flinderdude Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
24	Realizing some thing about my mother in my late 40s.		flinderdude	/r/Divorce_Men	06/09/23 03:30 AM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
9	What is a reason that will stop you from remarrying? I’ve been in several relationships with beautiful smart women. I’m attracted to beautiful, smart women, but beautiful smart women are very difficult to live with day in and day out. I’d say I’m happy 90% of the time not pursuing relationship anymore. I have a nine-year-old daughter and she’s amazing on her own. We have a great time.	/r/Divorce_Men	25/06/24 11:09 PM
1	Wow! Told my wife I’m done last night… I agree with you and think you have an airtight case. I think it sounds like she wants you to leave. To me, number six is a huge deal.	/r/Divorce_Men	14/06/24 12:37 PM
4	Wow! Told my wife I’m done last night… Airtight case holy smokes	/r/Divorce_Men	13/06/24 08:27 PM
1	Her career is tricking men to marry her, then soon after she divorces them and takes everything. Not sure of the arrangement on her current house, but we went 50-50. She had really good equity from the house they sold from the first guy. I don’t think she has much in savings, it’s all tied up in home equity, so this is her Savings strategy. Regardless, now she’s in her third big house, and has somebody to split the house payment with, or maybe even go 75-25. I think it’s like finding a rich roommate so you can live with wealthy people. That’s what she does.	/r/Divorce_Men	12/06/24 01:48 AM
11	Her career is tricking men to marry her, then soon after she divorces them and takes everything. These women exist. My daughter’s mom I think tricks guys into buying huge houses with her. She’s currently buying a house with a doctor she’s dating, and I think the house is about $1 million. She can’t afford to live in the million dollar neighborhoods, but she gets us men to go in on a house together. She did it with three guys now, married to none of them. Then I think her strategy is to move in with the guy, treat him terribly so he leaves then she keeps the house. This doctor she’s dating i…	/r/Divorce_Men	10/06/24 10:04 PM
17	How do I know its time for a divorce? One element I would take a good hard look at is how much your wife respects you. If there’s a large amount of contempt for you and disrespect, it’s in my opinion, difficult to come back from that.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/05/24 10:57 AM
6	Red flags I was in a relationship with my daughter’s mom for about 3 years, and she got pregnant. I don’t think she asked me a question about myself until after I had moved out.	/r/Divorce_Men	24/05/24 12:43 AM
8	Disrespect Well, all we have to go by is what you are saying here OP, but this sounds pretty common. What you are asking about is called contempt, and it is the number one predictor of divorce by the Gottman Institute. I’ve been in many relationships in my life, and I find that women who actually respect and want to be in their partners lives, treat them nicely, and ones that aren’t really happy with the partner they chose treat them with contempt. It’s that simple. Women can be happy if they are happy, bu…	/r/Divorce_Men	23/05/24 02:19 PM
7	Tomorrow is one week since I left... And I feel more guilty than ever She wants you to feel exactly as you’re feeling right now. That’s what the tears do, man, they cause you to second-guess yourself. They literally weaken you. There are literally chemicals in women’s tears. Look it up. Stay strong brother. Work on yourself, get stronger, lift weights, read more books, talk to more people. Be a better dude and just keep trucking along in life. Go do the things you want to do now, don’t wait five years to do them.	/r/Divorce_Men	14/05/24 02:39 AM
1	Where did you move out to? Oh we’ve discussed for years	/r/Divorce_Men	24/03/24 11:05 PM
3	Where did you move out to? I moved within 1 mile of where my daughter is. Makes it so much easier when coparenting. In fact, her mom is moving next year and I’m going to try to move very close to where she will be moving to. It’s all about my daughter now.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/03/24 02:09 AM
14	How long have you guys stayed single? Oh I’m the same way. Late 40s. I’ve pretty much given up, not because I’ve given up on love or whatever, just I’ve given up thinking I will meet someone that will fit into my life and improve it. I have a pretty darn good life with my daughter and my job and my friends. I can’t imagine a woman coming in and making a net overall positive improvement. I’d have to sacrifice some thing, and it would not be fun. That’s probably a theme of my dating life as a whole is I have never found a woman who co…	/r/Divorce_Men	04/03/24 07:50 PM
6	If you're a good person and got married, how did it feel when your marriage broke down? Did you ever wonder as to where you went wrong, and why God made you meet the person that you ended up marrying? How did you reconcile these events whilst still believing that God still has a plan for everything? I’ve had a couple unsuccessful relationships in the past, but only one was a marriage. It was really a stupid thing on my part. Looking back, we weren’t compatible, but I think I tried to use logic as to why I should get married. My age, her circumstances, etc. Not sure I ascribe to “everything happens for a reason.” I think Men should learn from every mistake and situation that happens to them. If you don’t learn from what happens to you, you don’t evolve and progress. I’m in my late 40s now, u…	/r/Divorce_Men	28/01/24 12:27 PM
8	The things people say to single dads. I’ve been complemented that I am a great dad, when I am out with my eight-year-old daughter, because I actually talk to her and we have conversations. The bar is low for us, but I know I speak for many single dads when I say that I don’t feel naturally Good at parenting by myself 24 hours a day.	/r/Divorce_Men	24/12/23 10:15 PM
2	Separated for a 5 days Ironically, the only way to get her back is to ignore her, be a great father, work on yourself and get things going for you. It literally cannot happen any other way, so just do that. It’s hard, but it gets easier, especially when you start improving yourself and doing things you’ve always wanted to do without her. She wants you to do that actually.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/11/23 12:45 AM
3	Curious Yes, once you truly let go with the other person, your behavior really changes. Your ex will notice your behavior change and make her want you more. It’s not obviously a guarantee that she comes back, but the likelihood she comes back is much greater if you actually let her go. God really does not want anyone to get together I have been convinced.	/r/Divorce_Men	14/09/23 01:29 PM
2	Did anyone here have a relatively painless divorce? Edit. We had no kids together, we were married for a short time, and her demands were relatively reasonable. No sense in pushing back to delay things. I’m 100% glad I did what I did because the feeling I took from not nitpicking dollar amounts was extremely powerful to me. of course I could have negotiated dollars here and there, but I came out of it feeling like I had won.	/r/Divorce_Men	08/09/23 08:38 AM
4	Did anyone here have a relatively painless divorce? My break up was pretty traumatic, but the divorce part was pretty painless, in that I just literally gave her everything she asked for just to speed things up and walk away. Guilt free. That’s my best advice. Give her what she wants. It’s almost like you maintain power afterward by giving her everything she wants and just building it back again yourself.	/r/Divorce_Men	08/09/23 02:29 AM
5	Realizing some thing about my mother in my late 40s. Yes, my dad is a narcissistic a-hole and I always thought my mom was the victim and the cool one, which, by comparison she is. But she has always hated or not been supportive of any woman in my life. I never fully realized it and I wonder what the effect it’s been on me as a person. Maybe it’s a midlife crisis I’m going thru, but I just got back from a trip to visit them and my mom is even more selfish and inflexible than ever before, as she gets older. She just does not really care about others…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/09/23 04:00 AM
2	Joining the club. Thanks for having me Now is the time to work on yourself. Be the dude you always wanted to be. Start working on it ASAP. Develop your routine. What do you need to improve to be an awesome dude?	/r/Divorce_Men	27/08/23 10:34 PM
3	How Do They Turn It Off So Completely? Oh yes giving advice on this topic is definitely not one size fits all but based on what OP types. I’m guessing but I’m sure your situation was different. Women are difficult.	/r/Divorce_Men	26/08/23 01:25 PM
1	How Do They Turn It Off So Completely? You’re asking her to step up and lead the conversation. You should have noticed and been more critical of her behavior, which I bet you weren’t because you were blinded by your own romantic interest. It is funny men are more romantic, and women are more conditional with love. I agree with the above post.	/r/Divorce_Men	26/08/23 01:06 PM
7	How Do They Turn It Off So Completely? Did you get lazy and comfortable? Women pick winners at the finish line, they aren’t necessarily going to support you in your race. Unless you’re in medical school or the NBA draft. You gotta keep your foot on the gas the entire time. No letting up. And women won’t lead the conversations. They want US to do that. They want us to be leaders.	/r/Divorce_Men	26/08/23 01:05 PM
7	It’s official, there’s someone else Take some time to figure out what women really want, and what you could have done better. Don’t listen to what she told you during the marriage, do some reading on what women actually want. They are an enigma to most of us. Take this time to be a better man, and you will find a better woman. You have to do the work to be better, but man, finding a better woman is awesome and will be so thankful all of this happened.	/r/Divorce_Men	26/03/23 08:19 PM
8	Think I’m about to get rinsed. Even if the financial spilt is equitable, you will feel screwed. Just have your lawyer do their best. But just know at the end you will feel like you’ve been screwed. Accept that beforehand to save yourself mental anguish.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/07/19 02:16 PM
4	Did you have a feeling it might not work out during the wedding? Totally knew, but hoped for the best. Got divorced 2 years later. In fact, I knew a few weeks before. My parents debated telling me not to go through with it, but decided to stay quiet thinking I wouldn’t have listened. They were right.	/r/Divorce_Men	18/12/18 12:25 PM
2	The hypocrisy of this is annoying! Wow this thread and subreddit have derailed. Later dudes.	/r/MGTOW	05/08/18 11:29 AM
1	Divorcing Dad Wow, you stayed home but she got them?	/r/Divorce_Men	29/04/18 03:52 AM
3	Wife left... Dude that sucks. Just know that this will pass with time. In the meantime, take time to grieve, as it is normal. When you feel ready, work on yourself. What have you always wanted to do or be? Take ONE step toward that on the day you wake up “ready.” Then the next day take one more small step toward that. No hurry. The journey to improve and expand yourself will cure all this bad feeling. Don’t worry about meeting other women just yet. You want the “improved you” to meet a girl, and she’ll be a …	/r/Divorce_Men	24/03/18 07:45 PM