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goolalalash Archive

View 1 post and 62 comments by goolalalash on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I just found a feminist who writes about the awful expectations of men in the work place. She has not yet characterized it as an issue that they are dying, BUT she does explain in quite depth with tons of scientific backing how much bull shit it is that men are not seen as capable of being good/nurturing fathers. And she explains that men report more satisfaction when they spend more time at home with their families! It's not exactly what you were looking for, but it's a start! If you want to re…
/r/MensRights11/09/13 12:19 AM
1

Sorry it has taken so long to respond. :) Thank you for that acknowledgement. I guess the issue lies in my understanding of equality. I don't think legal equality is my end goal. I would love to live in a world where ~50% of the population (women) are not considered a "protected class." From reading stuff in the MRM, it is clear that you all don't think we should be a protected class either. However, until there is a cultural shift where women are actually thought of as equal (not forced to be l…
/r/MensRights10/09/13 05:47 AM
1

I would not judge the "masculinist" movement based on it's name. I would take an interest in the people involved in the movement first. I mean, like I said, I tried to start conversations in a MRM group, whose name might be a little intimidating for a female, but especially a feminist. My goal was never take make you all feminists, just to explain that many women, some feminists included, recognize that the issues MRMs care about are important to us as well. As a woman who does not experience so…
/r/MensRights10/09/13 05:13 AM
1

Feminism is not anti-male. SOME feminists may be anti male. Isn't the name men's rights activist inherently anti woman if we're just looking at the names of movements?
/r/MensRights05/09/13 11:24 PM
1

Well, your justification makes sense. So, I think we just understand disposability differently. The original post was about the disposability of men in Mexico. There are currently hundreds of women being murdered by men in Juarez. Yet, that hardly makes the news. The officials have done nothing to protect the women despite the fact that they know where the women are being abducted, murdered and raped. But two women recently killed male bus drivers because they reportedly raped women on the bus a…
/r/MensRights05/09/13 11:11 PM
1

Also, I'd like to point out that I don't think MRAs are bad people. I have just been insulted enough in this group of MRAs that I have a pretty bad taste in my mouth. Many MRAs think feminists are bad because the ones with the most negative outlook of men tend to be the loudest, but the same can be said for MRAs in this subreddit. I don't know why we can't all agree that shit is pretty fucked up for all people and we all have different ideas about how to fix that. I think feminism solves these i…
/r/MensRights05/09/13 10:46 PM
1

For the record, you can go look through my comment history in this subreddit if you would like. One person in particular told me "I do not want feminists coming here and posting." I don't know how to do all the quoting and shit because I really don't care to find it, but I will copy and paste some more quotes from another thread for you so maybe you can see where I am coming from. "Its for men. Men's rights. I don't know how to dumb this down for you any more than I have." "This. Subreddit. Is. …
/r/MensRights05/09/13 10:35 PM
-9

As a former UIL debater, you should stick to generic cases. Unless your 5A or 4A you probably won't fair well with much else, and even then it is iffy. To be honest, UIL is kind of the laughing stock of most high school debaters who have any sort of success. I mean, it's pretty justified considering they give out two third places. I think that makes it pretty clear it is not all that competitive, nor does it teach good argumentation skills. Most debates lack any sort of warrant or impact. Oh, an…
/r/MensRights04/09/13 06:46 AM
-4

It's also another thing when women are told, "flash some cleavage, he likes to vote for cute girls." "Don't wear pant suits it intimidates male judges." "Your heels must be three inches or higher." "Keep your hair out of your face, it's distracting." "Don't wear too much jewelry." When adopting the "masculine" form of communication, men are not told... "You come off as a bitch." "Don't be so catty." You are probably never the only male on a panel that has more than 3 judges on it. You are likely…
/r/MensRights04/09/13 01:20 AM
-11

Perhaps you haven't been the MRA subreddit where they most certainly do make sweeping claims about how men have it worse than women.
/r/MensRights04/09/13 01:02 AM
1

Nah, actually I don't teach women studies courses. I teach communication. 1) We are not allowed to really talk about politics of that sort. 2) I don't force my opinion down their throats.
/r/MensRights16/07/13 01:13 AM
0

So I have to set a cut off time for reddit, and sadly mine was like 4 hours ago. lol. I am really good at procrastinating my thesis. I will get back to you tomorrow. :)
/r/MensRights15/07/13 03:42 AM
-1

