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gravesearcher Archive

View 0 posts and 82 comments by gravesearcher on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
18

Because we're trophies and status symbols for them to use to impress other men, they're beyond obsessed with sex, and we're supposed to be their house slaves so they need us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 03:07 AM
14

Because there are enough young pick-mes who go for it for whatever reason. There are enough of them that it keeps the men going and trying. The sad pathetic low value ones see people like my ex-husband and think if he can get someone then I definitely can! So they go for it and keep trying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 05:11 AM
1

Before I knew anything about the case, I was watching a clip on youtube of this guy lying to police about being an ex-cop and also what he did to his neighbors: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGxxRLuGRzc The Gabby Petito traffic stop video automatically came up next. It was pretty eye-opening to see her boyfriend acting the exact same way the liar in the "ex-cop" video did. The only difference was the reactions from the cops to the liars. The cop in the Petito video was fawning over her boyfrie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 02:28 PM
43

Habitual lying and not holding down a job! ​ I am so grateful to the ladies who post things like this because it's really helped me see things and work through them this year.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 01:36 PM
19

It affects how women view themselves - how they look, how they "perform" in bed, how they measure up to how other women look because the women he looks at don't look like his partner. That takes a huge emotional and mental toll. You can't ever feel really comfortable with yourself, with sex, and with your partner so you can't relax to enjoy the experiences for yourself. You're in your head worrying about what he's really thinking about (who he wishes he could be with), worrying about all the hum…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 09:25 PM
54

The two most prevalent ideas I've seen in women like this are 1) They get an ego boost from thinking they are so "great" and "special" they lured a man away from his family. Sometimes it's extreme and sick that it's like a game where they can score against other women. They need to feel like they're better than someone else. 2) They are deluded thinking this is the truest, most special love ever. And the wife? Oh, he didn't really love his wife and that evil, mean harpy didn't love or appreciate…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 03:54 PM
85

I was just talking about this last month when I found out someone I knew from college died. All these people were talking about what a great guy he was, but I had met his second ex-wife years ago and her experience was very different. If anyone googled him, what they'd find is evidence that supports her - his arrest record, stalking and abuse charges, and other things. None of these people really know him. They know a mask of his that he shows them even if they've "known him for years." She knew…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 11:54 PM
12

Same! Sometimes I go out of my way not to look at someone when I can see them trying to get my attention out of the corner of my eye. They'll keep slowly inching to get into my direct line of sight and somehow they never are! It's almost like Ron Swanson and his circular desk. ​ Right before the lockdown and before masks were a thing last year, I was pretty nervous going to the store so I was trying to get in and out as fast as possible with the least amount of interaction with people. I was sta…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 03:53 PM
7

Keeping a journal is #1! That has helped me to see patterns of his behavior and it's helped me see how much he hasn't changed at all when he tries to butt back into my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 12:58 PM
6

In what I used to call the "bad periods" that I now know are part of the cycle of abuse, my ex would always accuse me of things in his constant agitated state. He would ascribe whatever was the worst motive or most unflattering inner thoughts to me or my actions so that he could yell at me or say hateful things to me. None of what he ever accused me of was true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 12:55 PM
12

I want to give you a hug too! I'm so sorry. I had similar things happen to me. I would be laying there crying next to him while he happily snored away. It would sometimes floor me how easily he could fall asleep at night especially after a day of being a monster. He would get angry with me and accuse me of purposely not letting him sleep if I wanted to talk to him at night. But hey, when he wanted to go out drinking with his 20 year old sidepiece and stay out all night - cool!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 12:50 PM
13

I just want to thank the ladies who post stuff like this from the bottom of my heart because you all have helped me see and work through abuse for the first time in my life. Sometimes when you read things on a therapy site, it doesn't click because of their wording or their descriptions are too vague so it's easy to say "That's not my situation." The posts here have had practical descriptions that I've been able to see my life in. Sharing personal stories also helps because when you see other pe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 12:47 PM
20

On the infidelity sub - men basically admit they cheat with easy, low effort, stupid & low value women who have low morale too. Cheating experts, counselors, and psychologists call that "Affairing Down." I've mentioned it on here before but former sidepieces felt ruffled. Sorry, it's true! Usually, cheaters cheat with someone who they feel is worse than them in some way because they need to feel like they're the catch. Someone who knowingly cheats with a married/partnered person is already a ste…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 10:50 AM
31

The lies are always news to the cheated on partner too and often they're a complete reversal of reality. "It's like we're roommates" - This is said after months/years of regular sex and being a loving couple. It could even be said hours after having sex and talking about how much you love each other. "We've been over for years" - Again, said after months/years of being a loving, happy couple. You were talking about future plans, holding hands, saying I love hours earlier? Stupid you, didn't you …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 06:02 AM
271

Wow. So he just told her she comes second to his friend because he's know the friend longer. What a piece of dump. She's your WIFE! She should come first. The man knows better. He just doesn't want to create boundaries because he wants something to happen now that his friend confessed. He's actively walking down the path of an affair or leaving her for the friend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 02:50 PM
23

This reminds me of a tiktok I saw the other day. Some guy filmed his wife angrily walking by with the laundry she asked him to do 45 minutes ago. He started lip syncing to a song about having a beer. None of the women who saw it found it funny or charming, in fact they commented to tell him he was headed for a divorce and needed to do better. Pair that with the quote from Will Smith someone posted on here a few days ago about how men laugh at how poorly they treat women and the post about the gu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 02:42 PM
189

I wish all of the teams would come forward to openly support them and protest. What would they do if ALL the teams fought back? I wish there was a bigger backlash against them where people expose the names of those who did this. People get found and cancelled over other things so why is nothing happening here?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 11:03 PM
4

That's because his last question "I am a woman" is 27.5% and he's assuming they're all voting for "do more work" and who cares what women think. They're wrong!/s He only wants to hear men's opinions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 08:23 PM
5

I just want to tell you how sorry I am for you. You sound a lot like me (I have hashis too and am being monitored for lupus!) I too was afraid of being on my own and I didn't want my life to change either. But I want you to know that life gets better without them. It's scary and hard at first, but soon it will surpass what you had. Trust me. Sending love and hugs to you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 12:03 AM
17

Thanks. I also feel bad for the people in the car directly in front of him. That had to be terrifying to look in their mirror to see another car coming at them full speed only to have him stop inches away or that poor person who he swerved to miss.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 03:41 PM
43

This traumatized me: My ex used be a good and safe driver. Over the years he started driving like a crazy teenage boy. It was pretty scary. There is a highway interchange in our city that is always backed up. People here cannot seem to figure out how to navigate it so traffic is usually completely stopped. My ex would drive full speed at the stopped cars in front of us and then slam on his breaks to stop just short of the car in front of us. When I would react, he would scream at me for distract…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 03:13 PM
5

Interesting how no one his own age is fun or intelligent. He's the guy who approaches young women at their jobs to tell them shitty jokes and feels like he still has it because they politely laugh and only roll their eyes when he's not looking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 02:44 PM
121

Holy shit! I had something very similar happen to me! I was moving out (moving a heavy box of antique glassware and mugs) when my ex wound up and punched, stopping just barely touching the bridge of my nose so that he didn't actually punch me. Then he kicked my box and broke a bunch of the glasses and mugs. When I said you almost punched me in the face, his response was "I wasn't really going to do it so I don't consider it 'almost punching you in the face.' "
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 08:44 PM
20

I'm so sorry! What a shithead! I can't believe anyone would want to audition as a girlfriend. That's pathetic on both their parts. I'm glad you're free of him now! I was the wife in this too and a prospective whatever. Some of my married male friends who I've known since college both started messaging me when my divorce was finalized. They were giving me the old "boo hoo my wife doesn't pay attention to me or appreciate me" routine. Even if I hadn't just gone through that myself, I still wouldn'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 03:58 PM
23

I think it’s so important to teach boys that the health of their relationship is half of their responsibility; it’s not just the woman’s; ^^^^THIS^^^^ What always gets me is when you try to bring this up, they have toddler tantrums. They hear women asking for the bare minimum of being a decent partner and they act like they're being asked to cater completely to women at their own expense like they're a servant while getting nothing in return and they'll scream "WhAt iS sHe BrInGiNg tO tHe TaBlE?…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 12:29 PM
34

I even find it somewhat suspect when they confide in someone they have an established long-term close friendship with because they still could be fishing for her, but that scenario is easier to swallow than him going to any other woman. I don't care how long he's "known" a female coworker or if she's supposedly married - just no! Coworkers are the most suspect group since they make up the largest percentage of cheating partners for a reason. Coworkers get that false sense of familiarity being ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 06:37 AM
131

-Married men you are not related to or have a long-term, totally platonic close friendship with who cry to you about their supposedly terrible marriages and wives. You are most likely a cheating/future dating prospect to him and most likely everything he's saying isn't true and he's pretending to be this poor guy. This goes double if he's a coworker and triple if you're young and he's twice your age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 03:32 AM
37

"On this post you’re pitying this woman based on what he told you. But behind closed doors I can guarantee you he’d be snot nosed crying if she threatened to leave him. He married her because she’s the best he can do. She’s probably a lovely devoted person and he knows no one else will love him like that***.*** He also gets to create this narrative that he’s some how better than her because he used to call her unattractive behind her back…Now the “female friends” in his life are all looking down…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 02:48 PM
29

This is my NVex. He loves saying he just gets along with girls better, prefers having female friends, and will spout off feminist platitudes. The truth is, he thinks it makes him look desirable and special to be the only man in a group of girls. He called it "being king of the pride" because he's getting the attention of girls he normally shouldn't over other men. It's disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 10:22 PM
3

That is actually worse than someone who does nothing! You're still doing all the work, but now you have this burden following you around demanding praise for.....doing nothing. I'm almost thinking that is some shitty gaslighting on his part. He holds up a dirty glass and says "I cleaned this for you!" WTF
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 09:27 PM
24

That and crying about not getting credit for the little things they do. They'll list them off to prove they do just as much work, as if changing the air filter for 2 minutes every month or so and paying attention to when the cars need an oil change is the same as doing the dishes and laundry everyday. Any task they do on a somewhat consistent basis is a miscarriage of justice proving they do 'everything." He takes the trash out 51% of the time?! Whoa! What an oppressed man!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 08:14 PM
75

Forgive my young stupidity in choosing him: - He would lie about weird little things all the time but then he would sprinkle in bad truths about himself which made him seem honest when it counted and as though he held himself accountable. The bad truths were still lies. Nearly everyone in his life recognizes that he lies to a certain degree but everyone blows it off as typical exaggeration (like I caught a fish this big!) but many people don't realize the actual extent of his lying. I know the n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 03:52 PM
18

That's hilarious! It's all just posing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 02:00 PM
14

I prefer fish photos to the hideous and douchey motorcycle photos. Nearly every guy in my age group has at least one of them sitting on a motorcycle as if that makes him look so cool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 12:32 PM
17

That is great! I don't get women of any age who want age gaps. I couldn't fathom being in my 20s and being with a man who complains about his knees and has the same humor and perspective of my parents. Or women my age who get chased by 60 year olds. What kind of person wants to throw the rest of their young life away so she can spend time eating soup with and putting bengay on pawpaw's back? They'll hide behind the likes of George Clooney and Brad Pitt saying men age well. No, sir, you are Randy…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 11:10 PM
20

"How can they not see the irony" They really don't want to see it. Here's the thing, all people are allowed to want whatever they want no matter how unreasonable or impossible. That doesn't mean they'll get it or that they "deserve" it or that it's above criticism. But everyone is allowed to have preferences. Where they go wrong is: 1) They think their preferences and standards are above any criticism whatsoever. They get to criticize women's preferences, call them unreasonable or too high, tell…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 06:11 PM
54

"why should men like these choose a 40 year old over a young and pretty 25 year old" That projection there! Just because their low-value selves do or would do that doesn't mean high value men would want that. In fact, someone who is high value wouldn't! They would want someone their own age no matter what age group they're in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 02:28 PM
12

In my personal experience, every guy I know who's done this has always had issues. These types are only as faithful as their options and the comment about them always cheating but flaming out because cheating gets harder as they age is true. About the age gap fetishists: The guys you see going after teenagers when they're in their 20s never stop. They want as young as possible, but they'll go after anyone who has a huge age gap with them. He's 60? He'll hit on teens and 20s, but he'll also be hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 01:17 AM
12

They mischaracterize, twist, or exaggerate the things you say to make you sound unreasonable or crazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 11:33 PM
143

Men: I want a woman with a tiny waist and impossibly big boobs and butt. She must be really hot and beautiful. She eats like a trucker but never gains weight. She has to have thick long hair and great skin. She wears subtle make up so that I think she's not wearing any and put a lot of effort into her looks but she can't be high maintenance or vain or let her shopping, exercising, and skincare routines take any time away from me. And it all has to be natural! She must contribute 50/50 on all cos…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 11:29 PM
357

Men: It's your fault if you choose a guy who treats you like crap! Women: I want a guy who doesn't look like a slob, takes showers, wipes and washes his own ass, doesn't treat me like shit, and actually wants to be with me. Men: OMG LOWER YOUR STANDARDS!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 04:59 PM
63

^ This this this!!! Even if they don't gaslight after lying, lying about small things unnecessarily is a huge red flag! That means they lie about everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 04:53 PM
15

What also kills me about it is male singers and stars who act out even worse than Britney has whether it's due to drugs, being mentally ill, or just being immature, would never be treated the way Britney has. It's shocking how easy it was take away her rights under the guise of "she's crazy" that wouldn't happen if she was a man. It reminds me of what men used to do to women in the 18-1900s: just call the wife crazy and throw her in the asylum when you don't want to be married to her anymore. "C…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 08:15 PM
26

I tried to make this point months ago when an FDSer said whenever a man told her his ex is crazy she knows they made her crazy. I'm going to repost it here: ​ "I 100% know they made them crazy..." Your statement says "I accept and believe his assertion that those women were/are crazy just because he said so but I think I'm being more charitable and realistic by blaming it on him instead." Why are you buying into the men's BS sexist framework at all? Men call women crazy to discredit them. If you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 07:41 PM
14

My ex slowly started to change over the years and one of the things he did was act contemptuously when I spoke. I remember two incidents really well because of how I had to hold back tears. The first was an evening he was sitting at the kitchen table. I walked in to finish dishes and mentioned something I noticed about our dog earlier in the day. I turned around to see him having this huge, overblown reaction just to me speaking. He was flailing his arms and contorting his face as though every w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 03:08 PM
2

The dumb comment about women wearing shorts an inch above their butt line is idiotic. Yeah, I've seen soooo many women walking around all the time with their butts literally hanging out! /s I love how idiots go to extremes when talking about why the world has to police women and girl's clothing when it's something you pretty much don't see.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 02:35 PM
66

That's because LVM's definition of man depends on treating women like crap (and all the other toxic behaviors). They make it the core of their personality so when we talk about how much we dislike men who conform to that definition, they feel attacked and feel like they're being told to hate themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 11:51 AM
35

Interesting that she only put emotional labor as something they use us for as opposed to everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 12:19 PM
3

They make their lives less satisfying for themselves and for their partners: They often get used to their own hands which makes sex with people less satisfying for them physically. Nothing will ever live up to the fantasies they see online and it can't because what they see online isn't reality. So there is a mental or emotional let down for them and they feel like they're not getting what they really want. When this happens, they're never satisfied with anyone. They keep reaching for the next t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 12:16 AM
31

The day after my divorce was finalized, I had married men I know start messaging me. They knew I was in a lot of pain after I had been cheated on and left so to see how they thought they could use my pain to manipulate me to sleep with them was absolutely vile. I can't believe how stupid they think I am that they came at me with "BOOOO HOOOO my wife won't clean, she doesn't sleep with me or appreciate me! My marriage is soooo unhappy and bad!" and think I wouldn't see right through that when 1) …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 01:40 PM
118

Men who rot their brains with porn ruin their abilities to have any kind of fulfilling intimate relationships with women. They never develop skills on how to be a good partner or be present in a relationship because they only care about sex instead of actually being a partner or forging a good relationship. Their minds are always onto someone else's body or they're more worried about using their partner as a hole or appliance or they're hyper-focused on the fetish they caused themselves to have.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 12:42 AM
49

Reminds me of the time my ex said "The carpet here (at our new house) seems to capture pet hair more than the carpet at our apartment!" No, honeybuns, I'm just vacuuming less right now. I don't feel the need to vacuum twice a day everyday now that I own the place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 12:26 PM
4

Imagine, if planning a few measly dates and putting a modicum of effort into them is so hard, how he'd fare being the partner who has to shoulder planning, doing, and managing everything in their lives once they officially become a couple!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 12:50 PM
10

I was just talking to a friend about this. We were having a conversation about a mutual friend who is bipolar and seems to be getting worse because he doesn't take care of himself. She said she wished he could find someone because she's sad that he's lonely when he's a good guy and that person could help keep him in check mentally. I said Really? Would YOU want to date him? (her answer was no) What woman in their right mind would want to date him? All you'd do is sit there pitying her and talkin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 01:01 PM
3

That's because everyone in their life, including women, will hype them up even when the people hyping them know it's not true. They'll say "You deserve someone! You're such a great guy! Yeah, you're totally handsome too. What a catch! Anyone would be lucky to have you. Don't worry, you'll find someone." It gets repeated to them ad nauseum every time they complain about not getting dates. No one tells them the truth. And the guys will believe them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 12:21 PM
4

I have an acquaintance who tries to get dates by flashing his money while simultaneously decrying women for being gold diggers. He barely has any money. He's pretty skeezy and goes after women who are too young for him, but then gets mad when they don't want him for anything other than his money.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 01:26 PM
2

Thank you! I'll look into all of that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 03:13 PM
2

This is something I still have a lot of trouble with. I had no idea what narcissism even was outside of someone who liked to look at themselves in the mirror too much. Once my ex started cheating and we were in our divorce period, I had people telling me all the time "Oof! He's a narcissist!" so I looked it up and general description didn't resonate with me at all until I got on pinterest and started seeing all these blurbs that were more in line with what I was experiencing. The problem is, I s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 02:30 PM
3

What do you all do for a living? I am one of those women who sacrificed herself for her spouse, got burned, and learned my lesson in the end. I've been struggling. I want to get a good job but I have no idea what to go into, what's even out there that is attainable in a very short time, and something that is attainable because I'm not smart especially in school.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 02:00 PM
18

That's because middle aged men don't know what women their own age look like because 90% of them filter out their own age group in OLD. They're only looking at 30 and younger. They just assume middle aged women look as bad and disgusting as they do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 04:29 AM
9

Why do so many whiny men have this notion that women approach random strange children all the time to talk or play with them and it's some type of injustice that they can't? Approaching children you don't know just to talk to them or interact with them is weird. It's weird no matter who does it. (This is obviously barring childcare and school settings where it's an adult's job) I've never done it and while I can't say I've 100% never seen other women do it, women in general don't randomly approa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 01:05 PM
4

Let me think of the only "compliments" I could give: You're wearing a blue button down shirt and khaki pants like 5 other men on the train. Congratulations on your bland, "This is what I wear to casual weddings and also to work" outfit and the fact that you at least look like a baseline normal guy. You're wearing a navy polo with khaki pants. You also look like a normal guy going to work. (weak thumbs up) You combed your hair! Oh wow, you're wearing those stupid looking oversized and baggy cargo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 04:35 PM
3

There was an askreddit or askmen thread in the past few weeks that talked about this very topic. Most men agreed that men need to compliment each other which was great, but there were some in the thread saying the whole point is that they want compliments from women. If I compliment another woman it's almost always on her style or her overall look because I genuinely like it and maybe she'll tell me where she got something or for a less common reason that she did/said something strikingly awesom…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 04:32 PM
15

I can't imagine how men would react if women put out as little effort as they do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 04:31 PM
6

On the surface it doesn't make sense, but that's because it's written in Douche and not English. They seem like similar languages so it's easy to mistake one for the other. Key words have opposite meanings, see here: If you translate "nice guy" from Douche into English it means "asshole." So their definition of a "nice guy" is someone who doesn't give a crap about the humanity of women or making meaningful connections with them, let's his dick lead him around, treats women like garbage, is selfi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 04:17 PM
4

How long have you been divorced? 3 years. We were together for 23 years. ​ What was the "final straw" for you? What (if any) signs did you ignore or miss or suppressed/minimized that then eventually lead to your divorce and what did you learn from your experience? This is complicated to answer. Things were relatively normal and good until I found out he was cheating and he left me for her so there was no final straw for me. In fact, we had been holding hands and talking about our family and bein…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 06:06 PM
3

"I 100% know they made them crazy..." Your statement says "I accept and believe his assertion that those women were/are crazy just because he said so but I think I'm being more charitable and realistic by blaming it on him instead." Why are you buying into the men's BS sexist framework at all? Men call women crazy to discredit them. If you think she's crazy, you're not going to believe her if she tells you the truth and you're more likely to treat her with disrespect or dislike her. Men will cal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 04:31 PM
15

Yes! If he lies about being single - they're a victim. If he lies about being unhappy but they know he's married or in a relationship - they're NOT a victim. If he doesn't lie at all - they're definitely NOT a victim
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 03:46 AM
13

Yes! 1) Money and being in a position where you can leave easily has a big effect on many people's decision to stay or leave. It actually has an effect on how easily you move on and get over things too. 2) Being together for years and having a good relationship before hand colors your views because you have all this history that says "this person isn't like that normally." Things are more complicated than someone just being a pickme. 3) For many there could be emotional or mental abuse too that …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 03:11 AM
6

I second what KAT says. It's a very rare person who actually doesn't know sleeping with a married person is wrong. Barring people who didn't know they were with someone who was taken or married and those who were seriously manipulated (I know someone who knew it was wrong to be in an affair and didn't want to be, but the man who was her therapist manipulated her into it - it was highly traumatic for her), most know what they're doing even if they're young and immature. This is going to be long: …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 07:03 PM
6

That is creepy. I'm so sorry. I hope her parents explode on him. Are you going to warn them or let them react to it as it happens? Out of curiosity, were those the only times you noticed something off with him or were there things earlier that could be explained away but now look different when you look back on them? My ex always had friends who were too young for him. As he started to get older and began making even younger friends, it bothered and embarrassed me a little, but I would rationali…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 04:23 AM
2

Dang! I'm so glad you were able to get out of that and realize what a bad person he is! I have a friend who is in this scenario right now so I'm watching it play out in real time after it happened to me. It kills me because she's watched me go through this and saw how much my ex hurt me and witnessed the lies the firsthand but she's still choosing be the other woman to someone else. It's hard trying to talk to her about this without saying things in a hurtful way and she desperately doesn't want…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 03:39 PM
11

They're not thinking about that in that way. Some of them are honestly sociopathic assholes who don't care. They don't want to steal anyone but they go after unavailable men for whatever BS reason they tell themselves. It could be "Eh, I'm bored and he wants to..." to "Men will cheat so I might as well be the person they cheat with instead of on." It's all sociopathic, selfish crap. The other types of cheating partners are feelings-based. They have already twisted things in their minds so much t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 09:49 PM
16

That's called "affairing down." They're not going to cheat with anyone better than who they're with because someone better wouldn't be a cheating partner and often they cheat with someone they feel is worse than them so it gives them an ego boost in a few different ways. Only bottom of the barrel people choose to cheat with married/committed people. They're bottom of the barrel in personality and most often in looks too. A baseline decent person wouldn't be a sidepiece no matter what. People wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 08:13 PM
28

Yep! It's funny how many people want to blame women for being cheated on as if it was something brought on by what we did or didn't do. My husband cheated on me and left me for someone who was literally as old as our relationship. It was all him and his issues. Of course, he lied to everyone. But what floored me were the people who hadn't heard his lies who assumed our relationship was terrible and broken for him to have cheated or it was something I did or didn't do. I must not have been apprec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 07:57 PM
7

Truth! Ex-husband, who left me for someone half our age, was one of the most immature people for his age. If you compared him to a 20 year old, sure he might seem mature and knowledgeable for a 20 year old but if you compared him to normal 40+ year old men then you'd see the vast difference. More people should do what you did by looking at people younger than them and realizing the maturity differences which they should apply to the older man chasing them and seriously think about that or think …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 11:02 PM
42

I remember my first encounter with a male med student who said these exact same things. He had been talking to my friend about wanting to go into ob/gyn but was getting frustrated because no one wanted him to practice giving exams on them and few want a male doctor. She stated she'd never want a male gyno and listed off a few reasons. They got my attention because he wanted my opinion and I said the same thing she said : I'd never want a male gyno. His face contorted and he was trying not to yel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 08:46 PM
35

I promise nothing he said to you about his wife is true. NEVER believe him. Cheaters are selfish liars not poor wittle victims of evil women in bad marriages. She's a human so she has flaws, but I would bet everything I own on her being a great wife. Cheaters love to use sympathy to spark affairs and they lie lie lie lie lie lie. They have to lie. Just listen to nearly every story women will tell you about being cheated on. You can seek out forums of cheated-on partners. They'll all tell you how…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 03:29 PM
6

I tried to share a little, but I guess because I wasn't subscribed they were deleted? Oh well. I subscribed now. I don't know if this is something only I can see, but here is a link to my first comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ggh6en/is_he_playing_me/fq99r2z?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 05:38 PM
86

I've tried to post about this a couple times here in the past, but I don't think my comments show? Something I want younger women to know is that these guys are not being rejected by women their own age (they would be if they would try) because they are ignoring women their own age and focusing solely on those who are too young for them. I have a couple of stories; one about a friend and one about my now ex-husband that floor me every time I think about it. NEVER feel flattered or complimented i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 03:08 AM
1

Yes! It's not necessarily that they do a 180, it's that many people don't know the red flags are red flags especially when you get together with someone when you're young and inexperienced. I got together with my husband at 16 (he was 19). We were together for over 20 years and then he divorced me for the 23 year old he was having an affair with. I kept asking myself how he could do this to me, especially since we didn't have relationship issues, hadn't been fighting, and I tried hard to be a go…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 07:41 PM
5

I'm signing on here just for your post. I'm going to tell you this as the ex-wife of a 40+ man who left me for someone your age: he doesn't want you because he thinks you're special, mature for your age, or because the two of you have some kind of connection that surpasses age. He wants you for your youth and I don't mean that in the way of the looks department though I'm sure you look just fine. He think you're going to be easily fooled and controlled. That's the truth. Leave this man. You don'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 09:52 AM
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