TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

harrohamtaro Archive

View 4 posts and 184 comments by harrohamtaro on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
105

I like how this shit starts out with “fucking” and “goddamn” every other sentence because that’s how dudebro makes himself heard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 05:36 AM
75

Yes, “there’s that” is a fucking irritating phrase. Like we’re supposed to accept his lame ass logic because shrugs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 04:16 PM
32

Yeah I don’t understand the pickmes who go on to waste even more time writing walls of text to tell NVMs how wrong they are and all the useless drivel that the men don’t even care to read. My PickMe friend claims it’s for her own closure, but it is still very cringey and delusional on her part.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 06:32 AM
14

Agree. What the mum is teaching is an extremist mentality where the daughter is expected to passively receive. Some LVM will also go to the end of the earth for you... at first. And when the girl is trapped by marriage he will start to show his true colours. Also, it’s just crappy generalising that everything is set in stone from the start.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 09:11 PM
32

My take on this hot mess is that she got her rocks off not from pharma bro himself but the attention she got from being associated with him. The way she described herself as being like a politician’s wife etc. She sounds mentally ill.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 06:56 PM
5

I’ve been there. Therapy has helped me improve the amount of time I spend being angry. Everyone is wired differently, but what worked for me was examining why I feel angry. For instance, I felt mad at myself for being naive, and at him for deceiving me. My therapist pointed out that I couldn’t be mad at myself for being dumb if someone is going out of their way to deceive me. And that there are many reasons why he had to be an ass, but I don’t have to waste time figuring it out. She also told me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 08:58 PM
4

Yeah the way OP insisted this guy “seemed perfect” and is successful after ONE dinner date is a major problem. She is just looking at the very very superficial surface, instead of vetting them pragmatically. Research isn’t just some casual Googling for his LinkedIn profile. HVM will ignore her because they know she isn’t looking deep. And there’s no shortcut for successful dating — if you have no time for thorough vetting, you shouldn’t be complaining about running into walls.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 10:06 PM
9

I have been in a bad place where it feels like nothing helps. Not sure how recent is your breakup, but sometimes you really just need to let time put some distance between yourself and the immediate pain. Even just trying to get by one day at a time is good enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 05:42 AM
3

Yes that’s very true. I’m glad your friends are reasonable about it — I was just a little worried about being a bad friend for drawing that line.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 10:08 AM
5

I do agree friends shouldn’t be treated as therapists. Will distance myself a little from this. Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 10:08 AM
9

I have a hardcore PickMe friend who has been texting me after midnight to complain about her NV cheating ex. She has rejected my and our friends’ common sense advice to go NC, and engages with that NVM again and again, but is somehow still surprised when she’s metaphorically bitch slapped by his shitty actions. I’m just very tired of her drama at this point (I usually get insomnia after listening to her latest self-induced mess), though I really want to be a supportive friend. How should I put a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 06:36 PM
7

Honestly without looking too deeply I was indeed a little envious, but after being on FDS I went a step further to examine how he really treats her and it was just eye-opening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 02:58 PM
33

Couldn’t sleep and started thinking about all sorts of things, including my friend who just got married to a guy she thought she was only going to have a one-night stand with. It made me wonder if I made a mistake in dismissing a former fuck buddy — my personal take is that nothing good ever comes out of a relationship that starts with casual sex, though it ended up in marriage for my friend. Then I remembered all the times I witnessed her now-husband treating her shabbily and how she just puts …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 07:10 PM
29

Along with his cheap ass paper gifts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 07:36 PM
113

He’s either cheap or deluded about his shitty gifts. Likely both.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 05:59 PM
250

Or cut a piece of newspaper in the vague shape of a PS5.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 05:58 PM
14

It’s very sad when I see this happening to women, especially the ones I know. They end up overcompensating so much and ironically attract the awful guys who saw there was a buffet of attention and blind faith to swoop down on. And the most frustrating thing is that these pickmes are firmly rooted in the cool girl delusion and will fend off anyone who try to tell them otherwise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 06:22 PM
7

Oh I see. I was wondering if I should download it to see what the hype is about but in this case I’ll give the content a miss lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 03:59 PM
24

I thought so, that it’s an attention grab/fishing for compliments but also wanted to clarify in case it’s something about TikTok culture I don’t get lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 03:49 PM
52

Off-topic but... I’m not on TikTok and wondering why people post videos of themselves preening and mouthing something with random text placed over the screen? I have seen so many of such videos and feel confused.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 02:03 PM
12

So she made the decision to have unprotected sex with a LVM and then talk about the tragedy of falling pregnant? It’s really hard to keep up with Grimes’ logic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 09:57 PM
151

I haven’t thought about it like this before, but this is extremely accurate. Their self-loathing is so overwhelming it spills over to me, and they try to make me feel as miserable as them. Nah, fuck that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 06:50 PM
30

I had almost the exact same conversation with my friend whose BDSM relationship with her boyfriend ended with him repeatedly cheating on her. She refused to believe that it was doomed from the start and thought he could change as “people should be given chances”. It’s just so... gosh. I wouldn’t touch that shit with a pole even if he was the last man on earth. It was frustrating to listen to her deluded talk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 06:46 PM
10

Yes, when I was younger I would hang around hoping they would change. But age made me not so naive. Better alone and peaceful than attached and miserable and begging like a pauper for crumbs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 05:55 PM
30

