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grimxluna4ever Archive

View 1 posts and 188 comments by grimxluna4ever on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

Need Supportgrimxluna4ever/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 08:21 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

I would say "talk to your mother".
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/25 11:16 PM
3

Yes. Exactly where I am. Wasted way too much time , effort, energy and resources as it is. I can't afford another mistake. No more chivalry without respect or appreciation. I can fix my own sammich. Strong successful independent man. Or just a man in other words
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/25 01:35 AM
3

My just barely adult adopted daughter is with her paying her rent. Tells me crap like it's what the universe wanted. Sounds like mom talking. It's now the universes fault. My son is with me. We are doing well and trying to heal. What she did still hurts deep.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/24 05:55 PM
22

Yep. 55M here. She told me and the kids in May. It's a thing now. She didn't feel it. As bad as it hurts. As messed up as I was and still am. I got it done asap. Mediated. Went to therapy. Went no contact. She had been planning it for a year and a half. We had sold a home and bought our "forever home" just 3 months previous. She had been hiding money. That's not a friend to say the least. Get it done. Make your life the best it can possibly be. Focus all of your energy on your future. Don't look…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/24 03:33 PM
2

You have to get a lawyer yesterday and file. Court could give a crap about her cheating. You have to start protecting yourself now! Record. Video. When she's being nice? She's manipulating and plotting. When that doesn't work? It will get nasty fast. It's a business transaction now. Save yourself and your finances and your child. Mediate if possible. Try to get it done fast.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/24 11:58 PM
4

I was in the same boat. Married to it for 17 years. Therapist told me tonight I have to stop trying to fix people. Stop with my need to help. If they need fixing, it's a huge red flag. Find your person. The one that brings you peace, love, respect and happiness. I have more work to do. She says I need to love myself. In my opinion, we men have a real issue with this. I know I do. Not sure what that looks like. I just don't think about it much if at all. I just move from one problem/fix to the ne…
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/24 02:54 AM
4

Mine was final a few months ago. First holiday to have to deal with. It's so hard. You are not alone. I miss my family. The best memories turn into the hardest. Find a good therapist. I know it sounds repetitive but you need someone to talk to. You're going to need that for quite a while. You'll start to look forward to it. Try to keep it to the therapist. Few others really care. Go to work. It's most important. Don't freak. Don't do anything stupid. Be kind at least until it's over. Try to slee…
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 12:52 AM
1

Be careful living in the same home with her. Go retain an attorney. Now.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/24 09:08 PM
5

Mine did that too. We sold one. Bought another. I worked on it for a month. Lived in it for two. Then she told me. Just 3 months prior it was our forever home. I now just can't trust anything they say. It's really too bad. A tragedy. But they don't need us. So we should definitely give them that.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/24 04:36 PM
6

I'm not sure yet how to get over the betrayal and thievery by who I thought was my best friend. I went from the best to the worst in such a short period of time. She tried to take it all. I let her have the "stuff". She bought another house with her half. I've added to my half and I have our son. She let him go. I can't understand it but I'm glad she did. So is he. What I know is, marriage is about family. The structure. I'm in my 50's now and can find absolutely no reason to do the government c…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/24 04:32 PM
3

My ex wife betrayed me in every way one can betray. Then brought me and our 2 kids together(19/16) and told us she wanted out. Her behavior towards me became a bit scary so I filed and left. Our son went with me, my adopted daughter stayed. It's now final. Now she wants to be cool with one another. I won't. I'm gone. Forever. For good. All the way. As much as it hurts. She tries to portray herself as the cool, stable one. It's my fault now. She's the good person. She accepts accountability to th…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 05:56 PM
1

Same here with both. She got me really good. Just trying to survive and start over now. She's messing with my son's head now too. She see's him a couple days every other week. Still wants to destroy me. It will never be over until I leave this place for good.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/24 03:06 PM
3

I am in the exact same place you are. Totally betrayed in every way. Same. 18 years. I have my 16 year old son. She just abandoned us. She's a clubber and ho now. I am not. My son and I are going to leave when he graduates. It's what he wants. For us to start a new life. I am about him and seeing to it he gets to where he needs to be. I will not have any outside interference with that. My heart goes out to you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 04:58 PM
2

I was discarded in May by my ex wife. She was diagnosed. I have now been diagnosed with PTSD. I stayed in it for the kids as well. One I adopted. Almost 18 years of abuse, abandonment, lies and betrayal. If she indeed does have bpd it's already over. She's triangulating you right now. She's going to hurt you in a bad way and when you leave that will not stop. Ever. I'm sorry. Truly I am.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 10:13 PM
1

Yes. Diagnosed BPD and bipolar. I could deal with the bipolar but the borderline dealt with me. Recovering. It's over Finalized. Finding me again. It's me and my son now.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 08:14 PM
2

Yes. Mine was diagnosed BPD. 18 years. I've been through it all. The divorce was final Wednesday. Last Monday she told my son every other weekend. She could see him every weekend. More abandonment. I couldn't imagine. So we get to do really cool stuff now. We were already because she basically fell off the face and landed in the bars and clubs all summer. But as your handle states, a life of peace now. My son and I are doing great. She bought a home. With stolen money from our family. We got hit…
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 11:42 PM
1

So much guilt over the kids. She royally screwed them. 19 year old daughter helping her pay bills. 16 year old son is with me. I have to get him to an out of state university so he can live his own life or he'll end up paying her bills too.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 02:09 PM
2

Yes. Power truth
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 02:06 PM
1

Three and a half months in. Final in a month. I'm in therapy. She's out partying being a d bag. I have my son. She moved to a near by town to make sure he doesn't see. She has our 19 year old daughter paying her rent. Had to go to school part time to work full time. She sees our son at he convenience. I don't know this person at all. I don't think I ever did. A hard pill to swallow. She doesn't have me to fill the holes she digs anymore. I want to be happy. I have to be. I will be. I'm good in e…
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/24 03:54 PM
2

My very stbxw was diagnosed Borderline. I didn't know what that meant two decades ago unfortunately. Over time she chipped me away. Gaslighting. Lying. Cheating I'm sure. Never allowed to see her phone. Huge cc debt that I was never allowed to see. Only pay for. Always out with her single friends. If I stood up for myself she would threaten divorce. Last year I finally stopped fighting it. I just answered with if that's what you truly want, I'll be ok with it. She did a 180. But what I didn't kn…
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/24 12:07 PM
1

