footbag22 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
23	Keeping my distance		footbag22	/r/Divorce_Men	18/04/25 05:46 PM
19	STBXW wants me to put her first	Rant	footbag22	/r/Divorce_Men	19/06/25 10:09 AM
17	Wife asked for divorce but has done nothing to action it		footbag22	/r/Divorce_Men	01/06/25 08:23 PM
13	How to Behave		footbag22	/r/Divorce_Men	30/03/25 03:24 AM
3	Opinions on STBXel mental state		footbag22	/r/Divorce_Men	28/05/25 09:46 AM
0	Would you take a bullet		footbag22	/r/Divorce_Men	20/12/25 01:01 AM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	Today is going to be tough Ya would she rather you be at the concert and then in the hospital or your bed for a week or more, or miss the concert and be a present father after. I don't want to teach my child that we should force ourselves into unhappy situations when we don't want to. I don't go near people that hurt me and I don't need to teach my child that. It's a difficult concept to grasp because for example would I step in front of a bullet and get hurt and end up in hospital or dead in order to prevent my child bei…	/r/Divorce_Men	19/01/26 08:33 AM
6	Today is going to be tough Don't feel guilty man, their mother is the one who broke up the family not you. I'm in the same boat as you bro.	/r/Divorce_Men	18/01/26 06:00 PM
7	Today is going to be tough Doesn't matter man. Take him to the water park yourself again. He'll get more quality time there with you anyways. Your quality time does not have to coincide with when he's having fun with his friends or his extravagant birthday party. Kids care much less about that shit than you think. They care about love and bonding with you. Give them that. They will remember that, not the birthday party.	/r/Divorce_Men	18/01/26 05:42 PM
6	Today is going to be tough Make it up to your son in another way, he'll understand and probably enjoy you and the time more.	/r/Divorce_Men	18/01/26 05:22 PM
8	Today is going to be tough Dont go.	/r/Divorce_Men	18/01/26 05:22 PM
12	Glad there is some support here Man I can relate to this so well. The truth is it's not fair, she has betrayed you, kick her out of your life as best you can, you owe her nothing. If she comes back it will be because she changed her mind, not because you are actively trying to change her mind. Focus in yourself stop being nice to her, she will gladly take advantage of you if you do without ever planning to give you anything in return. I know first hand from the past 12 months of separation. Sorry man. I'm with you..it hurts an…	/r/Divorce_Men	26/12/25 06:29 PM
5	Glad there is some support here Sorry to hear man. I went through the same thing after new year a year ago. It's been a year and I'm still struggling. Best thing to do is no contact, sadly that's very hard with children. Just live your life without her, anything you say or do will not bring her back. Focus on levelling up yourself, to help you find even better, or to get her back one day. But maybe once you level up you won't take her back if she only wanted you for your new better self and not your old self. You deserve bette…	/r/Divorce_Men	26/12/25 06:15 PM
–	I think its over and im feeling very alone You will get half the house and half the car and potentially alimony and child support. Talk to a lawyer you might be able to get a free consultation.	/r/Divorce_Men	24/12/25 08:49 PM
-1	Do i tell her the truth or sugarcoat it? I think you owe her the truth so she can have proper closure and move forward easier. Otherwise she might always wonder and think she can get you back. Just be fucking honest please.	/r/Divorce_Men	24/12/25 04:03 PM
2	Would you take a bullet Thanks mate!	/r/Divorce_Men	20/12/25 07:20 PM
1	Would you take a bullet Sorry to hear that man. Mine wasn't like that, although she did have a bit of a drinking problem, but I have my vices too. We drifted apart, but I believed we could have got back to where we once were. Her choosing to leave was betrayal enough for me to want nothing to do with her, but worse than that is she did it a week after my job ended (we relocated and I resigned so that we could move, but she got a job in the new place before we moved), and just as I was finishing renovating our new house…	/r/Divorce_Men	20/12/25 05:33 PM
2	Would you take a bullet Thanks mate I didn't take any offence I loved your message and was just reiterating why I'm here. If my first sentence came off as hostile it was not meant to be. I appreciate your time and positive words, I really do, it's very helpful.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/12/25 03:41 PM
3	Would you take a bullet Well that's exactly why I'm here, talking to other (mostly men) so thank you for your input. You're right I need to stop putting her in a pedestal because the truth is she's not better than me. So thank you. And I am doing that for my daughter. When her mother is out of my life I'm best. When she's in it (even just seeing her for 5 minutes), I'm worse. So I shouldn't feel guilty for not wanting to see her. And if me not wanting to see her is making her worse then maybe she should reconsider whet…	/r/Divorce_Men	20/12/25 12:55 PM
1	Would you take a bullet This is a good way to put it. Would be more sad but not necessarily worse off. Thanks for sharing.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/12/25 12:51 PM
2	Would you take a bullet This is beautiful and perfectly put. Thanks for sharing and giving me some reassurance that I shouldn't feel guilty for putting myself before her. She's clearly a narcissist if she thinks I should put her before myself post-divorce (because she claims I never did in the marriage, which I would argue), and I know she thinks this because she told me to my face that she expects it.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/12/25 12:49 PM
2	Would you take a bullet Sorry man I'm with you.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/12/25 12:47 PM
1	Would you take a bullet I'm sorry to hear that man, I kind of feel the same way.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/12/25 12:46 PM
0	Would you take a bullet That's a bit extreme but I don't know what she did to you so I'm sure you have your reasons.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/12/25 12:44 PM
1	Would you take a bullet Thanks for sharing. Appreciate it.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/12/25 12:43 PM
1	Would you take a bullet I presume she's below Putin because he has not done anything to hurt you personally? I'm not sure if I'd go that far but I know what you're saying.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/12/25 12:42 PM
1	Would you take a bullet 😂	/r/Divorce_Men	20/12/25 12:41 PM
1	Would you take a bullet I'm with you. She's actually on my black list with others who have betrayed me and well below most strangers (besides evil people and terrorists).	/r/Divorce_Men	20/12/25 12:40 PM
1	Would you take a bullet I'm with you man. Thanks for reaching out. And I think she thinks that if I don't help her with her finances that it will impact her ability to make our daughter happy and what's best for her. Sadly I disagree that materialism and sugar are what's best for her. Difference in values I guess, but I shouldn't have to be made to feel guilty for that, so I won't allow it anymore. At the beginning I bent to all her requests to try and please her to win her back. Now that I know that's not happening I …	/r/Divorce_Men	20/12/25 12:38 PM
1	Would you take a bullet Sadly for me I was always the more involved and attentive parent but our child still favours her, not because I'm a bad father, I'd say because she spoils our child and makes her life easier with lots of treats and gifts and TV time whereas with me it's eating healthy and physical activity. So maybe I need to think of it as short term the pain would kill her inside, but long-term I know I'm good for her so why give that up for her narcissistic mother.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/12/25 01:29 AM
1	Would you take a bullet Let's call it a proverbial bullet then. The bullet could be symbolic for committing a task that benefits her.but hurts you for the sake of your child. Another example, if she needed work done on her house and it was going to cost her $1000, and instead info it for free but tell her to put $500 into the child's savings account. She benefits, the child benefits, and I suffer because of the labour (my time, back pain) and the anxiety it causes me means I'm not a present father for my child the next…	/r/Divorce_Men	20/12/25 01:26 AM
2	Would you take a bullet I would say even when we were married she wouldn't, but I think most women wouldn't but men would, even when married.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/12/25 01:20 AM
6	Wife dragged it out for 4 months, treated me like dirt, and now might want counselling? Too late. I for some reason heavily want to agree with Jiggly here. If so, you have to decide if that form or hurt or betrayal is forgivable if she is also willing to forgive you for your past mistakes.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/06/25 07:15 AM
5	Wife dragged it out for 4 months, treated me like dirt, and now might want counselling? Too late. Not even let her file, file yourself if she's dragging it out.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/06/25 05:35 AM
3	Wife dragged it out for 4 months, treated me like dirt, and now might want counselling? Too late. This is the best post I've written in a while. It's given me hope that I'll come out the other side. I've been working on healing and moving on but can't help to hold onto a glimmer of hope that my STBXW will take me back before the divorce is final (I guess it doesn't really matter). This gives me hope that not only will I move on, but that I might so much so that if she finally turns around and wants to give us another shot as I have been hoping for, that I'll no longer even want that because …	/r/Divorce_Men	20/06/25 05:34 AM
1	Finalized Separation Agreement - fucked less than trial - still fucked. Sorry to hear man, hope it's only up from here.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/06/25 06:44 PM
2	STBXW wants me to put her first But then if you can help fix it with your labour isn't that also money saved for the pool that can be used for your kids? Or is that just a boundary you set for yourself so you don't feel like her bitch or her handyman or her slave or her employee and give her a complex of being above you? Or is it because you don't want to spend an extended time with her at the house, then again you could do it while she's out if the house. Or because you have a negative association with the house?	/r/Divorce_Men	19/06/25 06:10 PM
1	Would you remarry and have more children in your 40's? Complement, with an "e". With an "i" is like to say something nice to/about you, but maybe you meant both if your ex was no bueno near the end. ;)	/r/Divorce_Men	19/06/25 05:43 PM
2	STBXW wants me to put her first That's what I do and always have. I've been there for my child more than she has through the years because her work has always been intense and mine flexible. My issue is when I see my ex I get emotionally triggered because I'm still very attracted to her and still in love with her. But then she does something nasty or disrespectful and I realize that looks aren't enough to make it work.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/06/25 04:57 PM
3	STBXW wants me to put her first Yes she follows social media and I know it has influenced her. She also made several new divorcee women friends months before the separation, I believe she was also influenced by that. She also agreed to certain terms for a divorce and then spoke with a lawyer and redacted all of those. Influenced again. Clearly she is easily influenced rather than following her own heart. She's likely exploiting me because she knows how much I care. Unless she deep down wants to reconcile, if so why the fuck wo…	/r/Divorce_Men	19/06/25 04:53 PM
2	STBXW wants me to put her first Since the divorce I have gotten myself into the best shape of my life since I was 28 (I'm 42 now), albeit this was always my intention as soon as we moved into our new house and started our new chapter. She told me 2 weeks before the move that she wanted out. Flipped my life completely upside down. Had to find myself a new place. I didn't let that get in the way of my plans. Cleaned up my diet and started exercising regularly like I had planned and now I'm a shredded machine. Her comment that I'…	/r/Divorce_Men	19/06/25 04:46 PM
3	STBXW wants me to put her first Appreciate your response.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/06/25 04:39 PM
3	STBXW wants me to put her first Thanks for sharing your story brother. It definitely helps to know we're not alone, and we can unite and be strong with each others support. I think I'm learning a lot from this, so I'm glad I made the post. Sometimes writing it down or seeing other perspectives helps, the beauty of reddit. I feel like I'm headed down a deep dark endless black hole if I allow this to continue. In 2 weeks she and my child are heading to our home country for a month and then I am heading on a 1 month adventure wit…	/r/Divorce_Men	19/06/25 04:38 PM
4	STBXW wants me to put her first Can't put herself in your shoes. Lack of empathy and compassion. Probably a narcissist. Feels you should have to suffer for her benefit. Maybe if she let you work on the marriage you could give her all the good you've gained out of it, but no! Selfish.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/06/25 04:32 PM
4	STBXW wants me to put her first Curious...if you feel the way you do, why would you even give her your opinion on how to fix it? Isn't that something she can look online or ask a professional? Where do you draw the line on kindness vs pettiness?	/r/Divorce_Men	19/06/25 02:29 PM
6	STBXW wants me to put her first Sounds very similar to my case. Divorce isn't final yet but she will need to borrow a significant amount of cash to buy me out, and also seeks my advice for maintenance and also likely will need to spend a lot more if her non-existent money to maintain the house that otherwise I could do with my own hands. I know the moment another man comes along I'll be out, so I suppose that should be no different now. If my abilities to do handyman work, manly jobs, heavy lifting, renovations, etc. weren't e…	/r/Divorce_Men	19/06/25 02:25 PM
1	In Flight Probably to Nicaragua to surf. Or to Australia to find a job. I'm stuck here in a small town in Spain with little job opportunities. We moved here to start a new life as a family, we have no one here, now that the family is broken, I have no reason to be here but my kid. Al contemplating travelling with my child in 3 month rotations, my child will be starting an online school next year, so why not. STBXW always wanted to travel and educate. Why stop that just because she's stuck here with her jo…	/r/Divorce_Men	08/06/25 06:27 PM
2	In Flight 42 with a young child, feel stuck here, I would be out in a jiffy if not for our child. Sucks having to talk to her regularly and see her once in a while, I would completely ghost her if we didn't have a child. Only way to move on.	/r/Divorce_Men	06/06/25 04:50 PM
2	Wife asked for divorce but has done nothing to action it No I haven't said it to her that way, and yes it's possible she is, but no way of really knowing because I think she's too stubborn and avoidant to ever admit it or cave.	/r/Divorce_Men	03/06/25 09:15 PM
1	Wife asked for divorce but has done nothing to action it Thanks. I am 50% custody, my child stays with me 50%. I know she doesn't want it any other way, she didn't even want kids, she only had one because I wanted kids. I am not paying anything into the house at the moment. But I am still liable if anything goes wrong. But yes I am stuck paying rent and yes u have equity ties up in the house that I'm currently not benefitting off of, unless of course she continues to pay the bills and I maintain my equity. Only her name is on the mortgage, but my name…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/06/25 02:17 PM
2	Wife asked for divorce but has done nothing to action it I'm sorry to hear that. Yes the main thing that drives me to want to action it despite not wanting it, is some form of closure, to allow me to move forward, to maintain the boundaries that would be required if we're not together. Are we married or are we not? I don't want to live in limbo. And if you're enjoying single life and the beautiful home we created because of my equity, I feel like a simp for allowing that. I think regardless of whether you make a divorce official/legal or not, should n…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/06/25 12:55 PM
3	Wife asked for divorce but has done nothing to action it I think you're probably right. Thanks.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/06/25 10:13 AM
1	Wife asked for divorce but has done nothing to action it I'm not certain, but based on my attempts to open her up, I would say she isn't. We have not gone to counselling. When we were having problems in February 2024 she suggested it and I declined. I thought we could work things out ourselves. I guess I didn't think it was as bad as she did. I didn't think she was going to want to divorce me a year later. If she had come to me and said, if you're not willing to go to counselling I'm likely going to consider divorce, that would have shown me the serio…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/06/25 10:12 AM
0	Wife asked for divorce but has done nothing to action it I'm happy to hear that for you. I've suggested everything from couples counselling to maintaining a romantic relationship but living apart, etc. Everytime she just brings up the past and spits my mistakes in my face. She's clearly not able to forgive and forget and wants out. So unfortunately I don't think that's an option. She has likely moved in romantically, even if it's just a long distance emotional relationship and not physical. I have to respect her decision. Although not only do I not ag…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/06/25 09:02 AM
0	Wife asked for divorce but has done nothing to action it Can she call the police on me if I just move in without her consent? She lived there for 2 weeks, went away and while away I lived there for 3 weeks (with her consent albeit I didn't need it) and then I moved out before her return and she's been there 2 months more now. The house is half mine.	/r/Divorce_Men	01/06/25 11:26 PM
1	Wife asked for divorce but has done nothing to action it What about this option? Because if I file I have to pay the court fée, which I don't want to do. I technically still own half the house. What if I tell her it's my house too and I want to move back in (I only left to give her space to help her get clarity in whether she wants to continue the marriages which she clearly chose not to....was the "needing space" just a manipulation to get me out of the house? Probably), can she say no? Maybe that will quickly get her to get a move in with the divorc…	/r/Divorce_Men	01/06/25 11:08 PM
0	Wife asked for divorce but has done nothing to action it Ya she asked me to do the finances (something I always did), I did it a few days later. All I was missing was her account balances. 2 weeks later she tells le she wants a divorce. I ask her to get me her balances so I can finalize the asset division spreadsheet. Now more than 2 months have passed and she has a new excuse every week. Something I'm very used to, her saying she will do something and then not, finding an excuse of I'm too busy or too tired yet has hosted multiple friends in our new …	/r/Divorce_Men	01/06/25 09:53 PM
6	Wife asked for divorce but has done nothing to action it Ya. I fear she will use this and play the victim card that I ultimately divorced her, but truthfully, this probably gives me some control back, and shows I'm not a bitch, and if a reconciliation is possible in the future, whether we're married or divorced likely has 0 impact in that. I don't think I'm ruining my chances of a reconciliation by auctioning it myself, it's not going to change how she feels, if anything it might gain me some respect and prove to her I'm not as weak and controllable a…	/r/Divorce_Men	01/06/25 08:43 PM
1	Opinions on STBXel mental state Do you have a background in psychology? Where did you learn the insights you provided me in your original comment.	/r/Divorce_Men	29/05/25 02:41 AM
2	Opinions on STBXel mental state We have a child. If we didn't I'd probably never see her again. Instead I have to talk to her and see her minimum once a week.	/r/Divorce_Men	28/05/25 01:47 PM
1	Opinions on STBXel mental state Such a good reply! Thank you so much! It's sad how those things you stated are true but I think you're right. Dark psychology is nasty.	/r/Divorce_Men	28/05/25 01:38 PM
1	Just curious… for those who initiated the Divorce due to reasonings other than infidelity, why did you initiate? How is life, and your mental state now (post Divorce)? I think this is brilliant and along the lines of what I suggested. I wish my wife had done that with me.	/r/Divorce_Men	26/04/25 04:13 AM
4	Just curious… for those who initiated the Divorce due to reasonings other than infidelity, why did you initiate? How is life, and your mental state now (post Divorce)? Just a thought. My roles are reversed with you. Something I wish my wife did was tell me she wants to do a trial separation. When she told le she was done that really set a fire under my ass to change. I started treating her like a queen. Unfortunately it was too late. But maybe if you still want your wife, if you properly threaten to leave, she will change. Even though it might be a test in your eyes, she shouldn't know that. If she changes, then great. If she reverts back after a few months yo…	/r/Divorce_Men	24/04/25 04:40 PM
1	Never enough I hear ya man.	/r/Divorce_Men	24/04/25 04:27 PM
8	Never enough But don't chase after her. It will only push her away further. I suggest no contact to help you move past her. If shes ready to come back she will, otherwise don't force something you can't control. Focus on you. Don't chase her, it makes you seem weak. Like you can't handle this world alone or that you can't find someone better. Even if you don't want to, you have to act like you might have to. Because you might. And you can.	/r/Divorce_Men	24/04/25 04:26 PM
6	Never enough I'm sorry to hear that man that's really rough. Women can drop unexpected bombs on us. Very fickle creatures. I hope she realizes the grass isn't always greener on the other side and comes back to you. Focus on yourself, find the good in it, use your freed up time to improve yourself. It gets better.	/r/Divorce_Men	24/04/25 04:24 PM
3	Keeping my distance Really appreciate your response, thank you.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/04/25 04:31 PM
3	Keeping my distance Thanks. Ya less so holding a grudge and moreso a matter of respecting yourself. Would you do it to anyone else in the world? Probably not. So why her? She's not your wife or partner anymore.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/04/25 03:02 PM
2	Keeping my distance We live in a very small town and I'm fairly certain she isn't sleeping with someone else. But she is texting with male "friends" who want to "visit." That being said, they live across the ocean, so at most if they visit it could be a week's worth of sleeping together and then into a very long distance relationship. I don't see how that's going to meet my wife's needs more than she was getting with me.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/04/25 07:05 AM
3	Keeping my distance That is how I'm thinking. But I'm saying if the gods were going to bring us back together somehow in the future, it's unlikely going to happen if I remain distant with her forever. Any other woman I'd show interest to, but not this woman. But this woman likely won't ever ask me if I want to go on a date if I'm always cold to her. If I met this woman in public and didn't know her, I'd be willing to be nice in hopes to get a date, but this woman I don't want to be nice, which means likely I'll nev…	/r/Divorce_Men	19/04/25 07:03 AM
8	Keeping my distance Thanks man. My biggest challenge now is our child. I want to sell the house so I can get my share. My wife can't afford to buy me out. I told my child this and she got very upset and started crying. Please don't make mama sell the house. The only way to keep the house is for my wife to borrow money somehow to buy me out. She's already in massive debt so this would very much financially constrain her and limit her ability to give our child a good life now, rather than have a house for her in the …	/r/Divorce_Men	19/04/25 06:56 AM
4	Keeping my distance Thanks.	/r/Divorce_Men	18/04/25 06:25 PM
1	How to Behave So, hi all OP here, update for everyone. When I decided I needed some space to help myself move past my feelings for my STBX wife, I was not explicit with my boundaries. She sent me photos of her with our child. She asked for advice for things around the house. She asked me to help with jobs around the house. And in some cases I helped because I was trying to be nice or felt bad for her, realistically though I was doing these things to try and show her my value and win her back. Not just to be a…	/r/Divorce_Men	05/04/25 03:01 AM
1	How to Behave How long will that last? We live in a pretty small town, the chances of her meeting someone new here are very slim..so she's going to have to uproot her life (2 years into an international relocation and just finally settled into her first ever house 1 month ago). You think she will run back to me once she's lonely?	/r/Divorce_Men	02/04/25 10:15 PM
2	How to Behave Well no she hasn't agreed to sell it, she wants to keep it. But she can't afford to buy me out. But the courts could force me to let her keep it so our child can stay there, but I believe that only applies if she's going for full custody which she's not, were going 50/50. Moving back is best for me financially, but probably not best for her emotionally. I have recently lost my job so can't afford to pay the bills, she was going to be paying the bills if we were staying together until I found a n…	/r/Divorce_Men	31/03/25 09:17 PM
3	Loving your kids Amen. My wife asked for space to seek clarity. Out of that she decided she needs to divorce me. And now she wants me around as a friend. And now I don't even want to see her profile photo on the platform I use to text message her. The irony. Good luck brother.	/r/Divorce_Men	31/03/25 03:15 PM
3	Loving your kids Haha well that's a different story! That's a move out of spite not kindness. I've been there, I know the feeling. My issue is now things have calmed down and she's still asking me for shit. Wants to be my friend. I don't want friend zone with someone I love and long for still. So I will forget her and focus on myself and our child.	/r/Divorce_Men	31/03/25 02:54 PM
5	Loving your kids Wow. Good on you. But she could hire movers. With her own money. So isn't that you giving her more financially?	/r/Divorce_Men	31/03/25 02:30 PM
3	How to Behave Yes I'm aware sue checked out a while ago. Which makes it hurt more knowing I spent 6 months renovating our house when sue probably knew all along I wasn't going to be enjoying it. I moved out because I thought giving her space would bring her back. It was a trial separation. She's now only recently announced a divorce is the best path forward. Should I move back in? It's half my house, she's not allowed to stop me. Ya I think I need to focus on healing, and servicing my stbx will not do that. I…	/r/Divorce_Men	31/03/25 02:05 PM
2	Loving your kids Very mature of you. I think you're a better man than most. I hope you can inspire me.	/r/Divorce_Men	31/03/25 01:56 PM
2	Loving your kids Wow. This is very inspiring. I am in a recent separation and really struggling. I know there are things I could do to help my wife, but I didn't think of it as actually helping my child too. I guess I'm not opposed to doing these things, but, maybe it's too fresh still and I need time first to heal, and that means space from my STBXW and thus not doing these things. But then I guess that's me being selfish instead of selfless for my child. I will note that I was doing these things for the first …	/r/Divorce_Men	31/03/25 01:19 PM
4	How to Behave I can let go of the ego. But I can't be a selfless friend. Friendships don't last if they're not mutual.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/03/25 10:02 PM
6	How to Behave She does nothing for me besides raise my child well. But she's not doing that for me, she's doing it for the child. And I raise the child well too. So ya, she's not doing fuck all for me pardon my french.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/03/25 10:00 PM
3	How to Behave This sounds pretty complicated. Sounds like I definitely need to get a lawyer.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/03/25 07:21 PM
4	How to Behave Hi thanks for all the words of advice. Yes I refuse to be friend-zoned by her. I saw how that worked out with all the other guys that longed for her before I stole her heart. I do admit that doing those jobs probably wreaked of weakness and probably pushed her further away. As for the co-parenting, I have always been a hands on father, doing 90% of all school drop-offs, pick-ups and after school sports/activities, taking her to the park on weekends while my wife relaxes or does house work. I pla…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/03/25 06:55 PM
3	How to Behave Thanks that helps, I appreciate your insight. I truly don't see how she will be happier alone, but I guess that's not my problem, it's hers.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/03/25 06:04 PM
3	How to Behave Thanks for the advice. Do you think I'm playing too nice and shooting myself in the foot if I let her hold onto the house and pay me back in installments? The alternative is if we sell the house now I may lose significant money on it, whereas I would get more in the first option just over a longer period. I suppose I should get a market evaluation done to decide which might be better.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/03/25 05:59 PM
2	How to Behave Well I hurt her a bit resulting in her ultimately wanting to divorce me. I neglected emotional connection with her for years while I focused on day trading instead of her. I also crossed a line with her best friend, although there was no romantic or physical relationship, just a text message telling her I was attracted to her (no pictures were exchanged either). My penance is losing her though. It doesn't mean I still owe her anything does it? I hurt her, now she's hurt me. She wants to remain f…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/03/25 05:53 PM
2	How to Behave Yes my name is on the deed. In fact both our names are on the deed but only her name is in the mortgage (I couldn't get in the mortgage because I didn't have an income in this country). A fair price in my eyes is how much we put into it (we just moved in so nothing has depreciated). I would argue that the lawyer fees and transfer taxes should be recoverable for me which are offset by the sweat equity I put into the house which will add to the future appreciation value of the house. Plus I only a…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/03/25 05:16 PM
2	How to Behave I'm definitely contemplating this. At least for a month or two, which could turn into forever. We have a 6 year old child together, so that makes it a bit challenging to fully cut off all contact, but if the only contact is around our child (and sorting out the divorce until that's settled) then I suppose that should still allow me to move on. Your advice is appreciated.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/03/25 05:11 PM
3	How to Behave I moved out because I was giving her space as that's what she asked for. I was hoping giving her space would allow her to realize she wants to work on things. But now she's asking for a divorce. So fairly quickly needing space turned into a separation and now a proposed divorce. Yes it's my house too. Should I move back in? Thanks for your advice, I'm working on my healing and moving on now :)	/r/Divorce_Men	30/03/25 05:09 PM
1	How to Behave Thank you. Yes I put a significant amount of sweat equity into the house for which I don't expect I will be compensated. The moment she brings another MN into the home will be the day I force her to pay me my share or sell the house to do so. The only reason I'm being reasonable is so our child doesn't need to be uprooted, although I know the house is more for my wife than my child, my child is resilient and can live anywhere be it a rental or whatever. You're right, choices do have consequences…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/03/25 05:05 PM
2	How to Behave I will add that we made an international relocation so that we could seek a better life. She found a job to allow us to do this. I gave up my job of 10 years so that we could do this. I got a contract for 1.5 years. We bought a house. Two weeks after my contract ended, and 2 weeks before we moved into our new house, she ended it. Asked me to leave. And now doesn't think she should have to pay alimony because she is broke (has debt owed for the house renovation still) and certainly can't afford t…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/03/25 08:59 AM
2	How to Behave I mean I have a key so I suppose I could just do it and not tell her. She is away on a business trip for 3 days in a couple weeks, I'm not sure what moving back into the house would solve aside from me not having to pay rent with the money I don't have after giving up my job of 10 years so we could move here for a "better" life.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/03/25 08:52 AM
5	How to Behave Thanks for the advice.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/03/25 03:49 AM