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View 4 posts and 96 comments by goddess-of-compost on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
914

REMINDER 👑goddess-of-compost/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 03:41 PM
365

REMINDER 👑goddess-of-compost/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 02:36 AM
50

STRATEGYgoddess-of-compost/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 02:51 PM
14

QUICK TIPgoddess-of-compost/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 04:06 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

I think the worse thing I’ve noticed is men who are so clueless to how attraction works that they literally think a woman going on dates with them must not be attracted to them unless she has sex with them after only knowing them a handful of hours (within the first 3 dates or sooner). A guy that oblivious to chemistry must be wonderful in bed!! < / s > Given how many fuckboys and future fakers are out there, the vast majority of women - even those who have never heard of this sub - are not goin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 02:16 PM
1

There’s realities that are self-evident to women, which are very beneficial for men to take into consideration. And yet, I’ve seen time when against their own self-interest men there dismissing these common sense insights when women drop the truth trying to help. A lot of men are oblivious to how much creepiness and manipulation there is towards women, and thus how basic it is for us to have ways to protect ourselves. Men expect to be trusted right off the bat, despite not taking the time to let…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 02:08 PM
1

Exactly. Women weeding out abusers, cheaters, future-fakers, fuckbois etc. should be celebrated by good men, not demonized. A decent, average man who has good hygiene, some emotional intelligence, who shows respect and consideration who wants a relationship is exactly what most women are wanting, and stand out against the “bad boy” stuff women are trying to avoid.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/20 01:38 PM
10

Slightly. I’m naturally a bit guarded inside if a man isn’t clear about his intentions or his suitability is questionable. Sometimes this comes off as aloofness, but I can also be open except for my emotions and sexuality. Even before finding like minded women I’ve shown myself capable of leaving - even when I was deeply in love - if a man was not treating me well, so it’s helpful to know I can trust my own backbone to kick in if need be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 03:02 AM
45

And like, yeah, the huge rush of feel good hormones and walking on cloud feelings subsides ... but in a good relationship there’s always a baseline of love that grows more fulfilling over time, and all the other wonderful things, so it never stood out to me as even noticeable tbh. Unlike the men who suddenly show their dick side 3 months into a relationship. That’s hard to miss unfortunately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 12:37 AM
54

Yuuup! Wow, that’s a great point. It’s always at or before 3 months when a sign a man can’t sustain a real relationship shows up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 12:34 AM
149

Thank you. I’ve honestly never resonated with this term because it does not reflect my relationship experiences at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 09:45 PM
12

Explain to your friends that he’s been consistently rude - insulting you for your age, despite being younger than him! Yikes - and you don’t want to even be around someone like that, nevermind friends. At least then it should be less awkward. If you’re friends are worth their salt, they’ll understand. Whether you tell him, fade him or not, this should make things easier with the people who matter to you.
/r/askFDS04/10/20 06:10 PM
3

A man who is hot and cold, who freaks out if you bring up something that needs to be discussed ... nevermind acts “attacked” by this ... is a walking red flag.
/r/askFDS29/09/20 01:23 PM
5

This is totally possible, and can be absolutely amazing. However, it’s rare for a man to be able to be this intimate without pushing to go all the way. Even if they can keep it PG for some time, even for men who themselves are wanting to wait for sex, it’s unlikely it will stay that way. Some may be able to keep it PG for months, but eventually there likely will be an expiration date .... and even these men are probably the exception. The only way this might be managed is to only snuggle or make…
/r/askFDS29/09/20 01:13 PM
2

This is so devastating. One upside may be that a LOT more women - and some of the better men - might start to become far more discerning about who they sleep with now that Roe v Wade is up in the air. Whether they realize it or not, there is likely to be heavy, potentially life-threatening consequences to unwanted pregnancies. This could easily have huge changes for dating/hookup culture. While I definitely value how we as women are far more accepted for being sexual than we were decades ago, I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 10:45 PM
108

If he really ignores you after you declined having him at your place, you definitely dodged a bullet. A good man who’s seriously interested in a relationship would not be phased by your not being up for having a man you barely know over. Most wouldn’t even think of inviting themselves over! Find other things to excite you, line up dates with other men, so it’s easier to handle however things go with this one.
/r/askFDS14/09/20 06:37 PM
2

The handbook is a great start - let her know you respect her and her choices no matter what, but want to equip her to be immune to the typical bs out there. That said, she’ll have great footing in the dating realm between that AND with wise and caring dad in her corner - unconditionally having her back and showing her how well she deserves to be treated. Having a support network, and especially a great dad, really are some of the best ways to level up and not fall for bs, imho. In my own experie…
/r/askFDS14/09/20 04:34 AM
1

And like, there are a number of women out there who really prefer height in men. While that’s not ideal for you, I completely agree with the other commenter that just letting go of these women and moving on to connecting with women who might be interested in you as you are, is going to lead to more success in the long run than focusing in the rejection and getting a complex about that. However, knowing you’re human and it’s possible that could be easier said than done, it really is worth investi…
/r/askFDS14/09/20 04:12 AM
2

Of course! One thing that saddens me is that some of the most attractive traits a man can have are ones that don’t require the stereotypical things outside of a person’s control. Like good listening skills - not just staying silent while someone’s talking, but responding in a way where you know they’ve taken to heart what you’ve said, and reflect back their understanding in a way that shows care. Honestly, a man simply having the balls to show he cares - when he really means it - is behind a lot…
/r/askFDS14/09/20 04:07 AM
4

I’ve even heard actual people who have done poly say that - it’s a bunch of dismissive avoidant (psychological term) running around causing chaos in their wake. Not everyone in that scene, sure, but it’s still the exception.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 05:47 PM
10

This shit gets to be manipulative. Whether it’s poly or neotantra, there’s a whole trip where if you know something’s a big nope for you ... all these people will freak out acting like you’re causing them harm for having boundaries, saying you’re shaming and stigmatizing them. There’s a lot of lip service in these communities to boundaries being a good thing ... and there’s definitely people in those scenes who truly mean that. But for every decent person, there may be a lot more asshats who tre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 03:10 PM
15

I lived in an area where the dominant form of “dating” if you can even call it that was non-monogamy. Sooo many women wanted a relationship and just kept sleeping with men who were sleeping around, just because they felt that was their only choice. I heard too much about how unhappy they were, and so many friends were in situations that made them feel disrespected and strung along by men who did not appreciate how awesome they were ... so it was a no brainer to skip dating and focus on leveling …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 02:56 PM
6

While I know there’s people for whom poly has seemed to work for - for every one of them, there’s a ton of women who had wonderful relationships that went down the tube when they tried to “open it up”. And tons of women who are single and want a relationship and are perpetually moaning about being treated like crap because they think they have no choice but to go along with the men they love sleeping around. There’s even a significant number of men who pressured their partner for an open relatio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 02:47 PM
1

While I enjoy makeup, oddly enough a high percentage of the times I met future SOs and hit it off, I wasn’t wearing any.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 12:39 AM
3

Wtf? Wow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 12:36 AM
5

Wow. I know it’s painful now - ghosting a partner after two years is horrible. But you absolutely deserve a man who’s not okay with his friends and family maltreating you. And at the very least, a man who would understand and respect you for not being okay with being treated like that. That’s a good thing you stood up for yourself, and if he tries to get back with you, remember how awful he treated you for something someone who truly cared would be proud of.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 01:14 PM
2

I find it off putting if a man is really desiring me to become more willing to give birth. I’m someone who naturally has distinct maternal instincts, and I strongly feel that outside of a VERY rare and unusual set of circumstances, starting a family these days is too risk. Even couples that adore each other and seem to have everything going for them have strain on both marriages when kids enter the picture. And those couples who have the best with it are the exception. I hear of so many women wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 02:18 AM
1

It sucks there’s now no easy way to express what it should mean!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 01:53 AM
9

The one man I met who acted upset at even the thought I was talking to any other guys (before he himself showed commitment to me, btw), turned out to be the most controlling & scary man I ever had the misfortune of dating. And I’m pretty sure if any man mentioned dating multiple women at the same time on one of the relationship forums here, nobody would see that as cheating. If he was sleeping with all of those multiple women and one of them found out and wasn’t happy, I’m also sure a good perce…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 02:22 PM
14

I’m pretty sure most of the rumors about FDS are complete fabrications because men are afraid of women no longer putting up with crap. Never once have I seen a post here encourage cheating, but every day there’s tons of posts supportive of women leaving abusive men. Like another poster said, some men feel so entitled to sex that they may see us not being interested in sex before a man has earned our trust as “taking away something that’s rightfully theirs”, and thus perceive our boundaries again…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 02:19 PM
34

Bras can be outright painful, nevermind just uncomfortable. A man who thinks it’s right for him to say his girlfriend should suffer for HIS preferences is not one who truly cares about her wellbeing whatsoever. This is not about whether or not women should wear bras, this is about being perfectly clear that our bodies are ours and not there to be unpleasant to live in just to please someone who doesn’t live in said body.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 02:08 PM
1

Also, just like now, in the 1700s in England it was common for people not to marry until they reached their 30s and were able to afford starting a household.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 12:01 PM
4

I don’t know if this is an accident. I read a book detailing how continual breastfeeding was an ancient form of birth control. It was absolutely crucial because a woman getting pregnant while raising a baby or toddler would have been extremely risky for all of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 11:50 AM
5

Some of these may be creative writing. I probably would have assumed the same at one point. But after having dated a real jerk or two, a lot of these seem way more realistic than I wish it did tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 11:24 AM
11

Her child probably already is set for life, though. It’s not like she’s poor, just because she’s only a millionaire rather than a billionaire.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 11:03 PM
19

So nice she has a mother seeing through his shit and looking out for her daughter. I’ve seen SO many people who bring up legitimate critique of his behavior on Twitter get blocked by that dude. Yet more indications of Musk being questionable. There’s tons of douchbags in the world, but this one has been widely idolized. He’s been going too far the way of Howard Hughes to be taken as seriously as he had been, at least.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 04:13 PM
23

Also, the article mentions the Duchess of Milan. Her name was Christina, and she was 16 years old when Henry - one of the most powerful kings in Europe - proposed to her. Henry was 47, and known - like he is now - for casting off his first wife and beheading his second. Her response to the king’s marriage proposal? ”If I had two heads, one should be at the King of England's disposal."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 08:23 PM
31

The whole point of the love languages, as I understand, is for guys like that to start showing their love in their wives’ love language. It’s total bs of these guys to use it as an excuse NOT to show love and consideration to their partners.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 08:16 PM
8

Wow, those are some prime examples of bullshit. It’s gross to see this concept being distorted like that. I think there’s some value in love languages, it absolutely comes down to how it’s interpreted and framed. Like, if my love language is different than his, the test would be him making a concerted and consistent effort to express love in ways that reflected MY love language. This is probably the most important take-away from the whole concept. And, just because I might rank “acts of service”…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 08:12 PM
34

Whether this be anecdotal or evidenced, there’s an interesting version of their first meeting: Henry, as such a powerful king, was so surrounded by yes-men that everyone he knew flattered him. Nobody let it slip that this once athletic man was tubby and gross, so his ego was even more ginormous than he was. Given that, he decided to act out a chivalric tradition of disguising himself upon first meeting his betrothed. As per the trope, she was supposed to recognize him as her true love - or at le…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 07:25 PM
26

Speaking of this, has anyone else had a weird reaction to observing the appeal of bubbliness? I like to think we’re all multifaceted. So seeing how much attention women would get when in a bright mood, and feeling the sting of emotionally stunted trash taking itself out when I happened to cry in their proximity, I went through a phase of holding back my bubbly side. I did NOT want to attract people who would only like that cheerful side of me, rather than those who could handle or even appreciat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 03:07 PM
16

It’s so weird how intelligence and beauty are assumed to be mutually exclusive somehow. Fuck yeah @ not settling for someone who won’t put in the 150%!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 02:55 PM
13

And agreed. As much as I appreciate hot men as much as the next gal ... in practice, when a man shows whatever is needed to create the emotional safety needed for a good relationship, it’s tended to unleash such a huge amount of chemistry & sensuality that completely overshadows purely superficial attraction. Given this, and how much our trust is linked to our full sexual expression, I find the jerky behavior of some men in hopes of getting sex to be extremely stupid. They’re literally cockblock…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 02:54 PM
14

I’ve always been so dismissive of men who primarily seem to be into me just for my looks, to the point of not really bothering with this sort ... or honestly even registering interest on that level as meaning anything. Men on OLD who initiate conversation by talking about how gorgeous they think I am, without actually starting a real conversation, are removing themselves from having any chance with me. When I was younger at least, I kept having guys and male friends make comments that struck me …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 02:36 PM
4

At first, only looking at the photo, I thought it was nice. Then I realized this person somehow thought it was a good idea to put this on his dating profile??? I honestly lack words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 04:57 AM
10

Slut for discussing the benefit of women NOT sleeping around? You’re funny.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/20 08:12 PM
3

Honestly, in the past this has never been an issue for me, because it’s kinda nice to bond with a guy over our mutual love for Skyrim. But, as nice as that little connection can be, hearing how frequently this can become an addiction makes me a more likely to screen a man for escapist/avoidant signs of addiction, which are known to sink otherwise promising relationships. And I think there’s a huge difference between genuinely enjoying a game or two now and then, versus being immersed in that gam…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 08:08 PM
16

It’s a women’s only dating sub focused on encouraging women not to tolerate abuse and manipulation from men. And to focus on improving life in general - career, hobbies, etc, so to find satisfaction beyond relationships. Some of the strategies discussed may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but mainly it gets a bad rap from incel-types. The main thing it gets a bad reputation from is encouraging women to date men who are financially & emotionally in shape to be able to help provide for a family. It’…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/20 07:44 PM
14

I agree strongly with valuing vulnerability, in general. Another lady who is known for strongly valuing vulnerability, Brene Brown, wrote a book about how critical good boundaries are. And how we don’t owe anyone our story. While it’s nice to have some degree of authenticity with new people, there is absolutely a layer of our vulnerability that is best shared only with those with a certain “security clearance” (aka have earned our trust by how they’ve consistent acted over a long span of time).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 10:23 PM
2

I know how tempting it is to remain friends with an ex. Many feel strongly that the only healthy way to do this is to give yourself a number of months of no contact - minimum - to get over the relationship. Otherwise, it tends to lead to iffy entanglements. And having this time to get over it and re-center means the friendship you actually develop later will be WAY more functional and healthy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 12:24 PM
2

A lot of people seeing this might focus on the materialism aspect. What stands out to me is the values and character. A man could be broke and only afford the cheapest flight, and still be absolutely pissed at the idea of not sitting next to his girlfriend during the long flight. He could be poor and still be thrilled to offer his shoulder her her to snuggle on during the journey, and help her with her bags, because her ease brings way more happiness than the little bit of effort it takes to sup…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 09:10 PM
3

First of all, I think setting and sticking to very clear boundaries to NOT see him if he moves nearby is necessary. Making it clear to him you have no intention to see him isn’t a bad idea. He can do what he will, he may or may not be deterred by this. You can’t control his reactions, and you’re not responsible for how he responds ... and you are absolutely not responsive for his wellbeing if he moves in the area. The focus needs to be on what you do have control over, sticking to your guns with…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 08:49 PM
3

First of all, great that you hold yourself to a higher standard! While It sounds like you have enough integrity to not be overly influenced by these guys, at least, that’s almost besides the point. Your choice to hang around in an atmosphere like that is likely to deter many women. Also, having sketchy friends like that has been known to cause problems in relationships. Even if a woman had lower standards enough to date a man with iffy friends like that, any woman is likely not to feel at ease i…
/r/askFDS30/04/20 10:54 PM
13

There can be something great in that certain chronic illnesses mean our energy is a limited commodity, and any stress is VERY costly. So, that means any guy we spend energy on has to be extremely worth it ... and, when we’re really on top of the low-stress lifestyle needed to stay as well as possible, there is way less room for tolerating crap. It takes many women until they’re around retirement age to start valuing their energy rather than something to freely give away to anyone ... and honorin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 06:47 PM
19

Yuup! One huge thing though, is patterns take time. A guy can be consistently amazing for a few months, and then suddenly turn into a jerk ... so the more time we have to observe his actions, the better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 05:49 PM
3

Thank you for speaking up about this. Yeah, there’s more than enough scary and depressing crap elsewhere. Not just online but you know, in real life. The hope of changing this sad reality means adjusting our standards to what is healthy and respectful, which means feeling accustomed to how decent and trustworthy treat women, and sharing support. I don’t think I’m alone in wanting to gravitate away from this sub due to it just shoving scary crap in our face. Many of us are here because we are alr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 06:29 PM
20

It sounds like, no matter how much you may care for him, he clearly hasn’t earned you, if that makes sense. He didn’t put in any real effort to court you, and now isn’t making any direct effort to build a future for you as a couple. No matter what affection lies between you, this has really hurt the trust you have in him ... so of COURSE your heart isn’t in this. This is unpleasant but an intelligent reaction. The part of you that’s checking out is the part of you that knows your worth. As someo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 04:19 PM
21

Is this about keeping yourself from continuing to engage with such a man, or just in coping with the feelings of wanting to to that? If you have good discipline and other fulfilling things going on in your life, giving yourself a few moments to breathe and doing a sort of mediation of just feeling all the impulsive feelings - feeling them, feeling your tension or anxiousness or whatever is is behind that - WITHOUT acting on them has been helpful for me. You may still have good feelings towards h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 04:00 PM
8

Yup. This poor decision, clearly taking with ZERO consideration of his wife - it was all “I’ll see the kid later”, with no thought of how childbirth would be for her - could SO easily screw up or ruin his marriage permanently. A friend would’ve stand by and let them make such a predictably disastrous choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 03:58 AM
5

First of all, he chose not to be there for his wife BEFORE this came up. Also, if he chose to be with his wife during a traumatic and risky experiences, his coworker would have been covering. He volunteered to be the one to stay so his coworker could leave, knowing his wife was about to give birth AFTER having already had a stillbirth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 02:30 AM
8

His wife previous lost a baby during childbirth. So aside from the normal intensity of childbirth, she had THAT overwhelming trauma to face - and he knowingly chose for her to face that alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 01:38 AM
38

Omg, to make it even worse, she lost a baby during labor before this. And he chose not to be with her during birth?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 01:36 AM
6

This guy wants the benefits of a relationship without the responsibilities, which inevitably causes “drama” ... yet he’ll blame you for having basic needs and standards any woman would in a romantic connection. If you fall for his crap, you may try to contort yourself to pretend not to have needs, to avoid seeming like these “other”, “dramatic” exes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 02:47 PM
13

Also, at least 70% of men on OkC blatantly admit they’re looking for a disposable relationship. I truly don’t fathom how they expect women to be lining up at the chance to be their temporary girlfriend for a few months.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 03:54 PM
22

One amazing example was this dude bragging about a book he wrote. I was bored enough I actually read it, and the main character, who is an obvious stand in for the author, is talking about blatantly manipulating women for casual sex, and basically viewing them in a clearly predatory manner. His entire perspective of women revolves around this, and he seemed fully aware he was setting these women up for pain, and did it anyway. It was so full of red flags, I was floored he had the lack of awarene…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 03:52 PM
65

I hope he lives and dies alone, not just as a punishment but to protect all the women he could give PTSD to behaving like a complete psychopath.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 12:18 AM
5

A lot of responders know he was an obvious jerk, but a lot of us are like, this guy is very likely an actual psychopath, if he can act like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 12:03 AM
4

It’s SUCH a subtle but gross hallmark of an abuser. This isn’t listed in the typical signs of abuse, but that scoffing air of disdain ... often at utterly random thing ... can often be the first sign of a really scary, controlling man. And by that I mean this throwing out an air of deep, violent hostility and scorn towards random things is literally part of the strategy some super violent men use to gain control over and isolate their victims. Even though the reasoning behind it is obviously bs,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 11:59 PM
51

You forgot also 95-100% in charge of the housework, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 11:23 PM
2

I’ve heard nofap has its issues, but honestly it’s sooo refreshing to see a thread full of men passionate about cultivating healthy, porn-free sexuality. 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 10:22 PM
24

Yikes. I’m the sort of woman who honestly never gave zero fucks about the idea of engagement rings ... but this is dirty and doesn’t fit her?? He knowingly gave her a ring that’s bound to bring up weird feelings in his bride to be?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 02:31 PM
19

Yeah, I think this is key. The other guys were attractive except not given their lack of knowing how to treat a date, so had no emotional pull. Which is what matters here. I recently cut out that one guy I was hung up on. It was hard but satisfying. And honestly it helped that even the men he used to compare so favorably to showed behavior that was lacking in him. It wasn’t a matter of them going over the top to show interest, but making it easier to act appropriately given his efforts went from…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 02:27 PM
8

Yeah, I’m hoping trying this again with a new handful of men will have better results. Weeding out the men who, despite being appealing, don’t know how to treat a date, might help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 01:42 PM
29

Does this take time to work? Like, to develop a roster of men who are good dates, versus men we like who aren’t good dates? I noticed going on dates with 3 men didn’t keep me from getting attached to one ... but the other two didn’t handle themselves well on the first date, so they compared poorly to the other guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 01:24 PM
4

One thing I’ll add is integrity. Many men can promise a lot, perhaps in hopes of stringing you along. A man with integrity has no gulf between his words and his actions. The consistency there is what makes him so trustworthy. And again, many men can seem great for the first few months. What counts is not big showy acts, but patterns of behavior that are consistent over a long span of time. Consideration is huge. Consideration is not mere kindness, although that’s important. Consideration can als…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 01:01 PM
1

Yeah, I agree a LVM who becomes a father won’t miraculously become a better man. It’s sad if a woman has kids based on hoping her iffy bf will shape up once kids enter the picture. But, some great men will become fathers. I think both their dedication to raising their kids well, and how they treat women, would clearly reflect this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 11:49 AM
2

There’s absolutely men out there who don’t ... and they’re way better in bed. The only place I know for sure a higher % of men exist without this are rural off-grid areas without cell reception and somehow live without wifi ... which is probably not very helpful 😂 There’s some hunky guys who love nature and kinda shun or just aren’t into technology (at least the staring at screens part of it).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 02:49 AM
3

I wouldn’t even enter a relationship with a guy like that. In a bf that’s a total dealbreaker to not respect you enough to commit to dates. You deserve a man who wants to spent a good part of his weekend with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 02:47 AM
1

I wonder, too. On one hand, a man with multiple kids or young ones or primary custody may be under too much pressure to put in the effort we require. Yet, compared to so many other young men, a man who has the experience of the care and responsibility of a young child may be way more mature and emotionally a HVM because of stepping up to become a good dad. A key thing would be how much free time & energy he has to date. For parents, their kids come first ... but regardless of kids or not, the so…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 02:43 AM
2

So practically no one in my area is going on dates during the pandemic, thankfully. However, there are some men interested in corresponding - either for human contact during quarantine or for the slow burn of getting to know one another as a prelude to dating. I’m also not open to skype dates - just feels weird. Sadly, a promising guy I had gone on at least 4 really great dates with had to be let go. After the quarantine started, he didn’t mention anything about future dates. Even though he kept…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 02:06 AM
32

FDS gets a bad rap because of a) the focus on qualifying men due to their willingness to show some effort courting us by paying for dates, and b) the complete lack of understanding around the 1st comment. Many of us want the security of effort and consistency in ways that go far beyond $. I’d much rather have a man that commits to a regularly practice of meditation or something, and has a high EQ so that he’s more self-aware and in a better position to be an emotionally supportive partner, than …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 02:24 PM
2

Perhaps there can be a separate forum for posts entangled around LVM antics. Ideally just for support for those still learning healthy boundaries, as that could be valuable for some, to help them get in the headspace of non-toxic relationships. I think some want to vent & feel solidarity/peace/safety after seeing one of the zillions of examples of demeaning treatment towards women ... but I strongly agree this is not the healthiest nor productive focus for the forum by far.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 02:11 PM
4

This is great! A man who ponders breaking up with you for expressing your needs/boundaries around respect is NOT good bf material. I know it may be uncomfortable, but finding this out sooner than later is better. It’s great you spoke up about that. Do NOT view speaking up for yourself as “ruining a good connection”. A good connection can more than withstand you having boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 03:26 PM
3

Based on how the article speaks of “rough sex” being used as an excuse for murder, I call this into question. Nevermind all the women ... and even tween girls, who feel pressured to do acts that feel degrading.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/20 03:04 AM
1

And definitely not from men who are untrustworthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/20 02:55 AM
42

Throw out the entire bf, jeez.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 02:30 AM
15

I’m saying this more in the sense that accepting my feelings rather than looking down on myself for having them is the only way to stay centered and empowered. I can feel whatever tf I feel AND completely be glad to cut ties with dudes who don’t meet my high standards. Typically, feeling compassion is a way to unmoor us from our boundaries. When we’re completely strong in our boundaries and standards, feeling soft emotions doesn’t contradict this. That said, in moments of setting a tough boundar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 02:05 AM
21

We can feel compassion AND still permanently dump someone who doesn’t deserve us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 01:05 AM
19

This. The ex who turned out to be scary AF had this attitude. He thought I should punch every man who showed friendliness to me in the face, and tried to shame me for not doing this. He even had the attitude that, if I was lounging around in my underwear at our home, and a contractor came in and saw me, he’d break up with me for dressing comfortably during a heatwave (near the equator, mind you) - rather than being upset at the contractor for barging in without knocking. Thankfully I left him so…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 10:26 PM
16

Wtf did I just read?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 08:48 PM
6

It’s appalling that, as an attractive young woman, it’s seen as a crime to simply be friendly to partnered guys. I was at a dinner party with a couple on their honeymoon. They were not just wonderful conversationalists, but honestly the only interesting people to talk to there. The wife told me how much they need to have an active social life, for their own wellbeing (as individuals and as a couple), and how, being stuck with only each other for two weeks straight during their honeymoon was stal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 05:12 PM
10

Not exactly the same thing, but my last ex insisted on calling me for 2 hours every night for months, and then reeeallly wanted to spend long periods of time together. I asked if he was sure this wasn’t too much, but he insisted. He was clinging to the point that he texted “missing” me while I went on a 5 minute errand. And then decided to suddenly dump me because he decided he couldn’t deal with being “expected” to stay in touch with a person. 😳 There must be something psychologically off about…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 12:34 AM
8

If he WANTS to be exclusive, he should have the balls to come right out and ask for that. Passive-aggressively suggesting he wants that, but not actually asking you strikes me as iffy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 12:26 AM
2

Yup! It’s sad to hear women with experience having casual relationships back in the 90s, where even then men treated them very well, like genuine friends and/or human beings. The bar has really dropped since then. To me, this FDS approach is raising that bar back up. Someone even said “it’s like a union for dating - collective bargaining”. To me, this approach of supporting other women to really honor their needs and boundaries and worth (which will look different for each of us), is totally bre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 12:10 AM
4

What’s being vented about here is more about the ubiquity or hookup culture, and it’s all coming from a very feminist standpoint that being abused or treated as a commodity is bad for women. Also, some may define a HVM as a wealthy man. I can’t speak for everyone, but most of the talk around HVM or LVM is simply around filtering out disrespectful, emotionally immature, or even outright abusive men. It’s up to each of us to define what our values are, in terms of what we look for in a guy - for e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 05:08 PM
13

Maybe in a very committed, long term, living-together type of relationship. My fool-in-love side has cooked, or even once felt inspired to not just touch his laundry, but treat it better than my own ... and only one man has ever shown ANY appreciation for that. In fact, while I have learned from this, and intend to tone this impulse down in the future... seeing how these men responded to these gestures was a great way to figure out that they weren’t the sort of man I’m looking for. It’s lovely t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 01:21 AM
5

Update: Had a long lovely date, (he insisted on paying for everything, but that’s not why it was lovely). kickhimout2020: The other dude who wrote a book that suggested a very toxic, player approach towards women got salty that I ignored his message wanting to meet. I’m so glad I went the extra mile and actually read it, so I could see what lied beneath his surface. Past me may have placed whatever iffy tendency it was that compelled me to my toxic ex - you know, the part that is subconsciously …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 05:03 PM
12

Just started online dating again. A guy messaged me saying he was “in an open relationship” yet “not looking to date multiple people”. 😳😂 Riiight. Slightly less amusing, but another guy I had my eye on messaged me first. His profile mentioned the name of a short book he wrote, and I actually read it. The protagonist blatantly admits to sleeping around constantly with co-workers, having an alcohol problem, and having zero conscience towards women he’s attracted to. I’m genuinely surprised, given …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 03:36 AM
3

A lot of women - who, in case it really needs to be noted, love sex - are finally starting to speak about how unsexy it is that even healthy young men are no longer capable of genuine, satisfying intimacy due to literally being rewired on a neurological level due to porn addiction. It’s FAR more common than one might think, and we’re only starting to break the wall of silence around this - maybe due to trying to spare the feelings of men we love, who have suffered from this. Teenage girls and gr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 10:18 PM
2

I’m a feminist, AND more often than not, even guy friends truly prefer to pay when we’ve gone out to eat, even despite me offering. I’ve had boyfriends feel genuinely upset when they couldn’t afford to spoil me, even though honestly I didn’t care. Obviously, some guys are different, but there’s tons of lovely guys who genuinely prefer this (at least some of the time), completely of their own accord (rather than being expected to pay).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 09:57 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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