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focuslady Archive

View 2 posts and 43 comments by focuslady on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
13

FIELD REPORTfocuslady/r/RedPillWomen04/03/18 09:52 PM
7

DISCUSSIONfocuslady/r/RedPillWomen20/02/18 07:14 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

I completely agree with you! I discovered RPW back in 2017 and have been practicing feminine skills ever since, but have screwed up so, so many times. Over the years I've built up this reserve in our relationship, so that when we face hard times now we get over them easier. And I have totally seen varying levels of toxicity in my husband related to how well I'm practicing my skills. I'm happy to report that we are, in fact, at a "happy ending" moment, and I do get to reap the rewards now :) As I…
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/22 11:32 PM
2

Wow that essay by Washington Irving made me cry :') Thanks so much for doing this series. We are in a tough spot financially right now (so this really hit home) and I don't have the money to buy the book. But just reading your recaps of these chapters is so, so helpful, and has been providing me with the tools I really need to support my husband.
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/22 04:01 PM
7

I agree that some of the statements feel clunky and wouldn’t work in my relationship, however her advice about self care coming first, gratitude and focusing on the positive traits of your spouse, apologizing, and eliminating needless emotional turmoil are excellent. Her podcast shares stories of real women transforming their relationships with her advice and they can be pretty incredible.
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/22 11:01 PM
4

I need to chime in because my situation is/was somewhat similar to yours and I know situations like this are more rare. So maybe I’ll have food for thought just by sharing. My fiancée is still legally married to his ex. For me this was not a dealbreaker to getting engaged, and getting engaged and setting a date has forced him to get the ball rolling faster on a legal divorce. He never lied to me about still being married. His ex has been absent for 5 years and he also has his two kids full time.…
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/20 05:39 AM
5

I can relate to this so much! I’ve always been very messy and at the end of high school I decided I wanted to be neater. Fast forward to my freshman year of college, going to put my laptop on my desk only to find a literal pile of stuff!! And realizing i was totally failing. I’ve made huge strides since then but still have work to do. I’ve been in a very messy season of life, and I have plenty of good excuses for that, but really going back to this simple rule is super helpful! As far as finding…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/18 06:54 PM
2

I love plants too!! I have 12 now, although a couple newer ones are not doing great. And I’ve gotten amazing deals on pots for house plants at both garage sales and thrift stores. And plants themselves really aren’t that expensive if you buy them small and they add so much life to a space!
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/18 06:26 PM
2

THANK YOU I was so confused reading this whole thread of responses I was almost starting to wonder what sub I was on! My relationship sounds a lot like yours and it’s great. I think it’s a huge gift to have a man with boundaries. Although of course I can understand why OP was feeling confused bc it can be hard to navigate at first. And you’re so right about giving chores to kids!!
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/18 04:41 AM
1

This is one side of one situation in a six year relationship. A situation where there is a ton of pressure! Why jump to “reconsider”? I see this so often on this sub. Like even when someone is married or blatantly saying that divorce is not an option, the most upvoted comment is essentially saying “get out.” You don’t know ANY other facts about them as people and your comments can do more harm than good.
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/18 05:43 AM
2

I’m 5’3” and 115lbs. I’ve always gotten the same comments. I have a kid now and I still get those comments. I’m not the type who gets hit on every where I go, but I’ve had my fair share of male attention. My SO also loves that I look young lol. I agree with other commenters, focus on 1. Being in the right places (I met my SO at an Acro yoga meetup - look it up) 2. Improving your appearance and grooming. Learn how to dress for your body type, learn about your coloring, learn what hair cut is flat…
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/18 09:27 PM
1

This is amazing, thank you. Also: https://youtu.be/BOtOc5RPQ4s
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/18 04:46 AM
4

This is an interesting dilemma and I’m interested to see what others say. I personally have a similar background as you, and in my current relationship I laid out very early on everything I had been through sexually as it came up. I also had a lot of remorse about what I had done, it was something I had overcame and transformed out of. So I would of course recommend to anyone with one night stands and the like in their background to present it with that tone, and it sounds like you would. What I…
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/18 10:29 PM
9

I got pregnant. I don’t talk about this a lot on this sub bc I know how people here feel about single moms, but that’s what happened to me. Once I got pregnant and felt the life inside me I realized that I had been led by feminism to really look down on mothers, when in actuality there is no experience more rewarding or important in this world. I found the red pill just as my sons father and I got back together, and using all of this wisdom I’ve been able create the best relationship I’ve ever b…
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/18 09:47 PM
1

Well, when you put it like that I actually have been making slow progress. I have just been waking up later than I set my alarm, and not early enough to make use of the time. But lowering the bar to slow progress over time so it doesn’t feel like a total failure is a good idea, thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/18 02:53 PM
1

That’s awesome, it is definitely cool to see how small shifts affect everything! Especially when you are shifting in the direction of lighthearted femininity! And yeah, joyful chores are pretty much the best.
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/18 12:40 AM
1

My relationship started off so rough. He was in a hard place and we’ve had some very challenging circumstances. We were on, off, and friends for 2.5 years before finally committing last summer, around the time I was red pilled. All of the challenges made it hard to fall in love. We’re making up for lost time, and falling now... and I have a feeling it’s going to keep going deeper for a very very long time. Nice to see others on this thread who have long term honeymoon stories :)
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/18 05:28 AM
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🤩 thank you!!
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/18 08:48 PM
6

I’m getting the feeling that this post isn’t totally on topic for this sub. I don’t think RPW encourages women to date as just something fun to do. Women here are encouraged to go into nun mode to explore fun things to do, interests, etc to develop ourselves, and then date with fairly specific goals, while carefully vetting the men we let into our lives. This takes self control and carefully revealing who you are over time. I understand the sentiment but this seems like it belongs in another sub…
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/18 08:46 PM
1

I think this is good advice. It reminds me a bit of the book “The Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood” (which you can find a pdf of by searching the title in RPW). I recommend it, especially if leaving right now really isn’t an option for you. The first four chapters have some very helpful “assignments”. The author does say that the man blowing up is somewhat normal in the beginning phases of shifting the relationship, but I agree that it sounds like he needs a space to adequately air his resentmen…
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/18 03:39 PM
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Aw thank you! I’m honored!
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/18 02:52 PM
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RPW is the only place I have found women talking about what men really like and really want, and how to successfully sustain a loving relationship over a lifetime based on the masculine/feminine dynamic. Cultivating femininity and being submissive earns adoration from men. The information I have received here quite literally saved my relationship. I’m not a slave, I have been freed. I’m freed from thinking that acting like a child in a relationship will get what I want. I’m freed from selfishnes…
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/18 10:46 PM
2

Yeah that was definitely a lightbulb moment for me. I have a mother who is more feminist minded too and she is very cold and rude to my dad. Sometimes I recognize my mind trying to mimic her vibe subconsciously, it’s so weird! But it’s wonderful to know I have a choice and I can change. I wish you the best!
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/18 03:19 PM
6

In terms of moment-to-moment, day-to-day maintenance of a submissive mindset, I find that cultivating gratitude is extremely helpful. I remember why I’m doing what I’m doing and how I’m serving him. Why I love him and what he does for me. I have to say that having a woman’s mind can be so strange. I really feel that urge to pick at him about small things. All I can say is that making a conscious choice to turn my mind away from that is all that really works. I also am mindful about not letting t…
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/18 03:41 AM
2

Oh ok I’ve heard of that brand! Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/18 03:58 PM
3

Thanks for posting this! I’m trying to get my skincare routine down and need more ideas. My skin has been super dry this winter and I’ve been having some redness and breakouts. Need to work out more!! I’m thin so losing weight or just general “health” doesn’t usually motivate me to exercise but when I’m reminded it’s good for my skin it makes me want to do it! Right now in the am I wash my face with warm water and then use an almond oil spf 15 moisturizer. I’m looking for a different one or a ti…
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/18 12:16 AM
1

You’re asking the wrong questions. It doesn’t matter what most men are doing, it matters what happy men and happy couples are doing. Men often aren’t looking for traits in women that will lead to long term happiness bc they don’t know what those are. Idk about you but most of the couples I see are operating under an egalitarian mindset, not a masculine/feminine dynamic. In my personal experience I have met close to zero couples who I actually want to emulate. So why would I give a thought to wha…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/18 03:31 AM
1

I’m a bit late to this but thought I should share my story because something similar happened to me while I was pregnant and parts may or may not be applicable to your situation. When I was 20 weeks preggo my bf and I got into a fight and I was really cold and rude all day. He was basically like “ok I’m done this isn’t working” at the end of the day. When this happened, I didn’t understand and I was so heartbroken. If I had posted about it on RPW at the time, people would have told me to run too…
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/18 05:52 PM
7

Don’t take it personally or let your hamster run. Men enjoy pursuing. Scale your initiation back to like 25%. Let your desire build more it will be good!!
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/18 03:13 AM
6

When I stopped drinking I had to go through that uncomfortable phase of turning down drinks, like others have mentioned. I was close with some pretty heavy drinkers from college. It was awkward but others are right, people get used to it and you shouldn’t feel bad. You’ll be able to tell pretty quickly who you really want to be friends with based on their reactions, too. You wouldn’t believe some of the dirty looks I got! But hey fuck em lol. Have you talked to your bf about this? Tell him every…
/r/RedPillWomen25/01/18 07:11 AM
12

I understand your fear. Reading this sub will not necessarily make you feel better, but it can make you be better, which is way more important. I can make you feel better simply by saying that you are normal... I have many friends like you and I am like you. I had slutty college years and deeply regret it. I was raised by a feminist minded mom who told me I just had to “get it out of my system.” I didn’t know better. We made mistakes and that’s ok. But you are right that there may be prices to p…
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/18 06:11 AM
2

I agree these are really important things to consider. I feel like feminism has glorified and romanticized the “career” as something men get to do while they try to oppress women into the home. It’s bullshit. Work is work. Even a career or business you are “passionate” about is work. I don’t think that your mothers issues are about “money” and “power”. She may think they are, you may think they are, but I personally think that’s a BP way of looking at the relationship. Women who have men complet…
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/18 01:41 AM
41

I feel that there are parts of the red pill philosophy that are useful to any person in any time of their life. Applying red pill philosophies to a long term relationship is intended to protect against the very fears you have brought up about LTRs. I have found no other philosophy that offers such helpful advice that specifically address what men actually like, and what actually keeps them around. As for casual hook ups, please trust me when I say that you are missing NOTHING. Don’t be brainwash…
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/18 05:34 AM
4

Well hey, being supportive and open is a good place to start :)
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/18 04:29 AM
6

The traditional (marriage + babies) is being attacked, people are rejecting it. Those same people are getting pregnant and wanting the baby once they are pregnant. The values shift once life is inside them. Also, simple math: more sex = more babies. More unmarried sex = more babies out of wedlock. Birth control fails and people have moments of carelessness.
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/18 04:47 PM
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I like that! One year my top goal was to be less judgmental. I was so sick of that judgy voice in my head. Just writing it down helped! Good luck happy 2018!
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/18 04:44 PM
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I’m confused about RP male strategy and how it relates to RPW strategy. RP men are being told to not get married and spin plates, RPW are being told to NOT be a plate and to get married. How do these work together? Are they not meant to? Are RPW not marrying RP men? Maybe I’m missing some required reading but a recent mention of this confused me.
/r/RedPillWomen01/01/18 09:42 PM
13

Be polite. She’s not a whore, she’s a pretty average girl by today’s standards. And she’s trying to get help.
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/17 03:16 AM
2

I agree, the truth is extremely important. Telling the truth will get you in relationships where you can be totally honest and be forgiven for your past, and that can be very powerful. I can’t imagine having a lifelong relationship with someone who I couldn’t be honest with about my experiences.
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/17 03:15 AM
5

Yes I’m so glad you found RPW too! Wish I had when I was your age! I was atheist when I was your age too haha. I’m a part of a Christian community right now for the first time and it’s really awesome. I was interested in religion at a young age, went through a period of atheism, then found God and Jesus through a period of new age exploration.. so when I became interested in Christianity again, I had some very different beliefs about who God and Jesus are and I guess what this world is all about…
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/17 09:15 PM
10

I have two Christian girlfriends who had sex before they were married. They married virgins, and waited until their wedding night to have sex with them. They were “born again” ya know? Religious people in the right circles are very often extremely forgiving and understanding of past circumstances and transformation. So a religious man you meet would probably not mind, if you had really committed to newfound “virginity” / gone through with a long term nun mode. Honestly it’s a route I would highl…
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/17 06:06 AM
2

Yes pretty much! Our activities vary a lot on the weekends so sometimes we’re home sometimes we aren’t. I also highly recommend making double batches or a little extra for dinners during the week to have leftovers for weekends or lunches. I loooove leftovers for lunch! Even if you don’t like going out, breaking the week up into two shopping trips helps a lot I think. It’s much more manageable to think in terms of 3-4 meals at a time.
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/17 07:00 PM
5

Such great advice!! So nice of you to write out a long response too. Since reddit cut you off while talking about meals, ill add my meal advice: I plan out 4 meals at a time (mon-thurs) and shop for those on Monday. We eat out every Friday. This works really well for me. Its hard for me to even imagine how lost I would feel if I didn’t have my meals in mind and was just trying to throw things together in the kitchen every day! I usually have an idea of what I’m making on each night but tend to m…
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/17 12:40 AM
3

All I can give to you is encouragement. You’re already on the right track. Finding RPW at your age and in your situation is one of the best things that could have happened to you. You are going to save yourself so much time and heartache by following the dating advice here, and it is extremely wise of you to take some time to yourself. Stick to your plan, heal your hurts, face your issues, pursue your interests and goals! And keep reading RPW!
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/17 04:43 AM
2

I don’t at all anymore. After the last election, I realized that it is nearly impossible to get unbiased information and I gave up. I see my mom and friends “staying informed” but really they’re just reading and sharing things that support their perspective/political party. I will probably always vote, and I think it’s important to understand what’s happening locally. But I don’t believe that everyone has a moral duty to be involved. People all have different roles in society, some people are me…
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/17 12:39 AM
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