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grepbenchmark Archive

View 0 posts and 13 comments by grepbenchmark on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

Did the court mandate that this meeting take place today? If not, call your attorney now and tell her you want to reschedule it for a couple of weeks from now. At the same time, schedule an hour to prepare for the meeting with your attorney so that when the meeting finally takes place you're more prepared for it. And when you do finally have the meeting, follow walkingdisaster4046's advice and breathe slowly and deeply to avoid getting too "worked up".
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/22 04:09 PM
1

Yes, this makes sense. We have two adult children. My STBX is a classic narcissist and has made repeated statements about having no hesitation pulling every dirty trick in the book to "fight like a tiger", etc. The issue is property division, not child custody. For me it makes sense to move out of the house and into an undisclosed location and to limit communication to emails only. Email makes it easy to keep a record of everything and there is no requirement to respond immediately, so as to min…
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/22 07:18 AM
1

I had one telephone conversation with my attorney and have conducted all business since then via email. She doesn't have access to my email or any other accounts because I use a password manager (LastPass) and unguessable, separate, randomly generated passwords for each account. I haven't filed for divorce yet, but I've been preparing for months.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 08:00 AM
1

How is the play dirty strategy helpful? My narc STBX is probably also a sociopath and says she'll ignore restraining orders. I'm afraid she'll end up completely deranged if I go down that path. My goals in divorcing her is to do minimal damage to all parties. That's me, her, and our two adult children. Yes, I've waited until the kids were adults to escape from her clutches.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 07:55 AM
8

Since the tone on this subreddit is pretty brusque, I'll add my two cents in the same vein. 1) Unless you're a lawyer, or very familiar with the laws in your jurisdiction, you can't justify the statements you made about ownership of the house, savings, etc. For instance, if you live in California, and you bought the house before you were married, and no marital funds (earned by you and/or her during the marriage) were used to pay a mortgage, then the house is entirely yours. 2) Since you don't h…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/22 08:12 AM
4

I'm glad you were able to escape her. If you hadn't, you might not be here to tell your story. How are you doing these days? Have you moved on and left her completely behind? I'm married to a monster myself. She suffers from NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) and I've been with her for 35+ years. She keeps a baseball bat handy in the house and has threatened me with it a couple of times, but never actually hit me with it. I'm preparing to leave soon, and go "no contact", but getting ready h…
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/22 08:38 AM
1

I disagree. The therapist made a suggestion. Once such a suggestion is made, the patient (receiver of therapy) is free to do their own studying. I had a very similar thing happen to me. At the end of our last session, the therapist said two words to me: "verbal abuse". That began my journey in realizing what I had been subjected to, and finally identifying and understanding our (my wife and I's) relationship clearly.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/22 08:06 AM
1

I'm no expert since I haven't gone through divorce yet. But I'm working on it, and have been doing some homework. I think of attorneys as "law mechanics". They are useful for law-related matters, but the further you deviate from legal procedure into questions of human behavior and tactics, the less useful they become. So you need to have a well-rounded team of helpers. You need a lawyer, probably two in your case, a divorce attorney and a criminal defense lawyer, but you should also consider hir…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/21 06:56 AM
1

The children are key to this, I think. Your wife is probably trying to avoid interaction with them to some extent because the frustrations of dealing with them are stressful to her. I'd start by trying to have a long, private talk to each of the kids, one at a time, to see if you can't get some insight into their perception of you and your wife as parents. If either or both of them tell you that mom is bashing you behind your back, and has said she really wants out of the marriage, or implied it…
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/21 06:46 AM
2

Voice recording without the consent of the person being recorded is illegal in some states, including California. I live in CA and would love to be able to record the crazy rants, threats, etc., but have been advised by my attorney not to. According to a quick google search, the following states require consent from all recorded parties: California, Delaware, Florida, Illinois, Maryland, Massachusetts, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, Pennsylvania and Washington.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/21 03:51 PM
4

Truly outstanding advice!
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/21 03:41 PM
1

If you stay with her, the NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) like things she's doing will never stop. The love bombing you're experiencing right now will dry up within weeks of your getting back together. GTFO for good while you can.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/21 04:01 PM
1

Could you elaborate on going "pro se" (self represented)? I've been thinking of doing this myself for several reasons: I'm retired. Age 65. I can sit in court and watch the action and take notes. I haven't filed yet, but plan to soon after I go no-contact with the STBX. I've spent quite a bit of time over the years reviewing and writing contracts related mostly to my business. I have no problem looking up and reading the laws. I'm the annoying guy who reads the contract in full before signing. S…
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/21 05:43 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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