I started taking my son a year ago. When she said she wanted to divorce last year. I agreed for the first time. I said we could split everything. That's when she did a 180 and said she'd like to work it out. In reality, the plan to steal it from me began. She started cheating. She began her plan to destroy me. Because I agreed with her threat for the first time. We are a month away from it being final. I sent her a picture of me. She asked me who I took that for? I was walking with our son. We h…
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 12:27 AM
2

I'm so sorry. I'm right there with you. Damn man we didn't deserve this. I carried her ass. I was the rock. The source. The sanity. I'm gone now. She's working on the kids now. Has my adult daughter paying her rent. She's 19 man. Had to go to part time student. I can't help her now. I have to save my son from it. He knows. He saw it. He's with me. But has a relationship with her. She won't let me go. Wants me to come over now. Be friends. I have flipped it. I rarely tell her the truth. Hard boun…
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 10:40 PM
3

17 years with a diagnosed BPD. First thing I want to say is I'm sorry. I experienced it all. In the end, which took a year and a half of her plotting and planning against me, she had stolen from me, assassinated my character. Lies lies lies. Other men. The triangulation. In the meantime I was working my ass off. Taking care of kids. Working on the house we had just bought. Doing her laundry. Get it? Last year she had me to the point of being broken and sick. Luckily I spent the last year at the …
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 10:30 PM
6

54M here. Been going through it. Same shit as OP. And like you I just don't see that a different female will be "different". It's truly programmed into them. So as I heal I am seeing things for what they are. I had this inner safe space as well as the outer safe spaces. I will get there again. I will keep my resources. Use them to my benefit. Becoming a beast at the gym. I feel so much better physically since she's been gone. She was destroying me. Now it's mine time. Strength. Fortitude. I have…
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 03:31 PM
1

My stbxw is in real estate and did the same thing. They've known each other for years. Basically cut me out. Sending me PDFs of things so I couldn't sign them. It was to be on her terms to serve her. They got it done though finally. 50-50. Closed a week ago. All but over now. It was extremely stressful.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/24 05:31 PM
1

Yes. This is me exactly. I'm getting there. Almost over her. Now undoing the gaslighting. The things she did though. The plan. That one is just so hard to process. The why? What did I do to deserve that? That's going to take a while.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/24 05:28 PM
8

Hi Roshi. Go for a walk today. Clear your thoughts. I'm with you man. I was there. Now I'm in and out. Flashes instead of fulltime. Are you going to therapy? It's important. I'm here man. I'm right here. We have your back man. Sundays suck. I know. My son was with her yesterday and half the day today. I hate it. But I went to my place. To walk it out. I'm better now. Keep moving. Get your butt to a big good gym. Please. Do it for all of us here. We want to hear about it getting better. It's goin…
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 06:14 PM
1

Well, I'm not sure. I'd like to say better but still having flashes of sadness. I see her in a different light. I understand gaslighting now. The long game. She had me so upside down I had been gaslighting myself. It had been in the plans for over a year. She was trying to take everything. She had been hiding money. The cc debt I wasn't allowed to see ever. Considering a financial audit soon. Me is slowly coming back. Still uncertain of my future. I feel like starting over somewhere else. She'll…
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 10:31 AM
3

I think it's just not true. That's her talking. Stop it. You are you brother. Just older. You'll be fine. Just be patient. Don't speak of her. Be positive. Show them what you have to offer.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 08:28 PM
1

Do their words match their actions. Usually they don't.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 02:16 AM
2

Yep. They want you too to prove your weakness. Expose your vulnerabilities and take advantage of them. Easy target.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 02:13 AM
7

Yes. I feel it. It's terrible. And I feel the same like people look at me as it must have been me. It wasn't. She was brutal. Still is. We married the wrong person. At least I did. I wish I had known the red flags but I didn't. She's out partying and I'm working and taking my kid to the gym. Eat. Bed. That's my day. I'll take it. I'm one of the lucky unlucky ones.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 12:09 AM
1

The reason we feel this way is because they wanted us to feel this way. Mine gaslit me the whole marriage. I mean went to no ends. Breaking me down. Little by little. Recognize it. This isn't us. It's what they made us into. Get pissed about it. She's not your friend. If she was the relationship wouldn't be ending. Not her game anymore. Make it your game and win.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 01:43 AM
6

Nobody in a good gym is going to judge you. Quite the opposite. Very good people in a gym. They are there for the same reason you are. To feel better.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 11:59 PM
9

No. Go to the gym. Get out of the home.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 11:57 PM
1

Me either. The what now? Is the worst.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 02:44 PM
1

54M.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 02:39 PM
4

She texted me as I was writing this. Lol Didn't need to. She's out doing the club thing now. At 50. Our son is with me. She wanted that too. I think she just didn't want to be Mom and wife in real life. All just lip service again. Mom in name only. Talks cheap. Actions matter. Only pay attention to those from here on out.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 02:38 PM
4

Mine was diagnosed. She told me but I didn't really know what that meant. It was 18 years ago. The lies man. It's terrible. You know. No fighting it either. Just wasn't worth it after a while. Cheating. Lies about that. Manipulation. Never her fault. Never involved. Just lip service. Tells you want you want to hear them does what she wants to do. Anyway. Final discard 3 months ago. Almost over but we have kids. I'll never truly be free of it. It's about destroying me now. In any way she can. Wil…
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 02:34 PM
8

She said it so freely because this is what she's telling her friend group/coworkers. She's just used to it. And if she said that to you, she's saying worse to them. So she's working on her validation. She knows it's over for her. She wants it to be your call Be careful with that one. Courts hear her. They dismiss you
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 02:18 PM
3

I do now. She was having an affair with a mortgage broker for almost a year. She had to figure out a way to embezzle our finances. She wanted it all. And destroy me. BPD. New FP. She saw a new source. And at the same time, take everything from the old source. I became the enemy. I just didn't know it. I mean, I knew something was very wrong, I just couldn't put my finger on it. Something was always "wrong". I was in a constant state of trying to make things right. It's called splitting. High IQ …
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 11:46 PM
3

Not this time. Second time I just told her if that's what she wanted. I had to stay cool. She was trying to get me to react. That was her plan. For me to get mad and leave. I stayed cool and talked to an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 10:56 PM
1

Nope. I have no idea who she is or what she thinks
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 10:54 PM
2

Sounds just like what happened to me. Except it was all in one evening.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 10:26 PM
3

Yeah, she would say "team(our name)". Not a team anymore
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 10:12 PM
1

Yep. Sucks. Like opening the door to a caged abused dog. May not want to come out.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 10:10 PM
2

My stbxw of 17 years was diagnosed Borderline personality disorder. She told me when we got serious. I didn't know what that meant. So you were spot on. Kuddos. Way smarter than me. I know now. Know more than I care to.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 09:47 PM
25

I'm dealing with it right now. I was the greatest. I worked her through college. Paid off her loans. Coached her in her career choices. She became successful. Then I wasn't the greatest anymore. Discarded like yesterdays trash after 17 years of busting my ass. Raising two kids. Braces. Tonsils, the lifestyle. Just wasn't enough at some point. Greener pastures. All it takes. And it was all her. She did it all. I'm not even mentioned. Like remodeling the kitchen. She didn't lift a finger. But on S…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 09:15 PM
4

I have only been face to face with her a couple times in the last few months. A perfect stranger. 16 years of best friend. A year of her abandonment and affair. And now I have no idea who this person is. I'm just me. Pretty simple. It strains my logical brain to see a person do such a flip. Change so drastically. Lie so much without remorse. Care so little about our children. She's seen my son maybe 5 times in 3 1/2 months. One time she and her affair guy took him out on a boat. She lied to me a…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 04:09 PM
2

Me too
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 04:00 PM
7

I'm so sorry. In the same boat. Starting not to miss her but miss the family unit terribly. She did unspeakable things but my kids didn't. We didn't deserve what she did to us. No us anymore. Just another broken western family. Seems it's what our culture is about now. Normal
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 03:58 PM
8

Mine had the plan for at least a year and a half. I had my assumptions, but learned of an affair for the last year. Twice last fall she told me she was going to this hotel for a meeting. Several other times I saw she was at same hotel Right next to guys office. It's almost over. I can't change it. I've seen the patterns in the past. Going out of town and turning her phone off until the next day. I can't prove anything right? I just don't trust her. Gaslighting. She wanted everything. Tried to ge…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 03:48 PM
2

You will probably be ok mentally until the divorce is figured out. Papers signed. Stuff moved. You are going to be busy. In a state of disbelief still. But you'll have important things to take care of. Like usual. It's after that's done, and you have some time, when things get real. Get prepared for that. Therapist. Dawning phase begins. Its rough man. Know it. Try to stay busy. Be around people that care. Get your gym membership. A good one. With good people. Try to accept what has happened. Go…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 09:46 PM
1

Mine seems to be the same way. I was there to fill in the holes she dug. She will always dig them. Somebody else will fill them in now. She always said it was the power of positive thinking. Lol. Ok
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 11:23 AM
1

Very well said.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 11:21 AM
2

Feel the same way. Was just reading comments in another thread. Wife had a two year plan to leave her husband. She was ready and he would probably be shocked but shouldn't be because he should be psychic. So many chimed in and did the same thing. Had to get their ducks in a row. This is what my stbxw did. They get their ducks in a row financially, socially and usually another relationship. I'm sorry but this is abuse. Deceit. And we just have to live with it. And that is true. But I don't ever h…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 11:13 AM
3

Haven't got through it. Feel the same way. I'm not a loner. I like having a partner. And don't know what to do about it. Because I know I'm not ready. But she is. So why can't I be?
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 02:28 AM
2

Harsh truth 💔
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 02:24 AM
2

Right?
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 02:22 AM
3

Yes. Damnit man why?
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 02:20 AM
5

This was me
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 02:20 AM
21

That people can be great actors. That you can be married for a long time to someone you don't really know. The person that had your back was waiting with a knife to stick you with it. And love turns to hate real fast when they let you know of their true intentions. Revenge for no reason. The rules
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 02:19 AM
3

She was in the clubs a week before she told me. Party girl now. Still not final yet but she says it is so it is.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 02:12 AM
3

I was really surprised she went through with it. She's threatened me twice a year for the whole marriage. Just her way of ending my questioning. But I just agreed with her this time. Seemingly that didn't work. I don't think I could do it again. I was really hoping she would just age out. I was incorrect.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 12:02 AM
6

Wasn't allowed to look at her phone either. When we were in her car, and she would get a text, she would go for her phone immediately. Would never put text on the screen of the car. All red flags.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 09:07 PM
6

Mine was the same way. I worked her through school. Paid off her loans. Coached her in her career. She has become pretty successful. Then the non transparency started. Not allowed to see her bank account. Never saw a credit card statement. She would get in trouble with them. I would move money around to pay them off. One time it was 27k in three years with nothing to show for it. We sold our home to pay those. Made a large profit though. After that, last year she talked about divorce. Said she s…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 09:04 PM
1

Yeah, I mediated with mine. She was adamant about it. Gave me what I wanted. Which wasn't much. She got a much better deal financially. But I got my son most of the time. Just to find out later she had been taking cash advanced on credit cards for a long time. I would move money around to get them paid. One time it was 27k Sold a house to pay that one. She was playing shell games to hide money. But it was too late. The decree was signed and binding.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 08:51 PM
7

I think so absolutely! but she's not the only one. It's a work/friend group of old single people. Was one of our big issues. My question to her when married was, you have a beautiful home in a great neighborhood, a great job and a beautiful family. Why do you want to keep doing this? The only wife in the neighborhood going to the damn clubs! Out drinking and partying. IDK. Single old females cheering her on. Wanting some flings before she's too old I guess. Who knows. She's diagnosed BPD so that…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 07:20 PM
14

I'm going through it right now. My stbxw is beautiful. Smart. Moving up the ladder. And the same thing. Trying like hell to look as sexy as a 49 year old can. I filed. She ended it but made me do the dirty work like usual. House sells next Friday. She's out clubbing. I'm a mess. She's been planning this for up to a year and a half. Been married almost 18 years. Kids are almost grown. I'm 54. Feel like I gave her my best years. Worked my ass off to give her the things she wanted. Then she tried t…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 05:34 PM
2

I stayed. She used me up. Discarded me in May. Was in her works for a year and a half. She got prepared. Had her single support system set up. Hid money. Had a plan. Then dropped it on me and the kids like it was a bill. But I was dad. For as long as I could. I got one out of high school into college. Didn't quite make it with the younger. Two years short. We had some great times though. Basically she just worked me to death and took the credit. Mine stbxw is BPD but they share similar qualities…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 03:21 PM
2

Yes
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 02:07 PM
12

Yes. Happened in three weeks Then 5 minutes But she had actually been planning it for a year and a half. Betraying me with her financial infidelity. Ultimately trying to take our home. 18 years. My best friend. I will never be the same.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 02:04 PM
2

