast and break things" person, and do not live in that sort of world.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 03:39 PM
3

Speaking for my own self--I have a lot to lose.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 03:32 PM
13

Yes, it is really that hard. IME, more frequently the answer is yes, but a person with low self-esteem will have a hard time with this. You know--has a bit of a crush, wants to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 02:24 PM
–

Women who....aren't trad? Who have degrees/good jobs, want a 50/50 arrangement for housework and finances, want like 1 or 2 kids instead of 5? Or, heck, even women with a more "dominant" personality, who are looking to "take the lead" in a relationship. I think a lot of men are lying to themselves about how much they'd enjoy being the "submissive" partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 02:00 PM
7

That's not about dating though. It's about being afraid their guy friends will judge them. When there's no women around, you can't claim you're not doing a thing because women won't like it. It's also cultural--North African men frequently hold hands with their friends, embrace and do cheek kisses when they meet, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 08:50 AM
4

Disagree. Unless these guys think the...concept of having or making friends is effete? But, to put it simply, the guys I know who do best with women are also the ones who have a lot of friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 08:48 AM
5

I could ask the same of you. Would you be willing to "just let go" of "a good portion of your free will" to your girlfriend if she promised doing so would help you at work, school, and socially? If not, you have your answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 08:18 AM
1

Those are all about raw numbers, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 08:16 AM
20

You haven't actually defined social or sexual success here. I hold that raw numbers are meaningless in social and dating contexts; literally anyone can rack up raw numbers of "friends" or "conquests." What matters is quality. I'm much more impressed with the man or woman with a few friends who love them and who have their lives together than the one with 100 shiftless morons who are willing to come round to get drunk if you ask but don't much care about them one way or another. I'm much more imp…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/21 09:14 PM
3

I live in a major city too, but I believe single men actually outnumber single women here very slightly. I'm also in Europe, not the states, so there may be some cultural differences.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/21 08:33 PM
8

"Going out" doesn't mean going to a club. Most women I know would say they "go out" at least once a week. They go to restaurants or pubs, not to a club. Maybe a cocktail bar. At most pubs I frequent, women wear minimal makeup if any--they are casual places and a "full face" would look silly and out of place. At a nicer restaurant or a cocktail bar, the women I see wear about the same as you see on women in offices. As for casinos, have you ever been to one?! They're....gross, and mostly full of …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/21 08:20 PM
2

Anecdotally, quite rare. Most men I'm close with are fairly open about preferring long sexual dry spells over relationships they're not that into.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/21 07:58 PM
11

I think that's more about your circle than anything. I know very few women who go to the club at all, and pretty much every woman I know wears makeup to work--in an office, or a shop or a restaurant or at a school.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/21 07:57 PM
14

Half the time, makeup is to attract less attention you know. It's about fitting in and looking professional--without it, you'd stand out.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/21 04:52 PM
3

No, but degrees are often awarded at the end of the courses that impart highly specialized knowledge. Again, the degree is not the point.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/21 04:52 PM
40

Tbh, I think it's ego preservation all the way around. It's a lot easier to say "men only want sex" when a guy dumps you than to admit he just wasn't that into you. It's a lot easier to say "women just want attention" when a girl leaves you on read than to admit she's just not interested in you. Sweeping generalizations are easier to swallow than the idea that it's personal.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/21 04:28 PM
7

The knowledge is the end goal. People who get degrees/study as a hobby aren't doing it for the qualifications. They're doing it to learn, because learning and knowing things is a pleasure to them. People who run marathons as a hobby aren't doing it for the completion medals either.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/21 04:22 PM
16

Right? I'm literally an academic; work and study combined! It's the only environment that's ever felt like home to me. I get bored very easily; when I had a temp job that required very little work (receptionist for a big company), I got so bored I started teaching myself Danish. Plenty of people actually like mental stimulation, earning money, and having a wider world. It's not weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/21 01:50 PM
13

Marriage wasn't "guaranteed" before feminism, lol. It was borderline necessary for survival if you weren't born well-off, but it was certainly not guaranteed. Yes, that means what it implies. And that also goes for "not risking getting dumped at any time." Women were dumped by their fiances, or left by their husbands, all the time. The consequences were dire. As for working and getting educated....maybe it's your aspiration to loll around, ignorant and without income, all your life, while poppin…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/21 01:04 PM
2

That's hella selection bias tho. You choose both your uni and your friends, neither is a random sample.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/21 06:33 AM
2

This wasn't about anyone being single or "sexless", though, which is a separate question. It also was about an age range 15 years longer than the one you gave.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/21 06:31 AM
0

Okay? So? If you're not ready to run the risk of someone saying "it's awkward to hang out with you" or "go away," you aren't mature enough for dating yet. Also, you might learn that...not all women are nice or polite. A woman who is rude to you for asking her on a date once at a bar may just be...a rude woman, and not worth your time. That said, you missed one: going to specific dating/singles events. People are literally there to be asked out, so it is expected you ask them out.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 04:29 PM
30

It's way, way overstated--particularly by antisocial people who don't want to admit their personal difficulties are, well, personal. Also, most people outside the pillosphere don't think that having a relationship that doesn't end in marriage and kids is some great failure, or means you weren't really happy or didn't really love each other--most people understand that shit happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 02:48 PM
–

Marriage in the middle ages was mostly arraigned and women were married off usually between 17-25. That's not true at all. Marriages among the nobility were mostly arranged; marriages among regular people were not. Peasants just married other peasants they liked well enough. And finances had nothing to do with it--medieval European commoners weren't into dowries or anything like that. People held off mostly because childbirth was really dangerous, and they knew that having a kid too young would …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 02:45 PM
2

I think it's just your experience, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 02:42 PM
–

Because it's the one my housemate and I both hate most? But that needs to get done?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 02:41 PM
1

So men have no agency, then? These broke guys are roving the streets, proposing to women, and none will have them? You have seen this? Or do many men want to be breadwinners? Or has "marriage" become a bit more synonymous with "weddings" than it should, including to men? Working class and poor women do financially support the men in their lives; households where the woman is the only earner are increasingly common in poor rural areas. Do these couples not count? They are often living together bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 01:01 PM
–

Yup--people forget what disease was like before antibiotics. The Spanish Influenza killed something like 50 million people.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 10:40 AM
–

I think it's because there's less social pressure to get married, and premarital sex and ethical non-monogamy are more normalized. When monogamous marriage is truly a choice, there's more expectation that you mean it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 10:39 AM
4

Or....being overweight or a slob means you should date a slob woman, and be set up with one, not that literally no one should date you ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 07:29 AM
5

HEY YOU AND X WOULD BE A PERFECT COUPLE! That's....more of a thing in CW shows than real life. Real life it's "You and X would really hit it off--here's his picture. Isn't he cute? Do you want me to invite him to happy hour so you can meet?"
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 07:20 AM
6

I'm not friends with anyone I consider a "messy slob."
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 07:19 AM
2

Anything short of lifetime is a scam is my point. I don't think you know what a "scam" is if you think it's when you enter a contract knowing its terms and the potential for it to be dissolved, and make no pretenses otherwise. I know couples who put "as long as we both shall love" in their vows, specifically because they had agreed that certain circumstances would cause them to divorce, and they were okay with this. You seem to have a very Catholic idea of what marriage means, and don't understa…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 12:23 AM
–

Yup! Plausible deniability.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 12:16 AM
–

Who was talking about harems and mistresses? You don't need to have an Official Royal Mistress like the Georgians did to have an illegitimate kid--you just need to have had an ill-timed encounter with a cute servant. While a king who was a noted horndog might be subject to some ecclesiastical criticism (unless, of course, he demonstrated sufficient "piety" through financial donations), a few "slips" were the sorts of things you took to a confessor and thought no more of.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 11:43 PM
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Yes, the Duchy of lorraine functioned as a nation--where as something like the estate of a minor lord would just pass to the next closest descendant, at least once these places got around to codifying their laws (which admittedly would be post-Magna Carta in England, later on the Continent).
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 11:03 PM
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LOL, Richard the Lionheart had illegitimate children! Heck, Henry VIII, who oversaw the English reformation, not only had an illegitimate son, but, when he was married to Katharine of Aragon and England was Catholic, so did his priest! Something like three different popes died during sexual encounters! The past was much less pious than people today think it was.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 11:01 PM
50

Frankly, I think men should try and set their friends up. It would probably be a good boost for a lot of lonely dudes out there. But like....we like our friends, right? So of course we think they're sweet and lovable--because we love them! And for all you guys talk about the halo effect, there's also a reverse--when you care for someone, they look better in your eyes than maybe they objectively do. I think men are just stifled by a culture of masculinity that says loving your friends is "gay" an…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 10:52 PM
3

