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gothic20s Archive

View 3 posts and 23 comments by gothic20s on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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7

Read it ASAP. Your life will not be the same. But you do have to put in the work in order to change your behavior. Also, you might want to read it every once and awhile. It’s now once and done type of book.
/r/seduction28/10/20 12:22 AM
1

I am glad that you were able to turn it around in your marriage. I think I need to do that too and starting to take care of her savings and income. The thing about money is that one time, she asked me for money because she was not working. I happily helped her and got money from the ATM. Then at night, I found her crying. I asked her why, she said she felt shame that she doesn't have an income and that she asked me for money. I guess that my wife has an extreme case that she feels bad when she n…
/r/RPChristians04/10/20 02:57 AM
1

Yeah, you are right. Controlling things has helped her ease her anxiety considering that her life is more "predictable." And to be honest, I praised her for it too in the beginning because I admired that she is dedicated to the things she likes. Over time, it's been hard to live together cause it's overbearing. She realizes that too but like i said, nothing changes. Also she has gone to therapy twice in her life. The first time as a teenage, she lasted like 2 sessions. The second time, lasted ab…
/r/RPChristians04/10/20 02:42 AM
3

Thank you! Frankly, I've gotten a lot more comfortable with conflict. I am more calm and I can actually be kind to her even when shit hits the fan. I am more articulate now and I do not avoid conflict like I used to before. One thing I am wondering about is what do you do when your wife keeps disrespecting you and keeps pushing your boundaries and it's like she isn't getting the memo that her behavior isn't going to make me cave. This has been going on for 6-7 months. I am getting kind of over i…
/r/RPChristians02/10/20 08:01 PM
2

Her vows were encouraging and meaningful. The word “respect” was mentioned but I doubt if she sees respect the way you and I see it. Or if she does see it the same way, but chooses not to respect. I can’t really tell. I do agree with what you said that she will probably benefit from a change on the inside out. I can see she has an inner struggle and like others mentioned, it could be because financially, I am not capable to provide well for her. I like what you said by outcome independence. To b…
/r/RPChristians02/10/20 11:22 AM
2

I would like to say that your analysis to the situation is spot on. I agree with you that the woman’s logic is what is happening right now rather than thinking that she is working now, but as I advance in my career, we will have a better life together. To be honest with you, her pay is pretty low. I pay for our rent and bills from my loans. She can barely get the food and I end up using my loans for that too when I take her on dates. I also know that she would not contribute financially without …
/r/RPChristians02/10/20 11:10 AM
1

To answer your last point, I agree with what you said. People need to see something in you that is worthy of respect before they can respect you. Just one question, how far would you go to show someone you are worthy of respect and keep enduring their disrespect? Cause I am getting to the point that I am losing my love for my dear wife for the constant disrespect that she's shown me. To answer your second point, you have a very valid point. I agree that in order for people to believe you and bel…
/r/RPChristians02/10/20 07:05 AM
2

superdrolic The few times that she was open with me about why she fights so hard to be in control, is when she said that because she grew up with a parent who struggled with alcohol and depression, she had to be in charge of things to take care of her siblings at home. In her family's house, she was the boss. Everyone does what she wants. She is the parent and she wants to bring that to our marriage. I did not see how bad this issue was until we were married. One thing I have to mention is that …
/r/RPChristians02/10/20 06:43 AM
0

I definitely agree with you. There is always something to improve and change. In the past year, I felt that I have never worked hard my whole life whether it was personal (self-improvement), career wise, or my marriage. She on the other hand, is still fighting me to be in charge of things. And I don't mind the fight, it's just that she doesn't see that it's destroying our marriage and my attraction for her. I even do not enjoy being with her as much anymore. It's hard for me to admit this cause …
/r/RPChristians02/10/20 06:35 AM
1

Thank you for sharing about your experience! It's really brave of you to put in the work and face the things that challenge you. I listened to the link you sent me and it's really true.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/20 06:00 AM
1

You are right. It's why I really stopped trying to get her to read these books. I actually believe that If I don't like something in my marriage, I need to change something in me to improve myself and make it better. It's just that how far do you go and how long do you wait your partner to trust and respect you before you decide that you are done? I still love her a lot and I want us to stay together. I married her thinking it's for life. I just cannot imagine staying with a partner who does not…
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/20 05:53 AM
2

You are right. I have told her before without therapy, I think we will get divorced. She probably knows that too. She agreed before that without significant change, we can't survive. But still she does not change much. I actually sometimes feel that she just thinks I need to change and become the "perfect" husband before she can start to trust me. ​ Also I understand change comes from the person. I do not expect her to change. I look at myself in the mirror and think what I need to change in mys…
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/20 05:46 AM
1

This sounds like identical to my wife's experience. My wife struggles with anxiety and depression. The thing is she is too resistant to any book that I suggest. How did you realize that you need to do some work before you can let go of control?
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/20 05:27 AM
1

What you said is spot on. Now, she went to get therapy and stopped after 1 month even though it was helpful for her. I know she has anxiety and depression, and therapy digs deep into these issues so she stops get it gets too much for her. Vulnerability is the last thing she wants to do and therapy wouldn't work without it. To be honest, she is better at discussing issues in our marriage now, but still, she avoids them as much as possible.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/20 05:21 AM
0

Yeah. Communication is hard in my marriage. I have done some reading and realized that she is Fearful Avoidant. So any conversations about intimacy, sex, or the marriage itself ends up causing her to shut down.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/20 05:09 AM
1

My wife wants to stay committed and married to me. But when we disagree, she threatens with divorce. I used to feel super worried and anxious when that happens. Until recently, I clearly told her if divorce is what she wants, I will grant her that. She stopped talking to me for 2 days, then came back apologizing. The thing is, It's a cycle. She does not stop controlling things even when we both have seen how things end up going. You are right though. I wanted her to read this book but she wouldn…
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/20 05:05 AM
1

Just to add, one of her parents was an alcoholic. She had to take over and manage their home life. Now in our marriage, it's so damaging as she wants her way in everything.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/20 04:58 AM
0

You are right. We are stuck in a power struggle. I feel like she is always fighting to have more power in our marriage. Talking leads nowhere. She ends up avoiding the conversations and close off. I end up feeling more frustrated. The Red Pill taught me to act rather than talk. It's improved and we fight less now. We are closer than before. But her resistance is worse now as I am more assertive and less yielding when I think the decisions are best for our marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/20 04:56 AM
13

Definitely. Not just compliments and confidence, but also help each other and support each other to succeed rather than compete with each other. Competition is natural for us, but we have to learn to help other men too.
/r/seduction28/09/20 02:37 AM
3

Thank you brother! I needed this. I have been feeling down going through the NMMNG book and I just feel overwhelmed with how much I need to grow and work on myself to be the man that God had created me to be.
/r/RPChristians26/07/20 10:07 PM
1

OP you put it in words really well. Nicely done lol. I’m like you, just want to improve my overall attraction and be able to keep my gf interested in me physically and emotionally.
/r/seduction24/03/19 09:45 PM
2

Thank you for your encouraging words. I have never thought about it that way because to me, after knowing Christ, I could never go back to the way it was before. I’ve always considered it to be a total loss but you’re definitely right. Thank you sir!
/r/RPChristians20/11/18 05:24 AM
3

Never kissed a girl until age 23. Trust me. It’s not an issue. I wasn’t a Christian and now I wish I could go back to make sure I date a woman who’s worthy of my time and energy. You’re in a much better position than I was. You’re a Christian. Focus on your faith first and foremost. Focus on your schooling and family. You will meet amazing women in a strong mentality like the one you’ll have if you just focused on Christ. If you like podcasts, then listen to this one called “The Porch.” I don’t …
/r/RPChristians19/11/18 06:24 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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