goodie1663 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	The Divorce Decree is finalized. Is there anything I should be aware of for the QDRO? No taxes for anyone as long as you designate it as a "transfer incident to divorce."	/r/Divorce_Men	30/10/23 09:36 PM
1	The Divorce Decree is finalized. Is there anything I should be aware of for the QDRO? Before you do anything, get the requirements from the institutions because they really, really vary. My attorney recommended delegating writing the order to a local professional because the details were not something he tracked. She was excellent and charged less than my attorney per hour. The first one only required a notarized letter with our account preferences and certified copies of the divorce documents because I already had an account with them. I wrote the letter based on one I found onl…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/10/23 09:33 PM
2	Consultation with attorney next week. What to expect? Keep in mind that divorce doesn't have to be a linear process. You can consult an attorney, then work on some things while you sell the house. Then after the house is sold, retain (i.e. hire) an attorney and get what you couldn't handle between yourselves. She might be happy to get a nice nest egg and a clean break. All your stuff is divided too. If she won't work with you, you might have to push the sale of the house through the legal process. We sold the house and divided our belongings before…	/r/Divorce_Men	29/10/23 01:18 AM
1	Turn of wife's phone Tell her that you need to separate the phones. Hopefully, she will be reasonable about that. Certain information can be snooped about each other by continuing to share the account, so you want that off. You can always request phone records on her side during discovery if you need to. A friend of mine did that the morning before leaving her abusive STBX because he was tracking her movements and calls through their provider. I don't know the details, but that was on her to-do's before taking off. …	/r/Divorce_Men	28/10/23 11:06 PM
1	Ex's lawyer is trying to hold me in contempt for not letting my ex back in the house. It's hard to say what the judge will do without all of the backup material, but likely, they will order that she get her stuff in October. You might ask your attorney to argue that a specific date and time needs to be set. Put her stuff in the garage or some place where she doesn't have to go through the whole house. A friend of mine in a similar situation hired an off-duty police officer working for a security company to be there. The STBX got so flustered that she got her stuff and high-tailed…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/09/23 02:34 AM
1	My lawyer told me today that my case is "a long shot." When I hired her she said that I've good chances and that she would take the case. Her statement kind of shocked me. Should I get a different lawyer? Older attorneys are better for complex cases as long as they aren't burned out and aren't cutting corners ethically. Mine was the son of a judge and had literally seen it all in his four plus decades of practice. He also knew my ex's attorney really well, having gone against him for decades. My ex's attorney was a little younger, and as I found out, both respected and feared my attorney. My attorney worked very hard to keep the upper hand the entire time, and it worked. We settled without a tria…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/09/23 09:31 PM
3	While separated, did anyone shifted their paycheck to their own separate account and just sent portions to the joint account through the month? We closed the joint account and then transferred money to each other when necessary.	/r/Divorce_Men	31/08/23 06:15 PM
3	Mediation In most states, the base calculation of alimony and child support is based on a formula. You should be able to look that up if you don't have an attorney. If she is earning enough to support herself, alimony may be out anyway. It is also based on how long you were married. Keep in mind that sole custody is rare. If she gives it up, that is one thing, but in most states, 50/50 is assumed. Saying you have thoughts about hurting a child doesn't not bar someone from custody. There have to be police …	/r/Divorce_Men	18/08/23 07:33 PM
2	50/50 state work question I can't tell if you've discussed this with an attorney, but you need the particulars with a professional. I was surprised to find out that many of the assumed details of this sort of thing are buried in the case law. I asked a lot of "why" questions and my attorney was very good at short explanations. It also changes over time. A particular case that involved alimony ten years ago might not involve alimony now. And you are right that a nurse can work in jobs that don't require lifting. I know of…	/r/Divorce_Men	14/08/23 03:28 PM
0	Anyone making money? My finances took a nosedive for several years after we separated. I always tended to live more simply than he did and was much more of a shopper, so it was possible to live on far less after he left. I also didn't travel and cut extras wherever I could. From what I knew during the divorce, he didn't cut back at all. I also paid less than he did during the divorce because of the legal team I chose and how I approached it. His attorney actually bragged to mine how he was charging my ex for every l…	/r/Divorce_Men	14/08/23 12:52 PM
1	Health Insurance Coverage? In 95% of the cases, you cannot keep an ex-spouse on your plan. Kids yes, but not your former partner. Check with your attorney as the laws are usually clear on that at the state level. Some divorce agreements require that you continue them on COBRA for a set period or that you pay them a certain amount to get their own insurance through ACA/Obamacare. I'm actually on a type of long-term COBRA because I ended up mostly being self-employed, and it was less than ACA/Obamacare. My ex isn't paying f…	/r/Divorce_Men	14/08/23 12:31 AM
1	Moment of clarity Mmm...I did all that and more for him (mostly a SAHM for 20+ years). But he wanted the single life...	/r/Divorce_Men	14/08/23 12:24 AM