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gravyguiness Archive

View 11 posts and 35 comments by gravyguiness on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I get what you're saying with Girl #1. I just feel that the onus is on the girl if you're the person who made the original plans and picked the time and place. I don't think it's needy but it just feels like this unnecessary step of unconfidence . But I can also see it on the other side where the girl doesn't wanna waste her time by thinking I may also flop. Our dynamic was set like that from time. I would pick a place and time for us to meet and she would lmk when she was ready or leaving etc. …
/r/askTRP30/11/20 06:03 AM
1

True, you may be right about being needy. I feel they probably have tonnes of guys wanting to also just "catch - up" as well as me too. I don't do dating apps so meeting new women is rather challenging when you work from home and your circle of friends are people you've known for years. I didn't see it as the easy route, but it definitely was a more comfortable route for sure. I'll just have to put myself out there a bit more.
/r/askTRP30/11/20 05:40 AM
1

That's a good point. I think a combination of quarantine, going through a breakup and this isolation have me off kilter mentally. I don't feel like I'm on purpose much. Thanks.
/r/askTRP30/11/20 05:38 AM
2

Yeah, I'm staying off of dating apps for now and it's rather hard meeting new people during these times. Nonetheless, sound advice.
/r/askTRP30/11/20 05:36 AM
1

Canada
/r/askTRP30/07/20 03:54 PM
2

This has been the main belief and concern even from my last post. That even though I've done all what I can and continue to do so.. i'm still not valued and respected. I believe this is the cause of my hurt and mental fatigue because it's something I would truly dread to be as a possible reason. Ironically. After I wrote this post yesterday I went on youtube and one of my recommendations was a the 48 Laws of Power audio book. I thought it was definitely a sign. I'm currently on the 2nd hour of l…
/r/askTRP29/07/20 06:56 PM
2

Easier said than done. But good advice either way.
/r/askTRP29/07/20 06:48 PM
2

Thank you for this. I think this touched on a lot I was also thinking about as well. Including perhaps coming across like someone I'm not and or trying too hard in general. I do hope it's not the case but I have to accept what it is. In my post, I mentioned that I spoke to a certain friend and asked him why they didn't bother mentioning their little party to me. The reason I asked him is because he's an observant friend. Unfortunately he gave me a dumb answer.
/r/askTRP29/07/20 06:47 PM
3

I'm not trying to make a fuss. I just want clarity and understanding. I tried for it not to come across as a "woe is me" type of shitpost. I'd be lying if I didn't care about it. Rather than repress it hazardly - I want to bring it to life and dissect it so i understand what's going on with me. I think you're right. Another commenter also said that we all just may be out-growing each other and are just incompatible to a certain degree. Thanks
/r/askTRP29/07/20 06:43 PM
1

Perhaps you're right. A lot of times I think about my genuinity and although I find my approach is pure it may not be transmitted and received as such. I personally don't like have the try-hard guys around and people that clearly step on their own shoes to be agreeable. I hope I don't fall into that category with my personal representation.
/r/askTRP29/07/20 06:40 PM
1

I do think I'm trying too hard. I think I over accommodate a lot. But definitely don't overcompensate for validation. Do my friends go out of their way for each other and for me.. yeah occasionally I suppose. I feel that everyone feels different about "going out of their way." If I were to be neutral with things, which I have been before - then I feel I'm not bringing any significance by being there - and that brings me more dread than being unacknowledged. I'd rather be useful and valuable and …
/r/askTRP29/07/20 06:35 PM
2

Unfortunately, you may be right in this case.
/r/askTRP29/07/20 06:20 PM
1

I've never been told that before. Interesting. Never considered it until now. I thought it would be wise to see a therapist - just for regular mental health. So I think when I do start going regularly I might mention that. Yes, I'm glad you brought this up. When I was being proactive by talking to more of my friends personally and individually inviting them out - my friends and myself obviously couldn't invite every single other friend out. Word got out that we were out enjoying our lives amidst…
/r/askTRP29/07/20 06:18 PM
1

That's an interesting take. I do think as well that if I were to find a new group of friends and isolate myself from my current one, the same thing may inevitably end up happening. Why wouldn't it? An issue that I see is that I'm trying to be logical and rational but have yet to find the error in my ways. This doesn't happen to me regularly in other facets of life so the frustration of not being able to solve my problem more than likely adds to the situation itself. I've never been lazy in my ap…
/r/askTRP29/07/20 06:02 PM
1

A lot to unravel there but I appreciate you writing this all. Thank you for your advice. Yeah I don`t plan on breaking up with her but I do plan on having a serious talk and even going ghost for a week or two like another commenter said in here. Because you`re right.. I need to put my foot down. I am assertive in a lot of aspects in my life.. a lot to the point she feels the need to tell me I`m being a dick to so and so or I`m being an asshole to this person but I always affirm to her that i`m s…
/r/askTRP25/06/20 03:23 AM
1

Haven't officially nexted her yet. Debating on it from what another commenter said in here. I know her well enough to know that she will 100% play the victim card initially. It will be interesting to see how she may be a month from now though. Never had to soft next or go ghost on her yet. Thanks for the advice.
/r/askTRP25/06/20 03:15 AM
2

Thanks for your take. I wanted to hear from someone who also has an LTR. Appreciate the advice.
/r/askTRP25/06/20 03:12 AM
1

You bring up a great point about me not being able to see myself with other girls. It's sounds really sappy now that I read it back. I feel as though I still hold on to some abundance mentality. Pre-quarantine I'd be out a lot with my friends and naturally because of the way I carry myself, I'd attract girls. My GF knows this as well because I work PT at a restaurant where I have females hitting on me and working with some pretty hot girls. It just never came to a point where it turned into actu…
/r/askTRP25/06/20 03:11 AM
1

If I were to do that it would be quite the read and I don't want to be called out for "walls of text." That wouldn't be fair for anyone to sit there and have to read my personal examples when the overarching point can be answered. I'll use this example for instance .. she flopped on plans that were set one day. Now I don't have an issue with her doing that because we all have weird days but the fact is that she likes to plan things out extremely diligently and gets very upset when parts of HER p…
/r/askTRP25/06/20 03:05 AM
1

That's a good mentality for her to keep. I dig that she feels the need to enforce that due to your frame. Is it more the girl herself that's submissive or you holding frame more uniquely?
/r/askTRP25/06/20 02:47 AM
1

She's tried reaching out to me, just not in a way that I respect. As in coming at me in derogatory manner "you're just gonna toss me to the side" / "wow you're gonna switch up on me just like that?". They've been left on read.
/r/askTRP25/06/20 02:38 AM
6

I haven't spoken about myself, you're right. I wrote what I thought was relevant about me. I feel that I've taken steps to be more understanding and empathetic, but I don't actively see the same from her. I think you're spot on about her wasting my time, disrespecting me and me just allowing it. I've grown complacent. This is pretty much exactly what I needed to hear. I really appreciate it your advice.
/r/askTRP24/06/20 10:49 PM
1

No, she's a solid 8 if i'm being fair.
/r/askTRP24/06/20 10:39 PM
1

I fear this reality as well.. It would be unfair to say that she hasn't changed at all and I do notice some changes that she has made to eliminate a lot of certain negative behaviors. I know that she was the one who wore the pants in her past relationships. I was attracted to that because she showed a lot of initiative but I feel as though a seed of resentment was born when the power dynamic was shifted since I started dating her.
/r/askTRP24/06/20 10:38 PM
1

Because of the back and forth mentality?
/r/askTRP24/06/20 10:26 PM
1

Not sure where you're picking up that I'm a passive wallflower when I go out. Definitely not my issue for sure. I get called an asshole very often (lovingly) and I lead more conversations than I sit in.
/r/askTRP08/06/20 01:44 PM
2

Yes, exactly. I really have been telling myself .. "oh why? well I guess that's life and it sucks" for years now. but I hate that. I'm trying to change that for myself because it does bother me to an extent because of where my values lie. I wrote this question yesterday and I was obviously significantly more upset about it then than I am now. I didn't let it ruin my day but still, I couldn't help but think why exactly I didn't get considered. It really comes across as a superficial sort of conce…
/r/askTRP08/06/20 01:37 PM
1

Noted.
/r/askTRP08/06/20 12:54 AM
3

Very interesting advice and a unique angle. Thank you. This is also something that crossed my mind as well, but I just don't think I'm excelling past anyone with accolades all on my wall and showcasing that with who I am. I also don't want to think of myself as such a big deal that people feel rather intimidated by my success. I feel that I've stayed very true to myself throughout the years but have obviously tweaked a few personality traits for the better. I do have friends that are more aligne…
/r/askTRP08/06/20 12:25 AM
1

I love my friends. I do truly. They're some of the people I've growing up and have taught me a whole lot in my life. It just seems like maybe I don't have much to add enough for them to want me around.
/r/askTRP08/06/20 12:21 AM
1

Hahaha, I'll take that tbh. Yeah I mean we all come across as awkward every now and then but I don't think that characterizes me much. I usually have a pretty chill laid back style.
/r/askTRP08/06/20 12:19 AM
1

Thanks for the input. Honestly yeah, I can definitely think of ways where I'm boring. But I try not to be by always talking about something or having something interesting to share. I usually show up with a bottle of something and a joint rolled too. But thinking too much is definitely a quirk of mine which is what even led me to make this question in the first place.
/r/askTRP08/06/20 12:18 AM
3

It's not aggressive to say you don't care about her ex. Are you guys dating, have you fucked? Women shouldn't be doing that unless they consider you as just a friend or are poorly trained socially. Sounds like you landed yourself in a non-sexual position with her at the moment. What do you have to lose by saying that you don't care, or are not interested in hearing about her ex. It may be blunt but it should give her enough of a wake up call to see how she looks at you and continue forward.
/r/askTRP23/12/19 01:23 AM
1

Are you fucking other girls because you want to or because she's disrespecting you. It's hard to judge, but it sort of sounds like the latter. You said this is your fault? So you're acting in vengeful spirit, and letting her know you're operating in her frame. No, it's not weird at all in the slightest that she ghosts him. Yes, you are handling this wrong. You should probably weigh your values at the moment and see if it's genuinely worth keeping her around. If yes, then demote to plate immediat…
/r/askTRP23/12/19 01:17 AM
16

Oneitis bro. You have a severe case of it. Imagine you had 10 viable options/plates that were all interesting and down to fuck you. You seriously think you'd give the slightest fuck about your ex. She sounds like an attention whore anyways and y'all both don't really know what you want yet. Here's why I would say no and to completely purge any form of contact and communication with her... you're still in love and you still have feelings. You can still get with her and she wants to keep you as a …
/r/askTRP18/12/19 01:19 AM
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