Amen to this. It took me years to understand I didn’t have to continually ‘demand’ for decent treatment and respect, and have the NVM say I’m naggy or stressing him out which makes me feel even worse. Now I just walk away and conserve my time and energy. Such people are not worth the drama, even if they swear to change.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 05:49 PM
12

I guess this is true to a large extent but I have also met someone who acted this way but was a LVM in other ways (asking me to split a bill when the date didn’t go well, subtly trying to get me to his place to have sex etc).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 04:44 PM
4

Yeah I’m tired of some naive posts here gushing about a ‘HVM’ and proceeds to describe some utterly mundane thing or suspiciously extravagant gesture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 06:02 PM
3

I sometimes treat my male colleagues to meals or coffee as goodwill/a thank you for helping me at work. I also offered to take turns paying on dates and the guy accepted. At that time I didn’t realise I was a cool girl, but after coming here I discovered why I always had that strange thought that these men didn’t think I was all that date-able and took me for granted. They were generally LVMs, but it didn’t help that I was being too accommodating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 05:52 PM
17

For a while I thought like that, but it’s a real waste of time, energy and expensive makeup to get dressed up for a shabby guy who doesn’t give a shit about the date or appreciate the effort. I will never date guys like that again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 03:42 PM
7

I don’t know man. Don’t you have to address/ look directly at a specific person to ask for her number? How does he even pivot the conversation to the other girl without looking like a complete loser? Scrotes’ fantasies be getting more and more deluded.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 03:30 PM
25

Yes, this. The equivalent of why turn down a free Prada dress? Except it’s a human woman with feelings and needs and a biological clock. Then men get away with wasting years of women’s time while they prance off to sow their oats elsewhere. Never, ever chase a guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 02:59 PM
82

Just the cheating alone makes him low value. It doesn’t matter how much of a HVM he is in other aspects of his life. That’s just who he is in front of people. What he does behind their backs determines his character.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 06:24 PM
2

That’s a very good point you made! I didn’t really examine why I ‘needed’ physical fulfillment, but will give exercising a shot. Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 02:16 PM
4

I love massages, but in this regard it’s the sexual kind of human physical contact I miss, which can only be provided by another person. Without casual sex, it seems like DIY is the only option. But yes it’s really not worth it to cave in and get a fuck buddy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 06:27 PM
6

I agree. Sometimes I just crave for physical touch. It’s tough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 04:06 PM
13

I’m chronically single (am fine, just doesn’t socialise enough to really meet people). But I do have physical needs, DIY doesn’t cut it and fuck buddies are problematic. Single ladies, how do you take care of your sexual needs while being single?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 03:10 PM
13

I have close friends who are hardcore PickMes, one gave me absolutely terrible advice that really screwed me over in a situation with a LVM. There’s definitely a part of me that is not pleased with her, but this may be an unpopular opinion: I take more responsibility for heeding her bad advice, obviously because at that time it made sense to me. From a friendship perspective, she tried her best to help me. Of course this excludes the ‘friends’ who just push their PickMe agenda so everyone can be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 08:57 PM
27

Yeah this is some real PickMe shit. Heal a guy? I’m not in the medical field. There’s no healing unless the guy himself wants to change and actively takes responsibility to improve his shortcomings. Women shouldn’t be the ‘activator’ of change, or take pride in taking on this burden. When I’m disappointed about a guy not appreciating me, it’s naturally comforting to think “Ha! It’s your loss, I could have done so much for you.” But it’s much higher level to not even gloat about the “could have”.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 08:28 PM
4

This is the best and most reasonable advice. I was one of those prickly people who wore my gnarliness like a badge of honour, until I matured and realised it was pure bad manners/ selfishness to inflict that kind of attitude on people. Turning guys off was just an incidental side effect of being a shitty person. Being smiley, happy and softer isn’t a weakness. Take care of your holistic well-being for your own sake. I love to curse, but I’m selective about who I show my true self to. It’s just g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 08:14 PM
53

Yeah the worst is when ugly guys get a confidence boost from landing you and start acting like they’re the shit. Like, gosh I’m so desirable better go cover myself in bitches now. I’ve learnt to suss out such people who subtly dial back their ‘niceness’ the moment I reciprocate. I’m not their free motivational coach.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 07:54 PM
84

Yes this has been posted before and I had said the same thing: do not be naive and start congratulating yourself that you’ve found a HVM at the very first perk (that girl was even gushing about the books being hardcover, seriously). Anyone can buy books. She can buy herself hArdCoVer books. To fall for this on the very first date without stopping to critically assess his actions and intentions is low-value behaviour. For someone who claims to read a lot, Sara really needs to start processing inf…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 07:45 PM
20

Not familiar with her music but read about her behaviour and instantly disliked her. Incidentally, discovering Britney Spears’ ‘Criminal’ on Spotify was a whole new level of horrifying for me. It’s a song about telling her mother that she’s irrationally in love with a criminal who has her name tattooed on him. Wtf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 07:28 PM
56

Matched with this guy who looked pleasant in his photos and had a nondescript profile. He requested my number after a while and I gave it to him (where I’m from there isn’t really any major safety concerns even with OLD guys). He called me but I ignored it because I was on a work trip and tired. I told him I couldn’t talk, but could text. He started giving me a lecture on how he’s “not going to hide behind a screen being a keyboard warrior” and that if I’m just going to text, we’re not a good ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 07:23 PM
26

I even laugh when I’m lying in bed, in the dark at night, when I think about how this guy who assumed I was a walkover got all surprised Pikachu face when I dropped him for being disrespectful. Ladies if you find it hard to walk away, picture yourself being trapped in this burning car wreck of a man. Then decide if you want to burn in eternity or escape.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 06:53 PM
21

I have always been told I was too aggressive. Whether be it calling someone out for their bullshit, insisting (but not demanding) on doing something my way because I believe it’s the best way, and not suffering any fools. If I made a mistake in judgment I do not hesitate to apologise and accept another point of view, but people always remember sHe wAnTed hEr wAy sO agGresSiVe. The older I get the more I start to feel comfortable about asserting myself, even if people in my culture think I should…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 05:45 PM
9

Yes I used to be someone who needed closure to move on, but looking back it was more like I just wanted more chances to salvage a shitty relationship. I could have saved a lot of grief and pain by being honest with myself about that. But it’s never too late to learn. Sometimes immediately disengaging and saving time and heartache is already the best form of closure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 01:30 AM
40

There’s a part of me that’s disturbed about how guys like this are “waiting for someone he really wants”. And I wonder what that ‘someone’ is like — what makes that woman different from the rest he had strung along? My personal opinion is that they tend to ‘settle down’ with someone who can offer them more benefits than the rest, but he will always be on the lookout for the next woman he can use.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 06:12 AM
23

I’ve been in the exact same situation as you, down to the hot but lame fuck buddy who disrespected me. And yes, we girls absolutely have a sixth sense when it comes to such people (I like to think of it as innate self-preservation). But it’s easy to get swept up in their hype when they’re perfect on paper. Now I’m training myself to see past the glittery exterior and hold them accountable for their shitty traits. It’s like buying a house that looks great on the outside and crappy beyond repair o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 05:06 AM
2

Good reminder, actually. I haven’t thought of it like this before. When I get compliments I just automatically say thanks and feel good about them, without really processing the implications. Could have avoided a NVM if I had known this earlier, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 06:19 PM
15

“My countless cards declaring mine were seldom reciprocated.” This is just sad. She’s so utterly deluded and that scrub took advantage of that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 06:16 PM
19

Ah, thanks for this enlightening explanation. I went out with a ‘genuine interest’ category guy who turned out to be scum, so I guess some bottom feeders are evolving and realising that women are on to their love bombing, and pretend to be all respectful to hoodwink them. Do not be deceived sisters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 07:07 PM
24

How do you tell the difference between genuine interest and love bombing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 05:13 PM
12

In a healthy relationship it’s mutual support, whether be it earning the income or maintaining the household. They each have their own role. I don’t agree with how some people choose to skew contributions, like one gender must be the greater contributor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 12:37 PM
1

I grew up with a HVM father and a mother who’s the opposite of a pickme - I in fact felt my dad was too good to put up with her insane ego and entitled behaviour (and yes, it is possible to go totally overboard with that kind of ‘better than you’ mentality, and turn into a narcissistic bully). What it did was start a cycle of harsh childhoods, unreasonable expectations for men and a deep but unexpressed desire to be loved that’s hidden behind a layer of rampant aggression. I like certain aspects…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 12:40 PM
55

Yes I think the pertinent issue about the friendship here is not about her views on certain things, but that as a friend, she has a serious lack of empathy and would rather push her agenda than back off and try to understand the other party’s point of view. Regardless of gender, that makes her a shitty friend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 12:26 PM
4

I’m now at the forgiving stage and struggling, ha. I’ve done everything right but still feel really bad inside and blaming myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 03:54 PM
2

Oh that’s very true. That self-discipline is very important. I was so absorbed in vetting that I didn’t realise my heart was floating away, and I was furious with myself for developing feels. But I’m going to be nicer to myself and do better :) Thanks for helping me level up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 05:49 PM
3

Oh, that’s such a wonderful way. It’s good to remove myself from the situation and assess it as a third party too. Thanks for teaching me this :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 05:31 PM
2

Yes that’s very true. My sense of guilt makes me act a little slower, though my reaction time has improved and I can toss ‘em quick and far now. But I do still feel sad afterwards even though the guy ain’t shit. How do you walk away still emotionally intact?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 05:30 PM
6

It’s something I’m fine-tuning recently. How do you give guys enough of a chance without compromising on the red flags?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 03:44 PM
1

Hi, thanks for sharing. Yes that is something really enlightening you have pointed out. While I’ve gotten better at tossing out scrubs quickly, I struggle to deal with the sadness and fatigue inside alone, even though I know I ‘dodged a bullet’. So I’m also grateful to you for pointing out that it’s a good thing they reveal themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 03:38 AM
5

I’m never nervous on dates, but I once went out with a guy where it was literally painful to be around him. I couldn’t chew/swallow properly, my body was tense and my brain froze. He noticed it and told me to relax. I just couldn’t. He was perfect on paper, but there was just something terribly wrong in the air that I couldn’t put my finger on. He turned out to be an ass, so that was my answer. Another guy I went out with was also very eligible and super attentive, but again I felt very off. I d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 09:04 AM
14

How do you queens recover from the disappointment and negativity that NVMs bring into your life?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 12:10 PM
5

If your anxiety is about having to deal with people, especially difficult ones, maybe try telling yourself that people are NOT scrutinising you as hard as you think they are. Everyone is self-absorbed. So whatever you do, most likely nobody even noticed enough to judge you for it. Also remind yourself that this is just a job. Whatever happens at your workplace doesn’t reflect anything about yourself as a person. So go forth and prosper, and decompress and treat yourself well after work!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 11:31 AM
109

Me too. But I’m aware it’s likely because I wanted a relationship, not the guy himself, and I’m mourning for the loss of what could have been. Substitute the scrub for anybody and you might still feel as crappy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 02:22 PM
38

Really hate it when I think a guy is shy/socially awkward and he turns out to be Satan with a hidden plan.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 02:52 AM
3

Yes I feel like some people here go overboard with their “no sis you gotta buck up” tough advice, but I do acknowledge it comes from a place of love. This being the internet and unregulated territory, there are bound to be people without the necessary EQ offering their advice to people who function better with some tact, empathy and patience. I wish this sub could recognise that not everyone benefits from tough love, and that ‘pickmes’ being defensive are frustrating but probably just stuck in a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 06:03 PM
5

I feel so personally attacked by this but in the best way lol. Thanks for the wake up call.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 05:56 PM
21

Yeah he probably thought of this comeback after four days and decided to post it because his weak ass ego still felt hurt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 04:53 PM
8

Don’t worry. I’m not exactly that young, but I’m like that too. I don’t want to offer unqualified personal advice being in the same situation, but I’ve been through this with my therapist. She told me if I start to have a lot of doubt about a guy, it doesn’t matter whether he’s indeed a wolf or you’re just overthinking. If you’re unsure, it just means you’re not that attracted to him. And you don’t have to fret or persuade yourself otherwise. Acknowledging that I can be not-attracted to people r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 04:54 PM
6

I think the timing at which this comes up matters. At the start when everyone is just getting to know each other, being mopey may seem too heavy. It’s just an unnecessary evil to talk about more lighthearted things till it’s time to get heavy. The true test is when you’ve been together for some time and they still don’t want to hear about your bad day. That’s just a selfish and unsupportive partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 04:47 PM
5

Yeah I have seen some posts praising a HVM in the title, and read it only to realise they just did a nicer-than-average favour. And the OP just naively falls on it as the one defining proof that they have encountered a HVM and starts gushing. This instance is not about high valuing. The guy probably just really wanted to get rid of it and doesn’t mind transporting it over and setting it up. It’s a nice gesture, but really hardly HV. I hope this didn’t make impressionable people think this is ext…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 06:32 PM
9

I’m usually blasé about celebrity deaths but I found myself crying all day when I thought about Chadwick Boseman. He does seem like such a great guy and it makes me cry harder to think of all the LVM and NVM wasting space and air on this earth while the good die young.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 07:30 PM
2

I’ve never had to ask that question... but maybe he just wants to be work friends ha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 05:49 PM
1

I feel uneasy all the time, and actively look for reasons not to like someone. So sometimes I wonder if I’m too critical. But thank you all for being here for me 🙂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 05:49 PM
2

Thanks, I guess I will let it flow naturally first
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 05:48 PM
3

Consider what you spent monetarily a ‘tuition fee’ for learning a valuable lesson. You didn’t spend in vain — all this had to happen for you to get to where you are today. Read up on sunken cost fallacy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 09:08 PM
6

Ha, so happy for you and proud of your strength. I once got that “relationship/casual” line too, and thought it was reasonable for a guy to be unsure in the early days. But after finding FDS I realised it was such a rubbishy, deliberately vague carrot bait response.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 09:03 PM
8

Hey sisters, am hoping to get some valued opinions here. Met someone attractive through work lately and he floated the idea of grabbing a meal together to “get to know each other better”. Nothing concrete has been planned. I wonder if there’s interest on his part but we have only been professionally/distantly polite to each other so far, and do not chat about anything personal outside of work. He has been getting more informal in how he approaches me, but I find myself nitpicking the potential y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 08:39 PM
3

Yeah the magic shutdown word is “maybe”. He upped his game because such people usually lowball to see if they could get away with it. It doesn’t mean he suddenly values you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 08:15 PM
2

It’s natural to have those awkward moments when you start a new job. It’s like buying a pair of new shoes, you need time to break them in to get comfortable. And it’s a two-way process where everyone is sussing each other and getting a feel of your personality/likes/dislikes and gradually forming a bond. Be patient and be (sincerely) friendly. The ice age will pass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 08:11 PM
17

Stopped responding as in... he blue-ticked you? If he just ghosted you after you said you don’t cook, you should probably take yourself out to a restaurant to celebrate with a meal that’s not cooked by you. Even the trash in your life took itself out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 08:04 PM
0

Hilarious. She took his words at face value about something so depraved and serious AFTER being betrayed and was genuinely surprised when nothing has changed after they got married. Now she wants to whine and cry and get Internet sympathy for her delusion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 07:26 PM
17

Why does he look like the complete stereotype of a scumbag
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 08:26 PM
7

Probably felt damn proud he sat down and had a good think about what he wants and is now the pinnacle of values.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 08:12 PM
16

Such edgy idiots usually think they’re being so alpha and assertive in “cutting out bullshit” but even expired meat has more value than them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 08:10 PM
3

Just have to point out that the woman is facepalming herself like she can’t believe this shit either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 07:25 PM
8

About why he’s suddenly so open with this shit — he’s likely hoping to catch a closet pickme who’d feel like “wow, you know me so well, you see me as an eQuaL” and proceed to lower her standards to match his faux alpha depravity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 02:23 PM
11

Nah this is a perfect trap for the pickmes who will proceed to engage with him to ‘prove that women are likeable’.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 06:42 PM
28

He hasn’t changed his ways since his 20s, when he slept with an underaged Lori Mattix then cast her aside for Bebe Buell. From a profile piece of Lori Mattix on Thrillist: “We really didn’t do much besides go to parties in LA; other than that, Jimmy never took me anywhere amazing. We just sequestered ourselves in the hotel room. I stayed loyal. My whole life was about waiting for Jimmy. I tried going to high school, but I couldn’t concentrate. And after Jimmy Page and David Bowie, what was I goi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 06:35 PM
44

The excuse of Jamal Bernstien can be used every Christmas.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 09:06 PM
4

It’s usually a result of poor upbringing and nobody giving them a high five to the face with a chair when they talk shit. This is why they think their dickishness is adorable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 06:42 PM
16

She just had to get hurt a second time to confirm that the cactus pricks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 07:01 PM
16

When these men start out at the top, the only way to go after that is down. Some of them stop making the effort after they snag their target. Everyone is afraid of getting hurt and everyone is observing one another. Women who melt at the first sight of a designer bag or vacation didn’t stop to think if they’re also a HVW who brings something to the table besides their presence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 06:37 PM
71

No you’re not being a pickmeisha. That’s called having common sense and not being superficially blown away by dramatic pursuing tactics. Not all grand gestures are HV, and not all guys who’re willing to splurge are HVM either. I’ve seen people in this sub who believe only costly moves are ‘sincere’, and guys who don’t lavish them with fine stuff are ‘NVM’. They post it here as the gospel truth. It’s too much generalising and misplaced emphasis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 06:18 PM
2

The compliment was so effusive and smooth, it sounds like the guy has had experience laying it on thick for a while.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 08:56 PM
29

Some fuckboys do specially go for such pickmes because they’re easy to manipulate. And the fuckboys are usually so emotionally damaged that they don’t even know what ‘dating’ means. This post is a little harsh in the assumption that if a girl meets a fuckboy, gets strung along and doesn’t get ‘chosen’, means there’s something intrinsically wrong with her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 08:49 PM
3

Oh yes, I think people have a misconception about what Korean guys are like because of K-dramas and K-pop, but the reality is quite different. I’m not really into K-wave entertainment, so I was able to perceive him based on who he truly is. It’s a shame, though. He looked impeccable (Korean men’s grooming skills are unparalleled), but his behaviour was quite ugly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 04:34 AM
2

Haha I like your energy! Yes I’ve no idea why they act like that (and I believe there are exceptional cases), but maybe they just feel like they’re not responsible for being a basic decent human being. Anyhoo, I didn’t think it was my job to ‘fix’ him or convince him to change, so I just got the hell out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 02:30 AM
8

Can attest. I dated a Korean guy for a short while and he was absolutely NVM (negative value). He got drunk on a date that he sloppily planned and told me I was “too smart” for him, had a small dick and only got his own rocks off, and was a compulsive liar. The lack of respect was the worst I’ve ever encountered, and he didn’t even pretend to hide his NV ways. I dropped him real quick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 09:19 PM
5

Yeah OP comes across as naive at the very least and at worst, also a drama queen (your body is dirty and you want to throw up? Come on now). What those guys said was disgusting, but your boyfriend believes you and you had good intentions, so just take the high road and dismiss them as jerks who needlessly sexualised your actions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 09:06 PM
17

Yep, and then he told people he rejected me. I believe I reaped so many karma points from dealing with that charity case.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 08:04 PM
8

I think Shakespeare here needs spelling classes instead of a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 09:10 PM
4

The Brock Turner special is still being served these days.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 06:42 PM
2

Ah, then that’s different and he should be called out for his laziness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 05:37 AM
2

I really couldn’t focus on what she’s saying. Her fried hair and crazy expressions are really distracting. Have some self-respect ffs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 04:01 PM
16

He thinks his sarcasm is witty humour and shit but he literally looks like something someone stepped on a dirty pavement on a rainy day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 06:15 PM
7

“I’m bout to be so pissed”. First of all, idiot can’t even write “about” properly, and secondly he can call the waaaambulance to go cry to his mum for this major inconvenience. How dare someone not give me what I demand! The nerve of this entitled scrote. And women have to change their numbers and go through all the trouble just to avoid shitstains like him. Call the police on him for threatening you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 11:07 PM
13

I don’t even know her but I felt so bad that she achieved success on her own merit, and had to renounce it because of a scrote who couldn’t handle being overshadowed. He assaulted her, and had the nerve to plead not guilty in court. I suspect she retracted her police report due to family pressure (likely from his side). Sad to say, she was probably forced to drop this or face an even worser fate. I don’t think it will be the last time he beats her to feed his own ego.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 08:12 PM
5

They’re Malaysian-Indians — their culture is quite different from Middle Eastern people, but there’s rampant misogyny too. In India, some women get killed for ‘shaming’ their family when they out their POS abusive husbands.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 08:09 PM
3

To add to the story above: the husband was charged in court for assault but pleaded not guilty to the charges when his wife withdrew her police report.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 08:07 PM
49

Has anyone tried pretending to have no idea what these men are asking for? I have feigned ignorance and deliberately looked vague, like I didn’t have the mental capacity to understand what they were trying to say. Pretending to have hearing problems works too. “Can I have your number?” “Huh, what?” “Can I have your number?” - dumb stare and long pause while I look like my brain was still loading - “Er...” Usually they get so frustrated they just fuck right off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 04:57 PM
15

Whoa. Thanks for the enlightening explanation. It makes a lot of sense. Younger me couldn’t understand why Mr Big refused to commit to Carrie but married a random standoffish woman within a few months of the breakup.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 07:49 PM
62

I don’t understand how and why tf they can get attached in two weeks though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 05:07 PM
3

In my culture we say “ugly people are always up to no good”. Talking about physical unattractiveness here. It’s mean until people realise it has some truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 04:34 PM
2

Thanks for this! Will be heeding what you say :-)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 06:33 PM
3

Thanks for your advice — you’re right. I have a clearer idea of how to deal with this now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 06:33 PM
4

It sounds so condescending, like he’s shushing a child and asking them to take on the burden of show and tell instead. Overall, iffy af. That said, I’m not sure how you were asking questions but there’s a possibility you might come across as interrogating him. It really depends on the context.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 04:07 PM
11

To me it’s really simple. Just be present mentally and emotionally during the date, and show your appreciation (saying thank you and that you appreciate his effort). I don’t think there’s a need to be effusively grateful but maybe think of it like, how would you react if someone, anyone did something nice for you? That should be an appropriate reaction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 04:04 PM
11

This is not really dating-related per se, but it has been bothering me. A guy friend who has been very flattering to me so far (calling me ‘pretty’, ‘smart’ etc) etc recently started negging me. He would say things like “you’re cute, but you need to exercise”, or that he thought I looked so different in a photo after not meeting for months. He joked, “Who’s that guy?” (I don’t even look masculine). I got pretty defensive and he played it off by saying he couldn’t see clearly without his glasses …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 04:00 PM
6

If the situation was turned, the girl would have been vilified for ‘leading him on’ and ‘playing games’. It’s sad how guys get the freedom to be indecisive and oH hE wAs jUsT unSuRe and taking it slow, and she even considered the possibility that this is true with all the pickmes in the comments egging her on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 02:23 PM
6

Um guys I read that post and didn’t really think much about it except it was a weird turn of events. Just couldn’t put my finger on why it seemed strange. But. OMG. THIS. That’s what is off!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 02:08 PM
18

Considering her profile pic is of her wearing a whole Sephora’s worth of makeup, what she’s saying and how she presents herself seems pretty contradictory. And that’s why she’s a classic attention-seeking pickme.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 07:05 PM
30

It’s self-preservation. I have been on dates with a guy who did everything right, but there was something that just felt very off and iffy about him. Your gut instinct perceives the situation more clearly than your brain, which could be in denial.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 10:48 PM
7

Real specific kink to want a Caucasian woman to bare his children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 06:42 PM
15

Would a pig enjoy fine-dining? It’s beyond their limited mental capacity to do so.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 12:04 AM
8

Thinks his personali-tis is adorable but comes off cringey and lame. Puke.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 09:18 PM
1

If you have no interest in furthering the conversation, don’t give patronising responses that indicate interest and act like you’re somebody people are dying to talk to. She could also be thinking you’re boring as fuck and trying her best to drag crappy responses along.
/r/seduction26/05/20 06:54 PM
8

What you’re doing now is drinking poison hoping your ex will die. You’ve already wasted time and energy ruminating over him, save what’s left for yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 11:26 PM
7

What you said is true. Thanks for pointing out a more compassionate perspective, I see it now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 08:38 AM
20

I don’t know... He’s definitely a gross LVM but his first wife wrote like she wasn’t personally responsible for making the decision to marry him. She had been starstruck by his wealth too (he gave me his credit card to buy books! I love books! Hurr durr) and she lost her sense of self in her marriage with him. The fact that Grimes wore a Tesla choker in her first public outing with him (while the other two exes dyed their hair blonde to suit his preferences) keep reinforcing his disgusting ‘I’m …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 04:01 PM
30

The Tesla choker around her neck says it all. But she’s also a pretentious pickmeisha who dug her own grave with her whole snowflake act.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 03:45 PM
3

When the wound is still fresh and raw it’s hard for you to do anything that reminds you of getting hurt. But be patient, let time do its job. The bad association will slowly fade and you will build new memories that you can happily link to your hobby.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 08:15 PM
15

Had a doctor send me a phone photo of a letter upgrading him to a suite at the Shangri-La, like it was supposed to impress me. Bitch I can afford that myself without a free upgrade. Gross even without the innuendo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 08:38 PM
6

Er the scumbag LVM cheated on her so why should she be the one to leave a video game AND breakfast for him, then go through the inconvenience of changing her phone number and social media accounts, and switching to a new job just to ghost him, all in the assumption that he would see the error of his ways and regret his actions? How is this empowering when she had to do all the work even on her way out? And no, he wouldn’t see how good he got in the past five years or he wouldn’t have cheated on …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 05:03 PM
7

The only time my resting bitch face scowl is useful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 02:10 PM
4

The kind who’d neg women to attract their attention. PsYcHoLoGy 101
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 05:24 PM
27

I went out with a guy who proactively planned the first date, but when we were discussing about the second date and I said I would leave the planning to him, he complained about the pressure too. For a long time I felt guilty about pressuring him, but on hindsight he was just a low-effort bro.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 05:15 PM
7

This is not just limited to dating, but my CBT therapist once told me that people behave badly because “they are broken”. It made me stop wondering why they treat me appallingly. The truth is that they are probably incapable of treating others with decency and respect, but whatever reason it is, it’s not my problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 09:53 PM
48

I’ve had the misfortune of meeting a few clowns like this. What I’ve observed is that these men usually spring for the conventional, extravagant gestures of romance, like a nice dinner or making a show out of opening doors for you. But they are sloppy in the little details, be it the way he puts his hand on my waist to guide me out the door, or being too eager to get me back to his place. Be alert and observe what he’s saying and what’s happening around you (don’t be swept away by his ‘romantic’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 11:08 PM
1

I did that once on a first date, and the objective was to spend some time with the other party while giving the both of us a chance to wrap things up without any awkwardness if we’re not feeling the vibe. If we got along well, what’s to stop us from arranging a second date? But now that I stop to think about how it would make the other person feel, it doesn’t seem like a great decision. I could always just make up an excuse and go if I’m not feeling it.
/r/seduction24/02/20 10:52 PM
10

The initial days of trying to pick yourself up from being disappointed really suck. I’ve been there. Just focus on getting through each day, and the pain will fade in time to come. It always does.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 10:22 PM
4

Are they that stupid to believe we were born yesterday?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 07:47 PM
6

My first boyfriend said all of the aforementioned, while another guy told me, “In my culture, people sleep with each other first before they decide if they should get serious about the relationship.” Seems legit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 05:51 PM
12

“Unless I plan on marrying her”. Wow, so it’s a reward for being stuck with this insufferable fool. Death sounds more pleasant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 06:33 PM
1

OP and the guy didn’t know each other very well. It would not be unreasonable for him to think she flaked out, since so much planning went into the date. It’s still not cool that he reacted badly to the cancellation, but I’m just saying it’s an understandable response and hardly a case of abuse red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 07:26 PM
14

A part of me is curious about her next response but something tells me it will probably induce a brain aneurysm. She needs some FDS and he needs a high five to his face with a chair.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 03:58 PM
12

Why is she so... chill about getting chlamydia (the smiling emoji). And not even mad at the guy? I’m really confused.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 05:59 PM
10

Thanks for taking time out to write all this. It’s really enlightening and I will be enforcing that in my own dating life too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 06:36 PM
5

Genuine question: why do some girls get the short end of the stick like OP while others become girlfriends and wives?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 06:22 PM
17

Got plenty of guys like that from my OLD experience. Some of them throw in a “we won’t know what will happen in the future so I’m just taking it one step at a time”. Trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 06:13 PM
77

Sometimes it makes me sad that I might never be someone a guy would look at for 10 minutes and think “she’s the one”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 07:17 PM
3

There are a million reasons why he pulled this shit, but that’s his problem. You have been brave and gave this your best shot and it’s meant to be that your efforts aren’t wasted on this LVM who doesn’t even walk his talk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/19 06:46 PM
29

I once met a guy from OLD who was happy to pay for our dates, but immediately asked to split the bill at the first sign of my disinterest. What a tool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/19 08:21 PM
31

Like so many people here have told you, no contact is the best way to wean yourself off a fuckboy. Out of sight, out of mind. And he can’t pop back up like some unwelcome jack-in-the-box to disrupt your life. I’ve been there and here’s how I did it: Remove him from the pedestal I put him on. If I still think highly/fondly of him, I get sentimental and I’ll never move on. Every time you find yourself starting to rationalise his shitty behaviour, literally stop and tell yourself he’s not a good pe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/19 06:02 PM
6

So instead of working on not saying wrong remarks or making off jokes, you just conveniently blame women for being fickle?
/r/seduction04/11/19 05:59 PM
5

Text you every six weeks? Even periods are more regular than this dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/19 02:01 PM
4

It depends at what point in the timeline he says this. If you just met and have only been on a couple of dates, it’s pretty fair for him to have some reservations about rushing in. He’s cautiously assessing you, as much as you are assessing him. But if the both of you have already been intimate, or known each other for some time, drop this scrub. He’s just waffling around and wasting your time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/19 01:57 PM
62

I do all of the above, but secretly carry the hurt in my heart for being treated like shit. It’s hard not to become jaded meeting jerk after jerk my whole life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/19 11:06 PM
7

Guy A pinned me down on the ground and forced his lips on mine when I wouldn’t kiss him. He joked about raping me and passed me $50 for “letting him touch me”. I was too young and scared to punch the living daylights out of him like I should. Guy B got drunk on our first date. He kept asking if I could finish my beer. I said I could, and was legit enjoying the last bits of it when he snatched my glass and downed the whole thing himself. What in hell... Guy C was too broke to have a proper dinner…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/19 10:50 PM
7

Sometimes you really literally need to do nothing but wait for the other party to make a move. Sit on your hands if you have to. I realised guys often follow our cues - if we take the initiative all the time, they will just go with the flow and the crappy ones will become lazy and entitled.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/19 10:25 PM
134

How do you eliminate feelings? It’s not like a tap that can be turned off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/19 10:11 PM
0

There’s no counter. Don’t assume she wants sex just because she was touchy with you.
/r/seduction21/10/19 08:22 PM
13

Went on a first date with a guy who proceeded to drink too much, get tipsy, and tell me: “You’re smart. You can see through the kind of person I am.” I wasn’t smart, because I really didn’t expect him to text me the same night to tell me he wasn’t looking for a serious relationship, only a casual one. I suppose his honesty is better than those guys who pretended they wanted a relationship just to get in my pants. But it still hurt because I liked him more than he liked me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/19 05:42 PM
4

Yes I’m by nature very competitive. And couldn’t believe he ‘chose’ someone over me. Thanks for pointing it out. Will keep your words in mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/19 03:30 PM
2

Thanks for sharing. Hang in there!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/19 03:28 PM
11

This is very true. But I still have no idea how to deal with the awful feeling of not being good enough. I feel upset thinking about why he could be in a relationship with another girl, but not me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/19 11:21 AM
2

Good luck!
/r/seduction13/10/19 05:46 PM
5

I had a brief affair with a friend who was getting married. I liked him as a teenager and confessed how I felt but he rejected me till I gave up. 15 years later, he convinced me to sleep with him. I asked him, “Why me?” And he replied, “Because you’re here.” It was an eye-opener for me. About why the guys you date all turn out to be attached - you might want to consider how you choose and screen the dudes you go out with. It’s not a coincidence that they’re all cheaters. You need to be vigilant …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 03:39 PM
2

Sign up for classes (you at least pick up a new skill even if you don’t find anyone there), do volunteer work, and keep a lookout in your daily interactions with people. Sometimes it may be that lady you keep bumping into at Starbucks. Maybe say something like “I don’t mean to alarm you, but I keep seeing you around here and thought it’s only polite to say hi and introduce myself.” A bar setting may sometimes be difficult because you will have a lot of ‘competition’ from guys who are also there …
/r/seduction13/10/19 03:30 AM
10

Other than the usual basic manners, basic grooming and basic respect for you and others, a high value man is also one who’s humble, with a teachable heart. Maybe he doesn’t have a great dress sense, but he’s humble enough to recognise he needs work in that area, and genuinely wants to improve on his shortcomings so he can be a better person and better partner. It’s not solely about pleasing or impressing you; he is always striving to be the best version of himself. It’s really hard to find guys …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/19 07:39 PM
6

Breakups are difficult and awkward. You just have to pretend as best as you can that things are normal. Being a good ‘actress’ is a valuable skill.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/19 07:34 PM
7

If you need the closure and are sure he’s not going to freak out on you, I don’t see any harm in telling him politely that you don’t think the both of you should see each other anymore. But if there’s a possibility he will react badly, just drift away and let this run its natural course.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/19 07:17 PM
2

My opinion is that don’t hide the fact that you’re a dad, but don’t start the night by declaring you have a kid either. If all goes well on the date, there’s bound to be an opportunity at the end of the night where you can tell her you enjoy her company and would like her to know upfront that you have a daughter before you two go any further. The fact that she’s on a date with you already means she finds you attractive, so just show up and let your natural personality shine.
/r/seduction12/10/19 07:02 PM
9

The one and only Valentine’s Day I experienced in my life went like this. Ex spent all his money on a new fancy pair of shoes the night before V Day, then tells me he can’t afford to eat anywhere pricier than a food court. Proceeds to show off his shoes to me while telling me proudly where his money went. After dinner, we got into an argument about something and he said he wanted to go look for our female friend to talk about his issues. He advises me to head home because “I also need to rest ea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/19 04:38 PM
64

Wow. I totally need to hear this. Been feeling terrible for so many years because guys always treat me like shit despite my best efforts. It felt like I was being punished for being a loving person. So thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/19 04:16 PM
2

It seems like you just keep skidding over the surface because you’re afraid to go deeper with someone. A good therapist can help you sort this out.
/r/seduction09/10/19 09:44 PM
1

Yup I do!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/19 08:30 PM
2

Haha I’ve fixed it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/19 08:19 PM
8

Could you elaborate more on how to do that? Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/19 08:12 PM
5

Oh, this is embarrassing. I don’t know how to use the Reddit app on my phone very well and didn’t realise it was all in bold.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/19 08:09 PM
4

How am I being aggressive by being busy? I’m genuinely curious to know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/19 07:16 PM
25

Being a busy person does make men want to pursue me more, but only because they like the thrill of being able to ‘win’ some of my time. Other than that, they had not been any more serious or sincere about a relationship than the typical clowns.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/19 06:20 PM
4

I was in your exact situation just a few weeks ago. It’s tough sometimes to embrace our self-worth, but at the very least we all deserve to be healthy and not be jerked around by scrubs who couldn’t even care for themselves, much less us. A good therapist really helps. Wishing you love!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/19 04:21 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter