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fleuretpomme Archive

View 2 posts and 268 comments by fleuretpomme on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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35

Mine's not super dramatic but here goes. We were living together and I was paying 75% of everything while he finished up school with the agreement he would make up the difference after getting a job. He graduated and dragged his feet applying. I think he was averaging 3 applications a week? He thought a lot of jobs were beneath him and refused to work at anything less than dream job. One day I was looking at finances and tried to show him our expenditures and the amount I had charged on my card.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 09:49 PM
51

I hate when people are late too. However if I arrive first and see the parking situation, I give a heads up. This guy didn't do that and then blamed her for it. He also doesn't acknowledge how much more dangerous it is for a woman to walk alone. I'm assuming it's night in this story, she's probably dressed up for the date, AND she was in a nice car. That's like waving a flag that says rape and/or rob me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 08:09 PM
223

My thoughts as well. If you ever get sick or otherwise can't maintain the glow up, they would drop you quickly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 05:00 PM
1

I hate that our stories are so ubiquitious. 😥 I'm glad to hear he wasn't abusive at least
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 07:22 PM
3

I can't help but think of all the damage done to the ex's and he gets a happy ending. As a woman who was just collateral damage until he leveled up and finally started acting right, it boils my blood even if they did finally own their shit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 06:47 PM
29

Yeah what is going on? It's quite literally the antithesis of this sub's values. Are they redpill women/LVW trying to cause dissent and take down from the inside??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 10:12 PM
4

Men really be treating dating like the stock market
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 09:01 PM
156

Monogamous people can and do have more than one love throughout their lives, tf?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 04:09 AM
330

She's too pretty for him. He's getting fatter and she's still slim... Any man willing to let you embarrass yourself in front of so many eyes doesn't care about you. A man who cares about you will show you through actions. If you have to ask this far in, this ain't it. Marriage is not some mythical thing to chase and achieve and then it's happier ever after. He would probably cheat anyway. She needs to get out of there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 02:18 AM
72

Shame on him for trying to monetize off of a recent murder victim and simultaneously talk shit about a dead person who can't defend themselves. It doesn't matter if he didn't know she was dead before posting. It was a high likelihood... timing is everything with YT so he was hoping to capitalize off the attention. Funny that the featured video is about Amber Heard when she's 1 example of a woman domestic abuser vs the COUNTLESS male ones.... this guy is definitely a covert incel/MRA type. Remind…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 03:34 AM
5

Yes absolutely, me too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 03:17 AM
8

I did too. I thought ~men age like fine wine~ though? Seems he hit the wall extra early
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 10:40 PM
211

If the Gabby Petito case taught us anything, it's that we have no clue what goes on behind these lovey dovey couples post. Tbh, the happiest couples I know aren't flaunting it on social media...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 10:26 PM
21

We need to advocate for a law that allows them to detain intimate partners for questioning when they have probable cause like this. Gabby's Law? This is.perfect representation of cultural misogyny in action. Women are exclusively the victims of the crimes. Have you ever heard of a woman doing this? Yet the laws are SO EASY to exploit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 06:03 AM
6

This is exactly what he will say. We should take bets on it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 04:44 PM
7

Holy fuck I didn't even think of that. Societal misogyny at its finest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 04:33 AM
36

This is accurate. It's why women as a group need to culturally enact change by only sleeping with men who demonstrate that they're on it. The opportunity for sex would be their incentive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 02:52 AM
32

Holy crap, this is amazing. Please write a book!!! Maybe they will replace their holy books, Sex at Dawn and More than Two lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 06:49 AM
82

You forgot the sex where he goes soft in 2 minutes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 07:49 PM
103

It's so prevalent I noticed this pre-FDS. I had a medical emergency and a scrote who heard about it thought I wouldn't notice his attempt hidden in the well wishes mesage. Another one swooped in when I was freshly grieving the end of a ltr. It's like someone else said, they were looking for vulnerability to take advantage of. When I'm doing well, happy, and thriving they are nowhere to be seen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 09:47 PM
20

I'm not advocating a DDoS but man that sure would be inconvenient for them if it happened. I wish I could write a script to automate bogus submissions
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 01:31 AM
53

Did you see the thread where men were allowed to state their preferences in women, and because some got downvoted, the male mod said women downvoting on the sub are being toxic feminists? I swear, that guy is a covert misogynist who toes the line at letting the mask slip. One dude was like, I'm attracted to 5'6 or taller, around 120 lbs. Like excuse me, you're getting into underweight to anorexic territory the taller you go at that weight, but women downvoring are toxic? Sure, Chad. 🙄 I wish the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 06:56 PM
18

I'm sure your roommate is a nice person but I seriously question her credentials in the field when she doesn't know child development 101... that it's not good to introduce new people into their life who can vanish tomorrow. Seems a bit naive imo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 05:33 PM
26

Polyshits love Sex at Dawn. Not surprising there's an overlap with the manosphere at all
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 06:05 PM
77

I forgot how speaking about dating experiences as a bisexual woman makes people, especially men, angry. People expect me to act like there's no difference in experiences I have with both. Any negative experience I talk about is me being a mAn HaTeR. I got banned from another sub after disclosing I'm bi and talking about the differences. I wish reddit actually had a legit way to report mods for anti-LGBT behavior
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 04:07 AM
129

*chef's kiss* Beautiful recap. Have we ever turned that notallmen back at them? Next time I see a man complaining about a bad experience with a woman, I'm just going to say notallwomen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 08:51 PM
165

It's not until they have a daughter or something happens to a sister, girlfriend, wife, mother, etc that it becomes "real"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 06:36 PM
9

He chose to type it so his handwritting couldn't be identified by the cops. This is a calculated move.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 06:17 PM
820

Weird that he had a problem with that but not the man attracted to his daughter's 15 year old female friends. Keep talking and proving the point. I sure wish I had his life where womens suffering at the hands of men is an abstract talking point to debate and not my everyday lived experience. Stats don't lie, an overwhelming majority of men commit violent crime and are one of the causes of female mortality rates. Dude needs to shut up and get back to wanking his little dick because women won't ev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 06:13 PM
27

If he's looking for a woman to gold dig, just say that then lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 02:35 PM
10

Yep I called out gendered slurs and questioned why they hadn't been removed (a man was calling someone a bitch) and they banned me for it. Asked what rule/specific comment caused it and they muted me so I couldn't message mods. They have some internalized misogyny they need to work through. A lot of female posters have been unsuccesfully dating for years and can't see why they're struggling when they follow advice of men in their peer group (who have a vested interest in keeping women as a group…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 12:33 PM
63

Jfc she needs a rescue mission
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 01:38 PM
272

He didn't believe for a second a vid was taken of him. He was using the social contract to shame her into letting him look for nudes in her gallery. Pathetic lmao 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 09:28 PM
1

The mod is a pickme propping up sexist ideologies. As others stated, it's rooted in misogyny to think women are naturally good at this kind of stuff. He could have asked a mixed gender group. He may have worded it cutely/nicely, but let's be real, he and other men's intentions are to make the space appealing to women so that they can fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 03:34 PM
40

There's one thing LVM males and HVM birds have in common. Nests!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 12:36 AM
40

Holy hell, you blew my mind. I thought it was weird that a guy brought cookies, specifically sugar cookies, to cheer me up when I don't even like them that much. He never asked my preference... if he did he would know it is macadamia or chocolate chip. It makes sense now. This was probably how a former flame wanted to be cheered up
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 03:11 AM
136

Those 5 years make a huge difference. I bought my own home at 26 but only had a minimum wage part time job in college at 22
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 10:20 PM
388

I have no idea. It's a serious sociological problem that I think will have economic impacts in the next few decades. Not working = not paying taxes or contributing to a retirement (in the US). No job = no healthcare either. They're drains on not just women/family but society as a whole. I really loved my ex but had to leave because he hit every one of your bullet points. It became a host/parasite situation. I have an older cousin who is the exact same way, except he fathered kids he doesn't care…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 08:58 PM
15

That phrase sounds no different to me than "white people have it bad too" (and I'm white...) If I can recognizer power structures as someone in the group that upholds and benefits them, then men can do the same. If someone thinks the latter is ridiculous when white people say it but not when men say it, they're a hypocrite, full stop.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 08:19 PM
54

This is why we don't move in or be forever girlfriends
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 04:58 PM
34

I'm so sorry you went through this. To help others, I want to break down his tactics. You were in a vulnerable position in the breakup, and he intentionally locked on to that. Same happened to me, dudes popped out of the woodwork offering "support" but it was a grab at sex and/or control. Now I steer clear of straight men trying to be friends or offer to listen. I literally couldn't believe it, you r@ped me and you're not interested???? Because it was about power and control, not sex. He doesn't…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 03:09 PM
29

Imagine being a VP and not even competent enough to send an email properly. Embarassing. That apology is just a "whoops I got caught, can this go away now?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 03:00 PM
45

I'm feeling sad today. Leveling up can be lonely. I reconnected with an old college friend. She has a (seemingly) HV boyfriend who is good looking. Now she's a sweet person, but she has her share of issues or negatives... she can't drive, has never been able to hold down more than a part time job, has untreated mental illnesses, dropped out of college, and has a lot of college debt. But yet she has a bf who loves her to the moon. Then there's me, who will give someone the shirt off my back and h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 03:47 AM
60

I took a look and don't like that she has some videos/playlists along the lines of "Do This to Be Irresistible to Men", "What Men Want", "These Are the Types of Women Men Want" Just, no. Who cares what they care about or want. We should be leveling up our lives for ourselves, first and foremost, not in order to attract men. She also seems to conflate high value with rich. High value is more in line with having VALUES and bringing value to a relationship. Value is not always monetary, it could be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 03:38 PM
25

Glad you found it insightful! Plus if you factor in the cost of paying surrogates to gestate and deliver genetic children, that easily runs in the $20K+ range. A woman having a man's children is automatically not a 50/50 relationship because he will never have to endure the physical toll it takes on the body. Even in my pickme days I used to get confused about men complaining about divorces when they were the ones advocating 50/50 during the dating stages. The cognitive dissonance is real
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 10:39 PM
31

And it's not even theirs to lose, if they're really doing 50/50, which is what's crazy. Not counting the emotional labor which is hard to assign a monetary value and often not even recognized. I hope the OP is fake and if it's real, I hope she divorces and gets out of there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 10:35 PM
368

Sometimes I miss heterosexual relationships with men and then I read shit like this and realize I'm not missing out on anything but abuse. I hope she bleeds on his shit and then divorces him so he can whine about dead bedrooms and losing 50% of his stuff on reddit (which is wild, I now realize, how much they love going 50/50 until divorce happens, then it's NoT fAiR)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 05:26 PM
1

Yes that's true. I knew a guy in the medical field who was not a LVM but worked weird hours and only came in contact with older folks. So I would would say it's heavily dependent on their occupation and/or location due to demographics and culture. The chances are so low to cross paths, that I don't try anymore
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 08:07 PM
35

I'm also a lingerie lover and with that comes discernment. There's a difference between high quality lingerie designed to fit well and make you feel good and cheap child labor stuff. LVM really think they can buy a fishnet bodysuit and shoestring thong for $20 as a "gift"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 08:00 PM
70

And that's why I swore off dating apps completely. men who can do those things aren't wasting their time on dating apps. they're out there learning and doing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 01:33 PM
52

ikr, penis envy who? I don't know him. It's pussy envy bb I mean case in point, there's a whole group/movement who wishes they had pussies too. It's reddit so I can't say more than that ha 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 06:07 PM
7

This. If he's truly a dangerous and/or misogynistic person, paying only delays finding that info out earlier
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 05:49 PM
13

Last time I went through a breakup, I reassessed my life and goals. I ended up losing 20 lbs, buying a house by myself, and getting a big girl job making close to six figures. I haven't been in a relationship since then, partially by choice due to staying true to boundaries and standards and partially due to lack of options. I have however grown my friend network among men and women. One friend ghosted me out of nowhere shortly after they were moody (unrelated to me) and straight up left me alon…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 04:58 PM
42

Not a movie but a show. Tokyo Girl on Amazon Prime is about a single woman going through each decade of life and sometimes centers on the unfulfilling relationships she encounters in each. It's pretty underrated imo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 02:08 AM
11

What's wrong with Blade Runner movies? I'm a huge scifi buff and enjoy these. I don't pick up on any misogyny in these movies. In BR2049, there were prostitutes and the holoprojector sex scene, but I interpret these as part of the world building and part of what makes the setting a dystopia.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 07:57 PM
11

Who cares what men think about it? Or what they think about anything to be honest
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 10:55 PM
32

I'm sorry this happened to you. Fuck that guy. It happened to me before in the store parking lot. I didn't react at all. I just turned around and got in my car and called the store to tell them once I was safely away. Guys who do this love any type of reaction. They get off on it. No reaction is the best one because they can't get off to it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 01:17 AM
12

Right??? These dudes have done nothing deserving of fatherhood and having a "legacy" per their own words. A woman develops your child in her womb and goes through the pain of delivery, and this is how you behave? Excuse me, what? If it was harder to become a father due to lack of access, the quality of men would step up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 09:32 PM
23

I feel really bad for her and not at all surprised by the scrote behavior BUT at a certain point, people have got to wake the fuck up. Why did she procreate with him? Why does she need to post to reddit? Can't she see how utterly fucked up it is? I know it's deepseated conditioning to be a pickmeisha but I can't. Even deep in my pickme days I had a breaking point and it was nowhere near this level of fuckery
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 08:17 PM
9

It's worth noting that they literally thanked him "for doing the right thing". Even though it's a small victory in ousting him, it's evidence of everyday, deeply ingrained misogyny that the female mods are thanking the oppressor. He should be apologizing, not getting patted on the ass. Appreciation is reserved for good people, not sick fucks like him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 01:26 PM
36

Doing it via pm is definitely a way for him to fulfill his fetish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 12:50 AM
2

A few years ago I contracted a serious stomach virus that left me in the hospital on an IV drip. I was severely dehydrated. I was staying with my NVM ex at the time. When it first started, I said he should take me to the urgent care because I couldn't keep water down. He said I "wasn't try hard enough to stay hydrated". Aka I wasn't constantly chugging water just to vomit it back up. After about 28 hours later, he reluctantly drove me to the urgent care where they told me to go to a hospital aft…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 04:20 PM
27

This happened to me in my pickme days. At a coffee shop. He was too cheap to buy HIMSELF a coffee. I bought mine and he just watched me drink it and talked only about himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 02:52 PM
68

I'm 28 and the only homeowners in my sphere are single women and couples. So many men live with family "to save money" but all I see is someone cockblocking themselves and not learning any independence skills that come with living completely alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 02:31 PM
59

I'm a user experience student. I can make user interface wireframes and prototypes as well as help with research to find out what users (women) want and have them test our early prototypes. Basically I design it and make sure people actually like it, and others code it. edit to add. I've thought long and hard about why dating apps suck and how tech designed by someone not accountable to shareholders would fix them. I have initial ideas. Basically, only women are able to swipe to eliminate men sw…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 02:22 AM
12

I'm confused why he's posting in a dating advice subreddit when these are meetings, not dates. He himself even called it a meeting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 10:04 PM
14

Eloquent *chef's kiss*
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 10:01 PM
1

I've had the most success making friends at volunteer events and hobby groups for things I was already into! Wish you luck, it's rough out there
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 12:23 PM
157

I needed to hear this. I've been forcing myself to get out there and feeling bad about it. I didn't know why but now it makes sense. Sis dropping truth bombs out here
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 02:37 PM
46

I don't like the look of traditional rings (silver toned, solitaire diamond). I would prefer a ruby or some other stone that is durable but still non traditional. My dream ring probably costs less than $2K so it's not the cost but the thought that goes into ordering it. As long as it's durable and beautiful, it's good. As for proposal, I don't want to be around people or get a lot of attention. Ideally it would be in a beautiful scenic location somewhere abroad like Japan or certain Euro countri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 02:16 PM
17

Yes and any negative feelings felt by the primary are seen as problems for the primary to overcome and work through and "question the root of their jealousy" Polyamory is just for people who can't be alone get bored easily and have a constant need for novelty, therefore treating others like objects
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 03:46 AM
11

That's a really beautiful way of writing. Yes this is it exactly. The analogy they usually use is kids, but I only have pets so that's what I use. Would I be able to love a lot of pets and not diminish one for another? Sure! But I only have enough time, money, and energy for my 1 cat right now. And honestly, she fulfills that need for pet love in my life so I don't even feel a need to get more, y'know? Romantic relationships are not pets. Or even like familial love of children. Yet we always hea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 02:51 AM
46

They always chant love is InFiNiTe and every relationship is ~different~. Bullshit. There are 24 hours in a day. If these people have jobs and responsibilities, there's no way they have enough time to give proper attention to more than one. It's also weird how they think open and honest communication is exclusive to their community. It is indeed very cult-like and a haven for narcs to obtain never-ending narc supply. Any time someone has a need that isn't getting fulfilled, they can gaslight the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 11:44 PM
6

Ugh it sickens me how ubiquitous this story is. In my friend group, one of these dudes quit his job without another lined up months ago and has been bumming off his gf. Of course no one calls him a golddigger. Someone make it make sense
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 06:37 PM
9

My ex owes me for all the rent I paid on his behalf while he was in school and the therapy I needed afterward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 05:16 PM
7

This sounds like the life. I'm trying to break into the design field and am actively looking to move cities. May I ask which city or general area you're in?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 03:29 PM
24

Yep. We all know what this is referencing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 02:58 PM
6

Compulsory heterosexuality. Women are socialized to be heterosexual in American culture (I can't speak to others but I'm sure most cultures do it). Later in life they uncover that they are in fact either bi or lesbian. I for one have felt deep shame and like something is wrong because I had attraction to women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 04:48 PM
10

The comments about it being her loss.... Yeah she lost out. Lost out on a crazy man and his followers that act like he's god. Good for her! People are applauding him and shitting on her (no pun intended), but all I see is a dude who doxxed someone all because of his dick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 08:27 PM
27

Voice is huge for me. I can't be attracted to nasally or high pitched voices. I had to call something off because he had that inflection that some gay men have and I just couldn't. I'm not attracted to bald men either. It's too military meets gym bro for me. And it reminds me too much of an egg...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 11:53 PM
20

Love this post. Throw comphet into the mix and it adds another layer to the discussion. A lot of "cishet" woman were socialized into it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 11:19 PM
26

You should self-examine why you feel the need to make that comment on here and if you do the same against male celebs. You and others try to cancel her over not agreeing with one stance when male celebs not only say but do a ton more horrible things. I don't consent to being called a vagina haver. Respect my choice and stop shaming people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 11:00 PM
44

Same. The right thing to do is post a poll asking the community our thoughts. Instead I feel like they unilaterally made the decision. I don't like that. It also feels really anti-lgbt? Like we're not all hetero here. Some of us LGBT women like being here because even though we may not date men or prefer women if we're bi, we all have to deal with men and their shit as women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 01:43 PM
103

They used characters from the animated show Korra, but you're right tho. Someone who sits on their butt in front of a screen is not putting in the effort it takes to look that good. Their hygeine is usually atrocious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 09:47 AM
25

Yesss. Love Rihanna ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 09:34 PM
19

Right?? Just yesterday I dressed up in an outfit that makes me feel great and took myself to one of my favorite restaurants. My presence and peace is special to me. Why would I risk a potentionally bad date situation when I can just pay for and enjoy it myself? That's why I'm not into 50/50 anymore. He's not adding anything other than presence, and that's almost always unpreferable
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 02:47 PM
42

I've noticed this within my social and familial circles. Is there a word for it? Maybe survival-digging?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 05:23 AM
7

No I get that, but the people in this thread are wholly incapable of nuance on this topic and are using sweeping generalizations. Someone was literally decrying someone as a LVW for wearing eyeliner. Not to say there aren't situations where women are expected to wear it, but simply liking it for ourselves is not an issue. I don't see much of a difference in playing into it and making choices to line up to be counter-culture to what men like, if that makes sense. It's still centering men's opinio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 05:10 AM
78

The comments were grooossss. They called it cute. An adult man getting blackout drunk the night before his gf's exam (knowing she will have to take care of him) is not cute. Some people were saying it reaffirms he's attracted to her. Uh wtf? So let's say she wasn't there and it was somebody else that he would find attractive. This shows that he would feel them up and move forward with cheating. I'm pming the OP to check out this sub. Rescue mission time
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 02:00 PM
210

I report them for unauthorized sales, they are literally breaking reddit's TOS. If I make a post selling sexual services it would get taken down immediately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 09:05 PM
7

"Come together as a team" aka follow his way only while swallowing your own needs. I'm so over it. Good thing we both got out of our toxic situations and found a community.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 03:21 PM
7

There's actually 2 types of adhd, one is hyper but the other is the "inattentive" type. That's the one that my ex hid behind to get away with doing nothing. "I just don't see the mess" as he plays jenga with the dirty dishes in the sink.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 01:50 PM
12

IME, women with neurodivergent men get gaslit (by everyone including professionals) to enable bad behavior by being told to put their needs last, have no boundaries, et al. It's already a challenge dealing with gender dynamics with neurotypical men. Every bad behavior or lack of working on themselves is seen as a symptom of the neurodivergency and should be overlooked because "they can't help it". Asserting appropriate boundaries is seen as being an unsupportive partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 01:02 PM
20

When the relationship ends in about 5 years, she's going to feel like a fool. I gave up teaching abroad for my ex to finish education and then we would move somewhere together. Guess what happened when he finished? He became a monster and we had to break up. I couldn't get that opportunity back and had nothing to show for the time wasted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 12:54 PM
14

Yep. cough Any time FGM is mentioned they come out of the woodwork.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 07:12 PM
82

"Men should have support too" implies the existence of women having support which we know is not true. For every 1 of these, we have what, 2,000+ of women as the DV victim? Doesn't that make these statistical outliers and therefore not counted? Don't get it wrong, I think all DV should be eradicated, but they shouldn't get more attention being statistical anomalies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 06:22 PM
35

Can this be permanently added somewhere forever? I used to think exactly like the woman in OP. The longer I dated and had guys who didn't like me just go along with it, the more obvious your point became. While there are certainly outliers, as a group, they do have different relationship goals. All I ask is someone prove they genuinely have the same goal as me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 02:01 PM
66

Fortunately LinkedIn lets you hide your network/make it private. Doesn't completely solve the problem but it's still helpful
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 12:24 PM
26

I also reported that dude for karma farming. He is not looking to foster any type of discussion lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 07:26 PM
58

I laughed at that post. It's kinda presumptuous to assume everyone drinks coffee/caffeine. I also don't go for drinks because I don't drink on worknights or with strangers for obvious reasons. Plus drinks cost as much as food a lot of times. One comment that told on himself without realizing it said that lots of first dates gets expensive, so it makes sense. Uh you are quite literally just telling these women they are a number to you in the long line of people. Who feels sexy just being a number…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 07:23 PM
17

In a moment of weakness, I reactivated OLD. Matched with a guy whose profile had substance to it. We had overlap in movies/music/etc taste and he didn't get sexual in messages. It was a nice few dates outside of asking if I wanted to come over on a work night at the end of date 2 (I chalked it up to inexperience). Took turns initiating dates. Date 4, he suggests dinner. I get ready wearing one of my nice dresses and do my hair.. I order water and a <$15 entree. Have a great convo. Waitress bring…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 11:32 PM
8