There is a difference, but I just searched the entire post and didn't find the word straw :) Where did you see that?
/r/MensRights15/07/13 03:25 AM
1

I can see where you're coming from with the "don't be that guy" campaign argument. I don't think that is the proper way to do it. I think sex education and explaining to students a multitude of things involved in sexual assault could greatly decrease. For example, it's a well known fact in gender studies that students (not just men) think that individuals in a relationship only need to consent the first time and after that its all good. They often do not think a person can change their mind abou…
/r/MensRights15/07/13 03:08 AM
-6

I'm not going to pretend like feminism has all the answers or that they spend equal amounts of time on all issues. Yes, some issues are more salient to feminism, such as abortion legislation, etc. You should read anything by Jackson Katz or Michael Kimmel. They address how gender norms affect everyone (and mention all of these issues), not just women and they identify as feminists. Actually, Michael Kimmel has a great way of explaining how unfair it is that within a rape culture women are taught…
/r/MensRights15/07/13 03:00 AM
-1

*some feminists.
/r/MensRights15/07/13 02:54 AM
-2

Lol, so you don't want to be a rational adult and realize that maybe you don't know everything about me? Or perhaps that I really do think the issues you all care about should be addressed and solve for? That's really logical considering I have not said a single thing to bash men or MRA, yet you have no logical reasoning for me not be here except that this is a mens rights group and you think all feminists hate men and mens rights groups...makes sense. I don't really down vote unless people act …
/r/MensRights15/07/13 02:54 AM
-2

Look, maybe you should read all my posts. I recognize that men and women are raped and that women can be aggressors. In fact, I hope to write my dissertation about male rape in prisons. I don't know why you have to make it a competition of who gets raped the most. I don't get offended easily, but I will admit that this topic is very personal for me, as I have mentioned previously. Like I said, many authors explain that rape culture is just as harmful to men as women. I mean, it has to suck that …
/r/MensRights15/07/13 02:44 AM
0

Don't take this the wrong way, but it seems like when gender roles affect men you want to take action. On the other hand, you seem less encouraged to take action when gender roles affect women. I'm not saying this is true, it's just the vibe I get. If that is the case, it's fine. I like to think I can solve any problem for anyone with enough effort, but I'm learning that's not true. However, I hope you can see how gender roles that affect women negatively also generally affect men negatively in …
/r/MensRights15/07/13 02:33 AM
-1

You're awesome. You see, there are many male feminists because they know many women and want to help them out too. :) I am going to say this, but please understand that this does not mean I am against MRA. I identify with feminism because it is literally what taught me that I wasn't alone in a very dark time. It empowered me to become active in my community and educate people about many issues that I'm sure you all would agree need to be addressed. Sometimes, different groups of people organize …
/r/MensRights15/07/13 02:27 AM
-4

I have two dogs. One loves to shit in the floor the other one sheds too much, but I have kept the cat away for your sake. I'm an active feminist, and I assure I understand the urge to be hostile. It has taken a lot for me to curb back my confrontational nature, not just in feminism, but life in general. I've debated (high school and college) for 10 years, so I recognize how hostility can really impede productive debates. No worries man :) I am kind of used to the hostility, which is why I only p…
/r/MensRights15/07/13 02:21 AM
-1

Okay, I see where you're coming from. Maybe I didn't make it clear enough, but I can completely understand why you all are wary of feminists. I have heard and seen many of the things that the r/feminism does when a single person politely dissents. I also see how some of the most prominent feminists do not always accurately represent me or my understanding of feminism. Once again, I am not here to "infiltrate" or to try and convince you all that you should be feminists. I promise. :) You're right…
/r/MensRights15/07/13 01:50 AM
-2

Once again, you're assuming I keep my mouth shut when I hear other "feminists" categorize men poorly. Sadly, I can't really prove it to you on reddit other than through anecdotal stories. I don't consent to this hate. But it seems that your hatred for feminists is not different than their some of their hatred for you.
/r/MensRights15/07/13 01:41 AM
-3

While I believe that patriarchy and rape culture are problems that exist, they did not start with a conclusion. In fact, when I was taught about rape culture, and other theories like it, I was astounded. I couldn't believe it. So, I started looking through my schools databases and discovered tons of research about it. By research, I don't mean opinion polls and op-ed columns, I mean generalizable, verifiable, and reliable research. Also, while tons of research has been done to develop the theory…
/r/MensRights15/07/13 01:40 AM
-2

We don't teach them math, we simply teach them that they can enter math and science fields as well. That is uniquely important considering these are fields still largely dominated by men. No, society doesn't have problems with tomboys, never said they did. There is less stigma towards women who want to dress like men, than men who want to dress like women, which is fucked up. Men should be free to express their gender identity too. I think it's a little hasty to assume that men are just ATM's. I…
/r/MensRights15/07/13 01:33 AM
-3

I would like to not only "give you some time" but also offer my sincere support. The issues that concern you all concern me too. But it's awfully disheartening to know that while I support you all, I am often categorized as a heinous bitch by many people in this group. As someone who has a minor in women studies and about to have a masters in it, I have taken many women studies courses. On our campus, many people take it who bring up issues much like you all talk about in here. Only one time in …
/r/MensRights15/07/13 01:28 AM
-2

Awesome, I like the way you think. Here is how we differ. I don't think feminism is bad, nor do I think MRA is bad. I simply think we have been pitted against each other for no real reason. Most of us don't think that non-feminists (idk what to call them, not trying to make it sound like us them mentality) are sexist. At least for myself and the feminists I surround myself with, we don't think that people who don't call themselves feminists are bad people or sexist. Most of my guy friends are no…
/r/MensRights15/07/13 01:24 AM
-7

So, like I said, we could have productive conversation, but you'd rather talk shit to me. Thank you proving my point despite the fact that I have poor sentence structure and didn't use the enter key enough. My keyboard is crapping out and my cat keeps walking all over it, so I'm sorry that all offended you. However, I'm still not sure how the fuck anything you said gets you anywhere. Did you not read the part where I said feminism doesn't have to be a solution for you? I'm not here to shove femi…
/r/MensRights15/07/13 01:18 AM
-2

Cool. You don't think we're all crazy. That is a start. I don't really like to come here to talk about feminism, but I have to because as a feminist who believes many of the issues you all are concerned with need to be solved I can't seem to find many posts about actual solutions. While I do love some kumbaya, I'm more of the active type. I'd rather figure out solutions to problems, but thanks anyways. I try to bridge the gap, but this subreddit, as you recognize, doesn't really do much of that.…
/r/MensRights15/07/13 01:12 AM
3

So, how is she critiquing a group she comes from?
/r/MensRights15/07/13 01:08 AM
-4

I mean, I think it's pretty good when people question any system. Sadly, I just think it's pathetic how this subreddit seems to spend more time trying to get people to question feminism rather than talking about solutions to fixing the problems you all agree exist...many problems that feminists have agreed exist for a long time. BUT, as many times as I try to start those conversations, I get shut down or am forced to waste my time proving to people that I'm not just a liar. I'm not really sure h…
/r/MensRights15/07/13 01:07 AM
-2

so, while you recognize these posts do nothing for MRA's you also agree with the mentality behind this post...that all feminists are crazy and modern feminism is a gong show? Or are you open to conversation with feminists so that you can maybe see we are not all that different and could try and work together to end the fucked up gender norms that cause problems for both sides of the fence?
/r/MensRights15/07/13 12:58 AM
-4

First, this post mentions nothing about mens rights. All it does is create more false stereotypes about an entire category of people, who really don't fit the mold portrayed by this woman. Only people who are aware of or already are MRA's will recognize this as a post that has some MRA undertones (in that it only talks shit about feminism).
/r/MensRights15/07/13 12:56 AM
-11

Both of you are misguided in your understanding of feminism. We often do work to educate young women about their ability to do things they are generally socialized to believe they can't do. For example, there is a thing called an "Mrs. Degree." It's a phenomena that happens to young women who go to school, want to get their education then meet a man and decide to quit school because he is graduating and found a job or is continuing his education else where. In fact, a student in my class came in…
/r/MensRights15/07/13 12:52 AM
3

This comes from the assumption that all feminists are women. She doesn't identify as a feminist so she isn't really talking about her own group.
/r/MensRights15/07/13 12:47 AM
-6

Interesting, considering her entire post places her in competition or against feminists. It's not about competing with groups you disagree with, it's about generating discussion that actually leads to some sort of bridge. At the end of the day, we all tend to agree on something. We all seem to agree that gender norms harm all of us. Let's stop competing with groups we don't like (in this instance for many generalized and faulty assumptions) and start working together to recognize ways in which w…
/r/MensRights15/07/13 12:46 AM
3

So, I do all of these things you asked about. While, I may not necessarily ostracize people within in feminism who don't do things like me, I definitely distance myself from them after explaining why I disagree. If I had to categorize all MRA's I would say just about the same things about you all that you say about feminism, but I recognize that's not fair. Your mentality seems to assume that you do no wrong in this fight between men and women that you all so often love to instigate and reify.
/r/MensRights15/07/13 12:43 AM
-2

Read the comment below first, I'm wordy. Sorry. ;) 4) "They trivialize rape by broadening it’s definition into the grounds of consensual sex." Umm, this one is especially egregious. This is my area of study. I have definitely read more lit on this than most people and have presented several papers on this very topic at conferences. I am currently working on my thesis that is about rape and sexual assault and have another independent study going outside of my thesis about it. Not once have I ever…
/r/MensRights15/07/13 12:40 AM
-1

So I have been posting around here randomly for a few months now. Most of you have agreed that I am not anything like what this describes, yet as someone who identifies as a feminist, these posts still place me in these awful stereotypes. I assure you I am not the exception to the rule. Most feminists are like me, but as I have said many times in here, the loudest feminists often give us a poor image. Therefore, I am going to go ahead and call you all out. Posts like these give you just as poor …
/r/MensRights15/07/13 12:39 AM
1

Yea. I think too often, in all sorts of forums, the kids are simply forgotten.
/r/MensRights12/06/13 02:54 PM
4

I also admit that men are at a disadvantage in custody battles. However, I just posted this in here to show how the idea of single parenting and custody is a double bind that negatively affects women and men. :)
/r/MensRights11/06/13 06:33 PM
2

Yea, sorry. I'm at work so I didn't have time to go through and check. I don't say this to say women are victims of misogyny because I think all people are victims in the long run. :) Not to mention, I don't follow r/feminism despite the fact that I am a feminist because I have found that the thread doesn't exactly always align with the way I would communicate. Although I may see things similarly to the people who post in there, I find it to be hostile sometimes.
/r/MensRights11/06/13 06:32 PM
2

"Greater social stigma against male depression and a lack of social networks of support and help with depression are often identified as key reasons for men's disproportionately higher level of suicides, since suicide as a "cry for help" is not seen by men as an equally viable option." This seems to indicate that gender roles make it much harder for men to talk about depression. I suspect the reason it's harder for men to talk about these things is because our society would likely view that as e…
/r/MensRights25/02/13 12:38 AM
1

It's okay if they do discolor my opinion. As a feminist, or as I think I might start saying after more research gender egalitarianist, I am used to this sort of "argument." You can't "win" them all. And I say that lightly because I am not here to "win" you all over. Like I said, I would just like to bridge the gap. Hatred gets us nowhere and is the very mentality that has lead to the oppression of all people, not just men or women. I refuse to fight hatred with hatred. It's a part of life. I hig…
/r/MensRights10/02/13 06:59 PM
0

Well, okay. :) I'm sure I could get along with you. It seems that your responses to me are similar to the responses you hate about feminism. As I said, to each their own.
/r/MensRights10/02/13 06:39 PM
0

maybe this will help you see that I'm not against mra. MRA issues
/r/MensRights10/02/13 06:03 PM
5

I hate that you feel this way. I am not on "your side." As I have said before, this us them dichotomy gets us nowhere. If you don't want to have a conversation, so be it. However, I will say it's disheartening that you have accepted essentialism and honestly think that I am the generalized image of a feminist without having a conversation to see where I stand on issues that are important to you (and most likely to me) before making these sorts of judgements. To each their own.
/r/MensRights10/02/13 05:44 PM
2

I'm sorry you have this image of feminism. As I mentioned in a comment above, I genuinely hope that we can have conversations about this. I have a much different understanding of feminism than you which is okay. I do think that feminism has become political, but I do not think it stands for genocide, eugenics and thought control. Although, I will agree, I do see why this perception has been given off, this really isn't what feminism is...AT LEAST from my perception.
/r/MensRights10/02/13 03:14 PM
2

So, let's have a conversation. :) If you look at the Alabama consent link in r/mensrights you will see that I am a "level-headed" feminist as someone has described me. I totally understand why we have a bad image and it saddens me. The image that some of the most powerful feminists have given us as a whole is disheartening. It would be great if people who think that we are really as this picture suggests could just ask questions, say what they think and let me respond. I promise I won't go "femi…
/r/MensRights10/02/13 02:53 PM
2

"A rape culture is a place in which sex and violence are seen as inseparable, natural and inevitable. These types of cultures often believe in "rape myths." For example, most women are taught not to walk alone at night. We generally have images in our minds of some deranged man lurking in allies waiting for a weak and unsuspecting female to pass by. However, an overwhelming amount of sexual assaults are committed by an acquaintance, spouse, partner, etc. These myths also do not include myths abo…
/r/MensRights07/02/13 03:27 AM
3

lol brown...for very obvious reasons. :)
/r/MensRights06/02/13 10:14 PM
3

This sort of "gender issue" pisses me off. It's really frustrating to me that we have a ton of publicity for breast cancer awareness, but people don't know that men can also get it. Not to mention that colon cancer kills just as many men as breast cancer. I don't think the breast cancer awareness is bad, but I don't understand why it is so important. It seems to be more of a band wagon now than an actual movement. :) We should start a colon cancer movement!
/r/MensRights06/02/13 09:28 PM
2

lol, I forgot to post the link. :) here!
/r/MensRights06/02/13 04:56 PM
2

Thanks for being welcoming. :) It's weird because when I came to this reddit I thought you all would be enemies, but the more I read the clearer it was that only our labels make us seem like enemies. [The last paragraph here explains rape culture]. This is obviously a condensed version and I can expand/bring in sources if you are interested. :)
/r/MensRights06/02/13 04:45 PM
2

That doesn't make sense if you knew that bringing up rape culture would make your allegiances clear. No, instead you wanted to preface your post by positing that you are one of the "good" feminists (like we've never heard that before) in attempt to give feminism as a whole, and whatever other stuff you are about to type, a better image. I think you're assuming things about me because of other feminists who may have posted in this group. If you would take this discussion as a productive conversat…
/r/MensRights06/02/13 10:14 AM
2

also, this may help you see that I am not a feminazi. [This is a response to the issues listed as important to this group] (http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/15p91b/can_we_try_to_focus_on_mens_rights_not_i_hate/c89v0do) I'm sure that is not a complete list, so if you can add more let me know. :)
/r/MensRights06/02/13 12:37 AM
4

I think being open minded and understanding that because I identify as a feminist does not mean I am against you all. Although there have been some disheartening comments made in this subreddit, I also think this is a safe space for you all to voice your concerns, just as my feminist spaces are safe for me. I also do not think you all are a bunch of woman-hating men, and hope that you all can understand that a few feminists do not define us all. More specifically, as far as consent/rape/rape cul…
/r/MensRights06/02/13 12:32 AM
5

I pointed out that I was a feminist because I knew using words, such as rape culture, would make that clear. I call myself a feminist because I believe that gender roles in our society have lead to lasting impacts for men, women and everything in between. Unfortunately, feminists have a bad perception because of mischaracterizations and radicals who have misrepresented what the majority of feminists stand for. I am not sure what I said that would make you think that I am a feminazi, maybe you co…
/r/MensRights06/02/13 12:26 AM
6

I agree. :)
/r/MensRights05/02/13 10:29 PM
1

I understand your point. However, I understand that there are dictionary definitions that clearly provide a stable definition. Perhaps I should have said, there is a lack of understanding. Yes, according to the law there are stable definitions BUT studies have clearly shown that people do not understand and see it as dependent on the situation and context.
/r/MensRights05/02/13 09:11 PM
6

Wow, so here is the deal. First, I will admit I'm a feminist, but I have been reading MensRights for a few months now and I don't disagree with you all that much. ;) Except for some of the fem jokes that mischaracterize how I view feminism. I will say that is due to the perception we have gained because of a few radicals, and I hope that posting around in here I can help create dialogue. You all have valid concerns, and from what I can tell, in my personal philosophy of feminism, I think we coul…
/r/MensRights05/02/13 07:22 PM
3

Hi absolutekraze! I really appreciate you responding to this question. As a feminist (don't hate, just read...I think you'll be surprised), I cannot say that I disagree with any of your points. While I also agree with the things that neutral 1 said, I have a different perspective. First, I should say that I am honestly a feminist who does believe that (at least my feminist philosophy) both men and women are oppressed. I think society needs to change and that both sides are at an equal disadvanta…
/r/MensRights05/02/13 06:51 PM
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