~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| 1 | Make this make senseI wrote it off and didn’t reply. The next morning, I thought maybe it was first date jitters on her part and decided to give it another go. I mean, maybe she started to pick up on your lack of enthusiasm. Texted a bit and set up another neutral date. What the heck does "neutral date" mean? Once logistics were settled, I backed off on texting her as much. The day comes and she makes an excuse, Did you confirm the date the night before/the morning of? | /r/seduction | 19/12/25 01:16 AM |
| 9 | I can bring the girl home, but she leaves without even a kiss.Like others have said, you sound massively uncalibrated. But here are some more specifics: First off, you should be clear in your mind that bringing a woman back to yours on the premise of cooking is a conceit. Meaning, it's just a palatable story she can tell herself for why you guys went back that isn't overtly "I went to have sex with this guy." This means that sometimes you might end up making something. Other times nothing at all. (Heck, sometimes you make something after you have sex). It … | /r/seduction | 19/12/25 12:10 AM |
| 1 | Girl gave me her number but said something that threw me off.Ah gotchu. Did you just do that as your opening message? If so, that was mistake. You needed to build back some rapport, especially if the way you ended things was as rocky as you think it was. You're also getting nothing from "Damn, that's crazy." You were better off saying "lol." Yes, just that. At least that provokes and teaches you that most guys can stand to be a lot more polarizing than they think. Anyway, probably gg here given all that you've said but the good news is you can go out agai… | /r/seduction | 18/10/25 12:54 AM |
| 1 | Girl gave me her number but said something that threw me off.I joked and said, “how does it feel meeting a [my name] for the first time?” That sounds more like approval seeking on your part than a "joke." This energy from you, predictably, led to a minor shit test on her part. Are you the cool, grounded guy she hopes you are, or are you looking for a random woman you just met or validation and affirmation? While she was giving me her number, she goes, “could’ve gone worse, you could’ve been a weirdo.” These kinds of shit tests should roll of your back. Ne… | /r/seduction | 18/10/25 12:29 AM |
| 1 | I think I fucked up, advice on what to do better next time?Yep, a number of mistakes. The first is not being a leader. Statements are the name of the game here, not questions and passively waiting for her or the environment to do that for you. All you had to do was have a plan of where you wanted to go and confidently communicate that to her. Sometimes my pulls were as simple as holding out my hand and saying "come" or "let's go." If she holds tight, then I proceed to another location (a quiet room, my place, her place, your car, her car etc). But you n… | /r/seduction | 15/10/25 10:05 PM |
| 8 | Finally found the courage to talk to women, accused of being a playerThis is an interesting post. On the one hand, it seems like you've been living a totally new life these past two years. But on the other hand, you're also saying "you finally found the courage" as if you're still in the past. To me, that's one of several tells that you haven't fully embraced the new person you are/are becoming and are still locked into old ways of being and thinking. What exactly has happened in the last few years? Have you slept with some women? Dated them? Or just talked and f… | /r/seduction | 14/08/25 01:44 AM |
| 1 | Need advice on how I fumbled and what I could do better.You don’t know that for sure. Women will conjure up all kinds of excuses when they are low interest. They also won’t counteroffer with another time to hang. Anyway, I’m not even sure why this is worth being the hill you die on but again that goes back to what I said above. Good luck man. | /r/seduction | 02/07/25 06:13 PM |
| 1 | Need advice on how I fumbled and what I could do better.If this woman really wanted to see you for a proper 1 on 1 date, she would've found a way between last summer and now. | /r/seduction | 02/07/25 06:03 PM |
| 1 | Need advice on how I fumbled and what I could do better.It's not "impolite" to have boundaries when someone has been jerking you around. You made an excuse for every one of her excuses and yet are now worried about being impolite. You would never dare say her way of moving was "impolite." This bad and unbalanced way of moving always has a way of catching up to Nice Guys. Moreover, it will NEVER be a way to get your needs met. | /r/seduction | 02/07/25 05:47 PM |
| 1 | Need advice on how I fumbled and what I could do better.As always, sagas that last weeks and months with women are not the move. I'm not saying she has made everything easy or straightforward, but the situations where things are dragging on for weeks and months are rarely as fruitful as the situations where things escalate easily. You keep making excuses for her excuses but instead it's time to read the writing on the wall. This is not how a woman who truly sees you as That Guy acts. She’s been DMing me 2-3 times a week, inviting me to hang out (note… | /r/seduction | 02/07/25 05:12 PM |
| 133 | How to get laid on coffee datesThere's truth to this, but like with some of your other posts, it depends on WHO that guy is and where he is in game. A guy who is experienced doesn't need to lean on the environment to do a lot of the heavy lifting. Indeed, the environment bends to him and he can manufacture a non-platonic vibe in many settings, day and night. But that isn't true of a guy starting out, where he needs the environment to do some of the heavy lifting. Having gained the reference experiences from, say, repeated suc… | /r/seduction | 29/05/25 08:40 PM |
| 1 | Bumped into a woman I kinda/sort of knew when we were kids. Added on Insta - Where to go now?What exactly was the message you sent? Your OP also isn't completely clear re: the timeline of all of this. After randomly bumping into her, when you ended your convo, did you explicitly ask her to exchange IGs to stay in touch/plan a date or did you go home and do that after the fact? | /r/seduction | 28/05/25 03:59 PM |
| 0 | After date texting, did I fumble?After a (way too long 4hr) first date, Why do you say this? Dates can be 4 hours. But there's usually a qualitative difference between a 4 hour date where a guy and a gal sit across from a dinner table and have platonic small talk, and a 4 hour date that involves multiple locations, a sense of spontaneity/adventure and that ends with a romp back at your place or hers. Doubly so if you were just passing through. This means it was time to make as much impact as you could, not play it safe and not … | /r/seduction | 26/05/25 09:10 PM |
| 2 | Need advice nurturing leads & minimizing flakingwe plan a date in maybe a week’s time or at the end of the week or something, Too many days in advance if you're new at this. The date should happen within 1-2 days of you planning it. But a week?! No way. And I think this has been happening because I’m not keeping in touch after we agree to the date - I’d just assume meet and vibe more in person, but i think the radio silence on my end might be causing more tension on her end than i want or need. Depends on what you set up. If you were blowing … | /r/seduction | 24/04/25 12:21 PM |
| 2 | Approached a girl, got her insta but this always keeps happening? What am I doing wrong?Got her number(it was the right one I checked” messaged her asking if she was free to go out tonight and then I’ve been left on delivered. Messages like this are asking everything and giving nothing. Yes, yes if the interaction was 11/11, she would reply. But you need to learn the basics of investment first. Then you can start to break the rules as your intuition sees fit. You need to begin with a low-investment message that she can easily reply to. Not leap straight to meeting. Just because you… | /r/seduction | 15/04/25 12:57 PM |
| 6 | Fumbled while texting, how can I recoverHer sharing a photo was compliance. The only thing to do was to affirm her in a chill and grounded way ("v nice 👍🏽") and escalate. If you can't meet her irl, add her on IG and stay mildly in touch. I've met up with women months and YEARS later when I was in their town or they in mine. And all of this was achieved just by gaining passive value by them seeing my stories and lifestyle. But having indefinite flirting or indefinite platonic chat either way is not sustainable and not the move. Besides… | /r/seduction | 14/04/25 02:57 PM |
| 2 | Help me save this conversationAs the other poster said, you're playing it safe and having platonic small talk. Never gets a guy anywhere. Instead you needed to be flirty and gradually make the conversation about YOU and HER. Stop being so formal ("thanks for the recommendation"). Also what was she supposed to say to what you said? "I've been craving good ravioli for a while" And so? Why would she care? Instead, after her "gnocchi and ravioli" line I would've qualified/challenged her: "hmmm a fellow foodie. we may get along. … | /r/seduction | 13/04/25 12:22 PM |
| 2 | Why does my conversations go dead on the apps?A few common issues: Too many boring small talk questions. Taking value instead of giving value. Not getting to the point and getting off the app. Anyway if you shoot me a DM I can take a look at some of your convos. | /r/seduction | 12/04/25 10:03 PM |
| 4 | Left on seen. Am I too gamey?You can't be the guy who reopens with "Hi nice to meet you on Sunday" and "good morning ; )" and then does the gamey stuff you do at the end there. In addition to what everyone else has said, you're also incongruent. Instead be playful and less formal throughout and play upon callback humor/connection points from the initial interaction. You're overqualifying her and it comes across as weird and like you're not assuming the sale, even though you pretend to be the one in the buyer's position. | /r/seduction | 10/04/25 10:37 PM |
| 1 | I need some advice—I'm not sure if I'm overreacting or being rationalBig question. But it begins as soon as you have that first interaction with her. Are you qualifying her for spontaneity ("are you the type who if I said, I got two tickets, pack your bags and meet me at the airport, would you be overwhelmed or just say 'let's do it!'" It involves a first date that isn't just a boring sit down dinner for three hours, but one that involves multiple venues and a sense of adventure. Are you having predictable vanilla sex every time you meet or always hitting differe… | /r/seduction | 10/04/25 04:00 AM |
| 3 | I need some advice—I'm not sure if I'm overreacting or being rationalUnusual situation. But I also believe in the power of game to transcend cultural conditioning. With the right framing, Friday could be a weekly event where she sneaks away to come see you and is back early Saturday without a trace. Just a fun adventure and a chance to get away from it all in a bubble with just you. But a lot of this depends on the precedent you've established with her overall (for instance, does she consider you adventurous and have you encouraged that quality in her/the relatio… | /r/seduction | 10/04/25 02:37 AM |
| 1 | Save from overinvestment blunder?I asked, whether she wanted to come to a bar after or should we rather continue in her car (next to her) to which she said, she had to wake up early blablabla. The mistake is that you interrupted a good time to ask a hyper-rational question. It's like someone playing the wrong note in an orchestra. Statements are the name of the game here, not questions. Also, things were getting hot and heavy so why would you go to a bar? Either say something like "let's listen to some music," at which point yo… | /r/seduction | 09/04/25 11:50 PM |
| 2 | I need some advice—I'm not sure if I'm overreacting or being rationalThere's a difference between saying "Stay over this time" or "Yep let's hang with my friends and then back at mine" vs. what you said which was either passive or passive aggressive. As a man, you should focus more on the former energy, not the latter. If it means a lot to you, stand tall in that, but most of this should be communicated IN PERSON, not over text. Limited context here beyond this. What exactly do you mean by "because of her family situation?" | /r/seduction | 09/04/25 04:09 PM |
| 1 | I think I messed upIt's only been a few hours. For all we know, she may still yet hit you up. Try to have a slightly longer conversation next time. Build an actual connection over a minute or two and then ask her out. Be fun and flirty: The stuff about how busy the place is a decent way to open the conversation, but you need to then quickly pivot to a conversation about YOU and HER. You should've asked for HER number. I expect women in the early stages to be receptive and responsive, not necessarily someone who wi… | /r/seduction | 09/04/25 03:59 PM |
| 108 | Why do girls give strong, obvious indications of interest and then act rude/make you feel stupid when you approach, and how do you deal with this?this is generally what most men experience the majority of time they cold approach. I beg to differ. But part of your problem is here: But the second you finally work up the courage You shouldn't have to "finally work up the courage." Like you said, it's not a true cold approach and she was already showing interest. So you should step to her quickly, confidently, and with healthy entitlement rather than than beating around the bush, getting into your head, and hesitating. If you don't, don't be … | /r/seduction | 28/03/25 06:49 PM |
| 3 | Women have become the bane of my existenceut I just can't see how I would've coerced her to go from eating her leftovers to coming with me to A quiet place for A one on one. She was in a quiet place by your recounting. UPSTAIRS BY HERSELF lol. I simply would've arrived upstairs and said something like "ah, so it is true, you are being a party pooper. Well, I brought a deck of cards and some casimgos." etc Then you go from there. I DID try physically escalating with her throughout the trip only thing is she never reciprocated or rebuked … | /r/seduction | 27/03/25 12:22 AM |
| 12 | Women have become the bane of my existenceEh, just another common tale of a guy stuck in what I call a romantic default. I suspect this how you've always moved. What do I mean? Well, let's take the story you told. This was a woman who was giving you all the signs for several days. You did nothing. Then finally in the eleventh hour, rather than MAKING MOVES IN THE MOMENT, you defaulted to asking her out on a romantic date in some vague future. This is a party environment. You two live in different places. All that was required was findin… | /r/seduction | 26/03/25 11:46 PM |
| 23 | (20) m Sex on first date casualThat's because you're having a hyper-rational conversation about sex instead of, ya know, having sex. In the future, do not move this way. Keep things light and flirty. Then, simply invite her back based on a premise that's a bit more flattering than "hey, let's have sex." For instance, watching a movie, kicking her butt in Jenga and so on. But you're still treating casual sex like a transaction and also probably giving away the game by talking about sex as if it's a done deal. Instead, you need… | /r/seduction | 25/03/25 04:36 AM |
| 3 | Getting the conversation going after getting the numberAs others have said, with clubs, it's best to make moves in the moment and take the interaction as far as you can. You claim you were "in a hurry," but were you really?! Or was it a defense mechanism because you were afraid of messing things up if you stayed longer? On that point, never be a phone number bandit. Sounds like you guys barely connected. You opened, you closed, and then you dipped. Sure, in the moment, she was receptive. But then the dust settles in the morning and she realizes she … | /r/seduction | 25/03/25 12:13 AM |
| 2 | Text game debacle. I actually had a work event I had to attend so i couldn’t do that day, so we reschedule to Saturday. All is well. I was gonna text her Sat morning, but she sends a late night text Friday saying she all of a sudden can’t meet anymore because she’s “going into campus all day” and when I asked to reschedule she said “she’s declining to reschedule to be respectful of your time” essentially because she is busy the “next months” are busy with deadlines this week the next months and she doensnt have … | /r/seduction | 24/03/25 08:30 PM |
| 9 | How to recover from a side hug?Your mistakes are more than just the one you flagged. The "video chatting daily" before a first date also wasn't the move and eliminates all mystery. You shouldn't be this available. It also creates a false sense of knowing someone and causes you to feel overinvested in someone you barely know. This starts to explain why you were so in your head that you couldn't make proper moves in person. So no, this cuts way deeper than a side hug. And yes, take her out for drinks soon and stop talking about… | /r/seduction | 19/03/25 02:48 AM |
| 2 | How do I handle this?If you want sex, why was coffee your pitch anyway? It should've been evening drinks. Sure pick a spot near you and see what happens. | /r/seduction | 16/03/25 08:46 PM |
| 1 | Girl off dating app, we meet next day after hour long phonecall, good flirting and kino, but ghost? Wonder if I should send one more messageYep and work on your follow up too. Just based on what else you're saying "how was your Saturday?" and all that value-taking energy needs to be thrown in the bin. It's like you didn't even go on a date with her. Any guy could ask her "how was your Saturday?" It means nothing and is ridiculously generic. Instead, you want to give value and play on the different connection points of the date. Callback humor/content. And after that, you want to quickly transition into asking her out again, not blow… | /r/seduction | 13/03/25 05:28 PM |
| 3 | Girl off dating app, we meet next day after hour long phonecall, good flirting and kino, but ghost? Wonder if I should send one more messageIf you're beyond high school, a kiss on the cheek is not the move, my man. Anyway, you've been given a lot of feedback here. Take it onboard and move better next time. | /r/seduction | 13/03/25 02:57 PM |
| 3 | Girl off dating app, we meet next day after hour long phonecall, good flirting and kino, but ghost? Wonder if I should send one more messageToo many phone calls. Especially this part: we hopped on the phone for another hour And this part Something funny on the road happens before we split off so we hop on the phone to chat about it. The 10 minute FaceTime should've been sufficient enough. Towards the end of the FaceTime, instead of you marching to the beat of her drum, YOU should've taken the lead and pitched a date. Instead, you got whisked away on another phone call, to the tune of a whole additional hour. Not good. As for the dat… | /r/seduction | 13/03/25 02:43 PM |
| 4 | What did I do wrong?You were more prude than the girl. That's always gg. Also "what do you think about me?" is approval-seeking nonsense. Just the fact that you asked that question can start to transform the way she sees you and proves that your tepid behavior isn't about you being particularly respectful of boundaries or whatever, but about you being unconfident and afraid of rejection. But you need to be more confident and understand the covert/subtextual way women communicate. For instance, if she's receptive to… | /r/seduction | 13/03/25 12:48 AM |
| 6 | Girls Getting Attached After Several DatesI think you're somewhat of an unreliable narrator given where you started. It could be that they are showing SOME signs of wanting more regular dates, which you're overreacting to because you haven't shed most of your romantic idealism from your earlier days in dating when you were struggling. But that's quite a different story than them wanting you to be their committed BF after 2-3 dates. There are levels to this and what you think you're seeing is not what is actually going on, I'd say. So ke… | /r/seduction | 05/03/25 01:27 AM |
| 1 | Did I miss my shot because her coworker was there?Who knows. Try it and see. That's what the game is about. | /r/seduction | 03/03/25 02:00 AM |
| 1 | Did I miss my shot because her coworker was there?If there was time to say what you said, there was time to say what I suggested. | /r/seduction | 03/03/25 01:36 AM |
| 1 | Did I miss my shot because her coworker was there?I replied, “Shit, I just need to know a day,” and she smiled and said, “Okay, bye,” before walking off. Your response kind of felt passive while at the same time being overly sold. First establish interest on both sides, then proceed forward. So instead, I would've said something flirty and less logistical like "Hmm and will you walk me through the menu if I do ; )," "hmm and who should I ask for next time I'm here ; )" etc etc. | /r/seduction | 03/03/25 01:17 AM |
| 2 | slid into a girls instagram dms from her story birthday post - worth following up?I've used these lines in many different contexts. But they're not lines, so much as formats and hopefully things that will eventually just become something you naturally do. Really the key is the mindset behind them: Assuming familiarity, being playfully challenging/instigating, giving value vs. taking value and so on. | /r/seduction | 30/01/25 05:05 PM |
| 3 | slid into a girls instagram dms from her story birthday post - worth following up?Yes keep the convo going. But also next time give more value than a standard "happy birthday," where all she can say to that is "thanks." Because now you basically have to re-open again. So why not just make impact from the jump and already instigate enough to start a conversation? You don't even have to literally say happy birthday, which is meaningless anyway if you're a stranger. For instance, "Uh oh an Aquarius" "and did you celebrate w/Don Julio or Casamigos... there's only one right answer… | /r/seduction | 30/01/25 01:31 AM |