I have. She saw it on my YouTube feeds. Hated me for it. I know the two are similar. She splits though. Needs parented. Burns money. Impulsive. Lies. Cheats and is good at it. New fp. Final discard. I am the enemy now. Anything attached to me has to go. Borderline.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 11:33 PM
5

Yes. Weakness when it's strength. You are incredible. Seriously. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 08:42 PM
4

I had my son and I DNA tested a couple months ago. He's 16. Just to make sure. For me. I adopted her daughter. I just had to know. He is mine thank God.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 08:39 PM
12

I'm so sorry Mine came up positive with HPV 8 years in. Same as you, no way to prove anything. She, of course, wouldn't admit to anything but I know she had been unfaithful afterwards. Won't admit to that either. Papers signed ten years later.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 08:37 PM
2

God. My stbxw. Every single one of those add diagnosed Borderline. Seriously. All of them. I'm such an idiot. Married to that for two decades.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 11:58 AM
5

I was married to a BPD for 18 years. Final discard came in May. She had been plotting against me for over a year. She had found her new FP. I knew something was wrong. Well, something was always wrong, so you just get used to that. In therapy. Gym. Hearing all the same things. But people just don't understand all the dynamics. Inner workings. She was very special to me. She was in a bad place when we met. But so damn smart. The center of attention. Fun. Beautiful. I helped her to become a succes…
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 11:48 AM
1

Honestly, I don't think I'll get over it until I meet someone. Sucks. But the truth.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 11:07 PM
1

My borderline stbxw started therapy. About 15 years too late
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 11:05 PM
1

I want that. She started edmr on me. I drew a blank.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 11:04 PM
2

Exactly.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 10:23 PM
1

I do it all. I'm around 7 weeks out from my knowledge of the absolute betrayal. I'll feel a bit better for a couple of days. Then in a moment. Bam. It's all there again. I almost bought her out of our home so she wouldn't lose out on her new home. I felt that bad for her. She called me and texted me for three days like we were still together. Made me feel so good. That's called manipulation. My son talked me out of it. It creeps man. It just does. I wish it didn't.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 10:21 PM
1

Amen
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 10:17 PM
1

It's now going to be a push pull with the kids. Instead of me. Same thing though. I feel like I need to live far away from her. My son, who lives with me, goes to college in two years. That's my time frame.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 08:02 PM
1

Thank you for sharing. Wise words.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 08:00 PM
4

Same thing here. What I've found is you pay someone to listen to you. So you don't have to bleed all over the real people in your life. It has that benefit. You feel better afterwards. But it's short lived. The answer to our problem? I wish I could tell you. I feel like it's meeting the right person. But how do we do that so messed up? They've already moved on without telling us. It's not a fair game they play. So know that part. It wasn't fair. So cut yourself a little slack. I'm sorry brother.…
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 07:58 PM
1

Yep. SM "friends"and single "friends". Only "friends" she has. I had kids ,a home and a marriage. Had. Well, still have one kid.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 07:52 PM
3

Good to hear
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/24 01:25 AM
2

We had a buyer for our home. Cash deal. My stbxw works in real estate. Found out she's already contingent on s home. Closes on the 31st. Paid earnest money. Our buyers pulled out today. She was screwed. I mean really bad. So I asked her if it would help her if I bought her out but she would have to work with me. She started crying. Asked " you would do that for me"? I said I would but it would be a triage situation. We came to terms. I put the application in for refinance. Me and my son would li…
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/24 01:20 AM
3

I'm so sorry. 54(M). Same kind of thing. Her single friends coaching her to be just like them. Didn't think I'd be alone at this age. What are your plans as far as that goes? I'm sure you don't want to go through the remainder alone. What are we supposed to do?
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 08:42 PM
1

Maybe she has a heart and you still have a place in it. She sees you every time she looks at your child. Not the bf. Just be nice to her. It's ok. Wish mine had one of those.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 08:29 PM
1

If it's worth saving you wouldn't want to do that
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 10:22 PM
1

Could that mean she has been? BPD is notorious for that. IDK OP. Sounds sketchy. Don't do it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 10:21 PM
1

They fear abandonment. But they do the actual abandoning. Sabotage the relationship to avoid you abandoning them. There are work arounds. If you love her,study up on what is is she needs from you. I didn't. And I should have.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 10:13 PM
2

Mine abandoned the hell out of me. 17.5 years gone in 5 minutes for me. It was planned for a year. A year ago she felt like I was going to leave her. So not true but that's what she thought. So a year of abandoning me and trying to ruin my life. Don't make her think your going to leave her unless you truly are. Then no contact.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 10:08 PM
2

DeMars Coaching channel on YouTube. Best I've found so far. My stbxw was diagnosed but I didn't do my research before it was too late. I didn't exactly know what it detailed. I thought she was a narcissist. Check it out. Very interesting stuff. And if she passes the test, man it's bad ok? Shit can and will get very weird and messed up. Figure it out. She has 3 symptoms in one statement. 6 more to go
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 09:53 PM
1

Is she Borderline? BPD
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 09:47 PM
4

Yeah, mine was the same way. Not allowed to look at her phone even though I gave her permission and code to mine. Hers was connected to her car. If I was in it, and a text came, she would start towards the screen, then stop, and get her phone out to check the text. I would ask her why she couldn't just look at it on the screen and always got some bs answer. She lied to me all the time. Diagnosed Borderline so things were always a struggle. And same as you I can't really prove anything. She would…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 07:16 PM
4

Me too. It was planned at least a year ago. Bought a house 4 months ago. Put our savings into it. She thought she would get the house. Lose/lose. For both of us. House sold
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 06:31 PM
2

Yep. Twice a year for 17 years. What's that? 34 times?. Last two times I said ok. And yeah, she spent a year plotting against me. Cost us 40k just to lose. They think we're gonna go insane or off ourselves. At a point you have seen it all already. When you grow up you know the legalities. And yeah, mine was diagnosed BPD so I'm a professional in mind f**k. She was the professor. Still is.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/24 01:52 AM
3

It's what they do. Don't do it back. Speak truth. Be the bigger person. Your kids know. Don't validate her position to your kids. As far as the other people. Who cares. Are they going to testify? Lol. I bet not.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 11:44 PM
13

I'm in exactly the same place. She wanted it. Planned it. I didn't. I was willing to suffer because I loved her. I loved my kids. I loved being a family unit. It wasn't always bad. But I had to tolerate abandonment. Everything else in her life was just more important. Never content. And I shouldn't feel this way. But I do. I was feeling like a panic attack was coming on just a few moments ago. She's already moved on. She was moved on before she told me. That's the game. They don't have it in the…
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 02:08 AM
3

Man, exactly what I said. I can make the money back. I can buy more crap. She took 17 years from me but she did give me a great kid. Tell them you love them. Be there for them. Be the stability that you are. You will be rewarded. It will be worth it. They will increasingly gravitate towards you. When they're 25 and 22 they will still be leaning on you.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 01:24 AM
5

My daughter, that I adopted when she was 2, a one night stand child, is 19 and just like her mother. I feel sorry for her really. Mom just wasn't ever around. I raised them. But I never intended on not telling her. I told her when she was 13. She got mad at Mom and Mom blamed me of course. But she went with Mom hoping to have that relationship. That bond she never had. I may be wrong but I don't think it's going to be what she wants it to be. My son on the other hand, was treated like the step c…
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 01:13 AM
7

Crazy. We had sold a house last year. After that she said she wanted a divorce. I tried a different approach and told her I'm ok if that's what you want. She's Borderline so we did this dance about twice a year. She circled around and changed her mind. That's when she got devious. She wanted it all. I had no gifts under the tree Christmas morning. That really upset my kids. We had to buy another home. I didn't want to. She did. Bought one. 3 months later she tells me. She works in real estate an…
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 12:54 AM
12

She did. Matter of factly. Told the kids. Told them they'd get over it. Basically out of the blue. 17 years. She couldn't get it done fast enough. Signed, separated everything, sold the house in 6 weeks. I'm left wondering what the hell just happened. Parallel universe.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 11:57 PM
6

Yes. I felt very appreciated and loved so much the first couple of years. Then the next 10 I had to earn it. The last five I was slowly abandoned. She's happy surrounded by all her single friends. She always had those. I didn't. Now I've been thrown away. The hurt goes to my core. Half of me left. I've never known this kind of pain. The deception. She hid it until she was ready. An actor. A thief. A liar. A plotter. It's almost too much.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 02:22 PM
1

Mine was diagnosed Borderline. She told me in the beginning. Medicated. That was 17 years ago. I didn't know really what it was. I could teach a class on it now. She was and is textbook. What I know is I'm gone. Her choice of course. But it's still there. I'm sick of hearing about their fear of abandonment. It's what they do. Their true purpose. To abandon you slowly. In every way. Until there is nothing left. Then they move on to their next victim. Usually before they let you know it's end of m…
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 02:08 AM
2

My therapist and my stbxw said I painted a portrait of her in my mind. Damn man. Who wouldn't. She was an abusive, crazy redhead. Pretty as hell though. Monster on the inside. Loved me hated me repeat. No boundaries. We have kids. Got one to adulthood. One didn't make it. 2 more years. I did pretty good. Damn right I painted a portrait. Gonna burn it soon.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 01:57 AM
1

Same here. 17 years. Mine happened 6 weeks ago. She couldn't get it done fast enough. Contract on the house today. So it's done basically. Mine is diagnosed Borderline so there ya go. Same as the rest. In therapy. My favorite place to be. I told her today it's all done. Go be free. I'm still attached but fighting it hard. You guys really help me out. Thank you. You are not alone here that's for sure. Bless you brother.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 01:51 AM
3

Come oooooon #5
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 01:45 AM
2

Seriously sounds like like my stbxw. She was diagnosed Borderline. She's textbook. Got off the meds when she got pregnant with our son. Which I was for. But never went back on them. Shit went very bad after that.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/24 08:48 PM
2

I don't think I could ever say I do again. For what reason would I. It means nothing now. Except what all of us are going through. You should have to say I except all the abuse and future trauma from this person. There should be more I won'ts than I wills.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/24 08:40 PM
2

Hard for me to up vote that. It rings so true in my now existence. I am still so much in love with the wife and best friend that abandoned me. Threw me away. For reasons I still don't totally understand. I do have one biological child which is something she did give me. He is with me. But is watching me suffer. He lived through the things she did too. Terrible things that I also have to live with. And so does he. We both love her so much. And we're betrayed so many times. That's the guilt. I'm 5…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/24 11:23 AM
1

Agreed.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/24 11:04 AM
1

WTF? Screw them. We should charge them triple when fixing their shit. Or just refuse. Hand them a wrench.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/24 12:35 AM
3

Yep. Me to a T. Every word. Nuked our family. She 49. I'm 54. What the hell now though? For both of us. And putting our kids through this. Just a couple years ago I was the best thing ever. Posting videos to me on social media.Just months ago doing the same thing. Then... 6 weeks ago, 3 months after buying another home, done. Over. Can't do it fast enough. I loved her. My family meant everything to me. My identity. Think about us growing old together. Not so far away. She's messed me up good. My…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/24 12:30 AM
2

Yep. Fookie is right. My stbxw was coached by her single friends to be just like them. They are out partying and celebrating. A 50 year old women. Celebrating this. We had it made. But she is Borderline and full of envy. It's either all good or all bad. She wanted this not me. It came as a total surprise. She has an unlimited support system. In the bar and club it's pretty easy for them to get over us and "move on". For us however it's man up. Stand tall. Go to the gym. Go to therapy. She remove…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 11:42 PM
2

Therapist told me not to listen to music when I go to bed. But I still do. Adele "Easy On Me" is like I wrote it. I adopted her daughter when she was two. Coldplay "Fix You" live in Sau Paulo and Sara Evans " A little bit stronger ". Over and over. Until I've had enough. I'm not sure why I do that.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 02:22 AM
2

No. There's not. Mine dug holes. I filled them in. Her parent at times. Her coach. They don't get that now. I'm not there to listen to her. Give her advice. Stop her from making terrible decisions. To be honest I couldn't stop her. Just get a bigger shovel. So they will live or die by their own swords. It's not our fight anymore. Our fight changed. It's in our own minds. I'm fighting a real battle. So are you. It's life or death. So improve your status. Day by day. Week by week. So when it's tim…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 02:04 AM
2

I haven't looked at pictures all week. That's helped. It wasn't our decision. It was theirs. So the guilt isn't there. That's for them later on. The feeling of being a failure is going away. I didn't fail. You didn't fail. They quit. The reason really doesn't matter. I took my son today to by some new gym clothes. My pay isn't evaporating like it used to. Lol. I'm trying to make a financial goal. House is for sale so it's a start. Save money. Improve your status in self image. The hurt is here t…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 01:49 AM
2

You are not alone. Married 17 years. 6 weeks ago she tells me. We had just bought a home! Again...In a week we were signed. I have our son. Our adult daughter is with her. Like you she just can't get it all done fast enough. She is Borderline and that's always been difficult but I am just stunned and hurt. All the memories. All the accomplishments. Braces. Tonsils. Graduations. I put her through college! The things she said about soulmates and forever. Vacations and Christmas. All gone in 5 minu…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 01:38 AM
1

God I'm so sorry. It's funny. She told me when we first got together. She was so smart. I thought Borderline? If it's borderline I can get you back across. Lol. God. Dumb and love bombed. She was in a pretty bad way when I found her. I adopted her 2 year old bar baby. Worked her through school. Paid her student loans. She tried to ruin us financially of course. That's like a rule for BPD. Only 6 weeks out and I'm just not used to her not spending my money. It's still there! Ha! She'll fail. She'…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 03:28 AM
2

Close. I did live in Martinsville when I was a kid. Loved it there. Northeast TN. And yes. She was an addiction. I loved the portrait I painted in my mind. She wasn't hard on the eyes either so....but toxic as they come. Bury the bad. Remember the good. How I survived. It's what spouses of BPD have to do. It's what you're married to. Not a person. They are actors. Why it's great to be out with them. They are fun. Exciting. Until you get home. The home with the eggshell floors
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 03:10 AM
1

OMG. He is 16 and so smart. Transforming his body and mind. I love it. It's like we've been training for this moment. He told me he wished we would have left last year. His mother has always been pretty absent. So not seeing her much really doesn't bother him. As long as we're at the gym every other day. Lol. Once the house sells we're heading to the OBX. Our vacation spot. Where we got married. She always ruined it for us. Vacations, holidays, whatever. The OBX is mine. That's what my son told …
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 02:06 AM
3

5 weeks in. Borderline stbxw. I'm pretty messed up. Was angry today. Visions of her with the monkey branch. I know she feels nothing. No shame. No guilt. Her family is broken so it's just normal for her. I'm her third. But it lasted 17 years. Some days I'm ok. I have my son. We do the gym. Have for quite some time. So I have that to look forward to. But we she takes him, usually just for a few hours on Saturday, I'm a mess inside. I'm not a big drinker. She is. But I've had a few more beers than…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 01:52 AM
3

First rule, if you want to stay married you can't threaten the marriage. Mine did this about twice a year for 17 years. I finally stopped taking that bait and called her bluff for the third time. It's over now. So, first thing is to try to stop that kind of destructive language. If you are she can't then it's just a matter of time. You are one of the lucky ones here that still have a chance. This side sucks. Try to stay over there.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 01:49 AM
1

Was married to a Borderline for 17 years. Incredibly intelligent. Crazy redhead. I was crazy about her. She made me crazy. I felt more like her employee. She worked me to death man. She only had single friends. I had our kids. One I adopted. Then she was done. Just bought another home. Our 4th. She's selling it again. I'm done being man slave. I just want a friend. She got rid of those for me. Not sure if I'm even capable of that now. Alone. My son. My job. The gym and a therapist. That's it. Id…
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 01:42 AM
1

I'm there with you brother. My son and I have been going to the gym regularly for a year now. Have done this before for the same reason alone but it's different with us. It's like we've been training for this. He saw it coming too. Told me he wished it would have ended a year ago when I agreed to divorce then she circled around. The thing with the person you've been with so long, loved so much, had kids with, family vacations, Christmas, hard times, good times, great times, now is banging someon…
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 01:20 AM
2

I definitely have the capacity to love someone else. But, can anyone really love me? You know, not love what I can do for them, or how I treat them, or how I could possibly make their life better......just love me...I'm just not very confident with that.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 01:05 AM
9

No doubt. My f-ing hero. Seriously. Men = Purpose. This is my purpose now. 17 year marriage nuked in a moment. F her. No more working for her. I work for my son now. I WILL get him where he needs to go and be. Comfortable. Proud. Happy. With his own purpose.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 12:23 AM
2

Yeah, living it. It's bad. She's really messed me up. And still trying.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 04:42 PM
1

Feel the same way. Ive seen karma in action though. Just believe with all of your heart that if you just do the right thing. It's going to be okay. Just when your least expecting it. Something will change. Maybe even that person. And for her? The same. It's already over for new dude. Will be fun for a bit then she'll change on him. We know what we want. And it's not to be a bar fly. It's not to be a douchebag ho. Seek out good things. Maybe even try out church? Just listen. Ask the big man to he…
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 12:32 AM
1

Ah. Been an absolute mess. Going to therapy. Lose it in there. But at work I can show no weakness. Just grin and bare it. I'm really not sure what to do now. A hobby? Shit man. Living in some surreal parallel universe. Have no idea what I'm doing. Day to day. Try to sleep. If I don't? Maybe tomorrow night. I'm in it with you. It takes two to tango now. For most of us. No new boat for me. Maybe some new work clothes.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 12:17 AM
1

I went through this last year with her. We had a half a million dollar home. Beautiful. I worked on it for three years. I was done. That's when she told me about her 27k of credit card debt I knew nothing about. Nothing to show for it. We had paid about ten off when we sold our previous home. I told her we needed to sell. We had to buy our daughter a car to go to college. Just too much. So we spent last summer doing that. I didn't want to buy another home with her yet so we banked it and rented …
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 11:59 PM
2

Man, we're selling our home. I just talked to her. Good conversation. We had those. Our banter will be hard to beat. So I guess that's why. She is special. Really. Just f'ed up with the BPD. She said she has her really bad days too. Not sure if I can trust that. I like company. A real teammate. Which she was outside the home. Just inside the home where nobody could see or hear was beyond terrible sometimes. We knew where to go ya know? I want the first part without the second part. I hate arguin…
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 10:42 PM
1

And all that's left out there is them. What are guys like us supposed to do? Import? Lots of Ukrainian females needing a guy I guess...
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 09:56 PM
7

Haven't. She does. Knocking it out with all of her single friends. She always had them. Look. It's not about that. You know what it's about. You know what you want. How to find it? When you figure it out let me know. I'm 54M and screwed. But I'm not going to do something out of spite. Do the right thing. You never regret that
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 09:53 PM
2

Happy Father's Day!
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 09:49 PM
1

Someone has to put her up to that.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 09:48 PM
1

My wife insisted we get married on my step daughters second birthday. No real anniversaries. It was her birthday. And it pissed HER off. My fault. Well, no more anniversaries/ birthdays.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 09:47 PM
1

Thank you and Happy Father's Day! You're the man!
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 09:42 PM
2

She's a piece of shit. Sorry. Low
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 09:41 PM
2

Happy Father's Day!!
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 09:40 PM
2

My first too. It was pretty special. They are good together. We are good together. I did the best I could. I really enjoyed watching those two.bone is with Mom. One is with me. Not fair to them, but I adopted my daughter at two. Mom was absent during their childhood. Better things to do. She was pretty snake but about it. I hope they can bond. Wife is BPD so I just hope it's not another trauma bond. Happy Father's Day my fellow survivor!
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 09:40 PM
6

Man, when COVID hit, a single friend of my wife came into our lives. She had lost her job. My wife took her in. Put her in my son's room. Since he now had to sleep on a couch, I did as well. She basically took over my home and my wife. My wife works in real estate. In three days I went from learning about her want to sell the home to it being sold. She wanted to buy a home with an in-law suite so this worthless b**** had a place to stay that was up to her standards. Bought a bigger home. She sta…
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 03:07 PM
4

Described me to a T. Mine is Borderline but same thing.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 02:54 PM
1

Same here
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 02:41 PM
1

I feel the same. 54. She selfishly ended it just to give single life one more go. Sleep around. Figure she'd already been doing that. Therapist said I had painted a portrait in my head that wasn't real. That I was abused for 2 decades. She is Borderline so the mental anguish was always present. I know it. I hate her for it. But it's not just about her. The family unit was destroyed. I couldn't save it this time. So now what? A hobby? Really? I'm 3 weeks in. Signed mediation. And sick from it all…
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 02:41 PM
2

I love you and I hate you. Exactly. Sucks so bad
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 02:27 PM
1

Her Borderline is in full force. She made me leave. She's in real estate so her circle of friends are selling our home. Had an open house this weekend. I didn't know why because new sliding glass door goes in Monday. She's contingent on another home already. That's why. So we had a brand new heat pump put in a few months ago. 13k. It didn't pass inspection. A drain . They were supposed to come to fix that. So now it leaked and messed up two ceilings. So she calls me a little while ago telling me…
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 12:44 AM
3

You are absolutely not in this alone
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 09:03 PM
2

She's only with my son about once a week. We too are selling our home we just bought 4 months ago. I have real anxiety when he's with her. I feel like he's not coming back. This is very knew to me. A couple weeks into that. I'm not sure how to turn it off. He's 16. He can make his own decisions. I've been dad for so long. Protector. Teacher. I have no idea what I'm doing here. What the right thing is. She's BPD. A master manipulator. It terrifies me. I just want him back home. Now. I gotta chill…
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 08:04 PM
3

We signed mediation Monday. But I trust her so little now. She's Borderline and now works in Real Estate where they all seem to be single. But it goes back to the very beginning. 17 years ago. I feel guilty about it, but I took my 16 year old son to get a DNA test. I adopted her daughter when she was 2. I just can't put it past her. If it's all good? I'm moving on knowing he's my biological son. If things get sadistic, and he's not, I'm calling off the mediation. I will destroy her. I will spare…
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 06:50 PM
2

Right there with you. Keep up the good fight. Maybe some good karma will come out way eventually for having to experience this.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 06:21 PM
3

I seemingly the American female now. I just about don't want another.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 06:10 PM
7

Just know we are here with the exact same issues. I'm 3 weeks in too. A parallel universe. Went to grocery store today. By myself. Really tough. We went together. Mine lied and cheated. 17 years worth of lies. I trust her so little now I took my 16 year old son to have a paternity test done. There is no coming back from that. I don't know the answer. It's why I'm here. With you. I'm not sure what lays ahead. Work, gym, therapy, my son. But being married to a Borderline, no contact is necessary. …
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 06:07 PM
11

Document everything. Stay the course. Get those kids
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 05:21 PM
7

I find myself often taking up for her even still. Explaining away. Therapist stops me. Asks the right questions. So important to be honest with yourself. She said I had painted a portrait that lived in my head. It didn't exist. The fb highlight real. So few and far between. The reality is it was a living hell 80% of the time. My gut is even better just 3 weeks after leaving or rather, being gaslighted and driven crazy so I would leave. Really crazy stuff even for her. Love to hate instantly. She…
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 05:18 PM
9

She demanded we get married on her bar childs second birthday. Which of course ruined any anniversaries. And that was of course my fault. I adopted her 2 months later. She got pregnant with our son two months after that. He's 16 now. I trust her so little that I took him to get a court allowed paternity test yesterday. I'll know in a week. I hope beyond hope he is mine. I had to do it. For me. We did mediation. If he is mine. It's done. I'll eat it all just to get us away. If he isn't, I'm going…
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 02:49 PM
11

You have to break the trauma bond. You've been abused and have suffered trauma. You need to see a therapist. You have to. To help your brain process the trauma. Save yourself. She stole your identity from you. You have to get it back. Ask your 17 year old self to evaluate where you are now and would 17 year old you approve. What would he tell you? This is serious and you have to accept it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 02:33 PM
8

I've spent the last 17 years with a BPD wife. Stop trying to get back to the great. It's fake. I'm three weeks in now. She obviously found another supply. She hides money. We just bought a home 3 months ago. That was just in hope I would walk away. She went from being my wife to another person I've never met, and I've met several of her personalities, in moments. She hates me now. My son is with me. She has spent about 3 hours with him in 2 weeks. She's taking him out today because we are having…
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 02:23 PM
2

With you all's help, I think I'm working past the grief and despair. It still lingers when I think of the person I loved for so long rolling around with some other dude. But her kids have my last name. I'm f- ing dad. Not Chad. I think I'm entering bitterness and anger. I feel like I want to mind burn her memories. Make her into a tick in the hour of my life. I don't hate women. I guess I just really don't understand them. I may not have time to fulfill their needs. Don't feel like being their t…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 02:55 AM
3

I know mine is. I just can't do it. Not interested. Not a f-ing sport. Women don't really understand I think, that men do the act to show their love. We don't do it to manipulate or to be daring. It's messed up how far apart we've grown. Thanks feminism. Congrats Chad and Tyrone. Enjoy.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 01:54 AM
1

Yeah, I told mine I didn't work for her anymore. Call somebody.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 01:47 AM
1

Well, I have 88 more days until it's final. It was final for her a good time ago, she just forgot to tell me. I had bills to pay. My step daughter brought my son home the other night and said Mom's wild. She's on fire. Great. Thanks. JC! Maybe the afraid to die alone is where we need to start. Change. Idk. We can do that whenever we want, ya know? We obviously don't want the die part. The alone thing. Maybe if we get better at that, we'll be more patient. Wait for her. The BPD chick sucked me ri…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 02:36 AM
2

You've dated 4 girls? Pretty darn good. I've been with this female for 18 years. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do! I don't go to bars. I grew up a long time ago unlike my stbxw. I don't have a bunch of single friends like my stbxw. I work my butt off. I take my son to the gym every other day. I have no idea what to do. Nobody hooks us up. It's easy for them to get layed. They just have to, ya know. Lost man. Im probably gonna die alone.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 01:38 AM
2

Yes. She was determined not to go in front of a judge. My college age step daughter went with her. My son went with me. We are the lucky ones. So many of us don't get that chance. Blessed. She's Borderline. Diagnosed. Im a pretty strong guy. And she almost broke me. I was trying to save her. And was being abused. For two decades I suffered through it. I wish before I die I find a female with a heart. Would love to experience that just once. Put this in wrong place.lol . Comment on main thread wo…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 01:32 AM
3

I've been using this magnesium supplement called Calm. It really helps the all day anxiety. Gym helps me sleep.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 04:55 PM
2

Oh man. So true. She said it. I did it. She wanted it. I made it happen. Honestlycave and campfire is fine with me. They are what we do all this shit for. I just want to be a beach bum. Live in a tent out on the OBX or something.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 12:15 AM
2

Amen. So true. Have no idea who this person is. Met several of her alter egos. This one is totally foreign to me. This one just wants to mess with my head. Signed today. Over in 3 months. Really need no contact says my therapist. All I want is to go back a decade.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 12:05 AM
3

Here with you. In the void. The parallel universe I was forced into. I signed today. It's over. She's happy. Free of me. Worked my ass off for damn year 20 years. So many great times. I mean great. Non of that now. Shit. Grief. Wondering why even try? Have my 16 year old son that split with me. My only reason. Lucky i guess. Most guys to get that chance. So I carry on. My life for him now I suppose.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 12:01 AM
6

54 here. What the hell now? Planned on growing old with my long time wife. She is beautiful and smart and recently successful. I think the recently successful thing but me. Worked her through school. Coached her along. Always telling her how proud I was of her. Bought a new home 3 months ago. She accepted a great new position. Potential. Then out of the blue a grenade. Poof. Gone. Yep. Feel F'd and alone. It was always about her or the kids. Mainly her. Have no idea what to do without the honey …
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 11:54 PM
9

Man, right there with you. Except a couple decades down the road. All those things you said ring so true. The one right now for me that stands out the most is now I'm single. And most of my not very close friends are married. My wife's friends were all single. We signed today by the way. 3 months from now it's legal but as far as she's concerned it ended today. She's happy. Her single friends around her. Out having fun. I'm a family guy. It's been my identity for two decades. So that right now i…
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 11:42 PM
1

You are absolutely right. I'm just 2 weeks in and I get the grey they just want me to not talk about it. I just stay silent and endure at work. My family just wants me to be ok. Get over it and move on. Whatever. Not moving on. She did before I knew about it. So the first thing I did was find a therapist. Second thing I did was found this group. So I'll just be here with you not getting over it. Hurting in silence. I figure if I was a female I would have so much more support. My cheating lying w…
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 02:11 AM
13

She's on the D carousel now. I'm crushed man. My wife broke the news 2 weeks ago. Looking back with the goggles off, it's been planned for at least a year and a half. I love her. She was my best friend. But she tossed me like I was yesterdays trash. As much as I'm hurting. As much as I would want to believe. Want to. It would always be there. Do you want to live with knowing that for the rest of your life? Or maybe a couple years when this happens again? No. Find the one. The one that wouldn't d…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 10:38 PM
5

Absolutely not
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 10:31 PM
5

File now. She's gone. It's over. No mediation. Take her in front of the judge. Tell your story or you are screwed until they turn 18. Save yourself now. Your future self will thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 08:14 PM
1

I'm having a real tough time. Behind up thinking about my wife of 18 years rolling around with another dude. Laughing. Something she stopped doing with me. Was s chore to her. I had to jump thru her hoops.I think maybe that's our biggest hurdle. What bogs is down. So maybe when we start to go there, know it, stop it, and start thinking of ourselves doing the same. Meeting someone. Someone that digs us. Feeling nervous again in a good way though. We are now the one laughing and rolling around. I …
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 12:36 AM
1

I know this group is helping me. Maybe just a little. But just heating you guys going thru the exact same thing makes me feel just a little less alone and isolated. The thing our wives wanted us to be all along. I'm here now too. Sending some brother love your way. Had 18 years in it. Gone in 30 seconds
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 12:28 AM
2

Me too
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 12:20 AM
1

No shit. We all needed that advice. Hard to swallow but big truth.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 11:56 PM
3

She hold me two weeks ago. And as I look back. Even the way she looked at me when I would take a picture. The cryptic texts that I was stupid to interpret. I think it's been in the planning for at least a year and a half. Maybe more. The last time we made love left me empty, wondering what was up. And now s person I don't know. Never met her. And she's mental. Met a few different people along the way. But this one is cold and ruthless. Big hug brother. You didn't deserve it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 11:48 PM
1

Wife of 18 years did the exact same thing to me 2 weeks ago. Bought a house 3 months ago. Spent a month and around 20k working on it. Been in it two months. She brings the kids in and boom. It's over. House was on the market s day. Sold. Close in 2 weeks. Sign divorce papers Monday. Dude, my head is jacked. In therapy. It's hard to keep it together at work. Or anywhere. Mind blown. 18 years. So many wonderful memories. Great times. Hard times too. Thought that was what made us stronger. She feel…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 11:40 PM
3

2 years in? I'm 2 weeks in and feel the exact same way. Same situation. She threw a grenade out of the blue and destroyed our family. Now she's seeking sympathy on social media. My family is on that. I haven't done any such thing. Trying to be sane about it. I don't want to carry a bunch of hate around with me. But she is so good. So good at messing with my head. I had a pretty bad time of it. She's celebrating. How do we comprehend that? We can't. We need to stop trying. Maybe someday we'll mee…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 10:32 PM
2

Haven't. In therapy to deal with trauma from a trauma bond.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 08:26 PM
1

I'm two weeks in friend. In the same boat. I thought everything was going great. We had just bought our third home. One month of non stop work and two months living in it. She came home. Was in a good mood. Then later she broke the news. She felt no connection and wanted a divorce. House sold yesterday. Sign papers next week. She's already contingent on another home. Blindsided. Crushed. I just look at our old pictures. The great times. We were tight. I have my son with me now. She became anothe…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 06:11 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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