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groovygirl858 Archive

View 0 posts and 453 comments by groovygirl858 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Well, to be honest, if a guy decides he wants to choose me for a relationship, over all his other options, based solely on my ability to orgasm easily in five minutes, I don't want him. That's a pretty flimsy basis for a long term relationship. Sexual compatibility is important, but this criteria is like announcing you are a lazy lover. As far as your edit, I agree that it's unfair to blame men for all of women's orgasm woes. It's not as simple as saying it's just men or just women at fault. At …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 07:18 PM
1

So your ex was crying before or after you told him about fucking someone else? If it was the latter, that's pretty merciless lol Both. He was crying to his best friend before I fucked someone else and then he was crying to me after I told him I fucked someone else. For different reasons, of course. My goal was to end the relationship. It's just, instead of just breaking up with him because of his indecision; I decided to go scorched earth on the relationship and did what I did. He, unfortunately…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 01:12 AM
1

Revenge. Had sex with a friend just so I could tell my boyfriend about it the next day. I was 18 and just wanting to hurt him as much as possible. Which was pretty shitty of me because I wasn't seeking revenge for him cheating on me. I found out he was crying his eyes out to his best friend because, "I love groovygirl858 and don't want to lose her but we are too young to settle down and other girl likes me." He was literally crying tears about it and it pissed me off beyond belief. You crying be…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 12:30 AM
1

Almost three months was the longest I have gone without sex and it wasn't a struggle at all, but it was by choice. Maybe that's why it wasn't a struggle? I had gotten out of an almost four year relationship and wasn't interested in committing to another relationship, but wasn't okay with giving up steady sex. I quickly acquired two FWBs while I was single. After about a year and a half of being single, I met my now husband and ended the FWBs situations as soon as I developed an interest in poten…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 01:33 PM
1

No. My point is that the concept of different leagues for fat and skinny women is false. It's not preaching to OP's choir because he's making a distinction between fat and skinny women and making the assumption if a skinny girl isn't in his league, then a fat one should be. He doesn't think anything of the football player going after the skinny women, but he thinks the football player going after fat women is hurting his dating chances because those women, in his opinion, should be in his league…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 10:11 AM
2

Oh my goodness, don't do this! Haha! It will repeal most, but some will be desperate enough to take you up on it!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 03:57 AM
1

It doesn't matter if you have a bad pokerface. Just saying you are in a relationship works. It works better than a simple no. The small percentage of guys who keep pursuing after that, say, "I'm not that kind of woman" meaning you aren't the cheating type. If he still pursues after that, you shouldn't be worried about being nice anymore and tell him to, "please leave me alone."
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 03:56 AM
4

It's astounding. Does this person even exist anywhere in real life? Maybe a handful. Definitely not the norm. It's just OP's fantasy life.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 01:40 AM
4

Am woman. Can confirm. They don't care about these things and not just because they are largely untrue.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 12:56 AM
2

Well, on this sub, both express anger at women.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 12:51 AM
2

I've been married over 15 years. Before that, I never once wondered where all the good men were because I had no trouble finding men. You guys spend way too much time projecting untruths onto women.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 12:50 AM
1

That makes me want to vomit. Men online or real life men told you that? Because men online don't represent most men. But if multiple real-life men told you that, I'm concerned for the children where you live.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/22 10:31 PM
1

I’ll give you a perfect example; Matt Damon married a a bartender. Boom. My next door neighbor is a doctor and his wife doesn’t even work. Rockstar Deryck Whibley married an unknown model. Will Smith married failed actress Jada Pickett. in fact here’s a list to make it easier for you Matt Damon and maybe a handful on that list are the only ones that "disprove" the assertion that people typically marry within their social class. But the poster said that the majority of people marry within their s…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/22 10:18 PM
3

Your therapy didn't "work" if violence is your default state.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/22 08:58 PM
3

Where did I say they couldn't find women to meet their standards? You are the one who used the term "voluntarily single." The term "single" implies they are single. I don't care if this wave of fit, high income men swear off all western women; they just don't need to be angry at them while doing so just because these women don't meet their standards. When I was dating, I refused to date men in the armed services but I wasn't angry at these men for not meeting my dating criteria.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/22 08:48 PM
3

Doesn't matter if they are voluntarily or involuntarily single when the anger is still there. Lots of men who are voluntarily single because of "not wanting a western woman" are just as angry as the involuntarily single men because they blame the women for not being "good enough" for them. Be single but don't blame others for not meeting your standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/22 07:59 PM
2

These men that walk into random schools, shoot up random grocery stores and salons really take their anger and point it at anyone. You do have a point, these men are being raised by single moms, but I think the issue is a bit more nuanced than that. Correct. Because they feel entitled to sex and relationships and they blame all of society for not providing it to them. They target everyone because they believe everyone contributes to their "neglect."
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/22 07:56 PM
6

Because violence is the default state. I need to be convinced not to be violent. My non violence comes as a price. I know I can do damage. That social contract is that I will cause no trouble even if I could and in exchange I get a fair chance and opportunity to be happy. That includes sex. I'm being sincere here when I say: you need mental health services. You should not have to be convinced to be nonviolent. It shouldn't be the default state. There are countless sex toys. Use them. If sex toys…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/22 07:52 PM
-1

I agree it is definitely an entitlement problem, more than anything else.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/22 07:36 PM
2

I think the solution is mental health services and medication.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/22 07:32 PM
7

Great response. I completely agree. Just wanted to second that it is a bizarre talking point. It's the same as people complaining that their taxes go towards schools or roads even when they don't have children or drive vehicles. I get a little voter guide in my mailbox every election that states in fine print on the bottom how much taxpayer money was spent to print it. Do all the people who aren't registered to vote in my state have a valid complaint that their taxes paid for that even though th…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/22 06:52 PM
1

The reason you see this difference is because, in general, these women do not feel entitled to men so they aren't getting angry about their situation. They internalize their situation and blame themselves, more often than not, or they just accept that "this is the way it is." These men, on the other hand, feel entitled to women and blame women for not wanting them. They see their situation as a fault of society and are angry society has let this situation happen to them. Again, this is in genera…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/22 06:44 PM
4

You're exactly right. They are all deluded and think themselves better than people who are in casual relationships or cheat. They just want to cheat with permission; that's it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/22 06:17 PM
4

Because in a monogamous relationship, both partners are having sex with no one else. In the relationship you are proposing, you want to place limits on your partner but not on yourself. That makes it controlling. Saying, "I can have sex with other women and you can have sex with other woman, but it's not okay for you to have sex with other men" is controlling. The only way it wouldn't be controlling is if the limits were the same for both so, "I can have sex with men, but not other women and you…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/22 06:14 PM
1

The relationship is specifically designed that way because they want to be in a "committed" relationship without actually committing. They don't want to "give up" sex with other people. It's literally wanting to cheat but wanting it to be accepted. These people try to figure out at the outset of a relationship if their partner will be okay with cheating (having sex with others) and if their partner isn't onboard, they will try to convince them why it's not a big deal/the best type of relationshi…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 07:07 PM
2

No. I'm using it for people in committed relationships or supposed committed relationships who sleep with other people. It isn't cheating if you aren't in a relationship with someone and you sleep with multiple people.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 05:47 PM
1

I've seen obese men with active dating lives. I've seen obese men with zero dating life. The difference between the two was personality and social skills. There were little to no differences in social status. People on this sub discount it when women here say personality and chemistry are important factors but they are very important. I agree it's more difficult for an obese man than an obese woman, but it's not hopeless.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 05:22 PM
2

Not one poly relationship I've observed or been aware of in real life was healthy and the cheating wasn't as "accepted" as they tried to make it seem. In fact, jealously eventually broke most of them up. It was insane to witness the mental gymnastics, being a casual observer, knowing their relationship was eventually going to blow up. Even in their rationale, they would contradict themselves. And the ones who didn't break up due to jealousy, the reason being poly "worked" was because the individ…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 04:44 PM
1

I completely agree with you about not gaining weight or losing weight to conform to temporary beauty standards. I feel like some women's self-esteem/confidence is too closely tied to with how well they conform to whatever beauty standard is prevalent at any given time and it's not healthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 04:36 PM
2

You got it right the first time. Most poly people just want to cheat but want it to be "accepted." The rationalizations and mental gymnastics they use would be hilarious if they weren't serious.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 05:41 AM
7

I've had the same experiences. I had one "friend" express utter disbelief at my confidence with men and say to my face she didn't understand how a man could "want a fat girl." This "friend" was quite attractive and had many male admirers. I never understood why my confidence bothered her so much. She even went so far as to observe a guy who I told her liked me and I was flirting with to see if he really liked me. She said, "he really does like you. He only had eyes for you," while she was starin…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 02:01 AM
12

Yep, I've done it minus the sex as well. And yeah, too many women think they are better than other women based on physical characteristics and it's disgusting and shallow.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 12:46 AM
7

I'm not saying you should be "worried" about other women. I don't worry about other women either, but not because I think I am above them. But voicing that attitude, that fat women are not on the same playing field as you, that opens you up to a fat woman wanting to teach you a lesson. It IS insulting to say fat women are not on the same field as you because you are implying you are better than fat women. You aren't just stating a preference. You are ranking yourself as "above" other women. Pref…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 09:53 PM
17

I'm not being sarcastic in any way, but I know I will be accused of it. If you are still dating, don't ever say this to a fat woman you know. It will be in your best interest. If you let her know you think this, she might fuck and/or steal your man. As a fat woman, I have done it and I know other fat women who have done it. I'm not proud of it (it was in my younger days), but it does happen. You play on the same field as fat women whether you like it or not and women with the attitude that they …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 08:55 PM
1

I might be surprised if I didn't have a clue he wore a hair piece, but I wouldn't feel betrayed or deceived. I wouldn't think anything of it and would still date him.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/22 03:46 AM
7

Way more people regret wasting years of their lives with someone who didn't make them happy. Except in the case of abuse, it's really simple: are you in love? Love is hard to find. You don't want to throw it away over something petty. But if you aren't in love, don't waste more of your precious time.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/22 06:29 AM
2

There is much that can be said to explain why getting a prostitute is different from a hookup, but it's such a ridiculous notion to try to say they are the same, it's not worth the time to type it all out. If you truly think the internal feelings one has about paying another person to have sex with them versus obtaining a random hookup is the exact same, then I do not know what to tell you. Not only is the internal feelings different for the person paying someone to have sex with them versus obt…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/22 07:05 AM
1

Relationships aren't healthy without it. If you can't be yourself and you can't have fun and joke around with each other, why even be in a relationship? A relationship without that aspect is pretty shallow, in my opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/22 03:00 AM
5

What you described is nothing like prostitution. I'm not sure what point you are trying to make, but you are losing people by saying a hook-up is like prostitution.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/22 01:54 AM
2

Okay, but what if you have no social circle? My very first sentence was: "build a social circle." If you don't have one, build one. What if you’re not confident or charming and lack a sense of humor? Research how to be confident, charming and funny. There are people who are naturally all these things, but one can learn how to be these things as well. Google: How to build confidence, How to be confident, How to be charming, Traits of a charming person, How to be funny, How to cultivate a sense of…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/22 05:54 PM
1

So, you are just assuming that communication about values without divulging n counts would involve lying? My whole point is that communication about values would inform you about their n count without actually getting the concrete details until your relationship has progressed. You're just assuming that the communication about values will not line up to the woman's n count. Which makes no sense. If you don't believe what she tells you about her values, then why would you believe her when she tel…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/22 05:45 AM
0

You are being deliberately obtuse. I clearly said it is acceptable to ask someone about their values in life and about their values with relationships, dating and sex. Having clear communication about values and opinions regarding sex and relationships does not equal divulging specific sexual history information.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/22 11:49 PM
0

Hahaha! Thanks for the laugh. I'm not insecure and I certainly don't play games. I'm a proponent of clear communication. I don't have to "pick one." What I said stands and makes sense for relationships. I advocate communication to get to know each other better without asking questions that violate reasonable boundaries. No one is entitled to specific sexual history information until they are in a serious relationship with someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/22 11:38 PM
0

I completely agree. It amazes me how people don't see this. I mean, I have known men with absolutely nothing going for them who had no problem finding women to date. Women too, actually. If those people can date, anyone can date. Barring an unequal population distribution of men to women, if someone can't find anyone, it's them.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/22 11:18 PM
8

This is exactly right. Those things cannot be determined with just one simple conversation most of the time. Sounds like OP is mixing up mutual attraction, genuine interest and chemistry with lust.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/22 07:28 PM
25

So, you are blaming the woman for being "deluded" because she didn't pursue you after one conversation? Wow. I thought you originally were just blaming her "too many options", which was ridiculous enough as it is. So, if a woman feels a genuine, mutual attraction and chemistry with you, she is highly likely to pursue you unless there are external factors at play such as she isn't looking for a relationship or she's already invested in someone else/in a relationship. Perhaps what you are interpre…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/22 07:24 PM
0

No, it is not manipulative. It is only manipulative if someone is purposely holding back information that they know would cause someone to back out of a relationship until they feel like they have them "on the hook." That is not the behavior that I am speaking of. I am talking about how someone is not entitled to that information until we're in a serious relationship. It's just not anyone's business. I'm not being manipulative; a guy is just not entitled to that information at the very beginning…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/22 06:57 PM
0

20 Signs You’re A Charming Person Though You Are Not Aware 11 Interesting Habits Of Charming People That is just two of the articles that came up when I googled "charming." I'm sure you can find more just by googling "how to be charming." Being charming and funny means being friendly, pleasant, likeable, confident and witty. You don't have to be a comedian to banter back and forth with others or make a witty observation or comment, but making someone laugh and/or smile goes a long way. Being fun…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/22 06:46 PM
1

Excellent advice! Wise words from someone who has lived. Men looking for advice on finding a partner should take notes from this comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/22 06:27 PM
12

Even if I was single, no. I'm not sexually attracted to any of them anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/22 12:07 AM
13

Build a social circle. Be confident, charming and funny, but not cocky. I wouldn't use dating apps. The most successful with women guys I have ever known didn't go out of their way to meet women. They were just charming and funny in their everyday lives and had a social circle where they interacted with people. It's important to note that these men were charismatic and were charming with everyone they interacted with, not just females they wanted to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/22 11:58 PM
3

I agree that it is important to have the same values as a partner, but there are ways to determine compatibility in this area without outright asking for a woman's number of sexual partners right at the beginning of a relationship. Actually asking for the number of past sexual partners before even really getting to know each other is rude and, frankly, not a man's business at that point. Just like it's not the woman's business at that point. You know the quickest way a man can determine compatib…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/22 11:33 PM
3

IMO, yes. Everyone is responsible for their own sexual health and if they feel the need to ask for a STD test, I think that's perfectly acceptable. As long as they are willing to take one too. With that being said, this is only acceptable if you are at the point in a relationship where sex is on the table/being discussed. Ask for a STD test during the "talking" stage? No. Not ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/22 11:23 PM
3

I agree with this. This line of thinking goes back to treating relationships as transactional. Instead of viewing a human being as a person, they view them as the sum of a whole bunch of criteria.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/22 11:16 PM
7

I, personally, do not mind being asked about my sexual history if I'm in a relationship with somebody but I do mind if they ask upfront. My sexual history is nobody's business unless we are in a serious relationship and I do not believe anybody else's sexual history is my business unless I'm in a serious relationship with them. Then I agree it's pertinent information. First date or before a first date? I wouldn't dream of asking and I couldn't imagine being asked that early. It has nothing to do…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/22 11:12 PM
0

And? That means I know what I am talking about. I never struggled with dating and had plenty of options of both fit and fat men. The way this sub talks, a fat woman can't get a man to date her or commit, but I have had four men want to marry me, not including my husband. Three were fit, one was fat. But my experience isn't a unique one for fat women. I'm not extraordinarily beautiful; there isn't anything special about me. The simple fact is that plenty of men are attracted to fat women. Other t…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/22 09:33 PM
1

You obviously have no idea what "objective" means. You are incorrect. The Difference Between Subjective and Objective Information
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/22 06:37 AM
2

Your example literally proved sexiness is subjective instead of objective. If sexiness was objective, 100 out of 100 would have the same response. Fat being unsexy or sexy is a subjective opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/22 05:26 AM
8

It doesn't bother me most of the time, but I'm from a region where this is incredibly common. I'm used to it and, most of the time, nothing is meant by it. Only time I don't like it is when a man uses "honey, baby, sugar" while being sexually inappropriate or flirting too aggressively because, then, it's used in a demeaning, disrespectful way.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/22 04:09 AM
16

I agree that most women are not having sex with tons of men. There are some who do, but they are in the minority. As far as casual sex, I feel like most women do engage in casual sex at some point, however, you are correct that most of those women are getting casual sex from FWB arrangements or people they know. One night stands/stranger hookups are something a small percentage of women engage in. If men focus on obtaining stranger hookups, they are going to have to go to the places people meet …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/22 03:59 AM
1

We won't come to understanding You are correct. My point is its bad that we teach younger generation of women this settling in your 30s after playing around mindset. Zoomer generation is way diffrent because of easy access to information that internet give to them. Will have to agree to disagree. I think it's sound advice for men and women both to wait until their 30s to get married for reasons that have nothing to do with "playing around." Its about chipping away the incentive structure for rel…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/22 12:50 AM
5

Considering the general consensus among both men and women is that sex in a relationship is vastly different from casual sex, I'm going to assume you are purposefully being obtuse or don't have enough sexual experience to know the difference between the two.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 07:41 PM
1

I understand just fine. The reason the marriage rate has continued to go down is because of many factors, not just one thing. But some men on this sub try to act like it's because sexless men are taking a stand, which is far from the case.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 07:34 PM
2

My god Im talking about men i know. That isn't what you said. You said "vast majority of men" several times (even in caps in case we didn't get the point) and "average men." And your revenge fantasy outlines what's going to happen because the "average" man or "vast majority of men" think like what you outlined in your comment. But they don't. You women always use this "revenge fantasy" "not in real live! bullshit". You just call it a revenge fantasy because vast majority of women who think like …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 07:24 PM
7

I'm married, but before I was married, I did not struggle to get sex and I did not struggle to get good sex. Since I've been married, it's been obvious I still would not struggle to get sex if I wanted, as I suspect is most women's experience. The majority of women do not struggle to get sex. The only women I've known in real life who struggled to get sex were held back by lack of socialization or social awkwardness. As far as struggling to get "good sex", it's not something I've personally expe…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 05:55 PM
6

That's quite the leap there. Not being into casual sex makes someone asexual? Plenty of people enjoy sex just fine, but are repulsed by the idea of casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 03:40 PM
5

This is nothing more than revenge fantasy. It's obvious your "vast majority" is internet communities that consist of men who think like you do. If you step into reality, you will find that men want to be in relationships with women, with some studies even finding that men desire relationships more than women.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 03:36 PM
1

I don't agree. "Ugly" women, fat or skinny, seem to be able to date and marry just fine. Just look around at couples and you will see plenty of "ugly" people in relationships. Besides that, I've known plenty of "ugly" women who never had trouble finding dates. Beauty is subjective and one person's ugly is another person's pretty. The recent threads on this sub rating men and women showed how subjective looks are, with ratings varying for each person depending on each poster's preferences. Beside…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 02:55 PM
5

This post is ridiculous. You're allowed to have standards, but blaming others for not meeting your standards is too far. Why are you concerned about fat women if you don't want to date them? Ignore them and focus on the women you do want to date. Fat people haven't "decimated" anything. Fat women will do just fine without you. I don't know where this sub gets the idea that fat women don't have options, but fat and fit men both date fat women.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 07:12 AM
3

This is true. This sub acts like fat women have no options but that simply isn't the case. Many fat women have no trouble dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 06:49 AM
7

So glad to finally see this comment because I was wondering the same thing. Average weight people date fat people all the time, so OP makes no sense to me. I can only assume he is only getting interest from fat women, but he doesn't want to date fat women and instead of just thinking, "that's unfortunate; what can I do to find women I am interested in dating", he is blaming the fat women. Which is ridiculous.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 06:19 AM
2

No, it is really not. It's your distorted perception. You take the behavior of a minority of women and apply it to all women.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/22 07:05 PM
1

This isn't true. Besides the idea of limiting casual sex being completely ludicrous, it wouldn't work for at least two reasons. First, if your argument is that a large percentage of women are content being in FWB arrangements now with a small percentage of men (which isn't true), then they will also be fine with being the "side pieces" of the high value men they used to hook up with. You talk as if shifting to being relationship oriented means that people will not cheat. Second, it's been proven…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/22 06:41 PM
2

Your "observed reality" is not reality. It's simply not the case. Some men on this sub have concocted their own version of reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/22 05:18 PM
4

It's not selfish to make a responsible decision to not have children because you prioritize other things in your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/22 05:03 PM
3

I completely agree with all of this. And I would add that in any society, when standard of living goes up, birth rates go down. It's not irresponsible at all to wait to have children. In fact, it's more responsible to wait to have children for when one is ready emotionally and financially.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/22 04:53 PM
3

This is true, but I also think women get it twisted. It should be: "most men want sex." The "only" needs to be left out. Whether or not most men a woman encounters wants only sex or not depends on what type of man she goes after.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/22 04:34 PM
2

Studies have shown the percentage of men and women who lie about their numbers. Not everyone lies about their numbers. And, like I said, they account for that in reporting their findings. Everything else you said is just woman-hating garbage not based in reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/22 04:27 PM
3

Nobody is saying it's "because someone else things they should". It's because they are demanding too much compared to what they have to offer. This is literally "because someone else thinks they should." Someone is looking at their subjective assessment of what someone else has to offer and weighing it against what that person is "demanding" in a partner and determining that person needs to lower their standards. No. Everyone is allowed to have whatever standards they want. When you say, "Women …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/22 09:45 AM
3

Studies have shown women are far more likely to downplay their n count on surverys while men tend to exaggerate theirs. I know. That's why I acknowledged this fact. Many studies also address this fact when reporting results. As a whole, studies consistently have similar findings despite the fact their sample size is comprised of different individuals. That consistency demonstrates the findings are valid.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/22 05:25 AM
7

I appreciate that you have actual sites you went to but these studies aren’t studies. They don’t provide any methodology for criteria. Yes, they are. The mindbodygreen article literally links several studies that provide methodology. And two of the other links also provide methodology or links to the studies. the fact that you have mind body green in their tells a lot about what you understand about research and gathering data. No, it speaks to how much time I'm going to put into posting on Redd…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/22 03:54 AM
11

I swear if I wasn’t aware of any actual facts You apparently aren't. Where are you getting these statistics? Any actual study done regarding number of sexual partners in a lifetime. Google it and you literally will find study after study supporting OP. Here's a sample: 4-6 partners 7.2 partners 4-8 partners "It varies a lot. There's a lot of research on lifetime sexual partners, and any given study will give you slightly different numbers. But in general, anywhere between 4 and 8 partners is con…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/22 03:20 AM
2

This isn't reality. Yes, there are women who lie about their number of sexual partners. But the numbers aren't that far off for any given study. There's a reason why the studies are consistent. It isn't like all us women got together and agreed on a lie to tell. It's because the women who lie about their number do not make a meaningful impact on the data. 90 percent of women have NOT had sex with 10 guys by age 35 and done stuff with more than 20. That's a ludicrous statement.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/22 03:09 AM
5

You are correct. Your post is supported by numerous studies and also is evidenced by observing society. Some people only take notice to women on the upper end of the spectrum and ignore women who aren't promiscuous, giving them a false sense that "everyone" has a high number of sexual partners. It also has been my experience that women with a high number of sexual partners are more likely to insist it is "normal."
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/22 03:00 AM
7

Women understand that point, but it doesn't change anything. No one should lower their standards just because someone else thinks they should. Women are allowed to have standards. Men are allowed to have standards. If your standards mean you have trouble finding a partner, it's up to you to determine whether you want to keep your standards or not, no matter if you are a man or a woman. It's not anyone's responsibility to meet your standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/22 10:36 PM
1

I didn't say those were the same women who would claim they would rather be ignored. Your premise suggested women who wear no makeup, wear unattractive clothes, etc. get ignored and would receive no attention from men, which isn't the case. That was my point. But, with that being said, yes, even some of those women would say they get too much attention. Depends on environment.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/22 10:05 PM
3

Wow. This shows me how much interaction you get with women. I know women who wear no makeup, do absolutely nothing with her hair, have little to no teeth, wear unflattering clothing, are overweight and they still get attention from men. In fact, my favorite description I ever heard of some of these women I used to work with was, "where do they get those three hair, two teeth women that work at night?" Getting attention from men is not hard. Looking attractive is not a prerequisite for getting at…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/22 08:11 PM
10

Lots of women would rather be ignored, yes. Lots. Not me, but I know lots of women who would prefer to be ignored. It's not objectively better to be approached all the time. It's a subjective opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/22 05:31 PM
4

This is correct. Women approach all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/22 05:27 PM
26

I think a lot of women who have no strings attached sex have this experience. I think guys want relationships just as much, if not more than, women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/22 05:24 PM
1

Nothing in the description you gave of entitlement mentions time. Again, you're just making things up to win the argument. The reason someone is entitled to certain benefits at a job, say a vesting schedule, is because it was included in the initial contract. They are entitled to it, because both parties agreed on it. I'm not making things up. I literally described what entitlement is and said it can have a time component. People can feel entitled to things because of how much time they put into…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/21 04:55 AM
1

You haven't explained anything. You just talked over me and said 'No what you really mean is something you didn't say." No. I explained. I could agree with that, but you'd have to admit that people who make each other visibly horny generally have sex soon after, in the vast majority of cases. What you're saying is only slightly different from what I'm saying, it's certainly not a major departure from the theme of my argument. Most people who are clearly getting horny are also fucking. If we are …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/21 04:10 AM
1

It's not an untruth. You yourself acknowledge the problem occurs. It's about risk tolerance. I don't want or need a virgin. My wife isn't a virgin. But if she treated me differently than her ex's I wouldn't have continued seeing her. No, I do not acknowledge "the problem" occurs. My whole point is there is no "problem." It IS an untruth to say if a woman doesn't have sex immediately, it means she isn't attracted. That's the untruth. And I haven't been talking about virgins. I completely understa…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/21 03:44 AM
2

Exactly. And that's the bare minimum of someone you just wanted to have sex with, much less someone you actually liked.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/21 01:38 AM
1

Please find me some definition of entitlement that has a time component. You're just making shit up to win the argument at this point. No, I am not making anything up. Entitlement is having a right to something or being deserving of special treatment. Time can definitely be a component. An example would be employment benefits. A lot of companies don't give certain benefits until an employee has worked there a certain amount of time. People feel they are entitled to all sorts of things based on t…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/21 01:33 AM
1

I've corrected you three times, and you still insist on swinging at strawman. Do you man, I won't stop you. No, it's not a straw man. It's the truth. You aren't "correcting" me. I have already explained to you why your claim is false. Do you agree or disagree that sex is the best indicator of physical attraction? If yes, then my point stands. If no, then I'd love to hear what you think is a better indicator. No, I do not agree. The best indicator of physical attraction is horniness. I don't need…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 11:25 PM
1

Haha wanting something isn't entitlement. You aren't entitled to love, yet I'm guessing most women would not want to be in a relationship where their partner didn't love them. According to your definitions, that's entitlement. No, it isn't. I wouldn't expect someone I just started seeing to love me. If I did, that would be entitlement because they don't even know me yet to love me. That's ridiculous. We aren't talking about established relationships here, we are talking about the beginning of a …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 10:53 PM
4

I completely agree. Any man interested wouldn't go a month without texting, much less three months. Heck, they wouldn't even go a whole month!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 10:33 PM
1

Then move along, if you have no argument to make. This post wasn't about that subject and I have no desire to stray off-topic. I can choose to ignore your other assertions. Nope. I said sex was the best indicator of physical attraction. I don't think any reasonable person would disagree with this. If you're going to keep talking over me and fight strawmen, go do it with someone else. I'm not talking over you or making a straw man argument. I merely pointed out that your claim that sex is the onl…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 10:31 PM
1

Clearly you don't. No one is entitled to anything. However, people are free to advocate for what they want in a relationship and avoid risky behavior. Yes, I do. You are arguing that men are entitled to sex with non-virgin women immediately because they have had sex with other men before. You can try to dress it up as advocating for what you want in a relationship all you want but it is you feeling entitled to sex because she's had it with someone else before you. Period. Not having sex with you…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 09:05 PM
1

I said I'm not going to debate with you about the most important component of a relationship because it's futile. Nope. Either deal with my arguments as I've presented them or move along. No. Not when your arguments don't make sense. Your arguments are placing sex as the most important component of a relationship, not attraction. You don't care if a woman is actually attracted to you if she isn't having sex with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 08:57 PM
1

Then why are you getting mad about it? Let people have preferences and move along. I'm not mad. Just pointing out how this "preference" is based on untruths. A preference for something objective makes more sense than a preference for a behavior that is based on nonsense. You are saying that a non-virgin woman who does not have sex with you immediately is not attracted to you and that is false. You can have a preference for a non-virgin woman who will not make you wait for sex but don't frame it …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 08:49 PM
2

I agree with this. I would never go out with a complete stranger either, which is why I always declined cold approaches. Some women don't mind it, but it's been my experience that most women do not like cold approaches because of this reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 07:59 PM
1

I don't like cold approaches at all but I agree with this. There is no point in getting indignant over it. Just be polite, say no and go on with life. As long as the man is respectful, there's no problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 07:57 PM
1

I have. And also by men who were both unattractive and creepy. It is not true that women only find a man creepy if he's unattractive. Good-looking men can definitely be creepy.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 07:54 PM
1

I don't like being cold approached in public and would always turn the man down. Always. No exceptions. I don't mind men being friendly with me in public and flirting a bit. I won't be rude unless they are being inappropriate with me. I try to always be friendly and polite, but I would not give my number to a stranger who cold approaches me in public. I'm married so I definitely don't these days, but before I was married, I always turned down men who cold approached in public. ETA: when I say "i…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 07:46 PM
1

I agree it's best for you to avoid women who don't meet your requirements. It's best for the women as well as yourself. No one talked about being a mind reader. Communication is important in a relationship. But I know a lot of men on here don't want to listen to what women say because they think all women are liars. I just think it's best for men who think like that to avoid women all together because they obviously hate women. Just like I think that women who think that all men are liars should…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 07:26 PM
1

I'm not even going to debate with you about what's the most important component of a relationship because it's futile, but any relationship based predominantly on physical attraction is shallow and has a high likelihood to fail. No, you are putting sex before anything, not attraction. You are using sex as the only benchmark to determine whether someone is attracted to you or not and that is faulty. Human beings show attraction to another person in more ways than just sex and many people will wai…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 07:17 PM
1

You don't know what entitlement means, clearly. Yes, I do. And your comment reeked of it. Good thing no one said that. Never said they did. I said it's the thought process that arrives to that conclusion. Right, there's a reason divorce rates are so high. Good thing men are starting to wake up. Divorce rates being high have nothing to do with men "waking up." Most divorces are initiated by women.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 07:09 PM
3

It's more common among religious men, but you are exactly right. It's not a thing like people here try to make it seem.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 06:58 PM
2

Love isn't a choice and if it feels like effort to "love" your partner, you aren't with the right person. Attraction doesn't have to wane in LTR. Again, if someone has to work at being attracted to their partner, they are not with the right person. Being loyal is a choice and being in a relationship is a choice but love and attraction should be effortless in a healthy relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 06:32 PM
10

Exactly. It's disgusting. And I've also noticed the men who usually claim they had no control and are just mindless animals also are the ones who claim women are irrational and men are logical. So, their minds work, but just not when sex is concerned? I'm just glad most men aren't like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 06:02 PM
3

I can say straight up every woman I've given less effort to was flat out because I never enjoyed being around them in the first place. Most guys I know can say the same. I've had a lot of male friends throughout my life and this is exactly what's been consistent with all of them. If they like a woman, they put in the effort. If they don't like her, they don't. It's really that simple. And the amount of effort they put in directly correlates with how much they like her. Communication is very impo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 05:43 PM
9

This is exactly right. Many men are capable of showing love and appreciation on a consistent basis. The men who don't, by the time they get around to the "grand gesture", the relationship may be past the point of no return. Also, many men put the exact amount of effort in depending on how important the relationship is to them. It's a good measure of how "into you" they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 05:35 PM
2

I think it's important to know if you're dating a man with those expectations though so you can stop wasting your time. I agree you want someone who will decide if they like you or not without knowing your sexual past.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 07:55 AM
2

No, no. Women need to be honest so they can weed out the men who would hold their past against them. If they don't want to divulge because they are not comfortable with that man yet, then that's acceptable. But they want to be able to weed out any man who would even want to enforce purity culture on women. Most men aren't like that and it's important to not waste time on men that are. Plus, it's important to be honest with your partners. Either be honest or decline to answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 07:50 AM
0

Sex is absolutely a way women can lie to get what they want but some men on here don't care about that as long as they are getting laid. They will accept those "lies" as truth and then act like victims when everything goes to shit. To try to frame it as sex is the only way men can know for sure a woman is into them is laughable. Not all women are the same, just like not all men are the same. Trying to apply one standard to all women is based on faulty logic. Some women wait awhile before having …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 07:32 AM
1

The whole problem with your line of thinking is you are placing sex as most important above all else to the point that it appears as if it's the only thing desired in a woman. A woman looking for a relationship doesn't want a man who only wants sex from her. But, like I said before, I just hope everyone with this thought process is honest so the women can move on.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 07:16 AM
3

I don't understand why you think the only way you can treat people who you're dating the same is by either not sleeping with any of them, or sleeping with them all right away. This is exactly what he and others like him are saying and it's completely ridiculous. There's no understanding it because it's not how relationships work.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 07:06 AM
2

Exactly. Never met a man in real life who cared about this.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 07:02 AM
3

My only hope is that men who think like this disclose this line of thinking to the women they date. That way, those women can move on to someone else. Entitlement to sex is one of the most disgusting things I read on this sub. The thought process one has to have to think once a woman has sex, she should just be willing to have sex immediately with every man she dates looks at women as sex objects worth nothing more than a living Fleshlight. It takes the human and emotional elements out of dating…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 06:59 AM
1

Well, there you go. Lol. I've known people like that; just not the majority of people I've met. Most people are nosy and want to know details. Lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/21 12:36 AM
2

You aren't ditching him over a miscommunication though. You said you were going to ditch him either way. The miscommunication is irrelevant and didn't effect your decision. Only thing making it relevant is your intention to tell others of your perception of his actions. Which, in my social circle, almost everyone would ask if you asked him for clarification. "What did he say when you asked?" or "Did you ask him why he asked you out if he didn't want a relationship?" I mean, it's normal to ask.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/21 10:30 PM
2

People's differing opinions on this stuff is why communication is so important. People need to talk and listen when others talk because one person's "I'm doing this calls you're a friend I'm having sex with" is another person's "they must really want a relationship with me." Heck, even a person's "I'm doing this calls I'm friends with you" can be another person's "they must want a relationship with me" even when no sex is involved. That's why the situation happens where one person misreads thing…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/21 09:17 PM
1

That is correct. Friends don't date. What people in these comments are calling "dates" is what I am talking about. Most FWB don't consider it "dates" but I am using the term for simplicity of discussion. Most FWB do things friends would do plus sex/kissing/flirting. They go out and do what friends do and add in kissing, handholding, flirting. Sometimes, one may pay for the other, just like a lot of friends do. I don't consider it "dates" amongst FWB but, apparently, some people do.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/21 05:43 PM
-4

I had no doubt they are fine. You just didn't deserve them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/21 04:12 PM
2

Wish you had told the women this was what you thought about them so that you could have remained a virgin.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/21 03:01 PM
1

Female. I'm 40 now. Lost virginity at 15 to my boyfriend at the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/21 02:51 PM
1

That's fine. But most people consider themselves single unless they've had an official relationship talk with someone, no matter how many people they are going on dates with.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/21 07:55 AM
1

Well, the original conversation was about FWB. It's pretty common for FWB to go out on dates even though it's been made clear there's no relationship on the table. It's casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/21 07:51 AM
1

I would consider someone dating multiple people as being single if they haven't discussed being in a relationship with any of the people.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/21 06:46 AM
1

I'm assuming by "interested in the person", you mean interested in a relationship and not just interested in spending time with them for fun. Where I live, in the US, people from all different kinds of social circles go on dates with people for fun, even if they aren't looking for a relationship. Especially people on online dating, as they tend to go out on dates with multiple people.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/21 06:43 AM
1

Yes, we disagree on the definition of a relationship then. A relationship status requires the agreement of both parties. Just going on dates with someone doesn't mean you are in a relationship if there's never been a conversation defining it as a relationship. Many people date multiple people at one time, but aren't in a romantic relationship with any of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/21 03:26 AM
1

There's a difference between "I don't want to date you" and "I don't want a relationship with you." It's normal to date people without being in a relationship with them and it's normal to go out on dates even if you don't want a relationship at all. People go out on dates for fun all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/21 03:23 AM
1

"I don't want to date you" is not the same as "I don't want a relationship with you." You can have dates without a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/21 07:17 PM
1

You are basically advocating not communicating with others for clarification and to reach resolutions. Just make decisions on assumptions and judge others because of your assumptions? It isn't policing to clarify when you think someone isn't being consistent. In your example, I would say your assumption is erroneous if he previously stated he doesn't want a relationship. If you just had causal sex with no conversation about relationship vs no relationship, then I would say you shouldn't assume e…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/21 05:54 PM
1

Sure. When their actions actually don't match their words. That isn't the case with this post.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/21 05:45 PM
1

Maybe reread the OP and the whole point of this post. My issue is people ignoring words and ascribing their own definitions to another person's actions. They blame the person who was honest at the beginning because they decided to read things into actions that aren't there. They should just communicate with the person for clarification, but some people would still accuse that person of lying even if they were consistent in stating, "no, I don't want a relationship." It astounds me that people wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/21 05:22 PM
2

Yeah, my whole point was the actions don't inherently mismatch the words. Many FWB go on "dates" and don't think it "mismatches" their status as FWB. I would expect an adult to communicate with another adult if they felt like words and actions don't match so that clarification can be made.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/21 05:11 PM
2

It's absolutely an awful lot when they've explicitly stated they don't want a relationship. There's not much clearer than that. When someone has explicitly stated they don't want a relationship, it's important to communicate with that person if you feel like their actions say otherwise to make sure you're not misconstruing their actions.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/21 12:11 PM
1

It's still different from being a liar. And a good argument could be made by the other person that you're the one behaving nonsensically by ignoring what they said and reading more into their actions than what's there. It makes more sense to heed their words and realize they don't think like you.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/21 12:06 PM
1

I know what you said and I didn't read anything into what you said. I took your words at face value and explained how they didn't make sense. But your actions don't have to make sense to anyone but you. What's funny to me, however, is you are accusing me of reading a lot into what you said "that isn't there" but the exact same thing could definitely be said about your opinion on this subject. A man says he doesn't want a relationship but you want to read an awful lot into his actions that isn't …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/21 04:58 AM
1

Nonsensical does not equal "lie."
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/21 04:50 AM
1

Pointing out incontinencies and contradictory statements isn't being judgy.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/21 03:36 AM
1

His actions are a lie? But you are the one ascribing things to his actions that are contrary to what he said, not him. It makes more sense to just ask him for clarification if you feel his words and actions don't match up instead of assuming he is a liar. That way, he can verify his actions don't mean he wants a relationship. By your logic, if he is asked and he verifies he doesn't want a relationship, he's still a liar because you have decided his actions can't mean anything other than your int…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/21 03:31 AM
1

Most women who don't want kids wouldn't partake in casual sex if they don't find it valuable , protection or not. Most women don't treat abortion so casually. Some do, however. I use protection as well but I wouldn't take the risk if I felt the act didn't have value because protection isn't 100%. Just seems like a senseless risk to take for something that doesn't have value. I have never had casual sex take much effort, so to me it being low-value isn't a big deal. What I get out of it is worth …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/21 12:24 AM
1

Not when someone tells you outright what the deal is, it's not manipulative.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/21 11:51 PM
1

I understand and that's fair. For some people, there are just times in their lives when they do not want to be in a relationship with someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/21 06:22 PM
1

I mean, I feel like most women have sex available to them at pretty much any time they want it without looking for it. That's not really the issue. It just doesn't make sense to engage in casual sex if sex isn't valuable to you, no matter how available it is to you. There's inherent risk associated with casual sex, so why risk pregnancy and/or a STD for something you don't find valuable? This could be said of many other things as well. No matter how convenient something is, if it isn't valuable …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/21 06:16 PM
1

Relationships are responsibility. The whole point of friends with benefits is no commitment and no responsibility to each other as far as a relationship goes. As for not wanting a relationship, I don't see why you'd do a thing connected to relationships if that isn't what you want. Going out on dates isn't the only thing that makes a relationship a relationship. Many people go on dates but aren't looking for a relationship. It's the fun of going out with someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/21 04:05 PM
1

To me, it's nonsensical to have casual sex at all if you don't value sex. Why have casual sex if sex isn't valuable to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/21 03:35 PM
1

I don't agree with that viewpoint. One cannot just initiate a FWB relationship. Another party has to agree to it. It's up to both parties to ask questions if they aren't sure about what their FWB arrangement will look like. The way you make it sound, one party just says, "I want to be FWB", and the other person just says, "okay." If that's how it goes for some people, fine. But people have to take responsibility for their own choices and ask for clarification if needed. If you have an idea of wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/21 02:37 PM
2

For the same reason I wouldn't date a guy who is a sex worker. It would mean we aren't romantically compatible. What's important to me in a relationship and what I want in a partner isn't compatible with someone who is a sex worker or is okay with dating sex workers. A man who is okay with dating sex workers isn't able to meet my romantic needs in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/21 12:08 PM
2

The argument isn't whether feelings can develop in FWB situations; it's whether someone is being manipulative or doing something "wrong" by treating a FWB "like a boyfriend/girlfriend." Of course feelings can develop, but that doesn't mean, all of a sudden, the person was lied to or done wrong by the other person. I understand people lie but people are ascribing motives to actions when they were explicitly told otherwise. The belief that friends with benefits just have sex and have nothing to do…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/21 12:02 PM
3

Don't listen to anyone telling you to get surgery. Surgery should never be the solution to trying to get a partner. Have you ever tried talking to guys instead of waiting for them to approach you? I don't mean asking them out, even though you certainly could do that too, but just striking up conversations with guys?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/21 06:42 AM
1

Yes, but the men here who say that are just as wrong as the women saying it about this situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/21 06:21 AM
1

It's only nonsensical if you are looking for a relationship. I agree, if you are looking for a serious relationship, it makes no sense to keep having casual sex to try to find it. But casual sex in and of itself is not nonsensical. The point of it is to have sex and if you have good sex with someone, it makes complete sense to want to do it again, even if you have no interest in having a relationship with the person.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/21 06:17 AM
2

Two, why would you take someone on dates if you don't want to date them? Don't want commitment. Don't want a relationship. Want companionship but also want to see other people as well. There's many more possible reasons. Going on dates is fun, but just because someone wants to have fun with someone doesn't mean they want to date exclusively.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/21 06:08 AM
0

This is NOT true. Most FWB situations have elements to them in addition to fucking. It's the friends part of friends with benefits and holding hands and kissing is part of the benefits. What the other poster was describing is not an exception. What you seem to be describing is casual sex with strangers.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/21 06:00 AM
1

They get tired of it never becoming more because that’s what they want and eventually move on. This is the problem. If someone is clear up front they don't want anything serious, why agree to it if you want something serious? Why get tired of something they agreed to? You said "because that's what they want", but what they wanted wasn't offered. So the better question would be: Would they learn their lesson? In your scenario, the person being upfront isn't the one that needs to learn a lesson. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/21 05:50 AM
0

I disagree with this completely. If a man or woman is clear that the relationship is a FWB situation only, then any action should be taken as friendly or "benefit" in nature. I've held hands, kissed and fucked FWBs and been taken on dates by FWBs. It's only mixed messages if one of the parties says they want to date and then says they want to be FWB and then says they want to date....and then changes their mind again. That's mixed messages. What you are describing is not listening to your FWB. P…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/21 05:43 AM
5

When a man's words are "I want to be friends with benefits", all his actions should be considered of the friendly or the benefit variety unless he communicates he wants to redefine the relationship. I've been on the receiving end of what you are describing and it's really not fair. My words "I only want to be friends with benefits" were disregarded because my actions were to be playful, thoughtful and considerate of my FWB. That's not leading someone on when the relationship was defined at the o…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/21 05:30 AM
6

It's not debatable. It's disrespectful. Cheating is always disrespectful.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/21 04:43 AM
2

Yeah, that is one reason why I don't understand why some women have such a problem communicating with their partners and teaching them how to please them. It isn't difficult. It actually can be fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/21 10:14 PM
1

You are judging effort by whether they stimulate your clit or not, with rubbing or licking. Some men will try to get their partners off with their dicks. Instead of communicating with them that you want rubbing and licking, you are saying you assume they don't care about your pleasure.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/21 09:56 PM
1

No, I have never competed with another woman for a man. I have told more than one guy if his interest in me is in question because of another girl, then the choice is made. I won't compete. My main reason is because the guy doesn't like me enough to start with if he doesn't know if he wants to be with me or someone else. He can have the other girl. On the flip side, I think men should be the same way.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/21 08:58 PM
1

Communication let's them know what to do to give pleasure. If they don't try AFTER being told what works, then yes, they fall under the selfish umbrella. Not before that.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/21 08:46 PM
1

Because of everything you have stated.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/21 08:44 PM
2

Again, this sounds like an excuse not to communicate. You are favoring assumption over communication. If a man doesn't read your mind and try to get you off in a way you find acceptable, then he doesn't care about your orgasm and is selfish? It's like it's never entered your mind that perhaps he is trying what has worked with a previous partner? Or perhaps he is trying what he thinks would work?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/21 08:44 PM
4

I don't need luck. I've been married for over a decade and managed to have sexual partners throughout my life who I wouldn't have been terrified to tell STOP in the middle of sex. And sexist statements coming from the mouths of women are just as harmful as sexist statements coming from men.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/21 08:35 PM
19

No. And I also would not date a man who has dated sex workers.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/21 06:47 PM
7

As a woman, this is horrifying to read. Rule of thumb: do not have sex with a man who you would not be comfortable with telling to stop in the middle of sex. Even if that means you remain a virgin. I could not imagine having sex with a man where I wouldn't feel comfortable to stop him in the middle of the act if need be. Have I known men who I thought were dangerous? Absolutely. But I didn't have sex with them. ETA: Also, it is sexist to say women do not communicate directly like men.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/21 06:15 PM
5

As a woman who has stopped sex in the middle of sex because the man was not listening to me, I would say absolutely, that is what you are supposed to do. It was my first and last time with that guy and I never gave him another chance.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/21 06:10 PM
0

Not every woman. I agree it is a rampant problem but not every woman is unwilling to teach. There are many who are willing because they like orgasms enough to ensure they receive them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/21 06:00 PM
2

This is true. A lot of women don't understand this but it is very possible that the very thing a woman enjoys in bed, her current partner has been told by a previous woman to NOT do that very thing. But some women will judge a man for not doing that very thing even though she's not voiced to him it's what she wants. It's also a very real thing to have to "untrain" a partner from doing what his previous partner needed to get off. If his previous partner liked things gentle but his current partner…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/21 05:58 PM
3

This is a good point. People act like "communication" means people are advocating a full college course with note taking when it can be as simple as communicating one word directives in the moment. Communication can also be non-verbally in the moment such as moving a partner's hand to where you want it or moving your hips to go faster/harder.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/21 05:49 PM
0

So you will communicate to your friends about your opinion of his sexual skills but you will not communicate with the man himself about what you need to get off? Interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/21 05:35 PM
2

This sounds like an excuse not to communicate with a sexual partner. Women need to communicate with their partners because not every woman likes the same thing. I know women who don't even like for men to go down on them and I also know women who don't like to be rubbed. While I personally do not understand that at all and cannot identify, to say a woman should judge a guy on his level of trying and willingness to improve without the communication component from his partner is unfair.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/21 05:34 PM
1

This subject usually ends up a "women don't say what they need/want" versus "men don't care what women need/want" argument. The simple truth is that it depends on the person because, in some cases, either one of those arguments can be the truth. The actual answer is that communication is key and being willing to listen to your partner and communicate wants and needs is important to a healthy sex life. When either partner doesn't want to communicate, then you run into problems. If a woman doesn't…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/21 05:27 PM
5

No, I do not agree From the link: The study, now published in the online journal Evolutionary Psychology, found that men, like women, also became interested in older partners as they aged. In addition, the report revealed that men and women are sexually interested in partners their own age throughout their entire lives, and most sexual activity occurs between partners of around the same age, according to a release. Study after study shows men prefer to date closer to their own age. Which means w…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/21 06:51 AM
7

From your own link: "While these kinds of studies are always phrased ambiguously for maximum impact/ panic clicks, they're actually usually less closely linked to real-world behavior than they seem at first glance. In fact, Rudder himself noted that while these numbers reflect the “who’s liking who” information on OkCupid, the actual messaging patterns of men on the site show that they’re much more likely to message someone closer to their own age. And no lesser authority than the New York Times…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/21 05:51 AM
5

It's a revenge fantasy that simply isn't reality for the vast majority of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/21 05:08 AM
4

I agree with this approach. I think whoever asks should pay. If a man wants a woman to pay half, I assume he just wants to be friends and didn't mean for it to be a date. Same with women. If the woman asked the guy out, she should pay. If she expects the man to pay for his own, she's communicating she only wants to be friends. To me, it's an indicator of how interested the person is in whoever they asked out. ETA: I don't agree with FDS. Sometimes, the best dates are free and no money is spent.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 06:21 AM
2

Exactly. It's science. People are trying to discredit science because the findings don't support their worldview.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 05:41 AM
2

You are exactly right about studies for years showing this to be true. I thought this was an established fact. It's what I learned in sociology classes decades ago and I've seen it reported here and there in the years since. It's odd to me to see so many people deny these findings.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 05:37 AM
2

I agree with you. It doesn't drive me crazy but I've noticed that every year I've gotten older throughout my 30s, I've gotten hornier. I've always had a high sex drive, but there's still quite a difference between my twenties and my thirties.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 05:29 AM
1

Wishing for doesn't equal entitlement until the one doing the wishing begins blaming others for not getting whatever they are wishing for. Which is what a lot of posters on this sub do. They blame women for not fulfilling their wishes.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/21 01:02 AM
–

This is one of the most frustrating things I see on this sub. I completely agree with you. It seems like they just feel entitled to "she wants to rip my clothes off as soon as we meet" and feel shortchanged or like the woman is somehow insulting them if this doesn't happen. It's ridiculous.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/21 06:21 AM
–

You are confusing attraction and love here. You start out talking about attraction based on looks and then equate attraction based on looks with love. You never heard of really attractive people wanting to find someone who actually loves them and isn't just with them for their looks? It's a thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/21 06:17 AM
2

Not the person you asked, but it's not this. It's the idea of turning love into transactions.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/21 06:49 PM
5

Exactly right. This is my answer as well. It's not because I don't want to contribute to the relationship: it's the concept that I have to earn HIS contributions. If I am in love with someone, they don't have to earn what comes naturally with my love.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/21 06:44 PM
0

And it seems that most women are still like this. I agree with you; it's NOT the optimal way of meeting people. From what I've read, while more people are turning to OLD than in the past, most still don't use OLD.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/21 06:35 PM
2

Men use these two arguments when they don't want to take responsibility for their actions and admit the real reason(s) they weren't faithful.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/21 06:21 PM
2

This is exactly right. Men want variety until they find someone they love. If they love a woman, they don't want anyone else. If they can't have who they love, then they want variety again. Men don't want to be monogamous with someone they aren't in love with. In general, it's difficult for a man to "give up" or "turn down" sexual options when he feels no romantic love toward his partner. Some will because they made a commitment, some will because of their moral compass, but love is what's behin…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/21 06:20 PM
3

You are right about the body changing. Even if a woman returns to her pre-pregnancy weight, her body is more than likely going to be quite different.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/21 03:21 AM
3

Postpartum Weight Retention is a thing. And It's Totally Normal. From that link: "Most women who gained the recommended amount of weight during pregnancy, remain 2-5 lbs. above their pre-pregnancy weight a year after giving birth. A sizable minority, 15-20% of women, will hold onto 10 lbs or more." Your expectations are unrealistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/21 03:17 AM
8

The thing is, most women don't ever lose all the extra pregnancy weight. If this is of upmost importance to a man, it would be best if he didn't get his wife pregnant at all. Realistic expectations are important and a realistic expectation is his wife won't ever be at her pre-pregnancy weight again, according to statistics. This article is a great overview of trends, with the most interesting being: Only women who gain under the recommended amount tend to return to their pre-pregnancy size.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/21 10:26 PM
16

Meanwhile, it takes most women a year to lose all their pregnancy weight and some women never lose it all. Women's bodies change after pregnancy and it's incredibly difficult for many women to get back to their pre-pregnancy weight. Especially if she has multiple pregnancies.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/21 07:29 PM
4

Yes, a lot of people gain weight as they age, whether they are married or single. "Letting yourself go" is actually not as common as people think, meaning people just being comfortable in their relationship, so they let things slide. Most of the time, the husband or wife who "let themselves go" would have had the same result even if they were single.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/21 07:24 PM
9

Exactly. I never realized how lucky I was to be fat when I was dating and when I got married. I never once worried about my weight in relation to dating and haven't worried about it since I have been married either.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/21 07:18 PM
4

No. You just put a lot of words in my mouth. Women were taught in the past to withold sex until they found someone special and long term, because men bond through sex and are inherently repulsed by promiscuity. This is rewriting history. Throughout history, women's sexuality was demonized and controlled by men. Restrictions were placed on women to control their sexual behavior and enforce abstinence while men were able to explore their sexuality freely. It wasn't because men "bond through sex"; …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 03:14 PM
6

It is sweet. The emotional side of men has been downplayed and denied for the sake of masculinity and to preserve the male stereotype, but men are just as capable of falling in love as women are.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 02:37 AM
10

You are rewriting history here.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 02:31 AM
27

I learned men aren't always as capable of no strings attached sex as is widely thought. It changed how I approached casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 12:35 AM
–

Well, that goes without saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 08:35 PM
–

Love isn't just for attractive people.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 07:41 PM
1

Fortunately, my experience with this is different from most women because, pre-covid, I wore makeup that's obvious I'm wearing makeup. I rarely wore the "natural" look because I like colorful eyeshadow and lipstick. What's interesting to me is that despite the fact I wore colorful eyeshadow and lipstick, and despite the fact that I obviously do not view wearing makeup as a negative, I have had men genuinely not know that I wear foundation in addition to eyeshadow and lipstick. They just couldn't…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 06:10 PM
3

I agree with you. It is a good marker. I'm just saying some women are skilled enough to not look "too perfect and glowy", especially the ones who wear light coverage foundation paired with neutral eyeshadow. The point is to cover flaws while allowing natural texture to show through. It's to avoid "cake face."
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 03:52 AM
2

“ most men can’t tell when a woman is wearing minimal or “natural” makeup”. We are literally telling you otherwise but yall insist to tell us how we think. On this one, it's not that we are insisting on telling guys how they think, it is that many women have had guys say they like how she doesn't wear makeup while she is wearing makeup. Or guys will point out women who aren't wearing makeup, explaining how great they look when, in fact, those women are wearing makeup. With that being said, yes, …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 03:43 AM
6

A woman skilled in applying makeup will still have noticeable texture and pores on her skin. Foundation is marketed to women as light, medium or full coverage. Most men can't tell a woman is wearing a natural makeup look and will often compliment women on looking great "without wearing makeup" when, in fact, they are wearing makeup.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 03:24 AM
1

If that is the guy's stance, I would suggest he stay out of relationships. Relationships based on looks alone are shallow and typically will not last.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 07:41 PM
2

The post said suggestions for the guy to find a girl; it did not specify "hot girl." With that being said, I suggested the guy try to learn to be charming and put himself in more social situations, focusing on building his social network.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 07:39 PM
7

This would only work if there's no love and/or emotions involved. Your wording makes it seem like the guy would be completely okay with her leaving because she's "replaceable."
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 07:08 PM
4

I don’t know what other strategy this guy could employ to get 8/10 hot chicks. You are adding this element. The post didn't ask what the guy needed to do to get hot chicks. It asked what to do to get dates. Your strategy is for the guy to try to get a woman solely based on money, which puts him in the situation of not knowing if the woman likes him genuinely or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 07:06 PM
2

If the stance is "you will never know for sure," then the partner isn't the right one. Trust is an important element of relationships. If someone doesn't trust their partner actually wants them for them, they need to move on to someone else. And if the issue is that the person themselves just doesn't trust anyone, a good argument could be made that they need to stay out of LTRs.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 07:03 PM
3

In your two posts, you said "I don't care if she wants Chad more" and "why do I care if she deep down craves Chad?" That indicates knowing it to be the case and/or not caring if that is the case. There's a difference between genuinely not knowing that to be the case and not caring if that's the case.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 07:00 PM
0

Try to learn to be charming and charismatic. This goes a long way with women. With men too, actually, but that's not the focus here. I understand some people just aren't able to be charming, but it doesn't hurt to try. Put myself in social situations and talk to people. Develop friendships. Whatever my interests are, I would tailor those social situations to those interests. It could be attending local festivals and/or attending local events at the library, rec center, YMCA, bars, restaurants, j…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 06:56 PM
10

If I was in that situation, it would bother me tremendously if I knew deep down my partner didn't want me. I wouldn't care if they were providing for all my wants and needs; it would matter that it was all a show. This is basically telling guys to not love their wives. To not even care about them, really. It's a selfish way of looking at relationships. And wanting your partner to live "knowing they are replaceable" is unhealthy. No security can be had in a relationship like that. Might as well j…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 06:35 PM
3

Omg do anything you want to me I'm all yours Good oral seems to elicit that response from both sexes. Lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 12:10 PM
2

I understood what you said and replied with my opinion about it. And also, I assumed we weren't talking about open marriages. In open marriages, one wouldn't have the expectation that marriage would be an "obstacle" to sleeping with others.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 12:09 PM
5

Thinner men have less SEX than fat men, says study This link says fat men and women have more sex than their thinner counterparts. Being fat isn't stopping anyone. Despite the narrative a lot of people push here on this sub, sex and dating for fat people isn't all doom and gloom. Edited to add another: 5 Scientific Reasons Why Women Love Fat Guys
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 07:08 AM
3

Exactly. This perspective is how I view giving oral. I don't view it as a submissive act at all. I view it as having power over another person's pleasure and "taking control" of their pleasure.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 06:45 AM
2

You are exactly right. I believe these marriages are more successful than ones that feature a power imbalance.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 06:38 AM
1

I'm not interested in debating the purpose of feminism. This article lists some ways women still aren't treated equally, but it certainly isn't an exhaustive list.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 06:37 AM
1

Oh I'm very definitely avoiding marriage and I only ever date girls who agree that marriage is bullshit. That's good that you stick with girls who are compatible with you. I am sorry your family went through a devastating time. I would suggest therapy to work through your anger regarding what you went through. Not to change your view on marriage, but to allow you to be able to let go of that anger. Marriage is an assault on our personal freedom to grow and it is as much a disservice to the woman…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 05:54 AM
1

Feminism is about more than dating and relationships but you are molding your entire opinion of women around dating/relationship issues. Beyond that: "about nothing"- just because you don't care doesn't mean their concerns are about "nothing". "Instead of doing anything themselves"- Are you seriously claiming women do not do anything? "Because things don't meet their standards"- their standard of being equal?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 04:15 AM
1

Like a week or two ago there was a study posted here that said women downplay their numbers and men inflate them. Thereby lying when self reporting Yes, I have seen studies about this. The phenomenon has been noted in studies where participants are asked how many sexual partners they have had. And the studies dealing with that subject matter typically take into account this phenomenon when reporting their findings. The amount of fudging numbers isn't so great that the studies are unreliable. Fem…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 03:36 AM
2

Do you not see the reverse of that? If a man tells a woman he loves her and wants to spend his life with her, there should be no reason he wouldn't marry her if he means what he says. The woman could legitimately doubt the man means what he says because his actions don't match his words. And if the man says the reason he doesn't want to get married is because he is afraid the woman wants marriage as an insurance policy so he can't leave without providing something, then he will be demonstrating …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 03:24 AM
1

Studies on this stuff are self-reported, everyone is the hero of their own story. When you have to throw out study after study after study on the basis that every study participant is "lying", then it might be a clue you need to reevaluate your stance. Because being a whore is now the basic generalization and expectation so you're not going to run into exceptions very often, and those exceptions will have their pick of their own litter. While I don't agree with your use of the word "whore" .....…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 03:14 AM
2

I don't understand it either. So, it has something to do with "giving in" to the woman, I guess? Even though that makes no sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 02:55 AM
1

Marriage is an obstacle to sleeping with other people, which makes it ever more exciting. If someone has this outlook before marriage, I would always advise them to not get married. It means whoever they are thinking about marrying is not the right person for them or the person just isn't ready and/or cut out for marriage. If you want to stay with someone for your whole life This sentiment does not go with the thought process that views marriage as an obstacle to sleeping with other people.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 02:53 AM
1

Well, I don't agree with FDS philosophy either.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 02:47 AM
1

I am well aware of that. Marriage is a commitment to share your life with the person you love. It can be argued that pretty much everything one gains from marriage can be obtained outside of marriage by other means. But women gain love and companionship from marriage because many women (and men, actually) don't feel like their partner is certain about the relationship and/or their feelings if they aren't willing to commit by getting married. The refusal to marry can be a barrier to happiness and…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 02:45 AM
1

It's a generalization. Exceptions don't discount rules or trends, so you assume the generalization is true and maybe you'll bump into an exception but you probably won't The issue comes when people's generalizations are the exceptions to trends. Such as this one. Studies don't support your generalization. And why women insist on not having consequences for their actions would be beyond me, but we both know that women are hard-wired to want their cake to look at and eat it too. It's not a consequ…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 08:22 PM
2

That was someone else. I'm married and my dating history before I was married doesn't even come close to meeting the definition of alpha widow.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 07:29 PM
1

No, because women prize men who other women fuck. That's a generalization that discounts all the women who say they don't like men who have high n counts. There's also a lot of women who will not compete for a man. Women are the gatekeeper, so if he wants to fuck anybody, it doesn't matter what he does or doesn't have to add to his count. If he had a say, she wouldn't have many previous partners doing anything to them That's the thing. He doesn't have a say just like the woman doesn't have a say…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 07:24 PM
2

Lol! You just proved my point by making an assumption about me.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 07:15 PM
5

Makes sense with my theory too. Their macho masculinity is such a part of who they are, they see doing anything for the benefit of another person as a threat to their image.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 07:12 PM
6

Meanwhile, most women can't orgasm with penetration alone. It seems that a lack of education about the female sexual experience is the issue then. Plus I know a lot of guys who don't give a shit about her pleasure, they just wanna jeet and delete. That has nothing to do with dominance or submission. That's being a selfish partner, treating women like sex dolls.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 07:09 PM
2

It seems you are making assumptions on the experiences of a vocal minority of people and discounting experiences that go against your narrative.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 07:04 PM
1

You are exactly right. Compromises are too important to relationships for there to be an unequal balance of "power." Unless, you like said, it's agreed upon.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 06:54 PM
2

This would be the equivalent of a woman not wanting to sleep with a man who has had past sexual partners because he can't ever completely wash them off his penis. It's a ridiculous position to take, but it's your right to be ridiculous. But also, you're not having sex with every single guy she's ever been with unless you insert your dick in their anus. FYI. Thought you needed to know that. You think a guy who has sex with a woman who has had four previous partners has to add five to his n count …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 06:45 PM
6

We have egalitarian relationships and prefer to avoid having hierarchy in our couple. We're both functioning adults, there's no reason to put one above/under the other. This is the way. I don't get this obsession people have with being the dominant and/or submissive half of a relationship. It makes more sense to be equal partners. With that being said, I understand some people want to be the submissive or dominant partner. I don't understand why men who don't agree with FDS focus so much on FDS …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 06:11 PM
28

I was wondering the same thing. Most men consider it a point of pride to be able to get women off. I don't know who considers it sexually submissive to get a woman off, but it would seem to me it would be those who are not secure in their masculinity.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 05:50 PM
5

You're making a lot of assumptions about other people.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 05:40 PM
2

Yes everyone falls inlove. But I dont think anyone falls in love with a person with their idea on partnership based on a list of rules and expectations. This is exactly right and the reason why FDS and TRP get it all wrong. They don't take into account falling in love with a person, which is the most important factor in a happy, healthy romantic relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 05:38 PM
0

It seems you are offended by the concept of love and companionship. I did, in fact, literally answer the question. Just because you don't like my answer doesn't mean it's not a valid answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 03:10 PM
2

I see. I don't treat marriage as a Disney movie but I would say the things I find important in life are different from what you find important. People are different; I could never marry someone who has an utilitarian approach to marriage but there are many women out there with the same approach. Whatever makes you happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 03:01 PM
1

No, I wasn't implying that at all. I said marriage demonstrates commitment. Life happens though and people can become unhappy in their marriages. No one knows what the future holds but to avoid something positive just because something negative may come out of it isn't the way that I choose to live. Beyond that though, I would never imply all married people are happy and committed because way too many people get married for reasons other than love. If you are not in love with your spouse, the fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 02:52 PM
2

Depends on your perspective on marriage. Some people will break up with someone who is unwilling to commit which would dictate that person needs marriage to successfully obtain love and companionship. You could argue marriage helps with obtaining regular sex, I suppose, but that's easily attainable outside of marriage as well. Love and romantic companionship isn't though and a lack of commitment makes it hard to be secure in it. I guess taxes are a real benefit? I don't know. Some people see it …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 07:31 AM
6

I agree. It means different things to different people. To me, if a man says he loves me and wants to spend his life with me, those words would be hollow without marriage because he's not committing to me. And I'm mainly basing that from my own feelings, but also what I've observed from others. I've been in love and wanted to get married and I've been in love and definitely didn't want to get married. The difference was, with one, I didn't want to share my life with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 07:23 AM
2

Sure. But if I'm in love with my husband and he is in love with me and we agree we want to spend our lives together, marriage demonstrates that commitment to each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 04:18 AM
1

It's true that some do, but I still think height is overrated. Most couples fall within a 2-8 inch height difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 03:39 AM
1

Everyone deserves to be treated as human beings and no man or woman should be objectified. It's demeaning.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 02:12 AM
1

Yes, many are.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 11:29 PM
65

Love and companionship. That's all I want from my husband and all I wanted from marriage. ETA: Thanks for the award!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 10:42 PM
2

I didn't pick him based on his height though. Women usually mean it when they say that. Women who care about height aren't shy about it, they typically will state it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 10:34 PM
2

I completely agree with that. Online dating has reduced people down to a picture and a bio. I've never done it myself but I have helped people who tried online dating and it's just like shopping out of a catalog. Sometimes that shirt that looked good in the catalog just isn't going to fit or suit your style, but the perfect shirt may be waiting for you on a hanger at a local store and you might just overlook it because the style is different from what you typically wear.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 09:38 PM
1

Yeah, I never really have experienced negativity about being a tall woman. And the guy was pretty popular with girls, so maybe that's why he was secure with his height. I know it goes against the narrative some men have on this sub about short men, but I guess he compensated for his height with his facial attractiveness and personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 09:31 PM
2

I said I was a poor example. I knew it would be viewed this way, which is why I usually don't debate this particular topic. People on this sub only think in absolutes and don't take the whole person into account with discussions like these. My husband is the tallest man I've ever dated but he is also the only overweight man I've ever dated. How does that fit into your narrative? I'm fat but all my exes were fit. And I chose my husband over two men who were fit and my height. The whole package ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 09:26 PM
2

Yes, it is true some porn stars even hate their industry. Porn documentaries and behind-the-scenes type productions really expose the dark, ugly truth behind most porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 08:39 PM
1

That's true. There are a lot of women who like to be the smaller partner, for whatever reason. I've never been one to care about that but I definitely have known women who did.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 08:37 PM
3

It was definitely different from a man my height or taller, but not a negative different. The biggest difference was the reaction from others. It wasn't a big deal to us, but it was a very big deal to everyone around us. Our friends and family, I mean. It was constantly mentioned. It wasn't discussed in a negative way, but it was enough to make me feel like a carnival sideshow sometimes. "Oh my goodness, you're just so much taller than him! It's adorable!" or to him, "You guys are so cute, you'r…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 08:33 PM
2

So being with a tall guy would finally make them feel a bit “tiny”? Would you agree with me on that? I think it depends on the woman and how comfortable she is with herself. I do think a lot of women want to be the smaller partner, whether it is due to height and/or weight, because of the stigma around being "bigger than your man." If she is comfortable in her own skin, however, this plays less of a role. I think the women who want to feel "tiny" next to their men look for men who conform to tra…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 07:38 PM
1

I didn't use the term "client". Maybe you meant to reply to someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 06:20 PM
1

I agree. Height is significantly overrated for men, especially on this sub. With that being said, I am a poor example. I'm 5'9". Most men I dated were my height or slightly taller. I married a man who is 6'3". My choice to marry a man so much taller than me had nothing to do with his height, but considering he is the only man I ever dated who was more than an inch taller than me, I understand it looks as though I prove the general belief. Facial attraction and personality are much more important…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 06:13 PM
5

So my question is: if you have a guy whose lonely, whose unattractive, whose poor, who wants a relationship with a woman, but is really struggling, would it be okay to say something to the regards of "listen, you really got to focus on other things in your life besides wanting companionship and intimacy". I don't think it's helpful to tell these men to focus on other things besides wanting companionship because it's useless to tell people to stop wanting something they want. It's just not going …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 06:06 PM
3

Easier said than done. Again, many prostitutes have been groomed for that type of work, are being forced and/or are desperate. I've noticed that men who use prostitutes want to deny that reality even when it's in their face. Not long ago, someone on this sub linked a detailed article that had snippets from reviews from johns and it highlighted how johns do not view prostitutes as human beings. They had analyzed reviews and many johns could tell the women didn't want to be there and some even men…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 03:57 PM
4

Because many prostitutes have been groomed for that type of work, are being forced and/or are desperate. They don't enjoy being a prostitute and are repulsed by men who are ok having sex with women who don't really want to have sex with them. Being treated like a sex doll is demeaning and dehumanizing. Also, being a prostitute is risky. They are at an increased risk of contracting STDs, being physically and/or sexually assaulted and being killed. Makes sense they would view their customers negat…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 03:16 PM
–

That's why I said "more than likely." The women you described exist but they are a very small percentage of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 02:46 PM
–

Their point was that your assessment she is settling with you out of scarcity is more than likely not true.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 02:03 PM
3

Woman tend to have greater varrience in body shape. Large breasts or small. Big thighs, wide hips or fairly plain. Clothes can look vastly different on two women who both wear a medium. Yep, this is exactly right. It's hard to visualize what an article of clothing will look like on you if the model isn't a similar shape as you. I think all sizes should be represented in modeling clothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 06:59 AM
1

You are exactly right. Some men on here don't want to accept this makes them responsible if the woman gets pregnant. If they don't want to be responsible, don't have sex. It's very simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 06:22 AM
-1

Some people on this sub also seem to think that terminating an unwanted pregnancy is as easy as getting a flu shot at Walmart, so thats a bit weird too considering it's practically illegal in half the USA atm. I've noticed this too and I don't quite understand where it comes from. They act like it's no big deal.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 06:00 AM
0

I agree. The real life hatred for single mothers, that I've seen, has been minimal when compared to this sub. And it's been based on religious convictions against premarital sex. Nothing to do with picking the wrong guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 05:56 AM
2

It actually gets me down to read so many women saying that too because there is usually a negative reason/backstory relating to why they feel that way. I will say, however, there are a disproportionate number of women saying that online as compared to real life. The women I have known in real life who have said similar things usually fell into two categories: They wouldn't communicate their desires to their partners and expected him to just know what she needed and/or they were too insecure to "…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 05:46 AM
2

In the end, lots of life is nasty. My late husband saw actual smelly poop come out of my ass while I was giving birth and still found it in him to give me a few more babies. Thank you for that laugh tonight. Lol!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 05:18 AM
1

who are engaged- making eye contact, vocalizing, holding hands, moving with or against me. This is definitely part of what takes sex from "alright" to great. Both partners being engaged is very important. a woman’s experience of sex can be very powerful and pleasurable. I agree completely. It's one reason why I advocate for women to own their sexual desires and take charge of their own sexual pleasure. By taking charge, I mean stop being so insecure regarding sex and embrace their sexuality. Be …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 05:13 AM
2

As a woman, I'm surprised at all the replies saying sex is overrated too. I also think perhaps it is people doing it wrong or just not doing it with the right partners. I've had one partner who was awful at sex and if he was the only one I had to go off from, I would have thought sex was overrated too. It makes me think perhaps that is why some people aren't too keen on sex. To me, sex with someone you love can be the most amazing, enjoyable, pleasurable experience in life. But, even when it's w…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 04:47 AM
1

I meant Chad is sleeping with all types of women in general. Not literally every single woman. Chad is sleeping with all types of women, of all attractiveness levels, of all relationship statuses, of all social statuses. But no, not every woman has slept with a Chad.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/21 09:40 PM
1

My intention was to only minimize it from resulting in a temporary rage induced murder, because that way he wouldn't be caught by surprise. Oh, I understand. Yes, I agree. It would reduce the chance of a crime of passion. It does, that's how people got away from life sentences in courts. The element of surprise can be a legitimate reason to appeal for temporary insanity. Yes, I agree, in cases of crimes of passion. But a man who would kill his wife in a crime of passion directly after discoverin…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/21 09:30 PM
1

No, because he will have closure. Instead of "punishing" her himself, he is likely to leave it be knowing that her family knows she's a cheater especially if the father asks apologizes on her behalf. Interesting take. He won't have closure; he will just be aware of the cheating. Men who are going to commit murder-suicide due to infidelity don't typically take the woman's family into consideration when making that decision. If a man is in the psychological state that he would kill his wife and th…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/21 05:19 PM
3

I'd tell the husband simply because I don't want her to die in a murder suicide Wouldn't telling the husband make it more likely the daughter would die in a murder suicide? In the son's case, the wife at best will cry it off, be ok with it or leave. Guess you've never watched Snapped?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/21 06:45 AM
3

This is my stance regarding parents and the romantic relationships their kids have. Stay out of it. Clear boundaries. Don't get involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/21 06:39 AM
1

Right, but I never said respecting someone meant to just agree to whatever they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/21 02:39 AM
1

I hope you fall in love someday. Truly.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/21 02:37 AM
1

Then it's just an arrangement without loyalty. I mean, I guess you can say that about all marriages where one or both partners cheat. I wouldn't use the words "arrangement without loyalty" for situations where someone thought they were in a monogamous marriage, but I guess you could make the argument the cheating spouse viewed their marriage as an arrangement not requiring loyalty.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/21 02:32 AM
1

My definition stands. Taking someone's feelings into consideration doesn't mean you just agree to whatever they say or do whatever they want. It just means you respect their feelings. In your example, respecting my friend would be treating him with kindness. Disrespecting him would be to treat him like he is a creep for wanting to have sex with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/21 01:12 AM
1

I've read his posts. The concept of spouse goggles is still a real thing. Most people in love will say similar things.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/21 01:04 AM
1

