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goldensurrender Archive

View 3 posts and 81 comments by goldensurrender on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

Yep
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/25 08:33 AM
42

No because their ideology is essentially "I am a victim" at its core
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/25 07:59 AM
6

You don't have proper male protectors in your life (stable father figure etc). A stable loving protective male figure in your life would tell you to kick this guy to the curb, and if you couldn't do that he would make it clear to this guy for you. So, this guy is not high value okay? And there is no trying to get him to be. It's okay that you don't know this. But now you know. This relationship is not salvageable.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/24 07:04 PM
1

Same. My dad has two ivy league degrees as well. It's hard. My husband is great but I constantly have to try to let go of the thoughts I have about my dad just all around being kind of better at everything.
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/22 10:42 PM
1

I'm interested!
/r/RedPillWives04/07/22 01:25 AM
3

I completely agree. And I've seen this pattern from her before with trying to convince others she either had a good sex life, or complaining about a man sexually. I'm just like girl you got to stop doing that this is super disrespectful and awkward.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/21 04:43 PM
2

I don't know.... I just met him yesterday. He said about five words over three hours. I don't get a bad vibe or anything, just very checked out?
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/21 04:41 PM
2

This. Exactly. Right now my husband makes about 50k, and I now am not working because I'm 7 months pregnant. I have expressed my desire to only work very part time next year and he is completely on board. Could I freak out about finances right now? Yep. But I'm not, because I am leaving this responsibility all on him now. He has had a couple freak outs recently in now realizing this is all on him to make more, and I simply let him freak out and then thanked him for working so hard to provide for…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/21 01:59 AM
3

Expectations are future resentments
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/21 10:16 PM
1

My husband says he really doesn't care if I work or not and he would prefer that any work I do outside the home never interfere with our family life or his work ambitions. That is a-ok for me. Right now I work 25 hours as a nanny and that works great. I also have never done well working 40 hours per week. But that's because I do a LOT of home-making things and that's what I enjoy doing and it really stresses me out to have to cut back on those things, and then the stress is not worth it. The thi…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/21 09:15 PM
2

I am 5'11, married to a man who is 6'0, and I weigh about 12-15 lbs more than him. Im not overweight but he has naturally very low body fat percentage. I'll tell you that with the right person it just doesn't matter. You will feel beautiful. I used to be insecure about my height as well. Also, I've dated men who were much taller than me and they didn't have huge egos. They're out there, good guys who are tall. And there are plenty of good guys who are 5'10 and shorter and they could make you fee…
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/20 03:18 AM
6

SAME. It's almost like I wish I could do it. I performed well in school and I'm plenty smart enough to do it. It's all the social bs that I actually can't do. It's so weird!! Like I burn out so fast because I just can't operate with all that. I do fine in more "blue collar" environments like retail even. I also worked as an assistant at a veterinary clinic for a year. It was fine. Now I'm content as can be nannying. I make pretty good money too!
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/20 02:42 PM
18

I can't stand this type of thing. I went to work at a financial firm right out of college and I couldn't navigate all the bs and sheer nonsense of this type of stuff. I decided to abandon the corporate world and I've worked in a natural food store, as an an elderly caregiver and nanny ever since. There's something in me where I literally can't function around all the bs like this in the world nowadays. Sticking to work that is still primarily "women's work" is the only way I can survive or else …
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/20 04:54 AM
3

Laura Doyle's books really helped me learn where I end and where my husband begins (boundaries) and how to effectively communicate, even if I don't feel good, am hurt, or also when he is upset with me.
/r/RedPillWives13/12/20 01:46 PM
3

Laura Doyle's books, The Empowered Wife and The Surrendered Wife, really helped me in these areas. Same with Fascinating Womanhood.
/r/RedPillWives13/12/20 01:44 PM
4

I was in your shoes before I hit 25, then I essentially had my "life crisis" and long story short I abandoned everything I had been working towards since 9th grade and decided to do something that I knew would make me feel happy every day: working with animals. So I took a job for $10/hr at a vets office, doing some pretty gross stuff there (lots of cleaning, handling of dead animals, burning them in a crematory oven etc). I am 33 now and my life has not been without periods of depression and an…
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/20 03:50 AM
2

Exactly, well said!
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/20 10:37 PM
17

I agree with this. I did Laura Doyle's ridiculously happy wife program. It saved my marriage and also my self. I didn't realize how much I had to work on. Her intimacy skills.and the journey of how to make yourself happy and respect your husband has literally changed my life.
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/20 10:34 PM
1

Have you read Laura Doyle's books The Surrendered Wife and The Empowered Wife? She has formulated a highly detailed all encompassing set of skills that help you to stop trying to control everything. It has changed my life and changed my marriage. I am the planner (aka control freak) and my husband is the spontaneous one. It was a humongous problem for us until I began implementing the advice in her books.
/r/RedPillWives10/08/20 02:58 AM
2

I hear you. My mom (her daughter) started out RP and then she succumbed to a lot of the feminist stuff and I think she began to feel entitled to my dad like pouring out all his emotions and feelings to her like some woman. It took a big toll on their marriage. I think all the other women in our neighborhood were getting on this bandwagon and "liberating" themselves from their marriages and it affected my mom. My parents didn't divorce but boy did my mom start emasculating him a lot and she shove…
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/20 01:32 AM
3

This is how my grandparents were. When I think of them now I'm like oh my GOSH my nana was such a redpill woman, and my grandpa ADORED her and thought she was just the cat's meow all the way until the end. It's wierd, they actually called each other "mother" and "father." I really don't know where that came from, other than that's what they really loved about each other once they became parents maybe. She saw him as the father of the family, and he saw her as the mother.
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/20 12:07 AM
1

By very liberal, what do you mean?
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/20 11:55 PM
4

This is me as well. I almost feel like I'm having somewhat of a life crisis over it. Luckily I have one friend who is also seeing the light. Other than with her I am really struggling to even have much to say anymore with my other friends. I know they notice at this point. I don't know what to do because I can't agree with so much of what they say so I'm just silent a lot now. I'm not going to push my views on them or anything so I find I just don't have much to connect on anymore.
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/20 11:30 PM
1

Oh awesome good to know!
/r/RedPillWives28/05/20 08:18 PM
2

I second the books listed in other's comments (Laura Doyle's books and Fascinating Womanhood). Also, if you're are really needing some extra help and accountability I have found that doing Laura Doyle's online program has really been helping me. It includes three group coaching sessions a month, with one of her coaches. My husband says I am a changed person. I have never felt so calm. I never thought I could be so at peace with literally nothing outside myself changing, and with me just focusing…
/r/RedPillWives28/05/20 05:40 PM
1

These two books have literally changed my life. I also like Laura Doyle's Kill all the Marriage Counselors.
/r/RedPillWives28/05/20 05:37 PM
2

I agree this is not realistic. This is a lovely list to always be striving for, and to remind oneself that having all these areas locked down is often a lifetimes work. I have a fair amount of this list mastered, and it's taken work, but something I've decided not to beat myself up over is the fact that I wouldn't really be able to financially support myself on my own, and I'm okay with that. So is my husband. I'm primarily a homemaker and it is my career. It adds immense value to my life and to…
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/20 06:08 PM
2

Exactly. That's not doxxing. I live in the US. Anyone can safely say what country they live in.
/r/RedPillWomen22/05/20 01:13 AM
5

Sorry but what country do you live in?? This man assaulted minors. You should be able to get full custody and if not then you need to try harder. If you're in a country lawless enough not to k grant protection to your children then you're in a country lawless enough for you to take measures to enforce the protection of them yourself, using any means, including your father hiring someone to teach your husband a lesson. Sorry to be frank like that, but you need to figure out how to not have your b…
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/20 04:54 PM
–

OMG I love watching Vogue's makeup tutorials on YouTube! I don't even wear makeup! Lol
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/20 11:14 PM
1

What if you thought of God as nature. In that sense you could think of it like this: God commands that in order for a plant to not only survive but thrive and bear fruit or flowers it's needs sun, water, and nutrients. And God commands that in order for a husband and wife to not only survive but thrive, there needs to be a certain dynamic between them. God need not be personified, but can be looked at as the designer/creator of natural laws. We don't have a say in what makes a plant thrive, thos…
/r/RedPillWives06/05/20 01:54 PM
3