Have you considered reporting to the ethics board or office or whichever?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 06:19 PM
10

iT's JuSt A pIeCe Of PaPeR!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 06:03 AM
181

This is why the words "dad bod" send me into a rage
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 12:08 AM
42

They can spend money on reddit but a $15 date? PREPOSTEROUS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 12:06 AM
386

It's not surprising. It's all about free speech unless it doesn't line up with their views. What's wild to me is that they think can do an IPO. What investors will invest in a site that hosts snuff, non-consensual porn, and a host of other violent subs directed toward women and children?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 05:50 PM
6

it suddenly makes a whole lot of sense why GC was deleted
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 04:33 AM
12

Besides bringing awareness, I'm personally enrolling in krav maga and conceal carrying. I won't be an easy target
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 06:35 PM
12

And the justice system is not giving any jail.time to the perpetrators. Just releasing them on conditions. ETA; women using self defense is illegal here as well Sickening but believable. I think I heard that it's similar in the UK too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 06:33 PM
11

I've been speaking up outside of FDS about this stuff. Like just not feeling safe anywhere I go. No males ever acknowledge it and the few ladies just chime in to agree. I legit told my close friends that if I'm ever involved in an incident like this, use it as a platform to get attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 06:31 PM
15

Genetics, a need for dominance and control, mental issues, not getting laid? Insecurity and inadequacy? Yes this is what I'm looking for and want conversations to happen around in the mainstream. All we get is they were "depressed". Like excuse me, when I have a bout of depression I cry a lot and don't shower. I don't murder people...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 06:28 PM
9

A sample size of one doesn't negate what I said. And it most certainty does not have any bearing on the fact that this is first and foremost a gender thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 06:26 PM
10

I'm white and I will still speak that white men overwhelmingly do acts like this. I notice that when any non-white person does it, they are presented as terrorists or thugs but when white men do it, they were having a bad day or depressed. I think it's an intersectional thing. Men on average are more prone to violence so we of course will see men of other ethnicities, but white men are particular do it more. I think it's because of a shift in them being used to being the dominant class in the US…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 06:26 PM
7

I stand corrected on ethnicity, though there is definitely still a problem regarding the media and the public's handling of race when these crimes happen. Upon hearing his age, I feel that it would surprise me more to learn that he isn't an incel tbh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 06:20 PM
2

I'm so sorry this happened to you. In addition to yes all men, we need to get the hashtag #stopfemalehate started.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 04:52 PM
9

I dress nice just to do errands so this is tough for me. I'm always the better dressed one. Thinking back, no man has ever bothered to wear anything besides a t-shirt and jeans on any dates with me. Even a button down with jeans shows some modicum of effort. It shows what they think of you imo. Dates on women on the other hand, they always look nice and like they want to be there. I'm not embarrassed to be seen with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 04:46 PM
48

I hope they search his computer and find his incel posts on Reddit. Because without a doubt, this dude found his motivation through incel and porn culture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 12:50 AM
4

I think that happened to me. I had a completely tame post get removed so I told the mods that they weren't abiding by their own rules and asked if it was because one of them didn't agree with my post. They said no and banned me after I called one of them a misogynist for deleting my discussion-relevant post (the post was about buying consent/sex work) I think I know which mod it was too. He frequently plays devil's advocate for men there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 02:03 PM
71

I'm happy about the number of people recognizing the nuance and issues with rhetoric like OP's.But at the same time, I'm angry. I'm angry that OP and people like him get to use false equivalencies and whataboutisms and get 10K+ upvotes and awards. But when women do it or don't load up their posts with disclaimers about notallmen, it's misandry. I'm angry that he thinks fear of mugging is on par with fear of sexual violence including murder. I'm angry that Sarah Everard is not the last woman this…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 07:27 PM
25

As soon as an app hits the market that requires identity verification to cut down on cheaters, criminals, as well as keep people safer, women will flock there and all the big apps will be ghost towns. ETA: I work in tech and write system requirements already professionally. I'm getting into wireframes/prototyping to design user interfaces in my spare time. If anyone has the programming skills and is interested, maybe we can get something going?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 03:37 PM
9

Reason #12858584 why I deleted OLD. I've never met even just one guy who didn't live with family. I'm late 20's. They do it "to save money". Of course they haven't developed any independence skills you obtain when you live alone. They're looking to leech. Fuck off with that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 03:35 PM
16

Uh excuse me. Tinder should be the app for free sex work. It's not fair to expect them to pay. /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 04:40 PM
55

This is something I don't get why it's even a thing. It's like a white person thinking they can get a position of leadership in the NAACP and speak over black people. Or a straight person thinking that they should get to inject their experience anytime a sub for gay people exists. Imagine a thread about coming out, and you have most of the comments or replies start with "Well as a straight person that's not my experience/it's not that bad/we're not all like that/ad nauseam". Hell you could even …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 04:16 PM
5

I'm you almost to a T. The only thing that appeals to me about relationships is the emotional intimacy and non-sexual physical factors like cuddling or being held. I also think there are some activities in life that are best experienced with another person. My issue is like others said, I attract guys with nothing going for themselves looking for a sugar mama or covert narcs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 01:43 PM
4

Yes, this is an excellent way to describe my feelings on the subject. Add in the cases of people faking their way into relationships, sometimes for years, and it's truly a thought-provoking consideration when deciding to have kids or not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 03:56 PM
6

He's not aiming for a second date. He's aiming for sex at the end of the first. Regardless, this isn't the way to get it lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 03:45 PM
10

This happened to me. I had just discovered FDS and learned of the existence of PUA. He was definitely a PUA. I ate my food, had him venmo me, and blocked him when I got home. He talked about himself almost the entire time and showed up late and sweaty/disheveled while I had done my hair and wore a nice outfit. This is why I don't go for 50/50 anymore. Even when wearing a nice button down, they never go to the same effort we do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 03:39 PM
11

This is a whole mood. Even if I wanted them, I wouldn't want them with a man. A child ties you to them irrevocably and people can change drastically even after being good for a long time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 03:04 PM
2

Wish there was a "No" answer. I like pets, but not everyone does. Just because someone doesn't want kids doesn't mean they substitute with pets...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 03:01 PM
1

Yes, but just because that anon said that/is wrong (from your POV), doesn't mean those women are right which is what I'm calling out. I for one think that frumpy is someone who is unattractive, be it physically or in their behavior. It's the way one carries and presents themselves, be it in grooming, dressing not-sloppily, etc. Basically, things that are within someone's control. I know not everyone does, so I'm not going to use that as a defense. My defense lies in that they were the first to c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 09:35 PM
18

How are the wives practicing solidarity by blaming other women for their husbands' actions? They aren't frumpy because they aren't conventionally attractive. Their pickmeisha-ism makes them frumpy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 02:23 PM
12

Makes sense to me, he's the one begging for vagina for the cost of a molten lava cake or something. 😂 People on that sub are dumbasses. It doesn't take an advanced English degree to read between the lines. His other date fell through and OP is the backup girl
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 04:22 PM
3

Right? If their only relation is co-parenting a child, then call them a co-parent. To still call them a partner means there's more there. Saying they cohabitate but there's no sexual relationship sounds like either a DB or low libido from exhaustion raising a young child. He is quite literally putting out an ad for a woman to use as a masturbation tool who has 0 needs, and is unwittingly putting them in the position of affair partner. So fucking gross. If I didn't think all romantic relationship…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 06:20 PM
1

I love to see it 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 02:53 AM
1

This is an incredibly healthy mindset to have. So many people put their lives on hold and don't progress because they're waiting for that hypothetical person. I always thought I'd buy a home with a spouse and we'd work on it together. At 26, I bought one myself and tailor the reno and decor to my exact liking. After Covid I'm going to start taking trips to places I thought I'd explore with a SO. In a way I'm glad I'm not. If we split, those places and memories would be somewhat tainted
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 02:32 AM
3

If he's not cheating (which he 100% is), then why is he calling her his partner? Lol they tell on themselves
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 10:10 PM
78

Omg LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 01:53 AM
824

Must earn less or not work at all, but must also always pay for herself. If she wants a $15 entree, she's a gold digger
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 01:12 AM
9

Your first paragraph.... YES. I thought I was in the clear if they didn't bring it up. Nope. At about the 3-4ish month mark of dating, like a pickme I asked him what we were. He went into a long diatribe about not knowing because he thought we were incompatible longterm. When I asked what he meant, he said he was poly because he "never stopped loving anyone" aka "I'm hung up on my ex(es) and want you to compete with their rose-tinted memory". Love is a verb. If you're cut off from those exes, th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 08:40 PM
109

I've long since thought that dating apps treat woman/access to women as the product. I refuse to make myself a product. Especially since I'm the one investing the time to sift through the shitty algorithm. I run into too damn many married, nOn-MoNoGaMoUs, and cheating people on OLD. It was the dumbest waste of time I've taken part in the last few years. And I have nothing to show for it but cringey stories to tell at parties. There's a reason the guys on there haven't crossed paths with you irl.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 02:10 AM
31

This was so hard for me to accept but once I did, it was freeing. The sexes want entirely separate things and they are at odds with one another. I'm so happy to be bi, because I can trust another woman really likes me for me and not just because I'm a source of sex, food, and labor
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 07:11 PM
31

I know a lot about this topic from my kink days. An actual doctor on FetLife confirmed breath play cannot be done in a completely safe way. There is always a risk. This doctor was interested in kink themselves and had a vested interest and still spoke against this particular kink, so that tells you something. It's too bad Cosmo can't have litigation brought against them if anyone ever got permanently hurt following Cosmo's "advice". Until they have actual health care professionals endorsing the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 05:59 PM
52

Everyone else is correct but I just want to point out... a walk on Valentine's Day weekend? Really? It's cold as shit in a lot of parts of the world and you're not a dog. First dates should be a time he's trying to make his best impression and this is what he went with? Lazy behavior that will only go down from here. Anyway. Yeah he's nutso, run
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 04:09 PM
46

Tell her to replace cannibalism with raping children and maybe she'll get the message. Safe, sane, and consensual are the cornerstones of bdsm. Even if someone consents to participate, it's not safe or sane. Even if it's a "safe" way that only mimics skin (don't ask me for details), it's not sane nor will it ever be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 04:04 PM
10

Yeah this! There's a lot of nuance that's a lot deeper than "I support the right to get attention on my pp for $100" I think that illusion exists because of the proliferation of OF and the subset I mentioned who does it for reasons other than necessity. They and the libfems advertise it as empowerment but what is empowering about the stuff women are forced to do in the 3rd world? :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 04:20 PM
9

He's gaslighting you hard. He's using feminity as an excuse to get what he wants. If you called out his masculinity, how do you think it would go? He wouldn't be beating himself up about how much he loves you or how long you've been together. I mean I don't know him or you, but just from what you've written here, he doesn't appear to respect you. As another person said, don't get caught up in sunk cost. Sometimes things don't work out. Better to cut it off at 2 or 3 years than invest 10+ and sti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 04:06 PM
44

I don't fully agree with #9. Men think supporting sex workers means supporting sex work. Even though they aren't mutually exclusive, many men see them as one in the same. This is why I'm wary of guys who say they support sex workers. They really mean they support the "product" women are providing. They view women as commodities and completely ignore the socioeconomic reasons women turn to sex work. I also don't support sex workers who do it sheerly for attention (meaning they have the privilege …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 03:45 PM
42

The terminology rape by deception needs to spread everywhere. It's rape point blank. In every single dating subreddit as just a normal thing you come across and should put up with in dating
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 03:36 PM
12

You should cancel the bf imo. Your bf should not treat you like a bratty child? You're a queen and should have a bf who treats you as such. Also, the wax was for his benefit. Make no mistake, it was not a gift for you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 03:26 PM
65

This piece of info is all anyone needs to know when it comes to questions like this. If he doesn't behave cheaply with activities and things he likes but he does with you, he doesn't like you. It's clear as day and so sad pickmeishas can't/won't acknowledge it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 04:45 PM
363

It's because not centering a man in your life is considered as hate. When women "hate" men (see definition of hate in first sentence), we avoid them. When men hate women, they hurt them. Of course the oppressive group will get angry when the oppressed group bands together and starts talking about this stuff openly. It's why abusers use isolation tactics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 04:38 PM
1

I have these bookmarked. They're articles but some feature links to sources https://thenextweb.com/tech/2019/09/20/google-thinks-it-wasnt-sexist-to-give-its-voice-assistant-a-female-voice/ https://medium.com/pcmag-access/the-real-reason-voice-assistants-are-female-and-why-it-matters-e99c67b93bde https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/jun/24/the-guardian-view-on-female-voice-assistants-not-ok-google https://www.zdnet.com/article/tech-firms-have-an-obsession-with-female-digital-servants-an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 02:49 AM
9

I read a paper on this. It's definitely insidious, though sadly the average user thinks of it as harmless (if they even notice it at all). The only male AI is IBM Watson who is (unsurprisingly) not subservient. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 03:20 PM
4

Fucking chef's kiss. This is exactly it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 02:38 PM
10

You're totally right. They're trying to solicit sexual services in exchange for money. That makes them Johns. If they're looking for a sugar relationship they're going to have a hard time. They're punching in the salt or splenda daddy class 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 02:39 PM
12

That's a lot of words and punctuation to say "I need validation from women" lol. If they have to go to that length to say they're unbothered, they're pretty bothered. Haha My situation was weird because I'd never matched or spoken a word to him ever. Like dude if I was interested, I would match you on the app. He was too cheap to superlike but still interested enough to stalk me. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 12:30 AM
15

Ooh, do you know which perfume? I'm thinking of getting Bottega Veneta Knot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 09:56 PM
74

I wish I saw this months ago. A guy I had never spoken to found me on different sites and sent me long paragraphs trying to get me to add him. Out of curiosity, I looked into him and found his insta with some disturbing art on it featuring soiled underwear and jacking off to people online. Instantly blocked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 09:25 PM
84

God I hope the poly trend dies. I feel so sorry for them. A poly friend went through a mental health crisis and her fiancee was trying to slide in my DM's. I know a lot of poly people and maybe 2 max are actually ~ethical~
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 09:22 PM
7

It's in the safety guide but it bears repeating. Change your camera settings on your phone to not record location data. I do this with all my photos, no matter how harmless it may seem. It literally saves your coordinates and can be used to trace your home. There are sites around to strip EXIF data but I don't trust uploading things to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 09:08 PM
18

Good for you for sticking up for yourself. Another dimension to this story is the fact that he would be growing his equity while you do not, so how is that "equal"? Homeowners wanting to go 50/50 is one of the worst traps around. He threw around words like equality to manipulate the situation into his favor. He's the true golddigger here. And that's just the monetary aspect. He would want sex on tap and cleaning from you, I'm sure. There was a time a friend might have needed to move in to the ho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 04:08 PM
46

What's really sad is that single people face more challenges trying to adopt on their own. He wasted time she could have been looking for someone just as excited about it as she is. I think this whole thing is ridiculous. Men go on and on about marriage not being worth it and divorce favoring women, but they pull shit like this. Who wants to take bets that he will be on reddit in a few years complaining about divorce rape?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 05:08 PM
116

He will never make it as a UX designer as long as he remains emotionally stunted and void of empathy for anyone other than himself. The high school comment is also a huge red flag. He needs to get over his high school days
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 07:37 PM
11

*shouldn't use it unless it's full. They run us down until we corrode. Then it's time to get a new one
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 01:52 AM
62

