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hairy_russian Archive

View 5 posts and 70 comments by hairy_russian on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

In New York alimony is temporary the shorter the marriage the less you pay.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/24 12:32 AM
7

I see a lot of advantages to a gay marriage, I’m 100% probably rose glasses if this. With a guy your size you could cut your clothes spending to half at least. If you aren’t taking care of each other’s morning wood; you are doing gay wrong. https://youtu.be/f8AMqWGRjcE?si=vXUZS5jiIdbampoY
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 08:53 PM
2

My health insurance from work is so terrible I would marry a dude!
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 08:46 PM
6

BRO !!! WTF!!! You are miserable being married and you think you will be happy being divorced? But afraid of being lonely? Did you get married because you thought being married would make you happy? You know you can be single and unhappy. Go get therapy, figure out what you want. If you need friends go make some. (Meetups, hobies, gym, etc) You being unhappy is a you problem. If you are positive marriage is a major cause go ahead and get divorced. You have no kids that you mentioned, you are onl…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 10:27 PM
3

Montreal is a great roadtrip. Everything is in French and is really like a different world. Major city and lots to do. if you are close to Stewart airport check out play airlines the fly to Europe pretty cheap out of Stewart. The swings of not driving to nyc or Newark and paying parking etc make it really worth while. Check out kayak they have an explore option where you can get a list of flights based on cost.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 04:39 AM
5

Dated a woman who had four kids… they ignored my daughter and I broke up with her. Not the only reason but it was a deal breaker for me.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 04:31 AM
6

If you can get 50/50 split without alimony take it and run. You will build back the lost ten percent. The alimony will suck the life out of you.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 02:19 PM
1

Are you in a suburban are?
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 05:13 AM
17

Was this the only thing she didn’t half ass?
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 04:07 AM
1

Rule number one don’t take legal advice from your ex. You need to have a consultation with an attorney … they will take your case because they can have your ex pay the legal fees. Child support is a formula she does not get to decide what she pays. Apply for social programs. Tell everyone that she abandoned you and the children financially. Document everything, and sell shit if you have to in order to support yourself and your kids. Are they old enough to go to school yet?
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 08:33 PM
1

DONT TAKE THE DEAL!!! Hey I just read your post history it sounds terrible. I hope you have a lawyer now if not here is my fear for you and a possible worst case scenario. You give her the house, she moves in. Where are you staying? Can you afford a place? Do you have income? You were a stay at home dad for how many years? Do you have any job skills? Do you need to go back to school? MEANWHILE, she and her lawyer will calculate the child support and alimony you would be entitled to and she will …
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 06:25 PM
1

Have you figured out custody? If not use this as part of negotiations. She is probably seeking to keep the house as she can work to get your name off of the mortgage . Hard but it’s not impossible; I was able to do it as part of an assumption. It’s a PIA but doable. If you make her sell you will take maybe take home 25k instead of the 22k. But is it really worth the headache especially if she might sabotage the home to sell for less in order to spite you. My advice is use this as a bargaining ch…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 06:10 PM
1

Are there kids? She could argue that she had the home and needs more custody as. This would be less disruptive to the kids. If that’s not the case, she could be doing this to keep the low interest rate or just to stay a homeowner. It’s hard to do an assessment without the current balance. If it’s a fair deal don’t drag it out. Worst case scenario you leave a few thousands on the table but keep your sanity.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 04:21 PM
1

Maybe she is into it… you should tell her what you liked about that girl and ask her if she agrees?
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 02:00 PM
2

Call the mortgage company and ask for an assumption. It possible they can take her name off the mortgage. This is how I avoided refinancing.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/23 02:29 AM
2

If you have kids do what is in their best interest. But if you don’t be careful if you have her incur too much debt she will just file bankruptcy instead of thinking she can dig herself out.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 04:22 AM
1

OP before being like a cryptic teenager on Facebook why don’t you tell us your thought provoking ideas and exactly how you tried to encourage discourse? All I see in your post is pouting about getting banned. What got you banned?
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 11:46 PM
3

Does her inability to be monogamous count as refusing to work with me?
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/23 05:01 PM
1

I had my ex tell me she felt abused. Not that I hit her or did anything... but that’s how she felt. I told her I felt like a princes but I wasn’t entitled to a tiara. I consulted my lawyer and a police officer friend. 1) communicate via text and email ONLY no phone calls 2) wear body cam when you are meeting in public. The result: I had some great text messages from the ex pissed off saying she never felt physically abused; when I said I was not willing to share a car with her because of her acc…
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/20 05:18 AM
-3

I think you are looking for a pity party. If she had to move out for a year I am guessing it’s because you forced her to do that because you would not agree to settle this like adults. Where you could have made an agreement that she pays you alimony for four years while you get a college degree. Instead you pouted said no to a divorce and forced her to take default action. You are in a love affair with your misery. You want to be a good dad for your kids find a way to be happy. Which one of your…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/20 03:34 AM
1

This is insurance, it also covers speeding tickets and bankruptcies a slew of other stuff I need currently. I will look into state statues in NY. Thanks for the advice. Do you have link to suggest? I’m one of those people who prepares for the worst regardless of anything.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/20 11:17 PM
6

I see so much of my relationship here and it makes me sad. REGARDING YOUR GUILT: Let it go the only way you could have made this marriage work with her is if you acted like your father in law. You are a good dude who loves his family and would never do that to his children. Good on you! This isn’t your fault. See a therapist to deal with the mourning and figure out why you wanted an emotional chaos generator for a partner. FIGHTING: You are in an awesome position currently you are in your origin…
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/20 10:45 PM
1

Thank you for sharing this timeline with your gf.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/20 04:21 PM
6

So take a deep breath... in Russia we have a saying, “put you dick on all of it, and march forward.” You feel shame because you are scared of what your small town community will think? Tell them to mind their shit! If you need a beautiful narrative that makes your ex the monster? NO PROBLEM HERE YOU GO BUDDY: Basically what I hear is that your heartless monster ex-wife did was leave you after finding out you have a very rare medical condition. Instead of being a supportive spouse she walked out.…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/20 10:37 PM
1

I’m sorry if I made it seem that I was aiming for full custody. I agree my daughter should have both parents 50/50. However I need to prove that I am capable of taking care of my child and must document everything. That is what has me unhappy.
/r/Divorce_Men29/02/20 05:25 AM
1

Receipts for museums and libraries and other things. Photos for rest. Do you have any suggestions?
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/20 11:02 PM
2

You might be able to leverage an NDA. Ask her what is to stop you from getting a gofundme page to help pay for your divorce. Might look bad if a potential client googled her or the other guy and found the go fund me page. Don’t put that in writing The rest of the advice is more on the level. Go on YouTube and watch videos on mistakes men make in divorce. It sounds like you also want your ex to accept culpability and apologize. This isn’t going to happen give up this objective and go get therapy …
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/20 08:43 PM
4

Custody I need you to be rational and not angry, is it in your kids best interest to not have contact with their mom? What is the best life for your kids? 100% is a hard ask but to help your chances, you have to be the primary guardian and it has to be for a significant if not a majority of your child's life. You being on deployment is an automatic significant subtraction. Unless the mother is not interested in custody or is a criminal/drug addict. If this goes before a judge; the judge will onl…
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/20 10:22 PM
3

Fucking shit bro I’m sorry Here is some advice if you want to fight! Confirm everything I’m about to tell you with an attorney. First (and I know it’s Uber painful) don’t count on her cheating as being helpful to your case at all. From here on out it’s all about the money. Try to get her to admit that she gave the money to her lover. This probably the only recourse you have to getting half of that money back. Look into getting more debt to balance out what you both owe so the split of debt is eq…
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/20 09:38 PM
2

Yes it helped. It was a pain in the ass to find one that took my insurance but I’m so glad I put the work in. She helped me learn why I spent years with a wife who was cheating on me. I plan on using it as a way to make myself look better in custody hearing.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/20 05:54 AM
1

I’m in a similar situation, brother. Me and the ex are still happily married on paper. I live in our old house our daughter is registered in pre-k at my address. She lives with her parents 30 minutes away. I have our child 51% of the time annually. She expressed to me that she wants to move her to the school district closer to her. Which would add an hour to my current commute. I am not sure how to stop her from doing that. I can show other school district that our child resides with me and that…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/20 06:03 PM
2

Sorry man. lol
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/19 06:55 PM
7

Nice. Do you need a visa for Thailand?
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/19 06:45 PM
1

Great job on turning her down. How long were you dating? I am probably projecting here because I had a situation where I let my ex constantly cheat on me, and I allowed it to happen up until our daughter was born. It took time with a psych to figure out why I wanted that situation if I did not like it.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/19 08:14 PM
4

STOP Are you looking to let everyone know your STBX is the scum of the earth or do you need legal advice? Btw you convinced me she is scum. NOW: You need therapy to figure out why you married this train wreck. I don’t believe she wasn’t nuts on day one. What’s your problem that when you saw this hot mess your reaction was... yeah ima put a ring on that one. She so smart just read these threatening letters to her ex’s baby mama. Poetry!
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/19 04:45 AM
1

Have you considered taking out a from your retirement plans?
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/19 01:55 PM
1

This isn’t related to your question but are you using this “married” time to prepare for divorce? Build up a war chest, put assets away into a trust etc ... consult your attorney on how to do it appropriately and above board.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/19 05:01 AM
4

Not a lawyer and you need a lawyer ASAP. I’m in NY here is what my lawyer consultation told me. Disability and other payments do not count towards joint assets. If this applies to VA I would counter in the following way. If they do not apply, her income compared to yours minus disability is probably less then hers making you eligible for alimony. You might not want or need the money, stash it and give it to your daughter as a graduation gift 😉
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/19 09:04 PM
1

You can say the books name. Can you tell me how to find one of these support groups?
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/19 05:59 PM
2

Free advice! The advice about leaving home is huge!
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/19 12:37 PM
1

DONT MOVE OUT!!! https://youtu.be/Q7MFD3G7ems
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/19 02:38 AM
2

I met her on ok Cupid. She is more of a friend now, we still talk.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/19 08:44 PM
2

It’s meant to.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/19 08:12 PM
4

I have mixed feelings about the dating right after. After years of being cheated on, having a FWB and she helped me get my confidence back. But I am trying to stay away from everything romantic and figure out myself.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/19 06:59 PM
4

Good news: it WILL get better! Faster then you thought and you will be proud of the scar. Bad news: it will only get better if you work for it. You need to invest in you. Work out: the routine helps, the exercise will help you focus and think more clearly. It’s an investment for the future. Get therapy: I was super unwilling to do this, I though : “Why do I need to go to therapy. tldr a basic bitch cheated on me and now I’m getting a divorce”. Therapy helped me realize why I was willing to be in…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/19 06:48 PM
5

Something is off, child support is a formula and it’s not 70%. If it’s based on his gross income from taxes and his business is ruined he needs an attorney to help him navigate. Her being illegal is as material as your friend choosing to marry and father two kids with an illegal resident.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/19 09:15 PM
1

Ok thank you for the advice.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/19 01:56 AM
1

Can I get the custody agreement signed before any other agreements?
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/19 12:12 AM
1

Interesting, I am planning on not using our house as leverage negotiation so I would like more information.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/19 02:00 AM
1

How did you avoid having to take on 50% of her student loan?
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/19 01:10 AM
6

It’s a catch 22 In order to get her interest back you have to be ok with her leaving and have a better life with her gone. This is probably the hardest thing in the world for you to do. I feel your pain. We all do! She is not a monster for leaving... however for some reason you have ignored signs of her being “unsatisfied”. You still love her with all your heart, but I bet she did not truly deserve it. You are putting her on a pedestal and not thinking clearly. Please seek a therapist and truly …
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/19 04:04 PM
2

I will have to suicide Please hear me here, I say this from a good place but I am not a nice person. There is pressure on your wife to keep you from committing suicide. I don’t know if you are putting it on her consciously or not but it’s not fair. It’s not a partnership when one person is responsible for keeping the other from committing suicide. Please get help. If it’s not working get other help. Mental health is HARD. It took me weeks to find a therapist then more weeks to wait for a schedul…
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/19 01:39 PM
1

I believe you man. You know her for 12 years if you feel something ain’t right it ain’t! Trust your gut!
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/19 04:08 AM
1

I have great respect for therapists. I’m seeing one right now and she helped me realize why I wanted a to be with a liar. Why she needed to cheat is between her and her therapist. I hope whatever happens is for the best.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/19 11:01 PM
5

Yeah that’s really why I left. More on my experience in counseling below: We sat at the therapist office and I was about to drop the hammer and say how I knew she cheated, but the counselor stopped me asked her if she did. She lied and said nope. The counselor then turns to me and asks: (paraphrasing) do you want to work on your marriage or do you want to be right? Wtf would anyone say in that situation? I decided to work on the marriage. Asked the counselor wtf and she said we need to work on t…
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/19 10:46 PM
2

My hear is racing because I feel I was you a year ago. Here is my takeaway! This is what our therapist did which make me feel I was played. She asked if the marriage got worse after the affair. Like your wife my wife was extra sexual so I thought it did not get worse, when if I thought about it more rationally it got dramatically worse, the self doubt and loss of self esteem is countless. And she asked if the affair was a symptom of the problems in the marriage? I Wish I was strong enough to hav…
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/19 09:10 PM
5

I appreciate the sentiment but I keep thinking of the price. All the benefits you mention come at the price of half my time with my daughter. I am going from being a primary caregiver to a half time dad. A price I am paying for her affair, so yes thanks for reminding me of the silver lining and it’s ultimately the right decision the price is steep.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/19 08:00 PM
1

She cheated. We went to therapy and she continued to cheat. So I left she told everyone I abandoned my daughter. I am going from 100% to 50% parent. I am angry and resentful because I am the one paying the price for her affair! Is that a good enough read.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/19 10:53 PM
1

All I know about CA is the following example about how they define equable. Your assets are split equitably so if you have a business in CA she owns half of it. But in NY she owns the percentage she contributed to it. It’s also hard to say which is better without knowing your situation
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/19 10:47 PM
1

Alimony is a formula, and the alimony gets worse as time progresses. You will look bad regardless, own it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/19 01:05 PM
3

Cut him off financially... get new separate bank account divert direct deposit into it. It’s a horrible thing to do but you can starve him out. Your a soldier what would you do in a war scenario? Cut of his resources, eliminate support. He may even get a job lol
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/19 03:36 AM
1

You said you wife is depressed? Is she seeking treatment, is it helping? It sounds to me like you are very empathetic and truly love your wife despite everything. Unfortunately these qualities are part of the problem. Depression is a monster and while it’s a mental disorder it can affect you. It can spread! Your wife’s depression is causing you to feel depressed, and you sound depressed. If she isn’t getting help get her to get help. Talk to your marriage counselor on how to talk to her about th…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/19 10:08 PM
0

You are a punk ass bitch. A selfish little man child. Instead of having a hard and tough conversation with his wife you are sneaking around behind her back. Man the fuck up and figure out your marriage. Your wife knows you are cheating on her! And if you think she doesn’t you are dumber then I thought. After 18 years together you think she can’t tell there is a difference in your behavior? Figure out wtf you want and tell her your wife. It’s that simple. Punk ass bitch.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/19 04:52 AM
2

Yes, get a therapist.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/19 03:33 AM
2

Would picking a good time help? Or have an additional reason to talk? My daughter is three and a half. I FaceTime her every night... BUT She has my STBX FaceTime me again as she is going to sleep. I really suspect this is a ploy to stay up! But I allow it. When I started my daughter hated FaceTime! I got a library card and read her at least one book every night. She is interested, she is engaged. Maybe you can pick a time that is convenient for your son or call right after a show or sport he lik…
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/19 04:43 AM
2

Enjoy your kids! I want to add an experience I had in couples therapy... the counselor kept asking if the affair was a symptom of the problems in the marriage? A soft nudge to suggest we had other shit to work on which turned into a sessions with n how I can do better and that the affair was just a symptom. It took me way to long to get my head clear to say if that’s a symptom I don’t want to be in this marriage. Otherwise it sets a precedent that if I fuck up enough it’s ok to cheat.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/19 04:28 AM
1

Too bad it’s not a thing in New York... I sometimes won’t if I should tell the other spouse of the affair
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/19 04:20 AM
2

I don’t approve of keeping stacks of cash laying around. Buy bitcoin.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/19 05:38 PM
1

Is that a civil law suit?
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/19 02:56 PM
5

I was in a similar situation but in New York; I would recommend the following! I assume you want the kids. Consider the following scenario: Have you considered going back to school? Maybe get a PhD or a second bachelors .... take a long sabbatical have ZERO income get some student loans. Spend EXTRA time with the kids? She will probably take the opportunity to see the fuckhead more. You will have proof of being the primary caregiver. She will have to take on half the student loans. You will not …
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/19 02:26 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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