| 3 | Confused by a Girl's Hot and Cold Behavior: Need Advice on How to Approach Her and Keep Her EngagedAgain, I expect my GF to send me affectionate messages, not a woman I just met and haven't even had sex with. Also, beware of covert contracts and what we call keeping a scorecard. It's just not a sustainable way of moving with women, at the beginning and even five years in. Say nice things because you want to, not in the hopes of hearing it mirrored back in exactly the way that you expected 1000 times out of 1000. Nice Guys who fail to understand this are in for a life of frustration and disapp… | /r/seduction | 27/01/25 04:08 PM |
| 12 | Confused by a Girl's Hot and Cold Behavior: Need Advice on How to Approach Her and Keep Her Engaged"Sleep well, you," which felt a bit cold. Huh? I would consider this a totally normal and warm message from my GF. And this woman isn't even close to being that. Overall, you sound way too invested here and might even be an unreliable narrator (see above). Focus on keeping MILDLY in touch over text. The rest of texting should be used for planning in person dates. Live your life and if she doesn't send a text, circle back Weds-Thurs to shore up plans for the wknd. If she's still giving you the ru… | /r/seduction | 27/01/25 03:48 PM |
| 2 | I’m Lost and Don’t Know What to Do After This Messy SituationIt was a casual group thing, but by the end of the night, we were making out, like, a lot. I drove her home afterward, and everything seemed fine. Why didn't you... go inside her apartment and keep the good times going? Then things got weird. I texted her a couple of times, tried to plan a second date, but she started acting distant—short replies, saying she’s not in town, or answering hours later. That's prob because she just wanted to have a fun night with you and you failed to take it all the… | /r/seduction | 26/01/25 05:09 PM |
| 5 | Full text-game breakdown - 18-year old blonde girl from TinderGood stuff as always, chief. | /r/seduction | 26/01/25 04:57 PM |
| 1 | Men who have been in many relationships, would you say most women have anger issues?Are these women actually "angry?" Describe a few scenarios because you might be an unreliable narrator here. Overall, most men are way too afraid of women's emotions and can't stand the idea that a woman isn't always 100% happy with them. They also feel the need to inject logic into everything and "solve" her problems ("does not always have to do with me") rather than simply STFUing and listening or giving her space to work out something herself. So the solve here isn't about women "angry" or no… | /r/seduction | 26/01/25 02:44 PM |
| 2 | Long dates aren't good?Top four mistakes, none of which have to do with how long the date was: Making a big deal out of asking a woman out. Not sure what book you read but you should throw it in the bin. Because this kind of energy, where you are doing a massive build up to the simple move of asking a woman out on a first date as if you're in a movie ("One day, I told her I had something important to tell her (a strategy from one of the books), and I think she kind of had an idea of what it was about. Later, when I wa… | /r/seduction | 22/01/25 11:42 PM |
| 25 | Impossible shit testThat's not a "shit test" it's weird and childish behavior. You've also only been dating her for a few weeks and she's already acting this way. I simply wouldn't reply. To do otherwise is to validate such silly behavior. | /r/seduction | 05/01/25 04:56 PM |
| 2 | Feedback on night game — approached a woman who said she is gayThere was an attractive woman but an ugly guy friend was cockblocking. I approached her on the dance floor but she could not hear me. The ugly guy friend tried telling me to not talk to her. But she ignored him and said she could not hear me. Sounds like you already had some intel from the previous men who tried (and failed) to make impact. This should put you at an advantage, but did not. First, I would've approached them as a group. Cockblocks are often people you haven't built rapport with. S… | /r/seduction | 02/01/25 03:14 AM |
| 3 | Have a third date planned with a stunning blonde girl.What many people always default to as a comfort issue might simply be an attraction issue. Not every woman will see you as That Guy. Most won't. Is what it is. Her recently coming out of a relationship doesn't mean she doesn't want to be kissed (or more). It might simply mean she doesn't want to be kissed by you but is otherwise biding time and going on tame dates with you while she moves on from a guy she was truly invested in. If a woman is alluding to another guy when you make a move to escal… | /r/seduction | 10/12/24 02:08 AM |
| 2 | Why am I getting dumped after one date?What exactly is the goal of these first dates? This is usually where most guys go wrong. They have no plan and no sense of how to move things from A to Z based on how she is reacting. Are you ever actually trying to pull some of these women? If not, that determines how much "kino" I do. If you are trying to pull, that usually involves me not just staying at one place for several hours, but instead going to MULTIPLE VENUES, moving her around, and eventually making it back to my place or hers afte… | /r/seduction | 16/11/24 04:18 PM |
| 2 | Need Situationship HelpI text her the next day asking what the hell happened. Why didn't you just text her once you couldn't find her? Or better yet call? Her disappearance is strange. Just as strange is not texting someone you've actively been hooking up with who reconnected with you later in the night seemingly for another round. If your guy friend you were out with just disappeared wouldn't you just simply text him rather than waiting til the next day? But for some strange reason, men don't display this same health… | /r/seduction | 06/11/24 11:23 PM |
| 1 | The “game” has been good to me! I’ve had my share of gf’s, fwb’s and one night stands. Here’s my take on it!For sure, absolutely. But I don't think it's sound advice for above average looking guys either. Because the choosing signals and flat-out approaches you will often get are from women below your SMV. I'm mostly retired from the game these days, but I went out for the first time in a while and had a few good interactions. First girl I approached and quickly hooked her, then another (hotter) girl slid up next to me and was with her for a while (social proof and preselection). Then the final girl, … | /r/seduction | 04/11/24 08:32 PM |
| 5 | Girls assume I'm a playerEh. The bigger issue is your reaction to their reaction. They're likely giving a shit/comfort test. And because you wrongly interpret why they're doing it and what to do in response, this is why you are turning off women. But it's not you being a player and 6' 4" or whatever. First let's look at WHY they are saying it. Women certainly love cool attractive guys, the guys who other women also want. Part of being a cool guy is owning it, not being bashful or ashamed about it. To do otherwise is to … | /r/seduction | 27/10/24 11:38 PM |
| 13 | Just Get a Girlfriend.We also don't know the details of what happened here. For all we know, the guy got overly romantic with a woman who made it clear from the jump she only wanted some fun. Ya know, the same kind of overzealous and naive energy that playing the field for a bit tamps down. | /r/seduction | 22/10/24 04:44 PM |
| 2 | What’s going on with this girl?I’ve done many have been successful and many I’ve been rejected, this was definitely not a rejection That's because you never put yourself fully on the line. Instead, you got the validation of the guy who has "done many successful approaches," without the downside of the guy who has also been rejected. But you prefer the safety of sitting on the fence, than actually ASKING HER OUT. Sure, she could say yes. But she could also say no, so that's why you avoided the whole thing by not going for what… | /r/seduction | 22/10/24 02:34 PM |
| 179 | Just Get a Girlfriend.Eh. The first step is actually going through the fire and developing a skillset of attracting women. Then you can decide what you want to do with that skillset. For me, that meant playing the field for a while. Having my heart broken, breaking a few hearts and developing a vocabulary of what I like and don't like in women. Later, I settled into a very fulfilling relationship, where I've been for the past 2.5 years. I've actually had several very great LTRs. But I've also had a blast playing the … | /r/seduction | 22/10/24 04:42 AM |
| 7 | Had an Amazing Night, Then Got Completely Ghosted Why Does This Happen?But when I called her a couple of days later, she completely ignored me. No reply, no text back, just silence. Well, you wrongly assumed that a woman you barely know would pick up the phone out of the blue or take the initiative to call you back. She prob doesn't even know what the heck you want. In the future, hit her up with a playful text within 24-48 hours, and also sign your name at the end of that text so she knows who you are. You can even begin that communication that night. Get a back a… | /r/seduction | 18/10/24 01:00 PM |
| 7 | Don't try to negotiate with her (eye opener)Good thoughts. Totally agreed. Women are a lagging indicator | /r/seduction | 02/10/24 08:01 PM |
| 1 | Don't try to negotiate with her (eye opener)Curious to hear more about this. What foundations are those? | /r/seduction | 02/10/24 06:55 PM |
| 3 | Are girls turned off if you don’t escalate to sex on first date?They can be. But in this case, you're actually asking the wrong question. The more interesting question is why you started what you couldn't finish. What you set up is what you pay off. You revved the engine for a while ("I was grabbing her legs and ass so was being sexually forward"), to where it prob seemed like things were going to get popping. Then oddly you call off the date within ONE HOUR, even though things were going well and she was getting turned on, and made your one big move be a fi… | /r/seduction | 28/08/24 11:05 AM |
| 4 | Stood up on a date. Not sure where to go from here.We agreed to go hiking after hitting it off via text Not the greatest first date idea. She's alone with a new guy. And you're alone with a woman you've never met from online, who might actually be Bubba. I drove an hour and 40 minutes to this place and wasn’t sure Mistake#2. Going out with a woman who lives more than an HOUR and a HALF from you for a first date. Stick to women who are in your town. Or up your game such that women are invested enough in you to make that trip themselves. She made … | /r/seduction | 26/08/24 11:53 AM |
| 10 | Ended at her place but weird sexual experienceEh. I'd wager this was largely about you not finishing from her BJ and her feeling rejected because of it. Pretty surprised she straight up said this though. What did you say/how did you act before she said this? Ideally, if it was clear you weren't finishing, you should've just said it was all good, we're both too drunk, kissed her/cuddled etc, made it clear you enjoyed it, and then resumed physicality in the morning once you two were sobered up. | /r/seduction | 16/08/24 10:51 AM |
| 3 | [Long] Learn when to walk awayIn addition to some of the good advice that's already here, sometimes it's a matter of timing. Sounds like you were the guy she ran into early in the night, when the story of Weds night was just beginning. And though many guys are happy for any interest and ready to settle down right then and there, a woman wants to go through the full experience of the night. That means potentially talking to MULTIPLE GUYS, dancing with her GFs, dancing by herself, hitting the bar a few times, and then eventual… | /r/seduction | 15/08/24 07:53 PM |
| 7 | Slept with girl talked for a few days then she just ghosts!?Eh. Sounds like another classic case of having sex with a girl ONCE and becoming way too available and attached. It also sounds like you're doing way too much talking, or better yet way too much reacting and not enough leading. This is why you're focusing on the many things a woman will say in the early stages ("seemed like she was pushing towards relationship stuff." "She did mention a few times when I saw her that I'm a fuckboy?") instead of what matters which is getting her out on another DAT… | /r/seduction | 15/08/24 12:58 PM |
| 1 | Girl asked to stay in contact but never responded to textWhen I was not there, she used to even ask for me with my other coworkers. They used to say me to ask her for date, but I was always hesitant as she was like 5 years older than me Next time a woman shows interest/you're interested, make moves ASAP. The stuff where you're listening to gossip to determine how you move or otherwise overthinking things is not the move. Guys need to understand that just because a woman is interested, doesn't mean she will be perpetually interested. But when you're te… | /r/seduction | 05/08/24 03:20 PM |
| 3 | Attraction has been set but I suck at textingShe said the second her friend goes back to her own place after the weekend she wants to hook up. Translation: She wants to hook up now. And my priority would've been on getting her back to mine that same night and otherwise navigating the logistical hurdle ("let's hang a bit longer and then I'll uber you back to your friends" etc). A number would only be my last resort, not my first recourse. I'm also moving this way because experience has taught me that when a woman openly gives away the game … | /r/seduction | 27/07/24 01:08 AM |
| 2 | Date last night [Rant]I showed my cards and it back-fired. What exactly did you say? And what did she say in response? You're emotionally all over the place in the OP and these comments and for all we know, you're unreliable narrator here. | /r/seduction | 26/07/24 09:48 PM |
| 5 | Met a beautiful blond last night - ideas on how to open text?My first text to her - “hey you looked like trouble in that black dress last night” Heh. Sure, maybe I could send something like that. But you're doing the "hey trouble" stuff when it sounds like you didn't even go for a make out, nevermind trying to pull her back to your place or hers, which is my default for club interactions. Club numbers are always flaky, yes even sometimes in situations when in the moment women are singing your praises. You were talking about taking her for a nice coffee or… | /r/seduction | 20/07/24 08:32 PM |
| 2 | On the verge of getting laidJust something you two connected on on the date. An inside joke. Callback content. If all else fails, even something as simple as "hey you" does the trick. Now you're in an unflattering frame with her and one where you have to jump through hoops. | /r/seduction | 19/07/24 01:54 PM |
| 2 | On the verge of getting laid“Hey Anna, enjoyed building chemistry with you tonight Honestly, I don't care if/when we do it - I just misread you” Apologia and seriousness doesn't work with women nearly as much as men like you have been conditioned to believe it does. First off saying things like "building chemistry" isn't the move. You sound robotic and like a man who doesn't know how to actually naturally build chemistry in a covert and smooth way. Instead, you just need to be light and playful. You were better off assumin… | /r/seduction | 19/07/24 04:30 AM |
| 3 | Quick question - BirthdayNo Bday wishes today, if she will have an issue with this, I will tell her I wanted to tell her that in person. Problem solved. You're still not getting the other person's post and you're still qualifying to the girl, even in your imagination. But such is the fate for guys who overworry about her going silent on him, worry even more when they go silent on women (about something she likely has no expectation about from a stranger), when she likely isn't worried about either. | /r/seduction | 12/07/24 04:37 PM |
| 2 | When to re- approach a woman? SituationIf I were you, I'd focus on NEW women in your town, rather than trying to reform the impression of a woman 6 hours away who has already made her conclusions about you. | /r/seduction | 12/07/24 04:04 PM |
| 3 | When to re- approach a woman? Situationhit it off quite well with her. We had great topics to talk about and talked particularly about what the other seeks in a long term relationship. Eh. Consider two guys. Guy A is saying all the things women allegedly care about on paper: good provider, consistent source of reassurance, relationship-minded. But Guy B is actually making true emotional impact: teasing/challenging her, confidently expressing his opinions, going deep on emotional topics and so on. And from what I've seen, Guy B is hav… | /r/seduction | 12/07/24 12:50 PM |
| 8 | Setting the standard for OralThank you for calling out the covert contract part of this. It's the biggest issue that most guys mired in these situations need to learn. Do things because you want to do them. Not with a reward or specific outcome in mind. Genuine desire cannot be negotiated and the tit-for-tat way many men go about attraction will always be the lesser way of moving. | /r/seduction | 08/07/24 01:13 AM |
| 3 | Call her again?No need to be calling women you've been on ONE date with. She responded over text. So you should've just replied over text then and there, rather than waiting 3 days. Now you need to restart the conversation, get a short back and forth going and then ask her out. But just stick to text to do this. She says yes, you have another date. She says no or otherwise gives you the runaround, oh well on to the next. But this is the way forward. Also, if you were holding hands the last half of the date, th… | /r/seduction | 05/07/24 05:00 PM |
| 2 | Girl Changed Her Mind About Relationship OvernightWorth a shot I guess. Though for men who are waiting around for that One Special Girl, it usually doesn't end up working out. Instead, you need to start cultivating more options, going on more dates, and gaining more experiences. So that you're not stuck on just one girl. And once you become one of those men, you'll find that women have no problem circling back THEMSELVES days, weeks, months, and even years later. | /r/seduction | 04/07/24 01:32 PM |
| 2 | Girl Changed Her Mind About Relationship OvernightI'm saying the first step is having sex. That's the bare minimum for actual real investment. Then the full nature of what you guys might evolve into will come later. These things are not as black and white as inexperienced guys think they are. She might initially see things as just casual. But a month or two later, this could change. But again, the first step is making moves and given what everyone around her was saying and her own behavior, she was obviously interested. You were just more prude… | /r/seduction | 04/07/24 01:13 PM |
| 3 | Girl Changed Her Mind About Relationship OvernightYep, too much listening to the gossip and hearsay of her friends and not enough steering the ship yourself as a man. Also, women who just got out of a long relationship generally aren't looking to get into another one super soon. Instead, they're looking for fun and sex. You defaulted to formal dates, made your One Big Move be "kissing her," so it's gg. This is why she immediately said she wasn't looking to be in a relationship. Instead, you should've prioritized making moves in a casual setting… | /r/seduction | 04/07/24 12:19 PM |
| 1 | I may have done speed dating wrong (also any tips would be helpful)The problem with speed dating is that it's contrived. You want to move beyond the guardrails and conventions of the event and just actually make a real early connection one on one. That's why it's a shame you hastily ran off during the mixer part of it, which is the real gold of the event for guys who have their stuff together in this area. I'm guessing that's the reason why you cut out, not your so-called concern for that last woman. You didn't have the safety net of the speed dating and the ti… | /r/seduction | 03/07/24 03:05 PM |
| 9 | Girl shaking at first kiss, rainchecks second dateWhen I noticed that I gave the disqualifier at the end saying you're not taking me home tonight and left it there. This part in particular sounds massively uncalibrated. The only time I would say this is if I was actually taking her home and there was already vibe that the date was heading in that direction both emotionally and literally (we're heading from one bar to a bar that is logistically closer to my place etc). It is said ironically. But in the same vein, men who are actually "shy" shoul… | /r/seduction | 02/07/24 12:13 PM |
| 6 | Noticing the delusion and cognitive dissonance some women have regarding their optionsThese things are contextual. I'm only speaking of what the situation sounds like for OP, who is also in the very early stages of dating this woman and heard this once before she was about to leave. The mention of other guys can certainly be disrespect or a woman otherwise communicating that while she's fine sleeping with you, she doesn't see you as That Guy as far as a long term prospect. Or that she is fine dating you, but otherwise isn't crazy turned on by you. Regardless, I would not tolerate… | /r/seduction | 01/07/24 07:13 PM |
| 7 | Noticing the delusion and cognitive dissonance some women have regarding their optionsLol who knows man. Seddit hasn't been Seddit in years. | /r/seduction | 01/07/24 03:45 PM |
| 35 | Noticing the delusion and cognitive dissonance some women have regarding their optionsShe's totally into me, but that's not the point. Heh, that's quite the lede. Anyway, all I see here is a standard shit test. A shit test that instead of tackling with humor, emotions, and non-reactivity ( ("lol noted" "haha I now see why you moved from [your home country]" "No Eat Pray Love for you eh" etc), you applied "almighty" logic. But women do not care about the meta and never will. This is also why women hate game. They want to PLAY the game. Not be told about the game. Her goal in that … | /r/seduction | 01/07/24 02:45 PM |
| 7 | What do you guys think?First off, the stuff where you're pen palling a girl for weeks and months is not the move, and does not pan out the way dudes think it does. If a woman and I are in different cities or otherwise not able to get together for a few months, I simply add her on IG, stay MILDLY in touch with her and then ramp up communication when we're actually in the same city. Until then, I focus on women I can actually meet. In my city. In the flesh. That's what dating is for. In person meetups. Not building up t… | /r/seduction | 30/06/24 03:51 PM |
