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fortheloveof_pete Archive

View 0 posts and 23 comments by fortheloveof_pete on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

This is what I do if I’m not feeling it. Every single man I’ve had that conversation with has been completely taken aback and appreciative, which made me realize just how common ghosting is. It only takes a few minutes to send a text like the one above, and the sooner in the dating process, the better.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/23 07:17 AM
3

Out of curiosity, what about those women who didn’t rob their ex blind (turned down alimony and child support), coparent well & genuinely like ex and his fiancé (he’s excited about getting married again, bless his heart) and seriously dislike the way women behave toward men these days? The women who have zero interest in remarrying or cohabitation, are focused on work and parenting, date casually, and definitely don’t fit in on r/Divorce, r/singlemoms, etc? I relate much more to the issues/advic…
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 03:46 PM
1

We’re out here, but we’re likely a minority. 50/50 custody of teenagers, great relationship with ExH and his fiancé, executive-level job, in shape and attractive. However, that comes with a lot of time spent working and parenting. I have no intention of ever marrying again, nor do I have any desire to cohabitate. Definitely no more children. I run into the same problem as you with the men I date. Either they want to move the relationship forward into cohabitation/marriage/more children, or they’…
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/23 09:56 PM
4

(The usual ‘I’m a woman’ caveat) That’s awesome that you’re trying new things! I’m sorry you had an awful experience with volleyball. Have you thought about martial arts? Jiu jitsu is a great avenue for adults looking not only to get in shape, but to find a community. You’ll find in most gyms that people are very welcoming of new people and understanding of them having no idea what’s going on - most of us also started as totally baffled newbies. I always feel that, thanks to our society, men in …
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/23 03:37 PM
2

I’m interested in why you’re being downvoted, as you appear to agree with the ‘men should be leaders’ view. Those who downvoted this post, is there something she said you find objectionable, or is it because she’s a woman? That’s the one thing I can never quite ascertain. Do you guys appreciate a woman’s perspective on your posts, or do you see this sub as more of a ‘men only’ place?
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 03:32 PM
3

Making the decision to move forward, as well as filing the DVRO, was absolutely the right move here. Make sure you contact your attorney and update him/her on recent events. One thing that you absolutely must do is educate yourself on dealing with high-conflict personalities. She is going to pull out all the stops now, and while you cannot control the drama she’s creating/will create, you do not have to participate in it. Let me say that again - you DO NOT have to participate in it. The grey roc…
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 09:17 PM
11

First, that’s absolutely awful, and I’m sure the last thing you needed at a time like that. Hope your son is doing better! Second, empowered women OWN. THEIR. SHIT. Too many women think being ‘empowered’ = ‘everything I do is justified because I’m female’. No. Not even close. Being empowered means you’re emotionally and mentally strong enough to accept your shortcomings AND the role they played in difficult situations. And then having enough humility to work on those parts of yourself. Because d…
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 03:53 AM
7

As a woman, can confirm. The things my married female friends have said about their husbands…
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 03:08 AM
12

As a (divorced) woman, I totally and completely agree with this approach to relationships. I never want to be in a situation where I feel like I can’t leave if things aren’t working. I never want a partner who doesn’t feel like he can walk away if things aren’t working for him. I want a relationship where we’re both there because we WANT to be, and both of us know that not putting in mutual effort is a nonstarter. That’s also why I will never again entangle my finances with anyone, nor will I li…
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 03:07 AM
3

100% agree (also a woman). Over the last few years my eyes have really been opened to how men are treated and viewed by society. No wonder there is such a high rate of suicide among men these days. It’s incredibly insidious. For example, other day the song ‘Any Man of Mine’ by Shania Twain came up on my shuffle, and I started singing along…and then my voice trailed off as I really HEARD the lyrics for how messed up they are. ‘And I can be late for a date that's fine/ But he better be on time’ ‘A…
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/22 01:14 PM
1

Divorces are (obviously) highly emotional for both spouses, but immediately viewing your soon to be ex as the enemy sets a bad tone for the entire process. Don’t be naive - talk to a lawyer, be cautious, and be aware of your state’s laws. You can, however, do all that without immediately deciding your spouse is the enemy.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/22 03:56 AM
1

We did the same regarding what we estimated our children would need financially, and agreed on how to divide costs. I didn’t ask for child support or alimony. However, at that time I was making less than him, so he offered to keep the kids on his health insurance to even things out more, which was great. That stipulation was written into our divorce agreement. Then six months down the road his employer switched carriers and the cost of family health insurance doubled. I offered to switch the kid…
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/22 03:51 AM
1

Not a lawyer, but my ex husband and I had a similar situation. We agreed on 50/50 custody, and I told him I didn’t want child support or alimony. In our case, we didn’t use lawyers and filed together, as our divorce was amicable. When we went before the judge, she looked everything over and did ask me if I was 100% certain that I didn’t want child support or alimony. I confirmed that I did not, and then she signed the papers and we were good to go. Definitely talk to a lawyer, however, as proces…
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/22 03:43 AM
1

I’m one of the few females on here, so know that you’ve got support from both sides of the aisle 🙂
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/22 06:07 PM
2

Absolutely! That support is absolutely crucial during this time. Reaching out to people is one of the best things you can do. It sounds like you’ve made a great start, and you’ve already seen what being proactive can do to diminish those feelings of being powerless and stuck. You’ve absolutely got this.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/22 03:37 PM
3

This is something I’ve really become concerned about. The men I know who are unhappy in their marriages or who are already in the divorce process are either afraid to reach out to friends and family for support or have a limited support circle due to not being able/allowed to maintain friendships during their marriage. Regardless of why they’re unhappy in their marriage or why they are getting divorced, they’re almost unilaterally afraid that they’ll be painted as the bad guy. That lack of suppo…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/22 05:13 PM
2

Appreciate it!
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/22 05:00 PM
2

Very much agree. When either I or my ex-husband are asked about our divorce and we say it was amicable, the reaction is always surprise. We’ve had a disconcerting number of people tell us that they don’t know of ANY other amicable divorces, which is disheartening. My motivation for trying to make our divorce as amicable as possible was that my parents had an extremely high conflict divorce when I was young, and it was very traumatic for me and my siblings. During our divorce process, I was prepa…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/22 04:59 PM
6

‘Happy wife, happy life’ is, quite honestly, one of those phrases that’s not only distasteful, but harmful. It’s led to a societal view that men’s goal in a marriage is to keep their wife happy if they want to have a good marriage, and a good life. Not only does it market her needs as a priority over his, it implies that a husband is responsible for if his wife is happy or not. This leads a lot of men to believe that their needs in a marriage are secondary, and that if they only did this or that…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 07:04 AM
3

Where does it say men only? As I understand, this is a support group for men going through divorce. My reply to your post was insight from a woman who has been on the other side of this situation regarding talking to a female coworker about your divorce. It was intended to be supportive, and thoughtful.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 06:52 AM
5

Absolutely, I’ve seen a lot of men be dragged through the bushes in a divorce. I think the hard part for you (general ‘you’ as in, the men here) is that you’re often at a disadvantage in a lot of ways that are more subtle or socially acceptable. Earlier someone mentioned the ‘he walked out on his family’ stigma, and while that’s not mentioned as often as financial damage or custody issues, I think it is one of the most insidious parts of the divorce process. It can hold men back from deciding to…
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/22 10:13 PM
3

Female perspective on #1 - In the past, I’ve had male coworkers ask for my perspective/advice on their pending divorce. You should be aware not to be flirtatious, but also don’t be overly stressed about how you’re coming off. If you’re professional and respectful in your day to day interactions with that female coworkers, simply approach your request for advice the same way. I WOULD advise you to be aware of what’s generally accepted at your office in regard to sharing about your personal life, …
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/22 08:06 PM
19

As a female (former?) lurker, sometimes I think I should post about my amicable divorce in which my ex-husband didn’t ‘get annihilated’ (his words) to remind men that it can happen. Albeit rarely. You won’t find me advocating for anyone to marry again, though. Honestly, I think the secret to a good relationship is not only not being married, but not living together, either. But I digress.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/22 07:04 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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