Women finding their self worth and guys who actually want to be with them, thus leaving the guys who think they're not good enough for them... we love to see it <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 09:26 PM
2

I can't unsee it haha. I need to power up photoshop when I'm done with work
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 06:06 PM
4

I wonder if these dudes have tracks the fbi can trace somewhere here on reddit and they take action against reddit for hosting it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 02:48 PM
7

He looks like a Forsworn reject from a Skyrim larp LMAO
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 02:38 PM
13

I went through the exact thing you described. It was a nightmare and I was glad to get out. I bought my house by myself and love decorating it the way I want. Despite this, I just can't buy into the idea of a living apart together situation. It feels too FWB-y for me. He gets to have the benefits of my company and time, but doesn't contribute towards it. For example, my hot water heater went out. The guy I was seeing at the time didn't bother to come help fix it. But yet, he would want to go out…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 09:54 PM
171

That is one of the most disgusting posts I've seen in a while. I hope it's fake but stats say otherwise. It's not caregiver burnout. No one can blame him for not being equipped to care for her, but refusing to find proper arrangements or seek help is what makes him an ass. If miracles are real I hope she recovers and finds a wonderful man who cherishes her. I'll probably get banned from that sub for reaming him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 05:46 PM
43

As a CF woman drowing in over 1K likes on dating apps, I'm going to buy myself one just so they can stay mad. There was no mention of being a single mother. I guess because avoiding them is the only semblance of control this loser (thinks) he has. The projection is sad actually
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 10:40 PM
495

Hey now, don't shame him. He just wanted to buy himself a plate of spaghetti and talk about himself in her presence. /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 09:19 PM
2

Exactly. I'm actually surprised at this assumption due to our anti-SW stance. Not all sugarbabies are SW but a lot do have a sexual element
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 08:42 PM
28

Sooo many people claiming we want to be sugar babies when countless threads stress financial independence. I think they're hung up on the 1st day pay thing. It's not about digging gold. It's a way to gauge if someone is really interested in you and you're not just another 1 of 20 dates that week. I used to think it was silly until I experienced it. Cheapness with finances translates into cheapness in affection and time. They yell equality, but only about this. You'll never hear the average male …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 06:39 PM
19

How do they not see their partner sweeping, vacuuming, scrubbing toilets, washing dishes, loading the washing machine, et al? It's one thing if it's a very particular way of doing a chore, but cleaning in general? I just don't buy it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 09:19 PM
21

Why is he getting praised for doing what he already should have been doing? His reaction of fixing his mistake instead of complaining/whining/whatever is not praiseworthy either. This is the bare minimum of being a decent partner and human. He gets applauded when he goes above and beyond, which is not what's happening here. Does he not have eyes that can see a mess? How did he just so easily say sure and then knew exactly what to clean? I know why. He was intentionally letting her handle it and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 08:22 PM
167

I dated a guy for almost 5 years throughout college, paid for more stuff (70% me, 30% him) on the premise he would make up his part after he graduated. As soon as he got an engineering job, he grew emotionally distant/would only talk to me when he wanted sex. He spent a lot of time gaming instead of taking showers or cleaning up after himself. I broke it off, but really he was the one who instigated it with his actions. Never again. Come correct or don't come at all. I'm at a good place now and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 08:01 PM
14

Why did I think it was going to link to this one? https://youtu.be/z6IhNcnLwiw
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 06:17 PM
73

Communication without comprehension skills (and empathy) is useless. I'm sick of seeing "just talk to them" "have you talked to them about it?" "CoMmUnIcAtE", et al, it puts the entire burden of whatever is going on on the person doing the communicating while removing any responsibility of the other person to make a good faith effort to truly understand.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 10:11 PM
67

I'm so glad you linked. I always wondered why their site only marketed towards men despite having women customers and now I see why. These shave clubs are a dime a dozen nowadays, finding another one won't be hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 11:55 PM
13

Unfortunately there are no rules for mods (outside of those not breaking content policy) on any sub, only guidelines. I've reported them for selectively applying sub rules to only certain users but nothing came of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 11:14 PM
104

I love this story. I want to read more before/afters of women taking no shit and living their best lives
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 07:26 PM
4

I also work in tech and can confirm. I make more than lot of them and yet they still have massive chips on their shoulders.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 03:52 PM
6

How dare you dehumanize others /s The mods there mod based on personal opinion and not the rules as written in the sidebar. I've seen some wild stuff fly but some mild stuff absolutely steps on the mod's toes. Because of the biased modding, it's a lot of the blind leading the blind there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 09:32 PM
17

Even if the ages are a typo which I don't believe because the numbers aren't near each other at all, look at this little gem (screenshot in case he edits/deletes): https://imgur.com/a/2sVcnp7 I hate cheaters, male or female, but something isn't adding up. He admits to being emotionally distant but yet, it's her fault. Riiiighttt.... people jumping to his side are only getting one side of the story. People paint themselves in a positive light so I don't doubt there's more to it. ETA: Listen to ho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 09:30 PM
18

This right here is why I don't ask men out. I used to roll my eyes and say things like "it's 2020, women can ask too!" Until I realized we operate differently. I'll ask women out because the chance they'll say yes and not mean it is so much lower
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 04:31 PM
29

Aren't they breaking the rules of reddit by encouraging brigading?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 09:04 PM
69

Key word being successful suicides. Women attempt more, but don't use as deadly force and therefore fail. But I forgot, stats only matter when they're cherrypicked... A lot of this is due to men hurting other men and patriarchy that equates emotions as feminine, everything feminine is bad, and thus discourages men showing emotion. But sure, blame women for that too. *eyeroll*
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 03:35 AM
24

Sad but true. The only homeowners I know in my age bracket (mid-late 20's) right now are other single women and married couples. I had dated a guy a year and half ago who was new to the area at that time and "temporarily" living with family. Well guess what? He's still living with them and trawling dating apps trying to find an independent woman to "date", aka move in with. Who are the gold diggers again?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 11:27 PM
8

Unrelated but I adore (j'adore) your username!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 03:51 PM
7

Overwatch
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 02:31 PM
20

When I read it earlier, no one was calling it assault. I'm banned so I'm pm'd to tell her she was assaulted. She's experiencing a "drop" as well and people telling her she should have said something at the time aren't helping. She's confused because she doesn't think she's allowed to feel bad because of society pushing the "absence of no is yes" mentality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 08:55 PM
6

Yeah I've found this is a Reddit-wide problem. I mostly lurk beauty and piercing subreddits so it's not so bad, but the dating subs are rife with it. I'm not welcome in those communities and will gladly accept a ban. I just posted about this recently here... I got a post that didn't even break any rules removed from DoT. Yet the OP who was obviously baiting with female-targeted posts were left up. Annoyed, I messaged them telling them their sub isn't safe for all genders according to their sideb…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 02:42 PM
29

Fuck this guy. Seriously. He's not sorry he did it, he's sorry he risked his live-in cook/maid. The annoyed tone he uses when describing the 1am crying is sociopathic. His first sentence- "I think she's upset with me" You... think? Why not CoMmUnIcAtE and ask her???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 02:55 AM
9

Same here. Lots of reasons but namely being that I don't like the idea of buying someone's body
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 04:14 PM
21

Got banned from DoT woohoo! It was for the most mundane of posts though. I always thought I'd go out with more bang. The OP was talking about a past visit to a sex worker and I politely explained why potential partners would be turned off. He responded back saying I was slut-shaming him (lol) and made a lot of other sweeping generalizations about women with high body counts in other posts. I said this post was obviously bait/inciting something and that he made the post because he was mad he had …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 02:30 PM
20

Reversed would be even funnier. FDS telling LVM that walks aren't dates and them getting mad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 05:01 AM
24

An option is a 1-star review in the app store... sometimes they respond because they don't want 1 stars
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 04:13 AM
2