Now you're changing your words. The result is not the same. Women use money to buy things and for status. Men use money to buy things and for status. Having money increases opportunities for both. Just like I said in an earlier reply, women's romantic options increase with money as well, not just men's. It isn't true that money doesn't attract men to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/21 01:01 AM
2

Respecting another person means to show consideration for their feelings and wishes, to take their feelings into consideration and to avoid harming them if possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/21 09:06 PM
2

I think you don't much life experience if you have really haven't seen men who are loyal to their average looking and sometimes below average looking wives and gfs. There are many men who haven't taken the opportunity to cheat even when they present themselves. I am a 40 year old man, and most of my male family members and friends are in loyal long term relationships. Men cheat as much as women do... Take a few percentage points here and there. I agree with this and think it applies to a lot of …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/21 06:42 PM
6

Women don't understand it because we are not like that and because we do not truly feel like the man is loyal and respects the girl they love if they cheat sexually with the hot girl. I have heard men say this before and it's interesting how they consider themselves loyal even though they are cheating on the women they love. They see themselves as loyal because they don't leave her but from the woman's perspective, it looks like the man is just using her for stability and emotional support while…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/21 06:27 PM
4

Wife goggles is definitely a thing, just like husband goggles. It happens when you truly love someone. You place that person above all others and have no interest in "trading up", even if you could. It has nothing to do with self-esteem; it has to do with being in love.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/21 06:14 PM
1

I agree with you. I don't know why people keep bringing up this separate issue. The fact most of these men have affairs has nothing to do with who they decided to marry and everything to do with their options. Look at celebrities. It's usually beautiful people marrying beautiful people, but because options abound, so does the cheating.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/21 05:44 PM
1

I actually kinda like the way I look, even if men don’t. But I don’t want to end up alone either... In a world where so many people hate the way they look, it's wonderful that you like the way you look. I understand you don't want to end up alone and I wish you luck I'm finding someone. Remember, the internet tends to attract people from the extremes in these types of discussions. The majority of women are able to find men to date without plastic surgery. I just want makeup and style to be somet…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/21 04:36 PM
1

Chad is sleeping with all women. So who's sleeping with the unattractive women? Chad, average men and unattractive men.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/21 09:21 AM
1

I agree. In those particular situations, when women rape men who are drunk and/or unconscioud, it's usually opportunistic instead of about power.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/21 08:43 AM
2

I'm married now, but when I was dating, zero was the lowest acceptable amount and highest acceptable amount depended on the situations and the guy's attitude toward women. I think 100 would have been pushing it, but if me and the guy were compatible and I was really into him, I would have given him a chance. The most important thing to me would have been how his number got so high and his attitude toward women in general. For example, it would have been important that he would accept the same nu…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/21 08:31 AM
2

I'm a married woman and I have no interest whatsoever in seeing you fail like the other commenter claims of women encouraging you. I definitely think finding clothes that suit your body, working on your makeup and finding a hairstyle that flatters your face are all good things to work on that can make a difference. I think working on your social skills would also help you greatly with dating. Becoming more comfortable communicating with others will help you to be able to talk to and connect with…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/21 08:03 AM
1

I will have to respectfully disagree.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 09:44 PM
1

Yeah, I think a lot of men prefer A. Another difference between men and women. Lol
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 07:03 PM
1

So who, if not men, are sexualizing women? I said "many men" are able to appreciate women's bodies while also respecting them as human beings. Not ALL men. Some men objectify women. Also, don't you think women sexualize themselves too when they chose to wear sexy revealing clothes? Why do you think is that? Objectifying a woman is about seeing her as just an object of sexual desire. Just because a woman wants to dress sexy doesn't mean she wants to be treated like a sex doll. I'll give an exampl…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 06:38 PM
1

I'm not trying to turn words in any direction. Men and women both need money the same. You are trying to say men need money more because you believe men's reason of wanting money to expand their romantic prospects means they need it more. Men are able to date without holding higher-paying jobs. They don't need a higher status to date. The statistic of 30% of American wives earning more than their husbands does not prove your point; it shows that 30% of American wives did not pick their husbands …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 05:57 PM
1

I compared men because i never heard them say that. Why makes it reasonable for women to say that without men when they are both human beings with the same genital functions ? It makes it seem like bullshit. There’s no evidence in science at all that women can have sex without orgasming ? I think that’s a you problem. Penises are different from vaginas. The journey to orgasm is different for men and women. And I never said I couldn't orgasm during sex. Why making up this double standard then ? T…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 05:48 PM
1

Why can’t she have an orgasm with him ? You hate yourself so much that you could’ve stop in the middle of sex and demand to be pleasured ? How idiotic is that ? I feel like I'm talking to a virgin. The average time it takes from arousal to orgasm for a woman is over twice the average time for men. That, combined with women usually not being able to orgasm with penetration alone, is why women sometimes don't orgasm with men. Why you have to masturbate if you’re having sex ?? My original comment: …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 05:08 PM
1

I'm not contradicting myself. I said having sex is pleasurable even without orgasm. You asked who says that and I said women say that. I never said only women, but I wasn't speaking about men's sexual experience at all. You brought up men. Yes, it is true that if sex didn't feel good at all until orgasm, nobody would orgasm. The buildup of pleasure is what causes an orgasm. So why only women say that ? It means the problem is in women cuz men don’t ever say that. I didn't say only women. We were…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 04:03 PM
1

Yes ? You’re masturbating ? Where’s the sex ? Have YOU ever had sex ? I said masturbating after sex if the woman hasn't had an orgasm and wants to. The sex is before the masturbating, when the penis is in the vagina. I've been clear that I have been talking about masturbation following sex. It’s still physically possible for women to orgasm from piv alone. They may be morally incapable or consciously uncomfortable. But the female body is capable. Yep, it's possible, but only a minority of women …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 03:40 PM
1

Women and men both need money to support their families. I believe it is 30 percent of American married women who earn more than their husbands. That's not a small number. Besides that, in most married American households, both the husband and the wife work to support the family. Men don't need money more; it's an equal need for both genders. As far as status, women gain status by having money as well, so to say they don't need status is false. Status isn't always just about your sexual/romantic…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 02:54 PM
1

Lmao. Says who ? Why men don’t say that and they are human beings just like us ? Stop being delusional Women say that. Women who have sex. You're basically saying sex doesn't feel good at all until orgasm, which is ridiculous. If that were true, no one would ever orgasm.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 02:22 PM
–

Late 30s.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 01:30 AM
3

"Unworthy" according to you. These men you are talking about may not view their partners the same way you do. There are a lot of people in unhappy relationships, that's for sure, but it's not always because the women are "unworthy". But it isn't because the men are "unworthy" either. A lot of people pick partners they are not compatible with but even the ones that are able to pick someone compatible, there can be communication breakdowns that result in unhappiness. Why do you care what other men…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 08:33 PM
1

That’s not my point if she gets something off of it then hell yeah but if that something doesn’t include sexual pleasure then i don’t know what. What I, and several other women, have been trying to tell you is that sexual pleasure can be had minus an orgasm. Having sex is pleasurable even if an orgasm isn't achieved. Why should she wait ? Or demand even ? He can use his body for her I don't understand what you are asking. I said she shouldn't wait to ask. If a woman is having casual sex and she …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 07:43 PM
1

You’re not doing anything. You’re doing sex with yourself basically just let them see that’s all. He may as well watch porn why have sex with you. Not doing anything? Have you ever had sex? I don't even know how to respond to this. The ability of these women to not orgasm us based on the fact they’re choosing wrong dudes it’s in the same study. And all our bodies function well and are able to orgasm. So basically it’s your mind or your conscience that is playing into you. Saying women can’t orga…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 07:34 PM
1

Why can’t he make you finish ? Are he that incapable of making you finish using his body ? I can't imagine any woman with sexual experience asking these two questions. Search "how often does a woman orgasm during sex" on Google and educate yourself. It's sometimes referred to as "the elusive female orgasm" for a reason. Women usually don't orgasm from penetration alone, which causes the imbalance between men and women in achieving orgasm. If he can watch without performing whats the point ? That…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 06:51 PM
0

I think this depends on the woman. Male fashion isn't really a factor for me. As long as the clothes are clean and aren't really old and worn out, it's fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 02:22 PM
–

I agree. Photoshop and filters have warped people's standards of beauty. How many of us have known people in real-life, that when we've seen their social media posts, we say, "they don't look like that!?" But even knowing that, we compare ourselves and others to images we see splashed all over the internet even though most of those images aren't reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 02:08 PM
–

Yeah well in that case the woman should know the guy beforehand. She can’t have sex with strangers because she won’t expect much out of it. So hooking up is bad anyways. While I have never liked the idea of hooking up with strangers, I still recognize that other women enjoy it and wish to pursue it. Everyone is different and we all have our preferences. It seems like you want to push your view of hookups onto all women but not all women think like you. If a woman enjoys hooking up, she should do…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 01:49 PM
1

Who said anything about finishing yourself off alone? Why wait until you're alone? Men typically like to watch. The man can kiss you, rub your body, etc while you finish yourself off. He might even assist. But even if you don't finish yourself off in front of your partner and wait until you're alone, a lack of orgasm doesn't mean the hook up was bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 01:39 PM
–

Why then hookup if you finish yourself off afterwards ? I already answered that. Because sex, in and of itself, is enjoyable. It means you’re just fucking the wrong guys Considering women in general orgasm 60-75 precent of the time (depends on the study) during sex and most women can't orgasm with penetration alone, this doesn't ring true. If a woman doesn't have an orgasm during sex, it doesn't automatically mean she's with the wrong guy. I would say only if she's with a man who does not care a…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 01:30 PM
–

I agree. Most women seek out casual sex with men they already know. Not only is there a comfort level already but it's just less risky as far as physical safety as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 01:18 PM
1

Then why do men "clearly" need money "more"? If you weren't saying they can't get women without being in high-paying jobs, then why do they need money more?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 01:12 PM
2

I don't know your sexual experiences, but all I can say is that I don't agree. Sex itself is an enjoyable act.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 06:20 AM
2

Sexual fulfillement from a hookup ? It’s like you’re searching for oxygen in the ocean. Men are saying they don’t care about the women’s orgasms when hooking up so why do you give them a chance to get near you ? Some men on this sub are saying they don't care about the women's orgasms when hooking up. They don't represent men in general. Also, many women choose to have casual sex with men they already know as opposed to strangers. That increases the likelihood the man will want to please the wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 06:10 AM
3

i never said she couldn't. Please tell me where I said so. I already explained how I interpreted your comment. Great. Your thinking is wrong. Men will initially look at woman with his "will I do her" glasses on. I'm being a bit general but it is pretty much biologically hardwired. My thinking is not wrong. I'm not a man but I've had enough interaction with all different types of men to know what I'm talking about, in addition to formal education in subjects pertaining to this topic. The funny th…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 06:00 AM
1

The stats I remember reading were 45-50 percent of women orgasm during casual sex. With that being said, sex can be enjoyable even if orgasm isn't achieved.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 05:49 AM
3

But some are just dumb. Women are dumb for wanting sexual fulfillment? That's a new one. It is costless. Women have just to attend to the hookup and that’s it. I don’t know how hard would it be to just stay at home and watch tv for example rather then go there for nothing Do you mean stay home, watch porn and masturbate? Because just staying home to watch random TV isn't comparable to going out to have casual sex. And why stay home and masturbate if you are okay with casual sex and have someone …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 05:38 AM
3

Friends with benefits.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 05:25 AM
1

Then there’s the fact sex is enjoyable regardless of orgasm This is true too. Sex is enjoyable even without orgasm and, if she's worked up, she can just finish herself off afterward. Orgasms are wonderful but the journey to them is pretty great too.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 05:23 AM
2

The benefit is to have sex. Sexual pleasure. Not all casual sex is unpleasant for the woman. It is true that some women try casual sex and find it unfulfilling, but others find it quite enjoyable.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 05:18 AM
3

No, it's BIOLOGY. Jesus why is that difficult for you to understand? I understand biology just fine. You clearly are not able to comprehend what I'm talking about, but hey, your feelz are important. I comprehend what you are saying. And you clearly are getting in your feels much more than I am. I never said we cannot respect them but the fact is that first glance will be run through a filter of physical attraction. I asked why a woman can't dress sexy and be viewed as more than a sex object, mea…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 05:15 AM
2

Because lots of women know what they want and how to get it responsibly, sex is healthy and very nice and not all men are children. This. Exactly. Hook-ups and FWB can be quite enjoyable for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 04:22 AM
5

Having sex is fun. That's what she gets out of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 04:15 AM
3

That's an excuse to objectify women. A man can have a physical response to a woman dressing sexy, but that physical response doesn't keep him from recognizing she's a human being with more to her than a sexy body. Many men are able to appreciate women's bodies while also respecting them as human beings and not objectifying them.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 04:00 AM
1

Men and women need money the same. One doesn't need it more than the other. The idea that men can't get women if they aren't in high paying jobs is false.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 03:42 AM
4

I agree with you. I don't believe a woman should focus on her n-count for the sole purpose of getting a man in the future. She should live her life however she wishes and strive to find a compatible partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 03:12 AM
6

I don't believe this to be true because, most of the time, you don't know someone's number of past sexual partners until you get to know them. We don't walk around with our n-count on our foreheads. And, to be honest, when I was dating, I would have been immediately turned off by someone who found me more or less attractive based on my n-count.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 03:08 AM
2

Depends on the guy. Some guys, sexual attraction first and then, after getting to know them, romantic attraction if I was drawn to their personalities. Other guys, I felt no attraction at first and then, after getting to know them, I felt romantic and sexual attraction at the same time. I never acted on sexual attraction until getting to know the guy first. I just never had a desire to have sex with strangers, but I didn't have to want a relationship with a guy to have sex with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 01:37 AM
1

Wouldn't this be true of every interaction though? If you believe a man with those beliefs will be dishonest and hide it from you, he would do so in all interactions. Which means you couldn't trust anything he said. So if you are more interested in not dating those men than you are in dating one of the other men, you should probably avoid all men. If I was dating, I wouldn't want to date one of those men either but my strategy would be to just pay attention to his words and actions. If anything …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 01:23 AM
2

This tells me shit about his beliefs concidering women and a more liberal lifestyle. Yeah, I end shit over that. But women and men both ask this of partners. It is natural to be curious. It doesn't mean the woman or man will automatically have a problem with a high number. Obviously, you do what you want, but it makes more sense to have a conversation with the man to see why he asked instead of assuming his views.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/21 12:40 AM
3

Yeah, I have never noticed a correlation between number of sexual partners and political leanings.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/21 09:42 PM
1

I know very few women like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/21 09:39 PM
2

Exactly. In my experience, it just comes up naturally. Definitely isn't a relationship-ending question. Political leanings have nothing to do with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/21 09:27 PM
1

I don't get offended by the question, but I wouldn't answer just anyone. Online, in an anonymous forum, I don't care to answer. In relationships, I have no problem answering as long as my partner will disclose as well. The most tactful way to find out is after you and your partner get to know each other and it comes up naturally when discussing sexual history.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/21 09:25 PM
1

Women spend their money on other people all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/21 06:59 PM
9

Men in dire circumstances can resort to prostitution as well, but their customers are almost always male.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/21 06:52 PM
3

Five.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/21 06:42 PM
10

Became sexually active at 15. Longest time without sex since then was about 4 months. Longest time single was a year and a half. The 4 month gap happened during the transition between being single and getting into another LTR. Once I decided I wanted to be single for awhile, I acquired two FWBs to meet my sexual needs until I was ready for a relationship. Once I met someone I wanted to have a relationship with, I ended the FWB arrangements and focused on getting into a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/21 06:19 PM
8

You are exactly right. Some men act like women have to sacrifice being sexy to be viewed as a human being. Why can't it be both? Why can't a woman dress sexy and be viewed as more than a sex object? Plus, like you said, how women dress isn't really the issue anyway. Some men sexualize women regardless. Ironically, countries where women are covered up have more reports of rape and sexual assault. Because rape is about power, not sex. That's why the argument some people make about women "asking to…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/21 04:50 PM
3

You are exactly right. Some men act like women have to sacrifice being sexy to be viewed as a human being. Why can't it be both? Why can't a woman dress sexy and be viewed as more than a sex object? Plus, like you said, how women dress isn't really the issue anyway. Some men sexualize women regardless. Ironically, countries where women are covered up have more reports of rape and sexual assault. Because rape is about power, not sex. That's why the argument some people make about women "asking to…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/21 04:49 PM
9

You are exactly right. Some men act like women have to sacrifice being sexy to be viewed as a human being. Why can't it be both? Why can't a woman dress sexy and be viewed as more than a sex object? Plus, like you said, how women dress isn't really the issue anyway. Some men sexualize women regardless. Ironically, countries where women are covered up have more reports of rape and sexual assault. Because rape is about power, not sex. That's why the argument some people make about women "asking to…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/21 04:49 PM
8

It's a revenge fantasy. It makes them feel better to think women who rejected them will one day cry their eyes out and realize the error of their ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/21 04:01 PM
13

Men should stop this "WhAT do YoU BrInG to thE Table?" thing. Obviously women bring a lot if you want them so badly and creating so many posts about it. Completely agree. If women didn't bring anything to the table, they wouldn't be complaining so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/21 03:37 PM
1

True. But there's not any studies on this particular matter that I am aware of. There are lots of articles about it, however. Particularly about how a woman can get sex anytime she wants, but it is usually not the kind of sex that will satisfy her needs/wants. Either way, it is generally known and accepted that women can have sex anytime they want, even with the "hottest" guys. Supply and demand.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/21 03:16 PM
2

Woman. No. I couldn't justify gambling away my kids' college money.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/21 05:02 AM
4

Isn't it different though based on how attractive the woman is? Nope, it's really not. Lots of hot men don't care. I am a man, have had many friends who are women saying they don't find online dating as easy as everyone is claiming here. I think it does depend on the girl. I don't think you can blanket every girl as having it much easier to find someone they want to have sex with. It is true that some women have difficulty, but that's usually because they aren't "doing it" correctly. By "doing i…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/21 04:27 AM
5

I'm a woman. What he is saying is true. Do I count as a source?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/21 04:16 AM
3

I agree with you. I think the vast majority of people realize what they see in the media isn't real.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/21 11:42 PM
1

When I say I know very few men in real life with no options, I am talking about what I have observed and based on men I've known throughout my adult life. Not just men I liked romantically, but also friends, family, acquaintances and co-workers. For friends, co-workers and family, I am/was aware of their options through conversations. For acquaintances, I became aware through conversation and observation. The few men I knew/have known with zero options were men who had virtually no social intera…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/21 09:44 PM
1

Maybe he doesn't have those options. I don't know. I'm just going off what most men say on here. Most seem to have options, but they don't like their options. I've known very few men in real life who had no options whatsoever.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/21 04:57 AM
1

Exactly. I don't understand how people can be so careless about their own health and well-being.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/21 03:34 AM
1

Are you seriously trying to say men have it worse because they need to wear a condom to reduce the risk of unwanted pregnancy? And because it's the woman's choice about what to do with the pregnancy since it is her body? Meanwhile, the woman is the one who is pregnant and the one who takes on the health risks associated with pregnancy and/or abortion. She's also the one who has to make the difficult decision on what to do. If a man is that worried about getting a woman pregnant, he should take p…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/21 01:01 AM
1

Men absolutely should respect women's right to say no. If a man and a woman don't see eye on eye on when to have sex, they should communicate with each other about it. If their views aren't compatible, they each should move on to someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/21 12:46 AM
6

This is absolutely true. Everyone needs to be responsible for their sexual choices and have sex responsibly. If it is something a woman is really worried about, she shouldn't have sex. All you can do is reduce risk. Make the best choice possible of partner and use birth control. If you doubt your partner will stick with you in case of pregnancy or if the effectiveness of your chosen birth control isn't high enough to reduce your worry, abstain.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/21 10:00 PM
2

That could be it too. Maybe they misunderstand the effectiveness of condoms.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/21 09:53 PM
5

As a woman, the only thing I can think of is the women felt rejected in some way when you pulled out. It doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever, but it's the only possible reason that makes sense to me. Maybe because most men don't pull out if they are using a condom, the women thought you pulled out because of something negative you felt towards them personally? Maybe if they knew it was your standard practice, they wouldn't have been offended? I'm not sure. It seems a strange thing to get off…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/21 09:22 PM
10

If 2 percent risk is too high for you, don't have sex or pull out as well to reduce your risk even more. You also can combine condoms with spermicide. Nothing is 100 percent except abstaining.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/21 09:17 PM
3

Exactly. It's ridiculous to make responsible sex a gendered issue. If you are having sex, you need to be responsible. Period.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/21 09:15 PM
10

You are exactly right. The bare minimum of responsibility is using a condom when having sex outside of a committed, monogamous relationship. It's not that difficult.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/21 08:16 PM
3

That's why STDs have been increasing for 5 or 6 years in a row after a long period of decreasing numbers. America's STD Rate at Record High Again Men and women both need to take responsibility for preventing pregnancy and for their sexual wellness.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/21 08:08 PM
5

You are exactly right. It is both the man and woman's responsibility to prevent pregnancy.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/21 08:03 PM
5

Wear a condom. Condoms are 98 percent effective when used correctly and 85 percent effective with "real world" usage. If you are still worried, wear a condom and pull out. Also, ask her if she is on birth control. If you don't trust her to be honest, then don't have sex with her. If you don't trust her to be honest, you shouldn't have sex with her anyway without a condom due to the risk of STIs.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/21 07:58 PM
1

I think both sexes get the same amount of attention as they age. Studies have shown that both sexes tend to date in their own age groups all throughout their lives. Studies also have shown, however, that men tend to think women in their early 20s are the most attractive women no matter how old the men, themselves, are. Women tend to find men around their own age most attractive. Despite that, however, most men choose to date in their own age groups.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/21 07:23 PM
1

I don't believe that to be the case. While I do agree more older men seek younger women than older women seek younger men, I don't believe, for the most part, women over 40 are opting out of the dating scene due to lack of options.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/21 07:12 PM
1

That's great! I am happy for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/21 06:59 PM
1

You're welcome. It's not all the men here; just some of them have posted such statements.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/21 03:07 AM
3

I used the word "deserve" because I've seen it used on this sub many times. I do not think it is wrong for a man to want to be attracted to his partner in all aspects. Attraction is important. I don't feel like anyone should settle because that is a basis for an unhealthy relationship. It just seems to me based on what some men on this sub say, they do not give anyone a chance who doesn't meet a certain looks threshold or who doesn't check certain checkboxes on a list of preferences. Which is fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/21 01:55 AM
1

Well, in most places a woman reports her rape, and the government works to prove it. If the government could not prove it, or discovered that it was not rape, then there would be no reason for compensation. Making the statement "I was raped" does not qualify anyone to special licensure to extract resources from others just on the basis of having said something. This is why false allegations need to carry a penalty, because otherwise you're incentivizing false allegations. Rape is underreported. …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/21 01:43 AM
1

Looks aren’t the only factor here though, you can have more sexual attraction overall to a person who meets that threshold and also has a personality/acts in a way which you find highly attractive than a person who’s your ideal physically but you find their personality unattractive. I think most people would rather sleep with an slightly above average looking person who’s amazing in bed than a super above average looking person who’s terrible in bed. Or date an interesting, intelligent, funny, s…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/21 12:32 AM
2

A person should determine why the drop off occurred and if it can be changed, if the relationship is satisfactory in other ways. You are exactly right. It is completely normal for sex to wax and wane in LTRs. It's usually the result of life getting in the way, not because partners don't desire each other. It's unrealistic to think people in LTRs are going to have the same amount of sex throughout their entire lives. The important thing is that they communicate with each other and make sure each …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/21 12:20 AM
1

But I feel like men tend to have really unrealistically high standards. As a woman, I agree with you that some men have unrealistically high standards. Fortunately, there are men out there who are wonderful and don't view women in the ways that lead to such high standards. I'm sorry men have said the things to you that you listed in your other post and I wish you luck finding the right man.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/21 11:33 PM
1

This is what I don't understand. I believe most men hold this view. But a lot of men on here advocate changes to force women to pair up with men they otherwise wouldn't have anything to do with. How is that a win for anyone? And those same men are usually vocal about what kind of women they aren't going to date, no matter what. Why isn't the answer to force them to date women they aren't attracted to? Don't misunderstand; I don't think anyone should be forced to date anyone else. I just think it…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/21 11:12 PM
2

I've been reading FDS for about a year. The success stories are incredibly few and far between, and many of them sound made up to begin with. Just from what I've read about FDS, I would highly doubt any "success" story if I saw one. It just sounds like women who hate men.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/21 10:52 PM
–

Doesn't this push against the narrative of men on Youtube that say women "die alone" by not choosing a partner in time so they end up perpetually seeking one? It seems that these over 40 women prefer to be cat ladies more so than men who are actively seeking a partner (not casual). Why the discrepancy? It does push against that narrative because that narrative is based on a revenge fantasy instead of reality. I think the discrepancy between men and women on this issue is complex and not the resu…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/21 10:28 PM
3

So, if I am understanding this correctly, a woman would have to prove her pregnancy was the result of rape to get governmental assistance for an abortion, (because I am assuming just her word wouldn't be enough since the inevitable claim would be that women are lying to get free abortions) but if she decides to have the baby, she forfeits government assistance. Even though she was raped. Wow. It seems like the solutions posed on this sub all entail limiting the choices for women or "punishing" t…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/21 09:56 PM
1

The generalizations I see posted here lead me to believe you are right. I just don't understand how anyone would life experience would believe some of the things I read here.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/21 08:29 PM
1

With women providing for themselves and gender equality prevalent, I think we are seeing that men and women are not so different. One of the biggest shocks is just how much surface level attributes matter to women, only when they are older to they start to care more about holistic traits. Some men and women value the surface level traits more or less but overall it seems that both sides have a closer preference than what we thought in the past. I do agree that women care more about surface level…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/21 08:23 PM
1

Might be worth looking a level or two below your looksmatch level. Just date. Date up the SMV scale. Date down it. Talk to women. Learn about the ways they’re different from you and your buddies. You don’t have to be promiscuous. Just have fun! You might find a situation where a woman you never would have saw yourself with ends up being a crazy good match for you. This is some of the best advice I have seen on this sub and, honestly, what most people do in real life. People here focus so much on…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/21 06:39 PM
1

If women use looks and can't cultivate connection after, that's on them. Can't blame men for not feeling it with her. Well, I don't think anyone is to "blame." It takes both partners to cultivate a connection. If either one isn't "feeling it", it's time to move on. That's definitely true but what I said can also be concurrently true. They want to stand out and pick the very best. I agree. That can be true as well. If you don't think women care about this too you are in a different universe. Go s…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/21 01:49 PM
1

Very reasonable to want that and I hope you and the other lovely women on here find it. Thank you. I am married, actually, but I hope all women on here trying to find someone finds it as well. It is questionable judgement to use looks to obtain said relationship and then surprise pikachu when that relationship is based on physical attributes. I don't see how one wouldn't expect that but I have been called dense before ;) I agree with you! I don't think there's anything wrong with using looks to …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/21 10:34 PM
1

I'm not speaking from a lot of experience but basically they were wilder and would party more. One dated a college drug dealer the other was in fwb with one so I was not be their type, I was nerdier. More there but that's the gist. Oh, ok. I understand. And yeah, this happens. I've never really noticed this being an exclusively female phenomenon though. Seems to be a "youth" thing. Some young females and males gravitate toward more "fun" partners who don't take anything seriously. Then as they g…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/21 10:15 PM
0

Actually the opposite is true. The more "liberated" women are, the more likely they are to stick to traditional gender roles. The link in the comment I responded to proves otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/21 09:52 PM
1

As they should be. If you gain it with X, you can lose it with X. That was the whole point of my post to begin with. Most women want to gain a relationship for more than our looks. Most women don't want to gain a man for a relationship with just our physical attributes. I have friends who don't flaunt their body at all in successful relationships with good men and then I have my thot friends taking thong pics in Cabo for the gram. Guess which one will be more insecure when she bags a dude? Depen…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/21 12:20 AM
1

I've heard it from women that I've been with that if I met them when we were younger, they would have blown me off. I don't think women realize just how full of themselves they're in their early twenties, life has a way of humbling people though. Did they give reasons why they would have blown you off? I think that's important. If a reason why is because, "I don't find you attractive", then I wouldn't recommend anyone stick around for a relationship with that person. Men don't completely change …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/21 12:02 AM
1

You're reading into my statements to try to fit your viewpoint. Who said plan B? Changing priorities doesn't mean someone is a plan B. It isn't degrading at all. As we change, what we may look for in a partner changes. Men talk about this "plan B" concept as if women reach a certain age and then go back to find all the specific men they "rejected" and try to get into relationships with them. This is not happening on a large scale. Men are assuming the women wouldn't have been interested in them …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/21 10:30 PM
1

Yes, and most women are insecure. Hypergamy is a double-edged sword. Always aiming up means by definition you are lower which obvi breeds insecurity. It's actually surprising that women are not more insecure. Women are insecure because of society telling us our value and worth is tied up mostly in our looks. Like I said, I do not know many women who feel they are "below" their partners. This is a thing I only see discussed on the internet, usually by men claiming women feel this way. I do know, …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/21 09:48 PM
1

No. That's not what I mean. I mean that her priorities may change. Not that she got burned by anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/21 09:31 PM
7

Yes. This is the answer. As women have more options and face less societal pressure to fit into traditional gender roles, more are choosing to delay children or not have them at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/21 09:16 PM
1

Sometimes I wonder if the difference that is being perceived is the result of the choices the women are making. Like I said, most women I know attract the same league of men throughout their 20s and 30s. I suppose the more accurate statement would be the same leagues of men, but usually the men the women choose changes with age. You live, you learn, you change, you value different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/21 07:52 PM
1

But women also have no problem leveraging their looks to date up. If she wasn't leveraging out of her league in the first place she wouldn't be insecure about it. The "league" the man is in makes no difference. Most women would be insecure in their relationship knowing the guy only wants her for her looks no matter what "league" he is in. Looks are fleeting and there's no solid basis for commitment if he only cares about her looks. Most women don't go around thinking their partners are "out of t…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/21 07:42 PM
2

If given a choice between "has had casual sex" and "has hired sex workers", most women would prefer their partners had casual sex in the past instead of learning they hired sex workers.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/21 04:56 PM
1

Most women I know attract the same league of men throughout their 20s and 30s. I don't have much personal experience with women in their 40s, but the ones I have known, this has still held true. No matter how attractive the woman is, this remains true: whatever league of men she attracted for sex and/or relationships in her 20s is the same league of men she attracts in her 30s. There is no "drop off."
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/21 05:09 AM
2

It's not about being unique to men; it's about being someone the guy wants to spend time with because he likes who I am as a person. Whether it's because we connect on a deeper level, he finds me interesting or he thinks I'm fun to be around, it's just more than superficial reasons. When I was dating, if I found a guy boring, I didn't date him. If I had ever found out a guy thought I was boring, I wouldn't have dated him. And I don't know why a guy would want to date anyone he finds boring. That…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/21 05:04 AM
2

Never said those things make a woman special. Didn't even mention job. I actually don't believe people should define who they are as a person by their occupation or find value/meaning in life through their job. But that's a different topic.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/21 04:41 AM
2

I see this opinion often in this sub, but this isn't reality for most women.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/21 04:40 AM
3

A guy like this talks to women and isn’t picky. That’s what’s going on here. Exactly. And this example isn't rare either. There are guys like this everywhere who have no trouble finding women.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/21 03:40 AM
3

Really, you've never opened your Instagram app? I said "met in my life". As in, in real life. Instagram is not representative of real life. "Spontaneity" & "adventurousness" aren't talents that's basically saying you're "random" & thinking it's personality. No, talents are separate from character traits. But being spontaneous and adventurous are character traits and a part of someone's personality. Some people are adventurous, some aren't. Some people are spontaneous, some aren't. Deciding you w…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/21 02:42 AM
–

No. If a woman wants to keep going after the same guys later in life, she can still have them. This is exactly right. I am not sure where the guys on this sub get that a woman has to "settle" when she gets older. It's definitely a revenge fantasy not based in reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/21 01:24 AM
–

I'm not sure what women you have encountered, but your description of women fits very few women I have met in my life. Furthermore, I would expect anyone with this view of women to avoid them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/21 12:33 AM
–

Depends on the woman and her personality. Intelligence, creativity, compassion, friendliness, adventurous spirit, confidence, sense of humor, how capable she is, generosity, her spontaneity, etc. Those are just examples of characteristics a woman can possess. Whatever traits make her who she is, those are the traits she wants to be valued for. She wants to be accepted, appreciated and loved for who she is rather than how she looks. A woman wants a man to enjoy spending time with her. Appreciatin…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/21 12:29 AM
3

Being friend zoned by a woman happens for two reasons: She never saw you as a potential romantic interest to begin with. You and the woman became such close friends that you are best friends and you would have huge holes in your lives if you tried a romantic relationship, it didn't work and the friendship is lost. A woman doesn't banish a guy to the friend zone forever if she sees any potential at all for a relationship unless she is very close with the guy. Only exceptions to these two things a…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/21 07:44 PM
2

Yes. This. Men on this sub underestimate the power of social circles.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/21 07:36 PM
–

I think cold approach does more harm than good for people on this sub as far as frustration they feel in trying to get into romantic relationships with women. Most women I have known would turn down a random stranger as well, no matter what. Cold approach is fine, but you have to realize rejection isn't necessarily because the women are rejecting you.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/21 07:33 PM
–

Many women yearn to be wanted for more than their physical beauty. When a woman feels like all she brings to the table is her looks, she is more likely to be insecure in a relationship because what if a prettier woman comes along? What about as she ages and her looks change? Will her partner leave for a younger woman? Lots of women are insecure about their looks because they are told from a young age that our beauty determines our worth. When looking for a partner, if our beauty is the only reas…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/21 07:08 PM
2

Some men use their "toys" as status symbols and to "look better" to others. Some men, if their friend gets a boat, they want to get a bigger boat. Some men, when one of them buys a motorcycle, all of a sudden, all of them end up buying motorcycles. Some men can't help but compete, but these competitions result in many men buying "toys" they normally wouldn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/21 06:22 PM
4

My height and perfect facially and aesthetically. But I'm 5'9", so this is an easy question. Most men I've dated have been my exact height or an inch or so taller.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/21 04:24 AM
1

I think now more than ever, people are aware that kids literally change your life, and some people just don't want to do that unless they have nothing else going on. For people I know who either delayed having kids or have decided not to have them at all, this was the biggest reason. The life change.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/21 03:07 AM
1

There are plenty of good reasons. Of course, waiting until you are more financially stable is wise. Sure, you can cut back on luxury expenses and "get by" but why do that? Makes more sense to wait and not have to struggle as much or at all, depending on your financial situation. Higher education. Kids are a distraction from your studies and also can be a financial barrier to pursuing an advanced degree. Of course, it can be done. But again, why have kids when you can just wait until after school…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/21 11:40 PM
2

Do people actually say that women should postpone having kids? Yes. Lots of people. And for good reason. The rest of your post is just sexism and attacking women's sexuality.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/21 05:14 PM
1

I understand. It's just that most people I have known with little to no experience with the opposite sex have had no idea what their partner was thinking instead of assuming they want/don't want sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/21 04:52 PM
1

Then why did you think she wanted it as much as you did like you said in an earlier reply? It sounds like her non-verbal signals were pretty clear. I'm sorry you were with her so long, but it sounds like you two weren't compatible and wanted different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/21 03:59 PM
1

Well, I did with the bed thing. What else could I do? I meant a physical move. Kiss her passionately, kiss her neck, put one or both hands in her hair, rub your hand(s) along her arms or down her back, etc. If you don't want to be too forward, find the bottom of her shirt, slip your hand underneath just enough to let your fingers graze her skin. Best place to do this is hip or back. You also could slip your fingers slightly beyond the waistband of her pants; not the whole hand, just some fingers…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/21 03:17 PM
1

Yes they are. Been there, seen it. You've been around all women? No, you haven't. But even if you had, it is obvious you project onto women what you want to see. They really aren't all that complex at their cores. I agree, regarding certain things. But as far as relationships, people are complex. So you've fucked men you're not sexually attracted to? Why, pray tell? No, that's not what I meant. I was saying a woman doesn't automatically have sex with a man just because she is sexually attracted …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/21 02:44 PM
0

AWALT. Not all women are like that. People are too complex for such generalizations. Right; cause women lie to men but never to each other. Okaaayy. I didn't say women don't lie to each other, but there's not really a point in lying about sexual attraction to a man to your female friends. Sexual attraction to men is one of the things female friends discuss. It is true. There's only one reason women make men wait - lack of sexual attraction. There's no reason to make a hot man wait. There's no do…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 06:30 PM
3

Soulmate I feel isn't about looks but in that connection on a deeper level. While I don't believe in soulmates, I do believe in having a deeper connection with someone on a mental/emotional level and looks are secondary to that connection. Lots of people seem to miss the fact that if you have a deep connection with someone, that itself can make a person more attractive to you. It is the phenomenon of someone becoming more attractive to you once you learn their personality but on a much larger sc…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 05:39 PM
2

No, it's men watching what you do, and watching who you actually sleep with and who you make wait. I think you are hanging around the wrong women if this is what you are actually seeing irl. Talk is cheap. That's what women say. Yeah, I've heard those same lies too. This isn't lies. This is actual "women talk" between women, discussing our feelings and thoughts and seeking advice. Women say it because it is true. No, there's only one that's actually true - her expectation that he commit and inve…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 05:27 PM
5

What's your definition of "fast"?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 05:18 PM
1

We never talked about sex. I was hoping it would happen naturally, I thought she wanted as much as I did. I see. I understand it is difficult for some people to communicate their wants and needs to their partner, but communication is so very important in relationships. Without it, both parties are ascribing things to each other that may not be true. Did you never make a move either? That's typically when a discussion would happen. I'm not very good expressing how I feel. I don't do confrontation…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 05:15 PM
4

It's so a woman can have sex with whomever she wishes and not get pregnant. You just assume all women have the same motivations to fit your narrative, but the story you are telling yourself is not reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 04:58 PM
4

I agree. Much of the relationship discussion in this sub completely leaves out the most important parts of relationships like love and connection.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 04:53 PM
1

So if this was real would you take the test? I don't believe any such test is possible, but in this hypothetical world, yes. If you are already in a relationship would you get it and ask your partner to get it? Yes, I would get it and ask my partner if they were interested in taking it as well. Just for the fun of it. If your match came back as someone you would not consider your type (Race, Religion, socioeconomic background etc) would you still try and be with them? If I were single, sure. I w…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 04:48 PM
2

I would recommend communicating with your partner in the future. Perhaps you would have discovered you guys were incompatible before a year had passed. The incident you are describing, it would have been perfectly reasonable for you to bring up the discussion of sex then. It sounds like she was irritated because she recognized you purposefully made sure there was only one bed. I don't know what prior discussions you guys had about sex but it seems like you knew she wasn't ready for it. But eithe…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 04:26 PM
1

I know why women don't fuck men right away. It's because of lack of sexual attraction. This viewpoint is usually men projecting their own thoughts onto women. As an adult woman, I've had many conversations through the years with girlfriends who were attracted to and wanted to sleep with the men they were dating but they just didn't feel like it was the right time yet, for various reasons. Or they wanted to wait so the man wouldn't think they were a "slut." I know this because there's no downside…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 03:49 PM
4

Nearly all women HAVE slept with other men fast. I don't need to know a woman well, or at all, to know that. Damn near EVERY woman has slept with a Chad rapidly because there's no reason not to. This isn't true. And you are projecting your beliefs onto all women without getting to know a woman first. You are correct that you get to decide whether you do that or not but you are creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 03:39 PM
4

Why do you think that's been done? Because women have been screaming "REDUCE THE RISKS!! REDUCE THE RISKS!! SO WE CAN FUCK CHAD WITH NO CONSEQUENCES!!" Men said OK! OK! HERE YOU GO!! Now you can fuck Chad with no risks. This is so far from reality. Birth control is used to stop forced motherhood on women. It's used during casual sex and sex in committed, long-term relationships. It's about a woman choosing how many kids she has, if any.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 03:32 PM
8

My opinion is, if you have to convince yourself to get married, you shouldn't get married. So many people get married for the wrong reasons and end up unhappy and/or divorced. Based on your post, I don't think you should get married unless you fall in love with someone you can't imagine spending your life without. Apart from that, stay single.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 04:31 AM
3

It depends on the woman. Some women, the number is very important. Others don't care. And then there are some who decide on a case-by-case basis, which is what I fall under. It depends on the guy and why his number is so high. How does he treat women? What does he think about women who have his same number? I don't have a high number, but if I did, I wouldn't want to be judged by different standards just because I'm a woman by my partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 04:23 AM
3

It also seems to me that the men and women who fall into these two categories are typically the men and women with the least amount of actual experience with the opposite sex. Unrealistic expectations formed by misconceptions.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 08:02 PM
3

You forgo a large amount of info about how a guy conducts himself if you don't witness his approach. This isn't necessarily the case. When most women "approach", they aren't leading with an offer of a date. They strike up a conversation and flirt. A woman can gather a lot of information about a man during this interaction. There is also the increasing awareness that there exist guys who see anyone who is not the improbably proportioned anime girl of their dreams as an insult to them worth gettin…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 11:56 PM
2

It is true this is a concern women have, of ending up dead by the end of a first date, however, I would argue that the best way to lower this risk is for women to approach men they are interested in instead of waiting for men to come to them. While not always the case, most killers pursue their victims, not the other way around (when talking about women being murdered by men on dates.)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 09:05 PM
11

Well, I guess I am giving the unpopular opinion here but no, as a woman, I do not believe this. I have known many men who refused to approach women they were interested in because of all sorts of reasons but usually it is because they felt like the women weren't interested/wouldn't be interested. And this is based on friendships with men. When I was dating, I applied this knowledge and never held the attitude that if a man wanted me, he would approach me. If I liked a guy, I would let him know i…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 06:36 PM
11

Agreed. Cold approach is not nearly as effective as social groups.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 06:07 PM
9

I think men who actually enjoy spending time with women have more success sexually.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 04:25 AM
1

That happens too. I've been in situations where we've been three very attractive girls calling guys over to fuck, and half a dozen guys have stood dick in hand refusing to put out. This isn't a situation most women find themselves in. These are the guys who will show up and pay for sex. Imagine what you get with just one guy. You're not going to have hot encounter with Fabio. Group sex situations are not the norm and cannot be compared to one-on-one situations. No there aren't. I have the survey…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 04:04 AM
1

It's not normal to be "single" as a woman. That's called being a spinster, you're only single because a) no man wants you or b) you're holding out for better (richer) man. Some women are single because they choose to be single, not because no man wants them or because they are holding out for a better man. Yes, some women are single because they can't find a man they want, but that's not always the case. Why can't a woman want to be single? Because they get lonely. People are not meant to live a…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 01:09 AM
0

Attraction is very important in a relationship, but attraction comes from more than looks alone. The phenomenon of finding a person more attractive after getting to know more about them is a very real thing that is often completely ignored on this sub. I myself have experienced this and many women I have known have experienced it as well. You meet a guy, you think he's "okay" or nothing particularly special in the looks department. You get to know him a little bit and something about his persona…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/21 07:36 AM
1

I definitely think there's too much internet and not enough real life interaction going on for a lot of guys in this sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/21 07:24 AM
1

This. So many men on this sub need to get this. This is reality; not the story a lot of men are telling themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/21 06:26 AM
1

No woman wants to stay single. It's seen as a big failure. The implication is that no man wants her, or that she can't keep a man. Also being alone sucks. Society may view her a certain way, but some women do choose to remain single their entire lives. It's a small percentage of women, but they do exist. Otherwise, it's perfectly normal for a woman to go through periods where she wants to remain single. If she is attracted to the guy, why would she not want to have sex with him? She may just wan…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/21 12:10 AM
1

Why would they not want a relationship? No woman wants to be alone. There are many reasons a woman may want to stay single. While there are women who prefer to be single throughout their entire lives, I am speaking mainly about women having periods in their lives where they wish to remain single. If you want sex from a guy, then you want sex from him every day. The most practical way to get that is to move him into your home. It's not true that just because a woman wants sex from a guy, she want…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/21 03:47 PM
1

I said the same thing to my man when I first met him: "we can just have sex, you don't have to be my bf". Ofc you don't lead with wanting a relationship because it will scare the guy off. This is common sense. I've known women to do this, but it's far from "common sense." It's setting yourself up for failure and hurt feelings by not communicating what you really want. A woman wanting a relationship doesn't scare every guy off; there are men who want relationships too. Yes, sometimes, the woman i…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/21 01:20 PM
2

To save face? In the personal experience above, three of the women agreed the sex was just for the sake of sex, not in the hopes of obtaining a relationship. And two more women rejected the offer of a relationship. Doesn't sound like "saving face" after being "pumped and dumped" to me. Plenty of women desire no strings attached sex for the sole purpose of sexual fulfillment/satisfaction. My experience as a woman and the experiences of women I have known in my life must be quite different from yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 11:31 PM
1

A woman definitely does NOT want to live with every guy she sleeps with and it is not uncommon for a woman to have sex with a man she doesn't want a relationship with.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/21 09:38 PM
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