ghostiewm Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
4	Does a woman that helps a man even exist? There are lots of them out there. Most of them are happily partnered. And for those who aren't in a partnership, they are living their single life with grace. It takes a good bit of energy to be a dedicated helper. Many dedicated helpers do what they do out of love. And some realize that if they care for themselves the way they care for others, they are okay with being alone.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/03/25 11:16 AM
2	Does a woman that helps a man even exist? Very wise, Sensei.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/03/25 11:07 AM
6	Does it get better? It gets better if you don't capitulate. There is a big difference between giving in with grace, giving in for peace, or giving in because of fear. Although 50/50 is a bad ideological standard in staying together, I think that in splitting up it's the place to start. What you have described sounds more like acquiescing, which leads to resentment, which poisons your soul. Many times when we fight and lose, we tend to move on emotionally faster, because we took what we could from the table. Perhaps…	/r/Divorce_Men	27/02/25 12:38 PM
4	Lets say you have rock solid proof that your wife cheated with a married man. Do you tell the wife of the AP or keep silent to maintain the peace for the sake of your kids? From a strategic standpoint, it's best to wait. Spousal support increases when said spouse has no job. Plus serving cold revenge is a thing because, well, you're thinking with your brain.	/r/Divorce_Men	01/02/25 04:06 PM
7	Post-divorce intimacy Sounds like it's more an emotional issue than a physical issue, and performance anxiety is getting you down. This is common. Perhaps you can focus on the nonpenetration parts of sexual intimacy. Get to know her body, share your body with her. Use your non dick parts. Slow it down. Usually that will get you out of your head, and your blood will flow naturally.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/01/25 12:00 PM
-1	What would be your reaction if your daughters do the same thing to their future husbands? Well, punishing an adult seems extreme. Life is full of complications. What grown up kids do in their relationships is really between them and their partner. So I'm voting neutral.	/r/Divorce_Men	24/01/25 09:51 PM
0	Insight into the switch Maybe she is waiting for you to push the eject button. Sounds like she is checked out and is stuck in a fear of change loop. Or like many around here have experienced, planning on a drawn out exit strategy.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/01/25 10:12 AM
5	Ex is hurt no one has reached out to her over the divorce Some people need space to grieve. And for many it takes time. If the relationship is what she thought it was then people will reach out in time. Otherwise she should go on with her life, and explore the new beginnings that she imagined. Not your monkey, not your zoo, OP.	/r/Divorce_Men	13/01/25 12:47 PM
9	Being Alone Sucks I had this realization recently. In marriage there is the love of each other, ourselves the relationship and the gains of the relationship (children and property). And its easy to conflate these elements into one big bundle of love. I think if we take time to assess our relationships deeper we might realize that each one of us has a special focus. Some of us will not leave our mate, because we love them and they enhance our welbeing. While others will stay for the children or the status or the g…	/r/Divorce_Men	05/01/25 01:35 PM
5	Separation = divorce? Not necessarily. Some people need space to evaluate if the relationship works and if time apart causes them to seek out each other. The best approach is to let her go, and you take your time. Make sure y'all agree on what separation means from a romance with others perspective, and co-parenting expectations. Otherwise take the time to work on your interests, do things that bring you joy apart from her. Hit the gym, standard stuff. Also get familiar with divorce and separation of assets law and c…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/12/24 11:29 AM
1	Ex is Pushing to End It, I Feel Trapped Consult with a lawyer? Many initial consultations are free. Or ask Claude.ai. it's really good at law stuff.	/r/Divorce_Men	13/11/24 12:00 PM
6	Does everyone agree this should be a dealbreaker? I believe there is a difference between what we do, and what we say when we're disappointed by political outcomes. From what I perused from the Internet the elections have feminists shaken. Give her time to come back to the present. Going deeper people's reactions tend to follow a trend. So ask yourself, based on her other 'feminist' actions, or better the actions she takes that you excuse as feminist do you believe that she will follow through with her assertion?	/r/Divorce_Men	11/11/24 11:21 AM
5	Does ghosting your separated wife really work to bring her back? Y'all got married very young. She always wanted to see the other side of life. She didn't divorce you, because y'all have a wonderful complicated and entrenched bond. Still even though you don't want to explore, probably because your life allowed you to go places, and have other experiences, she didn't. I would suggest that you take the solo time to do the hobby things that you always never did or were afraid to do. Take up yoga or some other spiritual practice. Use your alone time to find parts…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/11/24 10:52 AM
5	How do you justify leaving If you're stuck in analysis paralysis this is a good resource. Too good to leave, too bad to stay	/r/Divorce_Men	07/07/24 01:58 AM
2	BPD violent spouse and divorce There is a book called Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline Or Narcissistic Personality Disorder It's a deep dive into what you seek.	/r/Divorce_Men	07/06/24 02:25 PM
2	Why do we seem so rare? Selection bias. Statistics like averages cover a whole population. There are hot spots (people who have big problems like economic woes, have no kids, no property and are easy to divorce), and cool spots (many more things to consider before divorce) So really it's a hard number to get a representative average. People stay together for a variety of reasons, and they have different definitions of what a blissful marriage is.	/r/Divorce_Men	15/04/24 11:19 AM
2	Why do we seem so rare? That's a really WEIRD statistic. People have different things that contribute to their happiness. And most of the time their lack of fulfillment has nothing to do with their marriage. The bigger question is: In the control group of unmarried people what was the percentage of happy people?	/r/Divorce_Men	15/04/24 11:11 AM
-9	A random surprise this morning. Looks like she is trying to make amends before you have forgiven her for the betrayal. Forgiveness is a personal choice. You don't have to do anything about her message. But if you want to test her sincerity, ask to meet with her so that she can make amends in person, and you can have body language to aid you in getting the full context of this apology. And if you sense that she is being sincere take some time to give thoughts to how you move on. Some people need closure, and forgiveness is ofte…	/r/Divorce_Men	01/04/24 05:20 PM
2	How can u tell if your wife loves u? And that is expected. Parental love and relational love are different. The way I feel about my parents, and the way I feel about my kids is way different than the spouse. With the spouse it's first a choice, a partnership, a friendship, a journey, shared interests. The kids are just love.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/03/24 12:35 PM
2	I want to be a dad. I can see my dream crashing. You can technically have kids at 90. No special medical intervention required. So calm down. Heal up from your divorce grief. And when you're ready she will find you.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/03/24 11:32 AM
1	Why do some of y’all go for a second round after the first show? The certificate is the contract that the state recognizes. It's the basis of the tax advantage and the foundation of the estate. The certificate is not necessarily religious. It's the shortcut to family court as opposed to claims court. Historically that's what marriage was about. Protecting the estate. Still is. You can always shack up with another if solitude is not fulfilling to you. But if you do, put guardrails on your estate.	/r/Divorce_Men	12/02/24 11:55 AM
5	No purpose in life ? Sir, there are rules about spending time with your children. And whatever your marital problems are, visitation with your kid is a priority and your right, unless you signed those away. Find a way to spend time with your child. If your spouse won't cooperate, find a lawyer. And if you don't have lawyer money, contact your local social and family services. Also I have some understanding of your spot in life right now. Take the time to grieve. And while you're at it, start planning for the next ph…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/02/24 11:01 AM
3	What do young women care about these days? I guess having a baby together wasn’t enough. Being a father to her son wasn’t enough. Moving across the country for her wasn’t enough. Buying her gifts wasn’t enough. Getting married wasn’t enough. Buying a family home wasn’t enough. Well said. We're all on our individual paths. And many of us didn't win the birth lottery. So we spend a lifetime trying to find things that make us happy. Only to completely miss/ignore/not recognize what we really need along the way. Most of the time for good bad or indifferent to our issues in relationships are personal.	/r/Divorce_Men	03/02/24 09:35 AM
6	Wife says she wants a divorce because I sound like Donald Trump Okay. Since you're a young grasshopper, I'll do my best to be honest, but kind, you may take this personally, and you will have to work through it. Your wife doesn't like your critical analysis skills. And she is a really poor communicator. You are too, communication skills take time dedication and practice. She resents how you think about things and her friends probably tell her that you are stoopid. When she brings the divorce papers, then you know she is serious. I need more context to give a…	/r/Divorce_Men	01/02/24 12:35 PM
6	Wife says she wants a divorce because I sound like Donald Trump Assuming that this is a real conversation between married people.... How old are y'all?	/r/Divorce_Men	01/02/24 12:13 PM
4	Dating post divorce Are you looking for another wife already, or experiences with people? Consider as a part of your healing to explore places and people that are outside of your routine.	/r/Divorce_Men	24/01/24 06:01 AM
3	Should I(28M) reach out to my wife(29F) who wants a divorce. she got diagnosed with Borderline And you're brave riding that train. Yeesh. You're being offered a get out of jail free card. It's a common BPD trap. So if you're thinking about using the card, get your affairs in order and brace for the ride.	/r/Divorce_Men	08/06/23 05:11 PM
1	I need help or advice into what I can do to stay hard during sex All of the above and adding it could be in your head or it could be in your body. Since your mind rules your body, it could be both. A few things you can try that the others didn't mention. Meditation and yoga can help. Exercise, can help. Also masterbation without external stimuli like porn, and the cam girls, can help you put your mind and body in sync. But mostly be kind to yourself. And if that doesn't work, sildenifil, and tadalafil tend to bypass the mind and body restrictions and make thi…	/r/seduction	18/08/22 02:00 AM
3	I don’t want a relationship with ma dad It's cool. If you're not feeling it right now, it's okay. There may be a rule out there that you have to be good to your folks, but sometimes if you're forcing love, then you're loving for the wrong reason. What you should consider is figuring out your purpose. Going down the road of being not your dad, is equally bad for you. So, figure out how to be you, especially with the parts of your dad that are in you. On the parts of dad that are in you, appreciate the good ones, make peace with the bad…	/r/Divorce_Men	23/07/22 04:44 PM
2	My wife took our one month old son and left the house I must add, that her leaving the house is probably an indication of something deeper. In my experience, children forced me to reconsider my life, and brought up a lot of my unresolved childhood shit. And likely it will be the same for you and your spouse. We all have different ways of dealing with emotional pain. That she runs away to her siblings, [of course lactating moms need broad empathy and sympathy, since those hormones will interfere with rationality], is a red flag on the long term emot…	/r/Divorce_Men	13/07/22 10:00 AM
5	My wife took our one month old son and left the house Sounds like she is splitting. This is not about logic or rational understanding so stop with it. Perhaps some post partum depression? Your mom, the pediatrician, has a conflict of interest. Yikes. I'm a little concerned that you're venting here. Indicator for avoidant style affection. Go take care of your child dude. And let mama bear be mama bear. Unless she is absolutely nuts, she will figure out that the baby needs more food. Good luck.	/r/Divorce_Men	13/07/22 09:02 AM
2	Getting back together? There are some fringe cases where this is possible. There are within these cases people who divorced, got back together and broke up again. Best thing to do the job of learning who you are, and learning to claim your manhood. This process will help you understand the best partner to choose for who you are, and not necessarily the one you picked when you were too young to know yourself. In the meantime take care of your babies. And work on your personal enlightenment.	/r/Divorce_Men	09/07/22 08:58 PM
1	What is the minimum age a man should get married and what should he know coming into the marriage? Good bot	/r/Divorce_Men	09/07/22 04:34 PM
1	Anyone lived together as friends after divorce? It's possible, but based on this 🧵, I'm sensing the need to be good, fear, shame, obligation, as bigger motivation factors for you considering this proposal. In general some exes become healthy besties after the psychological work, personal reflection, and mental growth on both sides.	/r/Divorce_Men	29/06/22 11:35 AM
1	Anyone lived together as friends after divorce? While this is possible in the short term, over the long term and without the needed grief and emotional healing, this shit will begin to mess with your head, unless the idea of polyamory appeals to you. Some things to plan for. How will you deal with her new love interests? How will she deal with yours in the house? How will she deal with you not being obligated to pay attention to you and vice versa? What will you do when you get out of the denial phase? Are you going to allow people to walk al…	/r/Divorce_Men	29/06/22 11:25 AM
1	Is there something wrong with women? Sounds like you're really down. Can you get help from your work employee assistance program?	/r/Divorce_Men	06/06/22 02:33 PM
3	It Happened. She Has a Boyfriend The divorce was hidden from them until recently. How, and why did y'all hide this divorce from the children? And how long did y'all hide it?	/r/Divorce_Men	05/06/22 02:15 PM
2	Does this happen to anyone else? Marriage counseling. In that case I can only echo what the consensus is around here. You know what you want. Perhaps consider focusing on the Fear, Obligation and Guilt, that is keeping you in your place. Sometimes it's best to jump into the unknown. Otherwise you will be killing yourself with resentment for the codependent position you choose to live through.	/r/Divorce_Men	01/05/22 11:41 PM
2	Does this happen to anyone else? Marriage counseling. Did you ever consider individual sessions of therapy for you. Seems like you're in a self imposed prison.	/r/Divorce_Men	01/05/22 10:02 PM
1	What are some not so obvious red flags us younger men should look out for? The flags are hard to see when you're young. Mostly, in my experience because we are searching for the hormone high, without understanding why. If you really want to observe the flags, go to therapy. Work on your self. Heal your childhood traumas. And then clear as day you will be able to notice what you're not willing to settle for when you choose a life mate.	/r/Divorce_Men	29/04/22 05:00 PM
1	Ex-Wife Wants to Teach Kindergarten Son About Toxic Masculinity In my experience, kids learn more from what we do, than from what we say. So, if the woke teachings resonate with the kids real life, then they will follow. In the meantime, take the kid fishing, hiking, spend time doing crafts, meditating, reading the bible. Teach them a life skill, like swimming, or riding a bike. Take them on a road trip to explore the great beyond. These acts are much more long lasting and valuable than all unreinforced woke talk. While we're here, there is nothing inherentl…	/r/Divorce_Men	23/04/22 11:46 PM
1	Should I delete pics of my wife? If you're not ready, consider putting them on a physical disk, like burn a CD., Or put them on a flash drive then put them in a box somewhere. Somewhere that it takes a lot of work to get to. And your brain will have to run a few checks before you do the deed. Like the attic is hot, no lights, which box, find adapter for USBC, find external CD reader..	/r/Divorce_Men	11/04/22 02:01 AM
1	is no contact with stbxw an option when you have kids? IMAX level projection I have never seen this before, and I love it. That is the best metaphor ever.	/r/Divorce_Men	06/04/22 09:45 PM
1	Safety Concerns For less than $50 you can get a "smart" automatic garage door attachment, that works with Google assistant or Alexa or with an app that gives you notifications, or closes the garage door after a specific set time interval. Or you can banish her from using the garage.	/r/Divorce_Men	06/04/22 09:39 PM
1	Serious question Seems like you need professional help. Figure out why you thought marriage would make you better, and why now not marriage. This is usually called splitting. In the world of all possibilities we settle for a few answers. Go talk to a shrink.	/r/Divorce_Men	03/04/22 04:55 PM
2	I thought I passed the point of getting hurt again Maybe you have a type. Most of us do, and usually the type plays to our patterns. And we inevitably get hurt. Have you considered the type of women that you choose to be intimate with? And have you taken the time to ponder what each of the characteristics of that person can be tied to in your life? I would propose that you take some time to ponder this, if you haven't already. Don't be afraid to go deep and wide.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/04/22 10:43 PM
4	Post divorce hobbies Gym time, pottery, painting, playing a string instrument like a guitar or ukulele. Hiking, cycling, Mountain biking come to mind.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/03/22 12:40 AM
2	Dating thoughts. At what age gap do things become creepy? 10 years? 15? 20? Creepy to me is stepping into pedo land. After consenting adult age, it's all fair game. Of course that depends on individual taste mostly. If I were looking, hypothetically, I would try to stay out of the extreme ends of the spectrum for physical ability declines at the old end and maturity at the young end.	/r/Divorce_Men	25/02/22 11:54 PM
3	Dating thoughts. At what age gap do things become creepy? 10 years? 15? 20? Good bot	/r/Divorce_Men	25/02/22 11:49 PM
1	Valentine’s day! Sorry to see that you're still attached emotionally bro. When you feel like this, notice is your body where this energy is coming from. And gently caress the part with loving kindness. Look around you, and the things that are around you and focus on them. Peace be with you.	/r/Divorce_Men	16/02/22 01:16 AM
3	How do I answer her to this text? Tell her your truth. Be vulnerable. Stop thinking about what she will say.	/r/seduction	12/09/21 11:47 AM
1	In case of a divorce, what happens to assets accumulated before the marriage? The bias on this sub is the hurt of the sunk cost. If your net worth matters to you, don't get married. Unless you get married to someone with twice your net worth. Marriage is surrender. And if before you surrender you're here, then chances are you won't make it past the first year, because priorities, which are fine if that's your thing. Save your time and money. When it comes to money marriage is like purchasing fireworks. It's pretty, it's fun, and a good time. But, it's literally blowing up…	/r/Divorce_Men	04/09/21 12:48 PM
1	Sex won’t make you happy Balanced life should be the goal. It's good that you're beginning to realize this.	/r/seduction	06/07/21 11:49 AM
1	Spousal Support Enforcement Outside the USA Sometimes peace is better than money. Unless if you want to retire in one of these places. I mean people live there and the life can be really chill and or expensive depending on your choice. Either ways there will be adjustment, but you already know that, I hope.	/r/Divorce_Men	03/07/21 03:40 PM
2	When "our" family vacation became "her" family vacation. Hey, remember you can fish any time. Find a place, a river, a neighborhood pond, a lake, and take your kiddo fishing. Fishing is one of the greatest bond building thing you can do with kids, next to sports. Especially now. Fish early and fish often.	/r/Divorce_Men	13/06/21 01:27 AM
4	Soon to be divorced, can’t get my brain to stop spiralling. Looking for a supportive word or two. Fear, uncertainty, doubt. A natural response to change. It's what our emotional brain is doing to keep us safe, when our logical brain says enough, time for change. Sit with your emotions, and try to figure out where they are coming from. Why would you say when you want to go. When did this pattern start. Take a day or two to grieve. Then make a list of your worries, prioritize the goals and take each one day at a time. Sounds too easy. Well it's hard as hell. Be brave, breathe, be mindful, and …	/r/Divorce_Men	17/05/21 11:29 AM
–	Opinions on visiting a Stip club to overcome approach anxiety? I mean if you need to practice anxiety, yes. It may help you get out your head. But, a strip club is like a lab, the conditions are controlled. You will have to put your play to the real world.	/r/seduction	16/12/20 03:33 PM
2	Co-parenting check I'll second that and add, a discussion of big /small issues has to be agreed on. Device turn off time is on the boundary of big/small depending on age for example.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/10/20 05:39 PM
4	Another night seeing the bottom of the bottle. My “wife” has admitted that she’s no longer happy with me, and that she’d rather move on. I saw it coming, I’m just scared of not finding a quality woman Love is internal. Take a trip on the self improvement road.	/r/Divorce_Men	31/08/20 08:55 AM
2	Need Tips Help! Give this a listen Then let the algorithm go wild.	/r/Divorce_Men	08/07/20 11:53 PM
2	Anxiety keeps me here. I get that. Therapy is a lot art. Although they are mostly general practitioners, because they are humans, they go by their intuition based on what we tell them. Every one has childhood traumas, unless you lives in a bubble or your parents are psychiatrist's, (and even that has its traumas) children do not all process the worlds information in a logical rational way. That you said : I don't have any childhood traumas Means it's highly likely you have one deeply buried in your subconscious. And t…	/r/Divorce_Men	29/06/20 03:55 PM
4	Anxiety keeps me here. Apart from anxiety medication, have you done any other treatment for your anxiety? If the meds are not working it suggests that your problem is not chemical, and has to do with your history, and the way you processed some of your childhood traumas. Also you can start working on your distorted thaughts. YouTube has some great videos on cognitive distortions. Start there.	/r/Divorce_Men	29/06/20 12:02 PM
3	Unicorn or Bad Ex? In that case take the trip to the Oasis. Puddle water can't be good for you long term.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/06/20 11:59 PM
2	Unicorn or Bad Ex? Probably both. Thing about failures is that we are supposed to learn from them. If you have spent time trying to figure out why this one got way and if the next one is real, it suggests that you haven't done the work, or learned the lesson. Still, life is short, and you feel like you have been in a desert. Do you drink from the first puddle of water, or wait till you get to the oasis? Wise people say the solution is on the path, others say if you're thirsty, drink water. Drinking water from a pu…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/06/20 10:28 PM
2	Forgetting and Letting Go of HER expectations Wait. She is your STBX, and you still don't have the balls to say: Ex-Wife, your expectations for me are too high and I am no longer going to try so hard to meet them because it's destroying me. I'm not going to try anymore though and I'm going to tell my son that it's fine. He will be fine. It's fine. I totally understand where you are coming from. In an alternate reality, we could be brothers. We tend to seek our opposites in love, when were young. I'm not sure why nature designed us this way.…	/r/Divorce_Men	10/06/20 11:26 AM
3	Wife Attorney withdrew Second the crazy option	/r/Divorce_Men	29/01/20 09:20 AM
1	how to game shy/introverted girls? Introverts in general, choose you. They seek depth of character and personality. The seek complexity. Some of them learn to be social, but most of the time they won't waste time on banter and aimless conversation. Disclaimer: All people are unique though, so this is more of a guide than a recipe. Shy people on the other hand are generally folks with some kind of social anxiety trait. Some are actually extroverted, but slow to warm up, some are just generally lacking experience in social situatio…	/r/seduction	25/12/18 02:42 PM
19	5 exercises that will boost your charisma with girls Looks like you've done a lot of work on your internals. Keep up the good work and keep sharing.	/r/seduction	20/12/18 11:46 AM
3	[Serious] How does break up happen ? Many couples keep chatting/talking even after break up. The true answer is it depends on the individuals, their history, their expectations, and their actions. Really going meta on this question is a real waste of time, it is like asking what is love, or what does sex feel like. So you will have to experience breaking up to know. People also chat for many different reasons. And even as our experiences change, become challenging, sometimes a good talk, or sexual encounter does miracles for our brains.	/r/seduction	16/12/18 11:46 AM
2	Anyone seduced a former professor? Hmm, this is a rather ambitious goal. And considering our social #meToo moment, may males are spooked. And they are avoiding any situations that potentially create the perception of them abusing /taking advantage of their power position. That's hurdle one. Still, if you like the conversations that you're having, there is really nothing preventing you from having them after the semester is over. I have professors that I keep up with. And it's been years. But since you asked here, looks like you h…	/r/seduction	16/12/18 11:36 AM
2	Update: why does it hurt when I get rejected? I counted 3/4 positive. Pretty good odds I would say. Keep chatting. Raise your rejection bar.	/r/seduction	16/12/18 11:15 AM
1	Are the type of girls we attract a reflection of who we are? We tend to attract people who can take care of our mama and papa issues. If you really want to get out of the cycle, take an open minded and honest look at your childhood. Were there people who you played nurse to, in the way that you do now? And if you want to dig deeper hop over to r/mentalhealth	/r/seduction	01/12/18 05:36 AM
0	How do u react to : "I miss you" If "beta" to you means not mannish, then something along the lines of "and I crave your presence, darling, and I'm outside your door ready to do something about that" is the alpha thing to do. Because alpha's do.	/r/seduction	23/11/18 08:22 PM
27	Not your typical seduction post, but I'm having a visit in a shared apartment in a few hours. How can I, as a shy person, appear likeable? When I was 17 I had exactly this dilemma. Do I continue to be reserved, calculate the responses of people in my head before I ask a question? Get anxious about how people would perceive my thoughts of just jump in there and speak what was on my mind? I chose to jump in. And it was great. We had a long conversation. Many years later, I am still an introvert and I don't like having superficial conversations, but I don't isolate myself. When i meet with people who do not think like I do, I sit do…	/r/seduction	20/11/18 03:23 PM