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haybay727 Archive

View 0 posts and 173 comments by haybay727 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

No
/r/ExRedPill07/11/23 11:53 PM
3

you are not ex red pill then
/r/ExRedPill04/11/23 12:56 PM
5

You said you see no point in talking to them if they aren’t sucking you off. Meaning you see them as valueless unless they’re being used sexually. And yet you see value in talking with men. You do not view men and women as equally valuable or equally human.
/r/ExRedPill04/11/23 07:23 AM
9

Yes. You wish you could talk to men and have friendships with them because you see them as people. You see no value in talking to women unless they’ll sleep with you because you do not view them as people. It’s a messed up way to see things.
/r/ExRedPill04/11/23 06:39 AM
5

The way you’ve talked about women in this thread has made me feel gross, and I haven’t met you. If you truly view women this way they will be able to sense it. You can’t hate someone and expect them not to notice. You need to address your own issues.
/r/ExRedPill04/11/23 06:35 AM
1

I once had two guys come out at the same time to help me clean the snow/ice off my car. They got oddly competitive about it, trying to do more/faster etc. They both asked me out at various times. Not sure that counts but it came to mind.
/r/ExRedPill31/10/23 01:38 AM
10

Andrew Tate is not married. He had 10 children by various women he has never been married to. Myron from F&F is 35 and has never had a serious relationship. Fresh has a “sugar baby” he met on a sugar baby dating site. He pays for her attention. Tate has made his money by overseeing cam girls. He’s been indicted for trafficking and abusing these women. He’s also been accused of rape and is under investigation for money laundering. These men are fools, and yes, very perverted imo. They pay fame-hu…
/r/ExRedPill29/10/23 06:04 AM
6

I once saw Andrew Tate talk about texting women. He said something to the effect of, don’t text too often, if it doesn’t seem like she’s responding she isn’t into you and you should move on, bc you should be with someone who is excited to be with you. That’s all great (if basic) advice. The problem is that he also says things like “women are stupid, “women aren’t sentient,” they have “no value beyond attractiveness,” “here’s how to trick them,” etc. The dating advice is fine but you can find it …
/r/ExRedPill25/04/23 05:00 AM
4

I liked reading through your processing here. As people often say, “toxic masculinity hurts men too.” Red-pillers say women only want the material things men can provide them, that they don’t or can’t love men. Why would being with a woman who only wants what you can give her be appealing? What a sad existence. I think you’re right about the emotional maturity thing. There is a reason rp ideology targets young men. I’m glad that you had the realization that if men are being misunderstood/misrepr…
/r/ExRedPill17/04/23 02:13 PM
3

That’s what I’d like to know
/r/ExRedPill30/03/23 01:26 PM
2

What rules have changed?
/r/ExRedPill30/03/23 10:26 AM
18

First, I think it’s really admirable that you’re evaluating why you have the beliefs you have. Not a lot of people do that. It’s the best step toward personal growth, imo. Second, I think it’s totally fine to want a future partner who has a similar level of sexual experience. You can learn together, you likely have similar values, etc. Your line about being afraid of falling in love with someone and then learning their body count does give me pause. You said you would feel hurt because of experi…
/r/ExRedPill28/03/23 01:29 AM
–

Hmm, interesting (I didn’t realize this.) Well… as long as people aren’t hurting anyone else it’s none of my business.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/23 01:31 PM
3

People can be so weird, projecting their own issues in others. I’m sorry people are dumb like that, but I’m so glad you’ve been able to get therapy and are in a good place now!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/23 04:24 PM
1

Body count is 2, and I’m married so hoping that never changes. I also never had a guy ask, except when I was really young and it was like a “have you ever?” kind of question. Honestly I think the preoccupation with it is kinda weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/23 04:17 PM
3

I’m so sorry your family wasn’t there for you when you needed it. I hope you’re in a better place now!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/23 04:05 PM
6

Yes… yes they are. To all those. Dafuq?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/23 11:42 AM
7

It’s funny, because I feel that women can’t win. No matter what we do or don’t do we’re demonized and treated as less-than.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/23 09:00 AM
2

I’ve heard guys say showers are relaxing. I’m in there shaving 2/3 of my body… it’s kind of a lot of work when I’m tired!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/23 01:00 AM
33

Some defensive men responding to you, but this is exactly what the manosphere tells men they should want. When they don’t get it (because it’s not reality) men who trust the manosphere gurus are angry and bitter. They think other men are getting all these things and they are being denied. Not all men, guys. Just men who ascribe to that mindset, k?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/23 07:08 PM
2

Women don’t take sex for granted. Some women can’t or don’t have sex for years and are fine. Saying men can’t afford to take sex for granted makes it sound like a necessity. It simply isn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 06:01 PM
7

Ooh. Well put yes. When I’ve had a crush on someone I’ll sometimes wonder what he smells like, or I’ll imagine kissing or hugging him, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/23 12:28 AM
1

Hmm… I would probably think, “He’s kind of cute.” If I talked to him and he was friendly and or funny/charming that would be the next thing I notice. Guys kind of light up when they think you’re pretty… when that’s not there I just assume there’s no chemistry and move on. Guys who are standoffish or rude off the bat make me think they’re not interested and wouldn’t be nice to me even if we did date—and their cuteness kind of dissipates for me. Money isn’t really a part of initial attraction for …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/23 12:26 AM
2