Oh my god haha. I don't understand why these guys think they're such hot shit that women are lining up to get no more than a turn with him. Time has shown that women in these arrangements get so much more attention. If I wanted to, I have 4 ENM guys who would jump right now to date me and that's without even looking. 🤷 I can't bring myself to treat people/relationships like pokemon cards or I'd be all over it. I could get a lot out of it if I wasn't ethically against it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 04:39 PM
23

Adding more! Ethically non-monogamous Just ask Not looking for anything serious Love to laugh Laidback
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 11:48 PM
28

Do you mean her views on allowing her husband to cheat on her? I think some of her stuff is good but that is not queen energy...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 03:41 AM
10

It's a gender thing. I worked in retail and men were just as insufferable, if not more so, yet a woman's name became the meme. Now any woman risks being called a Karen while men don't face that same treatment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 05:50 AM
61

She's not even a girlfriend. OP, people get paid to do this (interior designers). Don't give your labor for free. It should be a red flag that he is trying to date while buying a house. I bought a house recently and had time for nothing else. How can he date seriously, hold down a job, and search for/furnish a house? He's not dating seriously, that's how.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 11:05 PM
57

Damn, did we date the same person? I'm not even kidding. I'm glad I figured out early to not bother with dudes like this. I don't teach adults how to not behave like 12 year olds anymore. Guaranteed they use your lessons on another girl while badmouthing you for daring to ask for the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 08:31 PM
42

Nobody should be asking about finances unless they're contributing to said finances 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 09:13 PM
13

Oh hey, I'm aspiring to get into that field. Never thought I'd see someone else in the field here. I'm never going to share my portfolio outside of networking events or LinkedIn. It's just not safe. It's not their business how much you make either wtf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 07:32 PM
19

Like, yes. Nerdier women like me fall into this trap. I play too but I buy a game after everything else is paid. The problem with male gamers is they buy the game first and then worry about everything else. They're usually stingy too. Look at OP. He could easily solve the problem by buying a 2nd chair but he won't. Probably because he wants to be himself another game.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 03:17 AM
40

Exhibit A why you 1. shouldn't be a forever girlfriend/shouldn't procreate with boys who won't marry you and 2. shouldn't date gamers. they always put their hobby first
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 02:24 AM
61

She's chasing validation and self worth from men/marriage. She doesn't need to get married, she needs a therapist. Her standards are incredibly low. It's not just a fumble on the boyfriend's part. A good person who fumbled would have a different reaction to her being upset. Instead, he got mad. Veeeery telling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 05:33 PM
4

Winona Oak - With Myself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 12:10 AM
8

(I'm mid-late 20's for reference)I live in one of the cheapest COL cities in the US and bought my own place, so I expect him to at least rent alone. I'd also be ok with him having a roommate if he owned the house and just wanted to tear down the monthly mortgage payment. I used to be ok with the idea of roommates while renting, but it doesn't give me the chance to 1. see how he lives alone and 2. involves coordinating private time and thus defaulting to my place out of convenience
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 05:13 AM
7

I've never seen a situation where the family members lives in his house, it's always the other way around. He lives in their house. The difference is huge
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 05:09 AM
14

Besides all the other flags translated here by other queens, notice how he keeps pushing the question of what you're looking for. Any lurking newbies- NEVER tell a man first what you're looking for. He will just pretend to be it/looking for the same until he gets sex
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 05:07 AM
1

Glad you got out of there but why make the bed for him? He should do that, it's his bed after all. A HVM would take care of it so his guest doesn't have to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 10:07 PM
3

Yes x1000
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 08:29 PM
114

Bruh a LVM invited me out to tacos, showed up sweaty saying he was just at the gym, and of course he "forgot his wallet". He venmo'd me only the list price of his meal (so minus taxes or his share of the tip). My portion was only $6 and he couldn't even cover that. He had the audacity to ask for a 2nd date. I promptly blocked thanks to FDS!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 02:27 AM
46

Queen serving the smackdown
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 02:24 AM
72

Oh my GOD yes. This 200%. I've noticed every. single. childfree guy is that way because he's a peter pan himself. None chose CF for the reasons I did. I'm over dating but dang if it didn't bother me for a while
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 01:55 AM
53

But yet, it's somehow still women's fault 😒 /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 02:43 PM
29

It's a very rare trait but one that's super important! I've never met a guy who genuinely cared to learn about my interests. I love to listen to the passion in people's voices have when they speak of things they're into. I've gained some new hobbies this way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 12:30 AM
53

Not surprising. Consider it a badge of honor! Take a look at the gender flairs on the mod list. The gender ratio is way skewed towards men and because of that, the sub heavily lifts up male voices and promotes women accepting less than stellar treatment. It's done overtly/slyly though so that they can't get called out on it. I had no idea it was there under the surface until I started reading here. Now I see it clearly. There are so many sex addicts and old predators there mad they can't date 22…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 09:06 PM
3

Yes exactly! Platonic friends are down to go shopping, picnics, and on trips with me. They listen to me and care about my problems. So why do I even need a guy who will have to be dragged to do that stuff and only pretends to listen? I'm not getting anything out of that "relationship" lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 03:40 PM
7

Ooh I'll look her up! I sub to just a few Dainty Diaries (Irish youtuber who focuses on home/decor vids) bestdressed (general lifestyle with a mix of fashion and decor, she's single and has some self-date vids) Lisa Eldridge (makeup but more about technique not constant hauls) gothamista (skincare, focuses on affordability/accessbility) toomuchmouth (makeup, I love her frankness about the whole beauty/makeup culture and brand talks)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 03:31 PM
10

No worry about pregnancy/std's I can listen to music or be as loud as I want, when I want I don't have to waste my money alternating swiping for 2 at drive-thrus I don't have to listen to anyone gaming at 3AM Things stay where I put them. I don't run out of soap, toilet paper, or other consumables as quickly as I would with 2 people. I only do dishes for 1. No waiting around wasting half the day for him to be ready to go somewhere. I go when I want to go I buy myself flowers and presents and don…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 04:47 AM
3

So glad you found your way!!! I think this sub is one of the only places that truly advocates for your best interests.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 04:45 AM
3

Agreed. I don't know why I waste my time there. There's a reason they're unsuccessful past 30. All the mods, women included (one who has a flair about being a foster gf, yikes), let a lot of anti-women stuff fly. I asked a mod why they weren't removing the obvious hate replies on that thread, and they said they would review if it was reported. Like... they don't have eyes and the ability to scroll down and see it? Nah. They see it and likely agree with it. One of the mods pinned a comment with h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 10:37 PM
3

Exactly. It's not logistically possible to be fully committed to 2+ people. It's like they're trying to cram living 2nd, 3rd, 4th lives into this one lifespan.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 10:14 PM
3

Go look at the thread about this in DoT sub. So many boys are seething, and way too many pickmes jumping up to degrade themselves for their internet likes. It's really sad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:49 PM
10

It sounds like you don't own a car/have transport? Then he should suggest a date closer and even offer to cover the Uber/Lyft. You're right not to get into a car with a man you don't know. Keep protecting yourself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 08:16 PM
8

Not that person, but I invested in an electric tea kettle with temp settings. It even has recommendations based on tea type (white, black, etc). It was $60 and so worth it. On most tea boxes/tins, there will be instructions for best temp/time to steep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 08:14 PM
25

But where are the dates and sex they deserve??? It is so hard being a man! :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 06:25 PM
17

I bet he steeped it in lukewarm water and hasn't cleaned that mug in weeks too lol. I can't believe OP said she'd consider giving him a 2nd date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 06:20 PM
4

Y i k e s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 12:18 AM
4

Yep. It should be against this sub's values to gild or award because the money feeds right back into this hellhole
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 03:50 PM
3

They need to take art criticism 101 again to do something about their fragile egos. That's so pathetic 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 12:30 PM
19

Yessss. It's so rare to find one person you actually love, let alone 2+. It's not real. They love what each person does for them but not the person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 12:09 PM
4

