| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | How to become a HVW?Lots of good advice here already! I would also recommend reading Heather Haverilsky's writing. A few years back I discovered her while at the end of a bad relationship. Reading her Ask Polly columns was a big part of my turning point to live a life I love and accept and love myself. Wish you the best in your journey. The fact that you started a thread seeking help is great ❤️❤️❤️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/05/21 04:08 PM |
| 10 | Here's a tool my therapist provided me with to keep myself grounded during dating!Interesting! I feel like this technique could apply for jobs, where to live etc too. Nice way to zoom out & see the big picture | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/05/21 03:40 PM |
| 2 | Don't date when you have low self esteemFor sure. A lot of good links to psych professionals explaining issues are posted on the main thread here too.so helpful. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/04/21 02:38 PM |
| 2 | Attachment TheoryI hope you find a good therapist and can get some relief. Knowing there is a problem that you want to change is an important step. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/04/21 02:34 PM |
| 16 | Attachment TheoryTherapy and finding secure relationships, especially with female friends. Mindfulness too. Being able to recognize my patterns and my family's helps me avoid a bad cycle of anxiety, avoidance, etc. You're always a work in progress of course but tools and success in other relationships make that work so much easier. I've also loved reading Heather Haverilsky's stuff, especially Ask Polly. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/04/21 04:01 PM |
| 23 | Don't date when you have low self esteemYeah I had a similar experience early on in the pandemic. The isolation combined with general insecurities made me more vulnerable than I realized. No matter what leveling up is the way to better self esteem and strength when confronted with any bad situation but especially a low-life PUA. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/04/21 03:56 PM |
| 10 | What Is FDS position on Matchmakers?"arranged dick" 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/21 03:23 PM |
| 7 | What Is FDS position on Matchmakers?Whaaaa 50k? Yeah invest that. Thanks for sharing too. Recently someone suggested matchmaking to me as opposed to online dating and it just sounded like a waste of money. You know all the guys who do use matchmaking services also have a free account on Tindr et al. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/21 03:23 PM |
| 28 | Something my coworker said that git me thinking ( upset)Yeah I was thinking along this line too. Certainly it probably varies but the desire to maintain control happens in the context of a society in which your body is not seen as your own. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/21 03:12 PM |
| 8 | ‘I Want a Wife’ by Judy Syfers Brady - Ms Magazine, December 1971Yep. Actually had a dude say just that to me on a date. Scared me straight that's for sure. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/04/21 08:28 PM |
| 2 | ‘I Want a Wife’ by Judy Syfers Brady - Ms Magazine, December 1971Second yes please! Also for the fashion. I low key love the 70s | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/04/21 08:26 PM |
| 5 | The only D you need is Dignity (and sometimes Divorce)Yes! And so glad you included dogs! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/04/21 08:16 PM |
| 21 | Quick Reminder On BoundariesThis is tough for me too. And I especially identify with what you say about preferring depth to shallowness. One of the ways I find myself giving too much away is because I'm not a big fan of small talk or I'm anxious to create a connection. I've found mindfulness work to be pretty helpful. The more I can get myself to hit "pause" and listen or wait for a response the less I feel inclined to overshare. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/04/21 08:08 PM |
| 11 | Context: the boyfriend has sex with other women for OnlyFans and promotes it on TikTok. The girlfriend says she is “happy”. Comments are saying “y’all mad you get cheated on for free while they’re in a healthy relationship with boundaries, trust, and more money than you” 🤦♀️Seems like it would be best to report this guy (is that possible?) as inappropriate content. Tiktok shouldn't be a crossover platform for porn sites. Also why post this vid on fds? I just feel sad when I see it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/04/21 04:29 PM |
| 15 | Don't let outdated research and 'biological clock' concerns be a reason to rush the vetting process.Word on egg freezing + fears. My friends and I all get the ads for it online. Also agree if employers pay for it that's a game changer | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/04/21 05:33 PM |
| 23 | Don't let outdated research and 'biological clock' concerns be a reason to rush the vetting process.No kidding! Glad to see this. Several of my family members from grandma to aunts had their last kids between 37-41. When my other grandma had her last kid, at aged 30, she said the doctor kept saying things like "you know at your age" and that was in the 1970s. So it's about time we used science and data to inform our understanding fertility. It's not going to be the same for everyone that's for sure but pinning an arbitrary # is harmful not to mention stupid. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/04/21 05:29 PM |
| 23 | Living life according to expectations of society is not a protection from loneliness.Yes! This. Need to watch the show now | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/04/21 09:16 PM |
| 8 | Found out he watches porn, kicked him out at 1:30amThat's really difficult but good on you & thanks for sharing. I'm sure your cat is happier now too | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/03/21 12:22 PM |
| 8 | Found out he watches porn, kicked him out at 1:30amYep. A couple guys I've met now (late twenties - early thirties age). Not that I spent much time with the last one after I figured it out but based on observation my guess is that porn is like a security blanket. Feeling anxious or stressed? Watch porn. Bored in traffic? Watch porn. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/03/21 12:20 PM |
| 6 | Emu avoids LVM. (Artist link in caption)This amazing! thanks for sharing :D | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/21 05:15 PM |
| 8 | What’s your opinion on Jordan Peterson?Yeah I think Contrapoints does a good job of de-fanging him here. I checked out 12 Rules for myself and from what I could tell it's nothing new. But agree when you point out that being right about a lot of basic things means we need to read critically. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/21 09:48 PM |
| 8 | Let's spread some hope and remember there ARE HVM out there! :)Oh I'm that clumsy too 😳! Thanks for sharing | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/12/20 08:11 PM |
| 2 | Lady Justice is a woman but so are the FuriesYeah If he messed up with them he was messing with the cosmos. Also they are another of the archetypal trios of powerful women | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/20 03:44 PM |
| 2 | Combatting touch starvationOh for sure! Thanks for bringing this up. I find having a small dog is a great source of comfort. Also massage Being aware helps and also just reminding myself that things can be difficult but absolutely will get better again. It helps to read & share here. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/20 03:36 PM |
| 19 | Some green flags that I have noticed with my current dating partner.Yay! Thanks for sharing. Happy for you and your guy | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/20 03:12 PM |
| 5 | Self-inflicted emotional injuryI'm sorry you're feeling like this. It will get better. We all backslide sometimes. Wishing you well and hope you get back to the place where you feel your power very soon. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/12/20 06:56 PM |
| 15 | First year I have invited a female friend to my family Christmas instead of a boyfriend; the difference is insane.Yay! Good friends are the best. Hope you all have a wonderful and relaxing holiday. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/12/20 06:03 PM |
| 12 | Forever girlfriend tricked on the radioI think that is horrible and would for sure stop listening to the show. Pranking someone like this is just a cover for abuse that is somehow mainstream and acceptable. I hope I would never be close to anyone who would do something like that to me but if they did I'd be packing the minute I hung up the phone and out of there twice as fast. Asshole can post on AITA if he needs clarity. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/12/20 06:02 PM |
| 5 | Do any of you have HVM dads?My dad and grandpa, also most of my uncles--- makes me wonder what ever made me settle but it's complicated, of course. Now that I'm more aware I see just how lucky I was to grow up feeling love, protection, and respect from almost every single one of the men in my family. I wonder if it made me more naieve... Anyway just to give an example my dad has been there for my mom and me through everything. He's a provider and I've seen him stick with my mom through really tough times. Even though he ca… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/12/20 01:35 AM |
| 2 | In need of support 😥Virtual hug! You are describing a such difficult situation but you also sound smart af about it. Give yourself room to be human. We all fall off the wagon sometimes but the fact that you are aware and reached out is so important. Take care and be sure to do some extra fun and nice things for yourself rn I know this isn't exactly a tip for getting over someone but lately I've been finding that remembering that things pass helps a lot. It hurts now but you will look back on this knowing you did wh… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/11/20 06:34 PM |
| 2 | How Are You Happier (Even If Single) After FDS & How Has FDS Short&Long-Term Changed Your Life?Yes! I mean the thought of bringing a kid into the world after settling. So much better to wait. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/11/20 12:22 AM |
| 2 | How Are You Happier (Even If Single) After FDS & How Has FDS Short&Long-Term Changed Your Life?Mainly fds reconfirms some of my ideas about dating with intention and gives me support in following thru. 36 & single fwiw and done pretty much all the things but happy to remember life is a journey and my value as a person is not determined by outside factors. I'm definitely at a high point in my life all things considered rn (covid and so on) and was really happy to find this sub recently. Also just nice to share support with other women here ❤️ cheers, queens! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/11/20 12:20 AM |
| 12 | DON'T close convo's with a X or ❤️🥰👄💋🌹😘Eeek! Have not seen looks like a furby 😳 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/11/20 08:43 PM |
| 1 | More traits of a HV Husband, Father, and SonHe sounds like a great guy in every way! Thanks for sharing the details so we remember what's possible. And cheers to you and your family. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/11/20 03:54 PM |
| 10 | This is an AD I always see for Hinge (OLD). Hinge is showcasing, encouraging, and promoting LVM behavior. Stay away queens.😂 reminds me of "Subway" on Community | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/11/20 03:33 PM |
| 6 | You only get one chance with Edna, Be like Edna. ☺️HA! Love this | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/11/20 12:17 AM |
| 3 | Looool!! Pickmes be looking like a clown!Aw thanks ❤️❤️❤️ you're so right about loving someone even tho they might not be a good match. Tonight self care means re-watching Great British Bake off and playing with my pup | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/11/20 12:02 AM |
| 2 | Todays men on OLD wan’t Penpals?!Even in covid times if the topic of what you are comfortable with (meeting in person or digitally like on zoom) moving onto next doesn't come up in 1-2 short conversations they're not serious. I have a cut off of 1-2 non-simultaneous conversations. Either they make an effort to ask me out in some fashion after we chat once or twice or I say "it was nice chatting, lalala but no more thanks" or, more often b/c I'm on Hinge I just un-match with them. Good luck! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/11/20 08:17 PM |
| 10 | Looool!! Pickmes be looking like a clown!similar situation here. trying to see this time as me detoxing. good luck, sis. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/11/20 08:08 PM |
| 2 | A reminder from the Baggage Reclaim Queen, Natalie Luesame! therapy has been very helpful to me. I still have the doubts but more tools to address them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/10/20 04:15 PM |
| 11 | The irony of this post is that the comments are full of people saying that they had experienced abuse and were using BDSM as a coping mechanism. The lack of self awareness and denialism within the kink community is just astounding.Awesome! Looking forward to what you share | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/10/20 02:52 PM |
| 2 | HVM actionsThanks for sharing! It means a lot to hear a positive experience and I'm happy for you and your guy. Hope I can do the same one day but in the meantime v much appreciate your story & the community too | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/10/20 06:25 PM |
| 1 | Neurochemical reasons why a woman should not sleep with a man until after he has fallen in love with her, and how to train your brain to fall out of love (hint: block and delete scientifically works!)Same. That was me too for 8 mo with a guy who constantly talked about his ex wife. 🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/10/20 12:20 AM |
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