I'm reading Laura Doyle's books lately. The biggest take away I'm having is how to value your own desires and express them, so as to NOT issue complaints to your man (emasculates him). So, indulge that desire of yours to want to be a housewife, if that's what you want! I recommend Doyle's book First Kill all the Marriage Counselors and The Surrendered Wife, to get really solid on how to communicate to a man without emasculating him, but also while completely honoring your desires and never becom…
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/20 02:48 PM
6

If he absolutely won't budge about the blinds, would you be able to ask to set aside a monthly amount to save up for a table within the next year? If he won't agree to that, I don't know, but it sounds like there's more to this for him than just wanting to prioritize the blinds right now.
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/20 12:44 AM
1

This is excellent thank you!
/r/RedPillWives21/04/20 07:58 PM
2

Thank you for your reply. I can tend to be a little all or nothing in my thoughts processes (which is something I'm working on) so I think I can be a bit naive even and just take what a self-help expert is saying and believe it as fact, thus my confusion. So, thank you! What you say makes sense.
/r/RedPillWives21/04/20 03:48 PM
5

Okay this is awesome thank you for a great reply!
/r/RedPillWives21/04/20 02:57 PM
2

What were you expecting? Sorry to be blunt but you signed up for and allowed this mess.
/r/RedPillWives21/04/20 01:57 PM
6

If I had found redpill at your age I would rethink this relationship and most likely get out. I found red pill at 30. I wish I had found it earlier. Thank goodness I am now married and can still have the chance to have children. My husband is not perfect at all either (and at times it's work for me to surrender to what I think is faulty leadership) BUT I feel INCREDIBLY cherished and provided for, and I'm with a man who actively looks inward to try to improve upon his flaws over time. Find a dif…
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/20 12:49 AM
2

I agree with this. You can at least give it a try to take the approach of silently and calmly, and without resentment, shifting your focus to your desire, which is to cultivate the locus of your family to be within YOUR own home. Use this challenge to strengthen your feminine power and build up your own home, which means being at home most days, with the occasional outing to see family. It's a noble thing, and if done from a place of love, it will be effective and not viewed as retaliation, self…
/r/RedPillWives13/04/20 01:55 AM
9

I agree. If I don't want my husband to sleep with another woman, or even to want to, then I need to make sure he feels sexually satisfied with me. And I so agree with others on this thread, that this HAS to be with a generous, loving, devoted man. Last year I went through some really difficult things with my family (mother was sick) and my husband just knew that I didn't have a lot to give. He would give me backrubs and just all around was more gentle with me at that time. He didn't take it pers…
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/20 03:11 PM
1

Yes, exactly. He should marry you and have a life insurance policy where you are the beneficiary if he really wants this arrangement to work and be a healthy, loving thing for the both of you. Either that or he should be actively helping you to get a degree, and encouraging you and supporting you with that.
/r/RedPillWomen19/07/19 08:24 PM
5

I agree. I think "supports the family" is actually an alpha trait, to me anyway. I think its really beta when a man doesn't want to make the effort to be a bread-winner and the head of the household in terms of supporting the family (once he commits and marries that is). A man who is content with not supporting a family that he created is really weak in my eyes.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/19 09:23 PM
7

I'd be done with this guy. Will he treat your future children in this cold fashion when and if they are going through a hard time? It would make me concerned about his true abilities to hold a family together during hard times, and whether he truly loves to lead out of love, or whether he just likes to have his way and not be inconvenienced.
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/19 11:31 AM
1

Excellent last point there
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/19 08:05 PM
6

You don't sound ungrateful at all. It sounds like you are in an abusive situation, and you have had very little options to get out of it. You don't have to live feeling this way. This forum isn't necessarily about topics like this, so I think you'll get better help elsewhere. Talk to a social worker in your area, and/or speak to someone at a women's shelter.
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/19 06:13 PM
1

Yep!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/19 01:08 AM
1

Oh lol my bad
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/19 12:01 AM
0

Wait I'm sorry, how am I am troll?
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/19 11:03 PM
2

There ya go :)
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/19 06:58 PM
4

Okay so you have now had an experience with a piece of trash like this. Go back in your mind and analyze the gut feelings you had in the beginning, and imprint that into yourself for good. This will help you vet better in the future. I all but guarantee you actually had some weird gut feelings about this guy in the beginning. The key is to be able to listen to those better the next time. You can't change that it happened, but you can learn from what your body was trying to tell you, which you di…
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/19 06:40 PM
3

If you REALLy want to have a stable future with a decent man and live a quality life with a good marriage, you can do this, but you have to want this more than anything. More than satisfying impulses right now, and more than wanting to run from some of the emotional pain you will have to go through to heal. You are still young. I think that if you really really commit to healing yourself, holding that vision of who you want to be and using that as your guide and goal, you could probably take the…
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/19 03:23 PM
5

Excellent response
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/19 01:20 PM
10

I agree with you OP, it's isolating... I am still trying to navigate socially now that I have changed a lot of viewpoints. Really though I didn't change, I just allowed myself to be me, but that's not very popular these days. What's hardest for me right now is finding women who don't want to just complain about their boyfriends/husbands, or who aren't single and drinking/fucking like they're young men. I'm not very keen on going to a conservative leaning church, but I've started to wonder if tha…
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/19 12:59 PM
1

How long have you two been together? I think that's important. If you two are in the first few months still and you are feeling this way he maybe just hasn't fully committed yet, and not fully opened himself up to you emotionally. Maybe he's not ready, or is having reservations. Have you two both fully expressed loving commitment to each other?
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/19 08:18 PM
3

Wow, I think we are the same person. Very similar situation!! I've dated men who had it more "together" on paper than my current fiancé, but boy did those relationships turn out sour. I told myself that this time I would really try to find someone who has the essence of the type of man I want to be with, regardless of their surface accomplishments necessarily--because some men REALLY are just a nice facade... I found my fiancé, and when I met him he was in some tough circumstances due to having …
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/19 07:13 PM
6

Agreed.
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/19 06:52 PM
3

Yes, this the the main issue I have with the direction it has taken. Like there's more merit in seeing just how much one human being can overload themselrves in every arena of life possible. And if you're doing that you're achieving something. And if you're focusing on one area you are apt to have the word "just" put in front of what you do: "just" a mom. Men don't say "oh I'm just an accountant" if that's what they are primarily doing with the hours in their week. It's like if you are not earni…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/19 01:03 PM
3

Yes, this.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/19 11:49 AM
20

Yes I agree with this. I think this is also part of younger women saying these feminist generations have "ruined" things, because there is not a vast network of sahm's banning together, sharing the load, and naturally knowing how to do it, and being very much supported to be full time moms. I think now it's more isolating because not as many women are doing this anymore. They're still getting other help though (TV, electronics, nannies, daycares) I would just argue it's not as wholesome and heal…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/19 11:45 AM
1

I can only give my experience with a situation like this. I will not end my relationship over it, but I think it's time that it gets worked out a bit with a possibly difficult conversation with my man. So, here is how I feel when he is super affectionate all day every day for weeks or even months on end: pressured. Yeah, it might sound weird. I love the affection. I feel loved and wanted and it does not feel bad. It in itself, his true emotions being displayed, are a wonderful thing to me. But i…
/r/ExRedPill02/04/19 03:17 PM
2

You're awesome, lady :)
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/19 12:50 AM
1

Oh weird i guess so. It was just still open at a tab on my phone from when I started reading it earlier. Lol
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/19 01:07 AM
1

So much agree
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/19 12:31 AM
2

"the placid local kids" lol. I don't know why but this made me laugh out loud
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/19 01:25 AM
2

OMG I need more women like you in my life!!
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/19 07:34 PM
9

I think this a really really great opportunity for you to dig deep and challenge yourself to get into your feminine state of mind, despite the surface circumstances. This man is a gift!
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/19 02:53 PM
6

You say you don't want to struggle to be submissive to him because you bring in more money. That is surrendering to submissiveness to your man on a conditional basis. I would focus first on choosing, regardless of life's changing circumstances, to surrender to your femininity. That way you will be unwaveringly standing firm in your position as surrendered female by your captain's side, allowing him to take a leadership role. It's an energy dynamic, and not something that is necessarily based on …
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/19 02:50 PM
12

If your submission is influenced by money, then this will be a problem. It may not be a problem for him at all, but it will be for you, and you may start to subconsciously put yourself "above" him.
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/19 02:41 PM
8

YES, very much agree with this. You will know with absolute certainty, by a feeling of complete security that you are his and he is committed to you. Even if a guy isn't dating other girls, cheating and the like, he could still go for years even without fully claiming you, and you will feel this and it will be painful. When you have no doubt in your body that he completely wants a future with you, he has fully committed to you and claimed you as his, and you can trust this because you will know …
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/19 02:29 PM
8

Find men who are into shooting or hunting. You're almost guaranteed that they will have some sort of traditional bent to them. Its a good starting place. Or a guy who is or was a police officer or former military, but I'm speaking as a US citizen, so I don't necessarily know if that's as easy to find in Australia? As for specific places where you would find these men, I'd say any events or clubs that involve something to do with guns :)
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/19 04:07 PM
4

That's awesome!!! And because you stayed true to yourself and knew that being a SAHM has LOTS of value, you are with someone who values that too now :)
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/19 08:41 PM
3

You are still in an early enough phase of your relationship that I would suggest you do a really honest evaluation of the character of your man and ask yourself whether you can happily respect and honor him if he were not to change all that much with this issue. If you start out in a pattern of you being more of a leader, because he has more of a passive approach to life, it could be difficult for this to change. It could also be difficult for you to really and truly respect him. The feeling of …
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/19 12:03 AM
4

Thank you!! I love your story! You took your life by the reigns and created an awesome situation by following your heart and being yourself.
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/19 11:40 PM
18

AMEN. I realized this when I turned about 26 and looked ahead at a potential life of finding my man, having kids, raising them in a healthy and fulfilling way, and still working the way I was, and said NOPE. I looked around and didn't see a ton of guys who would be really on board with supporting a SAHM and made the decision that I wouldn't have children unless I can be a SAHM. I got to the point of accepting that I won't have children, which made me kind of sad. So then I made it my goal that I…
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/19 08:47 PM
4

AMEN
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/19 08:39 PM
2

Become familiar with the feeling of being lit up and exited from within--literally "giddy", and then study your days and figure out at what times you feel this way, and from what things and activities that feeling is coming from. My fiancé and I know that I truly LOVE something and am so fulfilled and happy when I light up and my "voice gets as high as the ceiling" with excitement. Haha. Every woman has their own thing that makes them light up inside. This is very attractive to a man, if you hav…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/19 12:41 AM
1

I feel the same way as you. Traditional gender roles work SO WELL for me and my fiancé. I feel more empowered as a woman than I ever have. I absolutely love "working for" my fiancé as opposed to an employer outside the home. I still do occasional per diem overnight nannying, as this is a job I have loyalty to with the family, and I love doing it, but other than that my fiancé supports us entirely. The hardest thing right now is allowing myself to live this way, and not feeling like I have someho…
/r/RedPillWives24/02/19 04:43 PM
4

Excuse my direct language but he is an insecure loser. Ditch this guy, continue to work on loving and honoring yourself. A true captain will lead from his heart, and will commit to you. This does not come without work on your part, but that does not entail enduring emotional abuse. You are singing up for this, so that is why it is happening in your life right now. You will have to find the strength and resolve to know that this is not what you want, because it isn't fulfilling for you. Being in …
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/19 02:31 AM
6

I am a pretty low maintenance girl in the beauty department, so I hear you, but there are really small things you can do that can drastically change your looks. For starters, learn your body and what looks feminine on it, and what makes you FEEL feminine. For me, it's a dress. Even putting on a simple, plain colored cotton jersey dress over leggings can change my entire day. It literally changes my mood and makes me feel pretty, and then I literally act better to my fiance. It goes a long way. S…
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/19 10:36 PM
–

I keep a sponge in the shower at all times. Where the tile ends and the sheetrock begins, at the top of the shower, there is enough of a small "ledge" that I keep the sponge resting up there. That way it completely dries out quite fast, and is handy for use at all times. You can also keep one on the edge of the bath-tub, just make sure it can dry out well by either propping it up or putting it in a soap dish. On to the actual tip... I make all my own cleaning products, and use only natural and o…
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/19 04:16 AM
–

I have had a lot of success with the small personal touches for our home by hitting up Goodwill stores every couple of weeks when trying to decorate a new space. The inventory at the stores changes up quite often, and you can really find some good stuff there if you have a creative eye! I have found some very unique candle vases, decorative bowls/platters, flower vases, mirrors and wall art, etc. It becomes this amazing activity where I'll go and set an intention for a piece or two to "speak" to…
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/19 04:01 AM
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