I'm glad you commented. Those other posts and the downvotes you got rubbed me the wrong way. It was less about their dating standards and more subtle jabs at anyone with these problems, including fellow women here. My brain doesn't make enough naturally, so I take a pill to level it out so I can be at the same levels as a normal person. It's not a chemical dependency. Calling it that sounds so judgey and uneducated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 08:56 PM
19

I won't date men with ADHD or depression but I'll date women with them. Reason being that women already bear the emotional load in relationships with neurotypical men. Those 2 conditions tip the scales drastically towards me doing almost all the emotional AND physical labor. I dated a man with both and he used them as excuses rather than explanations. He was super late to everything, lost stuff all the time, messy, unable to plan anything or show affection for anything other than his hyperfocus …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 12:48 PM
10

It's a trigger for me too. Even seeing someone identifying themselves as thus makes me feel ill. A few poly people have tried hitting on me and I find it more insulting then being outright rejected. Is it supposed to be flattering that I'm only good enough for a slice of their time? Like no, thanks. I don't find it flattering that you want to add me to your line up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 08:29 PM
15

It's always the types that aren't looking for anything serious too. Calling someone your girlfriend or proposing is too much but bringing a life into the world isn't???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 08:05 PM
62

Pussies can take a pounding unlike their butts... 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 07:18 PM
32

I'm CF but I always roll my eyes when I see "wants something casual" and "wants kids/wants someday" on profiles and you already know they don't have a job or place to support a child. 😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 07:15 PM
5

So happy for you! How many duds did you go through before meeting him and how did you meet? This is all I've ever wanted in a partner yet almost 3 decades and nada. I finally gave up but still love to hear inspiring stories.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 05:09 AM
75

A guy I went to college with recently hit me up on Bumble. I was surprised because less than a year ago I saw him out and about with his wife and their baby. I reached out to her on social media to make sure he wasn't cheating. Turns out they separated in the last month. Not even legally divorced and father to an infant, and he thinks women would be interested in all that comes with that? The self-importance and audacity is unreal. Funny how he's trying to make a move now and not back in college…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 08:51 PM
4

His sloppy basketball shorts and baggy shirt next to her swimsuit makes the pic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 06:58 PM
14

I don't have kids but my dad is the best HVM I know. He will drop anything at a moment's notice, wake up at 1 in the morning without complaint to help me or my sisters. I've locked myself out of the house and had home emergencies like plumbing stuff and he is ALWAYS there for me. He lent me money interest free to buy a car and then later get the A/C fixed. He helped me move and picks up furniture for me. He helps me fix stuff in my house. He wants me to have a better life than he did growing up.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 05:51 PM
51

I see it like women are treated like the product and men are the customer as gross as it sounds. 100% agreed that they're designed to keep all of us single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 05:38 PM
33

This. He could get removable contact paper for walls that look better than cement blocks, a large area rug (used at a 2nd hand store), and some command strips + a curtain. To really make it look better he can keep an eye out for a headboard and chest of drawers on curbsides. He can even make a nice headboard using wooden crates with a bonus storage if he looked on Pinterest. I've furnished for under $200 before. It's all about effort and how much he cares.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 02:46 AM
8

Same here, his reply was an excuse that showed what he thought of me (and we were together 5 years) Spending $50+ didn't mean anything to him when it was a new video game. Like an idiot, I supported him in his hobby and even bought a few because unlike him I show my appreciation. Played me like a damn fool. I won't spend money like that on a guy again unless he's my husband and does the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 02:35 PM
21

What's terrifying about this is NextDoor displays enough information to make you findable. Iirc by default, it displays the street name and your name. That's all they need to search public records to see who owns the house and find you. NextDoor doesn't take safety seriously. Creepy men can use it to stalk women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 02:06 PM
63

Yaaasss treat yo self! My dumb ass ex *never* got me flowers. I cOmMuNiCaTeD to him multiple times that I wanted some because I like them and they make me feel cared for. He had a lame excuse like "a bouquet is $50 or more". Every time I walk in the grocery store, I laugh when I see the $9 bouquets. Now I treat myself to whatever I want while he's been without a relationship or sex for 2 years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 04:09 AM
72

Normally I'd say don't ignore/don't reply but that is straight savage and definitely cuts. Good for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 04:01 AM
6

If most of the movies on his list are mindfucks/have a mindfuck element. I learned this the hard way. He loved movies like The Game or Eyes Wide Shut.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 12:42 AM
3

It's hilarious because women are a larger market segment so advertisers would love to get our attention meaning more ad dollars. The people who run this site are jokes as business people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 01:54 AM
5

The best thing to do is hit them in the wallets. Contact/leave reviews for the companies you see advertising here and tell them they endorse the rape/violence subs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 01:52 AM
3

3 times a week is the sweetspot
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 12:55 AM
6

She was on a podcast I was listening to. It was my first exposure to her. She was saying how cheating was not the end of the world. Her example was something like a couple that had been committed for decades and that matters more than the moment of weakness. She basically shamed the person being cheated on "for throwing it all away" when leaving. It's one thing to acknowledge people can recognize others outside the relationship as attractive. It's another to act on it and then think it's ok. The…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 12:49 AM
11

I thought the same thing, good for her! I like how he conveniently didn't mention her past experience being in an abusive relationship in the OP. Shame on that subreddit for taking his side just because he has a penis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 06:47 PM
12

He should have been more specific but I'm in the IT field and system/platform/etc architect is a legitimate title. Architects do different jobs then the software developers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 07:47 PM
40

Build up equity not men who don't care about you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 07:41 PM
8

Yes this is me (demi). I thought everyone was like this until I learned we're in the minority. I'm not asexual but I rarely if ever feel attracted to anyone. I have to intentionally spend a ton of time with them and bond before I feel attraction. Attraction to me is not the same as recognizing someone is objectively good looking. Before I knew this, if someone tells me they're attracted to someone else while with me, it made me think they fostered the bonds in order for that to happen which is c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 10:50 PM
26

I've never dated HVM guy but I have a friend with a HV husband. She used to work long shifts at the clinic and would be really exhausted when she got off work. He got home before her so he would make dinner for them so she didn't have to stress about food. He helped her set up her art studio in their house. When house hunting, he wanted to be sure the house had a room for that too... He's very affectionate to her and makes her feel beautiful when she's down on herself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 10:45 PM
17

I know a lot since I have a lot of nerdy interests and they seem to overlap for some reason. I know 2 happy women total. The unhappy ones are people who are coerced into it, and the happy ones are the people who view relationships as a way to extract what you want from someone. Very narc like. They utilize relationships like tools and treat the people in them as disposable role-fillers. They have different relationships for different things. This one is the bf to go out with. This one is the one…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 09:36 PM
27

I'm an atheist but if I remember correctly, almost all the men in the bible had multiple wives. But of course women were devoted to one man. It was exclusively for misogynists back in the day. Now non-monogamy is for LVM (narcs and men with avoidant attachment) and LVW (pickme's, narc women, women with avoidant attachment). The pickme's who go along with it are so desperate for a scrap of affection that they'll share with as many people as they have to and bounce between folks to get a never end…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 09:12 PM
20

Cut ties and block, no explanation. Don't stand for people talking to you like this, regardless of if they are a stranger, friend, family, or romantic interest. He should be on his best behavior to impress you early on in a relationship. This screams narc to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 02:13 AM
34

I like her music, I wish she would get some self esteem. I bet he steamrolls her on everything
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 02:28 AM
118

I hate to burst her bubble but that heart with the infinity symbol is the logo for polyamory. Gross
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 05:32 AM
8

This rubbed me the wrong way because calling it rare invalidates OP's feelings about this very real thing. It's also not that rare, there's often stories in the media about women being murdered by strangers. Sometimes Uber drivers, while out for a jog, and in dating for example. They should have allowed this to stay up for more people to discuss. It's weird the only things allowed to stay up are posts agreeing with the mod and posts saying women should be more careful while conveniently not sayi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 09:18 PM
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