| 7 | Can't get second dates?Date #1...She asked to lay down with her and i did Why did she have to ask this? If it gets to the point where she has to overtly verbalize this, you likely could've made this move yourself much earlier. How long were you guys hanging out on the couch having a pleasant chat? There is no one size fits all for a first hookup, but men underestimate how quickly some of them can go down. They watch the whole movie. They have the whole bottle of wine and snacks. But if you're just sitting there not es… | /r/seduction | 29/06/24 10:06 PM |
| 1 | How could I screw this up...A woman doesn't want to be with a man who she needs to tell to hug him. So by dutifully complying with her request, you actually exacerbate the situation, not alleviate it. How can she trust you're doing it because you want to and not because she told you to? It's also boring and predictable. Instead, you need to be unpredictable and march to the beat of your own drum. As I always say, just because a woman asks you to do something, doesn't mean you have to do it. And if you do it, it doesn't hav… | /r/seduction | 27/06/24 03:13 PM |
| 3 | She liked my message when I asked her out?And does she actually know that you're busy this weekend? If not, it sounds like you're kicking the can down the road. So you can't exactly complain about her less than fully enthusiastic response. Next wknd is also eons away and she might not want to commit to/know her schedule for a whole week away. What's missing here is calibration. The first step for me is always saying WHAT I want the date to be ("chill bar" "new rooftop" "chill drinks in the park"). THEN once I get agreement on that, I ge… | /r/seduction | 27/06/24 02:32 PM |
| 8 | Is this girl just toying with me or did I mess up?Well my first thought is that regardless of the few feelers she's put out, have you actually ever tried to set up a DAY and TIME in advance to hang out? Not sure why you're so set on it having to be that same day. And the fact that you're always ready to just drop whatever and go meet within a few hours does not communicate good things. Get a sense of her schedule and extend the interaction a bit more. Overall with these convos, I think you're skipping a step or two. "Tell me where to go and I'l… | /r/seduction | 19/06/24 07:23 PM |
| 2 | Need help with a responsePretty lame. And just because a woman replies to you doesn't mean you've set yourself up for a good interaction with a frame that is flattering to you. You're just putting her on a pedestal with lines like this, buying into the false premise that a "Bad Man" is the only reason a woman is single. Maybe, heaven forbid, SHE was the one who messed up and a man broke up with her. Men with experience don't talk like this. They do not jump through hoops and even worse, they do not create hoops that wer… | /r/seduction | 13/06/24 03:59 PM |
| -1 | How to not fumble the attractionso the slow pace wouldn't bother her, I guess. What you really mean is that it doesn't bother you and it hope it doesn't bother her. But what I've learned after many years in the game is that there is a certain way these things need to go down. Attraction involves urgency and in person physical and emotional investment. You don't have that. Instead, you're a pen pal. And besides, people who really like each other, and especially when women like you, make time. The "busiest" woman in the world is… | /r/seduction | 12/06/24 11:43 AM |
| 1 | How to not fumble the attractionOnly 2 dates in 2 months is way off. You're moving at a glacial pace and if you're not making impact, another dude is. Less talking to her on social media and more DATES IN PERSON. Have you kissed her? Have you slept with her? These are the things that matter and if they haven't happened, you're already behind the 8 ball. | /r/seduction | 12/06/24 11:33 AM |
| 3 | It's happening again. What should I do ?"Hey Speedy Gonzalez" "Hi Usain Bolt" etc | /r/seduction | 07/06/24 04:57 AM |
| 3 | It's happening again. What should I do ?Eh. Your main problem is that a sample size of three is nothing. You need to be approaching way more. Somehow dudes who are struggling all have a similar narrative. They're stuck on one (or two) women. You need to be getting out there more, trying things, seeing what works, what doesn't, and gradually building a skillset. The second issue is that your follow ups sound off here. Your first message after getting the number a day or two later shouldn't be "hi, let's meet at x park tmrw at 5p." You'… | /r/seduction | 07/06/24 04:44 AM |
| 3 | Men who are in long term relationships - did you ever feel that you will ‘miss out’?Sometimes. Even now, there are opportunities. Seemingly even more than ever before. Once you get this part of your life handled, there are many pathways you can take and the sky is the limit. You're also less inclined to listen to group think, conventional wisdom, shaming tactics and a whole host of other things that both men and women reinforce and subscribe to. It's your life, end of the day. Here's my brief story: I played the game for many years, in between shorter LTRs. Now I've been with m… | /r/seduction | 06/06/24 11:52 PM |
| 10 | Going on a first date with a Sahara desert dry girl. How should I handle it ? And what should I expect ?She doesn't even know what she's looking for. This is a hint that you're not running the right kinds of interactions with women. Because you should never be asking a woman you barely know "why are you on here?" or "what is your goal for Tinder?" Instead, as a man, you should be telegraphing WHAT YOU want through your actions. Then interested women will meet that and disinterested women will fade away. But having a stilted conversation about "intentions" with someone you don't even know and who i… | /r/seduction | 06/06/24 06:23 PM |
| 3 | Looking for advice on how to best double text for a short term flingEh, sometimes a woman is sending feelers out like that to more than one dude and sees which one brings the most appealing vibe. That said, straight up asking her out for drinks and then passively asking "when are you free" wasn't the move in this case. Keep in mind, you're asking her to now leap all the way to going out with someone she does not know a single thing about. But what exactly do I mean by "know?" Well, conventional wisdom, even on Seddit, says rapport matters. And it does. But not a… | /r/seduction | 03/06/24 10:35 PM |
| 4 | Why will women suddenly turn their backs on you?Sounds like you're talking about a high-energy environment like a club, bar, or house party. Happens. Some of it could be because she's just not that into you. But often, it's just about the flow of the night. Especially at the beginning of the night, it's not the time to just settle on one girl and call it a night. Instead, you should be moving around, vibing with multiple people, and seeing where the night takes you. I started noticing this back in the day when I observed my natural guy friend… | /r/seduction | 02/06/24 10:08 PM |
| 3 | Why will women respond positively to flirty/teasing messages and the soft close for the date but then ghost you as soon as you ask for their availability (“When are you free?” Or “Whats ur schedule like this week?”)You're doing the playful teasing messages. But are you grounding the conversation a bit as well? Or is it just 100 percent banter? You also might not be qualifying and getting full buy in from her. But without seeing some actual chats, we're just firing blind. | /r/seduction | 01/06/24 06:37 AM |
| 3 | How to get back exgirlfriend - weird situationHeh. Dude bought a house and thought it would matter to a woman who has moved on, and made that clear years ago. At some point, some of you dudes need to learn that leaning on your provider traits as if they are the only that matter is a fool's errand. The problem isn't about the shiny objects, but what's going on on the inside. Buying a house should mean something FOR YOU and YOUR FUTURE. Not to impress some woman, from years ago at that. You still are a deeply needy man and even if you do get … | /r/seduction | 23/05/24 11:12 PM |
| 1 | Messed up date planning - how to avoid pitfalls and increase the chance of a dateGiven the fact that she's recently single, you guys already have clear familiarity, and she invited you to a high-energy concert, she's looking for some fun. That means registering as a fun guy to start, not a BF. So I would be prioritizing some sort of date near you like a chill bar or lounge within the next few days, not an active date during the day that's 2 weeks away because it's "perfect." Fun, low-pressure and striking while the iron is hot is what matters here. The stuff you're thinking … | /r/seduction | 23/05/24 01:13 AM |
| 2 | Am I already rejected and GhostedYep. There's a certain format here. And after talking for 3-4 hours, you just need to close the deal by asking for her # ("well let's hang soon. Shoot me your # and I'll hit you up tmrw") etc. Especially before you both go to bed. Then after a short back and forth over text the next day, once she's investing, then you ask her out on a date. | /r/seduction | 16/05/24 05:20 PM |
| 83 | Ex cheated on me and now wants to get back. Im scared. Please HelpIrrelevant. She doesn't respect you. And if you get back with her, more importantly, you are demonstrating that you do not respect yourself. Worry more about that than anything else. | /r/seduction | 16/05/24 05:05 PM |
| 1 | Am I already rejected and GhostedDid you exchange numbers? That conversation over Tinder should've ended with you getting her phone # before you two went to bed. Otherwise it's a huge loss of momentum. Also, there's no need to chat on the phone. You had already been chatting for 3-4 hours over text. Instead, propose a date, probably a bar near you, and get to making moves. That's what matters. Not continuing to chat with a woman over the phone, which she most likely doesn't want to do with a stranger anyway. Finally, stuff like… | /r/seduction | 16/05/24 05:04 PM |
| 2 | Adding a girl on snap or insta on your own a day or two after meeting kinda a bad idea right?You should've added her instead of making this post. Just like you should've gone up to her instead of waiting until the end of the night, when her logistics were already bad. Stop playing not to lose. | /r/seduction | 14/05/24 01:57 AM |
| 14 | (M29) Been told twice in a row recently that they didn't want to continue a sitationship since they were jealous of me dating other girls but didn't seem to want a relationship either. Throwing me off my gameEh, FWBs often have an expiration date on them. Is what it is and you have to be OK with that. Language like "what I do in my own time is my business" feels a bit clumsy though. And needlessly overt. Demonstrate, don't explicate. Some guys can at least do the explicate part of their boundaries. But in real time, when the going gets a little tough, they do not demonstrate them. And that's where the actual power lies. Hence the silly back and forth where you weirdly offered friendship at the end o… | /r/seduction | 09/05/24 01:46 PM |
| 6 | Help me with this chat where do I messed up?My first thought when a woman is just hanging out drinking wine and approaches me is to join her for another glass of wine, not to settle for a number. Strike while the iron is hot and go for the instadate and even the pull. It sounds like you guys don't even live close by. So the time to make moves was in the moment. You also should've asked for HER # straight up rather than passively writing yours down on a sheet of paper and putting the onus on her. She already did something out of the ordina… | /r/seduction | 07/05/24 09:35 PM |
| 3 | Did I just miss a great opportunity?Yep, I get it man. Keep at it. Everything I'm talking about, I learned. Often, the hard way lol. Confidence comes from competence, which stems from experience. But that's another issue with this situation, too. You went for a cocky line when you are anything but. And women never respond well to incongruent men. | /r/seduction | 06/05/24 08:24 PM |
| 9 | Did I just miss a great opportunity?The line you used can work just fine. I've had success with it. But I do agree with others that it prob wasn't the right line for this situation. You have to calibrate to your environment and her particular blueprint. I also get the feeling that you let the line sit too long rather than filling her silence/"confusion" with more words. Nah. You're the dude, lead. The fact that you're saying you asked a question ("she probably didn't hear the last part of my question") shows you don't really even … | /r/seduction | 06/05/24 04:00 PM |
| 3 | Woman I had ONS with - hot and cold behaviour (NSFW)Yes. As in, she's going to you for validation and attention that you yourself are feeding with your compliant replies. One problem men have on here is that they are way too nice and have no backbone or boundaries. Also, you talk about "polite," without admitting that it's deeply impolite to continue to waste someone's time and not be straightforward. And in fact, her platitudes ("good morning") and attention-seeking make it even more impolite. And I do not give energy to people who demonstrate t… | /r/seduction | 04/05/24 09:55 PM |
| 7 | Woman I had ONS with - hot and cold behaviour (NSFW)The first part of this sounds like buyer's remorse. As you say, you two are grown and had messy car/public sex in your thirties. That's no knock. It's a story. But sometimes it's hard to segue out of that story to a more palatable kind of story where you guys are seeing each other again (never mind on a regular basis). What is she supposed to tell her friends? Or herself? And anyway, for all we know, she just wanted a crazy story. But now, it sounds like you're moving in to being just validation… | /r/seduction | 04/05/24 09:32 PM |
| 3 | How to deal with dryness from women?You're taking value. Instead, you need to learn to start giving value. Most guys move like you and then wonder why they get nothing back (unless for whatever reason the woman likes their look). Most men pass the buck to women and hope the woman brings the conversational gold. This is why they ask boring small talk questions and then get discouraged when she predictably doesn't give them much. Men who do well, however, bring the conversational gold THEMSELVES and know that interested women will r… | /r/seduction | 04/05/24 02:34 AM |
| 21 | Help! How to move the frame to where she wants to impress me?I said I prefer Google Maps to Apple Maps and not to judge me. She basically replied with "I hate Apple Maps haha that's a brownie point for you." I think you're making way too big of a deal of this. But by the same token, you opened up this can of worms by making her your authority: "I said... not to judge me." And if this becomes a repeat pattern, that IS a problem. As for a reply, it's as simple as saying something self-amusing like "BOOM" | /r/seduction | 02/05/24 01:04 AM |
| 3 | Advice needed: How do I move forward with a girl after the first few dates when you want something more without appearing needy?That's because you're focusing on the wrong things. As others have said, all that is required is continuing to deepen the physical and emotional sides of the relationship. Have you slept with her? Have you continued to sleep with her? Is she spending the night (if you want to go the route of an LTR). This is all that is required. What it sounds like you're saying is that you want to lock her down by having a stilted and overinvested conversation about "what you are" and "where this is going." Bu… | /r/seduction | 01/05/24 07:22 PM |
| 8 | Kissed a girl and now cricketsEh. Just a manifestation of too much talk and not enough making moves. With another guy, she might not even bring up these things because of how much fun she's having in the moment. The heart comes later. This was about the body. And until you internalize this rather than taking women so literally and seriously, these things will continue to happen. Anyway, you'll learn. Or maybe not. | /r/seduction | 30/04/24 08:19 PM |
| 6 | Kissed a girl and now cricketsOf course not. As I said, unfortunately, it's likely over. Because all of those words don't mean nearly as much as simply being a guy who makes calibrated moves in the moment. When you're unsure, she's unsure. When you're tepid, she's tepid. When you make a big deal out of physicality, she makes a big deal out of physicality. On the flip side, when you're comfortable, interested women are also comfortable. And while men always try to overcompensate and send a bunch of words after the fact, it's … | /r/seduction | 30/04/24 06:42 PM |
| 115 | Kissed a girl and now cricketsYou were more prude than the girl. It's over. You likely could've hooked up with her that first night in the car or better yet invited her over THAT NIGHT. Then you were given a second chance and same story. You're another guy stuck in a romantic default. You're also way too literal. When a woman says "guys just wanted sex on the 1st date etc" it doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't want to have sex with you. In fact, it often reveals that sex is very much on her mind. She just wants it to be a … | /r/seduction | 30/04/24 03:45 PM |
| 3 | Quick Date Scheduling Help NeededShe's not fully sold yet. Hence her request for the IG and kicking the can down the road a bit, which isn't to say the date won't happen. Could be a value issue. Could be a comfort one. Sometimes when a woman says kicks the can down the road I call it out playfully. I do this, because once I started getting this part of my life handled and was juggling a bunch of dates, women themselves started saying this to me. Also, while many men have been sold a lie that being "non needy" is the only thing … | /r/seduction | 30/04/24 04:04 AM |
| 30 | First time texting on tinder need adviceMissed a ripe opportunity for misinterpretation brother. Need to stop assuming the negative and start assuming the positive. Meaning is created not just by what she says but how you respond to it: Her:I'm actually deleting it Me: Haha you move quick... don't you think we should grab drinks before you go all in ; ) Etc. But the key is, in my interactions, I'm giving value rather than beating around the bush and having platonic small talk. You instead are taking value, not being a leader, and hopi… | /r/seduction | 23/04/24 07:36 PM |
| 5 | Rank these 3 men as dating prospects and explain why.As always, watch what they do, not what they say. Also, while guy#3, which you openly admit was/is you, likely openly discloses all of his foibles on first or second dates because of lack of social calibration/need for validation/insecurity etc, outgoing guys who are used to women like guy#1 aren't doing that. They're just being fun, keeping things light, and bringing her into his world. And by the time his alleged downsides come to roost, if he even shares them, they're already having sex and s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/04/24 01:17 PM |
| 2 | I let myself be used by a woman like a fool. Dont repeat the same mistakes like I did and how to improve your feeling of self worth.No it's not just having a "conversation." It's an issuing an ultimatum, negotiating desire, looking for her validation and hoping good outcome...With a woman who you allegedly understand has no genuine desire for you and is just using you. But these things both cannot be true: "we both clearly like each other" on the one hand, and she's just using you on the other. So really, you don't actually get it, nor are you sending that message because you "hate ghosting." | /r/seduction | 19/04/24 06:32 PM |
| 1 | I let myself be used by a woman like a fool. Dont repeat the same mistakes like I did and how to improve your feeling of self worth.Its sad that it took me a little while to figure out that im just the emotional/intellectual fluffer basically performing boyfriend functions in her life This is correct. But then somehow by the end of the post, you're back where you started. It's pretty incredible. Because if you think 2 is the answer, you still haven't learned anything from this situation at all. | /r/seduction | 19/04/24 06:19 PM |
| 3 | She told me she wants to f**k but doesn't make time for it?Talking about having family over is silly in this context and doesn't matter. Either present a solution or don't bring it up at all. But it's on you to bring a sexy vibe. You're also incongruent. On the one hand, you seem to want to have sex with her. On the other hand, you "feel bad for expecting sex" and are "joking" about her coming over. And men who talk out of both sides of their mouth attract women who give "mixed signals." At this point, it's very possible your role is a dude who validate… | /r/seduction | 18/04/24 03:58 AM |
| 1 | Did she have buyers remorse?As always, bar interactions are for closing THAT NIGHT. Numbers in that context are unreliable and your first thought should be making moves that night. It's a weird narrative otherwise. Basically, she met you while tripping, sobered up, and just wanted to move on from that night and everything and everyone associated with it. Men as a general rule do not think this way. But you need to start putting yourself into women's shoes and think about narrative. It matters a lot to them. Is this a story… | /r/seduction | 17/04/24 10:04 PM |
| 9 | Turned down for sex after making out, salvageable or move on?8-10 hours each is a long time. Once I started getting this part of my life handled, I can't recall the last time I spent a good 8-10 hours with a woman once and it didn't end in sex. And you did three of these, with long meet ups each time, before things finally escalated back at your place. It also sounds like you were making out with her way too long ("About 20 minutes into making out "), without escalating it to anything else. Given the context, openly talking about sex in public and things … | /r/seduction | 17/04/24 09:36 PM |
| 5 | 35M Struggling to find intimacyIndeed. But why is your first thought that it's "unfair to include them in my venture to self-improvement?" Why are you even thinking about that at all? It strikes me as excuse-making and a rationalization not to put yourself out there and take massive action, which is what is required when you're in a situation like yours in your mid-30s. It is not the time for mental masturbation and hypotheticals. You haven't gotten to the point where whatever you're allegedly afraid will happen, has happened… | /r/seduction | 12/04/24 01:06 PM |
| 2 | 35M Struggling to find intimacyIsn't that unfair to them to include them in my venture to self improvement?) Why? And why can't you talk about your self-improvement journey in a few words and just make it about YOU and not someone else, in a hypothetical at that? | /r/seduction | 12/04/24 11:52 AM |
| 2 | Possible fumbleThe problem is you're another nice guy who only relies on apologia to deal with women. But for men who carry themselves this way, there will always be one more thing and you will never satisfy her. First off saying "Saw her after work and she was acting strange, so I asked what's up." is passive, if not passive aggressive. What you are missing here is simple calibration and assertiveness. A guy who is used to being treated well by women and doesn't default to being the nice guy who never does an… | /r/seduction | 11/04/24 08:21 PM |
| 9 | How to respond to age difference"lowkey a freshman" implying that she thought the age gap was too much. I mean, short of any other actual information, I'll say that's your assumption and you're being way too negative and put in your head here. Meaning is created not just by what she says but how you respond to it. Often, she's just throwing something out there and her actual feelings will be clarified by the cool or uncool way you respond to it. Your way isn't what I would call "qualifying her." More so, you disqualified yours… | /r/seduction | 09/04/24 12:04 AM |
| 4 | Ghosted her for a day then she does this. How do I respond?Ah the whole "deep introspection" of 24 hours lol. You're incongruent and likely only agreed to that because you saw hastily agreeing to her terms as the only pathway to maintain her approval and as more important than doing what feels right to YOU. This will never be the way to move as a man and women will neither respect nor trust it to boot. More than that, it sounds like this is a woman you barely even know. And talking about all of this relationshipy stuff and jumping through hoops before y… | /r/seduction | 07/04/24 04:02 PM |
| 4 | I pulled my neighbor now she ghosted me.Be careful about openly talking about sex before actually having sex. In addition, if you're openly talking about sex at the end of a date, experience has taught me that closing that same night is critical. Otherwise she might get buyer's remorse or feel like it absolutely must happen the next time. This means having a better sense of her logistics before and definitely DURING the date ("do you have an early bedtime?", "what are you doing after this?" "do you have roommates?" etc). This is infor… | /r/seduction | 01/04/24 01:56 AM |
| 3 | Field Report #2 (It was all going so well)Heh. Get "no way" out of your vocabulary. You need a place to close. Could be a hotel. Could be a car. And so on but you need to get this handled for the future. Numbers in nightgame are unreliable, especially at your level. It's a high energy environment. She wakes up, her head clears and all the random dudes of the night are forgotten. And this has more to do with why this number didn't pan out, rather than your throwaway drug dealer comment. That said, if you can't close on a particular night… | /r/seduction | 31/03/24 06:34 PM |
| 3 | Field Report #2 (It was all going so well)Odd that you're quoting all these MM techniques, but did nothing as far as seeding the pull and, wait for it, actually trying to pull her back to your place or hers. At the very least you should've pulled her to Mel's Diner below Project Hollywood, but you didn't even do that. | /r/seduction | 31/03/24 02:09 PM |
| 2 | I (35 M) need some advice with reaching out to help recover from something I said to a girl (36 F) I matched withI didn't think this was a good idea because this would be the first time meeting and I would rather get to know her first before we go to something like a concert where we can't really talk to see what each other is all about. Then you shouldn't have mentioned the concert in the first place. Anyway, as for the rest of it, apologia is not nearly as effective as guys have been told it is. She barely knows you and yet you're getting all serious with her. Changing her mood will always win the day ov… | /r/seduction | 26/03/24 10:13 PM |
| 3 | We match, give me their ig, then their numbers, but when setting a date they just go away…Enough so that she's investing, asking me questions and sharing substantive things about herself. Then and only then am I asking them out, which when I was active on the apps still ended up being within 0-3 days, max 7 days for slower repliers. But investment is what matters. Meanwhile for you it sounds like there's an asymmetry there. You sell her quickly, but maybe without all the elements in place. And in my experience, this always leads to more flakiness because of buyer's remorse to where y… | /r/seduction | 26/03/24 04:03 AM |
| 10 | We match, give me their ig, then their numbers, but when setting a date they just go away…Something seems to be going wrong in the transition. When I ask for #s off a dating app, it's clear I'm doing it to arrange the logistics for the date. In fact, I often soft close on the app ("we should grab drinks this wk") and then ask for her # so we can iron out the details of that. Instead, it sounds like you're having a bunch of errant chat ("We can keep talking during a few days") once you get to this stage instead of getting to the point. | /r/seduction | 25/03/24 11:05 PM |
| 56 | My crush is getting distant from me, what should I do?I have been wanting to ask her out but she has been cheated two times already in her past relationships so I was being careful and all also. This is an excuse to justify your passivity and not fully putting yourself out there. Self-deception won't help you grow as a dude. Since January she has been getting distant, all of a sudden. She stood me up also for a plan once. Of course. She got tired of waiting for you to make an actual real move. This went on for weeks and months. Why do guys always a… | /r/seduction | 24/03/24 09:58 PM |
| 2 | Need advice"I find you cute." "I also find you cute." Someone has to be the dude in the interaction, man. You said words, eventually, but you didn't make moves and progress the interaction forward. That's your job. So next time, don't run away. ASK HER OUT. | /r/seduction | 24/03/24 02:45 PM |
| 8 | Finished second date and not sure if its going well. Did I fuck up?Again, you can do all of these things, some of which double down on the premature boyfriend vibe that you claim you understood wasn't the move, but the thing that matters more than anything else here is that you haven't made a move. And that you need to. For the follow up, should I go with the casual, "Hey. I had fun yesterday. The art, you, everything was beautiful! Hope you didn't mind me geeking out too much lol. Here's a memory from yesterday (The pictures we took). Can't wait to have more f… | /r/seduction | 10/03/24 05:57 AM |
| 2 | I should be ready there and then?Huh? All she said was that she was ready for round 2. It's YOU who chose to think that meant you needed to be immediately ready to go all the way again, rather than simply smiling, moving closer to her, enjoying her body, doing some foreplay and then moving forward from there. This whole arc is what round 2 is and what sex is. It's not just the penetrative part and if you actually understood this, you wouldn't be getting so reactive by a totally benign and positive comment. Yes, some might see h… | /r/seduction | 10/03/24 05:20 AM |
| 14 | Finished second date and not sure if its going well. Did I fuck up?I notice a trend of men doing boyfriendy things with women they barely know. I save holding hands for later. Usually she's the one initiating that too after a few weeks of dating and when we've actively been having sex. It'll be something she does when we're out in public and a sign that she sees me as a longer term prospect. Before that, I'm just focused on being fun and playful, touching her here and there and then going for a kiss at minimum on a first date. The kiss doesn't need to happen at… | /r/seduction | 10/03/24 04:07 AM |
| 3 | Finally some Progress, advice soughtGirl #1 If things weren't that serious, and you claim to have agreed with all of that, why do a "fun little day trip?" Just invite her over again. Anyway, just hit her up when you're back and invite her out again, or better yet in. She definitely has an auto-rejection/insecurity thing going on. But that's an indication of interest and investment, not the absence of those things. Sometimes when women unsend things, I still reply to it normally calling out that I've seen it. Other times, you might… | /r/seduction | 08/03/24 09:21 PM |
| 3 | Is this a red flag?Sometimes she's not a big texter and just wants to meet, man. Or she just wants something casual, in which case banter and surface will be prioritized over your logical resume and depth. I notice, however, a trend where men prematurely diagnose women ("I dated a covert narcissist before") before actually even knowing them. It's like you're afraid of a bad outcome and don't trust yourself to be able to navigate things as they come up on a first date or beyond. Instead, men need to trust themselve… | /r/seduction | 03/03/24 02:18 AM |
| 2 | Confused: is this a shit test?Don't do "let me knows." They don't work like men think they do and in the early days I put the burden of being proactive on ME not her. So leave space, circle back in a few days and plan out a date. You could've killed it with your vibe, she's already moving from drinks to coffee. But let's see. Bigger picture, between this post and your other about kids, you need to work on your text game and the way you think about yourself and women. You're way too serious and rigid. | /r/seduction | 02/03/24 01:30 PM |
| 2 | Confused: is this a shit test?No frame and you take her and yourself way too seriously. Yes, I know in the comments you say you "don't let anyone cross your boundaries" but it's not that deep. Besides, the best way to demonstrate you have strong boundaries is through humor in this instance. Stop appealing to "almighty reason" and start playing to emotions. This is what wins the day a lot of the time and more men need to be focused on cultivating this vibe in their interactions, not being so serious and framing her as your ju… | /r/seduction | 02/03/24 01:19 PM |
| 6 | "Describe yourself in 3 words" - I've been asked that - is this a shit test or what?Eh, sometimes women are just grasping at straws. I agree that it's a shit test. But it's coming from a place of not knowing quite what to say, and defaulting to a script. The general replies here, talking about being fun, playful, and non self-qualifying have it right. | /r/seduction | 28/02/24 03:05 PM |
