TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

happyfunball5 Archive

View 1 post and 178 comments by happyfunball5 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
–

Why? I'm serious. Toward what end on a site where the reality you describe, and the logical consequences of that reality for a lot of men, is their lived experience? I'm really curious.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/25 02:08 PM
–

Socially unfit women still pass on their genes to their female and male children.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/25 01:43 PM
3

So OP is gay?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 02:12 PM
–

I never cared to ask or entertained talk about past experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 02:45 PM
6

I was going to say all red flags are flaws but not all flaws are red flags, but that's not true. Some red flags are just major incompatibilities. Someone being religious (or not) when you're the opposite and feel strongly about your beliefs could be a red flag, but it's hardly a flaw. Same with wanting children or not, political affiliation, where you want to live, etc. If you feel strongly enough about some significznt part of your life path and the other person's feeling is in conflict that's …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 05:52 PM
–

That snapping sound is people's teeth trying to catch this bait.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 01:55 PM
–

Same here. It's sad and frustrating. Their rigid thinking ends up being like armour warding off the help they need. I'd add some personality disorders to the mix too, though those that are marked by rigid thinking overlap a lot with autism.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/25 02:19 PM
–

Grieving a life you'd hoped for is 100% legit. But you don't need anyone's permission to do this. It's a private process anyway. Grieving doesn't necessarily end at some point, grieving before entering a relationship and being done with it may not happen, but it's also not so all consuming that you can't grieve while moving on with your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 02:21 PM
3

You don't seem to want to see a hopeful side to your comment or mine. I do. So be it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 08:27 PM
3

For everyone interested in getting together with someone. Especially men who seem more pained by not getting together but that may often be that women are better prepared to be single. And good news for both because the changes you hint at are possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 06:34 PM
1

That's a bad news/good news thing. Bad news because it's likely true for many people. Good news because it's fixable.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 06:16 PM
7

I agree. Social media is a bit of a scourge. It pulls people away from more healthy interactions by "engaging" them with anger. Which kind of logically makes them extra cautious or even jaded
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 06:14 PM
2

Your answer is solid.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 06:00 PM
3

What qualities in men do you think women look for but don't find?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 04:04 PM
0

That's gotta be tough. Your comment is buried a bit in this part of the thread but I hope more men see it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 04:00 PM
0

I think the OP is looking through a glassdarkly for sure, but what do you think the correct interpretation is?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 04:08 PM
–

If I step back, the people this OP targets seem to deserve to be targeted, but it's really a big case of punching down. Starts to have a bit of "Incel Tear" feel to it. And while this shit isn't really targeted at me except in a weak, distant past sort of way, it does get me empathetic, which honestly is overrated as an experience. I really would rather be mad or amused, but of well.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 01:42 PM
–

She's clearly rage baiting or a man self harming and hoping to drag a few more men with him. Is that really what you're about, even if low key?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 01:32 PM
6

OK, be honest. Do you think the OP's personality might be a part of why he's struggling? Whatever else he has going on, would you expect a woman to deal with his level of neediness? Personality matters like looks do. There's a threshold and it's somewhat diferent for different women. For different men too but we're talking about women now. I think you'd agree there's a level of unattractiveness that really damages a man's ability to date. Don't you think there's a level of shitty attitude that d…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 03:29 PM
9

The problem isn't as dire as you seem to state, but I'll concede that there is a problem. You seem to think there's a societal level response needed. What do you propose?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 02:51 PM
–

It may sound weird or a case or virtue claiming but I can't quite let go of these men who seem hopelessly black pilled or depressed or just stuck in a learned helplessness pit. I'm not all that virtuous if that seems at all noble. I relate to the basic feeling these men arrive at that they can't meet a basic desire or need because I felt that way when I was young. I'm way old by this site's demo so I never encountered any of the online grifters that often push these men from confusion or mild de…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 02:35 PM
2

I try to stay away from comments about people's appearance or body type. I don't directly insult people's intelligence, though I may question their reasoning. I don't insult people over their sexual choices. If I call someone fat as an insult I at least indirectly insult every fat person who hears me or reads my words. It can be really tempting and I won't say I never indulge, but it's rare and I genuinely try not to.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 01:21 PM
1

Do you think most men on this site see the word standards in the same light?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 08:26 PM
1

Thoughtful response. When you say standards do you think men hear the things you listed, or do you think they hear looks, height, etc. I think the men who jump to that conclusion are either projecting or consciously trying to maintain their belief, so you're in no way responsible, but do you see the disconnect?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 08:24 PM
1

I'll say this. In a technical sense at least the women you expressed clear interest in who didn't feel the same did take an action that adversely affected you. That is how life works. They made a choice that seemed right for them and it caused you some emotional pain. Those are facts. Those women also aren't society. Whe you say society has done this to you it does seem like you don't believe you can do anything to help yourself. I'm not analyzing you, but your word choice does convey that. Only…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 08:20 PM
1

Duplicate.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 08:05 PM
1

That's actually clear.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 08:05 PM
1

I believe sex is a need. No one dies without sex, but that's not what the word "need" means. No one dies without respect but I call it a need too. So sex is important and for sexual people, most of us, it's needed to be fulfilled. If you feel you need to make your sexlessness part of your identity, I'd definitely steer clear of the toxic by association term and look for something more positive or at least neutral. Presexual or sex aspiring. A virgin looking for a change. Those may be awful, but …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 07:51 PM
2

Out of simple curiosity, in what context does sharing your status does sharing your status benefit you. Even in your own mind, does it benefit you to apply a label? I'm not suggesting you deny your reality as not having sex, but why do you need to incorporate that into your private or public identity?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 07:38 PM
3

I see those responses too and those men are determined to believe what they believe. Women who choose to engage here know those men think that way, so adding a bit about what she means by unattractive or elaborating a bit on what standards men typically don't meet would clarify her stanbce. Maybe not to the man she's inteacting with, but maybe him. Or maybe a likeminded man who's reading with a little objectivity because he's not directly engaged. Or the guy who wants to believe it's not all abo…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 07:28 PM
2

For most of the men here, dating standards exclusively refer to looks. They don't think personality matters at all unless it's a horrible awful abusive toxic personality, in which case it matters a lot cause women love being abused and treated terribly. For most of the women here, I think dating standards are mostly personality based. I think they care somewhat about looks, but not as much as men here claim. This is the subtext of the thread. I think we often talk past each other as a result of …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 06:32 PM
1

I had meant to answer for me but I forgot to, so.... I'd be a 5 also. Standards are the things I look at when I'm baseline attracted. I'm a warm approach person at most, so I'm going to know something about a woman besides her appearance, things like her sense of humor, maybe a bit about her values, whether we seem to have any rapport, etc. I see dating as time to find out more of that stuff, which I then match to my standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 06:29 PM
2

Which for a man who is already insecure, that's bad news. I'm not saying it should be any other way, but it makes a difficult task, getting to "yes", more difficult. So some men lament.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 03:32 PM
0

I'm not sure that's oftden the advice? If it relates to a man "value" that sounds RP so maybe I'm not the person to advise you. But if it's more general advise it's not great either. Don't fawn over a woman. Don't ask out all the women at the party, hobby group, or wherever. Those things look desperate. But showing interest in a measured way by talking, flirting, and seeing how she reacts shows social skill and social awareness whether she's interested or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 04:08 PM
6

I agree. I've been there. Not the bitter response portion but the feeling that not meeting a common preference among women is kind of a referendum on my attractiveness. I don't know that there's any benefit to men seeking understanding or reassurance from women in a forum like this, but suggesting they'll die alone or wreck civilization because they prefer a commonly preferred trait isn't the way to get those things.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 09:14 PM
26

Men are telling you "no" and you're telling them they're wrong. You seem to have keen powers of knowinbg stuff, OP. And an agenda.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 01:24 PM
–

One of the best comments I've read here. The dynamic you describe is all over politics and media and especially social media. Nuance doesn't sell, or draw an audience or page visits. I think we're quite mired in a "we have met the enemy and he is us" epoch.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 01:45 PM
–

I don't see this. Can you not see that you're expecting women to choose men based on their contributions to society. Why shouldn't men line up to "reward" women who make solid contributions? In an abstract sense it would be ideal if life rewarded genuinely kind and tangibly helpful men and women more than it does, including their love lives, but that's not the world we live in. The US seems to value marriage for men and women and that already has perks.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 09:32 PM
–

Real question. Among the men you're attracted to, are you more attracted to some than others?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 09:09 PM
1

The men who feel strongest about this are not dating much or at all in their 20s. That's not your fault or women's fault but I sometimes wonder if women here on this site who say to men "your 20s are for dating around" realize that they're basically saying noon is lunch time to someone who doesn't have lunch. You mentioned elsewhere (I think it was you) that the men stuck on this have a fomo thing going on. Bingo. They see they're 20s passing by or they look back at them and feel they missed out…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 09:01 PM
-1

Legit term, but often misused here, so I get your point. But dating/mating strategies are discussed and researched by social psychologists and sociologists, as well as anthropologists.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 08:37 PM
2

I think we feel it's contagious, which in a sense it can be.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 10:29 PM
6

Aren't women well aware of that though? And doesn't that awareness make women more cautious, whittling that advantage down to a twig?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 10:24 PM
4

I think you're right, and I think it's effectively almost impossible for many young men to act on what you're suggesting. I'm in a relationship and all of my dating experience was before apps but if I were 25-30 and single I don't know if I could have. Individual men's frequent swiping habits lower their visibility on the apps. They also mark them as someone who will purchase options to fix what they themselves have broken. It's part of the business model. Men's collective swiping habits must ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 10:21 PM
1

This discussion is silly and while I'm not much invested in it, I said elsewhere that it seems that in general a man who has the upfront looks, charm, or ability to read women but a little lacking in steadiness or reliability is better able to hook-up and get into a relationship. A man who is more the steady relaible type with less clear though not absent up front appeal is more the relationship guy. I say that knowing many men aren't either or, but can be both at the right time or in the right …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/25 09:45 PM
2

I went to an all boys HS. Biggest mistake I ever made. Some guys did fine with it, but I and guys like me who were a little stunted socially needed to be around girls. To get to know them aside from trying to date them. It was a solid academic start but I'd have traded several points on my ACTs for a better social start.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/25 04:25 PM
2

There's a lot of near mythology around this topic. It's also the only place you can land (hook-upmaterial is better than husband material) if you believe in TRP. But even for men who are steeped in the mythology or the dogma, husband material reads as limiting. Hook-up guy can usually be husband guy easier than husband guy can hook-up. Sounds like the best of both worlds. Who if he's wired to want both wouldn't prefer to be seen (to see himself) as both?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/25 04:20 PM
1

This site seems to draw lots of men who didn't have fun when young or who are still young and waiting for the fun to begin. My adolescence and early adulthood were not "fun", and that's painful. I'm in a good relationship now (with a woman who had lots of fun) and I believe she loves and wants me but that doesn't remove the scars from those years. I believe she grew into a person who would love me. I also know I'd have been invisible to her at 18 or 20, but I'd have noticed her. Wanted her. That…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/25 04:10 PM
1

And as our tolerance for boredom or just ordinary lulls drops in all kinds of relationships, we dump out more quickly-and end up more lonely.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/25 02:20 PM
4

Oh I'm not advocating for cruelty, just observing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/25 01:51 PM
4

Sometimes cruelty is the point.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/25 02:13 AM
–

A certain % of really attractive people will become quite entitled. A certain % will be especially well adjusted due to being more welcomed pretty much everywhere. I think those %s are pretty close to each other. The rest are a crap shoot.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/25 01:50 PM
3

Do you think it might suck to be neurodivergent? With this site as a microcosm it seems like a pretty hard way to go.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 03:48 AM
4

The only thing more predictable than this topic is your "I got mine, sucks to be you" tone.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 03:31 AM
–

I don't think the patriarchy is meant to make men strong and independent. More like outwardly functional, which is different. The term patriarchy is too often used as a cudgel on individual men so it's pretty tainted for me. But there is a system that needs us to function to a point. Beyond that the system couldn't care less. Concepts like masculinity serve the system by prompting men to aspire to a higher level of system approved functioning. That's where ideas like MGTOW make some sense, thoug…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 01:50 PM
6

This is such a 1950s, women are a ball and chain kind of take. I mean it's updated but it's the same sentiment.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 01:22 PM
–

You're right about Trump. He's a petulant bitch. As to your stance on women not being attracted to, or more accurately being turned off by bi men, not all preferences are created equal. When women or men's tastes just happen to match the tightly defined gender expectations held dear by the most non progressive people, maybe we ought to at least think about that. Women who call themselves progressive don't get a pass for categorically refusing to date men the right hates. Their choice, but one th…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/25 04:50 PM
6

I have modest luck with women. My look is polarizing apparently, but a few women I'm attracted to like it. When I was younger I was hit on fairly regularly by gay men. A year's worth of approaches from gay men in my 20s probably matches my lifetime of overt approaches from women.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/25 04:30 PM
4

The advice women give suggesting qualities like kindness, relaiability, humor and so on matter is good advice. But assortive mating is a thing. Those qualties can make you stand out from other men in her dating pool who are about as attractive as you. And the "she" we're talking about will be about as attractive as you. Those qualities won't catapult you from the dating pool of women who are 5s or 6s into the dating pool of women who are 8s or 9s if you're a 5 though. And I think that's where a …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/25 03:50 PM
4

I find some things about her looks very attractive snd she feels the same, but I don't believe either of us are blind to other people's beauty. I genuinely love her and I'm committed to her, and she to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 07:07 PM
-1

Unattractive people who are happy in their relationship prioritize other attractive qualities besides looks. With rare exceptions all of us choose from among the choices available to us. Those with few people open to dating them typically "see" things in their partners, important things to a relationship, that the rest of us may not. And my partner must be squinting a little when she looks at me.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 06:52 PM
1

They think that being wanted just for casual sex /their bodies means that they are super sexy/listable/desirable/wanted and someone values them for more just for them not just what they can provide ( like money, stability, emotional labor,comfort - none of that is fun to provide and is much less important to them than sex ) I think your understanding is pretty complete. While male, I also see myself as more an observer than a believer, but I think some things get lost in this discussion. Regardi…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 05:16 PM
12

They are, but being told why you struggle with something doesn't always lead to acceptance of the struggle or the consequences.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 02:25 AM
16

I don't like piling on, but autism is the gift that keeps on giving. I run a program that supports people with disabilities looking for work, many of whom are diagnosed with autism. The men with significant social challenges not only struggle with the absence of social skills, but also that absence is seen as creepy or potentially dangerous. Autistic women fit in somewhat better in their actions but have a hard time reading men's intentions socially and get targeted by bad actors. We try to addr…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 02:08 AM
0

If you have areas where you can significantly improve, of course it helps. You want to be able to say, "The bad news is it's my fault. That's also the good news".
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 01:53 AM
2

I split with my wife over money and her drinking. We had other issues, and she had some legit gripes, but $$ and her drunken come ons were too much.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 01:50 AM
4

I'm in a relationship but I never feel truly secure in it and I think I've all but given up on feeling that sense of security. On getting past the idea that I'm just posing as a person who's attractive to anyone. Believing I'm attractive in any sense is like a religious exercise based more on faith than evidence. This may seem like a really odd place to exercise faith but once in a while a comment resonates and I feel a little hope. Other times I feel wistful. I read something and take a deep br…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 12:26 AM
6

That's a good definition.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 08:05 PM
–

You know, nevermind. These threads today touched (like with a hot wire) a nerve. I don't understand, but that's not your problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 08:00 PM
–

How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 07:58 PM
–

In the other thread about why you hook up you spoke highly of the experience. Here you seem to be expressing something like contempt for men who hook up. Am I misreading you?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 06:54 PM
2

Why do you think the conventional wisdom here is that hookups are a waste of time for women?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 06:39 PM
1

On a personal level all's fair. But Upbeat insurance's point below is valid and I think it's the basis for a lot of the pushback some men get when expressing disgust or anger or getting into name calling. I'm not sating you did that, but some comments here on this topic get pretty incendiary and that's not healthy for anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 03:07 PM
4

You think the women who get with Leo haven't been with lots of men prior to him?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/25 08:36 PM
3

But doesn't that at least suggest that women are essentially polluted by their sexual contact with men?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/25 08:35 PM
–

I think that's true. But lots of men worry about their physiques in general and sometimes in excruciating detail. Most men are very aware of the gap between how we look and how actors and athletes and fitness models look. Even if it doesn't occupy our every waking moment.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/25 07:53 PM
0

I don't think it's automatic, but I think frustrated man = misogynist does happen. A lot of frustrated man do say hateful or contemptuous things about women though, and that can make that association easier to make. Negativity bias. There's also an element of just world thinking in some cases.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/25 07:49 PM
–

Men also go on about their hair, the size of their wrists, the shape of their jaw, their canthal tilt, their nose, their shoulders, chest, waist, and their body fat %. You've not been paying attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/25 07:11 PM
0

True. Some tests you pass by failing them.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 04:31 PM
–

I'd add that the vast majority of men navigating a system that doesn't serve us either.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 04:37 PM
4

Yeah, I think maybe the existence of attractive women might be the cause of the heartbreak.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 06:08 AM
1

It's more inevitable than fair. There's a tension between us and it's fuel when we otherwise click and pretty nice while we're doing it, but the rest of the time it's just tension.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 06:05 AM
3

Is this some medieval alchemy shit? The pair bonding disability caused by sex I mean.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 06:00 AM
24

Legally we were getting there but there's backtracking now. The Dobbs decision and all the heavy statist ways some want to interpret that, for example. Culturally we have a long way to go. I don't think men have it a lot better though. That feeling we have that we'll be sent to the glue factory if we develop a limp is real enough, but women are almost never driving the carriage we're pulling. It's almost like someone want$ men and women at odds and different races or ethnicities at odds as a dis…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 05:34 AM
0

I think they bathe in our tears.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 05:24 AM
0

Do you think that's about the same process men go through?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 02:12 AM
1

I'm in a solid relationship now. We're not married but we're invested in each other in lots of ways, and I really feel like we mostly mirror each other. Maybe I'm lucky. Not so much the case in my marriage though, and while it wasn't a CF for the reasons a lot of men fear, it wasn't what I had wanted. So maybe I'm lucky and maybe I learned something along the way too.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 08:43 PM
7

I think that's part of what dating is about. If she's not close to matching my interest that's telling me something important I'll share with her if she asks why we're breaking up.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 07:09 PM
24

For men who won't get a date much less sex or a relationship without some effort to refuse to make that effort because Chad exists (the concept and actual men who define are it's embodiment) is just being self defeating. We all walk our own path to fulfillment and we don't get to walk another's path. A little woo woo but true. Once in a relationship, I want to be treated like I matter to her. A lot. In bed and out. That's how I treat a woman I'm interested in and I expect comparable treatment an…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 06:59 PM
7

I'm male but frustration with some of the men's comments here isn't unique to women. What may impact women differently is that in their frustration some men try to put women on the defensive or spew invective at women while seemingly asking for understanding or support? Something I see is that almost by definition the men who feel hopeless are dedicated to, feeling hopeless. Some just want to talk crap, but many seem to want to engage women but as I said above they set that up poorly and then re…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 02:56 PM
4

You're correct, but there's a whole mythology around who short men are and it's both tough to deal with and also always there to fit short men into if they even slightly fit the myth. I say this as a man who's over 6 ft tall.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 01:43 PM
6

When you say that after X amount of effort some men will still not be attractive enough, what do you mean? There may be other ways to interpret that comment, but I can think of two. There's a level of attractiveness in men below which no women will see him as a romantic option There's a level of attractiveness in women below which you can't see women as a romantic option, and you can't get attractive enough for those women. Either conclusion seems legit to me. I'm asking which you arrived at, or…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 01:40 PM
1

That can often be true. It's almost like some men would rather die than admit they're sick=their armour is cracked.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 01:16 PM
5

I think you nailed it. I'd add Covid and the drag it was on many young people's development, along with a tough economy.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 09:02 PM
1

Understanding isn't pity. Having said that, a lot of men see women as nurturing, or they see nurturing as a feminine trait. I think many men who go on about empathy or sympathy or the lack of it from women here are angry and lashing out, and not coincidentally they fulfill their prophecy when women aren't empathetic or sympathetic to their lashing out. Not surprising, is it? But other men seem to want something more like compassion, which comes from a nurturing impulse.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 02:24 PM
2

I'm not one, but there are people with autism and people with tunnel vision related to depression on this sub. Where do you get off talking this way? What the fucking fuck?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 09:58 PM
7

Is that any use to the less attractive man who can't seem to connect with anyone though? Not that anyone has to offer him useful advice, but it's it's often offered as if it werre useful.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 09:50 PM
1

If a guy's 17, typically the girls in his orbit are also in HS and some will be 15 or 16. No one at that age in the west has much sense. If we're comparing, girls are a little more functional than boys, who are pretty much orange cats at that age but girls are just slightly better. Two or three brain cells vs one. But in any case, you're asking a question you know the answer to. The answer isn't an indictment of women. Men like upbeat and outgoing women and some like women with an edge. We also …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 09:42 PM
2

If you substitute women for feminists you lose most of the emotional content. But if you do that, point one has some validity. But then virgin men who resent virgin shaming shame promiscuous women, so there's that. I think some women are genuinely arbitrary about height, but that seems rare. If a women isn't attracted to a shorter man, she's not attracted. That's not shaming. Women have long worked as nurses aides, housekeepers, custodians and other low paying care taking jobs. Slective traditio…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 06:44 PM
1

I'm not on X so I can't see the answers in the comments. How did they shake out? I'm a straight man and I'd rather find out she was bi.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 05:02 PM
–

I get it, I really do. Isn't part of getting past your sexuality being demonized to fully own it even if that means not demonizing men's sexuality. I suspec that the tendency to differentiate from men's sexuality is because it was seens as the default and that didn't always serve women, and still doesn't. But it feels like some women want to have it both ways, having the freedom to behave much like men but still clinging to the outdated notion that women are less sexual or so different in their …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 04:19 PM
–

I'm not at all surprised. I had the same experience noticing which boys were popular and which weren't and there was never a moment since when I was unsure of how this works. I'm sympathetic and maybe a bit empathetic toward men who feel deceived though. I don't think we were deceived, but I get feeling that way. A couple of reasons. Women on average seem attracted to and or aroused by more behavioral traits than men are. I think some men want those other traits to have more impact than they do,…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 03:39 PM
10

Beat me to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 03:31 PM
1

I think it's understandable in a comedy context. Virulent incels don't deserve much sympathy directed at their feelings, so I guess they're fair game in that sense. I don't think it's a matter of sexual selection, which I think is what she meant. Being an incel isn't a single genetic trait that can be selected against, so it's not good science, but that wasn't her point. I think her point was to get a reaction from the audience, and just maybe to point out to incels that they may be unselecting …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 09:55 PM
4

When men say that women's standards for a man's looks are absurd I think they're often projecting. Same in some cases with the claim that women see them as less than human if they're not attracted to them. In the same vein I think women claiming they're not a monolith are sometimes seeing a simple generalization as a claim that all women everywhere and always are X or Y.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 05:20 PM
–

I would objectively rate myself a 4 or a 5 out of 10. 5.5 is the midpoint between 1 and 10, so I'm a little below average. But more on that below. I didn't get the dating life I wanted, so this is hard to answer. I got a dating life that led me to a wonderful woman I'm attracted to, but it was a slog. Lots of emotional scarring I'm still dealing with, some of it self inflicted. I'd say my my effort was moderate when trying to date but significant in maintaining this relationship My genetics or n…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 05:10 PM
1

Not at all. I prefer that a woman be finacially independent and responsible, but beyond that her money isn't all that important.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 02:52 PM
1

Maybe. Saying women in relationships are whores and men are johns seems a little extreme, but then he wanted to get people's attention. I could have sadi he wanted to be a jackass, but I chose a lass provocative way to word it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 02:18 PM
–

I don't blame you for feeling frustrated, but I don't think autism is a superficial disability. I think about 80% of the time there's a genetic link. One one parent has autism there's about a 10% chance their child will. It's a tough disorder so it's heritability matters. But beyond that, what exactly does "give someone a chance" mean? This is harsh, but if a woman finds your surface style awkward, do you really expect her to make the effort to get beyond that?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 06:10 PM
6

Assuming you're right (I don't), all relationships involve giving and taking. What's gained by using an inflammatory word like prostitution to describe them?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 05:10 PM
4

Women don't go a lot of places alone. For good reason really.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 03:57 PM
1

I don't know that it will change anything, but making it more appealing to women to go places where men and women socializw (potentially) is one of those little tweaks that can't hurt.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 03:53 PM
1

Your comments about the threat men pose to women (and to other men) are accurate, but does men's propensity to violence really apply to many of the WAW comments men make? I mean sure, some men want to refute that men are more violent than women but that's nonsense. Women feeling unsafe around men far more often than the reverse, isn't all there is to the WAW deal. It bleeds into areas that are more about virtue than threats. Does that that justify or even explain losing objectivity in discussion…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 03:51 PM
1

I think you're right about men seeming to delay being a responsible adult. I also think too many men leave out the liking each other part. Being likeable and actually liking her.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 02:17 PM
3

Is it not harmful to your partner or your relationship to want that partner to be dominant if that's not who they are?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 09:57 PM
5

If men come to expect something based on fantasizing about it, why would women not also? And those expectations could also harm men who feel obligated to fulfill them, could harm relationships, and so on.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 09:54 PM
–

In one way or another the OP is just fucking with people. For example, suggesting that women's frequent preference for tall men has nothing to do with vanity and then writing; They want to humble-brag to their friends about how "it's so hard to find clothes that fit my son, he's so tall! Is just silly. Then the link to the video where the woman mounts her son like he's her own private fucktoy. Just some healthy affection between a 16 yr old and his straight from central casting MILF. I'd think t…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 03:08 PM
1

There's no should about it. People enter relationships with their own expectations and those are accepted or they're not. It's great for you to look for a man who fits your expectations, but if a man doesn't you keep looking or stay single.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 01:14 AM
2

I think men here raging at women are using this space to shoot the messenger. Not healthy, but there's a sort of logic to it. I can see where men who have no luck in dating feel generally rejected by women. The message is they're not wanted and the message comes from women. There are surely better ways to deal with that than spewing vitriol here. A lot of people claim men who do so are too lazy to look inward. I think a lot of them have, and they hate what they see, Men who feel sad or hurt or h…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 11:57 PM
2

When one group claims they've emerged from the cave and seen reality while the rest of us prefer to watch the shadows, I can't agree with that kind of arrogance. Reminds me of one weird trick, or several but same conceptually.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 11:40 PM
1

Why do you support TRP?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 11:37 PM
3

In your experience and that of your women friends and relatives, do you really believe most men who are floundering primarily due to the things you list? Don't read my question as a counter claim. I'm genuinely curious.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 06:46 PM
3

I don't deny this and I don't think about it much. But as a man who seldom has been seen as attractive outright (probably never), when I do think about it some doubt creeps in. So in that vein, have you been in relationships of any length with men you were outright attracted to and at other times with men where then attraction developed? If so, was the attraction pretty much the same?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 06:42 PM
1

I might shift the %s a bit but that's about what I see around me. A few men's looks almost always help and very seldom hurt their chances of being seen as attractive right away. A similar number's looks almost always are a hindrance and never a benefit, and then a bigger # in the middle aren't repulsive but only occasionally are immediately attractive. They need to click with a woman and that click sometimes boosts attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 06:35 PM
1

Just wanted to let you know I didn't downvote you. I don't know that you care about downvotes, but I thought we had a good exchange.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 11:01 PM
1

Aren't they pretty tall?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 10:41 PM
–

And its hard because men emotionally police one another a lot to ensure that no one steps out of line. There are women on that police force too.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 06:14 PM
–

Even if she had an unpleasant dinosaur I'd want to meet her.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 01:45 PM
2

I don't want to fuck her either. My dick has pride too. Having said that, this scenario is too neatly packaged.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 08:47 PM
2

Well said.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 08:43 PM
7

I agree in general with your points, but in interactions between men and women, I think an asshole is also someone who consistently pushes boundaries. In approachoaching women, flirting, and on a date. And I think the better looking the man, the more his objectively asshole behavior is somewhat overlooked or forgiven soon enough, and the more near asshole behavior can be seen as bold or charming. Not by every woman but by enough that he has the initial advantage of being quite attractive and the…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 03:41 PM
5

I really do see your point, but I think I have one to and we're not that far off. When women explain their height preference it almost always makes things worse. I've seen women say a taller man makes her feel more feminine, which a shorter man might read as her needing a man of X height because she's insecure. O worse yet a woman will say she wants him to be taller than her in heels, almost equating him to one more way she can accessorize. I don't think women mean it that way but I think if it'…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/25 08:31 PM
4

I'm fairly tall at 6-1 and that probably never hurt my social life but I'm hard pressed to see where it helped. But at my height I think I can be somewhat objective. When you say I will say (as a person who has height preference) that it's a bit of ridiculous one because it's not about how beautiful someone is, or what person he is, or even what he can do, it's just a ridiculous preference that shows nothing. I know that i have it because of social conditioning and with time and experience i car…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/25 08:06 PM
2

You're right about alcohol, but long term meds aren't without pretty significant risks.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 08:52 PM
3

Probably not the example you want to pair with dating struggles. If there are levels of tone deafness, this is profound.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 02:39 PM
4

Does someone with solid self control and a healthy outlook seek out self harm in the first place though? It's like telling a fat person they eat too much when they could just eat less. I mean you're right, but in a way that makes the rightness moot.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 09:03 PM
0

I do. Even the men who get angry and bitter and flailing like an out of control toddler. I try to be generous in considering what their story might be. what might be under their vitriol. I don't begrudge people avoiding them or setting boundaries, but there's a casual cruelty directed at them at times and that sucks.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 08:56 PM
24

In a survey of the biggest online poly group several years ago they asked straight people who were established as monogamous and opened their relationship which partner initiated the change. In 2 out of 3 cases it was the woman. There's recent evidence that women often become bored with monogamy faster than men, in 3-5 years where for men it was 7-10. So it's probably true that men should get over the appeal to nature argument when they want to justify looking or cheating, and women who for so l…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 07:45 PM
2

It makes sense that couples have a real in depth talk about having kids. And in that discussion both parties should listen closely to what their partner wants but also to how he or she expresses what they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 03:06 AM
1

Serious now, isn't the lack of masculinity more like neutral?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 02:42 AM
3

Everyone seems to be assuming misogynists are men.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 09:37 PM
2

I see that stated but there's a subtle difference between the fear of becoming something and the fear of losing something. You can be seen as less masculine without being seen as feminine, and many men fear that loss too. It can be fear of being seen as a woman, but it isn't necessarily. And besides, what kind of man uses an umbrella?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 09:35 PM
2

Some desperate people are thinking about sex and worrying about quality later. Also drunk people, rebounding people, and so on.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 09:31 PM
3

I agree with all your points, but people who are desperate for sex are sometimes not thinking about quality in the moment. This includes some women and not all men, but I'd guess the ratio of this kind of desperate is about 9 men to 1 women.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 09:22 PM
6

Come on man. You're assisting in your argument's suicide.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 03:49 PM
2

It's foolish not to. I work in social services so I was never going to earn a lot, and so I married someone with some ambition herself. We split and two modest earners with kids and seperate households was and is a challenge, but had she been starting from scratch it would have been much worse. My son and 2 daughters took copious notes.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 03:30 PM
3

OP has a point. Men have responsibility for marrying women who earn little or nothing and who have little earning potential. Several years of being a SAHM won't improve her prospects, so if they split some reasonable division of assets and at least temporary support until she can become somewhat self sufficient seems fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 02:42 PM
3

You have a point. Assholes often win.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 10:09 PM
-1

That's your call.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 10:07 PM
3

People want happy relationships with a partner they are compatible with People with autism, being first and foremost people, want the same. I would not date or marry a woman with autism who wasn't quite good at masking so I'm not being holier than thou, but that often frustrated desire is what keeps these conversations popping up.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 10:05 PM
-1

I appreciate your resistance, but could you think of it as how you present who you are?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 10:01 PM
3

I agree. Singular and intense interest in a topic is a pretty classic trait in autism, and combined with men being expected (often) to keep a date rolling along it's almost inevitable they'll go on about their stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 09:49 PM
1

I think sex having is pretty OK, so I do resent those implications. A lot of men who have high partner counts see women like them as sluts. It may be a kind of self hatred for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 09:43 PM
7

Exactly. Lots of men are longing to hear what women would prefer men downplay.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 09:35 PM
2

I was just thinking "why not both?"
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 09:17 PM
19

And men are more accepting of women's quirks. I don't claim that's in any way noble though. Regardless it explains some of the different outcomes.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 09:16 PM
1

Then isn't it a system problem that men are falling behind? Or should she be able to transcend the damage the system does since men are expected to?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 09:10 PM
9

I think it does present differently and less obviously in women. Some of that may be due to women being socialized differently, but not all. That sort of obstinate insistence on order is far more common in men than women on the AS. And while I'm not blaming anyone for it, the same traits are often looked on differently between the sexes, with men being judged more harshly by women and men, girls and boys.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 09:04 PM
8

Do you really? I think men seldom talk about wanting emotional connection because it sounds soft, but why would that matter only to women?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 08:10 PM
12

While I agree that autism can be a big dating challenge, I think it's pretty well acknowledged here. Often in a general and insulting way, sometimes more gently to individuals, butThe traits you mention "poor body language, flat affect, trouble with empathy, lack of extroversion" are real dating obstacles and people acknowledge that in some form. The solution is social skills training to better understand what's expected, strategies to deal with the emotional overload dating causes and the senso…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 08:07 PM
–

I found it helpful. I'm blue pilled but there are elements of TRP like the general reality focus that ring true. Therapy helped me understand my emotions better and helped me manage them. I was young long before pills or incel language were a thing but at 20 I could have thought it was "over". I remember thinking I'd never have a relationship or even hold a full time job because that's how I felt, and I treated those feelings as a deep and constant truth and that's what they became. Once I stopp…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 02:58 PM
2

It's hard to tell. Lots of men seem all to willing to see themselves as monstrosities because they can't get a date, so maybe they see neutral comments as moral condemnation in a bout of confirmation bias.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 04:42 PM
3

I too believe the men who do this are trying to maximize their victimhood. I think men and women are closer than either tend to want to admit regarding what we want from a partner, but these men hang onto and emphasize the overstated differences to explain their difficulty dating. Men oversimplify what we want and can seem to want only an agreeable woman who looks good to us, as if there's something noble about that simplicity. Women lean into the varied traits they look for, as if there's somet…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 04:36 PM
2

Be careful what you ask for. I'd wager you benefit from men having a place to vent that isn't your front door step. Think about that and count your twisted little blessings.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 02:19 PM
3

The endest end thread ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 02:17 PM
–

People we'd all agree are not attractive know that they're not so much to look at and neither is their partner. They probably see lots of people they realize are better looking than either of them. I'm not talking about hollywood unattractive like Seth Rogan or Amy Shumer who can be close to someone's type, but truly hard to look at people. They exist and they know beautiful and pretty good looking people exist, and they fit neither description. As you move away from conventional good looks men …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 02:13 PM
–

At this point in time it would be best if women listened to men regarding how we'd like to be viewed. I'm pretty blue pilled and not concerned with, and also not interested in hearing about a woman's past. I'm probably more husband material to the women I'm interested in. But don't tell me that. It wouldn't deflate me beyond repair but it wouldn't feel all that good either. So if you care about a man's feelings, maybe don't limit him to a category, and if you must, keep it to yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 01:47 PM
2

Totally relevant. Children, 80 year old women with a propensity to wear those "house coats" or whatever those are, and lots of other women or girls with no hint of enticing men about them get assualted. So dressing or looking a particular way is neither necessary nor sufficient to make rape "not a surprise".
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 01:41 PM
–

But that presumes that the spectrum is reliable, which I don't know that you've demonstrated. But if we agree that it is, what you put forth is descriptive and it works well enough on that level, but you at least imply that it's prescriptive, which you offer no evidence for. Why else would better conceptualizing the dynamics you believe are important if men couldn't then put those ideas into practice? These types also seem problematic if your goal is to educate with an eye toward acting on new k…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 05:27 PM
9

One I know was 9 and 10 at the time. Ponder that for a second.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 04:50 PM
3

When I haven't been online for a while it's takes like this that lead me to think "no one really advocates for providing wives" because that's crazy talk, and then I run into a post like this. It's crazy talk.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 04:47 PM
–

What is your goal here? Do you think these categories help in any way? And you seem to want to describe or clarify men's dating reality in order to help them. Does reducing men to "types" really do that though? Especially since your opinion is merely that and not in any way authoritative? Or is this just an exercise in taxonomy? is that healthy in a place where men are already way to inclined to assign themselves into self-limiting categories?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 02:43 PM
2

This is an odd question to ask. That someone would participate in a cycle that harms them seems good evidence that they're not functioning well and gravitate toward abusers while giving off signals that attract abusers. No one really chooses that.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 09:21 PM
1

Your agenda is showing again.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 04:45 PM
3

Agreed. Anyone claiming they love a romantic partner unconditionally, or especially that men do so exclusively is irrational.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 08:28 PM
2

Yet here you are declaring it. Protesting. Loudly.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 08:23 PM
1

I'm pretty mediocre looking but the only women that ever flirted hard with me were much older than me when I was 19-24 or so. I'm male.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 06:02 PM
5

Lots of toxicity out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 05:49 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter