TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

ginasaurus-rex Archive

View 0 posts and 366 comments by ginasaurus-rex on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Married almost 8 years, together for over 11. Have one kid. My take on most posts here is that the OPs likely are chronically online and don’t actually socialize much. Our lives are full of average friends with average lives, in happy normal relationships, raising happy normal kids. So the narrative that “average men have no chance” and all women are just self-obsessed narcissists who spend their days posting on tiktok and spouting hatred for men…it’s just not reality. They spend all their time …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 05:52 PM
1

In early dating, I always assumed I would split for things like dates/activities/trips. If he insisted on paying I would generally accept. Once serious + living together I contributed to the household proportionate to my income. When we got engaged we just combined everything. Joint bank account and made each other authorized users on credit cards. That has remained through getting married and having a child. I continued to work after parental leave. I think every mom has a hard time emotionally…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 01:53 PM
4

What about in cases where it was decided by a jury? Do you propose going after each juror as well? Proving a person is innocent of a crime doesn’t necessarily mean the prosecutors or judge did anything illegal or unethical.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 01:32 AM
0

Well yeah, that’s what our current system offers. But you’re advocating for the state paying even more than it already does.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 12:12 AM
1

So what happens when the woman finds a that she actually can’t afford the child once it’s born? I assume you want the state to step in?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 10:23 PM
0

As a society, we tend not to punish children for their parent’s bad decisions (when we can avoid it). Plenty of women will probably carry the child thinking they will make it work somehow, but when reality hits they are broke and need state assistance. So you’re literally putting the responsibility of the kid on the taxpayer. Or letting the child starve, pick whichever outcome you prefer. That’s why we came up with child support in the first place. Doesn’t really matter what naive, ill-advised, …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 10:21 PM
2

Where are you getting the figure of “over a million dollars”? Considering the average child support payment is $430/month, most men aren’t even clearing $100K over the child’s lifetime, let alone over a million.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 05:14 PM
1

When the working partner is at work, the stay at home partner is mostly going to be taking care of the children. Some housework may get done, depending on the age of the children, but most of their time will be spent on childcare, especially if you’d prefer your child be enjoying outdoor time, social activities like playgroups, and doing art or educational activities rather than being parked in front of the TV while chores get done. In short, I would not expect a stay at home parent to get any m…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 07:48 PM
2

I came here before I was married, though I was dating my now-husband at the time. I enjoy healthy debate, and also find cult-like thinking fascinating. This sub has plenty of both.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/23 01:45 PM
–

Matthew Gray Gubler aka Spencer Ried from Criminal Minds. Perfect mix of hot and goofball.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 03:34 PM
1

I have never and will never understand the BFD around "the approach" that is made on this sub. Absolutely none of my long-term relationships were began by being cold-approached by a stranger. We met through mutual interests and friends. I met a former boyfriend because we both ran in the local theatre scene. My husband I met when a friend brought him rock climbing with us. The odds of you finding more than a casual hookup through a cold approach are slim.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/23 03:54 PM
61

My husband and I have a running joke when one of us is feeling down or like a burden to the other. We say "one dollar." Early on he told me, "If I had to give you a dollar every time I was a burden on you, and you had to give me a dollar every time you were a burden on me, I bet we'd only ever need one dollar to swap back and forth between us."
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/23 03:35 PM
2

Honestly I'd say yes. Obviously anyone's view of "average" will be somewhat skewed by their age, location and social circle (city vs rural, high income vs low income, etc). But all of these women have clear skin, nice hair, and symmetrical features. Even though they are still stock photos, I think this search on Adobe Stock shows a much better idea of the range of attractiveness in the real world. Some of these women are gorgeous. Some are okay-looking but have bad skin, wrinkles, or harsh featu…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/23 07:08 PM
11

OP I think you have to keep in mind when looking at these results, that of course most of these women are attractive (with the extra weight or not). They are models. Even for istock "basic average woman" photo shoots, they still select people who are above average for looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/23 03:59 PM
2

Also, it's probably because men in general do have more sexual partners than women. According to the CDC only 25% of women aged 25-49 have 10 or more partners, whereas that percentage jumps to nearly 41% for men of the same age.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/23 07:47 PM
0

I don't know what you are on about. My comment didn't even mention gender. If you have a problem with OP's assumption, make a top level comment to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/23 07:35 PM
3

Height is a trait, not a behavior. It would be more akin to someone who drinks 3 cocktails a day preferring someone who has never consumed alcohol.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/23 07:09 PM
0

The fact that you refer to it as a war and speak in terms of "winning" and "losing" is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you see the opposite gender as the enemy, then you will treat them as such, and thus they will be.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 07:02 PM
1

As the mother of a toddler who works full time, I feel I have some decent experience to speak to this. If my husband is taking care of an infant or toddler all day, I can personally attest that time to take care of chores is limited. He could probably get the sweeping done, run the dishwasher, and prep dinner. Perhaps wipe down surfaces in the bathroom if the kid is in a particularly good mood. But I would fully expect to still do at least 40%+ of the household chores, and that doesn't include b…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 07:04 PM
2

There will always be angry people within a movement that take their views to the extreme. I'd push back against your idea that feminism as a whole is about superiority over men.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/22 06:42 PM
1

So basically you just wanted to get in a dig at feminism on this post about disagreements with the Red Pill?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/22 06:38 PM
3

I've never viewed being a feminist as meaning I am in competition with anyone. Partners should be just that. Partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/22 01:20 PM
40

Just the general way they treat relationships as adversarial.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/22 09:23 PM
12

I love how it's some major revelation that, when we are discussing a long term relationship, there are other factors at play. Like, being fuckable is the least of my concerns when I am talking about long term happiness with another human being. Kindness, ambition, humor, similar goals and values, these are all so much more important than a guy who happens to be hot. We are all going to get old and our bodies are going to decay. If I'm sitting on the couch in my elder years with someone who is ru…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/21 02:41 PM
1

If they weren’t, they wouldn’t grow to the sizes they do. Wait, so now the size something grows to determines whether it’s inherently sexual? So since some people find feet attractive, people with large feet shouldn’t be seen in sandals? I’m not saying breasts don’t aid in attracting a mate, but so do angular jawlines on men and full lips on women. And we don’t dictate that those be covered up because they’re too sexual.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/20 02:25 AM
1

I can understand that. Maybe it's just having a baby and spending the better part of this year having them treated like literal feed bags, but I definitely understand their utility outside the bedroom now, and think people need to get over the idea of seeing a little nip on occasion.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/20 08:48 PM
12

Nipples are also an erogenous zone on plenty of men. For that matter, necks and ears are also erogenous zones. A body part being an e-zone doesn't make it inherently sexual.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/20 08:27 PM
6

Same (almost 7 years together). This OP had me scratching my head. Like, shouldn't you both be acting lovey dovey because you...you know...love each other?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/20 03:51 PM
5

I think what you're looking for is called "the entire field of sociology." There you'll find plenty of non-TRP analysis of human behavioral trends, including dating/mating behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/20 02:34 PM
27

Exactly. The whole "you might not get what you want, but you'll get something" is a disingenuous argument. If what I'm looking for is a knife, it doesn't matter that I can have as many chopsticks as I want.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/20 05:51 PM
1

I think the things you listed exist on a spectrum/scale. Flirting with the sole intent to get free drinks/food is "ew" on that scale. Buying drinks/food with the sole intent to get sex (and vice versa) is "gross." And all the way at the far end, using your power/influence with the sole intent to get sex (especially from a less-than-willing participant) is "disgusting" and depending on how far you go, illegal. You can't just put using your power/authority to get sex on the same level as flirting …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/20 03:53 PM
1

Are you saying it would have been okay if he was the director of another department with similar connections, and similarly threatened their future careers?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/20 03:33 PM
1

Sure, women have the agency, but when your entire future is threatened, it doesn't feel like that much of choice, does it? I unfortunately know several women who were threatened by the director of their department (who had lots of connections in our tight-knit industry) that he could be sure they'd never get another contract unless they went along with his advances. Thankfully someone finally stepped into the role above his that had some balls, and he was fired and escorted off the grounds. But …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/20 03:28 PM
2

Okay, you are getting more specific. Thank you. And perhaps we just have different views of the law, but I don’t see recognizing the victim as independent of the charge of homicide. Yes, there is clearly a victim by nature of the charge. But there are some crimes we can charge whether there is a discernible victim or not. Forgery is an example. You don’t necessarily have to have affected any one person negatively to be guilty of it, but sometimes there is a direct victim of the forgery who is da…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/19 11:45 PM
1

Not sure where you think I implied it’s “outrageous.” I am only asking you for more specific information and clarification. You keep saying “recognize the victim” or “acknowledge as a victim” but you are not being specific about what that actually looks like within our justice system. Even in murder trials, the victim is generally only mentioned as a means to appeal to the jury’s emotions (family also could make a victim impact statement at sentencing since they are considered victims as well by…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/19 11:23 PM
3

So you would advocate for an additional or separate criminal proceeding then. Do I have that right? What crime would they be guilty of? Would you make slander a crime rather than a civil tort? Or some new type of charge that doesn’t currently exist in the criminal or civil framework?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/19 10:59 PM
3

You’re not being specific enough. They are being criminally tried for filing a false report. Where exactly are you seeing lack of acknowledgment of the victim? Victims of ANY crime are generally only involved in criminal trials as witnesses and/or perhaps making a victim impact statement at sentencing. Are the falsely accused barred from participating in trials/sentencing in such manners?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/19 10:27 PM
8

Most torts (which slander and defamation fall under) are not criminal. Bringing a criminal case for damages to your reputation will do little to nothing to improve your situation, because criminal courts are focused on punishing the perpetrator, not on making the victim whole again. If you want to address the damage a proven false accusation has done to you (monetarily, emotionally, whatever), you will get no help in a criminal court (besides the satisfaction of seeing the person punished, which…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/19 09:33 PM
2

The problem is that your definition acknowledges that not being able to get past it is an issue the pursuer has. Most often in this sub and on Reddit in general, the friendzone is portrayed as something done TO the pursuer. "She friendzoned me" or "She put me in the friendzone." It's a victim mentality rather than a true acknowledgment of their own feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/19 03:08 PM
1

The point really is that you are arguing that men need financial abortion in order for it to be "equal" when it is already unequal in the man's favor. Men have zero responsibility when it comes to pregnancy. Women face all of the consequences of pregnancy. Men only have consequences once a child is here, and at that point you are contending with the child's rights, not the woman's. This is why you don't need to bring women's right to abortion into this argument. Men's responsibility has nothing …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/19 09:58 PM
1

So what would your answer be if I said, "Women just don't want to pay for an abortion if they never wanted to be pregnant in the first place." What would your response be? Edited to add: I still don't think child support and abortion should be equated, but I am trying to go along with your reasoning for argument's sake.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/19 09:30 PM
1

Fuck the child. Human babies are no different than braindead humans or retards (I got distant family who are retarded and I think we should put them down cuz they are a huge burden): they take up resources, and don't have a functioning brain at a level that matters: so they don't deserve human consideration. Gas the kid if you can't support it. Hell I'd buy baby meat at the supermarket if it was cheaper than chicken or eggs, I don't understand why society thinks everyone is special. Babies are n…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/19 09:04 PM
2

Only the woman has it because only the woman is pregnant. Anyway, you people really need to stop analogizing child support and abortion. Abortion is a right (at least currently) granted to women because they have the right to make medical decisions about their own body. Child support is a right granted to a child. No matter how the child got here, if it's here, then they are entitled to the support of both parents. So you really need to start developing talking points about why THAT right should…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/19 07:48 PM
4

I assume you are also in favor of men paying child support from the moment of conception, and also paying for half of all medical bills and the woman's missed work hours related to the pregnancy. If abortion is banned, then that would be the only logical solution. Because right now men have ZERO responsibilities until there is an actual child outside the womb.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/19 07:43 PM
3

Men don't really create these new times. They just react to them. Tinder was founded and created by a majority male team. I'd argue men are exactly the ones creating these times of easy hookup culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/19 09:42 PM
17

So many women. Wonder how this has affected OP's ability to "pair bond."
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/19 06:09 PM
3

The best place is just in your life. I've never understood the false dichotomy that you can only meet women online or in a bar. Zero of my long-term relationships have started in bars. I've pretty much exclusively met my SOs (and my now husband) through mutual friends or at an event/shared activity. Examples include: community theatre, trivia (I guess that was in a bar, but it wasn't "bar scene" if that makes any sense), going rock-climbing with coworkers and they brought a friend along, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/19 09:08 PM
1

You say it was a no-brainer financially, but later state that you "sacrificed" her income which meant smaller house + vacations. You imply you would have had a bigger house and better vacations if she kept working, which means you'd have come out better financially if she'd worked. So would you have been better off financially keeping her income and paying for childcare or would childcare have just eaten up her entire paycheck? I understand if you feel the quality of family life was better with …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/19 09:00 PM
1

Meh, I think you're off base there. Tons of mothers love their children and still have a desire to advance themselves professionally. Working mothers are still raising their children, but thanks for the call from the 1950s implying they are not. My best friend stayed home with her first child for a year. She quickly realized that staying at home and having only an infant to interact with most of the day was having a negative affect on her mental health. She found an awesome home daycare for him,…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/19 08:52 PM
1

I want to give it a try, but I also have to box dye my hair every 4-6 weeks to cover greys. I'm worried I'll mess up my balayage while doing my box dye, and I don't think I can afford salon color that often. Any experience with this?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/19 10:52 PM
11

In a relationship, saying you’re sorry doesn’t necessarily equate to admitting wrongdoing. It’s about empathy for your partner. If my husband is lying down with a headache and I come home and bust up in the room talking loudly, he might say, “Babe, I don’t feel well, can you be quieter?” I didn’t actually do anything wrong or malicious, didn’t even know he was feeling bad. But I will tell him I’m sorry and do what I need to so that he can feel better.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/19 06:57 PM
3

But women can do that in every case. A woman can legally surrender her child with no questions asked at designated safe spaces. This was done to prevent the infamous "prom-night dumpster baby" epidemic that was plaguing the country. You're right, but if a man finds himself in possession of a newborn he does not wish to care for, he can do the same thing. It's not specific to women, but women tend to do it more, because they generally find themselves in possession of a child after birthing it. In…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/18 09:09 PM
2

Not really. If the child does not have rights to support from both parents, then the framework is in place to set up an opt-out. But the opt-out can't even be put in place if the child's right to both parents' support exists. Right now, nobody can waive that child's right legally. Support can remain the default position (though it seems having it be opt-in would provide more cost-saving administratively).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/18 04:56 PM
5

>The landscape of options justifies paper abortion, and that's why it'll become law within the next decade. I think your legal argument is aimed in the wrong direction. Your beef is not with the fact that women can get abortions. The reason child support exists is because the child has rights. Yes, the child would not exist if the woman got an abortion. However, as a society, we try (in theory) not to directly punish children for their parents' poor choices. So, a child that is born currently ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/18 04:21 PM
9

Holy hyperbole, Batman. Women being allowed to be topless in the exact same ways/locations that men are allowed to be topless does not mean that a business can no longer enforce a dress code. To answer your question: no, but I would also not be okay with a male CEO showing up to a board meeting topless. I’m just assuming this board meeting is taking place in an office and not on a beach in Jamaica.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/18 07:14 PM
3

I wasn’t necessarily disagreeing with you, just pointing out that “millions” doesn’t necessarily equate to it being super common.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/18 03:35 PM
3

It says exactly that. I used the same chart you linked. 76.7% are aged within 5 years or less. You can’t change the parameter to 3 years or less and claim I’m incorrect. Your notion that women “tend” to marry men much older than them is still wrong, unless your definition of “much older” is 2-3 years older. Because that is the range where the number top 50%.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/18 03:34 PM
1

Still only 38% of companies do, as of 2017.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/18 03:16 PM
2

My husband and I are Dual Income Large Dog Owners.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/18 03:08 PM
5

75% of heterosexual married couples are aged within 5 years of one another. Over a third of marriages, the age of both spouses is within one year. So no, women do not “tend” to marry much older men. In fact, less than 20% of women are married to a man more than 5 years older.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/18 03:03 PM
9

And those people are generally not supporting children who live in their home. How is SSI income relevant to the topic of stay at home parents?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/18 02:43 PM
1

Having a random story posted on Reddit about “some dude” does not amount to punishment. I know more about not reporting a sexual assault than I’d like to, thank you very much. Those waters are very hard to navigate when you’re 13 years old. But I digress.... You don’t report strangers on the street saying skeevy things because it’s not illegal, just unsavory. You tell them to fuck off or politely ask them not to address you that way, depending on the situation. If you have an ongoing problem at …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/18 01:17 AM
1

You know the old definition of pornography? “I can’t define it, but I know it when I see it.” Harassment is the same way. Life, not even the law, is as black and white as you want it to be. The specific facts matter. Intent matters. Interpretation matters. Have a good night.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/18 12:57 AM
1

I tire of repeating the same things over and over, and again, can’t type much on this tiny keyboard. Have fun living in your world where words can only be interpreted one way and physical/verbal cues do not exist. I hope you are able to find your voice and speak up if you are uncomfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/18 12:44 AM
1

I’m on a mobile device so I’m not typing out another long response. I’ll only say that no person with any ounce of empathy would respond to the guy’s story in the way you described if it was framed in the same way the woman’s story was (“it was so weird, I told her to please not call me that”). Bottom line, we are all responsible for ourselves. If something makes you uncomfortable, YOU are responsible for speaking up. And people should avoid getting overly familiar with strangers.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/18 12:25 AM
1

And if you made a thread that said you were working a drive-thru, and a woman in the back seat of a car leaned up and said, "Hey, baby!" to you...I'm willing to bet the majority of people would say she was hitting on you, not just trying to make chit-chat. Again, only the person who was there, and can read the physical/verbal cues knows for sure, so I am inclined to take their word for it. A woman doesn't have to be okay with being hit on by strangers just because a man in the same situation wou…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/18 10:07 PM
1

All the person in your link did was complain on Reddit after the fact. Complaining on the internet about something you didn't like is not "hanging someone out to dry." Hell, Yelp has made an entire business out of it. And the woman in question did exactly what anyone in the same situation should do. She said, "Please don't do that." She didn't yell, she didn't put the guy's picture up on a wall of shame, she didn't throw a firebomb into the car. She just said stop. The end. And no, the woman in …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/18 09:19 PM
1

Then don't give women a pass. Don't give anyone a pass. There is nothing stopping you from telling your boss or the receptionist that you prefer they not call you "baby" if it makes you uncomfortable or you simply prefer to be called by your name. The point you seem to be missing is that women are simply more likely to find this practice unwelcome/uncomfortable than men are. That is not evidence of a double standard. A double standard would be that women are allowed to say they prefer not to be …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/18 08:51 PM
1

I'm interested to know what your definition of "hung out to dry" is in this context. What real-life consequences are men facing besides being side-eyed and/or asked to please not call someone a pet name? I live in the Deep American South, so I'm very familiar with the propensity for some people to use pet names in their everyday life. My own father calls every woman he meets "darlin." I know that most people are doing it because it's habit, or the way they were raised. Some people do it as a sub…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/18 06:25 PM
5

Viewing relationships as adversarial or transactional (red) versus viewing them as mutually beneficial partnerships (blue).
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/18 10:23 PM
2

So really option 4, practically speaking.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/18 01:37 AM
2

Ew no. Those eyebrows are atrocious, and also why is he squinting so hard?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/18 08:29 PM
1

Who is supposed to be the CEO and who is the marketer in your scenario? And who is the client party supposed to represent? I can't even discern who is supposed to be who in your analogy, that's how poor it is. Are you automatically placing the higher earner in the role of the lower earner's boss/superior? Because that's not how marriages work. One spouse is not the other's employee because they earn different salaries. Marriage is not agreement that each member is an equal contributor Not necess…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/18 04:07 PM
2

Sure, they are partners, but if they are not bringing equal value, then the partnership is not between equals. Under the law, they are treated as equals. How one views the other is wholly irrelevant. If I start a business with a friend of mine he will get a proportion of the bussiness earnings that is fair when compared to the value he brings to said business and that would be written in a contract. If he does low skill jobs he gets little pay. Not if you agreed to be equal partners from the sta…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/18 09:32 PM
5

This is not how any of this works. People who are married are partners. A woman who stays at home to raise children is not a cook, a nanny, or any of the other bullshit you listed. She is an equal partner in a marriage, not a member of the household staff. If you open a business with your friend and agree to be equal partners, you don't get to just turn around the minute business is booming and say, "Listen, friend, you really only set up the phones, kept the office clean, and ran the day-to-day…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/18 05:59 PM
3

You do not get to make that decision for seven billion people, other person. Sometimes I have dreaded sex - but I'd do it anyways, because I wanted to please my partner. Fair point, but what I'm getting at is, that is your decision and by moving forward and giving your partner the physical/verbal cues that you're into it, you are giving your consent. Male physical power is policed. Women's sexual power isn't. And that's bullshit. Are you trying to imply we should make hurting someone's feeling i…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/18 06:39 PM
6

Well, this is kind of ridiculous use of the word "enthusiastic," then. Literally defines it as excitement. Sex should be exciting, at least inasmuch as you find watching a series on Netflix or eating a nice meal exciting. You should be excited for it, not dreading it. How about... you get your bureaucrats out of people's bedrooms, and stop dictating how sexual interactions must take place every time? What the fuck gives you the right? People do have a right not to be raped/assaulted, so there's …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/18 04:53 PM
6

"Enthusiastic" to me means that they are responding to your advances, either verbally or physically. They are wrapping their arms around you to pull you closer, they are smiling, they are responding to your touch positively. How about, if there is ANY question in your mind, just pause and make some sexy talk to ascertain whether the other person is still into it? "You like this?" "How about we get those pants off, hmmm?" Is possibly missing out on one night of sex really worth a possible assault…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/18 04:08 PM
1

The fact that you consider basic hygiene and education to be "extras" shows me that you are not interested in making logic-based, good faith arguments. A child does not need to be bathed and needs only one shirt (which apparently doesn't ever need to laundered)? Oh well. Good talk.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/17 01:05 AM
1

Since you like to nitpick down to the penny...just googled average child support payment (a little higher than it used to be, at $430 per month). Let's be conservative and say the rent is $650, so that's $162.50 right there. Utilities (kids take way more baths and require laundry be done way more often), another $75 for the kid's share probably. You now have $189.50 left for the month. Oh yeah, food. Groceries, for a conservative estimate, $300 per month. If the kid eats one third of the food, w…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/17 09:17 PM
2

Okay, but even if they live in a studio apartment, the kid has a place to live with running water and electricity, which IS worth something. You can't just write it off as a non-expense. By your logic the mother can't buy a box of spaghetti to cook for the kid because "she's going to eat some of it too."
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/17 07:01 PM
2

That would be incredibly easy, considering the average monthly child support in the US is around $300. One copy of the lease for a 2 BR apartment would be the only receipt needed to show that money is putting a roof over the kid's head.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/17 06:12 PM
2

Exactly. Disney had about as much influence on my outlook/goals as Fraggle Rock. The only truly lasting thing Disney gave me was a love for well-written musical numbers.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/17 09:11 PM
1

Not sure you can say it's true in a majority of cases, unless you know the personal motivations and job prospects of every single person who has ever left a job at a failing company. There is a big difference between staying in a romantic relationship just because you'd rather not be alone versus because you actually care for the other person and want to be with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/17 02:50 AM
1

You can't say that definitively, and even if it's true, he'll only be doing so out of desperation/fear of being unemployed. Not loyalty/commitment to the company.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/17 02:30 AM
1

The second guy is only staying because it's better than being unemployed. That's not "loyal" or "committed."
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/17 12:39 AM
3

My SO and I are actually considering the "have one, adopt one" route. Specifically so that we can avoid the whole " well we had two of X, do we try for Y?" thing. With any luck we can have one child biologically and then adopt (an older child, not an infant) of the opposite sex. We are also both already 32, so I don't think I'm into more than one pregnancy.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/17 02:49 AM
3

Entitlement to me is expecting to get something that you are not owed, and an extension of that is reacting poorly when you don't get that thing. A stranger owes no more to another stranger than basic politeness. A simple, "No thank you" if they don't wish to talk. Anything above that is nice, but not required. As long as you accept their declination of your conversation with grace, I would not say you were acting entitled. Even if you found their reaction cold or unfriendly, and complained to y…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/17 04:11 PM
4

Okay. Anger and entitlement are not mutually exclusive. A guy can be angry, and still be acting entitled.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/17 02:18 PM
4

Yeah, I'd say he was a bit entitled. He felt like he deserved to win, even though he didn't earn it, and decided to lash out and call names when he didn't get what he thought he deserved.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/17 01:47 PM
4

Really? If a kid is playing a game, and loses, and then starts berating their opponent for not letting them win...I would absolutely call that kid an entitled brat.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/17 01:37 PM
5

A better analogy would be cursing out the other team because they didn't let your team win.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/17 12:02 PM
1

It's called "reasonable force" and should be used to defend yourself from any attack, regardless of your own gender or the attacker's. If somebody slaps you across the face, you don't lay them out with a sucker punch. You either run, or use just enough force to immobilize them/stop the attack.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/17 04:32 PM
1

Got into this debate with a guy on FB once (a dude I went to college with) who insisted that women he was approaching on the street just couldn't take a compliment. Also that they were being "hypocrites" because "they all want a guy like the ones in the movies, but when I tell them they smell nice, they act creeped out." I told him that, while it's perfectly fine to attempt to strike up conversation with a woman, I would be very uncomfortable with a random stranger commenting on my smell. His re…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/17 05:17 PM
2

Where did I shift exactly? You're telling me something IS objectively an advantage to me because YOU would like it if you had it. It would be like me telling you that you have the advantage of living on a strawberry farm and getting to eat strawberries whenever you feel like it. But strawberries make you feel sick. You don't like them. Is it still an advantage to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/17 12:49 PM
2

Wait, now "the dating world" consists only of casual hookups? I believe you can date and not be into one night stands. So access to one night stands is still not an advantage for someone that's not interested in them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/17 12:23 PM
2

You're missing the point. The opportunities for getting hit on by strangers or getting casual sex are not advantages if you don't want those things.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/17 12:05 PM
2

Interesting. You're the first RPer I've encountered with that perspective. Most do frame it as a dip in attractiveness or declining fertility, not actual loss of fertility.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/17 06:10 PM
3

I thought RP believed the wall hits well before menopause. Don't you guys think women hit the wall at, like, 30?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/17 05:55 PM
2

I can't call it a requirement. More like a preference. I generally like 5'10" or up. However one of my exes, together about 2 years, had spina bifida, so was shorter than that due to his spine curvature (just around my height of 5'7"). Didn't care because he was funny as hell and I found him attractive. Sounds weird to say, but when you really like somebody, all those "specifics" start to...kind of fade into the background I guess. It's no longer, "I like blonde hair, at least 5'10", and a small…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/17 08:08 PM
4

Whenever they spout BS tropes that like, it's so satisfying. I can rest easy knowing that they don't actually spend time with real women. Their picture of how "women" act comes entirely from bad romantic comedies (usually written by other men).
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/17 02:55 PM
4

And guys who bang anything that moves will still complain and cry "where have all the pure virgin women gone?" and "why can't they find a nice virgin girl to settle down with?" after they've had sex with 200 women. Hypocrites gonna hypocrite.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/17 09:36 PM
1

The first two are much too baby-faced and "pretty" for my taste. The third is handsome enough (probably more attractive to me because he actually looks above the age of 16, which the first two do not). But if the third one has the IQ and conversational skills of a brick, no thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/17 07:30 PM
3

To say all men are privileged would mean there is no man who is disadvantaged in life or struggling. Which isn't true. That's not actually what privilege means, in the context that it's being used here. Privilege doesn't mean that no member of the privileged group will ever be in a poor situation, it only means that they (generally) are in a better position than a member of the underprivileged group in the same situation. So while a white person might be living below the poverty line, privilege …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/17 02:58 AM
2

she would pretty much be ignoring his feelings and continuing to hang out with him even though she knows how he feels. It's a request, not a demand. The man is totally free to say, "Listen, I've got feelings for you and it's too difficult for me to be around you and just try to pretend I don't. So I don't think we should spend time together anymore." Whenever people talk about friend-zoning, I can't help but picture a girl pulling a guy by the ankles out of his house while he desperately claws a…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/17 06:41 PM
2

Not the person you asked, but I'll give it a go. For me, "improving myself" involved a lot of introspection, becoming more self-aware. The introspection and self-awareness then resulted in outward improvements such as: finding a sense of style that was attractive yet comfortable for me, practicing and learning more about subjects/hobbies I enjoyed, feeling more comfortable in social situations because I felt more confident in who I was and the value I had without needing to be validated by other…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/17 04:46 PM
2

Newsflash! Men have low standards for casual sex. Film at 11.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/17 10:41 PM
1

This is precisely what happened in my parents' divorce. We moved into a small apartment with Mom. I know at some point shortly after my Dad moved out of the original house and to a bigger home. It's possible the proceeds from the original home's sale were split (can't remember, I was young). We did every other weekend with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/16 10:09 PM
1

I'm not sure if I will or won't. Most likely scenario is that I keep my last name legally/professionally and adopt his socially. That way the world can see us as "The [LastName] Family" but I don't have to hassle with mountains of paperwork.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/16 07:54 PM
3

Her career could be intrinsically, objectively, measurable-in-real-American-dollars damaged by changing her name. In that case, wouldn't keeping her name actually show that she's committed to the success of the household (because she wants to make sure her contribution of resources is stable)?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/16 07:44 PM
5

Without fail? Really? You think a 30 yr old from a rich background who takes amazing care of herself will, without fail, be less attractive than an overweight 25 yr old with jacked up teeth from down in the holler?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/16 05:13 PM
3

That wasn't the question. The question was how common are false rape reports.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/16 05:06 PM
2

Do you have any evidence that the rate of false rape reports is vastly higher when compared to false reports of other crimes? It's nice that you can list the differences between crimes, but that doesn't make what I said false.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/16 11:29 AM
3

From what I've read, no more common than false reporting of any other crime.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/16 08:43 PM
3

If you are targeting a group in a negative way, it is hate speech. No, that's not what hate speech is. Would it be hate speech to say, "Drunk drivers are harmful to society. I can't stand drunk drivers."? No. Because while I'm targeting them negatively, I am targeting a set of behaviors, not some immutable trait.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/16 07:28 PM
1

I think it makes the point that it's hypocritical to expect certain behavior out of your partner when you are not willing to do the same. It's okay to have the preference, but that doesn't mean it's not hypocritical. Having a preference for a physical trait that you didn't happen to be born with cannot be considered hypocritical, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/16 07:37 PM
1

Physical traits are not the same as behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/16 10:52 AM
3

A man "adopts" the children of a single mom when they marry by default in most states. Negative. Adoption is a legal process that requires a ton of red tape. Nobody automatically "adopts" kids via marriage certificate.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/16 06:04 PM
1

What about presents/surprises for your SO? If I purchase a trip or a present, I don't want him looking through my emails and finding the confirmation emails.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/16 04:32 PM
2

Of course nobody behaves one way. But these labels are general personality types. I get all squeaky when I see a cute puppy, but nobody would describe me generally as a "bubbly, girly" person. You will rarely describe somebody as "a distinguished, poised" person and also a "brash, flirty, provocative" person. Adapting your demeanor to suit the environment/situation is not the same as totally changing your personality type.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/16 06:49 PM
3

I suppose, but I just assumed most adults know to adapt their behavior to the current situation. Not that it constitutes totally different personality types when they do so. Somebody who is described as having a "bubbly, girly" personality will generally not be described as also having a "brash, provocative" personality. Of course you can act professional at a work event, and curse at a football game. That doesn't generally mean your overall demeanor/sense of humor/etc changes.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/16 04:58 PM
7

Many of the qualities listed are diometrically opposed to one another. A woman can't be both "giggly/bubbly" and also "distinguished/poised" and at the same time "brash/provocative." You may find mixtures like the "sexy" behavioral traits lining up with the "cute" physical traits. But then how do you rate that? Do the behavioral traits count for more than the physical? Or does how they make you feel count for more than the behavioral?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/16 11:53 AM
1

I don't buy into the whole Alpha/Beta thing. To me it is a false dichotomy. Most people are a mixture of the two, not one or the other. Also, women looking to hook up at bars are not representative of all women, or even the majority of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/16 01:19 AM
5

I'm not here to convince you to get into an LTR if you have no interest in one. Again, different people want different things. Many love and trust their partners, never cheat or get cheated on, and enjoy the companionship, support, and regular sex that comes with a long term relationship. Some people prefer variety, no commitments, and total independence. Fair's fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/16 02:16 PM
3

How is the fixation red pillers put on physical apperance detrimental to relationships? I never said it was. There's nothing wrong with trying to look good. They should be out banging away as many hot girls as possible instead of worrying about relationships. Like I said, success means different things to different people. Casual sex is not necessarily fulfilling long-term for everybody.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/16 11:38 AM
8

I can agree with all of that. TRP actually seems the perfect model if you are not concerned with longevity or affection (for lack of a better word). Different people have different definitions of success. But when RPers try to extrapolate what works on casual plates (women just want you to be ripped and good looking, they actually hate when you show emotion at all) to all relationships, I think they falter.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/16 04:54 PM
9

I'd say the most concerning thing is that they encourage people to begin romantic relationships from a defensive stance. I am of the opinion that successful relationships require some level of trust and vulnerability (this goes for romance AND friendships). They start from a place of mistrust, mistrust breeds conflict, conflict can't be resolved without good communication (I also find good communication tactics to be lacking in TRP and have issues with their conflict resolution tactics such as "…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/16 02:42 PM
5

See, this is interesting to me. Maybe all my relationships have defied the rules of normal human interaction, but I will never understand the BFD that is made around "the approach." Have most of your (or your friends') relationships started this way? In my experience it goes like this: 1) become acquainted through mutual friends or mutual activity 2) exchange contact info to facilitate some social gathering or activity (going rock climbing this weekend, want to join?) 3) flirt like crazy at the …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/16 02:28 PM
1

Yes, men who lift tend to have more partners on average. But more partners doesn't mean more sex. Can't remember if it was the same study but in a thread a couple days ago somebody pointed out this research, and the final paragraphs noted that the college women surveyed reported their LTR partners as less muscular. I don't know of a study that determines frequency of sex between those casually hooking up and those in non-cohabiting relationships. But it has been determined that cohabiting and ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/16 11:32 AM
2

Exactly. It's one of the reasons I hate sweeping generalizations (about any topic). Most issues are far more complex and nuanced than people think (especially when we're dealing with human beings), but the world seems less scary when you feel like you have all the answers. To quote Oscar Wilde: "The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple."
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/16 01:39 PM
5

Sure, but unless you're speaking to somebody you know is a) also from the Midwest, b) has a similar background as you, and c) frequents the same places/social circle as you...your personal experience can't help them glean new information any more than a study done in London. I also enjoy hearing about other people's personal thoughts, beliefs, and experiences. It's when it gets taken to the extreme "this happened to me so I know how all men/women will act/think in that situation" that it becomes…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/16 12:27 PM
6

I'd agree with that. But in this sub people love to throw out generalizations they've made and then claim as fact. When asked for some evidence that is not bogged down by their own confirmation bias, they just say, "It's the truth, sorry you can't accept it." That is just as limiting and illogical as the "show me a study that proves it" crowd.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/16 11:37 AM
4

I agree when you're discussing abstract ideas or personal experiences, asking for studies is silly and halts the conversation. But when somebody tries to use their personal experiences to extrapolate that "men do Y more than women" or "women are more likely to do X" then they have ventured into hypothesis and should make some effort back up their claims.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/16 11:28 AM
2

muscular guys in college have the most sex What? Young people who aren't looking for commitment have sex for shallow reasons? Say it ain't so. I'll bet research also shows that skinny sorority girls with big boobies have lots of sex. Quelle surprise. But the data here is flawed, because it only says these men have more sexual partners, not that they are having more sex. See the closing paragraphs, where college women reported that their long-term partners were generally less muscular: Interestin…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/16 01:57 PM
2

Take away the obviously fake teeth he's wearing, and yes, that guy is physically attractive. But even if I didn't find him attractive, that doesn't mean somebody else won't. Do you find this girl attractive? Nobody is saying looks don't matter. But OP's premise that women only go for one body type/facial structure wrapped in different clothes while men's tastes are across the board is ridiculous.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/16 07:44 PM
3

I am not missing the point of the post. The point of the post is at best flawed and at worst demonstrably false.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/16 05:46 PM
5

every Friday night with your geek buddies This is extra hilarious to me considering my SO hosts weekly D&D at our house on Friday nights. I know you RPers tell me I'm not really attracted to a nerd, but damn if all the great sex just doesn't make it fall right out of my pretty little head.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/16 03:18 PM
1

if he refuses the paternity test then that would constitute consent to the child support Can't say I'd disagree with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/16 04:53 PM
1

What would happen if the man refused the test? He could be thrown in jail for refusing to obey a court order, but that still leaves the child without support. It just seems superfluous when a man can already contest paternity through the legal system.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/16 04:24 PM
3

I read an admittedly old study (late 90s I think). But it determined at the time that only about a third of unmarried single mothers even had a court order for support. And many of those who had court orders were still not actually receiving anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/16 04:05 PM
3

Fathers should be able to demand paternity tests before being required to pay child support. Isn't that already an option? Won't a court generally order a paternity test if a man is contesting?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/16 04:03 PM
1

Even if things are skewed in favor of women (again, that's a perception), lack of sex is not an injustice. Neither is other people expressing disdain for the way you express your views.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/16 11:48 PM
2

"Injustice" is a pretty strong word for Red Pill's perceived problems. Not having successful relationships is treated by most people as a string of bad luck/decisions, and an opportunity to mature and learn what you want (why I'm okay with the self-improvement aspect of RP). But thinking you've been treated unjustly because you dated some shitty women?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/16 02:24 PM
6

Yup. I don't teach a sport, but I do snowboard and took lessons alongside dudes. Even when I was consistently linking turns, I signed up for the beginner groups because I was still a bit shaky (I just figured I should be pretty much perfect at linking turns before moving up). Guys would almost always sign up for intermediate, even if it was their second time on a snowboard.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/16 08:29 PM
3

This extends outside of looks as well. Women are far more likely to understate their abilities, while men are more likely to overstate them.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/16 07:29 PM
2

If I said that phrase, it would mean that I want somebody who finds me smart, funny, and enjoys talking to and being with me. My looks are going to fade eventually (although according to RP, since I'm 31 I've basically already morphed into a bridge troll), and I want somebody to still be happy and enjoy my company even when we're older. Accomplishments, career, etc are (to me) basically just extensions of your personality. My SO works in IT, and thus has a very analytical engineering brain. His …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/16 08:55 PM
3

But since when did wanting your partner to be a contributing member of society and have similar goals as you become "a huge laundry list of demands?"
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/16 08:08 PM
2

I think since women tend to value things like intelligence, conversation, similar sense of humor, etc, they will generally look for partners of similar education/socio-economic status. Money may be a factor if a woman wants kids, because we live with the knowledge that child-bearing can sideline us in our careers. Even if a woman plans to work after having a kid, it's in the back of our brains that complications could arise that put our health (and therefore our earning potential) in jeopardy. H…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/16 04:36 PM
1

Because they like dancing. People have said this umpteen times now. Dancing is fun. Music is fun. Dancing to music is fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/16 11:50 AM
2

That's interesting. The first result for "average cost to raise a child Canada" shows a cost of $1070/month. Do you happen to live somewhere with a very low cost of living? I also found a nifty support calculator on the Canadian Dept of Justice website: http://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/fl-df/child-enfant/look-rech.asp
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/16 08:17 PM
5

I agree with this. A "princess" or a "spoiled brat" type.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/16 05:06 PM
2

I guess the bottom line is a woman that needs dance parties in her life isn't for me. And that's totally fair. Trust me, I tire out much more quickly than I used to, and I leave the late night events earlier now in favor of going home to my SO and my dog. But what I'm trying to say is that, for those of us who actually love dance as an activity, it's totally possible to go enjoy a night out dancing without grinding our genitals on a stranger.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/16 05:03 PM
1

Being on best behavior does not mean we can't dance.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/16 05:00 PM
1

but knowing you work in the club scene would pretty much disqualify you from my list off the bat. I don't work in the club scene. I work for a very respected dance organization. We have gala events and parties for artists/donors/staff/etc. As the night progresses, and the older folks head out, the DJ ramps up and the dancers and staff like to blow off steam.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/16 04:42 PM
2

If my wife was a ballet dancer, I'd have no issues. You must not have met many ballet dancers. Trust me, they get DOWN at these parties. Not as much as the b-boys and girls obviously, but showing off is sort of inherent in their genre. I'd say that a job working the door at a club does not qualify as a job in the dance field. It's a hospitality/service industry job. And somebody who drops their panties just because somebody hit on them is not a great choice of partner no matter what their job is…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/16 04:39 PM
2

But why would it be different? Why would anybody do an activity they enjoy in the presence of the opposite sex if it's not because they like the attention?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/16 04:23 PM
1

So when a man goes to, say, a rock climbing gym. Same thing, right? He is doing it to get attention from the women there? You can't deny that men enjoy attention from women.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/16 04:20 PM
4

So are you telling me that I do not enjoy dancing as an activity? I only want to dance because of the male attention I might receive?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/16 04:14 PM
1

I mean, if its about "dancing" why can't your SO hop around WITH you in the club? I already answered this. He doesn't like dancing. He'll come out occasionally, especially if it's a work thing (yes, dance parties are part of my job). But he doesn't enjoy dancing the way I do. Are you really going to deny that clubs are places for hookups? No, I will not deny that hookups can originate in clubs. Honestly, we don't go to many stereotypical "clubs." Around here, dancing usually happens because our …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/16 04:10 PM
1

I really don't get it. I actually work in the dance field. Myself and my coworkers all have backgrounds as dancers. Dance parties, complete with DJs, are actually a part of our work week. But nope, we couldn't possibly enjoy music or dancing. The only possible explanation is we're looking for some Chad to sweat on us for a few hours.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/16 04:02 PM
1

Why would doing an activity you enjoy not be a good idea? Edit: Downvoted as usual. I will clarify by asking a question. Why is it not a good idea to go out dancing? Is the very fact that male attention may be directed at a woman a reason for her to eschew the activity altogether?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/16 03:41 PM
4

for the specific purpose of attracting attention from other men Weird. I thought we went out dancing to dance.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/16 03:28 PM
2

Go out with your same sex friends to do shit your SO's don't like. Why cut them OUT of things they'd enjoy WITH you? In my case, dancing is something I enjoy that my SO doesn't so much. He's happy to let me go dance with my coworkers. He and other SOs will join occasionally, and we're happy when they do. But they just don't love dancing as much as we do.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/16 03:12 PM
0

According to a quick Google search, average cost to raise a child in 2013 was $245,340, or $304,480 after adjusting for projected inflation. Average child support payment (according to the last census) is $430. At that rate of payment, the non-custodial parent pays about 30.5% of the monetary cost. If we're generous, and say they are paying $600, that's still only about 42% of the costs.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/16 10:54 AM
1

A non-custodial parent's support payments generally amount to about 35% or less of the cost of raising the child. It's actually unfair in their favor.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/16 10:52 PM
2

Relationships are about power - who has it, who wields it, who does a better job of wielding it, how it's wielded, and the purposes for which it's wielded. False premise.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/16 02:59 PM
1

When I was younger I dated a guy who never "let" me drive when we were going places together because "it's the man's job to drive." I didn't argue often because I didn't care either way, but it was somewhat annoying.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/16 12:50 AM
1

That's not true. Women don't hate women for being women.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/16 01:31 AM
1

That's not what misogyny means... Women don't hate other women or themselves for not having certain talents or traits. Feminism is about having the choice to take on either homemaker OR career roles as the individual sees fit.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/16 11:00 PM
1

There is absolutely.no way that women will ever dominate surgery, or military strategy or anything like it. You may be right, but it does remain to be seen. Money is less valuable to women than men, and the status that come swoth the territory or jobs like that is also less valuable to women than men. Fewer people of a certain gender going into a field does not make it "masculine" or "feminine." This is pretty clear because there are female surgeons. They are not exhibiting masculinity when they…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/16 09:50 PM
1

Okay. That's why I don't see a point in calling things "masculine abilities" and "feminine abilities." It is a limiting vernacular.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/16 08:56 PM
1

I agree with that. But should we limit an individual person's choices and desired outcome based on their gender?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/16 08:52 PM
2

The problem is you are calling things "masculine abilities" and "feminine abilities" instead of just "abilities." Some people are great at programming computers. Some have great financial minds. Some are great artists. Some are great caretakers. A person's gender does not necessarily determine their abilities. The point of feminism is that a woman can decide to be a caretaker, or be a pilot. A man can decide to be an interior decorator, or a portfolio analyst. We try not to limit you to a certai…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/16 08:22 PM
3

Most men voluntarily agree to give the women primary custody. More than 90% (if I remember the study correctly) of custody agreements are made outside court, with men freely agreeing to less custody.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/16 05:08 PM
1

This is an interesting question, and obviously I'd be hard pressed to say a simple yes or no because so many factors will play into whether marriage is a good idea for any individual person. But I want to address those who say you can have all the same benefits of marriage with an LTR. It may be true that an LTR looks, practically, a lot like a marriage. You can say that you are just as committed to one another as a married couple would be, just without the piece of paper. And that's good, if bo…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/16 04:32 PM
0

That's interesting. Were these workplaces female-dominated (by that I mean majority women)? I work in a field that is female-dominated, my organization is probably 85-90% women. The highest ranking positions are held by by women. In my experience the authority of these other women is inspiring more than anything. We see them as strong, smart people and we want to emulate them in order to be better and eventually advance in the field. Edit: Really, I got downvoted for just saying what my experien…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/16 11:43 AM
1

The father may be correct, but courts are reticent to take children away from their biological parents barring real abuse or neglect. We don't take kids away from just any poor person until and unless they demonstrate the environment they provide is harmful to the child.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/16 01:48 AM
1

The average cost of raising a child to 18, according to Google, is around $245,000. The average child support payment in the US is $431/month. That means over the child's lifetime, the custodial parent experiences a net negative of almost $152,000. Edit: custodial parent, not the noncustodial
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/16 01:35 AM
1

Of course, you still have numerous problems with this system: mothers who spend the child support on themselves, unfairly high financial burden on the father when the child is adequately provided for, etc. Absolutely, and there is some legal recourse that can hopefully help in those situations. If a child is not being adequately fed, clothed, housed, or otherwise cared for, the noncustodial parent should document everything and use that evidence to revisit child support/custody. In fact, the opt…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/16 01:18 AM
1

Not insures, but hopefully lowers the risk. You wouldn't go into a business deal with somebody you didn't trust, would you?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/16 01:09 AM
1

I will answer, and I really do want this to be civil. This is an interesting debate to me because I find law to be fascinating. Yes, women do get an additional chance to "opt out" if you will. This is a benefit that comes with a cost (the physical & financial cost of undergoing an abortion). Men are in now way responsible for anything related to pregnancy or abortions. They have no costs associated with those, so they also have no benefits associated with those. If a woman does not utilize this …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/16 07:04 PM
1

Custody laws, as written, are gender neutral. Often the mother will get default custody immediately after birth because they need to breastfeed. But after the immediate newborn stage, the default is 50/50 split before other factors are considered. Fathers have the right to start custody proceedings after the child is born.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/16 06:23 PM
0

Hey, I think women should be legally required to notify the father. But shitty people do shitty things, and this is one way to try to mitigate it. It's not perfect, but it's a better practical option than "make people not tell lies and be shitty."
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/16 06:21 PM
2

There is the putative father registry: a state level legal option for unmarried males to document through a notary public any female they engage with in intercourse, for the purpose of retaining parental rights for any child they may father.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/16 04:59 PM
5

When a child is born, both parents have the same options. Both parents don't want the child: Society takes over. Only woman wants child: She takes custody, man pays support. Only man wants child: He takes custody, woman pays support. Edit: formatting.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/16 04:40 PM
5

Finding out if he's sired a child might take some effort on his part. But it's far from impossible. There is something called the putative father registry. It is, I quote: a state level legal option for unmarried males to document through a notary public any female they engage with in intercourse, for the purpose of retaining parental rights for any child they may father.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/16 04:14 PM
3

Nice strawman (not that people don't say this to woman all the time). Pregnancies are typically unintentional if birth control is being used. You may take precautions, but they can happen accidentally. Rape, on the other hand, does not happen accidentally. Edit: apologies, because I do realize that in this context, a woman running off with the child is an intentional act (not enough coffee yet this morning). I would give this same advice (sleep with people you trust) to a woman complaining that …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/16 02:51 PM
6

when you state that avoiding unwanted pregnancies to be the only viable solution Never said this at all. The person I was responding to said that a father might not even know a child has been born. A partner who is involved would know that.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/16 02:44 PM
5

Then abortion should be illegal since your "solution" applies to that issue as well Not sure how you got there. The two are not mutually exclusive. I can believe that sleeping with partners you trust decreases the potential for problems surrounding accidental pregnancy, and still believe in the right to have an abortion.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/16 02:00 PM
8

The law is not gender neutral because only the mother can unilateraly take the child there. Neither parent can get out of child support utilizing safe haven laws if the other parent is willing to take it. That is gender neutral. If you find out that your newborn was dropped at a safe haven against your wishes, you have every right to contact child services, prove that you are the parent, take the child and pursue the other parent for child support. Nobody, male or female, can permanently give a …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/16 01:47 PM
4

How is it naive or useless? It's good advice when taking risks that have a potential of profound effect on your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/16 01:09 PM
8

Safe haven laws do not require notification of the father, so the mother can use them at will. That's true, but an involved partner will know about the child and thus be able to assert their parental rights. If the mother is willing to give the child to the father, he can drop it at a safe haven. Either way, if the child is left at a safe haven, neither parent (male or female) is on the hook for child support, so it is gender neutral. A lot of times the father does not even know he has a child u…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/16 12:47 PM
5

Adoption and safe-haven laws are not gender specific though. If there is a willing parent that wants to take the child, the other parent cannot place it up for adoption or drop it at a safe haven. But if the other parent is unwilling to contest, either gender can utilize those options.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/16 11:25 AM
1

Why not?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/16 08:11 PM
1

What about travel expenses (some people live over 100 miles from the nearest clinic), lost wages from missing work, medical expenses if complications arise? Is half of that fair as well?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/16 03:13 PM
1

At the risk of sounding pedantic, you don't really "decide to birth" a child. Barring complications, or actively seeking the medical procedure to end it, a pregnant woman's body will birth a child. So it's more, "decided not to undergo a medical procedure." What percentage of expenses do you feel a father should be responsible for in the case of an abortion?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/16 11:38 AM
1

You lot say child support is for the child It is. and the child suffers when its not paid Never said that. A child might suffer if child support is not being paid by the non-custodial parent, but it's not a given. Now she deserves compensation... Under our current legal system the child is entitled to financial support from both its parents. This right belongs to the child and cannot officially be waived by either parent. You clearly do not agree with that, and I'm not asking you to. But you ask…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/16 07:44 PM
1

Because the mother was the one paying for the feeding/clothing/housing of the child until it turned 18. She went into a sort of "debt" (paying her own portion of the child's expenses as well as the father's), so now it must be paid back.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/16 06:27 PM
1

Actually I am. You're the one straw-manning and putting words in my mouth. You literally told me, "You want men to have no rights" yet I'm the one straw-manning and putting words in somebody's mouth. Got it. Finally! I wish you lot would start with this instead of the "best interests of the child" routine. Apologies, I assumed that anybody with even a tenuous grasp of the law understood that laws are not absolute, nor are they all treated equally. Yes, you want womenpeople to have the opt outrig…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/16 02:58 PM
1

You are not arguing in good faith on this. You can ignore the facts I present if you wish. I am not appealing to any law, simply stating which ones are relevant to this debate. To answer your question: all laws are not created equal, nor are all rights. Under the current system, the right to bodily autonomy trumps almost every other. So a woman's right to her own body trumps the rights of the child. We consider children innocents, so the rights of a child also trump the rights of the parents to …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/16 01:38 PM
1

Okay we are getting somewhere. You are not okay with child support when the man did not consent to being a parent. What I am telling you is that child support is a right granted to a child, and under the current law cannot be waived by either parent. So yes, your issue is the rights granted to the child. It has nothing to do with the rights of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/16 01:14 PM
1

So then you're okay with child support. What's the problem then?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/16 01:04 PM
0

You have a problem with child support? Correct or incorrect?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/16 12:59 PM
1

Okay. We may not agree on the big picture, but I respect consistency.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/16 08:07 PM
2

Okay, but in the case of an abortion the father should pay half of the costs of the following: the cost of the procedure, travel expenses, lost wages if the mother has to miss work, and medical expenses that may arise if there are complications. Is that fair?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/16 08:01 PM
2

Like I said, your beef is with the rights of the child. It has little to nothing to do with women. Financial abortion would remove the rights the child is currently granted under the law. If financial abortion is your desire, make fighting that right your tactic.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/16 07:21 PM
2

It's silly that anybody should have to do this. I agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/16 07:10 PM
2

I see what you're saying. But a physician choosing not to perform the procedure because he feels conflicted about the ethics is not the same as a woman making the medical decision. Many women also can't get sterilization when they are young or when they are married for the same reasons. It sucks. Some abortion doctors won't perform the procedure after a certain number of weeks because they feel conflicted ethically even if it's legal to do so. Doctors actually have a lot of power when it comes t…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/16 07:01 PM
2

Forgive me but I'm not seeing how this is the reverse of my argument. I said sex can lead to pregnancy. But I'm in favor of women having the option to make medical decisions that affect their reproductive systems, and that includes abortion. Also, Planned Parenthood's services actually save taxpayers money overall.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/16 06:55 PM
6

I'm not trying to imply you said that, and I apologize if it seems I did. But you do seem to want to say that since women have the option to make medical decisions about the pregnancy, that men should be able to not pay child support. I'm saying that logic doesn't follow. Your beef is with the rights of the child, not the rights of the woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/16 06:38 PM
4

I understand it's upsetting that men can't make decisions regarding a woman's pregnancy. But a woman also can't make decisions about a man's vasectomy or other medical procedure. We let people make, and be responsible for, their own medical decisions. It's why men are not responsible in any way for costs associated with abortion procedures. You really should take a different approach here. What you should be arguing is that children do not have a right to be supported financially by both their p…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/16 06:15 PM
4

I'm not telling anybody not to have sex. Just pointing out that there is a possibility of pregnancy occurring if you have it. I highly advocate easy access to birth control for both genders, and hope that more options for male birth control will be developed.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/16 05:52 PM
2

I'm really not. Pregnancy is a possibility if you have sex. That statement is 100% true and is not "anti-abortion" in any way.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/16 05:15 PM
3

If you want to avoid any possibility of pregnancy, the only option is no sex. Regardless of gender. If sex is happening, birth control is an option that has equal efficacy for both parties regardless of who is utilizing it. Both parties have the right to make decisions affecting their own reproductive systems at any stage of the game (within legal parameters of course).
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/16 05:05 PM
3

She can opt out, she just has to agree to never have sex. I don't think it's crazy or Republican to say that pregnancy is a possibility if you have sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/16 04:22 PM
3

but if the sperm donor wants to opt out He can opt out. He just has to make his deposit at a sperm bank and not inside a woman's vagina.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/16 03:40 PM
1

This is relevant to the discussion: http://youtu.be/Fr8HKRTavM0
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/16 03:54 PM
0

How many of the musicians you know actually have degrees in music? Most people who study music (if they stay in the field) become educators, private instructors, conductors, or become arts administrators (exec directors, marketing, development, etc). If they don't stay in the field, possibilities are endless. I know music/dance majors who have gone on to med school, law school, and a plethora of other jobs.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/16 03:03 AM
-1

I'm not offended. You're just wrong. Plenty of men support families with music degrees. The majority of my professors were men and had families.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/16 02:23 AM
2

I chose music because I could get a scholarship. I had a lot of experience and knowledge in that area already. I got an academic scholarship in addition, and enjoyed math and chem. But I was young and more concerned about enjoying my college experience (doing something that was challenging, but in which I already had a good base of knowledge) than how lucrative my career would be later. I was also very inspired by my theatre and music teachers, both of whom were alums of the school I ended up go…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/16 05:38 PM
3

Most music majors don't make their living performing. There are many jobs you can do with a music degree that allow you to live a perfectly comfortable life. If it was so useless, I doubt music would be a $15 billion a year industry.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/16 09:15 PM
3

Oh please. I was a music major and there were plenty of men in my department. We all busted our asses, usually staying at the music building well into the night. Our course loads were larger than math/science students. Nobody who majors is music thinks they are going to get rich doing it. But just because a field is less lucrative does not mean it requires less hard work.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/16 07:20 PM
1

I can totally agree with you on that. I'm not a parent myself, but I have no doubt that a big part of it is being able to adjust. And not only that, but be able to communicate to your partner where you are struggling and come to a solution together. My best friend tried being a SAHM. It took her about three months to realize that it was not for her. She was stir crazy, exhausted, missed working, and her son was getting a mom who was staying home because she felt obligated, not because she actual…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/16 10:04 PM
1

Oh, I don't doubt that one bit. Hormones really do a number on women both before and after birth. And if a woman wants that, her partner wants that, and it is a financially viable choice, she should stay home with her child. I was only saying that it shouldn't be automatically assumed. Everybody's situation is different, and partners should make the choice that best suits their family.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/16 09:06 PM
2

Most men I know also wouldn't date a jobless woman. None of the married couples I know have housewives or househusbands. Once you are in a marriage and have kids, then there can be a discussion about who stays home (if anybody does). Personally, I don't think it should be assumed that either parent will be stay-at-home, nor should it be assumed that if somebody does it will be the woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/16 04:24 PM
1

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a5/91/fa/a591fac7f705170ca63ab3c541e868fa.jpg
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/16 02:49 PM
2

Women usually cite things like "good sense of humor" and "intelligence" among things they value in a long-term partner. People who have the same level of education are more likely to have compatible sense of humor and intelligence levels. Men value looks, so education level is less important to them. And women who want children know there is a possibility they will have to take time off work (they may be put on bed rest, suffer complications, etc). They probably want to be sure that they won't b…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/16 02:38 PM
1

That's actually refreshing. I've seen many RPers claim outright that men are more trustworthy than women, more loyal, etc. I may not agree with your paradigm, but I respect consistency.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/16 12:26 PM
1

So why do we not see RP making posts about not trusting other men? It seems quite the opposite. They are encouraged to trust other men and become friends with them, but distrust women.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/16 11:53 AM
1

Are men more trustworthy than women?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/16 08:09 PM
1

NO when someone hates or distrusts a women are they Misogynist. Yes, and a major mantra of TRP is that you cannot trust women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/16 02:30 PM
1

Most girls I knew upon graduation from college were at 2-3 partners max. They were also typically from religious backgrounds. Visit the Bible Belt.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/16 07:32 PM
3

but after the marriage and kids I don't think its likely their sex life will amount to much. Why would you assume that the woman in scenario A is less attracted sexually to the man she marries vs the men she had sex with before? Can't he be just as attractive as the men before, but just has the "husband material" traits in addition to that? Why do we assume the man in scenario B is not settling in any area (he is getting a woman with all the family-centric interests he desires in addition to bei…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/16 06:10 PM
2

Offering something a thing they don't want (casual sex) is not some sort of noble act in comparison.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/16 05:45 PM
1

Can confirm. Originally from the South, now living in New England. When I was in college down South, girls put on a full "smoky eye" look to go to a baseball game.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/16 09:53 PM
3

Next question: Why do men get hair cuts? The answer will shock you!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/16 09:36 PM
8

It may not be for others. We do have mirrors. We can see ourselves. We want to see something we like when we look at ourselves. If it's for others, maybe to make a good impression? If you have a choice between being visually pleasing or not, most people will choose the more pleasing option. It's the same reason men might trim their beard versus letting it grow wild, or shave instead of having uneven stubble. Here's an analogy. The human ear is more likely to enjoy songs with simple melodies and …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/16 07:22 PM
1

See again the comment I made about visual aesthetics. There is some science behind why we find certain things more visually pleasing than others.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/16 07:00 PM
5

Not who you were asking, but I'll give it a go: Why do they want to cover up blemishes? What does covering up blemishes do for them? Most people see blemishes as undesirable, therefore they want to hide them. Why do they play with pallet colors? Most are not makeup artists professionally. Why do they need to be good at combining makeup colors? Why do people paint, or draw, or play the piano? They enjoy it and it's fun for them. How does makeup help with insecurity? They may have blemishes (see a…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/16 06:01 PM
3

Part of it IS a societal pressure, but I'm not sure I'd say it's male pressure. If the world were entirely female, I think the beauty industry would still thrive. For better or worse, especially in the professional world, a certain level of "I made an effort this morning" is required. There is almost definitely a bit of bias between genders here, as a man with some blemishes will still be seen as "professional" while a women not wearing makeup will be seen as "sloppy." It's also a bit more socia…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/16 05:47 PM
0

I don't know a single person who would tell somebody NOT to work out and get healthy, if that's what they wanted. The people I tell to "just be themselves" are generally the people who are trying too hard and/or being disingenuous. I say it to female friends who put on a big show and pretend to looooove sports in order to attract guys. I say it to male friends who feel the need to put on a macho facade or hide the fact that they enjoy D&D or musical theatre or what-have-ya. I say it because nobo…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/16 03:05 PM
2

Most guys are not getting passed over. That majority of men in the US are married. Of those who are single, nearly a third are in committed relationships. So no, most men are not getting passed over. But tbh I don't think what you're saying is true and if you're out and want to have sex you won't just go with the sexiest guy. Well, I was never really into the bar scene or one night stands. Most women aren't. This could explain why men are complaining about getting passed over. You have a majorit…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/16 12:35 PM
1

If any of Mr. Gosling's agents are reading this, I was not making any inference about Ryan's actual intelligence or level of douchebaggery.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/16 02:10 AM
1

Some guys getting passed over doesn't negate that my experience is true. And the girl still has to be physically attracted to you. But a funny smart 6 will be my pick over a moronic douchey 9. Edit: and I wasn't talking about actual Ryan Gosling obviously. I have no idea how smart or douchey he is.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/16 02:05 AM
0

I've given an answer to similar questions, but Red Pillers tend not to believe me. Ryan Gosling who acts like a douche and has nothing intelligent to say will get passed over for a more average-looking guy who is kind, funny, and can discuss politics.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/16 09:35 PM
4

MOst women marry men they aren't nearly as physically attracted to as they were/are to the men they used to fuck. Source? Talking to a guy because of rapid weight gain and your basically telling him you don't want to fuck him because he's changed is only going to make it worse. Talking to a partner about a major change in their behavior that affects their health is a necessary thing that partners do because they care about their future together.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/16 04:20 PM
3

Then I think at that point we're just talking about semantics. No matter how you slice it, her actions or her attitude have resulted in you not having sex with her. She can be arousing all day long. She's not getting sex from it. That's why blue pill espouses having qualities apart from simple physical attractiveness. Because physical attraction alone will not necessarily get you sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/16 04:10 PM
2

What do you mean by physical attractiveness declining? Like a rapid weight gain or something? That would point to a major change in lifestyle/habits. That's the kind of thing that would warrant a discussion between the partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/16 03:53 PM
4

And that's where we come down to a key difference. I can think somebody is hot enough to bang. That doesn't mean I'll do it. You can be hot all day long. If you're a douchebag or a moron, you won't get sex from me. I've said it before, Ryan Gosling with the personality of a pet rock will get skipped over for the charming nerd who can discuss politics.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/16 03:47 PM
2

We go back and forth on this topic a lot, and I think I see where the major disconnect happens. Many women and blue pills are assuming we're talking about relationships (usually LTRs, and a safe assumption in this context where we're talking about chores). Physical attraction gets you sex once. It's absolutely vital, because that's the point from which you begin the relationship. This other stuff we're talking about (humor, kindness, being a good partner-what you call comfort) is what keeps the …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/16 03:36 PM
1

Seriously. Your weekly installment of "what makes somebody attractive" Jeopardy. I'll take "sense of humor vs rock hard abs" for $400, Alex!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/16 03:28 PM
3

-In tip top physical shape Define this. If it means active and fit, yes. If it means all you do is lift and your waist is tiny compared to your pecs & shoulders, no. -Someone who's confident and masculine Sure. -Someone who is an alpha male, doesn't give a fuck what others say or think No. Of course any healthy adult needs a sense of independence, but they also need some sense of self-examination. People who "don't give a fuck what others say or think" are generally self-involved trainwrecks. -H…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/16 06:17 PM
2

Pretty much all the photos you linked are too muscular to be attractive to me. My boyfriend is also 6'2", 200lbs, and he does some lifting. But he doesn't ONLY lift. He balances it with cycling, running, rock climbing, etc. Personally I like guys whose torsos are more "straight up and down" not the tapered waist that comes from jacking out your pecs and biceps. Some girls would say the ideal is Brad Pitt in Fight Club. For me it's Edward Norton in Fight Club.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/16 04:27 PM
2

His muscles make him unattractive to me. Once your traps pop out like that and your pecs could fit in a bra, it looks gross to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/16 04:14 PM
3

I'm sure if we break it down, there is absolutely no truth to the statement. The husband is emotionally supportive, listens to her, does a fair amount of choreplay, engages with her in other ways, yet somehow all of that mysteriously disappears when he attempts to initiate. That's a pretty big assumption. I think it can go both ways. Of course there are some women who withhold sex, and then use this tired phrase to make their husband feel guilty. I'd bet there are just as many women saying it be…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/16 08:11 PM
3

No, I think viewing marriage as a lifelong commitment is a good thing. A lot of wedding traditions are relics of a dark time, but that doesn't mean you can't utilize them in today's current culture and using your own paradigm and values. Basing your level of marital commitment on how well you partner ages is pretty shallow.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/16 02:34 PM
3

I hope that's included in the marriage vows. "In hotness, not in fatness, til balding and wrinkles make me want to leave and find someone younger."
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/16 01:36 PM
1

I don't really care about the youtube videos surrounding ideology. I didn't ask about that. I asked if men and women are equally responsible for pregnancy.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/16 06:54 PM
2

So if a man is using condoms from his stash or has had a vasectomy that reverses itself and they end up pregnant, should he be held more responsible than the woman for pregnancy occurring?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/16 05:55 PM
3

A noncustodial parent can also get money from the government in the form of welfare/food stamps.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/16 02:59 PM
1

I will watch it when I have 20 minutes, but can you just give me a small idea why you think men are not responsible for pregnancy? They do fertilize the egg, after all.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/16 02:45 PM
1

I asked this up thread but no replies to it yet: how much should men compensate women in the case she has an abortion? It's obviously no small thing physically or emotionally, not to mention the actual monetary cost of the procedure and possible lost wages if she misses work. Add it all up and divide by 2. What's a fair number? Under the current laws, men have zero financial obligation when a woman undergoes this procedure, despite being 50% responsible for the pregnancy. In order to make things…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/16 12:50 PM
1

From a strictly legal perspective, the current system exists because not all rights are created equal. Society places some rights as paramount to others. We know abortion exists because of the right to bodily autonomy. It'll b hard to argue against that one legally. But let's leave that for a moment. Let's look at a situation where a child IS being born. Society typically places the rights of children over adults because they are considered innocents, and usually incapable of caring for themselv…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/16 12:42 PM
4

Okay. In order to make it really equal, let's try to work out what kind of compensation the man will pay the woman if she decides to have an abortion. What kind of price tag would you put on the physical and mental toll of undergoing said medical procedure? Remember to account for the actual cost of the procedure and lost wages if she has to miss work. Add it all up and divide by 2. Because with the current laws, a man has zero financial obligation when a woman gets an abortion, even though he i…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/16 11:55 PM
1

Though a woman who's high arousal will also see that there will be other women in high arousal around him That's an assumption, and would be based entirely upon the individual circumstances under which they meet. Also, not all women are aroused by the same things. It's also helpful to talk about it in this way because it's more helpful for men to understand the concepts and for men to understand what's going on with a particular woman and why she is responding to him the way she is. Eh, seems li…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/16 08:25 PM
1

It seems from your comments that you see comfort and arousal as inversely proportional. But there is no reason to assume high comfort can't coexist with high arousal in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/16 07:49 PM
3

Pretty much top of the list.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/16 07:21 PM
1

Those surveys don't make a correlation between fantasizing and relative attractiveness of the ex to current partner. Somebody may fantasize about an ex less attractive than you, or may not fantasize about an ex more attractive. So your statement that women who were with somebody more attractive before will always fantasize about them is not true.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/16 12:24 PM
1

Your questions make no sense in the context of this conversation. Did you even read the comment I was replying to? OP states that if a woman has ever been with somebody more attractive, she will always fantasize about them. I pointed out a plausible situation in which that would not be true.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/16 10:43 PM
2

This is not true. What if the ex was super good-looking, but terrible in bed? Nobody fantasizes about somebody who couldn't give them an orgasm.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/16 09:34 PM
4

I date nerds almost exclusively. Three long-term relationships in my life, all nerds on some level. I find them stimulating, and they are more likely to find my own nerdy tendencies charming rather than weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/16 08:38 PM
2

Even if a thousand men answer this question with a "no" that is hardly proof of your claim that no man in the history of ever has slept with a woman he wan't attracted to. I could probably get a thousand women to say the same thing. But I'm not interested in continuing this conversation for however long it takes you to gather your poll data. I genuinely wish you a good day, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/16 07:58 PM
2

See, to me, attraction is more than the visceral. But okay, we'll go with your context. Attraction MUST exist when a man is fucking a woman; therefore attraction can be assumed in that circumstance. How can you know this? There is no way you can say definitively that no men have slept with women they weren't attracted to. If women can do it, so can men.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/16 07:38 PM
2

way more simplistic than the case actually was That's usually the case. I like this Neil deGrasse Tyson quote: In science, when human behavior enters the equation, things go nonlinear. That's why Physics is easy and Sociology is hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/16 07:24 PM
2

I have never denied that the initial sexual attraction is important. Not once in this whole thread. I've simply said that for long-term relationships, women tend to also seek out long-term attributes such as compatibility. So yes, assuming the first prong exists, but you need second prong to get past one night stand status. So attraction can't be assumed? Didn't you state earlier that a man physically cannot sleep with a woman he doesn't find attractive? How can you assume that attraction exists…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/16 07:19 PM
2

Finding a partner you're sexually compatible with requires finding a partner you're sexually attracted to and who is sexually attracted to you. You don't even get to communication, openness and what you want unless there is FIRST raw, visceral sexually attraction. Um, duh. Sardonis was talking about deducing whether somebody was spouse material in the sex department, and I was making the point that in a relationship you should be able to communicate about sex and not have to use games or shit te…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/16 07:05 PM
2

I very much prefer that my wife settle on the "personality" department instead of the "hotness" factor And that is totally your prerogative. What I'm saying is- choosing somebody who is not model attractive but has an awesome personality and intelligence over the guy who is model attractive but that's about it- that is not settling to me, that's trading up. Please don't think I'm discounting the importance of physical attraction. It is absolutely crucial to any good relationship. I've said it ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/16 07:01 PM
3

Looking for a woman that thinks I'm hot enough to bang even if I'm a bit of an asshole is surely a good sign that she'll prioritize the sex. is it not? Then, after she learns I'm not nearly the asshole she thought I was, she now has a "hawt" guy that is good for commitment: She found her unicorn! Sounds a lot like a shit test. I personally wouldn't put up with the asshole behavior long enough to sleep with you. It's not, "Well, he's kind of an asshole. But he's hot so I'll sleep with him anyway.…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/16 06:42 PM
3

Interesting theory, but I disagree. Traits that make you want to sleep with somebody are turn-ons. Comfort is something else, in my opinion, and usually comes after you've spent some time in the relationship. This is all coming from the experience of somebody who never did one night stands or the bar scene. If you're in a bar looking to hook up, you're likely going to encounter women who are also only looking to hook up, and therefore are only concerned with short-term (looks important, other de…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/16 06:24 PM
2

Good conversation, affection, and laughter are basically foreplay. A normal-looking guy who is smart and quippy will absolutely hands down be who I pick to sleep with over a muscle-bound Chad who acts like an asshole and has no sense of humor or anything intelligent to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/16 05:38 PM
3

But PemBay's claim is based solely on the man's level of attractiveness, not the level of commitment. He says the man is simply not hot enough, therefore has not earned and will not get sex. I understand why the 'marriage kills sex' trope exists. I think it's a stereotype with a little truth to it that gets played up for comedy, especially on television shows. Most studies done on sex show that cohabitating couples have the most sex, followed by married couples. Single folks actually come in las…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/16 05:19 PM
2

I guess I can understand that. But at the same time, those "beta qualities" are the only things that will last (if your goal for the relationship is longevity). Everybody's looks will fade eventually, and nobody has ever said, "I want to grow old with somebody who has six-pack abs" Things like kindness, humor, & intelligence are actual turn-ons for me, and for a lot of women. They actually make me want to sleep with somebody, and more than that, to continue a relationship with them. So a muscle-…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/16 04:50 PM
1

Hey, I'll agree with you on that front. I don't think anybody (man or woman) should marry somebody they feel lukewarm about.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/16 04:15 PM
0

Why are the men in these stories marrying women who won't have sex with them?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/16 04:10 PM
5

In my experience, yes. It's just that he has other good qualities in addition to turning her on, which the "bad boys" did not. I've never really been into one-night-stands, but I did have a couple more casual relationships (we both knew there probably wasn't a future) where sex was involved. They did not turn me on more than my SO. In fact, quite the opposite. My SO turns me on more, AND has a ton of other qualities that I love. That's what makes me want to be with him long-term.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/16 03:13 PM
1

Okay. Can't see why any of that would cause somebody to react negatively unless they are, in fact, just an asshole. Of course people have different levels of what they consider acceptable in regards to being hit on. I got into a debate with a guy once about guys giving random compliments to women on the street. He said that walking up to a stranger and telling her she smells good is just a friendly compliment. I told him a stranger commenting on how I smelled would make me uncomfortable. He repl…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/16 06:43 PM
2

He's infinitely more sexually successful than your BF. That would depend entirely on how you define success. Somebody who is interested only in occasional sex with a variety of women would definitely call that success. Somebody interested in more frequent sex with a long-term partner would say my BF is successful. According to most studies on sex, cohabitating couples have the most. You don't say. If he were joe average, he'd be invisible. You like your BF IN SPITE of him being a 'nice guy'. Fal…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/16 06:39 PM
1

And I've heard stories of (and unfortunately experienced firsthand) guys threatening harm/rape/to burn down my apartment. If anyone can make it through the dating scene without encountering some assholes, I'll throw them a parade. But I avoid ascribing the bad behavior of a few to the male population as a whole. Just as a genuine question, because this is a phrase that I see here a lot. What do you mean by "expressing desire?" What behavior does it describe specifically, and in what context is i…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/16 06:18 PM
0

This is interesting, and I will read the rest of the article. Thanks for the link. I think most pf us can identify with how shitty it feels to see good things happen to terrible people while bad things happen to good people (or to ourselves). It sucks horribly, and is an unfortunate reality of the world we live in. I have never, and never seen another woman, tell a guy he's terrible or entitled for simply expressing his desire for companionship. It's normal, even expected, that we don't want to …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/16 03:28 PM
1

No, it's absolutely not a detriment. It's a quality that, along with others, can actually make somebody more attractive. Of course I find my boyfriend physically attractive. His kindness, sense of humor, and intelligence are what make me want to be with him long-term. The initial animalistic attraction is good, and necessary, but nobody has ever said "I want to grow old with somebody who has six-pack abs." If you want something sustainable, then you tend to find attractive the qualities that don…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/16 12:58 PM
-1

what's actually important is being kind, considerate, funny, affable This stuff IS important. So is physical attraction. Most people will look for a combination of both. she turns you down for a guy who looks like Ben Affleck and occasionally hits her. This is an extreme paradigm that, I'm sorry, I just don't see playing out in real life very often. If you do see it playing out so often that you consider it the norm, you need to arrange a group visit with your female friends to a domestic violen…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/16 08:26 PM
-1

If you put an ad in the paper stressing that you're looking for an honest, reliable employee, and I spend an hour at interview giving examples of how honest and reliable I am before being told at the end that what you actually wanted was someone who can code C++ and has a post-grad history degree, and that being honest and reliable is just kinda desirable but not really important at all in the grand scheme of things, I'd absolutely tell you that you've wasted my time and that your hiring manager…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/16 07:51 PM
8

To take this analogy even further, and to highlight why some women get frustrated with the insistence that being a "nice guy" is all that is required... The interviewer says, "Yes, you do seem like an honest person, but you don't meet any of the other qualifications for this position. So we are going to seek other candidates." The applicant becomes indignant, stating again, "But, I never stole from any previous employers! You said you were looking for honest employees and I am honest. You should…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/16 05:51 PM
6

I've heard it put this way. Saying to a woman, "I'm a nice guy!" is like going into a job interview and saying, "I didn't steal from my last employer!" It's such a basic requirement that the fact you feel the need to mention it...seems a little suspicious.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/16 02:44 PM
1

Thinking to oneself: "I bring out the trash and expect you in return to cook me something" "I am a good husband, you keep loving me" "I am faithful, you stay faithful" Instead of: "Hey, how about you cook us something nice and I bring out the trash" "..." I believe open communication (even over-communication) is usually best. If you want something in your relationship that you aren't getting, you should say it. Whether that's exclusivity, a nice dinner, or affection. However that can be taken to…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/16 07:59 PM
3

Mostly because he broke his promise (marriage vows). This is assuming vows included "forsaking all others, til death do us part" or some similar language. I'd feel the same if a wife left her husband for some hot young tail while he was suffering.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/16 07:38 PM
1

True Could be true, depends on the individual, and is not specific to women Could be true, depending on what your values are. If you value occasional sex with young hot women more than a stable long-term relationship, sure. Not true for me or most women I know. It's actually quite a turn-off. Some women might find it attractive, but likely only the ones who are slightly vapid or have a childlike mentality to begin with. True to an extent, but those can be mitigated. For example, the instinct to …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/16 07:29 PM
1

Oh I completely agree. In my mind, "don't be dependent on your partner" isn't the same as "don't depend/rely on your partner." The former (being dependent) implies a sense of not being capable of taking care of oneself, where the latter says, "you can trust and lean on each other, but you need to be able to step up when/if it becomes necessary." I especially like your use of the word teammate, because that's my ideal relationship dynamic. Two people, each playing to their strengths, working toge…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/16 09:25 PM
1

My parents divorced when I was young. They drilled this value into me not because they thought I should be alone, but because they wanted me to be able to provide for myself. The whole point being that life is uncertain. Your husband could leave you, he could die, or be involved in an accident and require expensive care. It wasn't "you don't need a man." It was "you shouldn't need to be dependent on a man."
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/16 08:02 PM
5

I'd just make damn sure she is happy with the arrangement. Some women might be fine with only PIV. Many like variety. If she's giving you variety (oral and PIV), maybe she'd like some variety in return. They are two different kinds of orgasm, and I personally would not want to give up either one.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 07:01 PM
1

Yes. I've danced most of my life and work in the dance field. Most of my coworkers are also dancers. Parties and events involving dancing are part and parcel of my job. Cypher circles happen on the regular. That said, my SO is like you. He will join me on the dance floor and do his best, but he's not a dancer. He doesn't need to be a good dancer to be sexy or charming.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/16 12:48 PM
2

I suppose if you want to refer to mens rea as "levels of intent" you could argue that. However generally intent refers to the first level of mens rea, meaning a purposeful act intended to achieve a specific outcome. Whereas recklessness is a lower form of mens rea where the intent to cause injury/death was not present, but the person acted in a dangerous manner and should have known their actions would cause injury/death.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 11:53 PM
2

According to the Model Penal Code, recklessness is one of the 4 types of mens rea. Purpose (or intent) is another form. Knowledge and negligence are the other two.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 11:22 PM
6

When there is no intent to murder, then isn't it called manslaughter? Not necessarily. A person can be charged with murder if they demonstrate what some courts call "extreme indifference to human life" that results in death, even if they never intended to cause anyone's death.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 09:53 PM
5

It seems every system around me is full of idiots. The healthcare industry, the psych industry, the public schools, and the list goes on.... You know what they say. If you meet an asshole in the morning, you met an asshole. If you meet assholes all day, you're the asshole.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/16 09:36 PM
1

So then would it be fair to say, "treat all men you are in a relationship with as if they will beat, rape, or kill you?"
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 08:19 PM
2

So does it work on the other side of the coin? Do you also believe AMALT?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/16 02:57 PM
1

I was the opposite of popular. I was the class whipping boy (girl). I was ruthlessly bullied for most of my childhood on up through middle school. I was socially awkward, didn't dress well, had no idea about makeup or how to make my tangled hair look decent. High school was better. I was by no means popular, but I found my niche in theatre & choir. I went through a punk phase, so while I did not wear the "cool" clothes, I developed some sense of personal style. Eventually by my junior year my fr…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/16 03:08 PM
3

I don't think you can objectively say that it has the most success in keeping both parties happy. Even if you could quantify it and say that 65% of couples find happiness in the Captain/First Mate model, happiness and relationship dynamics are really still highly individual, so you can't extrapolate that to the population at large. Maybe 80% of people think cheese is amazing, some people will still hate it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/16 10:57 PM
5

Why is 'going dancing' in scare quotes?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/16 07:38 PM
22

Maybe all of my relationships have just taken a very strange path, but I don't get the BFD that is made around "the approach." I see it all the time: how to approach women, why don't women ever approach men? No real relationship I've ever been in has started by being approached in a bar. Every serious relationship I've been in has started by meeting through mutual friends, or knowing each other peripherally through a shared interest. Step 1: See each other around, become acquainted. Step 2: Exch…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/16 03:28 PM
17

It doesn't offend me, it's just not FOR me. I know women who desire the Captain/FM dynamic. They would rather leave big decisions to their husband, and are content to follow his lead. In exchange, they don't generally have to worry about anything outside of kids/social calendar. I'm not offended that they want to live their life that way. And the men I know in these types of relationships are not generally big alpha misogynists (I mean, maybe a couple). They are typically religious, caring men w…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/16 08:17 PM
1

if you're female, presentable and have bare minimum social skills you are guaranteed success You even acknowledge in your OP that "success" is usually defined differently for men and women. I think you make very good points. You can't equate male interest to "success" because that's not what most women consider success. I consider success to be longevity with one person I feel very connected with, not short-term interest from many people. So while nitpicky, you are saying it's easy for women to …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/16 05:18 PM
1

You've changed. I am arguing that even though things about you might change (and get better), you are still the same person. Getting in shape and maturing emotionally doesn't mean that your values, interests, quirks, fears, or memories go away. I can get in shape, get a higher paying job, and emotionally mature (and I have done all those things). But I will still be afraid to handle knives, believe in a God, enjoy true crime stories, love my chosen career field, and be terribly forgetful. And be…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/16 09:32 PM
0

Then why did you call it self improvement, if improving means you are no longer yourself?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/16 08:36 PM
0

If said larger strategy involves self-improvement, "just be yourself" is contradictory. No it is not. Being yourself means not lying about who you are. Improving does not mean you are no longer yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/16 08:20 PM
1

ice is simply a more concise way to communicate the concept of frozen water so that is the term we tend to use But that's colloquial usage, which you said was not relevant. If you can substitute the generally accepted "ice" meaning "frozen water" why can I not substitute the generally accepted "water" meaning "liquid water?"
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/16 08:01 PM
0

Which by itself tells you nothing about how to attract women. I've already said it's not meant to be "by itself." It's a small piece of advice which is part of larger strategy. First, there's much more to it. Jesus tap dancing Christ, how many more times do I need to say it's not meant to be the only single piece of advice in regards to dating? shitty advice any way you slice it. I personally think it's good advice, because my end goal in a good relationship is longevity. So being an insincere l…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/16 07:52 PM
1

colloquial usage is irrelevant So you do ask for "frozen water" when you want ice? I find this fascinating. Do you have a water vapour room where we could meet and chat about this? We can share a nice pitcher of frozen watered tea and discuss the finer points of language.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/16 07:43 PM
1

If I'm being honest, I never thought it would take this many words to explain to somebody that the phrase "be yourself" simply means "be sincere and don't lie." Yet here we are.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/16 07:29 PM
1

Again, water is the generally accepted term for the LIQUID form of H2O. If you want ice in your drink, do you ask the waitress, "could I have some water in my drink?" If you inhale steam, do you say that you are drinking water? Why don't they call a steam room a water room? Why didn't the artist Vanilla Water sing "Water Water Baby"? Do you want to debate the topic, or nitpick semantics? Don't get me wrong, I enjoy doing both.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/16 07:11 PM
1

Also, if you would like me to expound upon those three words, "just be yourself" boils down to being sincere, and not fake. If you're a girl who couldn't care less about sports, don't pretend you love them to try to impress guys. If you're a guy who finds musical theatre entertaining, don't pretend to hate it because you think it's more "macho." This is the crux of what I'm talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/16 07:03 PM
1

You'll note from my other comments that I never claimed it was stand-alone advice. I'm not sure why you think I'm claiming that. It's not like, "Okay, be yourself! That's all, I'm not taking questions. Tip your bartender!" I am only taking issue with other people's claims that being genuine and improving oneself are mutually exclusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/16 06:53 PM
2

Water is the generally accepted term for the liquid form of the chemical compound H2O. Steam is quite the opposite of dry, and the only "ice" that is dry is CO2, not H2O.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/16 06:49 PM
0

"Water is wet" is also three words. Is that statement also vague?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/16 06:30 PM
-2

Sure, if my ONLY goal in life was to get sex, that would be true. I could have not developed any personality or intelligence. But I actually enjoy working, learning, and having friends as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/16 05:01 PM
2

"JBY" is not stand-alone advice. I never said it was some magic ticket straight to Sex Town. I simply clarified what it means. And again, it does not exclude self-improvement. Needing some guidance to emotionally mature does not mean that who a person IS, at their core, has to change. Their values, interests, and even their quirks are still vital to their identity. I used to be the female version of these guys you're talking about. Completely awkward, very few friends, no sense of personal style…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/16 04:02 PM
0

You're arguing semantics, and not convincingly. You don't become a completely different person because you matured or became more self-aware. "Be yourself" is simple (and good) advice. It simply means, "be genuine, not fake."
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/16 03:03 PM
2

I never called anybody "lame." That was you. I also don't have contempt for anybody. You are complaining about use of a basic phrase to which you have assigned some odd limitations. Thinking that "being yourself" somehow excludes gaining self-awareness, trying new things, or getting in shape IS fairly outside the norm. And clarifying that does not mean I lack empathy.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/16 01:46 PM
2

Most people don't need it translated. It's really not vague in any way. Sorry you thought that it means "you can never hit the gym or develop any hobbies/interests" but most folks can deduce that it means "be genuine."
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/16 12:48 PM
4

Being yourself doesn't mean not improving. Self-improvement is meant to make you a better version of yourself. What most people mean when they say "be yourself" is "don't actively deceive, or pretend to be someone you aren't."
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/16 12:32 PM
2

Apologies, I didn't realize there was a distinction. Considering that people in LTRs have more sex (specifically, cohabitating couples top the ranks), it seems that young men are more interested in variety than frequency. And I'm not knocking that. Just saying that it speaks to why they may not be interested in cultivating factors that lead to longevity.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/16 09:50 PM
1

I think most RPers aren't interested in longevity. You don't need trust or conflict resolution skills to spin plates. But I agree with you completely. TRP puts men on the defensive from the outset ("treat every gun as if it's loaded"), mistrust creates conflict, the relationship ends, and it makes the original mistrust seem justified. Self-fulfilling prophecy.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/16 03:30 PM
3

34/36 30 yo female, native English speaker.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/15 11:03 PM
5

I can definitely have empathy for his situation and at the same time think it's not an excuse for the way he acts.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/15 11:03 PM
7

You may not do it yourself, but Fletcher was just a day or two ago going back and forth with a guy telling him that he'd basically imagined every happy aspect of his marriage. He told him repeatedly that his wife has never loved, cared for, or supported him.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/15 10:51 PM
1

Maybe I'm misunderstanding then. How is "riding the cock carousel" different from "engaging in casual sex?"
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/15 09:10 PM
1

Lots of rpers are not on the carousel. Indeed, about 80% are not. So you're saying that 80% of RPers only engage in sex within a committed relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/15 08:45 PM
7

Don't lots of Red Pillers do this? They are on the carousel to hook up with girls, but then want a non-rider if they choose to commit. Is that not lane-changing?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/15 05:00 PM
3

When did I say that? I was pointing out that criminal procedure and investigation isn't as quick and simple as GayLubeOil seems to think it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/15 07:28 PM
0

I'm not here to advocate anything. Just pointing out that criminal procedure isn't as simple as you think it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/15 07:27 PM
11

Apparently this guy thinks we live in an episode of Law & Order: SVU. Ice-T: "I got the suspect's DNA off this soda can! Since this is a TV show the judge and the suspect's lawyer will never get this evidence thrown out!" Benson: "Good, the lab will have that test processed in 10 minutes. Since this is a TV show, there's not a backlog of 500 other kits to be tested dating back 11 months." Medical Examiner: "It was a perfect match since this is a TV show and nothing is ever inconclusive!"
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/15 02:18 PM
2

I agree. They are key factors, but not the only factors. Like you say, they're the minimum requirements before you start getting into compatibility, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/15 12:21 AM
1

I agree that settling is a bad thing. The aspects of TRP that promote confidence-building and self-improvement are good ones, I think. It's the defensive position that it promotes that I find is not useful for healthy relationships to develop.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/15 07:14 PM
5

This is interesting to hear. Most of what I've read from RPers advocates using mind games ("neg" her, lower her self-esteem, make her feel stupid), threats, or passive aggressive tactics ("train" her) rather than clear, honest communication. What tactics of RP specifically have improved your relationship and how?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/15 07:11 PM
2

What tactics of TRP did you employ in your LTR that you feel made it more successful than the ones of your BluePill days? In your current FWB situations, how do you approach the topic of defining the nature of that relationship? Do you mention it up front? Before you sleep together? Do you simply avoid any "commitment talk?" LTR's just seem more and more like a huge investment with no guaranteed return. I think anybody, regardless of gender or pill preference, will tell you that there are no gua…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/15 07:05 PM
8

So you feel that TRP has helped you raise your standards, in a way? Do you think TRP is a factor in why you no longer see appeal in LTRs? I'll admit my own bias, which is that TRP lacks an emphasis on honest communication and conflict resolution (key factors for a successful LTR). Much of what I've read on TRP, RoK, and the like seems to put men on the defensive against women from the start. Starting from a place of mistrust becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Mistrust breeds conflict, which cau…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/15 04:41 PM
3

Interesting. How has TRP helped you in LTRs for example? What's the longest relationship you've had while employing TRP? I'll admit, I see TRP as something that would work wonderfully for casual hookups where longevity is not a factor, but long-term its views on conflict resolution don't jive for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/15 04:34 PM
7

What does "success" mean in this context? Success could mean different things to different people. Some see a long-term relationship with a deep commitment as "success." Some people see higher frequency of dates/sex as "success."
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/15 03:59 PM
1

You are the one with the premise. Your premise is that "women always win in family court, and I have no rights." I have presented facts that directly contradict that statement, "when men actually seek custody in family court, they usually get it." You then shift the goalposts, and say that men don't seek custody because they fear backlash from friends/family. But that does nothing to refute the facts I presented, nor does it do anything to prop up your original premise. It only states a differen…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/15 07:03 PM
0

I read your comment. You didn't "dispute" anything with facts. You offered an anecdote about your own experience as a child. I'd be shocked in 4% of cases in general saw a judge. From divorcepeers.com statistics: 4% went to trial (of the 4% that initiated litigation, only 1.5% actually completed it) Just think about plea bargains as an analogy; no one would agree to do a year in jail if they weren't thinking about what a judge would say, right? It's a bad analogy, because family courts are not a…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/15 05:10 PM
1

I am not following. I linked to a study showing that men get custody just as much as women do when they ask for it. How, then, can you still claim that the courts favor women? I am also a child of divorced parents, and I know being on the inside of a custody fight is not pretty. But your own experience does not contradict the data. Also, less than 4% of custody cases are even decided by a judge. Most of them are hashed out between the parents, with their lawyers or (in a small percent of cases) …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/15 04:46 PM
0

I disputed that it refutes that claim. On what data or facts are you basing that?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/15 04:32 PM
2

you wind up in a court that isn't gonna be favoring you I already provided a source that refutes that claim. With numbers like 8%, you really gotta ask what's special about those cases. My guess is that they correlate strongly with especially unfit mothers. Interesting that you bring that up, because it is also noted in the study that women are held to much stricter standards when determining fitness for parenting than men are.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/15 04:20 PM
3

I provided a source for my claims. Would you care to provide some for yours?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/15 04:10 PM
4

because mothers win in family court and I have no rights. Are you aware that the default is joint custody? Men actually seek custody far less often than women do. In fact, a study done in Massachusetts actually found that in 2100 cases where fathers sought custody (over a 5 yr period), men received joint or primary custody in 94% of cases. A second study, of 700 cases over 6 years, found that even though only 8.14% sought custody, over 60% were awarded joint custody. Source & quote from the New …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/15 03:39 PM
2

Links to data you've collected? Self-reported data is generally considered very unreliable for a claim such as yours. Did you use a control group? That's pretty much required for proving a hypothesis.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/15 11:15 PM
2

[citation clearly needed]
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/15 10:07 PM
2

RP focusses on the Alpha with the presumption that beta is already present. Apologies, I thought I was replying to somebody else. Most of the reading I've done on TRP, RoK, and the like violently dismisses anything "beta-ish." They advocate outright dishonesty (passive aggressive acts to "train" women), and disrespect ("negging", assumption that all women are not intelligent/vapid).
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/15 12:50 AM
0

That's why I started by saying that I felt TRP was "lacking" things like respect, honesty, and open communication. I never said those items ALONE will result in a successful relationship. Those are what I'd consider the minimum for basic human relationships (romantic and non-romantic). They are what keep relationships going long-term. Other desirable traits such as interests/hobbies and a sense of humor are what determine deeper compatibility between people.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/15 12:44 AM
3

Okay, we can work with this. At least one relationship, or multiple relationships, of varying duration and intensity Is longevity a factor? Not considering the future does, in some ways, negate the need for open communication. If you're not concerned with keeping a person in your life long-term, and are also not concerned with their feeling about you when the relationship is over, you need not be concerned with developing your communication or resolving conflicts. enjoyable The lack of respect a…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/15 09:00 PM
2

I suppose before going any further, I need to know what you'd like this strategy to accomplish. Success can be defined in many ways. So start by telling me what (to you) defines a successful relationship, then let's work backwards from there.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/15 08:46 PM
4

It sounds like you're diverting from your earlier statement where you said you weren't looking for guarantees. You keep saying "it didn't work." Nothing is guaranteed to work. There's no magic "good relationship guide" where if you follow all the steps you'll find eternal happiness. I hear you. You know people who were good people, yet still experienced shitty relationships. Bad things happen to good people every day. Relationships are complicated because they involve two people. They involve be…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/15 08:36 PM
5

In my opinion... Respect- Treating a person the way you would like to be treated by them. Showing concern for their well-being. Honesty- Telling the truth, not acting deceptively or with ulterior motives. Open Communication- Talking to your partner about your concerns, hopes, fears. Being able to effectively present an issue and being willing to listen, and come to a reasonable compromise. Not relying on passive aggression, "hints", or simply hoping your partner is a mind reader.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/15 08:09 PM
6

In my opinion, there is no alternative to these tactics. The only alternatives would be disrespect, lies, and lack of communication. These rarely work. You said earlier that you are not looking for guarantees. Saying that "some people did these things and bad things still happened to them" is not proof that the tactics were bad. It is proof that they had a bad relationship (and possibly that their partner was an asshole). Saying that "I was respectful and honest and still had a terrible relation…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/15 08:05 PM
6

The major thing that TRP is lacking (in my opinion) is respect, honesty, and open communication. Three things that are pretty much essential in any relationship, romantic or otherwise. Most of the TRP writings I've seen don't approach the topic of dating with the idea that women are deserving of respect. They BEGIN from the assumption that a woman will be manipulative, that women are not intelligent or are infantile, and that women care only about money. Unless you begin a relationship from a po…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/15 07:54 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter