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View 3 posts and 94 comments by fruitpunchsam on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
223

MINDSET SHIFTfruitpunchsam/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 05:53 AM
192

LESSON LEARNEDfruitpunchsam/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 10:23 PM
30

FDS MOVIES & TVfruitpunchsam/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 03:52 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
74

This needs to be LOUDER. Just taking BLM as an example, who created the original #BlackLivesMatter hashtag? Black women. I think it's telling that the most well-known figures within BLM are men, but that doesn't mean it's "led by men." As Obama has mentioned in his experience as a community organizer, it's often older women who end up stepping up to get things done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/22 12:40 AM
2

Sure, though I know for a fact that the understanding gap between myself and the super rich Asians I know (not Crazy Rich level, just very very wealthy) is far smaller than the gap between myself and white people in general. Granted I'm firmly middle class, and this is just my personal experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/22 11:03 PM
19

I am Asian American, of East Asian descent. Essentially I'm only willing to date East and some Southeast Asian men. I think you need to consider what you need in a relationship that's specific to you, beyond the bare minimum, because men of all ethnicities suck. I don't date Asian men because I think they'll treat me better, I do it because I think they understand being Asian in a way that non-Asians don't and never will. That is very important to me for personal reasons but it may not be to you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/22 05:19 AM
10

I think this is a great idea and I want to point out that "leveraging your looks" has NOTHING to do with conforming to a mainstream version of beauty. It's about using what you feel best exemplifies your ideal visage. Maybe your ideal version of you is just you in a T-shirt, shorts, and comfortable sneakers. I think the point of this post is that when your looks (whatever they are!) show themselves as a major asset to you in whatever situation, to not feel guilty for their being an asset. Simple…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/22 04:42 PM
73

For looking at Asian men: ask them what they think of Glenn from The Walking Dead, and if they tell you they think it's so cool that he dated a white girl, get rid of him. Steven Yeun talks about this a bit in his NYT interview if you're curious for his take. As an Asian woman I simply do not date white men period, in part because I cannot tell them apart visually despite growing up in America and seeing white faces in all my media. I have no issue telling which ones have weird personalities, I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 03:57 AM
89

I really appreciate your posting this. It's an important example of the specific challenges that Black women face in building up their self esteem, which is so crucial for dating safely. I see this as a very dating-related post, because it addresses a key part of dating (although others may not agree). I didn't know who Cori was before this post, but I'm rooting for her as well. I bet you're spot on about her dad's misogynistic views being part of the harm—I'm sure her female relatives have thei…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 02:53 AM
78

I have nothing but contempt for the way Kim built her brand off Black women. I'm not about to give her my money or follow her social media and I never plan to. HOWEVER, I recognize that her womanhood is the reason Kanye's harassment is taken as a joke and I am willing to push back against the narrative. Like, there are many men of color who have harmed me or other WOC. But I can recognize when they're being oppressed by way of their non whiteness and talk about that, even if I have no respect fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 04:00 PM
0

My first-ever ex told me in high school, before we started dating, that he had no idea why women liked men or wanted to have sex with them, because men are so disgusting. He's also disgusting, but it's a statement I'll never forget. Textbook case of getting it straight from the horse's mouth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/22 07:49 AM
24

At this point, I don't think whether it's legally considered harassment really matters. Even if it is, HR/management seems unwilling to do anything and like I said, suing is costly. Your best bet is to leave as soon as possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 05:34 AM
49

Yes, this is toxic. I dealt with things like this at my last job, stuff that wasn't explicitly sexual harassment but felt extremely uncomfortable, and I left once I saw that HR and management was not willing to do anything about it after my complaints. Get out, because it's unlikely your HR will do anything and suing is very difficult. My additional, very blunt advice, which extends beyond this particular situation, is that you need to start trusting your gut. The first incident with the mousepa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 04:40 AM
16

I agree with your sentiment. OP, you've got to get to a point where you don't even question whether stuff like this is bad. It's bad, full stop. Get out as soon as possible, because men who are this okay with showing you their depravity upfront are very likely to try something horrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 04:35 AM
1

Are you not yourself binning all Asians by saying that you're targeting Asian men...? Nothing you wrote negates what I said. Obviously every Asian ethnic group has different cultures. That doesn't change the fact that all Asians live in a white supremacist world and we have all been either directly colonized by white power (e.g., India and Hong Kong), ruled by people who were directly sponsored by white power (e.g., Iran and Taiwan) or driven into power by the fear of white power (e.g., the PRC)…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 05:40 PM
5

To be frank, I think it's strange that you're targeting an ethnic group for dating, unless it's because you're from that ethnic group or grew up in the community and desire the cultural similarities. Also, Indian men are Asian too - they have the same experiences with colonization and refugee crises that underscore Asianness in our current world. If you were targeting Asian men because you were under the impression that they have less intergenerational trauma than other ethnic groups...you shoul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 04:47 AM
6

Obviously, the experience is bad. I've only gone out with Asian men, so inevitably they've all had intergenerational trauma. As an Asian woman with my own trauma, I wasn't able to be a good romantic partner before seeking therapy for it. But men are unlikely to think that deeply about their trauma, which is a lose-lose situation. Not worth dealing with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 01:15 AM
2

Thank you for sharing this additional perspective! I'm still quite young and it's helpful to hear older women talk about how they organize their social lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 06:14 AM
25

I've been learning languages (my heritage language + Korean) and have always loved reading fiction and nonfiction. Currently on "An Ugly Truth" and finished "Spirits Abroad" last month. I've been doing mat Pilates on and off for years and have been doing it regularly again for a few weeks. Also just ordered a watercolor bundle set and starting to learn simple flower doodles from YouTube today! In all seriousness, I think women are best served by having hobbies they're very dedicated to before da…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 02:21 AM
4

I've been a follower of this sub for a long time and considering the OG posts, I'm 99 percent sure FDS grew out of the hypergamy movement, which itself grew out of sugaring/escorting spaces. Originally, "value" referred to actual monetary value more than the holistic version of "value" within FDS. (By the way, this history is why I think it's important for us to be mindful of how we speak about women who sell sex. It's true that the fact that there are men who think sex should be on sale is abho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 04:33 AM
15

This is beautiful. I'm so glad you had those women in your life, and best of luck on your doctorate!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 04:23 AM
68

Just remember that literal unhoused men with no jobs or prospects also hit on women passing by them. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. I've seen absolutely gorgeous women with wonderful personalities also get hit on by crusty guys. It's just stinky male desperation, as per usual.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 03:56 PM
9

East Asian countries don't really have hookup culture but honestly you'd just be exchanging one form of misogyny for another. I'm Taiwanese American and 99 percent certain hookups are frowned upon in Taiwan, but misogyny is still rampant. Stuff like, my mom's cousin bought a wife from rural China and that's a perfectly acceptable thing. Korea's another place where hookup culture seems lacking, but then you have anti-feminism as a social norm. So I'd caution against moving as a way to avoid patri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 09:43 PM
14

Absolutely. You can really tell the demographics of this sub when things like this keep cropping up. I basically grew up only around East Asian and Indian Americans (am East Asian myself), have close Indian girlfriends, and am well aware of how terrible Indian dudes can be. But are they any more terrible than the East Asian guys? The white guys? The Black guys? Nope. The most I could say is that maybe you get more N/ZVM than LVM with Indian guys, but the overall proportion of Indian guys who are…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 05:07 PM
9

If you don't wanna change your number, get a man (preferably white) and do the following: 1) Go to the police with him and have him tell them he's concerned for your welfare 2) Have him respond to the messages either a) posing as the owner of your phone, with a message clearly conveying a male name, male writing pattern, and the fact that he has no clue who this stalker is or b) all the above except that it's his grandmother/great-uncle/other nonthreatening relation who's getting the messages an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 05:41 AM
37

This is so relatable. I'm quite young but have already been sexually harassed at my workplace (I'm a WOC so the harassment was racialized too), gotten attempted gaslighting from HR about it, and my former employers tried to blacklist me to other hiring managers when they were listed as a reference. I also grew up being ungroomed and not stylish, which is a death knell to both male and female relationships when you're young, so I was mostly friendless until like 16. I'm not a Black woman, but the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 06:29 PM
248

Would a recovering alcoholic sit next to a bunch of wine bottles to "practice" enforcing their boundaries? No. If you've already "practiced" building other types of healthy relationships (e.g., platonic and professional ones) then you don't need to "practice" dating. There is very little difference between the fundamental skills needed to build a healthy friendship versus building a healthy romantic relationship, except that it's harder to enforce boundaries while dating because of female social…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 07:38 PM
57

I believe the onus is on him to prove that those were gifts from her to him, so unless he had the foresight to take pictures and send them to her with a message like "Thanks for the gifts!" I think she'll be fine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 07:28 PM
2

I agree with you. I know that walking the fine line between warning other women and fatalism is difficult, but the nuances are even more important in the work we do here. I say this as someone who was retaliated against for speaking about sexual harassment in the workforce. Was it pleasant? No. Would I do it again? Hell yes, because I'm also speaking as someone who was told by a younger girl that she was physically assaulted by an older man in a student organization I headed, and her testimony w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 01:06 AM
28

"A tale from a child!" Truly. I'm in my mid-twenties and like 95 percent of my male acquaintances fib on the regular. Keep a fat grain of salt with you when you listen to men speak.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 04:33 AM
23

My thoughts exactly as an East Asian woman. The wars in Vietnam and Korea literally just happened, so even if a white man in his 20s didn't personally experience the international dehumanization campaign against Asians--which, let's be honest, has been happening for many centuries--his elders certainly did and it's highly unlikely that their views didn't influence his. Just too much baggage for me to vet for when I have better things to do. Asian men aren't less misogynistic, but their sexism is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 01:59 AM
59

Long post incoming: I'm around your age and not a PhD student, just someone who spent a lot of time around them in undergrad and has worked with elite doctorate/JD-holders in the social sciences by nature of my field. Male PhD students and doctorate holders in the econ/finance field are really something. Beyond not wanting to date them because of unprofessionalism, my experience is that they are kind of emotionally and intellectually lacking. The econ/finance academic environments seem to encour…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 05:46 AM
47

When WOC tell you about their pain, even if you struggle to empathize because you can't feel what they feel, believe what they are saying. Keep listening and believing until it becomes more a part of your intuitive reactions rather than something you have to check yourself on. I would even encourage you to OVER-believe at first—to believe first, then question later, which is how you built your beliefs as a child growing into an adult. When you vote, think about what WOC have said about their exp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 06:27 PM
22

Thank you so much for writing this. It really is frustrating to see how the public treats Gabby's case relative to so many WOC cases, where our suffering—whether it's murder, DV, disappearances, assault, or even poverty—is just taken for granted as our normal state of being, in a way that is not at all newsworthy the way a white woman's suffering would be. Posts like this remind FDS users that if they are want to be feminists, they'll have to uplift ALL women—Gabby absolutely deserved to be mour…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 06:19 PM
16

Same!! I have the exact same logic as you and although Asian American men aren't necessarily "better" than white guys or other men of color, at least they're less likely to fetishize.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 02:43 PM
5

I keep hearing about how great Goblin is and am continually surprised at how little others care that the main actor/actress have such a huge age gap? It's just so off-putting to me but I guess not for a large majority of viewers :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 10:40 PM
8

That's awful, I already steer clear of actors who date women much younger than them (e.g., Lee Dong Wook and Lee Minho because they pursued Suzy) but this list is very helpful, thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 10:20 PM
3

Which ones are trash?? I would like to avoid them if possible :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 09:17 PM
14

He's good-looking, a great artist, truly fluent in both English/Korean, and super goofy on camera :( Literally my first ever real celebrity crush
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 07:51 PM
11

Midnight Runners is a great movie!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 05:20 AM
15

Sure sometimes white women make false accusations against Black men or mistreat them in other ways because men are controlling them but it's often also because they're...also racist. (Given the time period, I also wonder how much choice those Black men had in being part of those white women's affairs.) See Allison Williams' interview about how people kept trying to tell her her racist character in "Get Out" must've been controlled by her male relatives to murder and Williams had to keep telling …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 04:07 AM
3

It's not really about one facet "trumping" the other, but about how the facets play off each other to create different experiences for the people that have them. White women can falsely claim Black male violence because they are WHITE WOMEN accusing BLACK MEN. Not because they are WHITE women accusing BLACK men, and not because they're white WOMEN accusing Black MEN. Please read up on intersectionality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 04:02 AM
2

Get another job ASAP. I had one of these delusional, egotistic, gaslighting, useless colleagues and our supervisor did nothing about it until she herself had to do their work because someone broke down about the situation in front of HR. It's unlikely that you can force your boss to do the work and feel the bullshit themselves, so get out as soon as possible. It's not worth sticking it out in the hopes of getting a full time job. If you have the skills, someone better will want you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 02:17 AM
9

I'm also against it because it commercializes an extremely intimate and harrowing experience. Not only that, but it's often low-income women of color—sometimes in poor, formerly colonized countries—who do this work. This paper breaks down the intersectionality of it really well: https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=http://racialcapitalism.ucdavis.edu/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Re-imagining_Reproduction_Unsettling_Met.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwiYu7v1xp7wAhW_FlkFHWKsC0QQFjADegQICRAC&usg=AOvVa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 01:45 PM
238

I was really drawn to lesbian-coded fashion as a high schooler (still am) and I thought it meant I might not be straight, but I don't like girls like that. This post is a real revelation, thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 11:42 AM
6

It really is, like...procreation has BEEN illegal for many communities of color, some of which have also been forcibly sterilized by the state. Like yes I get that overpopulation is bad, but the answer to this is more nuanced than "let's outlaw procreation." Maybe something like "let's figure out how to force rich people/companies to use less resources" to start with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 03:55 AM
8

My mom still does chores, just not well. My dad rewears his clothes pretty often so he goes a long time without needing them washed (my mom will put them in the washer but I think he moves them to the dryer, she probably puts them back in though). And we eat out often. My mom doesn't work a wage job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 03:23 AM
12

My mom legitimately did this and our house is a mess because my dad does not contribute to chores at all, although he is great in some other ways. This strategy might work for men who actually care about tidiness but not for those who can't be bothered.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 01:44 AM
16

Was he Barack Obama
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 03:54 PM
20

Dating as an Asian woman (and probably as any woman of color honestly) is a major shitshow because it's like you can either choose between externalized white supremacist misogyny from white guys or internalized white supremacist misogyny from guys of your cultural group. And like if Asian men want to be seen as desirable by Asian women above white men and they know it's at least partly a white supremacy thing they could like...try harder to protect Asian women from white supremacy and work to di…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 05:24 AM
9

Great points here. All women are treated horribly but the misogyny that women of color face is supercharged by white supremacy and even more dangerous. Intersectionality is so important when thinking about feminism. Thank you so much for sharing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 08:59 PM
12

Just because the man said it wasn't racially motivated doesn't mean it wasn't. The misogyny that Asian women like me face is racist as hell. Please read up on intersectionality if you haven't already.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 08:46 PM
9

"After a 21-year-old was charged with killing eight people at spas in metro Atlanta, he allegedly told investigators he did not have a racial motive. Even as the deadly shootings heightened Asian Americans’ fears about a surge in violent attacks, police said Robert Aaron Long blamed his 'sexual addiction.'" "FBI Director Christopher Wray told NPR Tuesday’s Atlanta-area shootings that killed eight people — six of whom were Asian-American — do not seem to be linked to race, backing up local police…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 08:41 PM
51

Hey, I'm also an Asian American woman who literally just wrote a post about maintaining an intersectional stance to this event. Atlanta was about racism AND misogyny, because the misogyny we face is inherently racialized. The Atlanta PD—whose voice is the most powerful in this debate—is completely ignoring the race aspect of this. We also run the risk of making that mistake when we continually emphasize "misogyny" WITHOUT implicating the racism within that misogyny. I know it's frustrating to fe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 08:32 PM
13

This should not be a controversial opinion at all! Libfem definitely operates from a super white standpoint! Sending you my love too, my fellow WOC. Thank you for sharing your viewpoint, because I think it encapsulates so much so succinctly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 06:49 PM
22

Yep! Plus, mediocre white men prey on Asian American women in America too. Disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 04:13 PM
16

The local PD's stance is actually that this was a crime of misogyny, which completely erases the race aspect. I understand that you may be speaking with or listening to people with different takes, but the most powerful voice in this discussion (i.e., the PD's) is definitely hyperfocused on the victims' gender.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 04:11 PM
18

You have to talk about both. What happened in Atlanta was an intersectional crime of racialized misogyny // misogynistic racism. The victims were targeted not just because they are women, but specifically because they are Asian women. This is not a matter of one or the other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 05:40 AM
17

White men hate us. It's literally that simple. I have to work with a disgusting white man and it's so apparent from the way he constantly tries to put down me and my Black femme coworker. He told me he was "thinking of me"—in a Teams message! Within his first two weeks of starting!—and you just know it's because I'm an East Asian woman. Whiteness is so fucking terrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:01 PM
95

Probably comes from the fact that when America was sending troops to Asia, lots of Asian women were forced to become prostitutes for the soldiers. Who then brought back the idea that all these Asian women were super docile and submissive naturally, when really they were just desperate for money while their homes were being torn apart.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 03:42 AM
6

This is actually a really useful perspective to have, thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 12:07 AM
4

Agreed, I think he only gets into a fight w/ the second lead once, but I didn't find that attractive either. It wasn't enough to ruin it for me because within the drama it seemed like a one-off thing that ultimately doesn't affect the main female lead, but if a guy acted like that in real life I'd be wary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 06:56 PM
8

I totally agree that American TV shows' female characters can be super disappointing. I haven't watched a ton of Kdramas, but the female characters of Start-up are definitely refreshing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 05:38 PM
4

YES the second male lead isn't even nice and the main female lead literally shows zero interest in him, the fact that fans still try to ship them is so indicative of the society we live in :/ I love Do-san too!! In addition to the letters I also feel like he also could've done better at controlling his reactions when he's in situations where the main female lead is getting hurt, but I think it fell within "acceptable flaw" territory.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 05:29 PM
2

If you're down for a Korean show, I think the male lead of "Start-up" (Nam Dosan) displays a lot of high-value qualities. He's still flawed and makes mistakes throughout the story, but I think he reacts to them appropriately and corrects them well. He's also the most supportive male love interest I've ever personally seen. Like, he'd basically do anything the female lead asks of him—and he does sweet things for her/her loved ones without even being asked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 07:41 PM
30

I'm East Asian American, attended public uni in California where you'd think Asians might be safer. Nope—if your little cousin hasn't learned that she doesn't have to be polite to disgusting men, if she still thinks that men should get the benefit of the doubt, it's imperative she learns that's not the case before she gets to college. ESPECIALLY if Asians are a minority at her institution.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 04:53 PM
20

This is a small thing, but McConnell's wife isn't from a Taiwanese dynasty; she's part of a rich Chinese family that was forced to relocate to Taiwan during the Chinese Civil War. Taiwanese dynasties don't really exist and the few rich Taiwanese families that do exist are far too connected to the island to ever move to the United States, let alone marry disgusting American men like Mitch McConnell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 08:49 PM
20

Nah, there are way better things to do than flirt with random men. I like flirting too but only with men who are worth my attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 10:57 PM
13

Honestlyyyyy like I'm truly single for the first time in forever and it's so fun 🎊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 05:10 AM
5

I totally dated the Needy Guy too, but I found FDS like a week after meeting him (thank goodness!!) and cut him off two months afterward. He didn't seem terrible but absolutely couldn't function without either being in a LTR, trying to get into one, or at least hooking up. Before cutting him off I tried to help him out by suggesting that he step away from women for a while and learn how to live without needing female validation; he agreed and then also went right back into dating. Men are so dis…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 04:44 AM
8

Yep!! My ex did this and I gaslit myself into thinking it was okay. It is not. Even if a guy is otherwise amazing and seems to worship the ground you walk on, if he does this kind of thing, he is not worth it. There are absolutely men who do not do this—men with self-respect who see women as people and keep themselves busy with actual hobbies instead of browsing through online profiles. You don't have to settle!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 03:57 PM
9

LOW VALUE OCTOPI 😆 I love this comment
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 06:35 AM
14

I've also cut white guys out of my dating pool. I used to struggle to justify doing so, but I think you give a great explanation for it and I've realized I don't owe them a chance anyway. It's not like we're reinforcing harmful societal norms by deciding white guys aren't attractive and the risk is totally not worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 05:03 AM
14

I think that's pretty valid, like I'd feel uncomfortable if my SO had posts of his ex on his FB/IG too. It all comes down to how he chooses to handle his discomfort. A mature, respectful guy will communicate his feelings w/o trying to manipulate you. Someone less mature will try to guilt trip you or get angry at you for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 02:32 PM
30

My impression is that HVM (and men generally) see us vetting multiple men as a natural occurrence—if a woman is amazing enough that he wants her, he knows that obviously other men will want her too. If they really like a woman, then they see her having multiple suitors as more of a challenge to surmount than a sign of disinterest. If a man wants you and sees a chance with you then he'll just work harder to prove his worth to you until he asks for exclusivity. Men are tenacious about the women th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 05:29 AM
14

Just graduated college, I honestly haven't met a man worth dating and I've known a lot of guys over the years. I don't think they're all trash, but I think the ones who aren't generally understand that they're not ready to date and are working on themselves for the time being. I feel like few people are emotionally mature enough to begin a serious relationship in their early 20s anyway, and even the ones who are often aren't settled enough geographically or career-wise to be ready to date. Which…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 10:44 PM
16

I totally relate to this, like yeah I was hella cringey around men I liked but it definitely saved me from having to date them 😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 08:57 PM
21

Great compilation of posts, thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 03:23 AM
2

Sameeee I literally woke up one morning and had this realization, on one hand it was an important epiphany to have but on the other it was a big bruh moment 🥲
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 06:10 AM
18

Yep!! Last guy I went out with was like this, he had fancy Ivy League-tier degrees too but was definitely the kind of dude who was only nice to women he found attractive. Disappointing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 01:38 AM
14

That kinda sounds like a lighter version of r/wgtow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 03:34 PM
2

You sound like an incredible person who's dealing with some imposter syndrome. Just because you got to your city through wildly different means than most others did doesn't make you lesser than or not as good as anybody else. Given that this is still something that weighs heavily on your mind, to the point where it affects your confidence in dating, you might not be ready to date yet. It could be very beneficial to work through your past with a therapist—so yes, I would recommend focusing on bei…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 05:37 PM
7

It's been a while since I read it, but I think The Son Also Rises by Gregory Clark has some information on this. During lecture he mentioned that when he looked through a couple centuries of English records, on average wives were only 2 or 3 years younger than their husbands. I can't remember which demographic of English women this is though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 07:32 AM
27

God, I remember the shitshows around her both when she was running Reddit and suing Kleiner Perkins. I was still pretty young at the time but it showed me how much our society HATES women, especially women of color, ESPECIALLY when we try to assert ourselves or protect other women. I have no doubt that if a man was trying to ban revenge porn and unauthorized explicit photos he'd be applauded as an industry leader, at least from within the industry if not the users. But Pao had to deal with colos…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 03:30 AM
22

I was literally just thinking this a while ago. With every guy I dated I used to worry that I'd never find anyone better, and then the next guy would inevitably treat me a million times better than the last one. You've just gotta keep going and growing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 06:08 PM
9

Ariel and Ned from the Try Guys seems pretty supportive of each other. Also, Barack and Michelle Obama.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 04:50 PM
9

Good!! He's just holding her down and I hope she stays far away from him :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 07:34 PM
8

I love this, thank you so much for sharing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 12:55 AM
3

Yeah that's understandable :/ I'm not Indian myself but my Indian American girlfriends, who are darker skinned, are super conscious of the sun and their tans. Darker women are seen as less desirable; I think my friend said her mom could "pass" in certain (non-caste related?) ways because she's light-skinned and speaks Hindi but because my friend inherited her dad's darker skin she wouldn't be able to do the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 12:09 AM
4

Colorism is a problem throughout Indian, but caste systems are not based off skin color. Very dark-skinned Brahmins (the highest caste) are common in South India, for example.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 11:57 PM
20

I LOVE THIS HAHAHA
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 02:24 PM
48

The Indian caste system is a system that puts Indians in different social classes based on ancestry. Although its effects may not seem overt at times, Indians pay a lot of attention to it. Even Indian Americans—there was an NYT article about how Indian American engineers in California would discriminate against coworkers of lower castes. My Indian American friends, whose parents moved to America in their 20s, tell me they're still expected to marry people from the same caste.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 10:49 PM
129

Yeah considering how he turned out in the sequel I was glad the movie adaptation of CRA had them separating instead of staying together.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 07:01 PM
55

Sometimes I wonder if women who participate in polyamory maybe...need more friends? Like really deep, close friendships, especially with other women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 01:21 AM
2

Honestly what made it harder was knowing that his parents didn't pay for any of his education. He's a first gen college student from a working class background who earned a scholarship to attend his prestigious high school, then got into college (presumably also on scholarship) while working part-time on the side. Just goes to show that even smart, diligent men who seem like success stories can still be awful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 07:17 PM
1

My dad has worn the same sweaters and free conference T-shirts for YEARS. He used super low end smartphones until a few years ago and still refuses to buy laptops that cost more than like $400 for himself even though he could definitely afford it. Meanwhile he got me a Microsoft Surface for my birthday, will take our family out for anything we ask for, and lets us buy whatever off Amazon T_T My mom is a housewife and she says he's never policed her spending, though she's too courteous to buy muc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 10:53 PM
6

If anyone hasn't see her interview with Genius I'm just gonna put it here cause it exemplifies so much of this subreddit: https://youtu.be/hhNlxcZWayw
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 04:21 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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