TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

formerlymyself Archive

View 2 posts and 83 comments by formerlymyself on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

I've thought a lot about this. In general, my first instinct is not to feel panicked or buy into any level of apocalyptic prognosticating. So far it has all been wrong. See e.g. Steven Pinker's Enlightenment Now. That book really helped me stop worrying about all this shit (and lots of other shit) to the extent I once did. And yet ... it seems difficult to imagine how automation and AI end up not having the effect of making vast numbers of people economically irrelevant and ultimately dependent.…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/18 06:50 PM
1

I would argue that this is an inevitable byproduct of extended adolescence and people not getting married until their mid-20s or later. Physically we are ready to reproduce after we go through puberty, and the drive during those years is high even though we are able to get through them without producing any actual babies. It's unrealistic to expect young men and women to be virgins until marriage or not to fall in love with anyone, since these are biological urges that are nearly impossible to s…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/18 05:33 PM
6

But the thing is, this happens too, all the time. (The reverse situation you described). How many average looking guys pined over beautiful girls in high school and/or college and end up settling for their looksmatch later? I can think of several I know off the top of my head. Does that mean they don’t love their wives now? No. It means they grew up, accepted reality, and decided to be happy anyway. I don’t think either party need feel insulted by this process.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/18 01:20 PM
1

I've been married for 15 years, so I've not chased anything for quite some time now. Perhaps it is the perspective that comes with age that has allowed me to accept, insofar as I can, the fact that life is not fair. Some people are born with advantages that others can only dream of. Everyone should maximize their happiness to the extent that they can and in whatever ways they can, because we only get one life, and it would be a shame to waste the time we're given on resentment when we could be l…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/18 12:05 PM
2

I’m not disagreeing that it’s an asymmetrical situation and that getting sex-only interest is better than no interest. I’m always surprised by how incels resent my comments, as I’m probably more sympathetic to their plight than most precisely because I understand what it’s like to be found wanting for something over which one has little control. People with attractive faces generally have no concept of how much better they are treated than people with less pleasing faces. (Because everyone wants…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/18 07:59 PM
1

Take yourself out of the RP mindset for a moment. Think back to before you knew any of this. What were your life goals? How did you envision your future? What do you really want? Think about yourself at 50, 60, 70. Because the likelihood is that you will live that long. How do you meet your emotional needs? Can you still see that working 30-50 years down the line? What is important in life as a whole (not just right now)? ​ If, like most people, what you really want is a family, don't let fear o…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/18 02:13 PM
3

Based on the visual aid, 5, then and now (if comparing to women my same age, although I might still be a 5 regardless) early 40s, counting everything about 30 (if only intercourse counted that number would be halved) first partner was actually quite similar physically to current partner, same height and build. personality totally different. first partner was a psychopath (nonviolent) and current partner is your prototypical "nice guy"/mensch. not really. the most important criterion is "shows in…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/18 01:43 PM
1

As a woman I can tell you this is absolutely 100% true for me. This is also why women who are promiscuous tend to be average to below average in appearance. Women who know they are attractive have no need for this type of external validation. I wish I had realized all of this in my 20s. But, I don’t know that it would have changed my behavior. As a below average looking woman (the dreaded butter face), I will forever be searching for the validation that by definition I can never truly have. I su…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/18 11:33 PM
2

Just that when you discover something for the first time, it's novel as well as pleasurable and that adds a dimension. Perhaps magical was not the right word to convey that. Both of said orgasms were solo, btw, although I would apply the same basic analysis to the first and most recent orgasms I had with partners. The novelty is gone but it's still pretty amazing.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/18 08:44 PM
7

Almost never. Like maybe once when I was recalling a particularly great experience during a less than great one. If my mind is elsewhere it’s more apt to be replaying my personal fantasies than anything that’s happened in real life. I’m married so my answer will probably be different from someone who’s still “out there.” I have been married so long that it’s difficult to recall the details of any but a few standout previous experiences. It seems to me that the only reason one would do this is if…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/18 12:43 PM
1

I was always a prolific reader until the past few years, so I set a goal for myself to read 13 books in 13 weeks this summer. I reached the goal and some of the books were amazing! The list: Lost Connections by Johann Hari The Fiery Trial by Eric Foner Suicide of the West by Jonah Goldberg Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt Enlightenment Now by Steven Pinker Killers of the Flower Moon by David Grann Cooked by Michae…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/18 08:53 PM
0

The thing is that when the First Amendment was written, governments actually had the power to control/censor speech. Given changes in technology since then, government plays much less of a role in regulating speech than it once did (although it could resume that role, as China and other governments do, by blocking internet content, were it not for the First Amendment). At the moment, the power of the major social media platforms renders them basically quasi-governmental in the practical effect t…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/18 03:51 PM
5

You're the only person on this thread who has touched on the fact that everyone else has uncritically accepted the valorization of paid work as a source of personal fulfillment, liberation, and usefulness to society. I am baffled both by this and by the idea that a life without paid employment is somehow stultifying. I'm a SAHM -- a choice jointly made by my husband and myself several years ago -- and I have never once been bored. I don't understand why anyone would work for the man unless they …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/18 10:19 PM
2

Female desire, mine anyway, is largely for male desire. Yes. This is exactly how I have always experienced my sexuality as well. I looked for the Times article you reference but didn't find anything that was just about that topic. The closest one was titled something like "There's Nothing Wrong with Your Sex Drive".
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/18 09:26 PM
1

I'm in my early 40s and this was quite commonplace when I was a young adult. It happened to me several times (that I became attracted to someone who was not a standout in the looks department because of some other factor) and I could probably think of countless examples of women I knew having this experience. TBH, I think that young people now are more looksist (if that is a word) than they were when I was in my teens and 20s. Photography and Hollywood started this phenomenon in the early 20th c…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/18 07:32 PM
2

^^^This.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/18 07:16 PM
1

Allergy shots. They take a while but they will work for the vast majority.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/18 06:56 PM
5

I've always been exceedingly glad to be a woman for a number of reasons. (Which is not to say that I have never had any gender-related struggles in life, quite the opposite). So, I agree with whoever said that while the top 10% of men might have it better than the top 10% of women, for the rest of the U.S. anyway, I think women have it easier than men overall. And even within the top 10% it's equivocal -- women still have more freedom in a lot of ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/18 12:07 AM
4

Well, I can give you one example. Every ONS I ever had was pursued for validation, not for sex. (I didn't know back then how thirsty men are or how low their standards are LOL). ONS sex isn't that enjoyable for most women, I would venture to say -- less likely to orgasm, almost certain to be drunken and in many cases not remembered all that well. Was I attracted to the men I had ONS with? Maybe a few of them, but I wasn't interested in relationships with them. Most I wasn't that attracted to. I …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/18 04:05 PM
1

Oh, I have no idea! I first heard it here so I thought it might be associated with RP, but it also wouldn't be surprising if it had been around for a long time.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/18 06:30 PM
2

I can't speak for all women, but I found the post about the three situations in which women initiate (ovulation, alcohol, and strong attraction) to be spot on for me. Otherwise, the other party needs to bring it and that's what I respond to. I don't know anything about the history of the idea, I just know it describes me quite accurately, and always has. I'm sure that many women experience sexuality differently.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/18 11:39 PM
1

Maybe obligated was the wrong word. It does tend to color things in a particular way.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/18 09:40 PM
1

We had only been together for 9 months at the time - we moved in together after 3 months of dating and married 6 months after that. We are the same age (he's 5 mos older but born in the same year) and we've been together 14 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/18 05:54 PM
3

In the U.S. at least, women strongly prefer daughters to sons. Many (perhaps most?) feel disappointed when they learn they are having a boy, and a second boy is crushing. This so-called "gender disappointment" can lead to depression, or even to the use of methods to attempt to select for sex at conception -- both artificial methods such as IVF (which then allows for sex selection) and "swaying", a scientifically dubious collection of beliefs that various things such as timing of intercourse, die…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/18 05:42 PM
11

I can confirm this, at least in my case. My husband never complains about anything, least of all feminism. It's one of the most masculine things about him, interestingly. He is pretty beta in every other respect but he is stoic AF. So, I never had the occasion to rethink what feminism might be doing to men until I had four sons and started to experience for myself, as their carrier and caretaker, the widespread prejudice against boys. Well, I should not say never. I had had thoughts along the li…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/18 06:55 PM
18

The thing is, not everyone is going to be as attractive as they wish they were. All of this kvetching about AF/BB is nothing more than men who lack the traits that are considered most desirable by the culture in which they live expressing the pain that lacking these traits causes them. I get it -- I'm a not-beautiful woman, and I hate what I see in the mirror every goddamn day. I am painfully aware of exactly how poorly I have been treated my whole life by both sexes because I got the shit end o…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/18 12:10 AM
5

What if the marriage isn't sexless though? Do you believe it's impossible for a woman to both "settle" for someone who has a higher RMV than SMV and also continue to have sex with him on the regular? FTR I think that the causes of deadbedrooms are often more complex than a simple "she never found him sexually attractive", but even putting that to the side for the moment, if most marriages involve women setting for BB and yet not anywhere near all of them are DB, what of those BB marriages where …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/18 11:33 PM
3

Ding ding ding, we have a winner.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/18 05:41 PM
1

Just read through all the responses and I have a different perspective than most. I am 42, and I am having a very difficult time dealing with signs of aging. And I was not ever that attractive as a young woman either -- on the 4chan scale I would say I was a 5, perhaps on some occasions a 6 all dolled up. That mainly by virtue of the fact that I've never been overweight and I can pass for not having a facial deformity from most angles. This is the biggest myth I've heard, that for women who were…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/18 06:26 PM
1

I haven't seen that, but I find the idea of being verbally asked for consent to be a huge turnoff. I'd be like no and GTFO. I guess that's considered old school now, but in my day (ha ha, I love saying that, it's one of the only fun things about being old) I had never heard of such a thing. The only time I was ever asked for consent, and that was for a kiss not sex, it killed all attraction to that guy (he was otherwise quite beta, so ymmv). To me, if you have to ask, you're doing it wrong. If I…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/18 09:36 PM
4

I have 4 children and I have to dispel this myth that pregnancy causes weight gain. It absolutely does not. Using pregnancy as an excuse to eat whatever you want causes weight gain. Loose skin and stretch marks, yes, those are often caused by pregnancy. Fat gain is 100% preventable.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/18 05:03 PM
7

^^^This. I live in the DC metro area and professional women here would be surprised to hear that age 35 is the cutoff for fertility, as most wait UNTIL 35 to have their first child and many have babies into their 40s. Some with treatment, for sure, but many more without. My paternal grandmother had my dad at 45. Her other children were born when she was 33 and 39 -- and she'd been married since she was 16 (she was born in 1902 so this was common at the time). My children were born when I was 31,…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/18 11:40 PM
2

I've tried therapy about half a dozen times in my adult life and never felt helped by it. I find that therapists have a Pollyannaish approach to life that elides a lot of basic truths about the world as I experience it. People who go into this line of work clearly experience life differently than I do, and that's fine, but they don't have to live inside my body or my mind and thus they can't really tell me anything I don't already know. All they can do is disagree with my thoughts and feelings. …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/18 11:27 PM
2

Any thoughts on when this started happening? I haven't been on this sub or a regular Reddit user that long, but in terms of this type of behavior on social media (immediate excommunication of anyone who deviates from the party line), I saw a definite shift after November 2016. I've been shocked and dismayed by the illiberal behavior of my left-leaning friends in the past 18 months. Was this happening on Reddit prior to that?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/18 03:54 PM
2

This resonates a lot with me because I'm in a relationship where the gender roles are somewhat flipped. My husband is the one who will always, always do things first. Empty the dishwasher, fold the laundry, whatever. It will get done if left to me, but it won't get done as quickly, or as perfectly (he won't let me do his laundry because I don't fold clothes as neatly as he does). I either don't notice or things don't bother me as soon as they do him. This was a major source of tension early on i…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/18 06:02 PM
5

I know TRPers hate the show. That's actually how I found TRP initially, a google search about SATC turned up a hate thread that taught me some of the lingo (CC especially). It was like a train wreck I couldn't look away from and now here I am agreeing with some of it (but not the CC part!).
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/18 10:18 PM
3

Sexual decline - erectile dysfunction, taking longer to finish, longer refractory period, etc. Sarcopenia & weight gain Loss of fitness, laziness Hair loss (and migration of hair to nose and ears, yuck) The good news is that other than hair loss (which I do not understand why science has not come up with a solution for this yet!), most of this is preventable or can be reasonably addressed through effort. Weight gain is not an inevitable part of aging, it is a choice that people make by following…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/18 05:43 PM
9

I was a big fan of SATC back in the day - I was in my 20s during its run, and we had watch parties and drank Cosmopolitans and smoked cigarettes. It was a 2000s thing, we were young, it was fun. I still love to watch reruns. But dude, no emotionally healthy person uses a television show as a template for her life. Plus did she not watch all the way to the end? All 4 women ended the show either married or in LTRs, and with the exception of Samantha it was clear from day one that that's what they …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/18 05:06 PM
9

I don't know if anyone else in this thread or in this sub is a SAHM - I am, so I thought I would offer some perspective on why a couple might make this choice for their family. I worked when my two oldest children were little. I was fortunate to be able to take off 6 months each with them and went back to working thereafter. Life was hard, for both of us. We split shifts - I got up super early and went to work, he went in later and did drop off at 9ish. I picked up at 6-630. We both had long com…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/18 09:01 PM
2

I am a woman and this is absolutely true for me. Spent years trying not to know or acknowledge it because it's not PC, but I'm too old now not to call a spade a spade. My life experiences 100% reflect this truth. Now if you had tried to say this to me 10 years ago, or god forbid 20 years ago, I would have denied the fuck out of it and I would have been sincere in my denial because I could not accept it yet. Whether this is true for all women, I have no idea. But it is true for some. Given that i…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/18 10:41 PM
2

Botox is preventative. It can slow the development of forehead lines, parentheses, crows feet, and the line between the brows. These lines develop because of repeated use of the muscles that make expressions. Botox prevents you from using these muscles as much as you otherwise would and therefore prevents the lines from forming. I didn't start until 41, but I didn't need it before that. I have also had a little filler. As we age, there is fat loss from the face that can lead to sagging skin and …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/18 12:47 PM
3

I will go a slightly different direction and say that many women do not often experience "raw physical attraction", at least not the way men do. So while I understand the question, it's the wrong question. The premise is that women experience attraction in roughly the same way men do, and we don't. Let me give you an example. Sam Heughan (who stars in Outlander) is a very attractive man. His bone structure is damn near perfect, and he clearly works very hard on his physique. I am a fan of the sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/18 08:48 PM
1

If they are both married to other people and have no intention of cheating.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/18 07:33 PM
2

There is a reason this is an iconic scene.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/18 07:31 PM
2

Trying a new diet is part of the problem. Maintaining a healthy weight in this obesogenic environment requires a mindset shift and permanent lifestyle change. It means accepting that you can't eat whatever you want as much as you want. It means learning about calories and how to satiate your hunger with the number of calories your (lean) body needs to sustain itself. It means giving up a lot of foods that do not help maintain a healthy body weight, except as rare treats. I don't know that it's e…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/18 05:41 PM
6

This. I would never date an overweight man. Like not even 20 lbs overweight. It just kills any attraction for me, and I have always felt that way. I don't require six pack abs or huge arms or any of that, I've always gone for a more slender body type for the most part. But fat is a hard no, and if I had the choice between being single or in a LTR with an obese man, I'd stay single. Body positivity is complete bullshit for women too btw. Being fat is a choice. It is absolutely 100% preventable ba…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/18 03:50 PM
1

Wow. This does not reflect my experiences with men at all. I consider myself unattractive (although apparently not so terrible as I never had much trouble finding boyfriends) so maybe that is why I have not experienced much harassment or any kind of assault. I have had many great men in my life, I hate that you have had such bad experiences. I have met some of the jerks you describe, but never had one in my life in any significant way.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/18 10:03 PM
3

That is letting themselves go. Pregnancy and birth do not have to result in anything more than a bit of temporary weight gain. Women use pregnancy as an excuse to pig out -- that's why they gain so much weight. (Source: personal experience. I had 4 pregnancies, never gained more than 25 lbs. with each one, and had no trouble losing the non-baby/fluids portion of that afterwards with dietary restraint).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/18 09:13 PM
3

See reply above. Basically I prefer to be submissive but my SO is not really into that dynamic. He tries, but I can tell it doesn't come naturally to him. Also he is completely nonverbal and that doesn't really work for me either, I love words. Especially dirty ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/18 12:19 AM
1

It was not the reason I found TRP or was drawn to it, just an unanticipated side effect. I actually have never been on TRP subreddit more than once or twice, I have mostly learned about the philosophy through here. Although, I suppose one could argue that Outlander and even dumb old 50 Shades have been just as instrumental in getting me to this point. Maybe this is all just part of the zeitgeist.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/18 09:17 PM
2

Well, this is specific to me and my situation. I think RP sort of gave me "permission" to acknowledge what I really want sexually, and it is something that I don't think my SO is capable of giving. Hence, dissatisfaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/18 08:27 PM
9

In ways both perceptible and imperceptible. I look at men differently, and I am less satisfied with sex. This wasn't part of the question, but I look at myself even more critically than I did before, if that's possible. Honestly I think I was better off before I ever knew about any of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/18 11:36 PM
3

Being in a relationship where I am the one who is a doofus who doesn't fold the laundry correctly or do it fast enough and my husband is the one who does things in an exacting way has been interesting. He is an outlier among men and I am apparently an outlier among women, but it just goes to show that some of these personality traits are just that, and not necessarily a result of biological sex even if they correlate statistically with one sex or the other. Of course he does not yell at me about…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/18 12:29 PM
2

Me too. There's an episode of SATC (probably more than one, but one in particular I'm thinking of) where a friend of the four main characters marries a man she is clearly settling for and whispers in Carrie's ear that it's always better to marry someone who loves you more than you love them. I think a lot of women do this. Strictly speaking, I did this, quite consciously. I considered it part of the process of "growing up." Fortunately things evened out fairly quickly and have stayed balanced ov…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/18 11:13 PM
1

The only one I can think of (and this does not speak well of me) is that my husband is much more of a neat freak and talented housekeeper than I am. His closet is immaculate, with every hanger spaced equally apart and color coded. His drawers are organized and when he folds clothes it looks like he uses a folding board and works at the Gap. He will always be bothered by dirt and mess before I will. He will get any cleaning out of the way first thing whereas I will procrastinate. In other words, …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/18 01:29 PM
2

And this is where feminism and I parted company. I don't see how buying into the whole career ambition rat race is helpful to humanity. I question some of the most basic premises of our culture, including the entire idea of working outside the home (for anyone) and, you know, capitalism. I accept that this model of paid employment outside the home is here to stay, but I personally don't want any part of it. I don't think the idea of "financial dependence on a man" is as damning as you think it i…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/18 01:12 PM
1

Hahaha, sorry about that. I'm recovering from surgery and was high on painkillers when I wrote that, so I was doing a stream of consciousness thing. Normally I would have edited better.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/18 12:40 PM
3

What's sad is that I have a "friend" (longtime acquaintance is probably more accurate) who has two sons and it hasn't changed her mind at all. She loves her sons but she sees their maleness as something she needs to mitigate because they are inherently oppressors in her eyes. And another friend who has two sons and a daughter, she hasn't changed much either. Both were disappointed that they were having boys, as are most American women, at least white women. For me, the process of having boys and…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/18 09:35 PM
2

Well, there is certainly a range of views about what feminism is, almost to the point that the word has lost meaning because there is so much disagreement over what it means to be feminist. The context I came from is that I went to an Ivy League law school and lived in DC at the time I had my first child. I was considered too young, at 31, to be having a baby (there was/is(?) an unwritten expectation that you wait till 35 and have no more than 2 children), and while it was considered semi-accept…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/18 05:50 PM
67

I dislike that feminists refuse to recognize that in some aspects, women/girls have things easier/better than men/boys. They have this narrative going that men are always the oppressors and women are always the victims. This does not match reality in the United States but they still feel the need to twist everything to fit their preexisting worldview rather than seeing things as they are. I certainly believe in legal equality and that neither sex is inferior to the other, but that doesn't seem t…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/18 02:47 PM
3

I will never forget how I found it. Sex and the City was one of my favorite shows as a young 20something, and last year when I was recovering from surgery I rewatched it for the first time in a long time from beginning to end. I first came to Reddit to obsessively discuss TV shows that I love, so I did a search to see if there were any discussions of SATC and came upon a thread (not even in TRP itself, but on some other sub) where I was introduced to some of the concepts -- CC, AF/BB, etc. I was…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/18 05:08 PM
3

I don't know that he is out of my league. I think we are pretty evenly looks matched. I do love cats though!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/18 12:36 PM
2

Absolutely! First of all, it is important to note that this is not a conscious process. At all. It is just something that is hardwired in us, we are attracted to beauty and repulsed by ugliness. If another woman is ugly, we are much less likely to want to be friends with her. I do this myself, so it is not like I'm holding others to higher standards. I have noticed over the course of my life that I need to let people come to me and take the lead in relationship formation. When I do the choosing,…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/18 12:33 PM
2

I appreciate this response and it makes sense. Despite my looks, I always had my share of boyfriends, hookups, and interested parties (even if they were only interested in sex, there was still interest). I do understand the asymmetry of the situation and the egalitarian in me wishes it was not so.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/18 12:20 PM
2

I wish I had known all of this when it mattered! Fortunately I still ended up in a good place.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/18 12:14 PM
1

Ha! I hope I won't need another. I count myself extremely lucky to have gotten the one I did.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/18 12:13 PM
1

In my opinion, I was always unattractive. Like not just "average looking" but truly odd. Not disfigurement level, just a bad combination of features. Like I got my dad's nose but not his jaw and chin that balanced it out. However, I was certainly more attractive then than now just by virtue of being young. I am doing plenty of upkeep and surgery, but aging makes everyone uglier. It is super depressing.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/18 12:12 PM
3

Yes, and this was my experience. At the time, I thought it was something about my personality that was causing me to be the type of girl one did not bring home. I was so delightfully naive.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/18 12:04 PM
3

Well, in fairness this all happened almost 20 years ago, well before these ideas were on many people's radar screen. I was very much ensconced in feminist ideology at the time and none of what I was experiencing was really compatible with that. It took me many years to crawl out of that hole and accept that biological realities tend to supersede lofty ideals.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/18 11:33 PM
7

Thank you for the detailed response! This is exactly what I was looking for.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/18 11:29 PM
9

Thank you! I think so too.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/18 11:00 PM
5

I do feel terrible about that relationship, although he married soon after we broke up and by all accounts is happy with his life. I had zero idea what was going on at the time - only now do I "get it". However, I am happy, sexually and otherwise, in my marriage. So, not miserable. And not that big a fan of ice cream. ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/18 10:58 PM
3

Definitely agree with that. A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing. I think being happy involves some degree of obliviousness, whether willful or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/18 10:53 PM
3

I've had more cosmetic surgery than most people would consider reasonable (5 procedures and counting). There are limits to what can be achieved if bone structure is flawed. Cosmetic surgery works best for people who have one bad feature, like a big nose on an otherwise attractive face. But yes, I think cosmetic surgery is the greatest thing going and more people should consider it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/18 10:52 PM
7

Hmmm, that's an interesting interpretation of what I said, which is that I'm happily married to a non-apex man. To the extent that I am miserable it is because I am treated poorly by others because of my looks (and women treat me much worse than men do TBH).
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/18 10:05 PM
3

There is no problem per se -- it's a theoretical question. I am wondering what a twentysomething woman with low RMV should do with this knowledge, in the view of RP folks.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/18 10:03 PM
15

Well, that was one of the thoughts underlying my question. Unattractive women are completely dehumanized in this school of thought, unless there is a "female friend zone" or similar. I am interested in what RP men would say about this, though -- would they admit that they consider unattractive women subhuman, or would they tell them to improve themselves to the best of their ability and then stay in their lane?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/18 09:56 PM
4

For the purposes of this question, I am assuming that she is interested in marriage and children. (Just because that's what I personally was interested in).
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/18 09:52 PM
1

I think there is a difference between only finding a small number of men attractive walking by them on the street or seeing a photo online (in other words, with no context) and saying that anyone who doesn't meet that bar is not dateable. As several have said above, looks are only one part of attraction. I don't know that I would go on a date with anyone, no matter what he looked like, without knowing more about him first. For me, intelligence is #1. Without that, I'm not interested, I don't car…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/18 11:06 PM
1

I had the same experience in high school the one time I tried pursuing a guy I was interested in. Objectively, he was perhaps a 3 -- chubby, a ginger, snaggletooth, just odd looking. (I would say I was a solid 5, so it would have been dating up for him on the basis of looks alone). But he was super smart and had a good sense of humor, so I was attracted to him on the basis of personality. We did end up going out once, but it was clear he wasn't interested and he talked shit to his friends about …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/18 01:51 PM
2

I can attest to this. It's a class issue. My circles aren't particularly religious, but are UMC to UC. Children outside of marriage is something poor people do, with the exception of UC single mothers by choice and avant garde couples in large metropolitan areas. This is both empirically true and reflects the attitude of most UC people. Besides which, how is having a child with a woman outside of marriage any less risky? The relationship can still break up and the child will be entitled to child…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/18 12:57 PM
1

I don't believe I ever was with a Chad, actually (assuming I understand the meaning of the term correctly). Most of the guys I dated were average looking just like me. I won't say that I was never "shallow", but not in the way you are thinking. No, I was referring to times where I acted less honorably than I might have, from immaturity or a quixotic quest for validation or carelessness toward the feelings of another. But I gather from your response that you have bought into this worldview so tho…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/18 09:47 PM
2

So here's the thing ... you're not wrong about many things being heritable, or about the standards of attractiveness that reward some and punish others on the basis of nothing but pure luck being cruel, or about some young women being shallow and immature in their dealings with young men. I'm a woman, who was never above a 6 on my very best days, who made many questionable decisions in my love/sex life as a young adult, but who has been happily married for 13 years to an average-looking man, and…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/18 06:59 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter