| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 26 | There’s always someone else | godolphinarabian | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/22 03:48 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 6 | I told my wife that I don’t love her. She tried to OD on her prescriptions.Men post on here all the time that they want to end their lives because their wife left them. Yet y’all seem surprised when a woman is heartbroken. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/24 06:12 PM |
| 2 | Can’t deal with dating can’t with being singleIf you are looking for a relationship, yeah, most women who are also looking for a relationship will expect you to pick up the check. There is no way around it. It’s because most of the hookup guys want to do free “dates” or split the tab. As much as I wanted to believe in a 50/50 world, 99% of guys who split the tab ended up groping me or trying to sleep with me asap. The remaining 1% were awkward af or had some major red flag. Most guys who took me out to dinner were mature and respectful. Wom… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/02/24 07:07 AM |
| 1 | How dishonest many of them areReally this sub might be renamed “divorce for people who get shafted in divorce” which tends to be men because they make more money and think everything is good while their spouse is secretly cheating But it happens to women too, when we make more money and have a lying husband | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/02/24 03:48 PM |
| 1 | How dishonest many of them areLol, if you won 4 divorces, that’s definitely more stereotypical of women, statistically | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/02/24 03:47 PM |
| 0 | How dishonest many of them areYou sound bitter towards an entire gender. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/02/24 01:33 PM |
| 1 | How dishonest many of them areI mean, maybe you are taking a more womanly role? I definitely felt like I became the stereotypical man in my marriage. 4 marriages is a lot for one dude. You usually only see those numbers with a woman. Like a lot of men, I don’t think I’ll ever get legally married again. Not worth the financial risk. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/02/24 05:47 AM |
| -6 | How dishonest many of them areThere’s no statistics showing that lesbians break up because they were fighting about chores. That’s a wild leap. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/02/24 06:44 PM |
| -13 | How dishonest many of them areWell, by the end of my marriage, I earned double my ex-husband’s salary, I did the bills and the taxes, and I carried the “mental load” which is a real thing of planning and scheduling and assigning everything. If you don’t believe in mental load, ask your employer to fire all the administrators and office assistants and production coordinators. It matters. However, I stopped short of doing his half of chores for him. I had to start shifting chores to him that directly affected him—like dishes a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/02/24 06:13 PM |
| 2 | Not sure if divorce is the right moveIt does not get better unless you do something about it. And you do the RIGHT things. Time does not heal unless you are using that time to practice healing. If she has PPD, that needs to be professionally treated through medications and therapy. It doesn’t just get better on its own. Pregnancy does permanently change hormones and wrecks the metabolism for most women. It can cause thyroid disorders that didn’t exist before. If she is breastfeeding it prolongs the process. Especially if she derive… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/02/24 01:11 AM |
| 11 | Infuratiated by Instagram PostShe missed a step. Infidelity: When instead of trying to communicate in a different way (or communicate at all) with your spouse, you disassociate from reality and pretend you’re single. The fact that she claims the left behind spouse is the disassociated one is wild. The “grieving a relationship while still in it” and “dating while still married” spouse is definitely the one ACTUALLY dissociating. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/01/24 02:00 AM |
| 3 | How do you feel about your wife keeping your surname after the divorce?A lot of women keep the surname out of convenience and a sense of ownership. It’s been her name for years. And the surname she had before that was her dad’s, so…she’s still “linked” to some dude. Maybe between you and daddy it was a wash. If it didn’t bother you when you got married, it’s silly to claim it’s patriarchal now that you’re upset about it. Unless the surname is very unique, it is not your name, there are hundreds or millions like you out there. She can legally change her surname to a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/01/24 07:36 AM |
| 3 | Is it selfish to want to be happy?Wherever you go, there you are. If you married and created a family with a woman you “never” loved, you lack discernment, and you shouldn’t believe yourself when you think that there is some fantasy woman out there that will make you happy. Women your age are most likely going to have their own baggage and struggles that will hinder your fantasy of instant love and connection. 60% of women are mothers by age 29. So you will also be dealing with their kids. Women younger than you are either using… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/01/24 04:33 PM |
| 6 | Boob jobAre you asking if it’s a normal reaction from you or from her? I’m petty AF, so if I were you I’d have some one liners when she drops this type of shit. “Oh good, I know you’ve been struggling out there—this should help you stand out.” “Yeah, I didn’t want to tell you when we were married, but they always were a little…disappointing.” “Do you at least get a tax write off for OnlyFans?” “How do the kids feel about this?” [if you have a daughter] “Hmmm, does this send the right message to ______ a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/24 05:44 AM |
| 3 | Boob jobHow? That’s like 100 units of Botox. I don’t think it’s safe to use that much in one sitting. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/24 05:32 AM |
| 4 | Looking for mortgage modification advice (please)If it’s conventional they usually won’t let you assume it because there’s no benefit to them. They know you want to keep the house and refinancing at higher rates makes them more money. If they won’t let you assume at least give them the middle finger and refinance with a different bank. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/24 04:34 AM |
| 2 | What’s this form of abuse calledThank you for this comment—one of the few reasonable ones that does not demonize all women in the process. My ex-husband had this light switch downturn in happiness out of the blue even though we didn’t have kids. It happens in both genders. When my ex suddenly checked out of the marriage he developed the worst combo of the negative traits of both men and women that both sides complain about. Sometimes I felt like a man with a wife withholding sex and failing to contribute financially, sometimes… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/12/23 03:14 PM |
| 4 | When The Marriage Wasn’t Bad and You Can’t Hate…Nat Geo did an article on correlation with covid and schizophrenic like episodes. I really wonder if some of these exes were affected. There seem to be so many people who changed their personality. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/article/can-covid-19-alter-your-personality-heres-what-brain-research-shows | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/12/23 08:23 PM |
| 1 | She just admitted itHow did your other two marriages end? | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/12/23 08:30 AM |
| 1 | Glad I found this placeWhat did the doctor see in her? | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/12/23 10:48 PM |
| 1 | Online dating and revealing you’re divorced?I’m a woman lurker here, I was given an honorary man award when I talked about my divorce on this sub previously. I was basically the dude in my divorce. I recommend putting it on your profile, how long you were married and how long ago your divorce was finalized. If a guy doesn’t put it on his profile or tell me in the first couple chats, I’m more likely to unmatch. I hate feeling like I have to interrogate a guy for basic info and if he doesn’t offer he might be hiding something. Since it was … | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/23 10:58 PM |
| 1 | What does online dating look like for you?Wowwwwww. Okay. We’re done here. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/11/23 08:57 AM |
| 1 | What does online dating look like for you?I have never kissed on the first date, and my body count is very low, I’m not a hypocrite. Everyone I’ve slept with there was a lead up courting period. I was married most of my adult life and was faithful to my husband. I had a higher libido than my husband too which was frustrating but I loved him. We divorced due to his developing a gambling problem and him abusing me physically over the addiction and rage. You sound really bitter, but if we ever dated I would not let you take me on dates if … | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/11/23 08:56 AM |
| 1 | What does online dating look like for you?Huh? I play it safe with every man I’ve slept it, which isn’t that many, I was married most of my adult life, what the hell? | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/11/23 08:52 AM |
| 1 | What does online dating look like for you?Steve Harvey is a well-known womanizer who married his mistress and I hate his guts, but I also believe him when he talks about how men think and act at their most carnal level. We learn best from the predators how to avoid a predator. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/23 03:56 AM |
| 2 | What does online dating look like for you?I don’t do hookups or FWBs at all, and many women don’t, we really only want to share ourselves physically with people we actually love. There is no scenario where I jump into bed on the first date. Or kiss on the first date. I’m treating every guy I date the same, assessing him as a partner before I let my heart get involved. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/23 03:47 AM |
| 2 | What does online dating look like for you?If you’re looking for relationship material women, the timeline is gonna be slower because you should be trying to get to know each other as people. The point of dating is to bond emotionally and mentally for a long term future. Not to get kisses and sex as quickly as possible. It’s not “withholding affection”, it’s reserving affection for someone you actually might build a life with. Women get attached emotionally very easily to incompatible or toxic guys after physical affection. After sex, wo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/23 03:45 AM |
| 2 | What does online dating look like for you?Kissing is still intimate, swapping spit is not something that I (or tons of other women) would feel comfortable doing with someone after only talking to them over coffee the first time we’ve met in person. Men who expect these rapid timelines from OLD completely discount that in-person dating had many more experiences to build trust and familiarity. The coworker you saw at the office every day for months, the classmate you chatted with for half a semester before you asked her out. OLD by your v… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/23 03:38 AM |
| 1 | What does online dating look like for you?Disagree on the physical intimacy, plenty of great, attractive women want to keep it platonic the first few dates. And we’re advised to even if we’re feeling it because any man can put on a good front for a few weeks. Guys like Steve Harvey tell women not to have sex for 90 days because that’s when a player will fizzle out. And now with incels telling men to demand sex by date 3, well all the more reason to wait until after date 3 for intimacy. Women get pumped and dumped all the time. A lot of … | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/11/23 09:16 PM |
| 0 | What does online dating look like for you?I agree with you on the delaying a second date, to a point. It really depends on how far the drive is, if she has kids, and what her post-work schedule is. There are lots of legitimately busy women. But just being vaguely busy probably means she didn’t feel much connection on the first date. HOWEVER. If she’s a woman in high demand she may have already scheduled out dates before you asked for a second one, and just because she’s not willing to cancel on those chaps doesn’t mean she’s not more in… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/11/23 09:11 PM |
| 3 | What does online dating look like for you?Volume daters like yourself are why women’s dating coaches advise not doing coffee and walk dates anymore, though. It’s not about spending X amount of dollars. I’m being selective about who I go out on a first date with. I went through a period where I was going on a first date every night and it was a waste of time and energy. That’s great for your twenties, not for post-divorce dating. So now I have no interest in a guy whose standards are so low that he’ll go on a coffee date with just anyone… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/11/23 09:03 PM |
| 0 | What does online dating look like for you?I was the primary breadwinner in my marriage and in my divorce I had to function as a typical man, so the advice was more applicable than the main sub. I’ve since deleted the post but I got an “honorary man” award from several commenters when I talked about my divorce here. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/11/23 08:50 PM |
| 1 | What does online dating look like for you?Well, as all the other commenters have said, women do have more options on the apps than men, so basic economics would say that, yes, it helps if a dude can Google Maps a restaurant or search “fun date in ______” so he stands out from the crowd. I have multiple men in my inbox daily who are carbon copies of each other, the only way they distinguish themselves is by having really good social skills over text (most don’t and say “I’m so bad at texting,” or “I’m better in person”) or by picking a m… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/11/23 06:43 PM |
| 0 | What does online dating look like for you?I don’t ask them out nor “plan” dates, no. If they ask for my input, I’ll make suggestions. But for the first few dates, unless we’ve bonded over some niche interest, the only “planning” a guy has to do is pick a restaurant or activity. If he isn’t creative enough to pick a restaurant from Google Maps he can always Google “dates in ______” for ideas. Notice that I said low effort, not low cost. You can have higher effort dates that are low cost. Yes, they pay, which is a long-winded topic for th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/11/23 06:11 PM |
| -6 | What does online dating look like for you?While the legends about women using dating as a free meal exercise are illuminating, those women are few and far between, and iirc they were younger women. If OP is trying to date 27 year olds he gets what’s coming to him. I know a ton of 30+ women who are dating and most will absolutely not exchange their time, energy, hair, makeup, and gas (and babysitter if they have kids) for a meal where they are likely to get hit up for sex or boxed in by a man talking nonstop for 2 hours. I no longer acce… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/11/23 02:24 PM |
| -1 | What does online dating look like for you?Also, as a woman that gets tons of matches (I’m in Standouts on Hinge and get around 30 likes a day), I only check the apps once a day, or once every other day. You do need to convert to a date pretty quickly or I will assume you’re leading me on. Especially if the conversation has dwindled. The point of the app is to establish baseline compatibility for a first date. For the love of God don’t send me things like “Happy Monday!” or “How was your day?” every day to keep me on a string. Just ask m… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/11/23 02:10 PM |
| -1 | What does online dating look like for you?If you do meet someone you think you could be serious about, be aware that many women are fed up with the low effort first dates so you could lose out if you suggest drinks, coffee, or walks in the park. Lots of dating coaches for women advocate that they turn down a first date that is anything less than lunch or a cool activity. You can always video chat to alleviate catfish fears. A lot of incel and redpill advocates push for low effort first dates and splitting the check during the courting p… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/11/23 01:35 PM |
| 2 | Why do stbex’s memory of the past differ so much from reality?https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5835184/ | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/11/23 03:09 AM |
| 6 | Why do stbex’s memory of the past differ so much from reality?Some people of both genders expect their spouse to provide meaning to their life. My ex divorced me and everyone said he was acting like a woman, so maybe women do it more. He also withheld sex and affection, which seems like a feminine thing to do 😣 He had his strengths, and he did a lot of big gestures (which I didn’t ask for but appreciated), but they came with strings attached. Nice anniversary dinner? I had to gush to the whole world and make him feel like a damn hero, no normal show of app… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/11/23 03:04 AM |
| -2 | Shit get half of my stuff, I get what?It’s based on resale price on the market. Courts can’t do anything with sentimental value. Used clothes and wedding dresses have almost zero resale value. Your toys and tools can actually be re-sold for a good price. If she has actual Rolexes, Gucci purses, Tiffany jewelry, you can demand the resale price for that. This isn’t really a gender issue, but an issue of you bought assets with resale value and she didn’t. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/10/23 05:27 PM |
| 1 | Tell Her Family?My ex was in many ways more of a woman than a man, and I preempted his “I’m the victim I’ve been unhappy wah wah wah” with a campaign of truth. I told everyone DURING the divorce. Family, friends, neighbors. As long as you have some prior connection, you can tell whomever you want. Don’t text her coworker if you’ve never personally talked to the coworker. But the neighbor you chatted with once at a Christmas party? Fair game. If you’re going to do it, do it right. Stick to facts that you have ev… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/10/23 05:58 PM |
| 1 | I want to do a buy-out, ex doesn't agree, what nowThis is the only answer you need | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/23 02:41 AM |
| 6 | Marriage is undefeated in killing libido and it appears there's nothing I can do to stop itStating what you need in a marriage (ergo: if needs are not met, my role in the marriage will end) is a healthy boundary. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/09/23 06:11 AM |
| -11 | Women's brain are hard-wired to blame men. Just accept it as a fact.Men do not accept help, just like they don’t ask for directions. They especially do not accept help from women, and even more especially not from their wives. Many progressive wives have tried to help their husbands. The story is always the same. If the wife is attractive and there is enough sex, the man accepts the help to hang onto her. Over time, he lets resentment creep in. Why should he have to change? Why can’t she just be happy with who he is? He then meets a 22 year old coworker who fawn… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/09/23 06:01 AM |
| 2 | Marriage is undefeated in killing libido and it appears there's nothing I can do to stop itI find a lot of men “forget” how to warm up their wives with non-sexual affection. They don’t want to cuddle during movies anymore. Many women, no matter how old they are, prefer a low pressure warmup. A ton of cuddling, stroking, and kissing without hitting the genitalia and breasts. I assume you two watch some TV together, this is a great time because it’s on the couch and there’s something else going on so it doesn’t HAVE to lead to sex. The other thing I would add is that if you’ve truly exh… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/09/23 04:15 AM |
| 26 | Revenge or notFacts aren’t revenge. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/06/23 05:55 AM |
| 17 | Don't we all just want to be loved?I think you got lost on your way to r/showerthoughts But seriously, if it was that simple there would be no divorces. A lot of people don’t want to love and be loved, and do the hard work that comes with that…they want an endless supply of dopamine via novelty, attention, money, and sex. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/06/23 08:38 PM |
| 1 | Anyone here feel like they're just never gonna date again?He didn’t leave, he got his dick’s worth first | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/06/23 07:52 PM |
| 1 | Anyone here feel like they're just never gonna date again?People can be complex especially when it comes to sex and emotions, there could be a hundred reasons why she had a weird reaction to the condom that are not baby trapping. You shouldn’t have finished, you should have left. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/06/23 07:50 PM |
| 0 | Anyone here feel like they're just never gonna date again?It sounds like a previous guy refused condoms and made her feel like a buzzkill for staying safe, so she thought she was being sexy by insisting on none. Especially because she was trying to take it off like ooohh I want you so much yadda yadda. If she was crying because she thought you made her feel dirty she could legitimately feel slut-shamed. It could have nothing to do with baby trapping. Did she use birth control? Did you tell her you thought she was baby trapping you —and if so what was h… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/06/23 08:46 PM |
| 3 | Can the judge make me keep the house?Take your emotion out of the divorce. Where she lives is none of your concern from this point forward except to ensure that she is within child custody boundaries. Unless you cheated on her in an at fault divorce, your divorce is going to end up 50/50. If she wants to keep the house, she has to be able to refinance and carry the mortgage herself. If she can do that, let it go. If she can’t, a judge won’t make you pay for the house for her. It she cheated on you, get a lawyer who supports you in … | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/06/23 05:45 AM |
| -1 | Can the judge make me keep the house?Why don’t you want her living in the house? | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/06/23 03:13 AM |
| 2 | Divorce - If you had to do it all over againwat | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/06/23 10:13 PM |
| 2 | Well, it finally happened, r/Divorce banI see many of those in men, too, however it’s usually a cover for infidelity. Men tend to leave when they have a soft space to land. Women do too, though, I think more women get brazen and believe that dating is going to be a bed of roses and leave without someone lined up. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/05/23 11:06 PM |
| 7 | Well, it finally happened, r/Divorce banYou’re describing “walkaway wife” syndrome which is the corollary to “runaway husband” syndrome. Blindsides happen to women too. It’s not a gender thing, it’s a provider thing. The more stable partner that contributes more (usually financially, but sometimes also emotionally) is used and cast aside by the egotistical, dependent partner. The more dependent partner gets spoiled and bratty, and starts monkey branching. I think these dependents feel inferior to their partner and instead of stepping … | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/23 10:28 PM |
| 0 | Started the journey. Strapped in for the roller coaster.Get a different job if she still outearns you and you’re working until 1am. 40 hours a week, you mean, like everyone else in the world, bare minimum? Oh you do basic child pickup and cook dinner some nights? Come on. Grow a pair. What’s the big deal about 1am if you’re only working the standard 40? Clearly you chose a job with a shifted schedule don’t act like you don’t have options, you’re not working 80 walking uphill to work both ways. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/05/23 02:28 AM |
| -2 | Started the journey. Strapped in for the roller coaster.She’s also the primary breadwinner so she’s likely to see you as not pulling your weight if your primary contribution is sitting on your ass and telling her she’s crazy. I don’t think a disparity in incomes for either gender works well in today’s society. Y’all should be equitable partners so if she’s contributing more financially you have to contribute more somewhere else. It sounds like you could have been more emotionally supportive or picked up the slack financially so she can go to a less s… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/05/23 12:45 AM |
| 0 | Started the journey. Strapped in for the roller coaster.Read it. You demanded that she get help for her issues but you didn’t engage in MC. Telling her she’s effed in the head is a poor way to communicate with your spouse. You wouldn’t respond well either if someone told you you were the problem it’s all you. What you should have done is said, I’m unhappy in this relationship and if we don’t go through individuals counseling (BOTH of you, I’m sure you have shit to unpack, we all do) as well as marriage counseling, then I will seek a divorce in 6 mont… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/05/23 12:38 AM |
| 6 | Started the journey. Strapped in for the roller coaster.All cash is marital while you are married regardless of whose name is on it. So is all debt. It’s 100% legal for her to move joint money to a personal account. It’s also 100% legal for her to spend every dime. You are only protected when you file for divorce which puts in a standing order that says spouses cannot deplete assets or spend outside the status quo. I don’t see any details of what led up to your sudden divorce announcement, but it sounds like you two weren’t in counseling or anything,… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/05/23 12:31 AM |
| 1 | Thinking about telling OBS about ex-wife’s affair. Concerned about retaliation.OP is still married… If the information was spread during the marriage it literally will not matter. I don’t disagree with you that the safest thing is in-person but there are so many people outing their cheating spouses electronically this is truly a non-issue. US family courts don’t give a shit about outing cheaters, and good luck pursuing a case under “wiretapping laws” for revealing an affair while still married. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/05/23 08:35 PM |
| 6 | I get how fathers abandon their childrenI think you’re giving yourself a pass too easily to say you’re a horrible caregiver therefore abandon the special needs child. It is your job as a parent of a special needs child to become the caregiver they need. If you haven’t done that in the past, start now. As for intolerable exes, you’re not special, you think most people have an easy time? You’re mistaken. Divorce sucks. Marriage is hard sometimes being a divorced parent is harder. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/05/23 05:38 PM |
| 1 | Thinking about telling OBS about ex-wife’s affair. Concerned about retaliation.Privacy is not legally an expectation in a married couple. You are legally one entity. Wiretapping is not the same as having screenshots of your joint marital property. The only privacy law that seems to regularly play out in divorce court is secret recordings of spouses in a one-party consent state. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/05/23 04:50 PM |
| 3 | Thinking about telling OBS about ex-wife’s affair. Concerned about retaliation.To be frank, this advice is parroted by every lawyer because they assume 1) you being quiet will mollify your wife and 2) as lawyers they don’t want to deal with drama. In most cases a cheating spouse does not care enough about being outed to be nicer to you in the divorce proceedings. The ones that do would have already come to you with a gag order in exchange for money. There’s almost no legal advantage to not telling the OBS besides it may piss off your lawyer. Your first mistake was asking i… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/05/23 09:59 PM |
| 2 | Thinking about telling OBS about ex-wife’s affair. Concerned about retaliation.Revenge porn laws are about sexual photos and videos, not telling someone about the affair. There is no federal law and state laws vary. I don’t believe any of them protect texts or written content at all, even if sexually explicit. You likely have rights to anything on your wife’s devices as it is marital property, hell you’re probably paying the phone and internet bill she used to send them. I was anonymously harassed by my ex via burner email, text, and social media accounts, and unless you w… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/05/23 09:51 PM |
| 3 | Handling rich new guyIf he’s not a groomer he has mommy issues. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/05/23 05:42 AM |
| 1 | Everywhere I lookMen are leaving wives too. If the wife earns more or leads more, her husband is more likely to leave her. There are people of both genders who latch onto another person and expect that person to make them happy or provide for them like a parent. Happiness comes from within. There are also plenty of men who just wanted a caretaker they can f*** and leave the minute their wives get sick or otherwise need real support from them. Men seem to unilaterally suck at caregiving and will drop a wife who s… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/23 05:38 PM |
| 2 | I wish I could understandYou don’t have to buy into all this alpha / beta redpill / bluepill shit. There are women out there who want equal partners and be one themselves. Not many but they exist. You don’t have to become some domineering Don Draper playboy to have a loving partner. The fact is most people are broken and thus marriage is broken. You are a sad statistic but it doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. You married a person who was never going to appreciate you. Unfortunately most people just don’t know how to … | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/23 11:39 PM |
| 1 | When will I know I’m divorced?In most states when the divorce decree is signed by the judge and filed with the court. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/04/23 06:17 PM |
| 2 | Who gets the house?Has she cheated though? It still matters for custody even in no-fault so that could be helpful to you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/23 04:19 AM |
| 1 | Who gets the house?What state are you in? If it’s at fault and she has cheated or committed some other fault grounds then those “morals” can matter in who gets the house. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/23 04:05 AM |
| 3 | Who gets the house?Just remember it’s 50% of the marital estate. It’s not her retirement or your retirement. It does not matter whose name is on it it’s all joint property in a divorce. Add everything you both have, divide in half, that’s her cut. You do have some leverage, maybe, if she wants to avoid court. You can say hey we won’t spend the legal fees taking this in front of a judge who will force us to sell and then nobody’s happy, you let me keep the house, and I’ll just give you the alimony a judge would awa… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/23 12:20 AM |
| 1 | Feeling TrappedIn some states the divorce will proceed where the Defendant lives, not where it was filed. If the Defendant moves counties, the divorce moves with them. It then gets trickier if the Defendant moves states while the divorce is still ongoing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/23 09:59 PM |
| 2 | Who gets the house?You can do whatever you both agree to. So if you want to gift her your equity in the house for free, you can. If you want to exchange your equity for reduced alimony you could do that too. Or you don’t do anything and demand 50% equity but then she’s also going to demand whatever alimony or support she’s entitled to. If you go to court most judges say it’s 50/50 so whoever can afford to buyout does. If not possible for either to buyout then you sell the house. But I think what you’re saying is t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/23 09:51 PM |
| 2 | The BEST parts about being divorcedThe single moms are only like that because they think you’ll settle down with them and be the new father figure if they lure you in with freaky sex. You may be getting exactly what you want, but emotionally it’s all sorts of ick. At least keep the transaction of benefits clean, you know damn well she’s not there for the sex. She may be attempting to use you but you don’t have to use her back. Just find someone who actually likes sex for sex. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/23 09:37 PM |
| 1 | What is the scientific name for when a woman rewrites history in her mind?Rewriting history is the most accurate term. Blame shifting due to cognitive dissonance and an inability to take accountability for one’s own actions. In nearly all cases, when someone does this they’ve already monkeybranched. It is the cheater’s playbook, I’ve seen this behavior in all genders. From one of those affair recovery websites: “””She told me that when she found out about my emotional affair the main reason why she stayed and worked on our marriage was because of our past, and the way… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/23 02:00 PM |
| 1 | Should I sign Quit Claim?This is a a refinance so this should be happening through the bank and the title company. Technically the money will NOT be in your hands when you sign the quitclaim, however the deed is held in escrow. So after all the curing and waiting periods are done, you have your money at the same time the deed is released to your spouse. There is a lot of fear mongering in this thread. This is a refi on a mortgaged property not a pure cash exchange. The bank owns the house so neither of you should be giv… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/23 12:26 AM |
| 27 | Having a tough time.She’s already monkey branched out. They get angry so they feel justified and rewrite history. Cheater’s playbook. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/23 12:54 AM |
| 2 | [GA] 3 Years Waiting!What county? | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/02/23 06:56 PM |
| 1 | There’s always someone elseHe did have a few occasions to physically cheat, but since I’m an honest person I wouldn’t accuse him of that, even anonymously online, without more solid proof. She’s in another state but he travelled there a few times for “business”. Which I think were legitimate work trips but the opportunity was there. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/22 10:43 PM |
| 1 | There’s always someone elseYea, while he was cheating he was also promoting last minute upgrades to our house build. Big ones. $10k, $12k, $8k, $15k. Some of them he REALLY pushed for when I was willing to forgo. At the same time forgetting that it would be harder for him to keep a more expensive house…and the message it sends when I’m texting his parents look at our cool upgrades while he’s planning to leave… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/22 09:32 PM |
| 3 | There’s always someone elseHe really is financially illiterate. I was trying to reason with him and explain why there was no cash out equity in the house, the difference between conforming and jumbo loans, and his response was, “I don’t believe you and your jumbo loan crap and you better start saving your pennies for the appraisal.” | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/22 09:20 PM |
| 2 | There’s always someone elseI’m glad for you she was reasonable on some things. My STBXH has so much shame over his emotional infidelity being outed and disappointment over little plans failing that he’s gone scorched earth. The level of pettiness (that hurts him sometimes more than me!) is unbelievable. If I could go back in time I probably would have just kept my mouth shut while he was still in the affair fog so he would have signed away everything to be with his new person. But now that he’s lost her and his reputation… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/22 09:17 PM |
| 1 | There’s always someone elseBecause I feel like a man in the divorce and the other divorce sub is mostly women whining while they monkey branch | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/22 09:09 PM |
| 2 | There’s always someone elseMy husband isn’t much of a man then. He has a dick but acts like a woman. He even said sex is more of an “emotional” thing for him and did what a lot of women do, withheld sex if the dishwasher wasn’t loaded right, etc. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/22 09:03 PM |
| 10 | There’s always someone elseI actually think the other sub should be Divorce_Women and don’t see many breadwinners there getting fucked over by who they thought would be the ride or die. For every post like mine there are ten posts of women “I just want to divorce and I’m not happy anymore and I don’t feel butterflies but I’ve never actually communicated any of this but FEELINGS” But even I’m surprised at the level of vitriol of some commenters here because I don’t have a physical dick | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/22 08:58 PM |
| -1 | There’s always someone elseYou misread, dear. We were going to have kids this year. We even bought some baby stuff. Yeah, emotionally cheating and planning a whole new life with someone else? He didn’t have the balls to physically cheat. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/22 08:55 PM |
| 2 | There’s always someone elseLol, thanks! | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/22 08:53 PM |
| 3 | There’s always someone elseI didn’t think I was marrying down at the time I was married. I didn’t have a lot of love and stability in my childhood and here comes this nice guy who tells me I’m amazing and wonderful and made all these promises. He said he was going to provide for me and give me everything I never had. I believed it when I was young and we both had nothing. I married potential. The potential didn’t pan out on his end. He was deeply insecure that I outearned him. Maybe women don’t marry down but some of us s… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/22 07:06 PM |
| 4 | There’s always someone elseWhat I’m not telling you is that he has deep seated mommy issues and couldn’t decide if he wanted me to be his wife or his mother, and his mother (typical SAHM never worked a day in her life emotionally manipulative) has been egging him on to divorce me for a year to find someone who “appreciates him more” The person he found was a single mom in debt who does OnlyFans and then mom was like “wait no” but he was so embarrassed about it at all that it didn’t stop the divorce | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/22 06:34 PM |
| 18 | There’s always someone elseI’m not anatomically a man, but the legal, social, and financial issues I’ve faced in my divorce are more typical to a man than a woman. Even the attorneys have mixed up the pronouns because it’s that bad. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/22 03:55 PM |
| 3 | She is struggling.At least she’s not victimizing herself and blaming you and saying you cheated or something. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/12/22 03:10 PM |
| 2 | Help Needed! Regret over Excruciating DivorceI appreciate you working on yourself. Perhaps you did cause most of your problems in your marriage. Did she ever ask for counseling? Did you offer counseling and she refused it? Did you buy any relationship books or other things to do together? If you are offering counseling and other concessions to repair the damage to her, and she’s not accepting them, she may be cheating or planning to cheat. Most spouses are amenable to real reconciliation, especially if you do all the work, unless they have… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/12/22 03:54 PM |
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