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View 1 post and 69 comments by giraffe-zackeffron on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

giraffe-zackeffron/r/Divorce_Men20/09/21 09:48 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
10

Got married in 2004. The ink was barely dry on the marriage license when she had an affair. Divorced in 2006. Started dating wife number two in mid 2007. Late 2008, we moved in together and married in 2010. We finally divorced in 2025. That was the ultimate frog boiling in water situation. I was so busy working that I didn’t realize she was slowly, over time, shifting all responsibility to me. She languished at a dead end job making shit money while I worked hard and got several promotions. She …
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/26 01:46 PM
1

Just lift up your skirt and grab your balls and do it. It sucks but you gotta do it. Once it’s done, it’s done. Then you can get on with living your life. My only regret is that I waited so long to do it because I was afraid to lift skirt and grab balls.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 02:11 PM
4

Turned out the tumors were benign. I have to get tested every year as the doctor said they could become malignant, but so far, so good. I think I’ve been fighting it off just to stay alive and spite that bitch. I think me dying is exactly what she wanted. Now that we’re finally divorced I’ve been wondering if I really will get sick now, lol. Either way, at least she won’t get anything from me now.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 01:33 AM
4

For me, it was the day my doctor told me it was almost certain I had cancer. I was terrified. I was sad, angry, depressed, scared…the whole gamut. Like you said op, you could clearly see on my face that my world had crashed down around me that day. I came home and really needed some comfort. Some compassion. Some fucking humanity from the one person who was supposed to be there. She sat there on the sofa, slack jawed and vacant while she stared at her iPad. The brief look from your wife that qui…
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 01:16 AM
9

I’ve done ok with the apps. Dated a bit. Last girl was a series of very bright red flags. She didn’t show me that side of her for a while. So I thought it was going well. She was nice, very attractive, intimacy was great…seemed like things were going well. Then she removed the mask on our last date…total chaos from this chick. So I decided that night that maybe I need to be single for a while and just work on me.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 02:00 AM
6

It’s pretty common unfortunately. Though we didn’t have kids, my first wife accused me of all manner of fuckery. Said I was abusive, controlling, a drug addict (my job at the time had random drug testing) an alcoholic, etc. Said I would steal her car keys so she couldn’t leave the house, lock her in the closet…just all kinds of shit. Some people chose to believe her, others didn’t. But it’s standard for a lot of women to pull this shit so they can be the victim. A buddy of mine got dragged over …
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 06:20 PM
1

A friend of mine was in a very similar situation. He worked, his wife didn’t. They had a kid. His grandfather died and he inherited money. I’m not sure how much hut emphasized it was a lot. They divorced and my friend managed to get full custody of the kid. As his parents had purchased the house for them, she had no claim, to the house. I’m not sure if he had to give her any cash but he walked away with the house that was fully paid for (since his parents bought it) and full custody of their kid…
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 02:05 PM
1

Even though his inheritance is his personal property, the court can still consider it when determining child support. Also he mentioned his wife doesn’t work. She has no income, he has $6 million, and they have a kid. The most likely scenario is he pays alimony and child support. The judge will most likely see that he inherited $6 million, and he has an income from working while the wife didn’t inherit anything and she has no income. Pretty much any judge is giving her alimony. If somehow he get…
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 01:08 PM
6

As someone who’s a veteran in divorce court, I think you’ll be fine overall. You mentioned that you’ve only been married for three years. So even if you end up paying alimony, you won’t pay long. It’s usually for half the length of the marriage. Sometimes if it’s a long term marriage, you can be on the hook for life. But three years is nothing. If she asks for alimony, you can offer her a settlement (one time payment.) She doesn’t have to accept but you can make the offer. If you put the inherit…
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 11:06 PM
12

I’ve been married twice. Also lived with a woman I intended to marry but the crazy was revealed before we made it to the alter. Woman I lived with; she turned out to be an absolute psycho. Some serious emotional issues and lack of self control. She was so cool in the beginning. When we were dating, it was like hanging out with one of my friends. But after living together for a while, the crazy started to show. Wife number one: total fumble on my part. She was easily the most beautiful woman I ha…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 12:19 PM
1

I did my first solo thanksgiving and Christmas last year. A little tough but I got through it. I suspect it will be the same this year. I just summon the old saying, it is what it is.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/25 11:54 AM
1

I’ve been through it a couple times now. It’s not fun. It’s expensive. It’s draining. It’s emotional. It just sucks. But the other side of it is good. Of course there are moments where it’s hard. But as time moves on, so will you. Don’t sit in your new place (assuming you’re moving) and sulk. Go out. Do stuff. Make small talk with people. I live alone now in a very rural area. But when I do go out, I make myself have small talk with people. Usually service people as talking to me is part of thei…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 07:08 PM
12

My first one did. A few years after we divorced, she sent an email apologizing for the shit she did. I read it, deleted it, and never thought about her again.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 02:03 PM
5

If you want to read a similar story, look up what happened to the actor, Dave Foley. The tl;dr of it is the same. He had a hit tv show (news radio) and was making tons of cash. The court ruled that he had to pay an exorbitant amount based on his income from that show. That amount was set in stone regardless of his income. Court said because he was earning that much at the time, he had the capacity to earn that much and therefore would always pay that amount. His lawyer argued that eventually the…
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 12:23 AM
3

Number one, you belong to the wood chipper.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 11:02 PM
6

As a guy who went through a divorce due to her infidelity, you can cite infidelity and leave it at that if you wish. I don’t know about every state but I have. Few divorces under my belt. Only one due to infidelity but in the states I’ve divorced in, infidelity didn’t mean anything other than the divorce being finalized faster.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 03:25 PM
4

Last Christmas was my first completely alone. It’s rough man. Go ahead and out the bottle down for the night if you can. There are no answers at the bottom of it. But I would be a hypocrite of I pushed you to that because god knows I’ve searched many bottles for answers. If you’re gonna keep drinking, drink lots of water too. Stay hydrated. Go to bed early, wake up tomorrow and be determined to put yourself back together. It’s hard. I’ve had to do it a few times now. But you will live again man.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 12:46 AM
7

Yeah I’m the diets actual divorce, I should have done better with my attorney. That was purely my fault. I hired a spineless bag of milk while she hired a goddamn great white shark. I didn’t realize it until we were in court. Sure I could have fired him but I didn’t. Again…my fault. But I foolishly thought fair was fair. This time around, I’ve hired the sharks. Still though, I earn far more than my ex. So regardless, I’ll still have to pay.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 04:32 PM
22

Wife number one: technically we weren’t married. Though we lived together and called each other husband and wife. I sometimes refer to that as a marriage and sometimes don’t. I should be consistent. Anyway, not legally married so no judge. But she was a fucking psycho and absolutely tried to destroy my reputation. Actual first wife: was getting stuck on the regular by a married coworker-all while telling everyone how much she loved Jesus and horses and America too. Fucking whore…anyway, not only…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 01:54 PM
5

Did my first solo Xmas last year. I won’t lie-it was rough. But I got through it. You will as well. Headed to see some family this year so I won’t be alone but I’ll still be “alone.” It just is what it is.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 07:55 PM
12

My first wife was supposedly a “god fearing woman.” Church, pray before meals, always wore a cross around her neck, etc. She turned out to be the biggest pos I’ve ever known. Turns out she was getting stabbed on the regular by her married co-worker. Another woman I was in a long term relationship with; also a “god fearing woman.” She was extremely devout as in “I won’t marry you until you convert to my religion” (LDS.) When I was deployed to Iraq, she got knocked up by another dude. The lesson h…
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 06:39 PM
1

When my first wife and I divorced, I was in the same boat. But eventually I just deleted everything. That helps tremendously. I’ve found that seeing pictures of the second ex wife doesn’t bother me. Not sure why but I’m good with seeing pics of her.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 05:27 PM
3

The most sure fire way to be guaranteed you never lose any of your shit (not just half) is extremely simple. Don’t get married.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 01:21 AM
61

Young men! Read this man’s words and heed his tale. This is oftentimes what your life becomes when you say I do. As a veteran of two failed marriages, I’ve been in the trenches with the best of ‘em. That lovely, beautiful woman who you fell so hard for, who you trusted with your innermost secrets, who you cared for, loved, did everything for…she will not hesitate to gut you like a pig (metaphorically speaking of course.) She will lie to your friends, she will lie to the court, she will lie to yo…
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/23 05:15 PM
1

100% she will get the house. But as he said fuck the house. Assuming op is telling the whole story, he is a walking talking example of why men have nothing to gain by saying I do.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 11:27 PM
3

Mostly indifferent about my ex. I hated her for a good long time. She started banging some other dude and that was very hurtful. That’s why I told her to pack her shit and go. That’s why we ended. I know though that her decision to cheat was because she wanted out and was not prepared to be the adult and tell me she didn’t love me anymore. Had she done that, it would have hurt of course but I would have respected it. She just forced me to end it because she couldn’t deal with reality. For that, …
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/22 03:01 PM
1

Yep…the attorney I spoke with said the same thing.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/22 10:46 AM
1

I’m kinda I’m the same boat. My wife doesn’t have any money though and I earn about double her salary. My wife has stated many times that she has no intention of retiring. She wants to work for the rest of her life. I absolutely want to retire as soon as I can. I’ve allowed her to paint us into a financial corner so that almost all of our income is spent on bills every month. Now she’s demanding I pay more. The amount she wants me to put into our shared account every month is more than I even ta…
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/22 10:09 PM
9

Sorry dude…you’re going to get screwed. Fairness doesn’t factor into this at all. You will continue to pay for the house but you will no longer live in it. She will most likely get the kids because the courts believe women are the better stewards of children. As she hasn’t worked, you will almost definitely pay alimony and of course you’ll pay child support. It sucks. The divorce courts are heavily slanted toward women. Get the best attorney you can afford. Also after it’s all over with, if you …
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/22 09:59 AM
2

Yeah…that’s a good point. I’m worried this time. We own multiple properties and though my wife does well, my salary is far more than hers. I’m really worried that I’m gonna get destroyed this time around. But even if I don’t; I’m so sick of being married…I guarantee I’ll never do it again. I’m fantasizing about being single, having a place that is decorated according to my tastes, no one complaining when I turn the thermostat down to make it a little cooler in the house, no one to complain that …
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/22 04:19 PM
6

Jesus Christ…reading through this is so depressing. When I went through divorce court, I was lucky in that my wife and I earned about the same salary so I didn’t have to pay her any alimony. Also no kids so that was awesome. The judge did however, give her almost everything that we owned. For some reason, I was given all of the debt (cc mostly.) I struggled financially for about a year or so but then moved to a new state to start over and got a much better job. Lived on rice and beans for about …
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/22 04:35 PM
0

Another con is RVs are built by people who aren’t laud enough to really care about them. So things break often. Even with a warranty, getting one to a repair shop to be fixed could potentially mean being without your home for days or even weeks. So it’s beneficial to know how to fix things yourself. I’m about to be a single guy again and have a pretty good sized nest egg. After the divorce I was thinking of quitting my job and spending some time living on the road, maybe an RV, maybe a van, mayb…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/22 01:26 AM
2

Thanks man…me too. I’m somewhat optimistic but that truth is, you just never know how divorce is going to go down until you’ve gone through it and it’s over.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/22 02:57 PM
4

Your lips to gods ears buddy,
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/22 01:40 AM
6

And as men, we learn sooner or later that’s it’s just easier to give her her way.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/22 01:34 AM
5

I filed for divorce first in my first marriage. Still got sodomized in divorce court. Gearing up for divorce numero dos now. It really fucking sucks to go through it once. But twice… But hey, I prefer learning shit the hard way.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/22 11:43 PM
21

I had a conversation recently with a friend. I told him that I honestly saw myself being celibate from now on. My marriage is over but we haven’t legally separated yet. We have some issues to get through before we proceed with it. But we’ve been roommates for years and I don’t believe in infidelity so I’ve not had sex in about three years. I miss the physical aspect of sex but I said to my friend think of the best sex you’ve ever had in your life. Probably at least a few girls pop into your head…
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/22 11:40 PM
3

She may or may not be cheating, but if what you’ve written is accurate, she’s definitely not into you anymore. My ex cheated. My gut feeling told me she was cheating so I started paying attention. I snooped a lot too. Went through her car one night after she went to bed; found obvious signs of cheating. Confronted her, she had a bullshit story at the ready. Went through her phone, found texts from her coworker about how he liked to fuck her. She had a bullshit excuse. Finally I found a handwritt…
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/22 08:48 AM
3

Well I’m about to endure divorce number two. So from my perspective, I would have to be a complete imbecile to get married again. Having said that, I have a very close friend who’s been married for 22 years. He and his wife are crazy about each other and they’re both blissfully happy. Being around them is like being around a teenage couple. They literally can’t keep their hands off of each other. Just constant hand holding, arms around each other, etc. If I could find that with a woman, I could …
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/22 03:43 PM
5

Best way to get over someone is to get under someone. When my marriage ended, I hit the market hard (no pun intended.) Within literally like a month of divorce, I was dating 3-4 different women. The first girl I started seeing was 21 and still in college. I was 32. Not a huge difference but enough to get shit from my female friends. Just enjoy it and have fun.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/22 10:05 PM
2

She sure did. Either she fucks like a porn star or it was OP’s first.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 11:21 PM
3

I’d like to be a stay at home husband. That’s some living the dream shit right there.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 11:20 PM
14

Stay at home housewife?!?!
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 12:28 PM
1

Agreed. Your friend (op) is a fucking scumbag and he deserve the divorce court sodomy coming his way. I hope the motherfucker loses everything.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/22 05:48 PM
2

I’m about to go through divorce number two. After my first divorce, I jumped back into the dating pool immediately. My mantra was best way to get over someone is to get under someone. I ran through as many women as I could. Then I got married again. We’re still married. Haven’t officially begun proceedings yet but the writing is on the wall. It’s over. I am looking forward to spending life alone and have no desire in any woman now. Maybe that will change once it’s final but I just can’t imagine …
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/22 11:56 PM
1

My first marriage ended at about the two year mark. We had similar earnings (I earned slightly more…like literally less than a dollar an hour more.)I wasn’t ordered to pay alimony but she as awarded almost all of the stuff (furniture, dishes, etc.) We we’re young and I was fresh out of the military so we didn’t have much. We each kept our vehicles as we had them prior to being married. But the judge awarded everything (almost) to her. I have no doubt in my mind that had I had a higher salary, I …
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/22 05:57 PM
1

I like to learn shit the hard way
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/22 02:21 AM
15

This is exactly what happened to me. My first wife started fucking a married coworker as soon as the butterflies stopped and she realized I was not in fact Prince Charming but was just a real man with real man qualities and flaws. I am, to quote Neil Peart a cell of awareness, imperfect and incomplete.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/22 07:34 PM
14

Men absolutely get sodomized in divorce court. My ex dropped out of community college and was making shit money when we married. I worked my ass off for as long as I can remember. Was an honor student in college, three scholarships = free college. Joined the military after college, did my required time and got out. Got a masters degree, good job, etc. When we went to divorce court, we each had to list all of our assets. Literally everything we owned had to be listed. The judge read through the l…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/22 01:46 AM
6

Only if that parasite is the woman
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/21 01:40 PM
3

This exactly. It is not in a man’s best interest to marry.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/21 02:25 PM
1

I am indeed.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/21 10:02 PM
5

It’s already been stated but yeah, your 2nd job will mean you pay more. It happened to a friend of mine. He and his wife split, she got the house and full custody of the kid, friend moved into a shit apartment with nothing (literally a mattress on the floor and a plastic chair.) He had to pay alimony and child support. He picked up a second job after the divorce was long finalized. She took him back to court on the premise that since he was now earning more, he should be paying more. Judge agree…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/21 07:38 PM
3

Hey no one ever accused me of being smart
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/21 04:12 PM
3

Damn…this is scary accurate. Wish I would have known about and understood this prior to saying I do. Young, single guys; learn this, know this, live and understand this.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/21 03:15 PM
4

I got married while I was still active duty military. What op had going was our plan; I would work. She would stay home and raise kids. For the first few months, it was glorious. She wasn’t working-and I was fine with that. But every night when I came home from work, the house was clean, she was making dinner, laundry was done, the fridge was stocked, etc. I couldn’t wait to have kids. I encouraged her to find a job and we would both do housework, cooking, etc. she said she wanted to have kids a…
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/21 12:44 PM
3

I hired an attorney. My wife hired a fucking shark.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/21 10:01 PM
2

I’m absolutely going to consult with attorneys. I realize people online can say anything. But I wanted to get some ideas here while I’m lining up consultation with attorneys. That’s my only reason for posting here. My ultimate goal is no alimony-but also, to pay out the least amount possible. So given the equity versus potential alimony…of course I won’t be paying that amount in alimony. Ideally we sell the house, split the cash 50/50, divide the stuff and go our separate ways. But I’m not sure …
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/21 10:25 PM
4

That’s fantastic. My wife and I both have advanced degrees. Her degree is in far more demand but she’s been lazy. She’s languished at a lower paying, no stress job while I’ve been killing my self to climb the ladder. If she worked as hard as me she would easily make 2-3x my salary. My degree/career is in a very specialized niche field. Globally there are only a hand full of jobs in my field and of course the higher I go, the fewer positions available. Ive known several people in my field who’ve …
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/21 11:10 PM
3

Married 11 years. Not sure how it would play out exactly. I’ve been through divorce once already but we were fairly young and didn’t have much. Plus, ex wife made almost as much as me. Alimony is a new animal for me. Basically, I really don’t want to pay alimony. I hate my career and want to start a business. I’ve been a business owner but the 2008 recession killed it. I have an idea for a new business and want to make that part of my “rebirth” but if I have to pay alimony, I’m afraid I would be…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/21 10:31 PM
3

Be careful with that better job stuff... my friend got divorced. His ex got the house and full custody of their kid. I don’t know how much he was paying her for alimony and child support but he found a higher paying job eventually and the ex took him back to court for more money. She said since he was making more, he should be paying more. The judge agreed. That poor bastard got hammered.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/21 01:22 PM
2

Jesus dude...here’s to hoping something better awaits you
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/21 01:13 PM
2

I’m in the same boat as you op. My wife and I are roommates at this point. I talked to an attorney about divorce. What he told me was terrifying. I’m late 40’s and financially, it would be devastating. My wife has stayed in the same job, refusing to chase promotions and not making much money while I’ve busted my ass and make almost double her salary. She doesn’t save much at all and has virtually nothing in retirement funds. Attorney said because of that, she would most likely get half of my ret…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/21 07:45 PM
3

Keep yourself on that track OP. Marriage isn’t worth it. I’m an old guy and am miserably married. I have a friend who is single. He’s never been married. He desperately wants to find a wife but I tell him as often as I can to stay single and enjoy his life. It’s just not worth it for men. I feel like I’m in prison. The only difference being, I can leave. But the expense will ruin what’s left of my life.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/21 07:35 PM
2

Yes do it. Your attorney will present the list with the value to the judge. It’s up to the judge if you get reimbursed or not. Judge could say no but you should at least try.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/21 07:25 PM
2

It’s going to cost you I’m afraid. When I went through my divorce, we had to list all of our assets for our attorneys. Then in court, the judge went item by item asking each of us to make an argument for why we should get it. She got about 80% of the “stuff.” Luckily we didn’t have much because we were young. So what did my dumbass do? Got married again. Been married for about ten years now and my wife and I are apathetic roommates. She’s kept herself at a “median for the area” salary while ive …
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/21 07:24 PM
1

I’m not sure about alimony. I think it is likely dependent upon what you and your STBX agree. For my friend, he had to pay alimony until his ex remarried...which was several years. I was lucky in my divorce in that I didn’t have to pay alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/21 11:59 PM
1

Read up on what happened to the actor, Dave Foley. He was hit with alimony and child support based on earnings from one project (I believe it was a show he was on) where he made a lot of money; even though at time of divorce he wasn’t making anywhere close to that same money. That poor bastard was sodomized by the court. I think he was barred from his home country of Canada and was unable to see his kids. It’s a terrible story and a great cautionary tale for men.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/21 10:57 AM
5

You said your wife hasn’t earned any money in years. I’m no attorney but I have been through a divorce. My concern would be spousal support. If she’s been at home with the kids then you’re probably gonna get hit with alimony on top of child support. Sometimes the courts can be ruthless. My friend got divorced from his stay at home mom, wife. They had one kid. When the dust settled, the majority of his paycheck went to alimony and child support. He rented a small, cheap apartment in a not great p…
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/21 10:50 AM
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