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flower_vulva Archive

View 4 posts and 353 comments by flower_vulva on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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116

I think beauty pageants absolutely promote the male gaze and the notion that women have to be judged for their beauty instead of their personality, intelligence, and abilities. Even if those aspects are included in the competition, they are ultimately not the main focus. Men are not judged based on their beauty, but on merit. Is there anything more stereotypically, almost cartoonishly objectifying than walking down the catwalk, striking a pose at the end? Such competitions also erode class solid…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/22 10:15 PM
9

Exactly! What I was hinting at was that it's easy to have a skewed view of the world when you're not being proactive. If you isolate yourself for whatever reason, including valid mental health issues, you're going to feel lonely and bitter. Then once you get on the bus or into the store, you can easily get thoughts like "no one cares about me, no one talks to me," when that's an unreasonable thing to expect. People talk to each other elsewhere, in those places that you're not going to because yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 11:33 AM
17

This is an excellent comment 👏🏻 As a woman who's had social anxiety in the past, so that I had a period of my life when I didn't socialize at all, this rings 100% true. There are plenty of adult spaces for socializing, you just have to get over yourself and get active.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 10:40 PM
5

Thank you for explaining further, I see what you mean and I agree :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 10:05 PM
12

I have personally handled this by being open about the good, healing activities I have been doing, instead of the trauma itself. In my experience, whether people see it as a weakness to exploit or a sign of strength through overcoming suffering, is all in how your frame it. I don't mention the bad, which people could use against me, but the good, which shows personal growth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 02:30 AM
14

You can simply type "save" after "reddit" in the link to the post, i.e. https://www.redditsave.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/tjej9i/me_giving_fds_dating_advice_to_my_girls/ and you'll be redirected to a download page :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 02:10 AM
57

While I get what you mean, I think in this case, it's absolutely irrelevant how he treats the new woman. OP's issue is caring too much about what he does and thinks instead of basing her own value independently on who she is. OP, you said you cried because of him many times. For what? Why waste energy on someone who doesn't make your life better? It's that simple. You say you regret spending your young years on this man. You're just 23 with your whole life ahead of you - do you want to waste mor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 02:05 AM
32

Same here, I'm in the 99th percentile, but only my family knows, I never mention it irl because I don't want to seem like an asshole. Obviously IQ is a very narrow measure of a specific skill set, but I do think it measures something significant. I've had issues all my life with seeing more patterns and connections than my friends, and it can get depressing real fast. In my experience, there's a big difference between high-IQ women and men: in men, the high IQ usually comes at the expense of emo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 03:45 PM
56

I think it's the (very dumb) phenomenon of men wanting women to look effortlessly beautiful. He doesn't like seeing "how the sausage gets made." Seeing that hair care actually takes time and effort ruins his illusion and humanizes her, which he hates, because he wants her to stay a beautiful object.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 02:30 PM
156

Imagine being torn down there, everything hurting, your whole body changed, and instead of having a partner to lean on, you have to argue about the name of the child you created and carried and birthed. The man will have a say once he's pushed out a bowling ball through his dick. On that note, I've always suspected that post-partum depression is not only hormonal but in many cases also just a rational reaction to men's scumbag behavior and horribly insensitive labour + post-natal care. Difficult…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/22 08:15 PM
12

I think porn is one of the worst things to happen to women in all of our history I've actually been thinking about this lately as well, and I agree 100%. In general, when it comes to psychological impact, videos are more influential than still images, which are more influential than written words. It's not even 200 years since the invention of the camera. The internet and easily accessible streaming services are even younger than that. I think most people are very naive and in denial about how i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/22 08:03 PM
134

Does anyone else also find porn genuinely traumatizing? Even seeing a scene from porn somewhere on reddit just makes me so viscerally disgusted and horrified, like my brain processes it as a threat. I imagine what kind of hatred and apathy is needed to treat a woman like that, to throw her around and hold her down, see her as just a means to an end, and it just makes me want to vomit. The women are clearly always acting, and it just looks like slavery to me. When I saw porn for the first time at…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 05:40 PM
61

Exactly, such a good point!!! 👏🏻 I would go even further and say that there are no countries in the world that have equality for women. There are no countries in which women own 50% of the land, real estate, or capital. There's no country with 50% of its richest people being women. There's no country where women are 50% in control of the lobbying in the parliament. There's no country, and in fact no economic system, that fairly financially appreciates women's domestic and childcare labour. If no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 02:00 AM
49

Yeah, his one negative experience, even if his gf said outright that she "hates men," (which I doubt she did) doesn't mean that worldwide misandry is a problem that men have to be worried about. Most women are handmaidens & pickmes and value men more than fellow women. Even research shows that both men and women are sexist against women. Moreover, misogyny is so strong in every culture, that internalized misogyny is a thing that virtually every woman has to cope with at one point, but have you e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 01:12 AM
39

😤😤😤🚮🚮🚮🤏🏻🤏🏻🤏🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/22 10:53 PM
225

Lmao the term misandry always makes me laugh 🙄🤣 Like, we can speak about misandry when feminist extremists are shooting up schools just because they can't get laid, when most billionaires, land and property owners are female, when the main world religions have female gods, and when the G20 summit doesn't look like a sausage fest. Before that happens, I will keep on saying that misandry is not a thing 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/22 10:50 PM
38

Yup. The whole mentality of "I'm just taking money from these dumb men" is so short-sighted. She benefits from a higher demand, so she benefits from more men being depraved enough to consume her content, including men like her father. She's feeding the monster. It's a very neoliberal outlook, in which the societal impact doesn't matter, as long as she "gets the bag." While I do feel a little bad for her since she's just 25, this is just karmic justice biting her in the butt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/22 10:44 PM
47

but i looked around and realized so many women were not wearing makeup and looked good, and i didn't think they were ugly without makeup. why did i think that about myself? This is exactly why I don't wear makeup even when I know I'm going to be the only one in some situations - knowing that I might inspire someone like this fills me with determination, haha! Someone needs to be the first one, and then more women may follow as they see that it's ok and they won't be alone 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 01:05 AM
91

Me too! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 No makeup, no body hair removal, four years now. I've never loved my body and face as much as I do now. I used to be so insecure and self-conscious, now I'm not anymore. Once in a blue moon some doubt enters my mind (the marketing is everywhere, it's insane), but then I always get pissed off about it - why should I, when men don't? Hell no. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked "female." - Erin McKean
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 01:01 AM
8

Thank you for this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 10:57 PM
4

Bingo. This is exactly what I wanted to say.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 09:22 PM
121

The only way you can "shape a man into a good partner for other women" is to not tolerate his bullshit 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 09:16 PM
133

This! Is he really treating her better or does she lower her boundaries behind the scenes in a way his ex never did? How much domestic labour does she do? How much negging does she tolerate? How much does she change her style based on what he wants? Is she less educated than him, so that his ego is not bruised and he can talk down to her? All these are important questions to ask.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 09:14 PM
74

I don't agree with this. Even LVMs care about more than those things, for example what she can provide for him in terms of emotional and domestic labor, and the concept of "the one" is false. Look at how many men leave a woman who was "the one" after childbirth or after she gets a better job or education than him. It's a con. A HVM knows he wants to be with you early on, but the key there is commitment to a woman he wants to build a life with, who is compatible with him, not just the way she loo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 09:12 PM
12

Yep. Many people oscillate between being "too emotional" and suppressing their emotions, but those are both immature. There is a middle ground of healthily, maturely working with your emotions. For example, I love strongly and passionately, but rationally, and I have strict boundaries about who is worthy of that love. I open up to people I have vetted. I can share some vulnerability with strangers if it helps us communicate better, but only those vulnerabilities that can't backfire on me. I'm no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 08:31 PM
19

Took the words right out of my mouth regarding the biological clock ticking! That was exactly my first thought when I saw that her bf magically re-emerged after years, in their 30's, waxing poetic about wanting kids. He's going to lovebomb her so that she feels comfortable enough to have kids with him and then pull a switch and be a shitty husband (or dip altogether).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 07:14 PM
15

This! 👏 Remember to protect your energy as much from pickmes as from LVMs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 07:10 PM
42

Nah, I don't think we should aim to be as detached as men. It's not emotionally healthy. What kind of a life does that lead to? If men's lives are any indication, it's empty as hell. Instead we should protect our emotions by ruthless vetting and setting boundaries, the way OP is doing. OP's friend is a classic pickme going against all FDS vetting rules.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 07:07 PM
20

I feel the same way as you. My sisters and mother and grandmother and whole family feel the same way as you. Porn and promiscuity are the OPPOSITE of a healthy sex life. Healthy sex life is built on a foundation of being with someone who is your best friend, someone you connect with deeply, and sex is simply the next step of expressing of how much you love each other. The fact that such a mindset makes many people scoff today is sickening and sad. You should be VERY proud of yourself for being t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 09:30 PM
51

Exactly! We are how everyone should be; their pornified, shallow culture is UNHEALTHY.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 09:05 PM
67

Porn is degrading even if it's not explicitly violent. There's no intimacy, passion, love, and connection with the other person if you're on camera. Notice how the men handle the women even if they're not hurting them: they throw her around, manipulate her body into weird positions, treat her like an object. It's disgusting and dehumanizing. Just thinking about it makes me want to throw up. I've luckily had good sex with a man who wasn't pornsick. It wasn't even remotely similar to porn. He was …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 09:03 PM
1

I get what you mean, and I agree. That being said, I also thought that the word "chores" is used because it's a "chore," as in, it's boring and difficult? But it definitely needs to be viewed as labour / work / a job, because it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 07:45 PM
2

For sure!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 06:01 PM
12

👏👏👏 So well said!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 04:17 PM
10

Good on you for leaving him! My ex showed similar behavior and it was such a turn off even though he was otherwise kind and understanding. I constantly felt like I had more "balls," (as much as I disagree with the use of that word for bravery) than he did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 03:57 PM
13

Exactly. Your last sentence is spot on! They have an infantile morality, under which they give only if it benefits them. A mature moral compass is such that you do what is right (e.g. defending your family or country, reporting a predator, calling out bad behavior) because it's the right thing to do. That's it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 03:52 PM
28

I'm so with you on this, agree wholeheartedly. I'm from Europe (fortunately not Ukraine, but my country has a history of bloody defense against larger empires) and both my mum and dad are strong, capable people with an instinct to defend their family. I am so turned off and disgusted by cowardice. To me, toxic masculinity is viewing the world via the lens of dominance and submission, and being egotistical above everything else. This both leads violent men to war (the need to dominate, exploit, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 03:44 PM
40

Same. What a horrible day to be literate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 03:21 PM
32

THIS!!! Women have always helped during wartime, and their services went largely ignored. It makes no strategic sense to place women into combat positions; you simply can't outrun the biological difference in sheer strength between men and women. The biological advantages that women have over men, such as stronger immunity, better endurance and recovery under moderate stress over a long period of time, are simply not useful during combat situations (but make women more resilient in famine, for e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 03:13 PM
70

I've seen this too and it boils my blood. Women have always helped immensely during wartime, because it turns out that women also want to protect their homeland. But having women on the front lines is just stupidity that ignores biological reality. You put women on the front line against men if you're interested in losing. And perhaps most importantly, why should women fight in man-made wars? Women are more interested in peace-keeping than men, by a huge margin. This current war is also man-made…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 03:05 PM
7

That is fair, and I appreciate your supportive position! I also have a lot of faith in where we're heading as women, despite all the negatives, we do have more power than we've ever had. I really enjoyed reading your post and comments :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 08:07 PM
2

I was also pleasantly surprised! I've scoured the whole internet for obscure feminist content, haha 😅 If you have any recommendations on more websites like it, send them my way!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 08:01 PM
5

Those are all very good and fair points. I agree with you both about how nurture interacts with nature and about how you can still influence plenty of people without having children yourself. Reaching and inspiring as many people as possible is the best thing for a HVW to do regardless of whether she wants to have her own children or not. That being said, familial bonds, especially that of a mother to her child, can be uniquely strong and influential in a way that other societal influence isn't,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 07:59 PM
65

This is exactly what happens when men feel entitled to everything from women. Our time, housekeeping, cooking, child rearing, and now our earnings. This. Note how he didn't mention ANYTHING about household chores division, emotional labour, or anything that she brings into his life, which she obviously does, since he thought "she was so amazing before all this." He only sees money and nothing else. The average man "mooches" off a woman MUCH more than a woman off a man. They simultaneously want w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 07:43 PM
7

I've read that website too, actually! It led me to read more about genetics, which I think everyone should do - it's very eye-opening, and surprisingly feminist in the sense that it really highlights how men are selfish and less important than women even on a microscopic level 🤷🏻‍♀️ It's sad, and very telling, how these things are taboo to discuss (which is why I'm also being vague here).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 07:30 PM
7

Huge yes to your last paragraph! Also, let's push for more research about female-only reproduction (it's already been successfully done in mice, there's no reason why it couldn't be eventually done in humans)!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 07:11 PM
7

I have thankfully secured sterilization Please don't take this the wrong way (I know many people pressure women to be mothers for shitty reasons, please let me explain), but isn't this counterproductive? I've been seeing quite a lot of strong, independent women say that they don't want to have children, and it pains me, because this basically ensures that their genes will not continue. Why not take the option of a sperm donor instead? Sure, you might not know whose sperm it is, but you can selec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 07:04 PM
7

Very well said!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/22 12:46 AM
13

I was about to mention this too! Read my mind 👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/22 12:44 AM
27

This. Just the fact that the US doesn't have a paid maternity leave, and the UK has it ridiculously short, is a crime against humanity. Meanwhile some European countries have 3 years of PAID maternity/paternity leave!! That's the way it should be everywhere!!! Mothers are treated as absolute shit for how they basically create the foundations of humanity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/22 12:42 AM
40

The titties out part made me laugh so hard 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/22 12:37 AM
106

This is definitely a vibe 😂 I'm still salty that Anita Sarkeesian faced so much hate when she made her excellent video series about all these toxic tropes in video games (which I think actually applies to other media/art as well). She talks about the Damsel in Distress trope in this one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 01:29 PM
4

That's an interesting point. Arguably though, there are other parts of the body that are not sexual and are still seen as more "personal" than someone shaking your hand. For example someone stroking your face or the back of your neck or touching your armpit. ETA: But I get what you mean in terms of assault. I think the argument could be made that breasts are sensitive tissue, and so even if they were desexualised, groping them would still be assault on the basis of that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 01:18 PM
3

This is what I think as well. I have small boobs and I'd love it if going braless was seen as ok in professional situations. I just don't get why it's fine for male nipples to be seen through a shirt but if it's female nipples, then it's OUTRAGEOUS, provocative and sexual. Nothing else, just the nipples, and many women are not even that sensitive there (and some men are). It makes no sense. Also seconding the breastfeeding in public without shame, of course.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 01:15 PM
46

I agree with this. While it's satisfying to see exploitative rich people getting scammed, I don't think her motives were good at all based on the interviews with her. I think some people are seeing what they want to see. She definitely isn't some sort of modern Robin Hood and the way she talks about what she did makes that clear. We can criticize the unfair treatment of men vs women who cheat the system without acting like scamming others for selfish gain is a good thing in the first place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 01:10 PM
29

??? Letting a rich person pay for you when they have previously promised to do so is not "exploiting them." Being manipulative is one of the things we point out as toxic in men. I refuse to admire a woman that does the same. she certainly had a gift and probably would have been a successful con artist ... and this is a good thing how????? Her motive was clearly selfish gain for the hell of it, not some sort of an intelligent plan to punish exploitative millionaires.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 01:00 PM
35

That was my first thought! Also should have less hair, lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 12:28 AM
5

I agree that there's no way around it and you have to build that self-worth first, which does take time and a lot of effort. Environment and family definitely play a huge role; in my case I've always had it to some degree and my mother did too, but my sister doesn't have it for some reason. We need more visible women with strong self-worth in media. I think we both are aiming for the same thing in the end and I love that we can discuss things like this on FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 07:36 PM
6

Of course it's a result of brainwashing, but it's still naivety. In other words, women are socialised to be naive, because that makes them easier to exploit for sex, company, unpaid labour, and reproduction. While that is hard to get out of, I'm interested in women getting better and moving forward, not wringing my hands about how difficult it is. It was difficult for suffragettes to get us voting rights, yet they stepped up and did it. There is a line between compassion and infantilization, and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 03:34 PM
43

I get what you mean. Technically, the actual FIRST move is always mutual, such as eye contact, smiling, common activity, body language. It's usually crystal clear whether a woman is interested or not, even before the man explicitly asks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 08:02 PM
25

This is one of my most favourite sentences!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 07:59 PM
29

Exactly this x100!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 07:53 PM
147

Ugh. It's so unattractive when men are scared to make the first move. Honestly, what is there to fear? Someone laughing at you? Oh boo hoo. It's so childish and pathetic. Even I am not scared of making the first move and I'm a small woman. I have approached men in the past and the world didn't end. But as we all know here, it's simply not a good strategy for women. In my experience, men who are scared of making the first move don't see women as all-the-way human and also struggle with having fem…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 07:52 PM
30

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I could have written this post myself, I agree with it 100%. I often hold my tongue because I don't want to be accused of being too harsh towards other women or, and this comes up often, "victim blaming." But it has to be said that naivety is a HUGE problem for many women, I'd even argue it's one of the largest problems preventing women from attaining power in society. And it pains me; I come at it from a point of wanting to see women do better. They project their own goodness onto others…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 07:28 PM
29

Also, I don't know about you, but I can feel the same feeling of being "in love" about some film characters or other imaginary men. It's just a feeling, it doesn't imply anything about behavior. The sort of "love" that actually builds relationships is love as a verb, meaning continuous action showing care, respect, and commitment towards the other person. The sort of love when a man takes care of you when you're ill and shrugs "I do it because I love you." Love as a feeling is meaningless, and u…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 07:23 PM
45

That’s high school shit. This! I have a lot of sympathy for young girls that make these mistakes, but it boggles my mind when adult women, especially above the age of 25, are naive like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 07:14 PM
6

Those are great points! Agree on all accounts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 11:29 AM
35

This!!! Women and men generally do not get depressed or anxious for the same reasons. Also, women tend to internalize their mental health issues so that they don't harm others, whereas men tend to externalize them and not give a shit about who they hurt. Those two are not the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 11:02 PM
26

Thank you 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I'm so sick of that word being used all the time in the mainstream now. It always makes me cringe, especially when women use it to refer to other women, I don't understand what's appealing about "reclaiming" an insult like that. Misogynistic men still use it with vitriol all the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 11:00 PM
13

That might work, but please be careful and have a friend on the phone or nearby just in case. I hope it works out safely, holding my fingers crossed for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 10:52 PM
43

Forget emotional abuse, just him insulting her once is enough of a reason to leave. In my years dating, my exes wouldn't DREAM of insulting me. Can you imagine? I'd dump him right then and there and tell everyone that he's a rude asshole. Emotionally healthy people solve disagreements without using insults.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 10:43 PM
64

Please, get someone else to go with you, ideally a man that you trust, such as a family member. Be careful, because a lot of abusive men escalate when the woman wants to break up and leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 10:39 PM
24

This is emotional abuse. If a man ever insults you ONCE, that's immediate grounds for dumping him. I second the reading recommendation from other posters, and also look into building more respect and love for yourself, first and foremost. Sadly, the world is full of men that would take advantage of you as you are now. Best of luck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 10:36 PM
136

Healthy relationships are built on equal cooperation, NEVER submission and dominance. Men who see the world, and their relationships, through the lens of dominance / being an alpha, and others submitting to them, are the most toxic of all. All sorts of abusive behaviors arise out of that. RUN and never look back. Also, your assertiveness is an essential quality for a strong woman to have - please, please, internalize that, so that you never doubt yourself the way you do at the end of your post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 10:25 PM
119

I understand what you mean, and you have every right to be in the "feeling sorry for myself zone" for a while. It sucks. It does feel like all men are ruined now, and I honestly struggle a lot with feeling deeply sad and disappointed about the state of men today. I'm not sure I'll ever have a fulfilling relationship again, and I'm just in my mid-20's. I have had a long, loving relationship in the past that wasn't infested with porn, but that was when we were "high school sweethearts." Since then…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/22 10:34 PM
231

I just wonder if he also would have cried and been devastated if his porn consumption didn't lead to ED. "Porn addiction" didn't lead to the demise of your relationship. HE caused the demise of your relationship with his conscious choice to beat his dick to artificial, most likely violent, scenes of other people having sex devoid of intimacy. Have you SEEN mainstream porn lately? It's horrifying. If he was so lONelY, he would have sought out online communities to make friends. You have absolutel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/22 09:54 PM
56

Your comment should be way higher. I've been on FDS for a loooooong time (before I made this account) and I remember when it was normal to criticize this behavior very harshly. Way too many women are naive and gullible these days about male nature, much more than they used to be in the past, and that's not a good thing. I was talking about this with my mum the other day and she also pointed out that women back in her day generally understood that having sex early was a NO because, as she said "m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/22 10:17 AM
67

The ridiculous thing is that poetry and meditation used to be male-dominated areas. But once women pick those hobbies up and absolutely conquer them, performing better than men, then all of a sudden it's a feminine hobby that is ridiculous and has no value. Funny how that works 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 08:04 PM
19

Fellow lifting ladies represent!!! 🙋🏻‍♀️💪🏻 Strong muscles are healthy and beautiful 💛
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 08:01 PM
64

I also doubt that it's real, but more importantly, how is this relevant to FDS? I don't see anything to learn here, it's just a whole shitshow. I don't think posts like this are high value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 07:53 PM
27

Lmaooo 🤣 "bring me that fat peepee" goes right on the list of top sentences that I've read on this sub 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 01:21 AM
81

Yeah, I'm doing my computer science degree now and I have to laugh when IT bros or guys programming phone apps compare themselves to data scientists or AI experts 🤣 Bro, you wish your math skills were that good 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 05:28 PM
93

HELL NO. There are ways of complimenting your partner's body sexually without being crude and objectifying about it. It's absolutely normal for a man who is passionate with you to tell you that he likes how you look/smell/taste down there, but said in a loving way during a private moment. Not crudely, negging, and controlling the way you dress. That would be an immediate reason to dump him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 05:23 PM
28

That's such a great way of putting it, I'm stealing that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 08:41 PM
15

Thank you for taking the time to reply as well! You seem like you've thought about this a lot and have a great ability to self-reflect. :) Yeah, that's my frustration with a lot of FDS-minded ladies, that they are able to criticize everything apart from the beauty industry, when that is in my opinion one of the biggest hurdles to the confidence that women need to attain power. But even being FDS-minded is so rare that I often have to make compromises in what I watch, otherwise I wouldn't be watc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 06:18 PM
10

If someone looks tired, they should sleep and not cover it up with a concealer. People are allowed to like what they like. I don’t see why you’re so mad about it. Sorry, this is a libfem take. What you like doesn't exist in a vacuum. Why does half of the population magically like things that take away their resources on the daily? This is basic feminist analysis, read the Beauty Myth or anything by Dworkin. Also, note that no one is taking what you like away. You are the mainstream and are free …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 05:38 PM
12

Of course the industry is trying to market to men, their sole interest is profit. You're proving my point - even after decades of marketing, makeup use by men is still very low. Powerful men have other things to focus on and know that they have the freedom to go makeup-free without being judged.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 05:33 PM
19

Thank you, I appreciate that :) That's an excellent question, sorry for the long comment, I wanted to respond properly and it's a complex topic! I think that giving up the brow products and eye shadow would be a great point to start. Regarding lipstick, the thing with choosing to still use one makeup item is that it tends to be very difficult to stick to just that one item. It's a common phenomenon that makeup and beauty rituals in general are a slippery slope, because they make you overfocus on…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 05:26 PM
121

"She has been phenomenally sane" = "I'm glad that she's been a doormat so that I can use her without consequences" I feel so bad for the woman, but also, she should have yeeted him at the first sign of cheating. He's an entitled manchild. Also, he wants to "win" the other woman back as if she was a trophy. Yeah, he sees women as appliances.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 02:32 PM
27

Come on, do you also think that men need to put on make up in order to not look "tired" for work? Do you see male billionaires wearing makeup to look more competent? You've been groomed by the industry and society to see your own, normal face as not good enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 02:13 PM
44

There's no reclaiming something that was invented with the explicit intent of keeping women too occupied with themselves instead of political engagement and real sources of power. The concept of reclaiming is a libfem take that lacks broader social analysis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 02:10 PM
28

Yes, one of the best things you can do for the environment is to stop wearing makeup. It's so wasteful, and unlike art such as paintings that can last for centuries, makeup gets washed off at the end of the day, needing more and more resources to be produced.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 02:08 PM
45

OP, you're not alone at all. All the points you've made are classic radical feminist analysis. There have been several books written about this, such as the Beauty Myth. In this thread, you will find a lot of women in denial about why they do the things they do, since it's uncomfortable to analyse the conditioning. Frankly, I'm quite surprised at the libfem takes here. But when it comes down to it, performative femininity, which includes makeup, is something that takes time, money, and attention…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 02:05 PM
9

Loving the pod 🙌🏻 Great work, ladies!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 09:41 PM
18

The defeatist mindset that was creeping in was starting to sound like incel stuff. And I get not wanting to date anymore, I really do, but most of us here would rather try to improve our interactions. Same. That defeatist, doomer mentality can then seep into your non-romantic relationships such as with family, coleagues and friends. A lot of the comments didn't seem like a healthy, joyful choice of "i like being alone," but rather very bitter. If I end up being single, it'll be cheerfully so. Al…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 09:39 PM
8

The whole anglosphere has an old and broken political system, but if you tell that to any of them, they usually get mightily offended. In many countries in Europe, you can create a new party from scratch and get voted into the parliament within the same year or two. Macron in France did exactly that with his party. Also, it's not "winner takes it all," but a coalition needs to be formed. So you get many small parties working together, cooperating. That's a fundamentally different political envir…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 09:33 PM
3

Yes 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Great post, exactly what I've been saying for years
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 09:28 PM
9

💕👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 10:01 AM
73

Yup. The very first rule of FDS is to be a high-value woman that has financial independence, so that she has options. This immediately opposes the tradwife lifestyle, because tradwives have very limited options. They can't leave that easily, and so they succumb to the sunk-cost fallacy or lie to themselves that they're just fine, because leaving would not be economically feasible to them. The reason why FDS sometimes seems to criticize libfems more often is because being a libfem is mainstream, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 09:54 AM
11

I agree with everything you said, great comment 🤍 I'm not even ready to date yet (still at uni, building my life), but I understand & respect that this sub is about dating, so I comment about dating / vetting-related things. I love the energy here and the mindset translates into all areas of my life. And if I feel like posting about something else, that's what FLUS is for 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 09:46 AM
63

A lot of you newbies thought that the "ruthless strategist" flair the mod team has is just a cute nickname instead of a promise. You thought. This had me cackling in the best way, that's some Queen Energy right there 👑 Love seeing this sub back, love the ground rules, proud to be here 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 09:41 AM
72

As a fellow European, your comment is exactly how I feel, 100%. Keep rocking, Queen, nuanced thinking is very valuable and rare today. 🤍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 09:37 AM
51

The stats indeed show that most women don't orgasm from casual sex at all. I think that for a lot of those women, it's about the feeling of being validated and wanted, that is, it stems from being self-conscious and craving external validation from a man. Some might also be in denial about the dangers that women face in casual sex, or mistakenly see it as "reclaiming their sexuality," in a libfemmy way. Some women are also sadly pornsick (I have such classmates at uni, it's painful to read their…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 09:33 AM
51

I'm bi. One stereotype of bisexuals is how they are always down to fuck. For me this couldn't be further from the truth. I'm picky af. This is exactly me. I hate the stereotype that bisexuals are promiscuous, it couldn't be further from the truth for me. "Demisexuality" as a term normalizes hookup culture by othering what had been considered healthy human sexuality before. 👏🏻 That's such a good way to put it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 09:27 AM
135

I agree with this stance. I used to call myself demisexual when I was a teenager, but stopped for this very reason. I just kept thinking - if I label myself as outside of the "norm," that means acquiescing to the idea that it's normal (and acceptable) to have casual sex and one-night stands. Such things are common, just like eating junk food and never exercising, but that doesn't mean they're healthy or good. I think the current model of casual sex harms all women, even if they refuse to admit i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 09:24 AM
84

I also wanted to share this but you beat me to it! 😄 This documentary and all the work that Exodus Cry does is so important. I love how they emphasize the new phenomenon of men watching cp and even becoming offenders when they don't actually fall under the definition of a p*dophile. All because men are so susceptible to the addictive escalation in porn. I personally think that women are susceptible to the self-harm escalation in porn - the pipeline from low self-confidence / mental health (for w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 09:09 AM
113

YES!!! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH, LADIES 💕🤍💛 I'm super excited about the "renovation," absolutely on board with all the changes. The Suggestion Sundays and the "no low effort posts" rules are awesome. Believe it or not, expecting people to adhere to our subreddit rules and banning people who fall foul of them or who try to push an alternativeagenda is not exclusive to FDS. This whole paragraph had me CLAPPING 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Exactly what I've been saying. A lot of love to all you mods, I appreciate what you'v…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 08:53 AM
18

Yep, I'm not as worried about these cave-dwellers existing as much as about them reproducing. Which is why FDS is so important, so that women don't give them any attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 10:58 AM
55

Having one's own motivations is a sign of conscious life. Even "simpler" animals such as small fish have their own motivations, emotions, and personalities. So he's literally turned off by life. Calling it a mental deficiency is fair enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 10:54 AM
36

This might be a controversial thing to say, but I think that men like him just use the diagnosis of autism as a free pass to be an asshole and show zero empathy or patience towards other people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 10:40 AM
21

This. I come from a lower-middle class family and really don't feel sorry for women that have the means to do whatever they want and still choose to not only be pickmes, but propagate scrote genes. They could be pioneers of female power, but instead they choose to set a horrible precedent for the less fortunate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 10:27 AM
36

Yeah, having a high income is good, especially if you provide an important service, but when you get above, say 10 million net worth, there's no way to do that and be ethical. The power that you attain with that money over the average person is insane. And being a billionaire when the average wage is the way it is, is worse inequality than in times of feudalism. A man like that must be mentally messed up, and on Elon it even outwardly shows, he looks like a monster.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 10:11 AM
276

There's a lot of men that are turned on by anything they perceive to be "forbidden" or "perverse." These types of men don't have a specific fetish, but rather enjoy anything that is transgressive / taboo / violates boundaries, just like a creep that enjoys wanking it in the parking lot. So you get straight, possibly homophobic, men watching gay porn or even "sissy hypno porn," not because they're gay or bi, but because the perceived transgression turns them on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 10:35 AM
24

This. I'm in my mid-20's and have been active on the Internet for roughly 10 years. Internet culture has been getting disturbingly more extreme this entire time, but especially in the past few years. What used to be only "4chan humor" that was found distasteful or gross elsewhere, is now mainstream "gen z humor," and if you don't find it funny, you're considered uncool or old. It's also frankly very... unintelligent, simplifies things to a harmful level, draws parallels where there are none (lac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 10:13 AM
47

I love love love this episode! One of my favourite ones so far. I especially liked the part that highlighted that we live in a material reality and that females are more valuable in any species. I've been saying that for years and being that type of based got me a lot of hate in other feminist spaces and in real life. It's so refreshing to have that validated. 💕 Thank you so much, ladies, the podcast is my highlight of the week!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 08:14 AM
28

It's not possible to change someone. They can only change themselves, out of their own desire to do so. Explaining, providing empathy, complaining, etc. are all just a waste of women's time and end up falling on deaf ears because the man doesn't want to change. It again boils down to - if he wanted to, he would. Don't date potential. All that matters are his real, physical actions, not his empty words and promises, not what you "see in him," not what's "hidden underneath," and especially not whe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 09:51 AM
8

Thanks, that made me laugh for some reason 🤭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 09:41 AM
59

Yeah. This reminds me of the fact that even if someone asks you to m*rder them, and even signs a contract with you, you'll still be charged for m*rder. The same goes for c*nnibalism. There's an implicit understanding that a person that asks to be m*rdered is not of a sound mind, the perpetrator exploited that, and will continue to exploit other vulnerable people. How is this any different with non-lethal abuse? If a woman asks to be choked, she's clearly not of a sound mind and the person who do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 07:14 PM
108

Feeling respected, appreciated, and listened to are the basics. Then there's casual touches, hugs, snuggles, tickles, little neck kisses, nose kisses, caressing your arm, noticing details about you and praising you, flirty eye contact, ... The options are endless; it's just that most men really don't want to try even a little.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 03:56 PM
15

I'd ship it, but in my experience, the problem with straight ships / fanfiction is that a lot of it is just not FDS-compatible and there's a lot of internalized misogyny in it 😭 But if you have any good fanfics send them my way 😄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 03:47 PM
36

Exactly! I used to get infections so often, even though I wasn't even sexually active at the time, and they stopped immediately when I stopped shaving! The lies 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 03:44 PM
94

This. Gail Dines talks about this as well - there's been a stark increase of offending child abusers that are not actually p*dophiles, but "grew a taste" for cp after real porn wasn't satisfying for them anymore 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 03:41 PM
36

And leg hair! 🦵 I love mine in the summer breeze!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 03:36 PM
84

I was like no one can see my pubic hair on a regular basis so I felt like I needed to make a more obvious statement. Sis, this is an amazing energy, and I'm in this with you 😄✋🏻 I don't shave anything anymore and I've never felt more confident.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 03:34 PM
57

I love this entire post! My confidence also soared through the roof when I stopped shaving! I feel so much more comfortable, mature, and in touch with my sexuality. I also love "imperfections" - I find the current photoshop / facetune culture to be so toxic - I'm not interested in mass-produced plastic dolls or robots, I'm interested in human beings, with all the variations that make them unique 💛
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 03:30 PM
45

he always seemed very respectful of her Yeah, that's what I liked about Harry the most. He just seemed very respectful and kind (I particularly liked his friendship with Luna), he was also nice to animals, was capable of self-reflection, and I thought he'd make a very good father. It's a shame that while a whole generation of girls was inspired by Hermione (me included), boys didn't take Harry as a role model - I guess it's "too much effort" 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 03:19 PM
30

Yeah, I don't think they'd have anything in common. I always thought she'd be intellectually the most compatible with Draco Malfoy, who was also top of the class, and clearly grew to hate violence by the end, but that would require a whole redemption arc in which he'd like... get on his knees and profusely apologize to her for all that he'd done... and also buy her a huge mansion 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 02:39 PM
66

She said Hermione would probably divorce Ron lol That makes sense, can you imagine the lack of intellectual stimulation??? Lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 02:33 PM
5

That reminds me of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ipz3A2PrQl8
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 02:25 PM
15

All the men in Friends were total creepy loser scrotes and the women were so out of their league. I can't watch the show anymore, it just makes me angry, especially the ending where Rachel gave up her dream job 😩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 02:24 PM
19

Yup, that's a great way to create a child that will be rebellious and immoral for the sake of it. Morality needs to be explained rationally and using empathy / emotional intelligence, not through blind religious obedience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 04:27 PM
4

For me, it became harder to stomach when I started living alone 😬 I just became too anxious and it was affecting my work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 04:23 PM
13

This. Even the most radical feminists don't hate men the way men routinely hate women 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 04:22 PM
20

This whole comment is 👌🏻 Exactly my thoughts. I stopped watching true crime because it was driving me insane that they were always blaming the mother while coddling the father, or ignoring that the father was such a shitstain that he left his family (the mother at least tried), and being disproportionately vitriolic towards female perpetrators. The denial about male violence was mind-boggling, as well as the complete disregard for the fact that women who m*rder their small child do so not out of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 04:21 PM
12

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I agree so much on the topic of victim-blaming. I'm not interested in the male-made narrative of "she had it coming because she did X," I'm interested in preventing women and girls from being murdered or abused. And we can't do that if we act like nothing that a woman does to protect herself matters. How defeatist and disempowering is that? There absolutely are so many things that women can do to protect themselves, and FDS has given me so much good advice, for which I'm thankful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 04:08 PM
121

I agree with this 100%. I'm sick of parents completely abdicating all their responsibilities when it comes to raising their children, especially during teenage years. Outside influence and random events happen, of course. But a man that has had basic empathy, decency, and morality instilled in him during his formative years, would NOT go on to become an adult with an incest/pedo/zoophilia porn collection. So I struggle to feel much sympathy for the parents: they let nature take its course withou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 10:37 AM
2

Oh my god your username 🤣😂 amazing 👌🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 07:45 PM
71

THIS. I was genuinely quite surprised the first time I saw the faces of these incel shooters, because I was expecting "incels" to look a lot worse. I've seen such ugly men in my life that got into high positions and had success with women, I mean, just look at the average politician! Incels seem to overfixate on the weirdest issues - I remember there being a whole sub dedicated to "wristcels" who thought they were undateable because they had... wait for it... THIN WRISTS 😂 There's absolutely not…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 02:51 PM
2

Yes, I am hoping for that as well; that's what keeps my positivity about this going. Even mother nature is saying "nope" and the research to create fetuses using eggs only is already there, so... evolution will leave these men behind, and they've got only themselves to blame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 09:25 AM
39

Whoa, that's a really good & succinct way of putting it, I'm totally stealing that if you don't mind 😄👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 06:08 PM
99

Definitely. Men who abuse their power get progressively uglier. They can sometimes get away with it when they're young, but the older they get, the more their true personality shows through their face. I always say that the way their face wrinkles tells a story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 05:47 PM
43

Building people up is for children that you birth. Nobody else. Yes 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 That's an amazing way to put it and I 100% agree. I'll only ever have that sort of responsibility towards my children, no one else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 04:58 PM
74

THIS. It's very unmasculine and infantilizing to need a woman to "build you up," and men know it. In contrast, when a man gets out of that situation using his own discipline, it builds character.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 04:46 PM
124

I'm especially tired of parents that don't teach you anything about relationships because you should "makE MIstAKEs and LEarn frOM theM," when some of these "mistakes" can cost you your mental health, education, career, or even life. Some young girls and women are really naive and simply need to be told some harsh truths before they hurt themselves badly. I know I wish I'd had an older female mentor like that when I was younger. I've learned so much useful info from the older women in this sub 💛
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 04:42 PM
140

His parents really predicted that one 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 04:29 PM
273

She probably felt sorry for him or didn't want to be hurt 😬 He kinda resembles Bolsonaro, except he doesn't even have the money & power to compensate for his tragic face.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 04:28 PM
167

🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢 Not only is what they're saying absolutely disgusting, immoral and selfish, but they also all look 5-10 years older than their actual age. I don't think they even realize how embarrassingly unmasculine and weak this behavior is: their ancestors' dusty dicks are shrinking in their graves with shame. No wonder sperm counts are drastically going down. 🤏🏻👎🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 04:24 PM
13

Oh no they're multiplying!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 04:08 PM
37

There was an interview where the reporter was doubting that she could even encounter so many dangerous men within one year….LOL. Yeah, that always made me laugh. Such denial 🙄 The very fact that there were only SEVEN victims per a whole year, which means one roughly every FIFTY days, shows that she didn't k*ll just any random man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 08:04 AM
125

My heart also goes out to her; I have always found the handling of her case as a prime example of misogyny. She murdered 7 men over the period of A YEAR. The people who think that it's unrealistic that all those men wanted to rape her, are just plain naive or in denial. What type of men would seek out the "services" of a woman who has been so clearly abused? Aren't they a lot more of a risk to wider society than an abused woman? We all know the answer here. It's also supremely stupid that the fa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 07:59 AM
84

Will it get better or worse? I don’t see women going back to the dark ages as long as we unite and keep fighting dark ages patriarchal cults and progressing I agree with this take; I'm fairly optimistic - if you look back in history, we've never been better, ever (in terms of how much power women hold). But in order to keep that, we need women in many different fields, in high positions, not being afraid to stand their ground. We already see a lot of that happening, but it has to get even better…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 02:28 PM
268

Me too. I think women should focus on building their own fortunes, despite fear, despite pressure, despite pushback. We now have more rights and more strength than we have ever had in history. Leave the scrotes behind and let them seethe, we have important shit to do: tech, science, law, politics, finance, healthcare, agriculture... let's go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 02:20 PM
85

What bugs me the most about the comments is this: she was barely an adult when she got into the industry. She did a lot of horrible things. But the entire time, there were men older than her, not only recording the whole thing, but also doing those horrid things to her??? There's plenty of comments saying that she willingly degraded herself, but none pointing out that someone else was doing the degrading, participating in it, and is going to continue doing so with other younger women that come a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 02:14 PM
102

This is what commitment should look like. My sister also had a lot of scarring and stretched skin because of her pregnancy, but her husband is a HVM, too, and they are as loving towards each other as ever 💛
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 01:43 PM
243

Damage, scarring, and change of proportions can definitely happen, including to the vulva. I wouldn't use the argument that it should look pretty much as before - even if a mother's body becomes "disfigured" during childbirth, that's not the point. The point is that no man is a good father/partner/husband if he cares more about his own pleasure than making his wife, who birthed him a child, feel loved. He's selfish. She gave him the biggest gift, biggest sacrifice that she could have, risking he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 01:37 PM
60

I reported them ✋🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 12:51 PM
79

That's what annoyed me as well, like "ethical porn," come oooooon. The naivety and/or denial about these things just has to stop.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 12:50 PM
41

It might - it's definitely better than nothing. I have reported plenty of comments and videos before, some videos got removed or at least age-restricted, and plenty of comments got removed. I just think to myself that if not seeing those comments might prevent a boy from getting radicalized, then I've done the right thing. It seems overwhelming with the size of the manosphere, but as I've said, I think it's better than just idly standing by.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 12:28 PM
15

I died at "do my chin pubes turn you on?" 😂 I just wish we could see more women in Hollywood that are allowed to age exactly the way men are - without botox, without plastic surgery, without fillers - just aging. It's so sad to see older men able to make their full range of expressions, when the older actresses can't even raise their eyebrows or smile properly 😔 ETA: of course many men have work done; just saying that there are definitely men that don't or have way less than the women, and the p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 07:57 PM
2

It does not benefit women to pretend that r*pe is "really just a part of marriage" and deny that marriage is beneficial to women in many countries, providing them with legal protections they so badly need and deserve. We vet in FDS for a reason - marital r*pe rarely happens without previous red flags, you vet harshly for red flags early on and choose ruthlessly who to marry. You choose a HVM to marry, not a LVM/NVM scrote. From your comments, it seems you're defeatist about dating altogether, an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 07:05 PM
27

Yes, women couldn't even open bank accounts by themselves in the past. I'm always so grateful towards the women who fought for our rights 🤍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 04:16 PM
3

I disagree in many ways, but most of all, why are you on a dating subreddit? FDS is clear on marriage. The fact remains that if you want to build any kind of a family or a serious relationship with a man, marriage is the end goal, which protects you in numerous legal ways. If you want to leave, you get a divorce and do so. This is not a debate sub, if you have questions to ask, you might want to ask them in the askFDS sub. ETA: if dating isn't for you, then there's the FLUS sub as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 04:11 PM
82

Exactly. These reversals usually don't work because men are simply not physically intimidated by women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 03:21 PM
6

How is this in any way an FDS stance to take? FDS is staunchly against being a forever-girlfriend. Marriage protects women, their assets, and their unpaid labour, in many countries. There is nothing else apart from marriage that protects women's unpaid contribution - for example Mackenzie Scott or Melinda Gates would not have gotten the money / shares they got upon divorce if they hadn't been married. To say that r*pe is just a part of marriage is so wrong. First-world countries have plenty of m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 03:17 PM
35

The brain's neuroplasticity is remarkable, however, people usually refer to the significant development of the prefrontal cortex when they talk about brain maturation. This is usually by age 25, but recent research also cites age 30.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 02:51 PM
90

Oh I can. I've unfortunately met women like that in real life 😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 02:46 PM
27

I wholeheartedly agree with this, kudos to you. I'm interested in REAL power for women, not sitting around being scared - guess who benefits from that? It's really hard to find like-minded women, but I see that loneliness as part of the battle. 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 02:43 PM
21

If you're on windows, you press the windows button on your keyboard and "." at the same time, this opens up an emoji window 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 11:52 AM
44

His seriously concerned face with that headline is just cracking me up 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 07:01 PM
77

Imagine thinking it's cute to have a closet creature for a boyfriend/father of your kid. That's basically the shitty, dollar-store version of Narnia 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 06:53 PM
282

The fact that he feels comfortable making such a "joke" shows massive DISRESPECT towards her. I've met even religious, conservative, "anti-feminist" old men with more respect towards their wives. My grandma would take out a spatula at the first sign of disrespect about her cooking. She didn't have the choice to leave, but she knew her worth, she respected herself. The video is just showing that the woman unfortunately doesn't respect herself enough to identify when someone else doesn't respect h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 06:50 PM
3

as a lesbian who prefers body hair, hairlessness freaks me out because it reminds me of babies and I'm not into that I'm bi and feel the exact same way. Attraction to women is a large part of my sexuality, so I just can't help wishing more women stopped shaving. I particularly love the film Portrait of a Lady on Fire.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 02:46 PM
2

That's awesome, you have my respect 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 02:41 PM
11

Whoa that's freaking adorable 😍😄 All the best to you both!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 02:36 PM
118

For most men, their performance in the bedroom is directly tied to their ego. Until now, if you asserted any boundaries, they were probably those that he didn't mind accommodating, and so he didn't really have to give up anything that mattered to him. He could use the fact that he accommodated those boundaries to feed his ego: "of course I'll do that for you, see, I am such a good man, I am so attentive in bed!" It wasn't ever about you, your pleasure, and your perspective, but about his ego and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 01:34 PM
301

This. The best orgasms are those when you feel relaxed and safe. How the heck can you feel relaxed when you have to be afraid that asserting your boundaries will break the "intimacy?" Real intimacy withstands pointing out what you dislike, adjustments in the middle of sex, embarrassing moments (like farting - it just happens), bursting out in laughter, etc. The idea of "ruining the moment" is perpetuated to keep women compliant and subservient. If the "intimacy" is that breakable, then there was…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 11:34 AM
9

Oh no, not those noodle arms 😭🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 07:40 AM
15

Me too! It's great to hear I'm not the only one 😄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 06:38 PM
53

If I had a free award left, I'd give it to you. I'm a fit woman despite dealing with some heavy health issues, and it's ridiculous to see young men my age having less muscle definition than me. Of course they have more muscle mass just by virtue of being men, but they're terribly unfit. It's about effort relative to your size, and they put in zero effort. How am I supposed to feel attracted to a man that can't even protect me? What's the point? 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 06:37 PM
12

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I love this post. Encapsulates how I feel about sex perfectly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 05:23 PM
10

Thank you for posting this, she has some other great videos as well! 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 12:15 PM
1

That's the worst thing - that it's still, even in first-world countries, seen as such an "inappropriate" thing to talk about in many places. Especially if you work in a male-dominated field. It just plain sucks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 07:34 AM
55

This is a great post! Integrity and actually going through with your standards is not just attractive in the romantic sphere, but at work and in friendships. In my experience, people respect you more when you do that and f*ck with you less. Sadly, I can imagine that this post is too much for some recovering pickmes that don't want to take accountability. It's hard work, requires some humility, and doesn't give you that dose of instant gratification. I'm still struggling but I know it's worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 08:25 PM
3

Same here, definitely agree!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 08:15 PM
102

It is WELL within our best interest to see that when a man is in in a position of power, or can take advantage of that vulnerability, that he doesn't. This is exactly how I feel about it. A huge part of my vetting process is seeing that the man has integrity, so that when he could abuse his power, and is even tempted or pushed by others to do so, he doesn't, because that would be against what he knows is right. That is a sign of a good man, not one that is good only when it benefits him / when i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 08:05 PM
91

I wholeheartedly agree. I just don't find most of the "protagonists" in mainstream films attractive at all. A lot of them are very aggressive and that just makes me think that they'd be a threat to me in a relationship and have anger issues. Have you seen Paing Takhon? Here he is with a cute cat, with a dog, and with kittens! That's one man that gets me hot and bothered 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 08:01 PM
35

It's a great idea to have such a post every week! Thank you to the mods for making this such an awesome space 🙏🏻💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 07:46 PM
105

I want this energy imprinted into my soul 😄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 07:44 PM
1

Thank you, I appreciate the advice! Ibuprofen doesn't work for me 😭 I also already don't eat any refined oils, so that's great! I eat very healthy, a lot of veggies, lean protein, oats, seeds, olive oil, fruit, probiotic yoghurt, all the good stuff 😊 So I don't think diet is the culprit in my case, but it definitely can be for many women!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 07:43 PM
3

Exactly! Even through my worst pain, I don't exude that kind of negative energy and lack of accountability. I gave it a one-minute look and immediately decided that it doesn't deserve any of my energy, let them seethe 🤷🏻‍♀️😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 07:13 PM
29

The thing is, I've known multiple women with equally painful periods, and they also got checked by multiple gynecologists (I live in a country with very good healthcare), and nothing was found. Some women simply have such painful periods without any underlying health issues (they're also very fit/healthy women, and I am too). I have a really good gyno and she did all that she could; she gave me the painkillers I'm using now, and they do work, they just take time, as I mentioned in the post. But …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 05:21 PM
9

50 knives stabbing at my uterus So relatable 😭 I'm so glad that you have a man like that next to you, every man should be like that! It was lovely to read, I wish you both all the best 🤍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 02:38 PM
2

Thank you, I appreciate the support so much 😭🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 02:33 PM
21

I feel like my body isn’t mine This is a very good way of putting it! I'm just always so bewildered that my body hurts so much for something that's supposedly just a normal part of reproductive health. I also totally agree about the period day at least once per month.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 02:32 PM
10

I was also considering birth control, but I'm apprehensive about the side effects, especially on mental health. I've had very bad reactions to any medication that messed with my brain (which birth control does as well via altering hormonal balance). What has been your experience?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 02:29 PM
14

Oof, on one hand I'm glad that I'm not the only one going through this, on the other hand, I wouldn't wish it upon anyone 😔 You have my absolute solidarity in this, sister 💕 I've also read that it gets better with age, so... maybe in a few years, let's hope? At least until menopause hits, and that'a whole another can of worms 😬 Men really have no idea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 02:25 PM
44

👆🏻 I am 100% behind this. If men experienced even just half of that pain, they'd act like those football players that barely get grazed by someone else's foot and immediately crumble to the ground 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 02:18 PM
36

THIS!!!! 👏🏻 I also keep saying this! I seriously think issues like this are what modern feminism should be focusing on, not the "OnlyFans is EmPOWErING" bullsh*t. There are SO MANY horror stories about women going through various painful things, whether it comes to periods, pregnancy, childbirth, post-partum health issues, chronic pain, autoimmune disorders, etc. that workplaces just don't take seriously enough. Luckily, in some countries, many companies now have more flexible policies, but so m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 02:15 PM
13

That's very helpful, thank you! I'll try that next time. Endometriosis combined with chronic pain sounds absolutely awful, I'm sending you hugs and positive energy 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 02:10 PM
68

Thank you, I hear you, and it's definitely important to keep saying this so that all women know. However, in my case, I got checked and apparently everything's fine and healthy 😭 I am considering going to get checked once again with another gynecologist, though 🤍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 02:08 PM
16

Great episode! I don't have anything to add, just wanted to say that it always cheers me up & motivates me, keep going, Queens 🤍💛💙👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I always also give a like on YouTube to balance out the pissed off scrotes hating on there 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 06:46 PM
0

This is not it. Rather causing yourself self-harm than standing your ground in male spaces is not going to lead us anywhere. We need more women to be in powerful positions, tech, and business, and yes, that means often being the only woman in the room. Of course there's harrassment and sexism, but if you leave, they win (and keep their power).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 10:17 AM
2

You're absolutely right that the culture does a lot of the grooming irrespective of the family. I'd also say that truly good parents counteract that by having empathetic, patient, in-depth discussions with their children, even into adulthood. Sadly, most parents, even if they are "good people" don't know how to parent well. So this creates the situation that you decribed, where a "standard" family isn't enough to fight the influence of society in any meaningful way. Regardless, I'm glad that you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 07:41 AM
4

I'm so glad that you left. I'm sending you internet hugs 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 04:25 PM
14

Exactly. She's not being overdramatic, she's just noticing what's clear to anyone that's got eyes and is not in denial: most men are uuuuuuugly because they refuse to put in the MOST BASIC BAREST EFFORT into themselves. I'm bisexual but I legit thought I'm fully lesbian for a solid year because most men give me the ick. My LV ex wasn't even bad-looking, but when he took photos, he aimed them in such a way that he looked a thousand times uglier. For some reason he thought that looking half-depres…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 12:51 PM
7

Haha, this response made me laugh so much for some reason, thank you 😂🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 12:26 PM
18

I really don't know what happened to straight men. Saaaaame. I watched some documentaries about manners and fashion in the last century. There was some footage from large cities, the cafes, restaurants, and promenades there, and sis, I was shooketh at how well-groomed the men were. ALL of them. There wasn't a single hoodie-clad, sweatpants-swinging, asscrack-showing, crusty scrote in sight. This is of course not a statement on any of the horrible misogyny of those times, just the amount of effor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 12:03 PM
36

Your description of the situation really resonates with me; I haven't had the same job situation as you, but I have been in a similar position with housemates and at school. The painful reality is that usually, the only way to progress from that is to change your environment completely. While I was there, I felt like I was going insane, my sleep was ruined, I got sick all the time and I was just a shadow of myself. All of that resolved overnight when I left. You have to understand that most peop…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 11:42 AM
78

And she completely forgot the teeny tiny detail that the single most damaging thing to your income, career, and retirement savings is having a child too soon. Marrying someone is not anywhere near the huge financial, emotional, and time drain of raising a whole-ass new human being.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 10:33 AM
52

I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that 😥 That workplace sounds very toxic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 10:20 AM
89

Oh my god yes, this is exactly what I keep talking about all the time!!! The constant insane gaslighting that you're oversensitive and asking unreasonably much when you're already diminishing and minimizing yourself into nothingness. You're supposed to take a tiny slice of cake and think of the others while the boy/man can take how much he likes without guilt or shame. I see it in so many women around me, and the curse is that they themselves go on to shame other women and girls for asking for b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 08:23 AM
357

Even sadder is the fact that this brainwashing begins basically from birth if you're born into a LVM/pickme family. My parents made me feel horrible when I asked anything from them. They acted like the tiniest thing was a huge inconvenience and like I was needy, demanding, oversensitive, and a burden. When a girl/woman hasn't even healed from that and enters a relationship, how can she ask for more? So much inner work needs to be done to undo the conditioning of the society and family, just for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 08:07 AM
8

Excellent post!!! This is exactly what's been on my mind with some of the highly upvoted posts lately, it's like you were reading my mind 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Being blunt and growing a spine of steel is so so so important for women - the world won't coddle you, and LVMs will seek to take advantage of you in every area of your life. You need to be able to keep your head on straight, have boundaries, and be ruthless. That trademark FDS bluntness is what drew me to it as opposed to any other female-only space. K…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 09:08 AM
9

There have been tons of posts on this sub saying over and over again that explaining is a waste of your energy and doesn't accomplish anything. He won't understand and you will never get the closure that you need. If he was playing you the fool, he knew what he was doing, what do you think talking to him will achieve? The only talking you can do is tell his friends or family, so that justice is served (and so that he can't lie to them about you and damage your reputation). But when it comes to h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 08:52 AM
12

You should definitely check your partner's phone. Watch this: https://youtu.be/FmMTb2lF7jM?t=1137 ETA: her book is also on the FDS recommended reading list fyi
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 08:19 AM
13

This 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Honestly, how could she expect any high value behavior from a scrote that feels okay with staying with her rent-free??? If he's using her for that, he's using her for many other things, and doesn't respect her. Cheating is just a logical extension of that 🤷🏻‍♀️ As you said, this is a cause for reflection. Based on how she handled it, she isn't doing that. The "call your mum" thing was exactly why he cheated on her in the first place - she mothers him, just like when he doesn't have t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 08:02 AM
13

👏🏻 I agree 100%; I thought the handbook said that we shouldn't be explaining and wasting our time with cheaters?? I'm seeing a lot of posts & comments lately that are getting highly upvoted and are not according to the handbook. I've also seen some of my favourite ruthless strategists getting downvoted and piled on by newbies, especially in the podcast discussion posts. I've been lurking for over a year and I remember the sub being a lot harsher about these things; I'm just worried about the dir…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 07:45 AM
3

I mean yeah, but that's a very low bar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 07:30 AM
3

Same here. I gave her music a fair try, but I just couldn't get over the constant pornified self-sexualization. Combined with the creepy, often violent and disturbing imagery, it's straight out of porn subreddits. The exact same facial expressions, movements, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 02:12 PM
3

I just love his facial expressions; they're so accurate 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 07:05 AM
5

The ones I mentioned were really popular and played on the radio all the time, but that depends on where you're from & what generation you are, I suppose. Why would you go making blanket statements about her music being "crap" when you don't even know her music? 🤷🏻‍♀️ Haha, do you mean metal? I love metal and hard rock as well; that's not opposed to listening to pop at all 🙂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 06:54 AM
27

Come on, not all her songs are like that, not even half. I understand bashing the songs that are, but Avril has had a long career full of really good songs and has done so much to inspire girls. What about Complicated, Head Above Water, Nobody's Home, I'm With You, Losing Grip, Keep Holding On, Innocence...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 07:52 PM
40

That's what I thought as well. I also don't think that it's all entirely about money for the female singers, but that the entire industry grooms them to have a pickme mindset: always be visible, more attractive, more f*ckable than the other pop star. Image how devastating that environment must be for the woman's confidence. The psychology behind it might be an even stronger drive than the desire for money. Her specific label doesn't even have to push her into anything when the brainwashing has a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 07:41 PM
100

Yeah, Avril had some great FDS-aligned songs such as Don't Tell Me (about not letting men pressure you into sleeping with them), He Wasn't (about choosing to leave when a man doesn't make you feel special), I Can Do Better, I Don't Have to Try (basically about being a queen in the relationship)... But then she also had ultra-pickme songs, often even on the same album, such as Sk8er Boi, Girlfriend, Hot,... and sadly those were the more popular ones 😩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 04:11 PM
7

I love going to the gym and asking men to adjust the machines for me (I'm too short). They always puff up their chests like it's manly tall man time and it's just too damn cute lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 02:45 PM
236

aversion to sensual touch Yes!!! A man who's good in bed will touch you in so many different places because he wants to be close to you and "discover" the entirety of you as a person, not just follow a porn script that he's seen. Also, a man that isn't porn-sick will be able to have a good laugh in bed, tease and joke around lightly, for example he might stop what he's doing just to kiss you on the nose or tickle you or something like that - all signs of the fact that he's in the moment, not som…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 02:33 PM
204

This. Even my LVM ex said that he'd feel gross telling me that he wants to fuck me. He would say he wants to make love to me, or simply that he desires me / wants to be close to me. If a man refers to sex as fucking, I pack my bags real quick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 02:05 PM
23

Sis, you have my applause 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 You're so inspiring and I'm so proud of you! I'm personally still in the process of healing (going through some tough inner child work right now), and that's especially why I think it's so important to stop excusing pickme behavior. You can't level up if you can't face what keeps you on your current level, no matter how painful that is. I had the same experience with dating and also making friends - I thought I just had bad luck - nope, it was me attracting those…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 08:15 AM
17

Yes. Men are very "homosocial."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 06:34 AM
95

That lean back crotch presentation was quite the mating ritual. That's a brand new sentence! 😂🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 06:23 AM
43

Pickmes clearly do have "bad pickers," which is why the first step of FDS is to level up and learn how to vet. OP ignored a huge red flag (pestering for nudes), and lowered her standards (she said he wasn't physically attractive). If he had the audacity to pester for nudes, I guarantee you there were more red flags that OP ignored. That's okay, it's a learning process, but he wasn't even a candidate for a HVM. It's not true that "there's nothing good to pick" - that's defeatist, and benefits men…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 06:09 AM
11

It's really not that simple. There are plenty of economic reasons, also specific to the given state, for which women choose to vote conservative. It's not a single-issue thing, and there are millions of conservative women of all races - they really do not all think the same. If we're thinking outside of the US (and the anglosphere), many countries don't even have a "two-party system," but various centrist and mixed parties. The "conservative" label to many people doesn't at all mean being anti-a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 11:01 AM
7

Thank you for doing what you're doing. I agree with everything you've said - it's a very rational, nuanced, and valuable approach, which is so rare these days. Looking forward to the podcast so much 💙
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 10:40 AM
12

I also loved the Disney episode! 💛
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 08:24 PM
3

Seconding the excitement for the true crime pod!!! 🙌🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 08:22 PM
3

I agree 100% with the entire discussion about gender roles! I personally love the FDS approach of redefining useful gender roles that are beneficial for women. This entire episode was awesome and I'm looking forward to the 1000th one 😅💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 04:55 PM
92

Those phrases are downright psychopathic, there's no other way to put it... 🤢😨 I want to be cherished and loved, not treated as a potential murder victim. This is why I think knowing the music that the man listens to is a very important vetting strategy. My LVM ex listened to some shitty post-punk about power and violence. He claimed he didn't "really listen to the lyrics" and that he only cared about the bass guitar, so it didn't matter to him 🙄 I call bullshit on that: I'm 100% positive he wou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 03:44 PM
4

I use viddit.red 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 03:52 PM
21

I swear when you are down people will flood in to put their foot on your throat. This is exactly why you should only talk to people who have their life together, or no one at all. This is so well said and so so important.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 03:44 PM
5

I actually said ewwww out loud, this should have a trigger warning 😨🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 03:37 PM
18

Omg this comment made my day sis 😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 03:29 PM
3

That's my exact thought process - she's overall doing a net positive thing 👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 12:49 PM
5

Seconding this. I am not attracted to the majority of men I meet in real life because they CAN'T DRESS and it's such a major turn off. And the standard for men is so low that it doesn't even take a lot of effort to be stylish!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 09:50 AM
4

Haha, that's what I immediately thought of as well! I am a sunscreen aficionado myself 😅😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 08:19 AM
5

I just love his name. You can mess it up spectacularly, like Benadryl Cucumbersnitch, and everyone still knows who you're talking about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 08:11 AM
8

I like how she goes from "why did we fuck it up?" to "why did you mess it up?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 08:09 AM
44

She's so inspiring! 👑 She looks so much kinder and more humane than the scrote-head Jeff. ETA: The article is unfairly critical of her because she doesn't publicize all her donations. Luckily, the comments are very positive and rightfully saying that the critics should rather focus on someone like Musk who makes ridiculous, wasteful, and even dangerous investments. Mackenzie is doing great. 💛
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 08:01 AM
13

Lmaoooo sis 🤣😂 I am stealing this joke if you don't mind
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 07:57 AM
13

Yes! I would love to be a mother after I've become more stable in my career 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 12:40 PM
5

I absolutely agree that it shouldn't be necessary (and with everything else you said), I'm simply saying that it might help because as far as I know, the sidebar (with the link to the handbook) doesn't show up on mobile?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 08:35 AM
16

This 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Read 👏🏻 The 👏🏻 Handbook 👏🏻 Also, how can a woman be HV if she thinks reading one handbook is too much? A high-value approach is about actively wanting to improve yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 07:55 AM
22

I personally think it might be useful to remind users more often (with a pinned post for example) to read the handbook. With the current influx of users, it's blatantly obvious that most of them haven't even read the basics. They just see a women-only sub for women with standards and that's it, when obviously FDS is much more than that. I've also noticed a lot of posts by women who are seeking advice, when AskFDS is for that, posting about their non-dating life, for which we have FLUS, and also …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 07:50 AM
29

Exactly, I think this is an excellent example of women enforcing their boundaries. FDS mods actually walk the walk, not just talk the talk, and I love that. I have noticed the same attempt to derail and be all doom-and-gloom, which is something I explicitly disliked about the f*mcel/BPF/PPF/GC communities, and I find it to be low value / low vibration. I've made my attempts to steer the conversation the FDS way, but it gets exhausting, so I'm glad that mods are enforcing the rules.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 07:44 AM
17

How does admitting it change the behavior in any way? If he "admits" he can't build you a chair, he still can't build you a chair, sis. That's not HV. Also, many LVMs very often admit their faults, and then stew in their misery. It goes something like "I know I'm such a terrible person, I never help you out, you should leave me because I don't deserve you" and the pickme in the relationship goes all "oh noooo please don't be sad, I didn't mean to make you feel bad, you are good for me ..." And s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 07:35 AM
58

Yeah, this doesn't sound very HV to me. Saying that she "wasn't a great mom" as if it was no big deal? 😬 And isn't knowing how to cook basic adulting? I get the point of the post, but this just doesn't seem right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 07:25 AM
2

I gave him my time, which I wish I could get back, and you're not missing anything, sis 🤷🏻‍♀️😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 08:10 AM
20

OH MY GOD YES He's getting all these accolades for basic insights that women (and other men as well) have been saying for hundreds of years. I'm sick of it tbh 🙄 He's also so damn cynical and pessimistic without offering any solutions or hope, which is SO HELPFUL for mental health in today's society and totally won't make LVMs who revere him even shittier /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 08:09 AM
47

I agree with this. I've also seen the "all men" mindset combined with women lowering their standards, because "all men watch porn so it's unreasonable to want to date one who doesn't." Or "all men watch porn, so I won't date at all." Nah, sis. I've met several men in my life who don't watch it at all, and were even highly disturbed by it. HVM exist. Raise the bar. 📈☝🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 08:02 AM
3

This is awesome, I'm 100% on board! Thank you mods for doing a great job 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 07:18 AM
4

I agree. I think many of the women there used to place too much importance on relationships and what other people think, and so now they swing way too far the other way. I find it reactive and it doesn't solve anything - how can we shape society if we refuse to engage in it? I don't think that helps other women and girls in the long run.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 10:53 AM
-5

Thank you so much! 🤍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 05:54 PM
20

Exactly! I generally don't like how the word "empowering" is overused by libfems, but I truly have found FDS to be empowering. It has helped me take charge of my own life and change it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 05:49 PM
9

The mods made a post that the FAF Fridays are going to be mod-only. The post is here: https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/nx1irz/changes_to_fine_af_friday/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 05:44 PM
58

Yeah, WGTOW seems very hostile to me and they have kind of a total doom-and-gloom depressive outlook which I really don't think is helpful to uplift women at all. What I like about FDS is that it's the only women-only community online that is actually positive and hopeful despite criticizing all the horrible things men do. I think women desperately need that positivity and strength in face of adversity, especially when things get bad, not bitterness and giving up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 04:45 PM
26

I actually miss FAF Fridays! They ended just as I joined (I'd been a long-time lurker) and I was so disappointed because I have a lot of fiiiiine photos to share 😩😄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 04:41 PM
1

Men in general, sure. Most men are LVM/NVM. Which is why we vet. I personally know a HV couple in which the HVM attended the birth and he was very sweet and helpful and made his wife cope better. This of course wouldn't be statistically significant since HVMs are so rare. But the idea itself isn't "libfem trash." The idea of getting pregnant with a LVM that stresses you out in the birthing room is libfem trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 04:20 PM
1

That research paper is great, thank you. I'm not sure though how it's supposed to clash with what I said though? The research shows that most men are a hindrance in the birth room, which isn't a surprise at all, since most men are LVM or NVM. What I meant in my comment was that the types of men that are a hindrance in the birth room should have never reproduced in the first place - that is, the women shouldn't have allowed them into their own bodies (if they were in the position to do so, of cou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 04:16 PM
4

Sis this comment is pure gold lmaoooo 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 07:53 AM
29

Yeah, this is not "disrespectful," this is downright psychopathic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 07:50 AM
32

Please tell me your mum has dumped your dad??? 😩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 07:49 AM
8

Letting them into the delivery room is not a mistake. Letting them into women's bodies in the first place is the mistake.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 07:47 AM
12

Exactly this. I mean, we have to call this stuff out. If he's eating pizza in the delivery room, there were MILLIONS OF RED FLAGS before this 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 but sis ignored all of them AND GAVE THIS SCROTE A CHILD. I am speechless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 07:46 AM
25

Those empty white eyes might just be the cartoonist's style, but they are eerily similar to that vacant pornsick gaze I've seen in many men 😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 07:42 AM
36

I have heard about the phenomenon that you are describing, and I do agree that it matters / that it is a feminist issue. But I maintain that the OP wasn't mocking the women for having naturally high-pitched voices, the way those professors you mention are mocked. It's putting on that voice, sexualizing that voice, that is mocked in the video. I bet she would similarly mock women that do those deep, vocal fry voices on purpose to sexually appeal to men. In fact, it benefits women with high-pitche…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 07:34 AM
78

People are downvoting you because no one is mocking naturally higher-pitched voices. This is about women that put on a high-pitched voice, often with an accompanying "valley girl" or "bimbo" accent as well, to infantilize themselves and appeal to men. There's a really audible difference.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 06:46 AM
2

I'm glad it helped 🤍 Having a lot of rage within you when you're in such a situation in your life is absolutely normal. It would be very helpful if you could find some sort of an outlet for that - I would recommend working out (particularly weight lifting is amazing as an outlet for anger, unparalled by anything else I've tried), or something artistic that's highly expressive, such as singing, painting (something abstract and large), or dancing (just crazily dancing by yourself in your room does…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 07:55 AM
3

Yes to everything that you said. 👏🏻 I feel the exact same way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 07:43 AM
3

The fact that you said that a skill you learned when you were a waitress has served you well, made me giggle. 😄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 07:41 PM
58

Sure, that's likely and none of us know. But that's not mutually exclusive with what I said. She can be a victim at the same time while also harming other girls/women with the music she produces. In fact, this is very common, and most women in mainstream music have done / are doing that. We can feel sorry for her while also criticizing what she's doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 05:28 PM
10

Yes 👏🏻 That's the sort of levelling up we love to see 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 04:55 PM
8

There is a middle strategic ground. It takes time to learn, but it's doable. Just observe people and channel the version of yourself that they resonate best with. I keep recommending her over and over, but Evy Poumpouras has an amazing book about this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 04:45 PM
18

It doesn't matter if they value you or not. Why would you care about their opinion when they're clearly so stupid? Focus on performing well, on doing the job, getting the money, and then levelling up to a better workplace. You can't control how disrespectful they are towards you, but you can control whether it gets to you or not. I recommend this video about becoming more bulletproof to the words of others. Don't let go of that rage, just channel it - the biggest revenge is to lead your best and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 04:43 PM
9

This, 100%. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 04:33 PM
10

I think a potentially better strategy would be for HVW women to be single mothers (using a sperm donor), to increase the number of HVM & HVW. Pickmes won't stop procreating with LVM, but at least the HV genes will get passed on 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 04:32 PM
16

I get what you're saying, but I don't think that OP is denying any of that. The point is that yes, the conditions are bad, yes, it's difficult as hell to get out of them, but what else is there to do but fight? I think women often get stuck in the analysis of why they can't do certain things, instead of getting angry and doing at least something. That's what the suffragettes did, that's what all strong women in the past that fought for our rights did. They had the whole world against them, too. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 04:29 PM
31

The eternal question: Why are men. Just why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 04:20 PM
105

The thing is that the lyrics to that song are so naive (I assume that she wrote them herself): "Try not to abuse your power" ??? Really? You're going to plead with an abuser not to abuse? That's not how that works. "And you swear you didn't know" (about her being underage) Sis, he knew. That's exactly why he was grooming you, and not dating his age. "Will you only feel bad when they find out?" Yes. She's just waaaay too young to handle the industry. Frankly, I don't think anyone should be in the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 04:16 PM
188

It pains me to say, but I'm honestly not surprised at all. In "Bad Guy," she was singing "bruises on my knees for you" and being a full pickme, bragging about seducing another woman's father and stealing her boyfriend. At that point I knew it would escalate 🙁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 04:05 PM
166

I'm sick of this pornified version of "girl fun." I don't know a single girl that behaves that way in real life. It's all a "lesbian orgy fantasy" performance for the male gaze. Look at how the women move in the music video; every move is construed to be gazed at.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 03:58 PM
200

From what I've heard, her parents seem to be the type that "pimp out" their daughter for the money and fame, just like e.g. Britney's parents did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 03:52 PM
10

Omg whyyyy??? Sis has no self-preservation instinct left 😩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 07:29 AM
13

This. People heavily underestimate how much gaming really affects the brain. There's been research showing it can downright disable the prefrontal cortext, which is the centre of emotional regulation and impulse control. In other words, gamer men are incapable of doing anything that requires them to be a mature, responsible human beings, which includes parenting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 07:28 AM
16

Preach it sis! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 04:58 PM
26

Exactly - how is it FDS to keep being with him? She's wasting her time - if he didn't want to please her sexually in the first place, he also doesn't care about her in general within the relationship. Sis should have run a long time ago. This is just being a pickme with extra steps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 11:15 AM
13

This. My rule has always been that I have to come first, and then at least once after. Every. Single. Time. No exceptions. If the encounter isn't leading there from the beginning (which you can clearly see by how he's touching you and whether he's aiming to please you or himself) I pick up my stuff and leave. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 11:10 AM
155

Is it just me or are so many men just completely dissociated from real consequences of their actions? Like things are not real if they're not happening to them, it's like egoism on steroids. "Hahaha, it's just a joke, just a prank, what do you mean you reported me to the police...?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 05:36 PM
30

Pewdiepie is the embodiment of the "it was just a joooooke, you're taking it too seriously" mindset. His content is frankly unintelligent, repetitive, and doesn't contribute anything positive to humanity. Yeah I said it 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 05:32 PM
19

Nooooooooooo 😩 I knew it was too good to be true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 08:36 AM
5

This is awesome! I'm definitely going to sign up and start posting! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 The website looks amazing; I love the design. We need female-only and female-led spaces so badly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 04:33 PM
21

Sis, I snorted with laughter. That must be a brand new sentence. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 04:24 PM
7

Ooh, I didn't know that, that's very interesting, thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 01:34 PM
22

Thank you so much, your comment made my day! 🙏🏻💕 I'm so happy that we have the space here to discuss these topics. I felt so alone and gaslighted about this for years. I'm often angry about all of it but that anger just motivates me to keep being myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 12:49 PM
34

Also consider which men they're targeting for the research. How often do you get asked to participate in research? It's likely that the few porn-free HVM are too busy with their own productive lives to react to emails asking them to partake in porn research. I know there have been surveys conducted about the people from my country or even city, and I was never asked / I never knew such a survey was being done. Of course porn-free men are rare, but their number is definitely non-zero (I personall…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 11:27 AM
63

I don't think it's ever worth it. Porn in its current hardcore form has such a huge negative effect on the brain that a man that watches it regularly is immediately a danger to women in intimate relationships. There are men who don't watch it or watch it very rarely, and it's usually crystal clear from how they physically interact with you. It might be difficult to tell for those women who have never had really good sex with a man who isn't pornsick, but a certain level of intimacy just can't be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 11:23 AM
24

This. Porn affects their brains and recovery takes a loooooooong time, if it's even possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 11:09 AM
25

Same. He actually told me himself, unprompted, that he hated how degrading it was, and that it was clear to him that the women weren't enjoying themselves. (He was a LVM in other ways anyway, so I broke up with him.) There are men like that out there, but they are rare. Regardless, I'd never date a man who watches porn. I'd rather be alone than condone such depravity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 11:08 AM
49

It seems to me that they're not feeling anything when they're typing those things out; their emotional intelligence is below freezing point. When I say or think things, I visualize them, I imagine them. How can you seriously imagine those things they're saying and not feel the need to throw up? They're so desensitized. I've been even noticing a trend of films becoming more violent and depraved, so much so that I have to look up details beforehand and then decide if I want to watch the film. Mids…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 11:02 AM
29

Then let them drown in that pool by themselves. Men who are this depraved are beyond saving.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 10:57 AM
18

Right? This all just seems so inhumane to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 10:56 AM
34

He already sounds like a complete sociopath. I can't imagine being in such a frame of mind that I wouldn't care about an old man potentially dying from drowning, and then somehow recovering from that mindset to become a good person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 10:52 AM
112

Yeah and notice that most of the "feminine" things restrict women's freedoms: Heels? Walk slower / take smaller steps. You can't even run away. Pencil skirts? Take smaller steps and keep your legs together. Unhealthily skinny? You're weak and can't fight back. Botox? Your face muscles are literally paralyzed, so that your range of expressions is limited. Large breast implants? You can't even exercise properly without special bras. Going down the stairs hurts. Makeup? Don't ever touch your face, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 10:44 AM
8

It has helped me with my anxiety personally. However, at the same time, I was also learning to reframe anxiety and stress as helpful signs from my body (just like hunger or sleepiness), not something negative. I managed to cope well with anxiety for the first time in my life like this, and my anxiety used to be severe. I'd greatly recomment The Upside of Stress by Kelly McGonigal and this interview with Evy Poumpouras. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson has also been very useful …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 10:26 AM
3

Same here. I might be unhappy about his reasons for doing so, but I'm still glad he's steering men away from porn. It's a good first step.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 09:03 AM
3

Yeah, I'm glad that men are speaking out agains porn, but it's just so disappointing that they always do so because it has affected them in some way, not because they feel empathy towards women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 07:45 AM
3

You've done an amazing thing for your future today! Don't forget to block him everywhere. You should give us more details so that we can roast him 🔥
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 08:24 PM
7

This is so great! Change happens exactly like this; when people lead by example. I'm sure you're going to break up more couples in the future 😄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 08:19 PM
28

If you haven't listened to the latest FDS podcast, you definitely should! Gail was explaining how she managed to raise her son to be a HVM feminist ally. It's definitely possible, but you have to put a lot of care into raising him, analyzing films you watch together, media you see, from a very early age. Children are smarter than most adults give them credit for, and they can understand a lot if you explain it to them appropriately. Gail also has a webpage specifically for parents, with detailed…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 07:40 PM
33

You don't. Here's what you do instead: you fall in love with yourself, uplift other women, build meaningful things in this world that leave a mark, and then if you want children you go get an IUI (using a sperm donor - sperm banks are strict with who they allow to donate) to pass on those amazing genes, so that your high-value mindset doesn't die out with you. You'll live a fulfilling, purposeful life with no scrotery in it. 👌🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 07:35 PM
6

The best part is that they don't shed because it's actual hair, not fur, and they're hypoallergenic. Plus I love when they have those little top knots with bows and I'm just dying of cuteness overload haha 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 07:28 PM
13

Yeah, that sounds perfectly ordinary, I notice it more when I'm out and about as well! You're good, sis 👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 07:24 PM
56

Think about it this way: if you can't smell the other women in your everyday life, and you're healthy, then you can safely assume that they can't smell you either. We are not that different, we share the same anatomy, you're not an alien species! 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 07:13 PM
21

Well, if you maintain good hygiene (washing with a pH-balanced intimate wash) and you got a checkup with your gynecologist and everything's healthy down there, then I wouldn't worry about it at all. Maybe also try asking someone you trust. I can often smell myself a little on my period; I asked my mum and also my ex about it when I was younger, and they both said that they didn't smell anything and that it's completely normal to be more perceptive to your own scent. In general, people would reac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 07:02 PM
15

Same. I wouldn't be surprised at all if it turned out that the majority of mental health diagnoses in teenage girls and young women are exactly because of misogyny in our society. They might not even be conscious of it, they might simply feel off and miserable "for no reason" and like they can't just be. I know I felt that way, without knowing what it was, for a very long time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 05:19 PM
16

My dad tried to do this but he stopped real quick when I started explaining period poops in great detail lol 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 05:13 PM
60

Exactly. My vagina can push a whole baby through it and my vulva is a perfectly pH-balanced piece of art, but they think their stanky dicks are special lmao 🤏🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 05:11 PM
48

Exactly. Women are the more genetically valuable sex. I ain't chasing nobody.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 04:54 PM
54

Sis that description should have a nsfw tag 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 04:53 PM
70

I'm sick of men having to experience things themselves in order to believe women. That's the opposite of empathy. Empathy is about putting yourself into someone else's shoes, without having to share the same experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 10:59 AM
14

Bidets are the best, especially for when you have a heavy period and like wearing pads, or if you have UTIs. You can quickly wash yourself throughout the day and carry on 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 08:49 AM
14

Ooooh Yorkies are adorable! So much better than men 😄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 08:44 AM
86

Pityfuckism 😂😂😂 I love this sub
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 08:40 AM
14

Just imagine how differently such a movie would influence girls! We'd have a generation so much more likely to be HVW 🥰 We need to infiltrate the animation industry 👀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 08:32 AM
10

I also thought it was a joke at first! It just seemed too much on the nose, especially with the Britney Spears and Paris Hilton documentaries having been released in recent years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 06:53 AM
15

Oh she was definitely groomed - her brother in particular seems very suspicious, and he's dated a woman that looks creepily like Billie. When asked if he'd allow someone else to produce Billie's music, he vehemently refused, saying "she's all mine." The trouble is that those who have been groomed (like Billie), thus being a victim, can then carry on grooming others, thus also becoming the perpetrator. It's sadly a very common pattern. The two are not mutually exclusive, and I think it's importan…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 06:51 AM
106

Oh, definitely. Her latest music video just made me so sad. It's like a male fantasy of a lesbian orgy sleepover. Every single shot is sexualized for the male gaze; she even points at a twerking woman's butt approvingly (and of course it's a woman of color), showing her off like an item at a market 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 07:55 PM
7

I've seen that video essay as well and I love it! Totally agree 100%.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 07:52 PM
18

100% yes to everything you've said 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 06:29 PM
71

It's great that you have the option to do so, but the problem is that in the mainstream media/entertainment/art industry, the two options of "f*ckable / invisible" turn into "f*ckable / a nobody" for women, effectively threatening to end their whole career. In the meantime, men truly have the full range of options from "sexy boyband member" to "just a greasy nerdy dude that still has a great voice so sells out stadiums anyway." Regardless, I do think that the only way forward is for more women t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 05:26 PM
60

I love how she doesn't beat around the bush at all, she says it frankly, the way it is. I think it's desperately needed to do that, just like we do here on FDS. I wouldn't have recovered from being a pickme if I hadn't read/heard those harsh truths!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 05:17 PM
20

I had the same reaction the first time I saw it! I had already seen the original lecture, but the edit with the videos just highlights everything in such an eye-opening way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 05:13 PM
102

Yeah, I hate this obsession with "girlhood." I was already mourning that around age 20. Twenty!!! Then I decided "to hell with it, I am a grown WOMAN, a mature WOMAN, and I will look like it and act like it and embrace the powerful WOMAN energy!!!!" I'm now in my mid-20's, already having some first laugh lines and forehead wrinkles, and I love it. It reminds me that I'm a living person, not a static object. I don't care what anyone else thinks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 01:19 PM
74

I think that simply focusing on being healthy (both physically and mentally/emotionally) does wonders, no need to focus on specific "anti-aging" at all. My mum is 50+, runs half-marathons, and despite her face being all wrinkly, it's those adorable wrinkles that make people love her and give her that "young" spark, so that people guess her age to be way lower. She doesn't worry about aging, she simply lives her life to the fullest and always keeps learning new things, and that is what makes peop…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 01:15 PM
48

She has plenty of videos on YouTube!!! Here are my favourites: - Neo-Liberalism and the Defanging of Feminism (1-hour lecture) - Porn Culture and its effects on the society and violence against women (1-hour lecture) - The Battle Lines between Radfems and (Neo) Libfems around Porn and "Sex Work" (30-minute lecture) - Collective Grooming (a short 5-minute edit about the porn culture, very poignant) - Growing Up in a Pornified Culture (15-minute TED Talk)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 12:46 PM
47

YEEEEEEEEEES I LOVE GAIL DINES 💕 She means SO MUCH TO ME. Her videos of her lectures/presentations on YouTube were pivotal for me to start being proud of who I am as a woman and recognize that it isn't me who's the problem. I had been severely depressed and her videos helped me get so much better. I hope she knows that she'd literally saving lives with the work she does. 💜💛💖 I recommend this video (full lecture) and this video (a short 5-minute edit of one of her lectures) to anyone who's intere…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 12:02 PM
82

At least the fuckbois are nice to look at though. With the nerdboy types, there are zero redeeming qualities I'm afraid 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 07:47 AM
64

Yeah, for how much the show is supposed to be about geeks, the screenplay isn't very... intelligent, let's put it that way. I also second IT Crowd, or anything else written by Graham Linehan (he's also a very important radfem ally).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 07:46 AM
198

I hate that show so much. I will never forgive or forget the scene where Sheldon says that women are less intelligent than men and Marie Curie doesn't count, because she has a "honorary penis." Cue the laugh track 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 07:42 AM
28

Yeah, that Urban Dictionary definition is contradictory. SWERF is an acronym invented by libfems meaning "Sex Worker-Exclusionary Radical Feminist," which literally says that sex workers are excluded, and that the flavor of feminism is radical (i.e. not mainstream, which is liberal). This is obviosly a strawman because radical feminists don't exclude sex workers, they in fact include them by wanting a better life for them and opposing the sex industry. So it doesn't make sense to say that "SWERF…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 03:12 PM
68

Exactly! To my knowledge, there is not a single strand of feminism that is against women in prostitution, only against the industry (the nordic model is often suggested). Prostitution harms women. Women who promote prostitution to girls are promoting self-harm. Imagine if we promoted anything else with such a long-lasting effect on your mental and physical health and career prospects; there'd be an outrage. But if it appeals to dicks and can be branded as "empowering" or "feminine" then it's all…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 03:04 PM
69

"Potentially severely damaging embarrassment and trauma is absolutely worth millions" said a man who has never been severely traumatized 🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 11:40 AM
2

Yeeees 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Awesome job! He's a total scrote and you're going to be able to focus on your life and levelling up so much better without him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 07:31 AM
10

I legit thought I just didn't really like movies and that something was wrong with me. I relate so hard to this!!! When I watched some feminist films (specifically Cleo from 5 to 7 by Agnes Varda) for the first time, I cried, because for the first time, the woman felt real and I finally had someone to relate to on the screen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 07:21 AM
11

Exactly, and no one within the psychiatric field really talks about how you can be depressed and suicidal because of the way women are treated within society. I've been there, I harmed myself so much, I hated feeling like an object. Then I found radical feminism, watched a lot of avant-garde feminist cinema, read books, eventually found FDS... and magically, a big part of my depression went away, because it wasn't anything to be medicated away; it was me rightfully reacting to how shitty the soc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 07:06 AM
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