TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

formerbptherapist Archive

View 0 posts and 40 comments by formerbptherapist on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Krav maga and powerlifting.
/r/askTRP25/09/14 04:42 AM
1

Work out. Get some real hobbies. Do stuff you like. Don't look for validation. Validate yourself.
/r/askTRP25/09/14 04:40 AM
1

I'm going to guess she likes attention. You can give her attention, and keep her interested for a while, or you can withdraw it, and make her wonder. The latter has several advantages in that you don't waste your own energy on her when someone else is obviously willing to, and you can start forming better strategies for yourself with quality women.
/r/askTRP25/09/14 04:39 AM
2

Caveat: if the police break it up, the next sex you have might be in jail. Just sayin: be smart.
/r/askTRP25/09/14 04:28 AM
2

Walk up and dare him to do it again if he's such a man. Amplify.
/r/askTRP25/09/14 04:27 AM
1

You lost me at "heard she was gonna say ILU to me." Really man? Did she write a note during study hall? You can't put your foot down? Do you have a job? Do you know ANYONE you can crash with while you find a new place? Is your name on the lease? I'm sorry, man, but you need to get some serious self-determination in this situation. Decide what you really want. I would hate living that way. But make your own choice and live consistently with it, accepting the consequences. By checking her texts, y…
/r/askTRP25/09/14 04:23 AM
0

You say nothing. You find someone else. It's not calculus, man.
/r/askTRP25/09/14 04:16 AM
1

One question I have is this: what if "this girl" IS "wife"? I'd be interested in finding out how many guys have oneitis for their wives, because I'm increasingly convinced that it isn't really healthy or helpful in that context either.
/r/TheRedPill18/08/14 07:14 PM
2

When I went to grad school to become a therapist, we actually had to videorecord some roleplaying sessions with other aspiring therapists. It was fascinating to see how often we would all try to fill the silence, say something encouraging, lessen the impact of what we had just said, instead of just sitting and letting the words we HAD said carry their appropriate weight. You wait...wait...and wait...one thing that I have found, both professionally and personally, that makes a huge difference in …
/r/TheRedPill18/08/14 07:11 PM
2

College fraternities will indeed surround you with like-minded people, although that may make it LESS easy for you to maintain RP, since it won't be something you have to consciously decide. Growth happens through struggle. On the other hand, plenty of BP dudes in frats too, because it's easy to go with the flow and not internalize RP if it seems like the guys you hang with are like that. However, I will wholeheartedly endorse the Masons, as a Brother myself and a former member of the Shrine. Ye…
/r/TheRedPill18/08/14 04:29 AM
1

Nope. You can fail at what you really want just as well as at what you don't really care about. Why not fail with a hot girl instead of succeeding with a homely one? Also: Practice makes permanent. Do you want your sexual autobiography to be a history of settling for what is available (BETA) or do you want it to be a victorious epic? I think you know the answer. Don't settle. That's stupid.
/r/askTRP09/07/14 03:11 PM
1

Stand your ground. Make yourself slightly more unavailable than usual. Dont answer her calls or texts. Work out until you're exhausted. Sleep. Eat red meat. You need to not just hold frame but rebuild it.
/r/askTRP09/07/14 03:06 PM
1

The former therapist part of me wants to tell you to go easy on yourself, but who I am now says this: Success in life is largely based on the rules you set and how well you adhere to them. What kind of life do you want? You COULD try to take responsibility for her until she finally offs herself or does something less drastic but still serious. That way is the route to a life of exhaustion and sadess. Maybe you want that. If you don't, though, prove it. Decide the life you want to he living 1, 5,…
/r/askTRP22/06/14 05:45 PM
1

It's probably been said below, but just in case: At 23 you don't know shit about life. She may well be very nice and unspoiled and so forth. But so what? Do you have the internal game to pull off a LTR with her, as it sounds like you desire? If you're here asking for suggestions or help, I think you probably want to be that way but don't have the confidence for it yet. Doesn't mean you can't try, just that your expectations need to be realistic. Also: knock over that pedestal. Women, even the gr…
/r/askTRP18/06/14 06:45 PM
1

Only if you enjoy keeping up with drama.
/r/askTRP18/06/14 06:36 PM
2

What you do is remain consistent like granite. When you become who you want to be, who you were meant to be as a man, people will react to the change negatively or positively...sometimes both. This moment is your opportunity to really practice maintaining frame. None of that matters in isolation. This is where it counts for anything. Embrace the challenhe, and be the rock.
/r/askTRP18/06/14 06:35 PM
2

The only one who can keep her from depression and anxiety is HER. Shut down that overactive sense of responsibility. Next time she gets crazy with the anxiety and suicide talk, tell her you're calling 911. That is what responsible people do. End of list. Also, I don't care if she has a body worthy of its own shrine. No beautiful body is worth the crazy for anything longer than a ONS, and even then I'd recommend against it.
/r/askTRP18/06/14 06:30 PM
8

"She doesn't want to be your life, but to participate in your awesome life." Exactly. This is why it is so important to build the life you want, and to keep building it even if you are married or in a LTR. It can never EVER become about pleasing her. She doesn't want to be the Holy Grail to you, she wants to support you on your Grail quest.
/r/TheRedPill16/06/14 09:52 PM
11

Precisely. Also demonstrates to a woman that you've been willing to make a commitment, despite the irony that the commitmemt didn't actually work out.
/r/TheRedPill16/06/14 02:15 PM
2

The zenlike state of calm after a really good workout. Better than drugs.
/r/TheRedPill15/06/14 03:30 AM
2

Make your own decision. If it's what you want to do, fine. Just don't expect that by going down on her you "earn" anything (blowjobs, etc) for your effort.
/r/askTRP15/06/14 03:27 AM
4

You asked for advice, so here is mine: Don't go down on her. If you set the precedent early that you'll do that willingly, she'll expect it. Every. Time. Just because she's willing to have sex with you doesn't mean you should do anything. Make her earn that.
/r/askTRP14/06/14 05:23 AM
3

Perfect. (Said the former therapist.)
/r/TheRedPill13/06/14 10:00 PM
3

There's a lot more to it than that, primarily from training they received themselves. I often say that my MA in marriage & family therapy prepared me to see things from a woman's perspective, and to hold that perspective in higher esteem than my own male perspective. Truth is, I became a therapist because the one my first wife and I went to was awful on a personal and professional level. And to be more truthful yet, even my clients with whom I attempt to espouse Red Pill alternatives to their cl…
/r/TheRedPill09/06/14 11:01 PM
0

I won't be the one to file for it. But thanks for the advice.
/r/TheRedPill09/06/14 02:34 AM
17

Right on. The test I always give couples I counsel is "when you are going out to eat, do you get on Google and list every restaurant in a five mile radius, expecting her to pick?" It is incredible how many men do this because they assume it's the right thing to give her lots of options. Every time, I tell them to pick restaurants for the next week without asking her opinion. The women always say "I LOVE how decisive you have been!"
/r/TheRedPill08/06/14 09:37 PM
5

Totally needed this today. Wife told me yesterday that even though I've been "making changes" (aka exhibiting more RP behaviors), divorce will always be an option. Hard to hear that initially, but after some time spent reflecting on it, I realize again that I'm still pretty early in the journey, and that real improvement takes time. I start a new job tomorrow that will require so much more RP behavior and attitude than I have had before for success, but I'm getting more stoked every moment.
/r/TheRedPill08/06/14 03:29 PM
2

Man, this makes so much sense. My mother began the slow descent into dementia/alzheimers about a decade ago, and my ensuing behaviors (neediness for support etc) killed attraction in both my first wife and current wife. Was only at my strongest and best when I was divorced and single amd hanging out with guys from my lodge.
/r/TheRedPill08/06/14 04:54 AM
6

Agreed. Also, what I've observed is that men tend to look at the patterns of a partner's past more than women do, who tend to look more at future potential with greater scrutiny.
/r/TheRedPill06/06/14 07:37 PM
1

The Godfather
/r/askTRP05/06/14 09:23 PM
15

I'm an alcoholic, and I've found RP behaviors both more challenging and easier since I got sober. It involves more intentional proactivity now-I have to manage any anxiety without chemicals. Lots more lifting and meditation, and I'm far more clearheaded than ever before. I recommend martial arts as well.
/r/TheRedPill03/06/14 07:25 PM
3

When my car needs repairs, I don't take it to a dentist. I take it to a mechanic. When I need lifting advice, I talk to a trainer, not a McDonalds manager. If you want to take your problems to your woman, be my guest. If you want to solve your problems and feel better, you're going to have to take them to people (men) who can actually help you get where you want to go. Complaining is pointless.
/r/TheRedPill02/06/14 12:54 PM
5

I had a small party the day of my divorce that included scotch and cigars with a few other guys who had been through it too.
/r/TheRedPill02/06/14 12:32 PM
1

This. Dr Glover is incredibly insightful.
/r/askTRP01/06/14 03:53 PM
1

Hadn't discovered TRP at the time, but in retrospect, a woman I dated for 6 months who was definitely a feminist found my emerging RP behaviors more compelling than nice guy characteristics she claimed to prefer. Always believe action over words, gents.
/r/askTRP01/06/14 03:49 PM
5

Well said. As an art prof told me in college, "nobody becomes an artist by reading about art. You have to make it." Being a man means doing manly stuff, not just reading about being a man.
/r/TheRedPill01/06/14 03:30 PM
1

I found that pendlay rows and deads made the biggest difference in how I carried myself and my posture.
/r/TheRedPill01/06/14 02:10 PM
2

Great stuff. I'm also nover 6" tall, and it wasn't until I started Stronglifts that I felt more comfortable standing or sitting with good posture. In fact, as you mentioned, it actually hurts more now to not do so-to the point that we now have to get new living room furniture. But it does make a huge difference on my attitude and disposition as well. I am a lot calmer and more confident, can let stupid stuff roll off me like water, and have less tolerance for disrespect.
/r/TheRedPill31/05/14 02:02 PM
5

First response: there are no fast tracks or shortcuts. At least in my experience, TRP has been a paradigm shift more like turning a sailboat than turning a corner. It's happened by gradual degrees rather than immediately, and that's how long lasting change ultimately "sets" most firmly. With that said, however: I would not have made nearly the progress on this journey that I have without dependable male friends, and in that sense, I believe you are right in your assessment.
/r/TheRedPill29/05/14 10:00 AM
3

Well said, and I think the comments from the others are spot on as well. Having been through this with past girlfriends and with my wife (oh what a long story that is), and having discovered trp in the last year and having devoured every post and blog I can find, I will attest that most of what I learned in my training to be a marriage and family therapist has ended up at the curb. TRP, while discomforting and upsetting, will get you where you want to go if you work the program.
/r/TheRedPill28/05/14 08:07 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter