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View 1 post and 985 comments by hearyoume14 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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14

Question For Menhearyoume14/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 06:51 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

To an extent. Some of us have very high standards as a defense mechanism, and the only outcome is failure. I have seen people change who they are attracted to by working on their issues. Usually they were dealing with multiple abusive relationships before, but after gaining some confidence and healing past wounds, they started to be attracted to healthy partners. Sometimes it does come down to personality issues. Becoming more confident and working on social anxiety can only help. You can only c…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 08:56 PM
2

Exactly, it often becomes a co-dependent mess, and that isn’t healthy for anyone. Especially when they assume you’ll come in and fix it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 05:15 PM
2

Part of it depends on how well you know them, or if they are asking about how things went wrong. I mean, I told someone their face is so terrible that a paper bag wouldn't fix it, so obviously I'm biased. I'm assuming you are talking about women in your life and those who put their business online for everyone to see. Most of the time it isn't helpful because they are either delusional or they know and are ashamed. I've known one woman who had his entire family, the cops, and exes tell her not t…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 06:57 PM
2

There are definitely women who are overly neurotic about tidiness. I know some. A frequent argument in my house is that the other person likes counters and tables completely clear; I prefer to have stuff out because I'm very out-of-sight, out-of-mind. There is no biohazard, no tripping hazard. It is purely functionality and aesthetics.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 07:02 PM
6

I saw this with my parents. My dad was taught by his parents to just split the wash into whites and colors. Until the day she died, my grandma would wash towels with jeans, T-shirts, and other items. My mom has an anxiety disorder, possibly OCD, and she used to really narrow down categories, but has loosened up some. They were also taught to wash dishes, clean, and vacuum differently. I keep seeing people say you should just do it the way the woman wants it done, which is BS. I believe that if y…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 06:50 PM
2

Most people are wallpaper until they aren’t. Generally it takes more than a pretty face for me to notice you. I read somewhere that men’s attraction can be more narrow in scope while a woman’s tends to be more broad. Basically why you hear he’s ass man more often than the female equivalent. It’s also why men tend to have more fetishes than us.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 09:02 PM
5

I live in a community property state, where assets are split 50/50 unless the parties agree otherwise. Any money made during the marriage is considered community property. My mom made double what Dad did at the end of their marriage. She had to give him money from her 401K and IRA. He agreed not to take his part of the house until it’s sold later but has died. Alimony is very limited, and you have to have been married for 30 years or more to get up to 10 years of alimony, and have been married a…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 03:58 PM
–

Hmm. I’ve seen cool approaches work. I’m an ambivert that will 100% talk to a complete stranger so I can’t speak to those with social anxiety. It’s basically starts with them talking to the woman about a mutual interest (One happened at a geek/pop culture store), they either agree to message each other or to grab something to eat/drink to talk more. A bit niche, this is how a couple of cousins met their wives at school, but it sometimes works. As for why people push it. It is so the can say “I t…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 09:03 PM
3

I'm a dirty centrist according to the Political Compass tests, though in practice, I just avoid political things like the plague. This automatically registers as right-wing for leftists and some liberals. Far-right people view me as too liberal. Mostly old-school moderates and apolitical people surround me. My mom is an old school Republican, and my dad was an old school Democrat. I agree that you need to have alignment with your beliefs.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 12:39 AM
1

Fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 06:01 PM
6

This does seem to be a manosphere thing. I’ve heard men say that they wouldn’t date a single mom but it wasn’t a statement of hatred just a fact. Dating a single parent, especially if the child is/children are young, can be complicated.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 05:10 PM
5

So men can’t pull at all can’t have a type? I disagree. Your type is who you are into. That’s what it’s always been. Your league is who you can pull for an LTR. I consider LTRs to be better judges of leagues because men tend to have lower standards and women put more emphasis on attractiveness with ONS/casual partners. Most couples I’ve met have either been well matched or were at least well matched at the beginning. All but two of us millennials, and Gen Zers in my circle are married and all me…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 05:03 PM
–

The only reason I’m not completely invisible is that I talk too much. People didn’t hit on me in my 20s nor do they in 30s.Part of it is because I’m fat and therefore towards the bottom of the pecking order anyway. I find most people to be wallpaper myself so it doesn’t surprise me.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 02:50 PM
–

I’m a fat woman who has only been hit on as a dare and the only reason I’m not totally invisible is that I talk too much. Most people are wallpaper. I don’t notice most people male or female. The biggest issue in my area is the very high rate of obesity. I know people of both sexes who struggle to find a healthy weight partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 08:24 PM
2

Most people are wallpaper. Unless you are attractive, dressed in an unusual manner, or are otherwise something different than average most people won’t notice you.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 08:47 PM
1

I have known women who knew what they were walking into. One guy still had his mom do his laundry in his 30s… Another was upfront about not doing domestic duties including child care. I know this isn’t the most common situation but what in childhood trauma were they thinking? My dad and male relatives on both sides were raised to be self sufficient including domestic obligations. This was even in the 60s and 70s. I’m used to doing family clean ups and it surprises me that this isn’t the standard…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 02:13 AM
3

I find many of the people I know to be more moderate/centrist than totally leftist or far right. I do question what some people consider to be conservative because I know full-blown liberals who are considered conservative. There is a divide between young men and women that affects everyone involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 09:09 PM
4

There's a wide space between a low-libido virgin and a high-libido promiscuous woman. I do know some men who want a complete virgin who will turn into a porn star when they marry, which is unlikely. A few things: All women's desire goes down in monogamy after the honeymoon stage. We switch from spontaneous desire to responsive desire. So does men's, though porn can artificially raise it, and your higher T levels mean it's less dramatic. You want a woman who has sexual desire. You can find this i…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 09:18 PM
1

Does this include former teen moms who have older kids? I you don't want to marry a single mom, then don't marry one. Many women wouldn't want to date a man with a child either. I have no issue with people having whatever standards they have. Honestly, the young single moms I've known were wary of a man wanting to date/marry them due to men who are chippy food.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 09:21 PM
-2

Some of us have asked guys out. I was told I have a shitty personality. I don't break mirrors, and I'm less fat but still fat, so I'm not exactly someone men are clamoring to ask out. I think some guys take the experience of the top and upper-middle women and assume that the rest of us have that experience. I honestly don't think that standard of guys asking women out is going to change anytime soon.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 05:40 PM
–

The average height for an American man is 5'9". The average height for men in the Anglosphere is 5'10". So she wants a man of average height.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 01:06 AM
2

I question what people consider conservative as I have known liberals who have been called conservatives by leftists. We’re talking US political categories here. I don’t doubt that people conceal their political affiliation and that men do it more. I’ve found most people to be fairly moderate myself but I also avoid politics and the news as much as a humanly possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 11:50 PM
1

I'm guessing it's the Autism, my upbringing, and me basically being asexual that is causing issues. I suppose if you're just casual friends, then it wouldn't matter as much.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 05:31 PM
1

Most people can’t separate sex and love. I was taught that you should only have sex with someone you love, and I know that isn’t an uncommon teaching. Isn’t a FWB a friend first? Other than the romantic stuff I don’t see an issue with their list. Granted I hate the term emotional labor because it’s been weaponized against me.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 04:42 PM
6

It’s more the hormones that drive the more over the top romantic behavior goes down. It absolutely takes more effort once they go down.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 12:06 AM
16

We know that women leave the honeymoon stage much faster than men . Female desire goes down in monogamy, and most of us have a responsive desire. We also know that men's romantic/mate procurement drive goes down in monogamy as well. Both individuals have to make an effort to keep the romance and relationship alive.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 07:16 PM
1

Wouldn't this include moving within the United States or the Western world in general? I've known men who have moved to locations with more favorable sex ratios, especially those from small towns. This has worked well for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 04:58 PM
14

I've been on the side that colleges shouldn't engage in trials at all. They should report the case to law enforcement and allow them to do the investigation. I don't see why the college needs to be involved beyond expelling a convicted offender and perhaps answering a legal challenge about campus safety.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 04:53 PM
6

We’d do cuddle piles when I was a teenager but one one-on-one cuddling between platonic friends wasn’t a regular thing. I’ve been involved in cuddles after a death or other traumatic event so it had a different tone. Having someone sob on your shoulder isn’t sexy for most people.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 02:52 PM
2

Interesting. Mom made over double what Dad did at the end of their marriage, so she had to give him part of her 401K, IRA, and buy out his portion of the house. You can think the law is unfair, but that doesn't mean much, especially in a community property state. Op is right, marrying a woman who makes a lot less or who is a SAHM is a choice. Can things change later? Yes, my parents' incomes switched during their marriage, partially due to their chosen fields. I'm anti-marriage myself, so it's n…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 05:35 PM
3

Part of the issue is that many individuals on the autism spectrum struggle with non-verbal communication. I have a non-verbal learning disability as well. There is a higher number of autistic individuals and generally undersocialized people here, and honestly, Reddit itself probably has a higher amount itself. I require verbal communication most of the time, which has made people not want to be friends, much less date me.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 03:59 PM
5

I read her blog 10-15 years ago. She's always been spiky, but not being relevant anymore seems to make her even more so. Not to mention abortions doubled after Roe fell.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 03:39 PM
5

I had a hard time feeling sympathy for a woman I knew who ignored his family and exes warnings about abusive behavior. She saw people press charges, get hospitalized and still went for it.I understand it often has to do with previous abuse and an unstable family of origin but it is difficult to to try to help someone who won’t help themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 01:14 AM
2

I've found that people tend to be more moderate/centrist than the loudmouths would have you think. My dad was an old-school Democrat and my mom is an old-school Republican who got together in the late 80s. Men are more open to dating across the aisle or otherwise hooking up across the aisle. It’s not surprising. I’m a moderate leaning apolitical according to political compass tests. I don’t believe in marriage, boycotting, protesting, or voting so I just make everyone mad.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/25 03:55 PM
4

I've heard “It’s the person doing the asking that should pay for it” or “ Each person pays for their own food/drink”. I assume many of the women who make the guy pay are also the anti-coffee date women.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 02:37 PM
2

My parents would do their laundry because my mom hated how my dad did it. He was raised to sort clothing into whites, then everything else. Like, towels were being put in with shirts. Mom is the type who will put her laundry into micro categories. She doesn't let me do her laundry either.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 04:53 PM
1

Retroactive jealousy is a phenomenon that's especially common among late bloomers. Honestly, if you don't like how someone is treating you, then don't date them. You can only control and change yourself. I haven't noticed how an ex was treated as being a big deal IRL unless they're a red flag that has people warning you off them. As for settling, not settling down, I honestly don't think it's as common as the internet would lead you to believe. The women I know who settled were raised to think t…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 06:20 PM
1

I should mention that I’m in a religious area, mainly Baptists and Catholics, so most had that in common. There are the women who were raised to believe that a woman’s greatest achievement is getting married and having children. You can imagine how much pressure that is.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 11:21 PM
2

I find it to be a useful shorthand because if I say part of my inability to feel sexual attraction is due to brain damage people call me asexual anyway. There’s not much you can do to stop changing desires. I don’t think being settled for is as common as people think but I know for a fact that it does happen. The women I know who did this were the type who couldn’t be alone. Don’t assume that things will get better after marriage if she doesn’t show much of a libido, is squeamish about bodies, b…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 10:12 PM
2

Yes. My parents were together 30 years but should have divorced way sooner. We were taking bets on when they would.Shot gun weddings were common for pregnant teens in my family.I assume this played a part. I’m basically asexual due to brain damage so that also plays a part. Women experience a decrease in desire in monogamy. The Honeymoon phase is the first 18 months to 3 years of a relationship for a woman. Bodily changes like an increase in hormones happens so you are literally drunk on love. B…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 09:19 PM
2

So, do we want to get into the honeymoon phase, women's drop in desire after 1-3 years, and unrealistic expectations? If he enters it with his eyes wide open, has realistic expectations, and is willing to put in effort, then he can be happy. Honestly, our current societal setup doesn't support monogamy as well as it did in the past. I view marriage as a means to raise children, so love and fidelity aren't high on the list for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 07:16 PM
1

Yes. It can be literal or figurative. My cousin got pregnant at 17 and they made her marry the father.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 10:04 PM
0

I’ve see it in my circles but we’re talking mostly middle to upper middle class Christians or otherwise more traditional people. I went to multiple shot gun weddings as a teenager.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 09:53 PM
–

This is what the adults in my family taught us kids: Girls don’t say yes when he asks the first time. You’re a slut if you do. Touch is flirty but but don’t do it too much. Boys don’t take the first yes because she’s a slut. Go after the girl who said no because she’s not a slut. Touching her is flirty and how you show interest. I have almost been arrested due to my whole bodily autonomy doesn’t exist, you just learn to deal with that thing. “Treat people how YOU want to be treated” was another …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 06:41 PM
–

Are you introverted or do you have social anxiety? Maybe both?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 04:36 PM
–

Never. 35 but most people think I look like I’m in my mid-late 20s. Maybe a 4 or 5. I’m on a weight loss journey and have lost over 60 lbs so It should go up some as I lose more.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 04:33 PM
4

Why not? If one person thinks they’re exclusive and the other thinks it’s causal non-exclusive dating then a conversation needs to be had.I’d say the same thing if the genders are reversed. I don’t understand why y’all are so against a “what are we?” conversation. I am used to seeing people date for marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 12:37 AM
10

Given the rise of situationships and not labeling the relationship she probably didn’t think anything of it. She might’ve assumed that he was seeing others as well.If he hadn’t asked her to his girlfriend why assume that they are exclusive? It sounds like a compatibility issue if nothing else.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 04:38 PM
31

My parents were teens in the 70s and they always told me that you should keep your options open until monogamy is agreed upon. Granted they assumed that dates would be in public 3rd places. There are people who will always try to find a loophole. Maybe it’s the Autism but talking about closing a relationship is important. I wouldn’t assume monogamy unless there was a conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 03:07 PM
2

According to the survey (from 8 months ago with 357 votes) a third is 25-30 with 31 to 40 being the next highest. It does skew on the younger side. Zoomers are the highest combined demographic.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 04:01 PM
1

A couple did choose a man because they can’t be alone and faced intense family pressure to marry.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 02:40 PM
5

The unreasonable and delusional women I’ve known aren’t choosing no man by choice as they keep bitching about not getting the men they want. Tbf most of them are nut bars. Other people can consider you unreasonable and delusional but that doesn’t mean you have to change your standards. Honestly what other people think of you isn’t your business anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 02:16 PM
10

That would require us to notice most men In the first place. I’ve found that unless someone is on either end of the attractiveness scale that most people are indifferent. There are absolutely men we find disgusting but most are just wallpaper.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/25 03:54 PM
3

First what are well defining as average here? If it’s the American average then the guy is 5’9”, 38 years old and overweight. The average will change depending on the area you live if we’re going by demographics. However everyone can’t be average. A healthy woman will see a man act like this and dump him because of his paranoia. Honestly this man, who most likely has a preoccupied or fearful-avoidant attachment style, is more likely to pair up with an avoidant woman who will then confirm all his…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 03:45 PM
0

I’m fairly centrist according to political compasses. I don’t vote and don’t believe in boycotting or protesting. Tbf I stopped watching any or reading news other than weather several years ago for my mental health so I usually have no clue what’s going on anyway. As for dating it’s just one more thing that counts me out.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 01:52 PM
–

There is a difference between an introvert and someone with social anxiety though you can be both. The latter can be treated. I know introverts that enjoy being with people they just need less time with others and more time to themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 02:49 PM
–

I'm a dirty centrist according to political compass tests. I find more people are centrists, sometimes leaning either way, or they are more apolitical. My mom is an old-school Republican, and my dad was an old-school Democrat.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 08:51 PM
–

I've known people who view not being liked by their partner's family as a challenge. It never ended well.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 05:34 PM
0

They could be different people. There is often an unsaid “controlled” added to it.People are often uncomfortable with messy emotions. Crying people are awkward to deal with. The guy could actually be out of control. Not as common but I have seen some full on destructive tantrums.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/25 08:20 PM
1

That’s not a problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/25 01:34 AM
1

I’ve had push back before. Apparently there are people who don’t differentiate between the two.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 07:56 PM
10

For me settling down means, choosing, closing the relationship and mixing your lives together. It has a positive to neutral connotation. I view settling and settling down as different things. Most people will have to compromise and drop some wants in a partner. I don’t view that as a bad thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 05:26 PM
6

Depends on the person. I'm autistic and have issues accurately judging motives. I have seen blatant examples (dude's grandma told her to run) and total surprises. My sister dated a clinically diagnosed psychopath. They were friends first, and he seemed normal at first.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 01:17 AM
1

I live in an area with a high obesity rate. People who are just overweight are often called thin. Most of the couples I know are evenly matched. Of course, thin, stable people are taken off the market quickly. The average age of an area (the average American is 38.7 years) also matters. If you live in an area where the average age skews younger, your experience will be different than if it skews older. My area average is in the early 30s.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 03:26 PM
6

I live in an area with a high obesity rate. People who are just overweight are often called thin. Most of the couples I know are evenly matched. Of course, thin, stable people are taken off the market quickly. The average age of an area (the average American is 38.7 years) also matters. If you live in an area where the average age skews younger, your experience will be different than if it skews older. My area average is in the early 30s.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 03:25 PM
1

Neither have I. Granted I’m used to seeing divorced but co-parenting single parents who are lower drama. Most are involved with other single/divorced people.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 06:39 PM
2

Pretty much. I still struggle with theory of mind but It’s getting better.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 05:23 PM
10

My young boomer parents told me that being nice to people will make them like you and want to be your friend and date you. I heard it said to my male cousins as well. We were also told adults know best so there’s that. I wasn’t a rebellious teen. I was so straight edge cops made fun of me.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 04:40 PM
1

Basically. I have brain damage and trauma which complicates things.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 07:24 PM
1

Sex negative between the two but probably more sex neutral. I believed that wanting sex was a sign of mental illness until 25.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 05:19 PM
1

As someone who has been on both extremes and now hangs out in the middle both sides have issues but The Right has been much nicer. The Lefts purity spirals are obnoxious and both side are gullible.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 10:50 PM
4

There is a decent amount of Autistic red-pillers so I can see it. My theory of mind issues have caused quite a few problems in the past.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 10:46 PM
1

If they’re anything like me it’s the ‘tism and theory of mind issues combined with bad family advice. I was told that adults know better than children so we should listen to them growing up. Luckily my mom was so overprotective that nothing bad happened.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 10:44 PM
1

I’ve seen the studies as well. As a woman who got along with guys in general and Autistic/ADHD women the in group bias worked against me when I was younger. The male friendships I’ve seen were either started when they were young or it’s a couple hanging out with another couple.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 10:34 PM
1

I know some very religious people. One woman believes that if you are married before God that divorce doesn’t exist. Her husband filled for divorce and she stayed passive because it’s against God. She says that she can’t get into another relationship because it would be bigamy as they are still married.She’s an extreme example but most of the push back against I’ve seen have been from religious people and older people.There people see divorce as a failure and will just either go with it or try t…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/25 03:58 PM
2

304 is Hoe upside down with an old school open 4.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 05:06 PM
5

I’ve heard that a sizable amount go to therapy as a replacement for not having friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 03:45 PM
9

A stable securely attached good looking man will be off the market quickly. The couple I’ve known married right out of college but even those who don’t marry tend to stay in LTRs. If they entered an exclusive relationship then they are off the market. It doesn’t mean that they won’t be back on the market at some point.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 08:51 PM
1

Okay, Mr.Avoidant. A healthy woman would just break up with a guy playing these games. Inspiring dread only works on a subset of insecurely attached women and most of y'all don't want them.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 08:34 PM
–

Knowing date for marriage people changes this a bit. They aren't using dating apps so that does move things along quicker. One side of my family is at least engaged by 25 so it worked for them, