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fluttering_vowel Archive

View 1 posts and 57 comments by fluttering_vowel on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
10

fluttering_vowel/r/ExRedPill08/04/25 11:04 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

A lot of people settle because they are avoiding being with themselves, and then the relationship ends in a catastrophic way. So even though it looks like many are in a relationship, many of those relationships could be not truly healthy or just settling. I think it’s way better to wait and build your life and sense of self, not come from a needy place or needing any woman to fill that role. It takes longer that way but then it will be a real connection rather than a placeholder. In the meantime…
/r/ExRedPill21/10/25 07:44 AM
2

We tried helping you. There isn’t a definitive cut and dry answer. Many probably don’t think of themselves as “incels” and just think “this is the way women are” “this is the way the world is”
/r/ExRedPill03/10/25 04:13 PM
2

You’re coming from a very extractive approach where it’s all about you and what you’re getting out of it. Not honoring the other people here at all. Why should we give you what you want while you don’t give the bare minimum of respect? I think your ideas of what an adult is are skewed.
/r/ExRedPill03/10/25 03:12 PM
2

You’re not being an adult. Being direct is great, but your comments have been ignorant and disrespectful. His comment was only “useless” because you’re not taking the time to feel into what he actually shared with you. Coming into this group calling them incels and demanding your questions answered the way you want them isn’t the way to go.
/r/ExRedPill03/10/25 01:46 PM
2

His comment was thoughtful and yours is rude. Don’t be so entitled to answers. It is also rude coming into this group calling them incels. Red pill is a better term for what you mean.
/r/ExRedPill03/10/25 04:19 AM
3

I don’t think it has to be something you develop at a young age. Some may develop it at a young age because of mother wounds, or because of being rejected by girls in school. But others may come to red pill after their wife cheated and took the house. Or some other hardship later in life. Red pill isn’t the answer, but their pain is valid. We just need healthier options of support rather than red pill. Red pill gives the illusion of support. And now with red pill content becoming more popular, i…
/r/ExRedPill03/10/25 03:01 AM
1

I hope there are more interesting ones, those also sound not appealing to me either
/r/ExRedPill28/09/25 08:13 AM
1

That’s a great idea! Are there any that you feel more interested in?
/r/ExRedPill28/09/25 07:59 AM
1

Okay, outside of dating -what are your options in general for going forward in your life? What are the different paths you can choose to take?
/r/ExRedPill28/09/25 06:33 AM
1

Honestly, I’m happy that you’re not pursuing OLD because it sucks and is the worst of dating! I don’t use it either. I’m sorry they cause you to feel like you look gross and are pervy. I’m glad you have friends though and aren’t alone in that way
/r/ExRedPill28/09/25 06:29 AM
1

So what are your options right now? You posted here for a reason. Let’s find a path forward that is healthy for your life
/r/ExRedPill28/09/25 06:18 AM
1

I really think you’re just stuck in your mind! There’s a lot more at play than statistics. And you’re right, it is a risk to believe it can one day happen, and to keep your heart open. But the best things require risk and vulnerability! If you give up and choose pessimism, it gives this illusion of having life figured out. I think you might be resisting the unpredictability of life and that we really can’t plan anything. It’s all improv really. Surrender helps.
/r/ExRedPill28/09/25 05:53 AM
1

I wasn’t his first relationship, he dated women in his 30s as well. And with your questions -that’s the thing, we can’t control life. There isn’t a formula. Red pill and pickup artists like to pretend there’s a simple formula but that’s not how life is. It’s wild with lots of unexpected turns. I don’t think we can force outcomes. We can have desires and intentions, but I think there also has to be surrender and an openness to growing through whatever circumstances life brings. I really do hope t…
/r/ExRedPill28/09/25 05:43 AM
1

I think it’s important to have a balance of feeling our pain, emotions, and suffering. Being real with ourselves of how much it hurts, how frustrating it is. Taking time to really feel it in your body more than your mind. Doing all of that, having love and compassion for yourself….but balancing all of this with seeing what resources we do have, what we have to work with, how we can improve our situation even in the tiniest way. How we can make our limitations another paint brush to paint with, r…
/r/ExRedPill28/09/25 05:02 AM
1

I think it’s just a natural response to say when you’re older, thinking about how much has happened within that timeframe! Rather than trying to be infantilizing. You can’t pursue what you’re passionate about as a hobby instead? Or in a way that doesn’t depend on whether or not you’re successful? Is there something else you could be passionate about that isn’t related to a career? Why do you hope they are a dumpster fire? When I was broken up with by someone I was in love with, I was actually ha…
/r/ExRedPill28/09/25 05:00 AM
1

Are the people who say it to you older than you? I'm 30, and so when I hear 23 I think of how many experiences that can be had! but now knowing that you've heard this several times, I see how that can just seem like a cliche. Is there something else in life that you could become passionate about and so fulfilled in that it wouldn't matter whether or not you meet someone? Where meeting the right woman would be just a bonus. oh gotcha! Thanks for the clarification. They are things you notice about…
/r/ExRedPill28/09/25 04:28 AM
1

I upvoted your comment because I don't think people should downvote you for expressing how you feel. They probably are downvoting because they see it as a limiting belief, but you should still be able to express yourself without being downvoted for that. This should be a space where these things can be communicated and worked through without judgment.
/r/ExRedPill28/09/25 03:53 AM
3

That's okay, I understand. Please feel free to argue. Thank you for talking with me about it. 5 years is a long time so that totally makes sense about not wanting any more periods alone. but being 23, you are young! There is still a lot of time to meet the right person, or multiple different relationships that bring different lessons and gifts. I really do wonder if you just haven't been in the right environment. None of my friends or I care about the superficial things that you mentioned those …
/r/ExRedPill28/09/25 03:44 AM
3

I'm very sorry you're going through this. They sound shallow, not all women are shallow. There are many women who care about the natural connection rather than surface things like that. Maybe you could spend time in places or hobbies that attract deeper women? Authentic relating workshops, tantra workshops, mushroom foraging, herbalism, ecstatic dance, hiking groups sound healing ceremonies, cacao ceremonies, etc. I don't think you should put in all of that effort to attract a woman, put in the …
/r/ExRedPill28/09/25 03:23 AM
3

Why would anyone only want to be in a relationship with someone who is THE BEST in an area or every area? That makes no sense friend! I don’t think anyone is looking for the world’s #1 in anything. There’s always going to be someone who is “better than” and someone who is “less than” you in some way. We all have different gifts, strengths, weaknesses! Diversity is wonderful. You are unique you for a reason! We’re not out here shopping for a car. You’re not a product. You’re a human being! It’s a…
/r/ExRedPill28/09/25 02:17 AM
7

You don’t have to be either extremes. I see “man-hating feminists” and red pill as two sides of the same coin that feed each other while hating each other. Not being red pill doesn’t mean you are a “man-hating feminist”. Many people are balanced and not either extreme.
/r/ExRedPill26/09/25 05:14 PM
8

Absolutely beautiful. Happy for you and your love
/r/ExRedPill22/09/25 05:00 AM
7

I’m very sorry this has been your experience so far. I think when we have wounds we can end up attracting more people who match the wound, until we go within and heal. That’s why oftentimes you’ll hear of a woman who has been abused as a child and then when she’s an adult she is often in relationships with abusers. It doesn’t mean all people are that way. We have to go within and heal what within us is attracting people like that. What wound. And what healthy boundaries we can have in place goin…
/r/ExRedPill22/09/25 03:32 AM
5

No way! I’m sorry you’re in such limiting beliefs, and the pain that has led you there. I have been deeply in love with men and respected them fully. I think respect and love go hand in hand. There are plenty of women who stay in a relationship or marriage longterm. You can’t say an entire group of people is one specific way.
/r/ExRedPill22/09/25 03:16 AM
8

Thank you so much for creating and putting a healthier message out there!
/r/ExRedPill04/09/25 02:35 AM
7

I don’t think it’s about getting the most views or the most people, but making content for those who are on the line and meant to hear it, for those who just need an alternative or healthier way presented to them. For someone like former you, who was into that content but began seeing holes in it. You (or other balanced men) can be a healthy catalyst for the right people, rather than THE most people. I think a lot of people are hungry for authenticity and balanced people who aren’t narcissists. …
/r/ExRedPill04/09/25 02:25 AM
25

You’ve stated it well! I keep wishing for men like you who are healthier examples to create content/videos for men that offer an alternative to toxic ideologies like red pill. We need more normal, healthy men creating content. But if that doesn’t interest you, thank you for writing this post, this post will help those who see it :) I could definitely add more, the list could go on and on with hypocrisies and illogical statements presented as facts. I appreciate the ones you listed and your way o…
/r/ExRedPill04/09/25 12:11 AM
6

Is there a reason you have to be by them and can’t leave? If not, then just don’t be around them! They’re not the whole world. Have some strength. You don’t want to view yourself as a victim. That’s what red pill guys do -they view themselves as the victim of women. And so you don’t want to do the same thing in reverse. Toxic cycle. You have more power than you think.
/r/ExRedPill27/08/25 09:14 AM
6

When I say beauty I mean it in a way that isn’t about conventional beauty or others’ opinions. but I come from an artist perspective and beauty is a part of my life. if that’s not something you value in life that’s okay too :) I was just trying to emphasize that beauty isn’t limited to youth or societal standards. I don’t think it is something that has to be abandoned unless you don’t care about it which is okay too. Why do you think you need it to survive? There are many older women surviving j…
/r/ExRedPill27/08/25 07:45 AM
10

Hey, I feel you with concerns of aging as a woman. but transitioning because of that is like letting the toxic ideology win, rather than representing something healthier, by radiating beauty whatever age you are. Beauty isn’t limited to conventional beauty or youth. Why live in the box of red pill? Why do you need to impress those who think that way? Take a look at photos of wrinkled women in India, smiling with no teeth. They radiate a beauty deeper than physical appearance. We need to not live…
/r/ExRedPill27/08/25 07:04 AM
2

but that’s the thing! I think when it’s offered as a service, it is no longer organic
/r/ExRedPill10/08/25 09:49 PM
2

I’m sorry, I’m not for VR technology personally. but that is an interesting thought of a use for it. I really think the best way is for a connection to naturally happen in person. And I know it’s really hard in our modern isolated society to find opportunities for connections to naturally happen. But dating sites just feel so unnatural in multiple ways. Or even connections that happen naturally online but not through dating apps. I’ve been in so many amazing relationships, and amazing friendship…
/r/ExRedPill10/08/25 09:31 PM
3

Love this! I don’t like how short bios and answers have to be on dating profiles. That the character limit is so small. I love the idea of an emotionally intelligent version.
/r/ExRedPill10/08/25 03:04 AM
19

I have been shocked that this is a thing. I haven’t ever thought about my partner’s height. I have been in a relationship with men who were shorter than me, men who were the same height as me (5’5-5’7), men who were taller than me. Men with long hair. Men who were bald. Those are factors I don’t think about. Same with income. I get annoyed when I see that assumption about women blasted all over the internet. I’ve never heard my girlfriends talk about a man’s height. But there are probably shallo…
/r/ExRedPill09/07/25 03:33 AM
3

Hey! I’m so sorry that this toxic thought stream has found you. As a woman I also battle toxic limiting shallow belief systems about my desirability. I have been in relationships with men who were much shorter than me (I’m 5’6), men who were my height exactly, men who were taller than me, men who were much taller than me. I’ve never been with a man based on his height or income. The connection is everything to me! Emotional intelligence, intellectual connection, spiritual connection. I’ve never …
/r/ExRedPill26/06/25 08:28 AM
11

I agree that there needs to be alternatives, healthy spaces for men to support each other. Healthy male role models/mentors. But when it comes to alternatives for being successful in romance and relationships, I don’t think it’s about having an efficient formula to get what you want. Red pill gives the illusion of providing a clear formula, but that doesn’t mean it works or is valid. I don’t think there are clear formulas for life, you just have to live and explore and experience for yourself an…
/r/ExRedPill07/06/25 07:11 PM
4

love that -reject, not disrespect :) which is a reflection of not being compatible together, rather than a reflection of her or his actual worth
/r/ExRedPill20/05/25 12:36 PM
12

“First, women should have clean past it’s still low value even if she’s become successful and changed, it’s not true it’s a societal construct.” -that is literally just a construct, your opinion. That’s not a fact or absolute truth. Even the concept of “a clean past” is just a concept. There is no real definition to that, it is a made up construct. Your idea of “a clean past” and someone else’s could be completely different. It’s not factual. Using the term “low value” or “high value” to describ…
/r/ExRedPill20/05/25 12:27 PM
1

It’s awesome that you’re self-reflecting. It seems like you’re looking for something deeper. Maybe to not run away from times of being alone? Is it so bad to be alone with one’s thoughts at 3am? Or could it be a beautiful beginning of self discovery? Some of the best creative works probably come from being alone at 3am haha. If you aren’t running from being with yourself, how might relationships change when they aren’t coming from an attempt at filling the void? On another note, rather than mean…
/r/ExRedPill19/05/25 04:07 PM
8

yes, and then they blame women or feminism for it.
/r/ExRedPill17/05/25 02:49 AM
9

Thank you so much for expressing this. I’m sorry that you didn’t have it easy in your early 20s and teens. It makes sense why you would think you’re supposed to play hard to get and be distant, but it seems like all of that has been a protective mechanism rather than a doorway to true intimacy. It’s not about games like not being too eager. That is overcorrecting. I think people in general can feel if someone is coming from a desperate, needy, or insecure place and are put off by that (both men …
/r/ExRedPill02/05/25 03:35 PM
12

Hey friend, personally I hate the term “high value” referring to a person. And the way red pill defines “high value” does not sound like high value to me at all. I highly value men who are empathetic and connected to their true self. Money and status are not “high value” to me personally. And the red pill version of “high value” women are model looks, youth, submissiveness, etc. I think these are very shallow narrow definitions of “high value”. Why do you need to be having the most sex? Why do y…
/r/ExRedPill29/04/25 02:35 PM
15

Most women I know aren’t on dating apps. And the format of being on a dating app is very different than naturally connecting with someone in person. All you have to go by are their pictures and short bios, so appearance will matter more on dating apps because there is less room to show your personality. I tried a few dating apps out of curiosity, I had never tried them before and never got into a relationship through a dating app. When I checked them out, I was surprised by how the majority of m…
/r/ExRedPill27/04/25 05:19 AM
2

yes that is an interesting thought. And maybe if that person has a subconscious draw to do that, maybe it’s because they need to experience that quality that is different from their family, for their growth
/r/ExRedPill26/04/25 06:58 PM
2

Thanks for sharing. Have you experienced this before? We’re all so different. I haven’t experienced this kind of attraction personally. I have often experienced attraction to men embodying qualities that I admire and lack in myself.
/r/ExRedPill26/04/25 05:23 PM
7

I was expecting this to be a superficial video, but pleasantly surprised -this is really great! Thanks for sharing. Lots of good insights. There’s probably many other possible reasons as well, but she listed lots of great ones that most people likely don’t think about consciously. And I like that this shows there’s way more to it than what red pill tries to paint as truth
/r/ExRedPill23/04/25 09:16 PM
9

Congrats on coming through the other side and realizing that it is nonsense! It takes strength and humility to leave something like that, especially after investing time into it. Not everyone chooses to be done with it, great job! And it makes sense why it would still be affecting you after hearing that crap for 3 years. It’s wonderful that you have self awareness! The first step toward healing :) Everyone’s different, but when my past partner tried explaining to me how “most women” want the ric…
/r/ExRedPill22/04/25 10:39 PM
14

I definitely think a huge part of it is not having healthy male role models. And not many alternatives in media that is directed at men but in a healthy way. I think red pill causes these men to feel heard and valued for the first time. But it ropes them into something dark. I hope that healthy men will begin offering alternatives through creating content online for men that helps them feel heard and valued, but doesn’t do that by devaluing or putting down women. I think r/Bropill is a great exa…
/r/ExRedPill18/04/25 03:02 AM
7

Aw, it is really hard! Seclusion can be a great time to go inward and work on ourselves, but it can also be extremely tempting to fall into one of these harmful “communities” out of loneliness and that desire for connection. They prey upon that. I’m grateful he has a caring sister as you. These kinds of ideologies can sound good to the mind, but they’re actually empty. These people have charm, charisma, seem logical. They’re missing heart, soul, and humanity. But also, Reddit seems to attract so…
/r/ExRedPill16/04/25 12:33 AM
20

I’m sorry that your brother is going through this. He needs to understand that it’s about the actions of individuals, and that the actions of an individual does not represent their entire gender or race. There are shallow superficial lying women, and there are shallow superficial lying men. There are emotionally mature respectful women, and there are emotionally mature respectful men. It would be more productive for him to do some inner work and find what within him was a match for her at the ti…
/r/ExRedPill16/04/25 12:10 AM
–

That’s a great point. and I would think marriage/partnership would be a lot more enjoyable with a true partner rather than someone to control
/r/ExRedPill09/04/25 03:50 PM
1

I am so sorry this happened to you. Please know that he has no power over you! That horrible frequency has no power over you. They want to trick you into giving away your power by causing you to fear. Say to yourself “I call back all of my energy back to me. I fully reclaim my energy.”
/r/ExRedPill08/04/25 09:55 PM
5

haha! that is the most perfect summary
/r/ExRedPill08/04/25 06:42 PM
2

Hello! Thank you for writing this, really feeling your heart. It’s a big deal that you had the awareness and strength to leave that content. There are shallow women, but there are also deep women who care. I know so many women, myself included, who do not care about money/status/ possessions in a partner. None of us have ever left a partner for that. But we are the kind of women you would find through yoga, meditation, spiritual communities, music festivals, tantra, enjoying nature, art, drum ci…
/r/ExRedPill08/04/25 03:49 AM
1

Having “a lot of options” doesn’t mean having a lot of good options. Many women don’t want just meaningless sex, which is what is easy to find. When either men or women stay true to their values, and not just get with whoever is available, there appears to be “less options” because you are waiting for a true connection, not someone to fill a role. One male friend told me that men pursue and women filter. Men are meant to pursue women who align with their values, and women are meant to filter and…
/r/ExRedPill08/04/25 03:48 AM
1

This was so wonderful to read. Thank you for being you. I have some male friends who tell other men “that’s not cool” when they say something sexist to them. I think men like you can be a great example. Not in a preachy way, but the simple rejection of it and modeling that.
/r/ExRedPill08/04/25 03:47 AM
11

right! I say this over and over -they only need to worry about this if their partner being 20-24 and looking like a model is their top priority. If you’re motivated by superficial criteria then you need to be the counterpart to that superficial criteria. Why not get out of the realm of superficiality altogether and prioritize real connection and compatible values. Don’t view being younger and the most conventionally attractive as better, and then you won’t have to worry about women who have supe…
/r/ExRedPill08/04/25 03:45 AM
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