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guava_jam Archive

View 0 posts and 28 comments by guava_jam on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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10

When I first started dating my husband, his self confidence was in hell, he wasn’t physically the healthiest, he was a people pleasing pushover, and he didn’t really keep in touch with his friends. I saw him for the angel he was and helped him on his journey of figuring out how to love himself and his life. I stood up for him against his family and even against himself. I encouraged him to pursue his hobbies and hang out with his friends more (with or without me). I spend much of my time thinkin…
/r/ExRedPill26/01/26 08:49 PM
27

You’re allowed to feel however you feel, and I am sorry that the truth is not pain free. You’re not a piece of shit but maybe, just maybe, if you can empathize with women you will be better able to navigate the dating world. I married my husband because he understands and never blamed women for wanting to be safe. In fact he respects me for protecting myself even from him in the beginning. Love isn’t sunshine and rainbows 🌈
/r/ExRedPill03/10/25 09:41 PM
36

I understand, and you are a reasonable person. I have never ghosted anyone and the times that I did reject men nicely, some of them were very hostile. Women have been killed for rejecting men. Do you understand what that means? Dead. For saying no. They are gone. Never to be seen again. Saying yes can also mean a death sentence. So I understand where you are coming from but a nice rejection for you is a million times better than a death sentence for a woman.
/r/ExRedPill03/10/25 09:27 PM
3

Oh man, I am sorry. I have experience with university therapists and unfortunately my experiences weren’t good either. It sounds like you really need to find a trauma therapist, but as a student your resources are very limited. If possible I would ask your counseling center if they can refer you to an affordable outside trauma therapist. Psychology today is also a good way to find therapists and maybe you can find one who can help you with payments or point you to someone who can.
/r/ExRedPill23/09/25 04:54 AM
3

Have you seen specifically a trauma therapist? My husband saw many therapists who never quite got down to the heart of his issues. It wasn’t until finding his current trauma therapist that he was able to finally find the roots of his trauma and process it.
/r/ExRedPill23/09/25 04:36 AM
5

I get what you mean, no one is virtuous and people often have reasons for bad behavior. When I was going through it, I was a bad person. I wasn’t nice, I lashed out, I hurt people. I even hurt my husband in the beginning, but his crazy ass was too in love with me to leave. I have since stopped being a terrible sucky person, mostly because his love healed me. Just because people have their reasons to suck doesn’t mean they don’t suck. No one is virtuous, but again expecting people you don’t know …
/r/ExRedPill07/09/25 05:57 PM
7

I’m sorry that those women were unkind and that the women with 3 kids laughed at you. It’s not fair and you don’t deserve to be disrespected like that when you’ve done nothing wrong. It does sound like you have unrealistic expectations. Women are just people, and a lot of people suck. That’s just the truth- men, women, NB, gay, straight, etc.- there are a lot of bad people in every group. As a woman, almost every man I dated either cheated on me, abused me, or just treated me like dirt. My husba…
/r/ExRedPill07/09/25 05:13 PM
2

It’s crazy how he thinks having a lot of women means anything. He’s so angry and lonely and will only ever blame women for his misery.
/r/ExRedPill05/09/25 11:41 AM
4

No, I agree with you that men who get a lot of women likely don’t think highly of them. I know because I dated a number of them. I know that many men are not honest, when did I say I think they were? I didn’t. Sure men won’t say outright what they really think, but it becomes clear by the way they treat and generally speak to women what they actually believe. Again, I know because I’ve gotten in their heads and I dumped them because they treated me like dirt. It seems like the women you surround…
/r/ExRedPill05/09/25 10:39 AM
1

Oh honey, I stopped at your first sentence. I don’t care what men think about me. My husband thinks I am amazing, treats me like I am a goddess, and lets me do what I want. I hope you find your peace one day.
/r/ExRedPill05/09/25 09:36 AM
9

People keep on talking about how lonely young men are but why would any woman want to talk to a guy who thinks women are just mindless lemmings
/r/ExRedPill05/09/25 03:52 AM
41

Many woman just want to be safe, loved, and cared for. Being in a relationship with someone puts you in a very vulnerable position. So many women have been emotionally, physically, and mentally abused by their partners. Or they have seen friends and family abused and don’t want to go through that. Being alone is safer than being in a relationship with a bad person regardless of gender. Look at domestic violence rates against women. Women are more likely to be killed by their boyfriend, husband, …
/r/ExRedPill01/02/25 03:09 PM
6

In my experience dating some horrible men, men and honestly people in general are good at hiding who they are. Many people are skilled at saying what women want to hear and doing things that seem genuine but are just manipulative. I was one of those naive young girls who fell in love with misogynistic assholes, one after another after another. My husband doesn’t read feminist literature but he respects women as much as he does men. He’s also very soft and sweet and kind. I have heard the dating …
/r/ExRedPill31/03/24 11:18 PM
5

I second therapy. You can practice opening up to your therapist and they can give you homework that can ease you into opening up to other people.
/r/ExRedPill12/11/23 12:44 PM
2

It’s really up to you and your personality. If you’re the type who feels feelings deeply, it’s going to be some time. The best thing you can do is to develop your emotional regulation skills. When it comes to emotions, you have to let yourself feel them. If you fight them, if you spend time pushing your feelings away and wishing they would just go away, they will remain for much longer. You need to name your pain. Embarrassment? Anger? Shame? Resentment? What else? Tell yourself, “I feel {insert…
/r/ExRedPill12/11/23 02:58 AM
3

I’m proud of you for admitting what you did and expressing remorse. This will haunt you forever, but it should- feeling this way will prevent you from ever being like that again. It serves as a reminder for who you cannot become. In time it will hurt less, but it will take a long time. Take everything you learned and commit to being a better person and when you feel down in yourself, remind yourself that you are better now and keep moving forwards. Go out in the world and treat other people like…
/r/ExRedPill11/11/23 06:36 PM
1

Since you know what the root cause of your anger is, every time you start to get into your head about how angry you are at women having promiscuous periods, immediately remind yourself that you’re just envious and repeat it and repeat it until you calm down.
/r/ExRedPill23/10/23 05:18 PM
11

My husband’s best friend literally broke up with his fiancé yesterday- their wedding was supposed to be this May 13th. They both wanted a family and shared a lot of the same values. Both very successful in their careers, both millionaires or close to it, good families. But something wasn’t right, and they both didn’t know what being in a relationship was really about. I suggest you go with your gut feelings and rather than just look for a man who will let you stay home with the kids, you look fo…
/r/ExRedPill31/03/23 03:37 AM
3

You shouldn’t trust anyone until they earn your trust. No one should trust you until you earn their trust. Give the men a chance to show you who they are, for better or for worse, and try not to assume every man is bad. Good men exist and they are out there, I promise. Most guys are not the one for you, so you’re going to have to be smart about weeding out the bad ones. You have to be willing to leave anyone who isn’t right for you. The moment you notice a guy only likes you for your looks, you …
/r/ExRedPill25/03/23 05:09 AM
2

I think all you can really do is give him positive examples. Talk to him not about feminism but about his beliefs and what it all means to him. Spend time with him and be supportive of him even if you don’t agree with him. Don’t get angry when he says things that seem misogynistic and wrong, instead ask him to explain it to you and gently and without judgement question his explanations. Do other things with him to spend time with him like take him out to eat, go to the movies, etc. If he likes t…
/r/ExRedPill18/03/23 05:34 PM
37

You are in the perfect place to start living a better life. I know because I was in the same spot you are 8 years ago, though not so far into redpill. I let the men I liked use me and it destroyed me. My self esteem was in the shitter and I was not OK. What saved me is thinking this way. Deciding not to let anyone trample over me ever again. Deciding to take care of myself first and foremost. Deciding to be honest with myself and the men I’m with. Deciding to let go of any relationship that isn’…
/r/ExRedPill08/03/23 06:43 PM
2

I completely understand, I want you to know. Your ex sounds terrible- you trusted her and were honest with her and she just made you feel bad about yourself. How do I understand? Because I’ve been there. First two boyfriends in college cheated on me, one with my best friend. Third boyfriend was a narcissistic, manipulative chameleon who compared me to many other women including my own sister and slowly and devastatingly destroyed my self esteem. Fourth boyfriend was a pathological liar. Fifth bo…
/r/ExRedPill07/07/20 04:46 PM
18

I actually agree with you that many women don’t understand the deep complexities of a man. Part of the reason is because men generally don’t share the deepest parts of themselves very often, even to their closest friends. How could we know or even start to understand? Look, dating is hard. There are going to be more misses than hits. It sounds like perhaps the girls you’re going for are young and immature. I will tell you as a woman that I had to date a lot of bad guys to realize that my sweet, …
/r/ExRedPill05/07/20 03:13 AM
8

I read your other post from two days ago and I feel for you, dude. It seems like your worldview is heavily shaped by your external environment and you make up rules in your head to try to make sense of it all. I’m glad that you know your views are twisted and that they were shaped by people who were wrong. What I’m going to guess is that those ideas are so attached to strong feelings that even if you try to tell yourself they’re wrong, your gut feeling is to still believe in them. Neural pathway…
/r/ExRedPill04/05/20 12:20 PM
1

You assume that young men are smart. I was an idiot when I was a teenager/young woman. Most young people are dumb. TRP offers enough truth to suck in the naive and gullible. You’re right it’s outrageous. But young and angry boys (and men) who have low self esteem and no other good role models are going to gravitate towards something that promises all the answers despite how crazy it is. It may might not make sense to you but it’s just how their minds work. If you’re going to mentor these boys yo…
/r/ExRedPill15/03/20 03:16 PM
3

I absolutely love your question, “is there anything to be gained from trying to convince a random woman somewhere to “love” me?” The answer is no. There is nothing to be gained from that! What you may need is to find a woman who YOU love. If she loves you and you don’t feel the same it’ll be your usual experience, possibly even worse. I’m super introverted and my boyfriend is even more introverted. We’ve been together for 4 years- 4 years of learning that we both need a lot of space and quiet. H…
/r/ExRedPill30/12/19 09:00 PM
1

I’m 28 also and chose to focus on my career. Your biological clock is ticking so you’re not only fighting societal pressures but biological pressures. Really the best thing you can do is meditate and relax, especially when you start to feel the baby fever coming. The more you think about it the stronger the fever will get.
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/19 06:14 PM
1

congrats!! This is an exciting time. While it may be tempting to throw yourself into this relationship, make sure you are directing as much love towards yourself as you do to him. Keep doing the things you love, continue to find things and activities you love and enjoy. How to make him happy- show him how happy he makes you. I used to think I had to do specific things but I was wrong. He needs to know that his efforts to show his love are seen and appreciated. If he does something nice, tell him…
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/19 06:03 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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