Thanks JD xoxo
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/23 05:46 AM
5

I agree, this is has to be a troll.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/23 05:45 AM
3

I’ve never watched porn but I’ve always assumed the thrill is knowing an actual person was involved in some way. Similar to the reason people want nudes from someone they’re seeing, or why people send unsolicited pics to strangers—whether mutual or for shock value, knowing another person is involved makes it hot. Would graphics hold the same allure? Maybe so, I don’t know.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/23 08:56 AM
13

Oh thank goodness! Seeing as I commented I’m still in the running.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/23 08:26 AM
0

Hmm… That’s quite the claim. I have thoughts but without researching my evidence would be purely anecdotal.;)
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/23 08:18 AM
34

It’s a curious post. From your accusatory tone it seems an invitation to debate. Yet you’ve guarded yourself by preemptively calling potential disagreement both irrational and solipsistic. You’ve created a catch-22 for any would-be engagers: Either we agree with you or we are, by your parameters, selfish and illogical. Reductio ad absurdum? Simple trolling? Either way, an interesting social experiment.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/23 08:14 AM
2

I’d be interested to see you explain that first sentence more.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/23 03:56 AM
1

I took a couple of days to think about this. Thank you. I agree, the majority of people probably aren’t what we would consider “intelligent” (at least 50% are at or below average, right?) Some of these discussions don’t impact me directly. I avoid gyms, don’t have a TikTok, etc. I think it’s the injustice, or… misrepresentation that bothers me. Most people, men and women, are just doing their best. I hate seeing the actions of one (or a few) demonizes/stigmatizes an entire group. I see stupid yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 10:50 PM
1

The people who don’t want to see it never will, unfortunately. It would mean confronting their actions.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 10:40 PM
1

“I refuse to date people who drink. In fact. I won’t date anyone who has EVER had a drink of alcohol, because then they’d be tainted. I, of course, do drink. Always have. But that’s different.”
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 10:40 PM
1

Except they are advocating for women with higher body counts to be treated as inferior. Maybe not to the extent of being stoned in the street, but that’s not the only metric. Saying someone is “lower value” because of sexual history… and spreading/promoting that belief… and saying it’s different for guys, that guys with high body counts are actually higher value and “deserve” women with lower body counts… is a perpetuating a double standard. This double-standard is harmful. People are allowed to…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 10:35 PM
2

Exactly. People are scrambling on here to say it’s not hypocrisy. Amusing (if a little disheartening)
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 10:08 PM
1

Please, enlighten me
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 10:06 PM
4

I mean… it is hypocrisy. It’s not like you’re staring a preference for hair color or interests. You’re setting a preference for a person who’s lived by a specific traditional value—one that you won’t be living by. You’re saying low body count matters—but only for your partner. You can do whatever you want. It’s similar to being a fat person and saying anyone you date must be thin. Like, ok. No one’s stopping you from wanting that. If you can find someone willing to work on staying thin for you, …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 01:50 AM
2

Women may have an easier time finding men willing to have sex with them (in theory) but not an easier time finding men willing to be in a relationship with them (aka a “mate.”) Ugly men could find ugly women who would be willing to sleep with them, but those men don’t want to. They want the pretty, not overweight girl next door. Additionally—Once a couple is together together the man us usually the one holding the cards on whether the relationship “progresses.”
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 12:50 AM
1

No idea
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/23 06:45 PM
1

Thank you ❤️
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/23 06:44 PM
2

Their “no” line is lower for sex, but I’d argue not for relationships
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/23 12:16 AM
0

Of course there are some women who judge all me by the actions of a few. There are always going to be people like that, in any group. That’s who you want to be?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 08:51 PM
4

You worded this very well. I keep thinking “if I can just explain it to these guys in the right way they’ll understand” but I’m beginning to think it’s hopeless.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 08:49 PM
8

I guess we’ll never truly know since we can’t stand in each other’s shoes. I am at least willing to believe that both men and women have difficulties in dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 10:32 AM
4

Why you gotta throw the “especially women” in there every time? I bend over backwards never to say any “all men bad” stuff in this sun but you guys keep generalizing us. Come on now. Women have always been good planners, it’s kind of a stereotype.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 08:37 AM
4

I mean. I can give you some specific examples if you’d like. Age 16: a 20 year old who waited tables with me asked me out every time I worked with him. He was fairly attractive. Taller than me with dark hair. I remember he was kind of built. But he said things like, “I would drink your bath water.” I was a sheltered kid and my parents didn’t even let me date. I think I’d kissed maybe one boy at that point. This man seemed really old to me and he was on some kind of prison release program. I said…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 08:16 AM
-2

Women aren’t only attacked when alone on the street at night. And yes, it seems only logical to me to err on the side of safety, rather than giving the benefit of the doubt to a stranger (even if it turns out he’s an innocent man.) The fact is that women are trained to be nice, not to seem rude, to try to “let guys down easy.” A lot of murder victims feel uncomfortable but tell themselves it’s their imagination. I think that’s beginning to change, women are realizing that they don’t have to sacr…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 07:35 AM
1

This is a joke, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 05:26 AM
4

The definition of “high” is all over the place in this discussion. Someone else said 30 is whatever and 100-200 is high.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 05:22 AM
4

There are all kinds of idiots online doing all kinds of things. Assuming those TikTok’s are a good representation of women or of real life is just a recipe for unhappiness for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 05:11 AM
5

What do you consider a “high body count” then
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 05:06 AM
13

… or they were dating to establish their likes and dislikes? Don’t men do that too?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 04:55 AM
0

Believe what you wish. I’m a woman and I’m trying to help, but I have no real stake so carry on.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 04:44 AM
30

I don’t think women are higher beings, I just think we’re human beings. Doesn’t feel like a lot of men see us as that tbh. I never said one form of attraction was better or worse, I was trying to explain why women don’t have some “easy mode” of dating. It’s hard for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 04:41 AM
3

That was one 21 year old content creator. She was rightly called our and apologized. You’re going to judge all women by this one incident? Should I judge all men by the video that went viral the week before? Of a married man hitting on a girl at the gym?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 04:31 AM
6

A frat party is not a good gauge of society as a whole. It’s rich, very social and often attractive people in a bubble. I went to ONE frat party in college and was so creeped out I never returned.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 04:28 AM
3

Creep = I don’t feel safe around this person. I’ve absolutely been creeped out by conventionally attractive guys. You know that comic that gets shared around, the hot guy hitting on the woman at work and she loves it, the normal guy saying “hi” and she reports him to HR? No. That’s not how creepiness works. It’s just a vibe dude. Women have some physical disadvantages. Just accept we may have to rely on a sixth sense sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 04:25 AM
1

I didn’t have a “casual phase” myself but imo it makes sense that people would date to figure out the qualities they want in a future partner. It’s not like the future partner is the leftovers, more like the one who’s the best fit for them. You sound like you think a woman is stealing something from her future partner by dating before him. Unless you’re into celibacy until marriage and want a partner who’s waiting like you are—I can understand that. But otherwise it’s probably better for both pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 04:05 AM
1

Most women aren’t looking for one night stands. You act like all women are up for it if just the right “Chad” comes along. If a woman is looking for casual sex then yeah, attractive guys stand a better chance. Attractive women stand a better chance. That’s just life. “As long as he’s not a weirdo yes, even tonight” isn’t really the usual, tho.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 04:00 AM
34

This is why I get so confused when men are angry at women for having “limitless option” or somehow having “life on easy mode.” Women are out here trying to find a real connections—while at the same time trying to guard themselves against the guys who act like they like them but are thinking, “Meh, good enough to fuck.” Not much of an advantage imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 03:44 AM
7

Agreed. Great post explaining attraction for (most) women.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 03:39 AM
1

Honestly… women just want to be with men they like. I imagine most women marry men they’re attracted to. The issue is that “physical desire on sight alone” doesn’t last long for women. That’s the infatuation stage of a relationship. Women are eager for physical stuff, guys are giving lots of attention and making more romantic gestures. Expecting these butterflies to last will leave you disappointed. Once that stage is done and life starts—you have bills, kids, aging parents, a mortgage—you need …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 03:35 AM
2

Believe it or not, women are that way too. Most of the men I’ve been attracted to weren’t model-esque or super rich or whatever. Their personalities were attractive to me. My husband made me laugh, we wanted the same things. We enjoyed talking and being together.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/23 03:03 AM
0

Yes to all of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/23 07:25 PM
3

There aren’t that many, there are 4 that come to mind (and a possible fourth)—Elliot r0gers, that guy who’ve killed people with a van in Canada, the guy who shot up massage places, and the 22 year old British guy who killed his mom and like 5 neighbors before unaliving himself. That’s a statistically a low number, but still. I’m also concerned about the hateful language and revenge fantasies in “those” forums. “Foids aren’t human,” FGM as a punishment for women, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/23 08:19 AM
16

I don’t think women are better than men. I think “single cat ladies” do not pose the same physical threat as the “incel guys” bc one group wants to be single while the other wants to harm people.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/23 07:52 AM
6

You act like women are products on a shelf… or that all teenagers of the past were hot virgins. Neither is true my friend. I will agree—men had it easier than women did.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/23 06:28 AM
21

I think a lot of men misunderstand just how important attraction is for women—and exactly what attraction is for us. Sex is extremely vulnerable for us. Most hetero sex involves penetration. Maybe crass to say but if you’ve never been there you won’t fully understand. If we are not “into it” it’s physically uncomfortable and can even be painful. And if you’re not into it your mind is like… trying not to recoil. Even when you are into it you’re still doing it with someone who is stronger than you…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/23 06:22 AM
3

Imo those are the immature preferences of youth. My husband has hair on his big toes and I absolutely could not care less. But when I was 16-18 that may have been something I would say bc I was immature. On a different note—hygiene is HUGE. A guy with untrimmed nails, dandruff, etc can be a quick turn off for women and it’s hard to undo that. Being clean and well-groomed goes a looooong way.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/23 06:01 AM
11

Idk, you don’t really see single women mass sh00ters
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/23 05:53 AM
7

Becoming a mom is such a complicated experience. You’re flooded with hormones intended to bond you to your baby. You’re in intense “mom” mode. It’s very hard to switch from nursing your baby to letting your husband play with your boobs. Buy for the husband, the boobs are out and he’s thinking about sex. I wish it wasn’t so hard for couples but it can be.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/23 05:51 AM
16

Exactly. Men say that women are too picky but I believe men are just as picky and don’t realize it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/23 05:47 AM
8

I’m a woman and I’ve also only been asked twice… and I think it was after I asked first out of curiosity. It’s not something I’ve encountered much irl, seems more like an online thing tbh
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/23 05:37 AM
4

I think this is a pretty mature perspective in that you’re not looking to hurt anyone and you’re very up-front. You’ve found a way to get what you want without hurting people, so kudos to you. Incidentally it sounds like you enjoy sex way more than I do. “Transcendental” isn’t the word I’d use lol. And if I did experience something like that with someone I can’t imagine being like “see ya!” But then I’m a woman so… your point stands I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/23 11:31 PM
3

Probably wouldn’t bother me if it was in the past. Unless it was under sketchy circumstances, like extreme poverty, underage, etc (taking advantage of someone). But like an escort? Not a huge deal to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/23 11:17 PM
11

This is a great comparison. Women of the past also had lots of options when it came to sex… as long as they were ok with no strings attached, reputation-ruining sex that would likely destine them for ostracism/poverty. It wasn’t a “privilege” that women had “options to have sexual.” It was more like a threat. Men still had the upper hand bc they could have nsa sex without a lot of consequences (usually, setting aside syphilis of bad luck in picking a girl with connections who could make you marr…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/23 01:26 AM
3

Dating apps have skewed everyone’s thinking. I don’t think I’ve ever dated a man with any of those things. I’m with my partner now bc he made me laugh and was fun to be around.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/23 03:07 PM
1

Yes! It frustrates me that some people can’t see this. My guess is they see men’s preferences as logical and women’s preferences are unfair.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/23 02:45 PM
2

This preoccupation with height is so interesting. Tall women face some challenges just like short men do. It’s just one of many factors though. Most women care way more about personality than height or inches or whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/23 02:42 PM
1

I think it has to do with the communities you’re in. When I was in hs/college most of my friends either weren’t sleeping with guys or only sleeping with their long-term boyfriends. We were focused on school/scholarships/hanging out with friends. I’m guessing sororities were different but that wasn’t my thing, and they were in the minority. Most of our “parties” were pretty chill, just hanging out. Maybe a bonfire. The 20s-30s somethings I know now are doing the same. I’ve been to a lot of bachel…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/23 03:52 PM
2

He’s posted videos (and there are secretly recorded transcripts) of him talking about his scheme. Makes a young woman (usually a teenager from a poor country/area) think he is in love with them and wants to marry them. Gets them to fly to Romania then tells them they’re actually going to work for him. If/when they do work for him he tells them they will share the profits 50/50 but tells them he has to take ~20% for “taxes” and has them sign fake tax documents and keeps the money. In the video wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/23 05:37 AM
1

Hearing sex described that way makes me want to vomit Ngl
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 08:03 PM
7

I feel like you’re getting a lot of this from movies. Most people who like to travel aren’t doing it to be sex tourists—they’re doing it to travel and see the world. I’ve been all over the world and sex with a foreign stranger was not something I even thought of. The way some of y’all describe women, like we’re carnal goblins skittering about the countryside…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 07:53 PM
2

I think what feels “off” is that it’s devalues morality. Ex. “Values alignment isn’t important, only status/looks.” It’s basically saying what you believe about right and wrong, your faith, justice, generosity, etc. None of that matters. Might makes right. Appearances are the most important. Or the example of taking a friend’s girlfriend. What about loyalty, commitment, even friendship? Cold approach—this one can be fine but saying it’s the best kind of approach just makes me think of men who de…
/r/ExRedPill05/02/23 05:37 AM
3

Yeah. One of the reasons these discussions are so hard. We all leave feeling frustrated.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/23 06:56 AM
2

I don’t think a man is “responsible.” But if a man never satisfies his partner sexually then he’s probably not a very good or considerate partner. (I’d feel the same way about a woman who finished and left her partner before he cums. Kind of inconsiderate.) There are women who have never been able to orgasm and still continue having sex with their partners (out of love, duty, etc.) I don’t like the description of men “using women’s bodies” to get off. It’s kind of dehumanizing. And in all but th…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/23 06:42 AM
4

I disagree, life is not in women’s favor. Even if we stick with just the sexual example—men are almost guaranteed to orgasm every time they have sex. Women often don’t. How could not being satisfied be an advantage?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/23 06:36 AM
20

This is a great example. It’s hard to have these discussions and not feel defensive, especially when OP says women have “no unique skills.” To say women only cook and clean and men only lift heavy things and work on cars is devaluing to everyone. There are people who are good public speakers, nurses, lawyers, researchers, musicians, electricians, architects, writers, chefs…so many different skills out there, each held by both men and women. The hardest part of these debates is being told I’m wor…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/23 06:27 AM
–

Maybe it depends on where you grew up. I was belittled so much I was shocked when boys started liking me as a teenager. As far as how easy sex is… I’ve never had casual sex so I don’t know.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/23 12:27 AM
–

Don’t give up sex at first blush? Does that mean not ruling a guy out? I don’t personally believe in casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/23 12:26 AM
8

Being healthy is good, yes. I’m just saying it’s not the only quality that makes a good partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 07:41 AM
8

That’s probably where the difference lies. Women don’t want to do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 07:40 AM
3

80/20?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 07:39 AM
6

I agree that social media standards have made things hard for everyone. When people used to live in a village with 50-100 people we probably had different expectations for each other. I think there is something about women’s experience during sex that men just can’t relate to. It takes so much vulnerability to allow someone into your actual body, there has to be some level of connection for us. We’d rather do without then force it… not sure it’s that way for guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 07:27 AM
9

Tbf mid men pine for women out of their league too. I mean, it’s the reason OF exists. But even if mid women are pining for chads, who are they hurting? Live and let live ya know
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 07:22 AM
5

Ok, fair enough. I thought you were attacking me
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 06:41 AM
12

Sigh. I was giving examples. The point is the most attractive partners—men and women—are people who work on themselves. Exercise, sure, but things like… learning to cook or learning financial responsibility or being involved in a local church… lots of things are good. I don’t understand why you’re convinced that women don’t invest in things that matter. I’m sure some women invest in things that don’t matter to you buy other women do things you value.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 06:36 AM
6

Sure, I would say it does that for everyone. Not good to base life decisions on curated/edited photos of others.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 06:32 AM
7

I think it’s totally fine for men to have preferences and to find some things more attractive than others. Personally the only time I feel weird about a guy’s preferences is when he says something like, “women lose value after age 19,” bc that’s pretty dehumanizing… and staying 19 forever isn’t an option. Though that would be nice I suppose. If people have told you you’re misogynistic for finding certain kinds of hair or body types more attractive then that was wrong of them to say. The word def…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 06:30 AM
8

Ok. Well forget college then. My point was that women spend a lot of time investing in themselves. Men do too. If someone isn’t—man or woman—then yeah, they won’t make a good partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 06:26 AM
3

I don’t understand what this means
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 06:24 AM
8

Hmm… I feel like that is the message. That a woman doesn’t find someone attractive bc her standards are too high. Idk, it’s either there or it’s not. You can’t force liking someone. Even someone who’s right on paper can just not do it for you. And I feel like there is tons of hostility to single women these days! Though maybe that’s my view bc I’m online a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 06:24 AM
0

I was with you until the end. Ad hominem attacks kind of detract from your argument, friend. Maybe you’re speaking to a different situation than I am. I’ve never been into romantic comedy “love at first sight” stuff. That’s all bunk. It’s always taken me a little while to get to know someone before I know if I’m attracted to them. I just know as a woman there were guys that wanted to date me and I didn’t bc I knew I could never, ever enjoy being physical with them. Not because they weren’t “chad…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 06:21 AM
14

Many women do run and did sit-ups... I am a little concerned for you tho if the only way you’re investing in yourself is by going to the gym. Don’t get me wrong, that’s great and all but you need to take care of yourself. Forget dating even, just in life! I’m not sure why you started talking about racism, but whatevs
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 06:13 AM
11

It seems your only metrics for improving oneself are going to the gym and approaching strangers. Those are not the only way to improve… As mentioned above dieting, makeup, hair care, removing the hair from our entire bodies… those all take a lot of effort and money. But beyond that—women make up a greater percentage of university students. Women have a higher likelihood of seeking therapy. We volunteer, read, learn new languages, work on spiritual development. All those things improve who we are…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 05:43 AM
8

Thank you
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 05:38 AM
4

Or maybe she just chooses to stay single. A lot of women would rather just not dare than dare men she doesn’t like.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 05:32 AM
15

The thing is, women are also painted in caricature. We hear about stuck up girls who demand no less than “6 ft, 6 inches, 6 figures” but those are extreme examples. Most women are not like that—they simply want a person they are attracted to end enjoy spending time with. I can appreciate being open to people you might not have considered. But lowering one’s standards (as in, giving up on finding a partner you’re attracted to) isn’t “for their own good.” It’s a recipe for unhappiness. I know you …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 05:29 AM
10

I’m sure some women do, but most don’t. A lot of women are just trying to find someone they click with. Trust me, we have lots of insecurities. We just don’t want to be with someone we don’t like. I hear frequently that women’s standards are too high and they won’t give nice guys a chance. Isn’t the implication that they should “lower their standards” and give the guys they won’t give a chance (don’t find attractive) a chance?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 05:18 AM
1

It’s difficult bc for women (or maybe just for me) there are so many things that get in the way of the desire for sex. If I’m tired, hungry, stressed, sad, angry, feeling ugly, distracted, hormonal, in postpartum, in “mom mode”… any of those things will just turn my sex drive right off. I also grew up in purity culture so sex almost always leaves me with a feelings of shame and sadness. It’s like a huge drain on my battery. I’m guessing it’s not the same for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 01:08 AM
4

I didn’t sleep with my husband before we were married but I can confirm that most of the fun of sex for me is thrill of it and the validation. I guess being wanted. The longer you’ve been together the less you feel those things. It’s more comfortable but less thrilling. I have sex w my husband pretty frequently bc I love him, but I do it mostly for him.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 12:59 AM
1

You probably would have enjoyed marriages of the past. They were usually based on transaction rather than love.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/23 09:13 AM
1

Sounds like you’re a pretty straightforward person
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 03:01 PM
2

Ok, that’s fair. I understand why you said that now.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 03:00 PM
1

Well that’s good! I guess we could say that takes a stab at male intelligence, too… Or we could just accept that there are stupid or reckless people of both genders. Doesn’t apply to either as a whole.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 02:47 PM
1

Conflict may be kind of a strong word... I’m not really a fighter and I’ve managed to learn them. But yes, learning your partner takes time, especially when what they need is different from what you need. I think some of the things on your list come more naturally to women than others (learning love languages, having friends, etc.) but everything’s going to depend on the individuals involved. I think the biggest issue today is the respect thing. A lot of modern women are used to having to hold t…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 02:43 PM
1

Well sure, if you’re not getting the romantic displays of affection it’s not much of a relationship… but it also sounds kind of sad to have one that’s purely transactional. Like a business deal. 😅
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 01:59 PM
4

Geez why do you hate women so much?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 06:15 AM
2

This is really sweet
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 06:11 AM
3

This is really interesting. It makes sense… men seem to be fairly “simple” in relationships with women in that they only really want a few things—but they really want those few things. -Be his cheerleader (encourage him in private and respect him in public) -Be pleasant (the person he can relax and let his guard down with) -Be feminine (can look different depending on the person but just be softer and prettier than he is lol) -Have enthusiastic sex with him (took me years to realize just how imp…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 06:10 AM
1

I think they do, it just comes with maturity and time together. It takes some time to realize your partner doesn’t process things the way you do, and both sides will make mistakes. But years of adjusting and forgiving lead to a lot of these in my experience. (Although I do still struggle with assuming what my husband is thinking sometimes.)
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 05:57 AM
1

So you don’t want to have a friendship or intellectual exchange with your partner? It’s purely sexual/transactional and you get your relational needs met elsewhere? Genuine question.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 05:51 AM
1

I’m sure you feel the same way about all those men who abandoned their children to those single mothers /s
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 05:49 AM
3

Humans don’t look at relationships and say “I’m going to reward this person because they’re deserving.” People are just attracted to who they’re attracted to. And as far as being the gatekeepers of sex, no woman is thinking of it that way. There’s a lot of pressure on women to not sleep around, to not get pregnant, etc. They also tend to like an emotional connection and relationships more. That may lead women to being more cautious sexually, sure. But men are often more hesitant to commit to a r…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 05:25 AM
4

No one is excusing or lauding her bad decisions. She’s actually getting a lot of hate and judgement. I do think that being a single parent is probably really hard and to do it well requires a lot of sacrifice. I would think the same about a single dad—good for him for doing what he has to. That’s not lauding him for being a single dad, just for taking responsibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 05:00 AM
5

Until she fully repays society?? What is your problem man.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 04:55 AM
25

Because he hates women and single moms are more vulnerable
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 04:53 AM
0

Everyone grows and matures. Men have the internet and parents to teach them and still make mistakes when they’re young (such as starting heroin and not being there for their children). I swear, single moms get so much hate when in reality they’re the parent who stayed. Smh
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 04:51 AM
1

It’s about being allowed to exist without harassment/discrimination and about rejecting diet culture and all that. No one is thinking that men will suddenly find fat women attractive. Tho as with most movements, there are always people in it for the wrong reasons. ETA I’m not looking to be defensive or to argue, promise. I have a friend involved and followed a podcast for a while. There’s a lot more to it than just being considered attractive. One of the biggest is medical care. I could go on bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 07:27 AM
1

I know leaving a relationship is a hard decision. I would just be honest with him. It seems your views have diverged and you want different things now. Best to talk to him about this now than waiting until you’re married or worse, pregnant. If this is just a phase maybe realizing the consequences of such views will make him reconsider… I don’t know. But time apart at least seems like the best/safest option. Good luck!
/r/ExRedPill26/01/23 06:43 AM
2

Body positivity isn’t about forcing men to find fat women attractive. That’s not the point at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 06:32 AM
1

I’m not fat but I’ve suffered in our diet-obsessed culture my entire life. Anything that fights that is good imo. Doesn’t really have to do with competition. It’s not like it’s changing the number of fat people out there. It’s just (hopefully) helping them to find more acceptance and justice (especially in the area of medical care).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 06:31 AM
3

As a woman I don’t see it quite the same way. If a guy is respectful and backs off when told to then yeah, he’s not going to sleep with her bc she’s saying no. That’s the way it should be. The alternative would be harassment, you know? She’s not saying no bc he’s respectful but bc she’s not interested. (And he’s still being respectful bc he’s a decent person.) As far as a-holes—a guy being disrespectful was never a turn on for me. I wasn’t looking for a “bad guy” just someone I was attracted to.…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 05:50 AM
4

I’m guessing the answer is “no” 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/23 04:13 AM
2

I’ll be honest, that’s reassuring. I hope you’re right.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/23 03:25 AM
2

Good hygiene is the make or break. A hot guy with bad breath is no bueno. An average guy is who is clean and well-dresses and takes care of himself can be very attractive. If I had to say an ideal body type—trim and in shape but not too muscular (think soccer player vs body builder). But “type” can vary. A charming smile (fun/boyish, you feel like he and you are in on a joke together) Full hair is nice but if not a clean, neat haircut (not an insecure style trying to hide balding) Taller than me…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/23 01:02 AM
2

So?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/23 12:50 AM
2

This is a great point. She often says the things that the sound like something she thinks bitter men might want to hear. She says fathers shouldn’t have to pay child support because “women shouldn’t be rewarded for bad behavior.” This statement contains no nuance. What if a married man abandons his wife and children? The mother may now technically be a single mother but not bc of sleeping around or “bad behavior.” And while child support laws are very inconsistent and often unfair to men that do…
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/23 09:48 AM
–

Yes. Our culture is very dismissive of male pain and invalidating of male vulnerability. There are a lot of men suffering. Regarding your list—I can only speak for myself but I don’t laugh at miserable men. I don’t call them losers or tell them they have bad personalities or “small dick energy.” The only times I push back are when men are aggressive or insulting from the start. Saying women are evil or illogical, saying things were better when women had fewer rights, etc. (Or when men are being …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/23 11:05 PM
–

I would like to give you what you want. I can’t genuinely say one is easier since I’ve only lived through my experience, and my experience as a woman has been really hard. But I will agree that right now men seem to be searching for what it means to be a good man (and a good partner) in today’s world. Strength, toxicity, vulnerability, intimacy, family… all of those things are tricky and there isn’t one clear road map for men. I’d say women have been working on finding our modern identity for a …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/23 08:14 PM
6

Maybe women are attracted to different things than you are. Attractiveness is subjective, after all. I’ve heard men admire guys who work out a lot and are really jacked. They might consider those guys attractive. But for a lot of women that jacked look isn’t attractive. Women aren’t conspiring to gaslight all the men.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/23 09:18 AM
4

ETA: Looks like you don’t believe there is a difference between a structure and a person’s body. So how about this—Should someone be pressured to let a homeless person move into their home and sleep in one of the bedrooms with a family member(s)? That would feel invasive, no? People shouldn’t be expected to harm themselves to give to someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/23 08:14 AM
1

Thank you! It’s nice to hear a man acknowledge the problem without attacking women. And yes, they would run away if we did that. Damned if we do, damned if we don’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/23 08:13 AM
4

It would also be self-destructive on the women’s parts if they were to easily sleep with anyone, any time. You think they call us all sluts now…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/23 07:57 AM
-6

Listen, I have a lot of empathy for you! I value men and none of us (women) want half the population to be miserable. I believe there is genuine pain involved in all this. But us having sex with a bunch of random men wouldn’t help anything. This is an interpersonal-connection issue, probably due to how online and isolated we all are. This isn’t a problem with women! It’s a problem with society. It’s also a scarcity issue—lots of men are waiting to get married but want children. That means men of…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/23 07:54 AM
1

Sex is easy for attractive women in their 20s to get (though not necessarily w/ someone they like). Most adult men 18-80 are pursuing that demo. For the rest of women relationships are as difficult as they are for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/23 01:53 AM
1

I dunno. Sex is different for women I guess. Or maybe just for me. I do understand it’s important to men.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/23 08:57 PM
1

Well yes, I am a woman so it’s by definition something a woman would say. But I think there are men who’d say it too, don’t you think? People like different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/23 03:24 AM
0

That’s wild to me. I’ve never heard a woman say that but most of my friends are married so ¯_(ツ)_/¯
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/23 02:15 AM
4

That’s really interesting, thank you for the insight!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 06:44 PM
2

I’m sorry you’re having a tough time. Not my intention to contribute to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 04:04 PM
1

TD;LR You think that sex is a resource, one where men bring value and women don’t (even though women are literally the ones who produce the offspring, one might consider that a “contribution,” but I digress.) Younger women with fewer partners have more dating options, the rest of women don’t. Ok, we know this. Men are picky and don’t respect or value most women. What I don’t understand is that with all these “stats” and ways in which women apparently “lose value” and “bring nothing” to the table…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 04:00 PM
1

Meh. I’ve gone years at a time with no sex and been fine. There are simply things I enjoy more. It’s not a biological need for individuals (for the species, yes, but enough people are having kids that part is irrelevant.)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 03:48 PM
0

It’s not a lie. I wear makeup when I’m home by myself. I dress up and do my hair/makeup when I’m going to a house with only female friends. When I go to the store I try to wear baggy clothes hoping I go unnoticed. I’m not looking for a partner. Men do the same thing—men who go to the gym a lot and are into lifting don’t do it to attract women, they do it for the approval of other men.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 03:45 PM
1

I answered some of this in my previous response to you, but based on everything you’re saying it sounds like men are the more selective gender. Body count, age, physical attractiveness—when they’re pickier they’re going to have a harder time finding a partner. If men are increasingly looking at marriage as “what do I get out of this” then they should be happy that more women are choosing to be single/celibate. I will say, it’s hard to want to have a good-faith discussion when you say women are “…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 03:39 PM
3

I have a question for you… Do you think redpill is strictly a male thing? Could a woman become redpilled? Ex—An engaged man once dm’d me asking if I was “sure” I didn’t want to date him. Seemed duplicitous to me… Maybe he just had cold feet idk. Let’s say I had a lot of these experiences and applied them to men in general. Would that be considered redpill? Is it about noticing patterns in reality or mainly about men reclaiming their confidence/clarity?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 08:27 AM
1

Reading some of these replies I wonder if my layman’s (woman’s) view of redpill is accurate. Maybe it just depends on the person and their take on it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 08:14 AM
1

Idk. Women have been talking about the problems with modern dating for a long time. Men are talking about it more now and are angry with us, as if they’re the only ones who struggle. Men are angry with us if we don’t have sex but call us sluts when we do. We’re told our body count defines our value. We should be loyal but not pressure a man to “settle down.” Dating and sex are dangerous for women. Rape, murder, pregnancy, simply being at a physical disadvantage—all things most men don’t have to …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 07:34 AM
0

You say male sexuality is treated by society as worthless. Consider this: when women engage in frequent sexual activity society tends to devalue them as people. They’re labeled as “easy,” or “slutty,” etc. Some men will even go as far as to say a woman’s value decreases with each man she sleeps with. Since this is the case is the ability to find someone willing to have meaningless sex with us really an advantage? Having the sex brings us societal disapproval, and if we don’t enjoy the sex in the…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 06:50 AM
1

Just because they don’t agree with too doesn’t mean they’re dishonest. I’ve never known a woman who said “I could have a boyfriend tonight if I wanted.” I think that’s a rare case.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 06:41 AM
1

Yes! Connection can come in so many forms that are just as—if not more fulfilling than—sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 06:34 AM
2

You’re writing off the experience of half the population. I don’t fully understand the issues men face, but I try. I don’t say they don’t exist. No side has it better, we all struggle. Sure, more men commit suicide but more women attempt suicide. Depression is no respecter of gender. And while there are some girls who have guys “orbiting” them most don’t. Same for men—just because a few men have groupies doesn’t mean all of them do. I think the issue coming through in a lot of these posts is the…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 06:29 AM
0

We’re not trying to twist it to make ourselves the victims, just trying to explain that we don’t have the advantage many men seem to think we do. It makes me sad to see the bitterness men have towards women over something that isn’t really true.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 06:18 AM
2

Bc for most women it’s not about the sex but the connection.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 06:14 AM
0

The problem is there are some women willing to have casual sex with lots of men. But they are devalued by men, called names, etc. If it’s just about making sex more available to men then why is that the case? Also, re: sexual desirability. Sure, no longer being seen as desirable would suck… though I’m not sure when that happens. It doesn’t end at 30, I know that. But most of the things I do to make myself beautiful I do for myself. I know men don’t believe this but it’s true. I take more care wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 06:12 AM
1

The food analogy is flawed. I still don’t see it as a privilege, but I can agree that there seems to be a rise in men who want sex and aren’t getting it. I do wonder if it’s that they can’t get sex or they just can’t get it with the women they want it from/are attracted to… similar to the situation women are in. The difference is that women are ok with just going without while men aren’t. I also think part of all this isn’t really about sex but intimacy. As a woman I have close female friendship…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 05:59 AM
1

That’s kind of an odd perspective to me. I guess if you’re specifically looking for women to bear children being younger has a better chance, but relationships are more than that. Raising said children with an immature person would be a nightmare. I don’t have a dog in this fight—I’m married with kids and just turned 40. But I will say that the older I get the more men seem to hit on me. I’m shy so I try to avoid this—I’ll wear a hoodie, try to blend in, and guys will still try to flirt with me …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 05:45 AM
1

I wouldn’t describe sex as the “best pleasure ever” and if I had meaningless sex with someone I didn’t know/have feelings for there would be no pleasure in it for me at all. It sounds awful. I would definitely pick B (though I wouldn’t starve bc sex isn’t needed for survival). Let me flip things—I’m guess that you, as a man, would stand a better chance of finding someone to sleep with at a gay bar than I would. But does that seem like an advantage to you? If you’re straight I’m guessing you’d ra…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 05:37 AM
1

You just said that most of these encounters have been with women in NYC. That’s a pretty specific demo, even if it’s a big sample from that demo. Re: 50 Shades of Gray (which was pretty vanilla bdsm from what I hear) I think the popularity had more to do with the fantasy of being the object of obsession. It’s a similar theme in most romance novels — “he doesn’t want to fall in love with her but he can’t help it!” etc. If 50 Shades had been about a guy having a bdsm sesh with a virgin and then ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 05:29 AM
2

I guess… except food is a need. I’m fine without sex. I’d rather go without than have casual sex. It’s also hard for me to see something I don’t want as a privilege. For example, I bet a lot of straight men could find gay men willing to sleep with them. As a woman, I could say those straight men have privilege bc those gay men would never have sex with me. But would they? I’m guessing most straight men would rather just not have sex at all. I can understand how feeling undesirable would suck, th…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 05:17 AM
4

Sometimes single women don’t have male friends, or ones who want to date them anyway. Women can be fulfilled with platonic friendships alone, I think that’s the difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 05:08 AM
13

This is a great point. As a single woman I always had close friends I could confide in, celebrate with, and rely on. I had a job—that’s it. My evenings were my own for hobbies, fun, sleep, making food only for myself (how easy is the cleanup from one salad bowl!) I traveled, read. I felt prettier bc I always had time to do my makeup, nails etc and I was able to go home and be “off” for a while. Now someone is always there to see me at my most unglamorous. I enjoy being married but it is so much …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 05:06 AM
19

I’ll be honest—I am an attractive woman but my n-count is less than 5. Casual sex just doesn’t interest me. Sex means nothing to me unless I’m safe, valued and there’s a mutual attraction. Sex with someone who doesn’t care about me is a net negative. I’m honestly tired of men acting like it’s some kind of privilege. Getting my “back blown out” sounds like a threat.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 04:55 AM
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