| 7 | So how badly have I fumbled this situation? Or what is going on?Kind of flirty but also seems weird. Over the months, she started engaging me when she saw me. We got to know each others names and would say hi in passing. She's noticed me notice her. So I sent her a friend request when she came up on FB. She didn't accept it, but about a week later I passed her and told her she came up on my FB and if a weird name sends her a request, it's me (my FB name isn't my real name). She says ok and literally 5 mins later she has accepted. A better version of this wou… | /r/seduction | 25/02/24 05:44 PM |
| 4 | I will never ever understand the logic behind thisWhy do you say I'm the one who's not enjoying the moment when she's the one talking about the future? Meaning is created not just by what she says, but how you respond to it. Yes, to some extent, women will field some future-focused energy in the early stages of dating. This is a feature not a bug. Get used to it. It even happens when she just wants to hookup with you (because of the higher reproductive cost for women). The question is, how do you respond to it? Guy one shrugs, acts in a normal … | /r/seduction | 25/02/24 03:24 AM |
| 4 | I will never ever understand the logic behind thisShocking that you ask at the end why she can't keep enjoying the moment, when you're the one who fostered this serious and non-chill vibe. First off, when a woman is openly complimenting my voice and accent, I'm meeting her irl as soon as I can, not waiting a whole week. Gotta strike when the iron is hot. If I was free, even a meetup that same night could be on the table. More to the point, this entire conversation was ridiculous and could have been pivoted away from literally from the start. Yo… | /r/seduction | 25/02/24 03:08 AM |
| 5 | Should I tell her?Classic case of how men are usually way more overinvested (and way more romantic) than women in the early stages of dating. No need to "confess" anything. Just ask her out on a date. If you do want to reference it, simply say something like "you a look a little familiar." But the more important thing is to plan a date and finally meet this woman you've been thinking way too much about. Bigger picture, you need to work on your inner game and your need for women to validate you ("the reason she ha… | /r/seduction | 21/02/24 03:01 PM |
| 3 | Did I miss an opportunity?When I touched the topic of relationships and tried to sexualise it. She didnt respond rather set a boundary and shared that shes not into casual flings. And after that we continued for about 45 min and then she invited me back to her apartment. We sat there had a good laughs and then I asked her about if she does body building. And she responded that I have a good body. I can show it to you. I was confused here and didnt try to reciprocate it as she had made it clear earlier. You missed out on … | /r/seduction | 13/02/24 03:19 AM |
| 2 | Jealous LTR GFPretty much what others have said. You're still far too concerned about her emotions and making yourself responsible for them. There will always be drama with women to some extent. If you don't want that, don't deal with them. But there is far more drama for men who get whisked away by her emotions than for those who stay solid. I just spent the whole past wknd with the boys. I got a few tests here and there but that's about it. Why? Because from the very beginning of the relationship, I set the… | /r/askMRP | 22/01/24 05:37 PM |
| 3 | Jealous LTR GFWhat if she always minds to some extent, sometimes complains, and sometimes texts/calls? Will you still do what you need to do? Also, you should be more concerned if she doesn't mind at all that you go out. Because that signals a loss of attraction and investment. | /r/askMRP | 22/01/24 04:31 PM |
| 3 | Is it okay to verbally ask a girl if she is interested in you, while on a date?Just by the way you write, I can tell you the primary problem here is with the way you THINK and then act. Just even asking such a question shows that you don't really understand female attraction, which isn't as simple as a light switch on/off. It's more dynamic than that. And with a question like that, you're asking everything, giving nothing, and putting her on the spot. Even if she does have some degree of interest in you, as much as one can have after a date or two, it's much easier of her … | /r/seduction | 10/01/24 03:59 AM |
| 6 | What i learnedThe default is "be yourself" platitudes. That will always be the default. Because that's what most people are most comfortable with. And men will ALWAYS have a burden of performance. The point is to see that burden as an opportunity. | /r/seduction | 27/12/23 01:41 AM |
| 1 | What Does Genuine Desire Look Like?Well, in my case it first started with a bad set up: were long distance. Part of it was what she initially set up and I agreed to (daily Facetime calls). But then it was getting needy about it when she couldn't always do them or getting butthurt/reactive when I myself didn't have time on a certain day and was afraid of her emotions or upsetting her. That's a big lesson that this space really gets totally right. About being afraid of her emotions. That really unravels a lot of these situations. H… | /r/askMRP | 08/11/23 10:42 PM |
| 3 | What Does Genuine Desire Look Like?One of the more stark examples is when an old plate of mine had her bus break down and got a $200 Uber to make it in time to meet my friends for the first time at a party. I had a lot of things happen starting in my late 20s once I got things handled that totally debunked my notion about money and women. However, it's not lost on me that soon after, I began to lose frame, and within 2 months her behavior started to flip and things soon ended. | /r/askMRP | 08/11/23 02:11 AM |
| 5 | An AF/BB example. How to avoid?Well a key thing here is his emotional dishonesty (to a random internet tribunal, to himself) and the consistent privileging other peoples' emotions, thoughts, and feelings above his own. His first thought is NEVER himself. It must always be someone else, especially a woman he "loves." Indeed, that's what he's been told love is. And heaven forbid someone (even an internet random) see that he's upset, dissatisfied, disappointed, or even worse angry. The most profound example of this is here: "One… | /r/askMRP | 09/08/23 11:35 PM |
| 3 | Do people actually pull girls at clubs?Sounds like you're the bright shiny object in the club. But rather than you approaching and leading the interaction, you're passively taking what comes to you, and then not knowing how to build on it and take the reins. Also 3 girls is nothing. Talk to more, primarily women YOU are selecting and approaching. | /r/seduction | 27/07/23 02:10 PM |
| 15 | Gf(23f) called me(25m) lame for not wanting to drink for one night at a bar. This angered me but she thinks this is completely fine to be rude. Am I overreactingSounds like you're in an LDR, which is relationships on hard mode, especially if you don't have the requisite experience and inner game to handle the ebbs and flows of it. So that's my warning to you. Also, I find it a bit odd that after several weeks of not seeing each other, the first thing you did was meet in a group with her friend. Speaking as someone who is also in an LDR some of the time, this has never happened. I pick her up and the at least the first night is spent 1 on 1. But to each … | /r/askMRP | 24/07/23 02:40 PM |
| 10 | Women will follow you till the end of the earth if you have good dick game.Sounds like you don't even like her and have a higher SMV. That's all this is about. | /r/seduction | 04/07/23 03:54 PM |
| 8 | Women love one night stands as much as men doYou mean the same "hookup culture" that consists primarily of women and a handful of select guys? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/23 07:59 PM |
| 2 | Pleasing a man sexually as a woman is so much easier than pleasing a woman sexually as a manWomen are often reactive in their sexuality or "innies" as R. Stone calls them. That said, whenever a woman found me truly hot, none of this was an issue. She's wet just thinking about me 2,400 miles away. Just like conventional dating advice itself, it all focuses on comfort, catered to a specific type of guy mired in a specific and less than ideal dynamic. "She comes first" is the bedroom equivalent of "happy wife, happy life." But what conventional wisdom will never talk about is how a good p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/23 02:44 PM |
| 10 | A lot of dating advice given by women here only works for womenMost women would love to have relationships True. In the medium and long term at least. we have every incentive to help you. False. You don't even have every incentive to help fellow women lol. In any case, sure women want to be "caught." That's a given. But not by any hunter. That's the point. But all this bluster is just your way of throwing off the scent. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/04/23 03:03 AM |
| 5 | Do You Think This Woman Was In The Wrong?"In the wrong" about what exactly? Women will do what women will do. More interesting, is what exactly inspired this post to begin with? Because I'm not buying that she would take to Reddit to catastrophize about someone who would never dare to flake on her and who already agreed to a second date. Unless there's something I'm missing that's now been edited. I suggest the real story has something to do with the OTHER guy. Ya know, the guy whose name she couldn't help but mention on her date with … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/04/23 02:40 AM |
| 6 | Here are my dating hot takes. What are yours?The average woman certainly has more power in the early stages of courtship than the average guy. But if more guys got to the other side of the dance, the side after a few months (2-6 months) where women become heavily invested and convinced that you're That Guy, then a lot of the things that men think are unique to their gender (neediness, anxiety, overinvestment, initiating), they would discover are not. And as a corollary to this, every guy needs to try to experience this at least once before… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/23 08:22 PM |
| 1 | How are men supposed to even get a relationship nowadays?Good stuff. The truth is, women need many types of men in their life. And certain advice is targeted towards cultivating certain men -- that is to say men who are preoccupied with comfort above all else. This is why this advice continues to be promulgated. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/03/23 08:48 PM |
| -3 | Casual sex is a pipe dream for most men. Here’s the real reason WHY.Now what I think men don’t realize is that at any given time very few women are interested or willing to engage in casual sex. Disagree. In fact, it's men who believe what you do who likely miss out on opportunities that women are throwing their way. I've seen dozens of posts of men "wondering what happened" after a woman moved on after giving obvious signals that she was down to sleep with him very early on in the dating process. I posted about all this on my old account https://www.reddit.com/… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/02/23 02:59 AM |
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