Did...did you just refer to Judaism and Islam as "scams" for "sexual novelty"? There's....there's so much wrong with this that I don't even know where to start.....
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 10:48 PM
3

I mean....there are literally millenia-old religions that don't have a heavy divorce taboo. Judaism and Islam both have elaborate provisions for divorce, and it's not considered sinful to divorce a spouse.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 10:45 PM
3

When you make goes FOR LIFE they should at least get 5 years to recover right lmfao Who said they didn't? Again, this has been something that I've witnessed firsthand, that had significant impact on my own life. And while this sub does not like to admit it, sometimes people are given a full decade and a variety of support options to get their shit sorted, and they...don't. (also, not everyone does traditional Anglo vows, or comes from a tradition with a heavy divorce taboo)
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 10:42 PM
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Or....not. You seem to assume everyone in a bad spot gets better. That's sadly not true.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 10:38 PM
–

Do you know what a depressive or self-destructive spiral entails? Hint: it often involves digging oneself deeper into what had originally been a shallow hole.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 10:36 PM
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By that logic, these men would rather live in squalor than be seen to "give in" to "nagging"? Chores aren't some abstract power play--if no one takes out the trash, the kitchen smells.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 10:35 PM
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duchess dying childless caused much upheaval, because it left superpowers to dispute the claim to the throne. You are referring to Duchies. In those places, obviously the role of Duchess was closer to...well...that of a Queen. I was referring to "female nobles who did not hold the highest title their nation had to offer, merely a part of the nobility." even non-royals say renaissance era families in largely republican Italy like the medicis married early Those marriages were typically not consum…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 10:34 PM
–

Again, do you think that these French kings only had children inside of their marriages?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 10:31 PM
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It was the high child mortality rate. Generally if you made it through puberty, life expectancy went into the 60s. (also, regarding the childbirth into the 40s/50s...it was very dangerous, and many women died. The risk of death in childbirth was frequently compared to men going to war. Many historical spinsters were afraid of marriage and pregnancy--it's not entirely coincidental that women who were youngest children often went unmarried)
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 10:31 PM
–

The childbirth stuff mostly comes from old parish records--I'm a historian, so I read a lot of this as background! For a layperson, I don't know what sources you'd find accessible, but if you're interested in the history of marriage and childbirth, I'd start with history of midwifery! For sexual politics more generally, it's harder to say, but a LOT of popular history of the Victorian Era touches on the culture around marriage and prostitution.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 10:29 PM
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It's literally been studied--even the Boomers had a less negative view of adultery than millenials. I recently read "House of Mirth" which was published in 1905; a major plot point revolves around marriage being viewed as a gateway to sexual freedom for women, since adultery was more respectable than premarital sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 10:24 PM
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According to that Cornell university study, men aren't earning enough and they reckon this might be why marriage rates are declining. The ideal man must earn 60% higher than the average salary to be seen as marriage material by women. I've spoken at length about my issues with that study before. The researchers cooked up the "economic attractiveness" thing based on a study about making up fake husbands who lacked many, many of the relevant traits of real husbands, and then extrapolating wildly. …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 10:23 PM
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Job loss doesn't permanent destroy someone's identity lol You've never seen a person enter a depressive or self-destructive spiral after losing a job they'd put a lot into? I have. It's average today. Being so fat as to eat oneself into an early grave is also "average" today. Doesn't mean it's optimal. It's not so far from the historical norms, once you factor out that weird early marriage blip in the nineteenth century. People in the Middle Ages (outside the nobility) married mid-to-late 20s, s…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 07:51 PM
–

Louis XIV had about 18 children, his son Louis XV had about 25 Do you think those were with one or even two women? Moreover, do you think these kings raised those children? As for queens, poor example, since they had a very different attitude to childbirth (and marriage) even than noble women. A Duchess who has many children she can marry into important places helps enrich her family; a Queen who does the same can create an empire. A Duchess who remains childless might cause a nasty inheritance …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 07:47 PM
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Then why do so many men get so flinchy about doing it? Even ones whose wives earn more or equal to them?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 07:44 PM
–

Premarital chastity was more common (if far from universal). Adultery was actually more common and, at least at the upper and lower extremes of the social ladder, normalized.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 07:43 PM
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Even the simple fact that a woman in that station in life made this observation is of note as far as I'm concerned. What station? Academic clickbait? Why is this noteworthy? (I'd also argue that the results come less from "women's expectations" and more that many men get a sense of identity, accomplishment, and purpose from their jobs. We as a society have really failed to provide other models. And marriages where one partner lacks a sense of identity and purpose are frequently bad) I'd say is b…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 07:41 PM
–

The study you posted doesn't say what it pretends to. "Having full-time employment" isn't the same as being a breadwinner. And you say kids at 30 like there's something wrong with that? Average age of marriage in my city is 32.....
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 07:07 PM
3

Changing environments here is like banning dating apps (or at least making them really really difficult to use), not just not using them personally. This effect is from women's dating pools getting larger, not what the men themselves do and the availability of dating apps already magnifies the size of that for women as a group. But most women hate dating apps! The simple majority never even use them! That's why the gender ratios are so skewed. There aren't 3x more men than women in the world; ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 05:17 PM
2

So.....change environments? Yes, dating apps are a bad environment for men, because the male/female ratios are lopsided; so stop using them.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 03:59 PM
1

You're this close to seeing it. Attractiveness isn't just doled out randomly or by "genetics" or magic. The qualities that are useful for becoming cool are also useful for looking good.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 03:53 PM
0

We know this is true because women aren't attracted to fat man because they have less testosterone so they can actually focus on what they're attracted to. I mean....female chubby chasers are a thing? A friend of mine is one. But also....."having testosterone" isn't this weird blanket over all attraction you seem to think? Gay men and straight men both have plenty of testosterone, but they're attracted to very different people.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 03:51 PM
1

What, exactly, do you consider "empathizing"? And...not to be rude...but how do you consider you communication skills? And how do you know these women?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 11:44 AM
1

Just keep in mind guys don't give a shit about your job generally when it comes to dating prospects like women often will. This is either the typical mind fallacy, something that varies wildly depending on community/social circle, or just...a lie. I see it a lot on this sub, but literally every guy I've ever dated has made it clear that my education and my career were important to them. Not that they were literally getting boners from it, but it was a major part of why an actual relationship wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 11:35 AM
6

You've never found yourself desiring someone even if you wouldn't objectively describe them as good-looking?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 11:01 AM
3

You're only 27. That's not Miss Havisham age, c'mon. That said, drunk sex with a near-stranger is never gonna be that great. I'm sorry, it's not. It sounds like you maybe don't have that much experience of dating, and have mostly gone straight into relationships with people you already knew pretty well? I'd recommend you go on at least a couple dates with a guy and see how you vibe first--IME, if the making out, etc., are good, and you have a strong anticipation to see them again, you know the s…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 08:34 AM
13

"Sexually attractive" =/ "physically attractive." I have been very, very, very attracted to people who I would never have "swiped right" on or described as "handsome/pretty/good looking." This has been because they were charismatic and charming, or we just vibed really well. They turned me on like crazy, but that didn't mean I'd describe them as "hot" in any objective sense. I have no issue at all with someone who feels that way about me--I'm not their "type" but I "just do it for them." If I do…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 08:14 AM
3

It's not just older man/younger woman, and as long as everyone is legal adults, it's nothing to do with sex. It's everything else. Any 18-year-old dating a 40-year-old is troubling to me. I do not care if they have sex; I am not bothered if an undergrad goes home with an older guy or gal from the bar. I am bothered if they have a relationship. Your hypothetical 18-and-40 non-consummated marriage is infinitely more troubling to me than the same couple as casual FWBs. It's because a 18-year-old's …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/21 08:46 PM
7

I think you're probably, if not overstating how many guys want to do threesomes, understating how common other kinks are. Honestly, a lot of "pill" talk wildly underestimates how common sexually submissive men are. And talk about having trouble getting the opportunity! That said, I think your bar is a stupid one, because "can do X sex thing if they wanted to" is a stupid bar in general. Anyone can do "X sex thing" if they're willing to pay professionals or fuck people who aren't attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/21 06:04 PM
1

Aggression: yes, but controlled. Usually between willing participants. If there's an aggressor and a victim who doesn't fight back, the aggressor would have to stop quickly or be shamed. For example, video games can be very "toxic" but bashing noobs is almost never praised. Oh dear. That's....not what prisons, or all-boys' boarding schools are like. Status jockeying and hierarchical structures: afaik, much less than in mixed communities. Nope. Again, look at boarding schools. Look at prisons. Lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/21 04:08 PM
2

Then why are all-male communities also full of aggression, status jockeying, hierarchical structures, etc? The Catholic Church is famous for intrigues, and it's not only all male, but at least claims to be a voluntarily celibate body.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/21 09:18 PM
–

Okay, you've got a baby face. And, as I've stated before--people don't have their ages tattooed on their foreheads. If you look like an 18-year-old, late 20s women, even those who find you attractive, will likely think 'that's a nice-lloking guy, pity he's an undergrad and it would be creepy to go on a date with him.' You may have to go with non-strangers if you want to date a woman close to your age.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/21 02:55 PM
1

I think that drawing the line between "genetics" and "prosocial behavior" is a flawed premise to begin with. Heck, I think calling "looks" "genetic" is inaccurate almost to the point of comedy. Even "race" isn't precisely genetic--race is a social construct, as are the associations race carries. We don't actually know where the lines in human behavior are drawn between the "genetic" and the socialized. We can't know, because the experiments that would give you the data are completely unethical. …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/21 02:34 PM
1

You'd have to ask "the rich." Which I am not. It's admittedly an easy mistake to make, but I'm actually quite broke--I'm a social climber, but I saw the shit in the service industry while working crappy service jobs myself. I'm absolutely in favor of any program that makes it easier to quit a job where you're being harassed (and, frankly, high enough wages to tempt people to apply who will take the job seriously and be afraid of harassing their coworkers, lest they quit).
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/21 02:27 PM
1

I'm pretty sure you're the one calling hassling a person until they quit their job (something I've seen in the service industry), "standard prole boorishness"-- if anyone is showing class prejudice.....
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/21 11:30 AM
1

You think working class women enjoy being harassed? You think they don't try and do something about it?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/21 11:28 AM
0

Hitting someone's ass at work isn't something you need college to tell you not to do. Blue collar people are not so ignorant. Besides, the internet brings ideas everywhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/21 02:21 AM
–

So clearly it IS a big deal to do chores. A very big deal.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/21 02:19 AM
1

Yes it is. I live in a national capital. I know people in that subculture, but it is a subculture.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/21 02:18 AM
–

Not good-- surely much better to just do some chores?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/21 01:04 AM
1

You're part of a small subculture that I don't belong to-- casual sex is a subculture.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/21 01:03 AM
1

I am in my 20s. It's pretty rare. Casual stuff, when it happens, is usually not on dates anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/21 12:11 AM
0

I suspect you've not seen how sexist blue-collar professional environments are if you think feminism is about "applying the apex fallacy to men."
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 10:26 PM
1

Oh, you might think i am--it's just a shocking number of people think that things like exploring paleolithic gravesites in rural Ireland, or crashing social events for aristocrats, or going mead-tasting, or whatever, are boring. And I think going to football games is boring. So.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 10:25 PM
–

Guys who complain about "muh equal dishes": If it really is such a stupid, meaningless, minor thing to complain about....why not just do the equal dishes? Since it's apparently such a nothingburger?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 10:23 PM
1

I know full well that my idea of fun is very boring for many people--and their idea of fun is very boring for me. More things in heaven and earth, Horatio.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 10:22 PM
1

What are "your experiences" if not "brutally specific anecdata" from your life? I can't bring in the data that supports my argument because no one here believes self-reported partner counts. Be the adventure, not the muh equal dishes. That's where the real fun is at. shrug. Not everyone is adventurous. Not everyone is "fun". Not everyone defines a good time the same way. Learn that, and know yourself, or be corny and forced.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 10:20 PM
1

See my other comment. The "hooking up" is overstated.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 10:19 PM
1

having done it even once is still relevant Is it, though? I have to say, from everything I've seen and heard from men and women, being the guy who teaches a woman she doesn't like ONS is not fun for the guy (like, "she stops him mid-act and starts freaking out" levels of not fun).
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 10:10 PM
1

Then guess what subculture you're part of?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 10:05 PM
2

Anecdotally, the vast majority don't. That's the real 80/20--20 percent of men "and women* have 80 percent of all casual sex had. Casual sex is, itself, a subculture.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 10:01 PM
4

Most women are nowhere near hot enough or social enough for all this. You're doing the apex fallacy thing, or being very literal about women being able to "find a man" in a way this sub would never dream of talking about men being able to "find a woman."
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 10:00 PM
0

Going on dates with a bunch of guys and likely not fucking them, particularly a bunch of first dates with near-strangers, is exactly how people in large cities tend to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 09:57 PM
0

Those men aren't average. Most average men have multiple relationships and can tell the good from the bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 09:55 PM
1

I love how you people absolutely flip at that quote, and assume that "date" (while "looknig for a life partner"!) means having sex, presumably uninhibited, causal, kinky-but-not-in-a-scary-way sex. A little secret: an astonishing number of "just trying out a date with this guy because he's kind of cool, but not someone I see a future with" dates are....just dates. Drinks, dinner, going to a music gig, whatever. Maybe some kissing. It's like trying on a coat to see if you like the fit of it--and …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 09:54 PM
2

I find this odd because when the man dating this woman asks to have “just sex” with other women it automatically becomes a problem. Does it? Literally the majority of women I know who speak this way are not gung-ho on monogamy and would honestly be open to their boyfriend having casual partners on the side, provided it worked both ways. For all this sub is skittish about it, non-mongamous people.... exist. You want a girlfriend and also to fuck around? Go be open or poly. It's not immoral. No on…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 08:53 PM
1

Fair enough. Anyway, I would like a definition of "sexually successful." Does it mean "getting laid at all"? Current me would be fine. Does it mean "banging hot club chicks regularly"? Absolutely not--I cannot relate to club chicks now, so guy!me wouldn't either. My guy self would have my personality, right? So he'd be going to a lot of majority-female events, like art gallery receptions and author lectures and stuff. And he'd be unafraid of talking to people there and swapping info. And he'd dr…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 02:32 PM
1

You have me working with my current personality, but except my strategy to be sliding into DMs? Pick one.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 11:05 PM
5

You're absolutely right. It's bizarre how often this sub forgets that drugs and excessive drinking even exist, let alone have an effect on people. And thank you for being realistic about it--someone who has a beer or two catching up with old friends is very different from a binge drinker, someone who's smoked a joint or two is a long way from a cocaine user, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 02:12 PM
0

Well, what does he want? Based on some things a friend is going through right now in particular, this is an important question--does this man want to be married and have one or two kids? He might not. He doesn't have to do it. Btw, this man is not average. He is a white collar worker, which already puts him at slightly-above-average social class wise. Assuming he wants to get married and have children, sure he can realistically think that'll happen-- if he puts some effort into meeting people be…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 01:51 PM
1

This is a lie. Why are you lying? ETA, so as not to invalidate--that may be true for you but for men as a whole it is utter hogwash.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/21 12:43 AM
1

Is it probable that there are enough available successful men who are ALSO generally physically attractive and fit, as well as a bunch of other obscure “requirements”(standards) to go around for all career women? No Why not? Are you saying that men have a more difficult time than women staying in shape and holding down a good job? That sounds rather misandrist to me. Admittedly, some men may not be interested in women, but some women are not interested in men, so surely that evens out? Is it del…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/21 12:42 AM
8

Well damn, I can understand why simulated child molesting would freak people out! Doesn't mean we all hate if some guy wants to fuck a big-tittied roomba.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/21 10:31 PM
1

LOL!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/21 10:30 PM
1

Was there a point to this as relates to my comment?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/21 10:30 PM
5

What makes you think they don't want?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/21 05:32 PM
9

I never even understood why they were supposed to be controversial! Slightly icky, maybe (I imagine they'd be hard to clean, and animatronics can look a bit Uncanny Valley), but I can't see any moral issue with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/21 05:31 PM
9

Then those men....won't want any sexbots? So sexbots are largely irrelevant to them?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/21 05:30 PM
6

I think men who date overweight women are physically attracted to them. Chubby chasers are real, and some men care more about something like a cute smile than body at all. And from what I've seen, the men who date "single moms" have kids themselves. Like goes with like.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/21 05:29 PM
25

You're probably very different from the men I'm interested in.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/21 05:26 PM
62

Tried it for a laugh--I had an above-average income requirement, but got listed as "down to Earth," presumably because I don't care about height? That said, surely they should factor in what the woman in question is like. Presumably there's nothing "delusional" about a woman in good shape with a solid job wanting something similar in a man. Also, listing "income" is the wrong metric. If you want a noisy proxy for class, it should be education.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/21 03:23 PM
1

That's actually fair. Being generous to someone you care about is different from being generous to a stranger. That's part of why, when I was going on first dates, I'd always suggest a place I could afford (not like McDonald's, but think "chill local pub" as opposed to "cocktail bar in the fanciest part of the city"). It's rude to presume on someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/21 02:51 PM
1

May I ask how so?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/21 02:31 PM
2

Grad student life is interesting--I get flown to difference cities to give lectures and stay in good hotels, but need to stretch my grocery budget until you can see through it. One more year, and then I'll be making a very nice income from everything I've already laid groundwork for.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/21 02:30 PM
3

Oh, I know my preferences are idiosyncratic (just look at my dating history! lol), but that still means your argument that escorting is the "logical conclusion of any possible argument" is false, or at least not universally true.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/21 02:28 PM
1

How do you know she could have afforded it? I have always offered to split/ trade off who treats--but also made it clear that would mean going to places/doing activities within my budget. As I am a full-time student with only a part-time job, my budget is modest. The men I have been out with, including my boyfriend, have quite often preferred to simply treat me and go to more elaborate places.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/21 02:26 PM
2

When you have guests in your home, do you demand after the fact that you're compensated for hosting?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/21 02:23 PM
5

You're assuming the part about age gap relationships that's icky and bothersome is the sex. It's not.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 08:57 PM
2

Um. It's not always "the younger woman." Again, I think people here forget wheat arranged marriages/political marriages/ marriage in the past more generally was like.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 08:56 PM
2

I do think far too many young children (under 10) are coming across porn. I don't think it's good or healthy for them. That said, I do not think this is the porn's fault. I think it's the fault of parents who don't parent their fucking kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 08:22 PM
3

So you are saying that it would not be particularly bothersome if a 37-year old man dated a 30-year old woman who looked like a 21-year old woman because they actually are closer to the same points of their life? YES! Literally yes! What about in a traditional culture where women routinely get married in their early 20s? Couldn't one make an argument that the 37-year old man and the 21-year old woman are basically at the same literal points in their life? No. In such cultures, men get married in…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 08:01 PM
3

Most people were aware of Jennifer Lawrence's actual age when that movie was released, though. If true--so? Most people were aware that Meryl Streep was not actually Danish when she made "Out of Africa"--she was a character in a film. And your argument lends credence to the argument that, if a woman acts older or if a man acts younger, it would then make an age gap relationship acceptable. Not seeing it--it wasn't a question of how anyone "acted" but of literal points in one's life.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 06:10 PM
9

I...couldn't? People's ages are not tattooed across their foreheads. And the fact that Jennifer Lawrence's character was the widow of a police officer and had a sister who was obviously in her late 30s made me think she was at least late 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 04:06 PM
2

Have you considered dating guys a few years younger? Not like undergrads, but like 3-4 years younger.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 03:49 PM
9

....Those were the actors' ages. They were playing characters. The characters were not stated to have a 16-year-age gap, and nothing in the movie implied they did. They were portrayed as being the same age, roughly.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 03:47 PM
3

My parents taught me about old men when I was a teen and learned myself by 11/12 when old men came after me. Yup. There are guys out there who will come after a literal child, and then people here wonder why women can be creeped out by age gaps.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 02:01 PM
7

Its "creepy" to you because you don't want men your age to have options. I am in my 20s. And I would find it creepy whatever the combination of genders. But then, you're talking about "degenerate behavior," so you're one of those.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 12:23 PM
–

SMV is the ability to attract/have sex with and KEEP the opposite sex. Nope. That's SMV + RMV Any woman, LITERALLY ANY woman can go out right now and find a man to have sex with them. Then literally any woman has cleared that bar for "SMV." Then the quality of the men she can have sex with becomes relevant (and no, ugly gross women cannot go up to literally any guy, offer to have sex with them, and say yes. Men who claim otherwise are merely big talkers). If you're realizing this means women as …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 02:01 AM
3

Was he known to be a Lothario or smth? Yes. Very much so.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 01:51 AM
13

Can we be honest about what we're actually referring to when we talk about "age gap relationships"? Is it more than 5 years? More than 10? And most importantly, surely the age of both people, in raw numbers, is relevant? Maybe even the most relevant factor? I think a 35-year-old dating a 20-year-old is creepy as fuck. A 35-year-old dating a 50-year-old is unusual, but not ringing any great alarm bells. They're the same "age gap."
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 01:42 AM
-3

Goodness this is absurd. You guys talk like women are fungible, then wonder why you're accused of misogyny. Plenty of guys with "multiple options" chase a particular woman--because they don't want those other women so much as they want her.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/21 11:58 AM
1

Friends of mine do it. It's not a cakewalk, but it's not unfeasible.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/21 11:57 AM
1

.....you really think, in 2021, no one can work from home at least some of the time? And don't forget, some people actually are high earners.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/21 03:49 AM
3

Oh yuck :((((
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/21 02:02 AM
8

Believe me, there is security there. Foreign people do it differently. I don't think you understand what she meant. She wasn't talking about having a falling out--she was referring to mortality. The :( was about something really sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/21 12:57 AM
1

Nope. I'm a Royal Blue.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/21 12:24 AM
1

Why, thank you :)
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/21 12:23 AM
16

Why is it a "lol" for a man to want his wife to keep working? Children are plenty of dependents for the average family; adding adults into the mix is a lot. I'm an ambitious woman and I don't ever want to go Full SAHM--in part because I don't think my not working is compatible with my being the best parent and partner I could be. A man who appreciates this in me is a green flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/21 12:23 AM
1

Are....you asking if I have guy friends? Yes, I have guy friends. I also have a boyfriend, male colleagues, guys I meet at random events (art galleries, happy hours, etc.). I live in a big city and I like talking to people, so I know a lot of people.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/21 12:19 AM
2

They hope you'll pull down your pants and give them the full moon, they don't hope you're going to be "vaguely threatened" whatever tf that means My experience of the world has taught me that men as a whole aren't quite so stupid as to think that shouting about someone's ass from a moving vehicle in broad daylight in a public place will cause them to show you the ass in question. I know men in general are very fond of porn, but they're not so delusional about how it relates to reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/21 09:32 PM
3

Are you being deliberately obtuse? Being crude is gross and vaguely threatening. Shouting about people's bodily parts from inside a car is triply so. This isn't hard. Look, there are a lot of things women joke about in private about certain sweatpants, but I guarantee you, if some group of women shouted "check out that cock!" from their moving car at a guy walking down a crowded street, he would be bewildered and unsettled at best. (also, "nice ass" is shouted at, like, women bundled up in snow …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/21 09:15 PM
7

There's a vast difference between genuine attempts to get a date and catcalling with the intent to humiliate, intimidate or objectify someone. This. "I noticed you're wearing a BU shirt--half my family went there!" in an attempt to start a conversation and ask someone on a date is about 1000 miles away from "Nice ass! Do you want this D?" shouted from a car window.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/21 09:01 PM
5

.......okay? Yes, you can't please all the people all the time. Sounds like you weren't doing anything worse than making a casual pass at these women and leaving them alone if they blew you off, so you're not a harasser or whatever, you're an annoyance at worst. Everyone annoys some people--heck, I do when I start infodumping about Victoria Woodhull at social events. If you got a few dates out of talking to more women, good on you.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/21 08:46 PM
1

They want a sheltered liberal white girl who doesn't have any actual black or gay friends and are shocked at how hard it is to find one of those that'll put up with them. ....I never thought of that, but you're right. And I think there's a weird assumption that when they see a Basic White Girl expressing liberal opinions, it can't be because she has friends and relatives who are black/gay/etc., it must be abstraction?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/21 08:24 PM
2

It’s strange entitlement. That's exactly what it is. And possibly being so isolated that they literally don't know any POC or (out) LGBT people, and think their existence is a kind of thought exercise?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/21 08:22 PM
6

I think this question is looking at this wrong. Anything, and I mean anything you spend enough time with, you will not feel 100% the same about, 100% of the time. When I think of the things I have loved, be it work, or places, or people, or aesthetic styles, or even ideas, every single one I have, for moments there, kind of hated. This doesn't mean I have stopped loving them. It does not mean I never loved them. It means I am in a moment, and if the other factors and feelings are as strong as th…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/21 08:17 PM
1

Bold of you to assume that my family and friends are not ridiculous people.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/21 02:15 PM
1

I mean, I'm loving the low-key implication that "fantasizing about dreamy perfect people who don't really exist" is a female-specific trait. Men all fantasize about slightly overweight women who work as store clerks, right? But anyway, I do wonder what you mean by "average." Unless you've just circled round to the shocking conclusion that sometimes people hit it off with someone who's different from their pre-existing idea of who they should date?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/21 02:13 PM
2

I mean, you can easily hire movers, come to that. Or a mechanic/AAA service. I've moved solo more than once, including an international move, and I agree with u/OmarNBradley . It really isn't this tremendous deal.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/21 05:53 PM
2

Something in the middle would also be lowering your standards a bit, which women hate to hear as well. Men don't exactly love the idea either. I've told many a guy here that if they really believed in "hypergamy" and were really as lonely as they claimed, they could simply hit on women who were uglier than them. Not a popular option.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/21 04:26 PM
1

Direct, but not crude. I like best a man who asks me on a date, no bullshit, but doesn't get explicit in the process. Dude, it's a date. I know there's a potential for sexual interest, because I am not a moron.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/21 04:24 PM
7

Yep. I find that people who complain about the lack of mixed-politics couples forget that, like, a guy who is against LGBT rights is against my immediate family and my friends. Why would I date someone like that?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/21 04:23 PM
5

I mean.....you say all of this, but it's not about more (or less) tolerance of diversity. It's that, because of shifts in the political climate, couples with opposite political views actually are ideologically incompatible in a way that an Eisenhower supporter and a JFK fan weren't.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/21 04:22 PM
2

.............No. No, we are not. 50 years ago, it was 1971. Dating was much more restricted (most communities still had taboos against mixed-race couples, for instance). You were also significantly more bound by profession and social class (social class is still the elephant in the room, but shhhh). What you are experiencing is the culture of the PNW--they call it "Seattle freeze" for a reason. You quite simply live in a place where people don't discriminate much--they're equally standoffish to …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/21 04:19 PM
1

wrong again again learn to read 2 scenarios Jacob meets Rachel kiss and introduces himself that's a greeting, 2nd one Laban comes kisses and introduces himself. same words used. No, different. The weeping. (to say nothing of the fact that you're using a translation) no you just assumed that and as usual still wrong How, exactly, does claiming the early books of the Bible were prologue to the birth of Jesus not imply that you think the first few books of the Bible are, well, relating to Jesus?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/21 04:03 PM
1

No, you didn't--weeping is used as a display of emotionality, and further, male-female kisses aren't recorded as greeting in the Bible--you provided a male-male kiss. But you also seem to believe Christianity is the only Abrahamic religion, so.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/21 03:46 PM
0

"Something in the middle" is.....going to the bar. Making more friends. Joining clubs and going to trivia nights. Asking out people you get to chatting with at social events. But this sub HATES that.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/21 03:30 PM
2

dont be patronizing everyone has their perspective yours is just wrong No, it's not "wrong." You do understand that the first five books of the Bible are used in religions that have literally nothing to do with Jesus, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/21 03:29 PM
2

a greeting you know people kiss in greeting right. its not just a full on makeout. That's not how it's written. And it was most certainly not a norm at the time. cap, a lot of them were degens. their stories were told as the line of descent to the birth of Christ. Oh no. Honey, no. You're coming at this from a very specific perspective on the Bible that is far from universal.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/21 07:05 PM
0

Timing. Desperation happens before anything has gone on to indicate that you are or will be a couple. After, it's love bombing.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/21 03:02 PM
4

Yep! And even Robert Martin is no slouch--people in Austen's time would have recognized instantly that a prosperous farmer like him was actually a great catch for an illegitimate girl like Harriet. Emma just had outsize ambitions for her friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/21 02:57 PM
1

the story shows that there were already established cultural codes around marriage that came first not love. So their kiss at their first meeting was....what, exactly? the bible doesn't really celebrate it just told Jacob story. The stories of the Biblical patriarchs and matriarchs are all treated with reverence. There's a reason we know very little about Esau's marriages. doubt Rachel loved him. she was willing to sell his dick for broccoli I love how you can scream "established cultural codes"…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/21 02:56 PM
1

Arranged parents in the past were rarely entirely forced, they most of the cases have the option to refuse, of course with presure from parents, but they decided after all. This is the same case in India, for example. No. What you're describing is modern South Asian arranged marriages. In Europe and North America, arranged marriages were the exception (except for royalty), and they were pretty damn forced.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/21 11:03 AM
1

How does any of what you said (an interesting interpretation of the Bible, btw) change the fact that Jacob was in love with Rachel, and loved her so much that he was willing to work for 14 years and marry her sister, just to marry her? And that the Bible celebrates this? How is this anything but someone marrying for love?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/21 11:02 AM
13

Notice how so many of Shakespeare's couples ended up dead? I must have missed when Beatrice and Benedick, Hero and Claudio, Hermia and Lysander, Helena and Demetrius, the whole gang in As You Like it and the other gang in All's Well That Ends Well, Olivia and the Duke, etc etc, die. As for Austen.... You never read Persuasion, did you? Where the heroine is validated for her not marrying the man she loved until he was financially established. Or Emma, where the hero is celebrated for his skills a…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/21 01:12 AM
2

I disagree. I actually think that this is mostly a question of perception, and the ridiculous posturing people do on social media. People who take it too seriously end up disturbed--but reality is far less glamorous.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/21 01:07 AM
4

over 70% of relationships start via OLD Source? And remember "online" =/ "OLD"
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/21 12:42 AM
4

The novels of Jane Austen were all about the movement to make marriage into a love relationship. It was the actual start of making it the norm in Western culture. They were consciencely propaganda for that very purpose. Then.....how do you explain her emphasis on financial stability, or Shakespeare, who wrote hundreds of years before Austen, and his emphasis on love marriages?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/21 12:42 AM
2

He gives you the bite the first time, but if you ever try again, his reaction is no. Until you let him try your food, then the cycle repeats. The fuck? Does he....ask for a bite? He will not initiate sex unless you do so first. So if you're flirty and eager to be taken to poundtown, you may never notice. But if you never or rarely initiate sex, he won't either. That's not transactional it's just....normal.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/21 12:41 AM
3

OLD exposes women the best looking men around the nation if not the world Excuse you? OLD has geographic ranges--no one in California knows or cares if some hot guy is on tinder in NYC. People set to show "in X miles from me".
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/21 12:40 AM
3

That makes it less pleasant, sure, but it is still a very long mile from an arranged marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/21 12:39 AM
20

If you believe marrying for love is wrong, you can just say that. But if an idea has been circulating for thousands of years (and I can name myriad historical examples too, that ended both well and poorly), it's not a "modern" invention. It's old.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/21 04:58 PM
36

Not exactly. There are descriptions of marriages for the sake of love in the Bible (Jacob and Rachel in particular come to mind). Shakespeare's comedies center around marriages for love, as do the novels of Jane Austen. Love wasn't always a requirement for marriage, but it's pretty much always (with some adjustments for class and geographic location) been one possible reason to marry someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/21 03:58 PM
16

Stigma against divorce in the communities that practice them, plus more modern "arranged" marriages that are closer to a themed dating service (I actually know people who've been married that way--it was not like the arranged marriages of yore).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/21 03:55 PM
3

You're going to need to define "Machiavellian behavior" more specifically, then. Because you're gesturing vaguely at a concept of "Manipulation" which, depending on how you define it, can 100% be applied to "acting nice to people and positioning yourself in their orbit in order to become friendlier with them".
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/21 03:53 PM
5

How would this preposterous scenario even work? I'm picturing a guy stamping his foot like a child because I asked for a bite of his dish at the restaurant before he'd had a chance to try mine. And do you mean I asked him out, and then he asked for our second date? Because that sounds normal, but also....not in keeping with the rest of this. Let alone "have sex"! How, exactly, would "I will not have sex with you unless you have sex with me" look, beyond the obvious part that "having sex" is trad…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/21 03:49 PM
7

Exactly! I'm sure there are actual assholes who get dates out there, but a lot of what gets described here as "being an asshole" is just, like, hitting on women, teasing and flirting, and being honest about what kind of relationship you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/21 03:36 PM
18

So, by that logic, you would feel the same about marrying an ugly woman with kids from a previous marriage because your family wants the land she inherited from her first husband as you would about ... meeting a girl on Hinge and hitting it off?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/21 03:34 PM
6

Like yourself, I do disagree that the majority of men want weird harem-anime shit. I think most guys want to date casually for a while, then meet someone they can really love. That said, I think most people, men and women, are natural serial monogamists. We are not entirely bound by our instincts, we're not wild animals, but I think that's where our instincts would take us if we were.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/21 02:45 PM
28

Oh come on now. Y'all hear "the plurality of couples meet online" and extrapolate that to "THERE IS LITERALLY NO WAY TO DATE BUT TINDER." Shit, when I was last single I went on dates because, like, I got to chatting with someone at a farmer's market.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/21 02:41 PM
96

Do you....really not see the difference between two people who might not even be attracted to each other being forced or near-forced into marriage for the material benefit of their relatives and....meeting someone and falling for them because of what is essentially proximity, just substitute "an algorithm showed me this person" for "we were at the same bar on the same night"?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/21 02:39 PM
7

This is absurd. This sub perpetuates a myth that there's something "societally damaging" or "antisocial" about cultivating a large circle of friends, learning to be charming and assertive, and setting personal boundaries. This is the opposite of true. This post also carries a whiff of that old Pillosphere chestnut that people following the norms of a subculture you're not a part of are behaving like "assholes."
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/21 02:33 PM
–

I agree that whoever you are, someone out there will be interested in you. But I think it's a much more literal value of "someone" than most people care to admit.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/21 08:53 PM
9

Relevant question: do you think it's shallow, for women and society, to value physical attractiveness in men?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/21 08:23 PM
17

You're assuming this "inequality" is coming, like income inequality, from a place of equal desire, more or less--everyone wants to be rich, right? Not everyone has the same desires in dating, though. And that's kind of the point. Not everyone wants to have a lot of casual sex, it's not a net, universal positive. You're also acting like there's no difference between equality of outcome and equality of opportunity. You mention dating apps--they're notoriously a sausage fest. Many, many more men th…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/21 08:22 PM
2

I'm an American, but I've lived in Europe for years. This sub is not representative of "American dating culture"--they have huge blind spots about what dating is like for religious people, people who live in cities, highly educated people, and anyone nonwhite. Which, when you add them up (especially "people who live in cities" and "nonwhite people") totals out to a majority of Americans. These guys are describing a subculture at most.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/21 04:09 PM
3

the sorts of bars that are meant to be avenues for hooking up. The sorts of bars that are meant to be avenues for being asked on dates, though? No one, for example, is hooking up from my local pub--but lots of people are exchanging numbers and going on a date later. Like what? Match.com, eHarmony, religiously-focused dating sites, "a few matches a day" type apps like Coffee Meets Bagel....
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/21 07:12 AM
2

"Good women" don't go to bars? Maybe not the classic meat-market bars, but chill bars, pubs, neighborhood watering holes--plenty of normal chill women go to these places. You can also use non-swipe and/or limited focus dating sites, and...y'know...make more friends and ask them if they know someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/21 05:58 AM
2

Now I feel gross! How could you deal?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 03:05 PM
2

Oh the whole THING is cringe, lol. Like, even by the standards of cheesy romance novels.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 02:53 PM
2

Of course not. So you literally don't know what you're talking about?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 02:53 PM
2

Have you read the book?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 02:17 PM
3

No......? There is a scene where they remove a tampon together and then have sex, but nothing getting "ripped" let alone an assault. There is a scene where he essentially bullies her into having make-up sex, but that's a different part of the book.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 02:08 PM
3

It's not even that vague--the whole story is about a woman convincing a man to give up his lifestyle, his sexual preferences, his preferred relationship style, change his relationships with his friends and family, etc etc etc, to please a woman who dangles occasional crumbs of his original preferences as rewards for when he does what she likes. The fact that he's an asshole and a creep doesn't change any of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 02:07 PM
1

I will admit, I am irresistibly drawn to alpaca males. SO FLUFFY!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 01:23 PM
2

What does this have to do with my interpretation of a novel?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 01:22 PM
6

In light of all the recent material here about romance novels, I'm just going to say it here: 50 Shades of Grey is a femdom narrative. It is a story about a woman dominating a man, completely and utterly. It's a fantasy about breaking a powerful man, about a woman bringing a man to heel. Any Alfalfa Male talk about that book needs to acknowledge this.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 01:14 PM
2

Why is 50 Shades the best selling book of last decade? It's femdom. I am not kidding here. it's a heavily accessorized, materialistic, fantasy of a woman dominating a man. That's the plot.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 01:12 PM
1

If women did not associate muscularity with "bad boy" traits, why would they rank them lower for long-term relationships? Lack of time. Muscular men spend a lot of time maintaining that muscularity--bad trait in a boyfriend, who you want to have time for you. The muscles aren't worth it. Rankings of the most popular erotic novels aimed at women all involve an affair with an exciting, dangerous, alpha male who provides an emotional high. I could not find any exceptions. 50SoG is literally a fanta…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 10:42 AM
7

The average age of first marriage in my city is, for men and women, 32 years old. Of the mid-20s marriages I know, about half of them are already divorced--and I'm not even 30 yet. I can never quite figure out if posts like this are coming from outdated stereotypes, or just a wildly different location/ social set than I move in.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 02:25 PM
3

I actually think the amount of sex had in the past because of pure libido, or anything we'd call "lust," is overstated. I think a whole lot of sex was had (and even a fair amount of marriages formed) out of boredom. For the vast majority of people, the past was a very boring place. Even kings have been recorded doing outlandish things to stave off all that boredom (Francis I commissioning robots; Henry VIII's cosplay fixation). For ordinary people, sex was often one of the only forms of recreati…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 02:12 PM
1

We've had contraceptive for how long now? Reliable ones? Since the mid-1960s. Accessible to all? Eh, some would argue that's still not a thing in the US. Rates of virginity for both sexes are increasing with the frequencies reported decreasing as well. Rates of virginity yes, not seen frequency data. Dude, all of this points to lower amounts of sex and desire for children. Lower desire for children I still say the jury's out as compared to any time pre-1960s. Lower desire for sex I actually thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 01:15 PM
4

Okay, but again, this says nothing about how much sex people are having.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 12:53 PM
14

The data that states that women's fertility has been steadily declining for the past decade? I don't know of any data that squarely makes declining birth rates about "women's" fertility. It does, after all, take two parties to conceive a child--it's just that male infertility is a taboo subject.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 11:31 AM
14

Being unmarried well into your 30s was unheard of unless you were some monk or prostitute or something. When, exactly, was this? Because while it was rare to be an unmarried 30-something in the mid-twentieth century, bachelors and spinsters have always existed, and were actually more common in parts of the nineteenth century than mid-20th. There's a book I've mentioned on this sub before, published in 1901, whose heroine is an unmarried 35-year-old. Her unmarried status is relevant to the plot, …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 11:29 AM
10

What's with the hostility to economic understandings of the birth rate? Birth rates ALWAYS drop in economically perilous times--and in times of illness. This has been recorded since the Middle Ages. Do you understand exactly how much distrust, as you call it, there's been between men and women historically? Do you know what the "separate spheres" doctrine was? Do you understand too that most people do not want 13 children? That many very happy couples with lively sex lives do not want any childr…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 11:24 AM
2

If attraction to bad boys is not as ubiquitous as I claim, why are women even attracted to muscular men? What else makes biceps and abdominals attractive? I'm going to focus on this one, because what the fuck? Why would muscularity be a signal of "badness"? It's a signal of strength, and competence. Heck, it's probably got provisioning associations if you want to go all evo-psych--you think a guy in bad shape is going to be worth a damn at farming or hunting? If the RedPill thesis is incorrect, …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 07:54 AM
2

Today is a day for unlikely otters! A species of otter thought extinct for decades was recently sighted in Argentina: https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2021/may/25/a-huge-surprise-as-giant-river-otter-feared-extinct-in-argentina-pops-up-aoe
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 05:05 PM
0

Ahhh, silly me, my mistake.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 01:35 PM
4

Or...I have a bit of a kink. I've mentioned my experiences with bald guys elsewhere in this sub. I've got a thing, and it is because of a crush I developed at an impressionable age. I'm not saying anything about "women"; I was asked for my personal opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 01:22 PM
12

Shave it off, most likely--I watched a lot of "Smallville" reruns when I was 14, and Lex Luthor made an impression.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 11:52 AM
5

This is....weird. You don't respect someone because you have a crush on them, develop a crush on them, or find them sexually attractive? It's a lack of respect to end a friendship because being friends with your unrequited crush...hurts? (also, you're doing the same thing a lot of guys on here do where you assume all women are attractive. Ugly women exist) But I also don't understand the idea that you can't be friends with people you harbor low-key sexual curiosity about. It doesn't make sense t…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 11:51 AM
1

Okay? So? You are not "average." You did not do the median thing. Something about you is outside the norm. It could be your standards--the "average" man has different/lower standards than you. But it means you were not, in this regard, "average."
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 08:07 AM
5

[citation needed]
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 09:49 PM
6

According to this, which is less than a month old, it's 16.8 for men, 17.2 for women: https://nypost.com/2021/07/01/when-you-lose-your-virginity-may-be-up-to-your-genes-study/
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 09:21 PM
3

Again, I really view age gaps differently depending on how old everyone is. I really, truly, don't think anything nefarious is likely to be up up if a 30-something has a partner in their early 50s. I just don't. You can call those who claim that a white guy can't get with a black girl a racist, and they are within their rights to date, but can you genuinely believe that a old person can be with a younger person without any nefarious purposes? I mean...I honestly do think it's possible. I don't t…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 08:54 PM
10

So first of all, an "average virgin man in his early 20s" first needs to face at least one thing: he's not average. At least in this department. Average age of virginity loss is 17. This fellow is a late bloomer, and he ought to own up to that. It'll give him perspective. I'd tell him to socialize more. Even when it sounds lame. Even when he's tired. Even when he doesn't want to. It'll take time. Maybe even a lot of time. But most men don't have a big enough social circle, and could use more fri…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 08:29 PM
1

I don't believe anyone knows what they want at 18. Out of anything. This is consistent. People tend to figure it out in the first couple years out of college, IME. Generally with a few false starts and mistakes along the way.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 08:18 PM
5

I don't like the idea of having sex with a stranger, so this just seems normal and kinda nice?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 08:15 PM
2

What can you do if you saw a 40 year old with a 20-something year old dating? Call the cops on them? I mean, if I knew the 20-year-old personally, I might take them aside and gently ask them a few questions about their relationship, how their partner treats them, etc. I don't actually care about age gaps in a vacuum, just about people getting hurt and taken for a ride. But my point was more that for all these deeply uncomfortable and gross "you need to approve of my desire to fuck teenagers and …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 08:13 PM
2

There's a difference between morally bad and unpleasant. I find mushy peas unpleasant and to be avoided. There's nothing immoral about them--they're just a vegetable. And if "creepy" is not a moral concept or at least commonly used as one, then why is it always brought up as an unsolicited opinion in a moral discussion about age difference? Because people talk about their likes and dislikes? That's a thing they do? People call furries creepy and gross, and I would wager money that they would do …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 08:10 PM
3

Hot take, free to a good home: if you're tormented in your romantic pursuits, not because the objects of your affection don't want you (not that, never that), or because your family will disown you for your choice of partner, or because you'll lose your job or your home because of your choice of partner, but because some random people might call you "creepy" or "gross", there is absolutely someone in this relationship who's not mature enough to be dating right now--it's you. (also, as I've said …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 05:47 PM
2

Finding something creepy doesn't make it inherently immoral. Ever been too a really poorly-maintained, poorly lit apartment? And it kind of reminds you of a horror movie setting? You think it's creepy, yeah? And you're allowed to. And that doesn't mean anything immoral is afoot in that apartment or among the people who live there. "Creepy" is just a feeling. It doesn't mean anything inherently immoral is going on. It just means something gives you the shivers.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 05:43 PM
0

The store brand at my neighborhood's "upscale" grocery store.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 03:42 PM
5

Did someone say otters? Scotland is so proud of their otter population, the Scottish ten-pound note features not one, but two otters! Especially amusing and surprising as, only sixty-odd years ago, otters were considered pests across the UK (by terrible, terrible people)!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 03:40 PM
5

But swinging is specifically about group sex and partner swapping--one of my oldest friends and her husband are swingers. If the guy in a swinger couple isn't desired by any of the other swingers, the couple won't be invited, so the asymmetry you mentioned just...isn't a thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 03:00 PM
1

And they're welcome to keep it up for their unicorn. They're going to gross out a whole lot of women along the way, but that's not illegal.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 02:59 PM
4

I don't think you know what swinging is.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 02:28 PM
1

Because OP was about the judgement of onlookers--if you ick out the person you're hitting on, well, nothing for it, I'm afraid.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 02:27 PM
1

Because they're grossed out? Because the guy reminds them of their dad/uncle/whatever, and thinking of them sexually feels repulsive and upsetting?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 01:44 PM
16

You think the US's (miserly) welfare system is preventing women from being sufficiently dependent on "beta" men, wait until you hear about this thing called "jobs"...
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 07:23 AM
4

Sugar babies aren't being "predatory", lol, they're selling a service. Restaurants aren't being 'predatory" by selling unhealthy food either. That said, I suspect you, like everyone who makes this argument on this sub, aren't really talking about age gaps. You're talking about age gaps where one party is very young, and so it often reads as creepy and like taking advantage. That's not inherent to age gaps. One poster here talks about how her parents have a 20-year gap; from everything she's said…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 07:19 AM
3

I never said anything about these women having sex with anyone? Or even meeting anyone. The point was "I could do this if I wanted," not that they actually do, or want.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 07:13 AM
2

That's fair--and as always, it is important to read more than just the tagline in any study! (I also, thinking more about Sokal Squared, think that they didn't prove their point about academic bias at all--- regardless of the wonderful, award-winning study that is Dog Park :D --because they had no control group. If they'd done a bunch of hoax papers with conservative premises the authors found absurd, and seen how those did as well, the whole thing would be more robust--from everything I know ab…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 08:35 PM
7

It's an appeal to pride. I think men on this sub don't understand about that. Many women do this--it's not that they want the guy more because he's acting disinterested per se. It's that they never really "wanted" him, they wanted to prove to themselves they could get him. Once you've got that, the game is over.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 07:43 PM
6

Mustelid gang checking in! Baby stoats are called "kits"--and did you know stoats enjoy trampolines? https://www.thedodo.com/daily-dodo/baby-stoats-find-a-trampoline-and-have-the-time-of-their-lives
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 06:42 PM
1

my main concern about publishing for money soley because it meshes with the narrative and mainstream (which in academia is PRO Women overall) and the rest of publishing work. Also the standards for publishing in such respected journals, as i said, seems almost not existent when delivering a wishful conclusion. YOu're misunderstanding. It isn't "solely because it meshes with the narrative and mainstream"--you can find journals who will publish anything for a few hundred bucks. Like, just this wee…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 05:57 PM
1

It was this one, but it wasn't quite as simple as "replacing Jews with men"--it was more like putting in "feminism" where "Nazism" had been, so you got stuff like "it is a great and important struggle to get feminism to spread all over the world." But yeah, the real story here is how many low-quality "journals" are floating around, willing to publish whatever if you slide them a few hundred bucks.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 03:10 PM
4

You can do the same in any kind field. The lowest ranked journals will gladly publish anything as long as you pay them. Wakefield got published for his blood-stealing conspiracy "study," but we don't say all of medicine or medical journal publishing is bad because of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 01:40 PM
4

This is Sokol Squared! It's a famous hoax series in academia. It's also a holy mess. And it includes quite a few more disciplines than gender studies (a misunderstood field in itself). The author here does a more comprehensive analysis than i have time for, if you're interested: https://thingofthings.wordpress.com/2018/10/10/on-sokal-squared/ Essentially, with the exception of Dog Park (which, yeah), most of these studies....actually did do what they set out to, assuming the data they used was r…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 01:39 PM
1

People who are some form of "other than straight" are, by most estimates, around 10% of the population.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 01:29 PM
8

No, but I'm in a LTR. Why do you ask?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 12:06 PM
11

No...? I cared deeply for my first partner at the time. We weren't right for each other. I'm grateful for the experience, which was a positive one even though I was terribly nervous, and glad it happened the way it did, instead of finding out how incompatible we were, say, after we'd gotten married.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 12:00 PM
15

the most important event of her life (losing her virginity) Excuse me, but what in the actual fuck?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 10:55 AM
1

Do you think that in years/decades/centuries past, teenage girls were seeking, or receiving, extensive romantic advice from their fathers? That fathers of yore were comfortable talking to their teenage daughters about such things, or found such conversations appropriate? Also, the idea that most dads are these super-involved parents in a kid's early childhood and then abruptly stop at adolescence feels very [citation needed].
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 10:54 AM
1

The root problem of ADHD is genetic and chemical, though. It's a chronic condition.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 07:25 AM
3

I mean, those are fair and good reasons. But like, I've said that women who don't want to date someone they were only lukewarm on didn't want a relationship that badly, and I say the same of men who won't go out with a kinda ugly girl. This is a good thing, mind. Desperation is never a good look.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 07:24 AM
1

At least one of the most famous studies didn't account for the sexuality of the participants (even more notable when it's bi men, who may be interested in sex with women, not having any, and not celibate).
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 07:22 AM
6

Except that "stuff that feels good when you're dumped and sad" is, like, a terrible barometer for "ohhh, just do the Pig Woman thing and you'll see how meaningless it is". It doesn't matter that it's meaningless. If you read the nutrition facts on junk food people eat when dumped, you'll see it's gross--it doesn't matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 07:21 AM
2

The comment above me literally states that not having that is a disadvantage.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 07:20 AM
3

Don't No True Scotsman me; you know as well as I do that many, many people with red flairs are very much obsessed with lifting and a very particular vision of financial success, often to the detriment of their social skills. Heck, one of my guy friends ran into these dudes IRL.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 07:26 PM
15

You seem to be confusing narcissism with vanity. They're not the same. And no, not all women are vain. But many men are most attracted to vain women.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 06:52 PM
7

Yes....? Everyone has an ego, this is not a "straight men" thing it's a "Psych 101" thing. That's like trying to find a man who doesn't have attachments, in the Buddhist sense. Its just not a thing in dating. Ahhh, a "big ego". Honestly, I haven't noticed any correlation with attractiveness. One of the guys with the biggest ego I know was a physically unappealing, moderately infamous internet troll. He'd received a lot of praise in some niche areas, and it played in odd ways with other mental he…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 06:49 PM
1

Your perspective is not actually the older one. I've mentioned before that my grandma is in her mid-90s, and when she was dating, you weren't exclusive until engagement. It's a region-by-region thing, I think. My mother's generation had a concept of premarital LTR, but cheating on your LTR was more normalized until engagement (older generations were also more forgiving of infidelity generally). I don't think you're exclusive until you talk about it. If this happens three dates in, awesome. Six m…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 06:44 PM
109

Dude, I think the vast majority of women are well aware that dating app "likes" and such are worthless (in fact, it's men here who disagree). The only times I've ever known women to go on a dating app looking for "validation" are the very freshly dumped. Reminding yourself that there are options (even desperate options) can be a way out of the "boo hoo, Bobby dumped me, no one will ever even want to talk to me again" self-pity party. If it works, go for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 06:37 PM
13

And all men. A certain degree of narcissism is actually healthy--people with too little suffer terribly.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 06:35 PM
-2

And if this sub was full of women complaining that they couldn't get a date, if this thread had been about the (rising) number of celibate women, then that would be relevant thing to mention!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 06:32 PM
7

Healthy diet of regular ADHD meds?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 06:31 PM
1

You could also....y'know...work on cultivating a more extroverted and confident self.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 06:25 PM
17

Honestly? Never mind that a decent chink of these supposedly sexless men are in fact gay or asexual men, whose sex lives do not include women for obvious reasons... Social anxiety, social isolation, and....lack of desire. "Want" is a funny thing to measure. I think a decent chunk of single guys "want" to have sex in the way I "want" a new pair of jeans. They like the sound of it, they'd take it if it falls into their lap, but it doesn't preoccupy them, and they're not interested in expending eff…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 05:32 PM
7

1.) YES. From everything I witnessed, high school dating is the coldest and most calculating dating will ever be. You think 25-year-olds are too concerned with what their friends think, and consider their romantic partners accessories? Oh, honey. 2.) No. I did not date in high school. More to the point, there was no one I recall from that time who I can imagine I could have loved. 3.) Nope. One of my best friends had a boyfriend, and other friends dated a bit, but I have no regrets about being a…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 01:28 PM
1

......and if your dating advice for men is mostly centered around "do not over-rely on swipe apps"? How will, uh, making a swipe app help?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 08:09 AM
1

I'm a city girl. My "yard" is 410 acres of parkland with flower gardens, lakes, soccer pitches, and a zoo.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 08:08 AM
0

How do you think this is Just World Fallacy? I can see disagreeing with it, but I cannot see anything just about parallel vicious/virtuous cycles.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 08:16 PM
1

The only clarification I'd add to this is that it's not gendered. Happy girls get hit on more and are more enthusiastically LTR'ed than sad girls by a long, long mile.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 08:15 PM
4

You ... seem to assume this fear/"on guard" feeling is, like, rational. It's not. You can't say "we're biological aninals! Our wiring hasn'tchanged in thousands of years!" (which is incidentally kinda false--human evolution is always going on, and there's decent evidence that the Industrial Revolution changed our neurology more than you'd expect), and then turn around and assume that the anxiety you feel around some, or most, guys has to be perfectly grounded in how well you could match up again…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 08:13 PM
7

They use "incel" as an insult. "Incels" are (among other things) self-professed guys who want to have sex but can't. The men you seem to be talking about (men who aren't looking for casual sex) are neither incels, nor perceived to be. If you wanted to insult them, I suppose you might call them "monks" or something? But nobody does that. Nobody is bothered by men who aren't out trawling for casual sex--except, perhaps, other men in certain social contexts.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 03:30 PM
5

You want and pursue traditionally gendered men while railing against gender norms? I'm sorry, I'm not getting it. Admittedly, most of the feminists I know are either some variation on "not cishet" and/or in relationships about as far from the Pillosphere view of dating as it's possible to get--myself included, and my relationship is actually one of the most traditional in my social circle (in that we're monogamous).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 02:28 PM
3

I wouldn't hate the guy or anything, but I wouldn't be attracted to him. I can't be attracted to someone I can't hold a conversation with. It's genuinely one of the most important parts of attraction to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 01:11 PM
7

Are you saying that men GENUINELY are encouraged to be open about their problems today and that this DOESN'T cause loss of attraction on a woman's part? Depends on the social circle. This is actually a really divergent thing, very dependent on location and culture. No one old enough to be living on their own was raised this way, but that's a different matter. I'm a young millenial, and YES, it really doesn't "cause loss of attraction" among any women I associate with. I'm assuming YOU don't want…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 01:05 PM
2

Upscale suburb on the East Coast--most people worked well-paying but super time-intensive jobs, and had more discretionary income than discretionary time. Now I live in the middle of a city, and no one has a lawn.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 01:00 PM
13

....That's not feeling protected, a lot of the time. That's feeling like the man himself is not a danger. The majority of the time i've heard a woman talk about how her boyfriend/partner/crush makes them feel safe, it's been about how they aren't nervous/afraid of/about him, and it's in contrast to other guys in their general universe who they feel they have to be on guard around.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 12:04 PM
12

provision, protection, being a gentleman, chivalry, yardwork, being emotionally strong, etc. Do you actually know any women who describe themselves as feminists, but also want their boyfriend/husband to cover all their living expenses? Because I've never met such a person, so that's "provision" gone. I've never really understood the "protection" thing. Protection from what? When I think of people I "demand protection" from, I think of, like, the military, and firefighters and stuff. And in those…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 11:18 AM
6

Never mind the 60s--"being a virgin" has never been a requirement for marriage in the vast majority of the world. There have been quite a few times and places where "not having had premarital sex" was a requirement to be considered marriageable, but that's not the same thing a virginity. People forget, young widows and widowers used to be a lot more common, and not considered unmarriageable. A 23-year-old woman who was married at 21 and widowed at 22 would almost certainly remarry.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 11:03 AM
2

Not really. That's been the topic this whole time. Then you poorly articulated OP. "Sleeping around" is commonly used to refer to having multiple sexual partners, not having a single one at a time. "Sleeping with someone else" would have been a better phrasing. I've heard otherwise. Vivid fever dreams of manosphere men not withstanding, such a dynamic would be so much work. Most people simply lack the energy.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 07:37 PM
2

First off, you've moved the bar from 'having sex with multiple people simultaneously' to 'serial sexual monogamy, but not necessarily dating monogamy'. But most women....don't have a consistent FWB while they're looking for a boyfriend. (and nice how you don't think men ever do such things) Plenty of women have FWBs, but it's usually while they're not looking for a LTR for one reason or another.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 07:09 PM
3

Preach. Also, if you describe yourself as an "average person" but also have no or very few friends, no meaningful interests, no aspirations beyond getting laid...you're not average. You're unusual.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 02:32 PM
2

I don't believe you're exclusive until you explicitly talk about it and agree to it. That's how I operate, and how I expect someone I'm seeing to operate. So no, I've never "been unwillingly part of a soft harem" because I'm not dumb enough to be the girlfriend of a man who is not yet my boyfriend--I've also never, to my knowledge, been cheated on.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 11:05 AM
6

So, "you're not exclusive until you say you are," and "it's a bit sketch to sleep with multiple people at the same time" are not mutually exclusive positions, you know. You can go on dates with multiple people at the same time and just....not have sex with them, until you meet someone you want a relationship with. That's a thing people do. I think this sub gets too deep into its fever dreams where every time two people grab a pint at happy hour on a Wednesday after exchanging a few messages on H…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 09:00 AM
5

One of my best friends and her husband have a relationship that's just... so sweet. They've been through a lot of stuff together (one of them leaving a religion after tremendous internal turmoil; the loss of elderly relatives; drama with less-elderly relatives; mental health issues; the one who left the religion's parents' constant proseltyzing; etc.). And there's a lot about their relationship that is not for me personally (they're not strictly monogamous). But they're always on each other's te…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 08:55 PM
21

So, this is you and your girlfriend? Dude, you're a good-looking guy. Kinda like an old-school front man for a band. Your girlfriend has a nice smile and a lovely clear complexion. You look happy together in your pictures. I hope you really are. The rest? Fuck it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 08:41 PM
–

This hasn't been my experience. There's been guys I objectively thought were "meh" or even on the uglier side who I also found sexy and wanted to touch.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 02:33 PM
–

Idk, some ugly-ass rockers have had groupies.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 02:32 PM
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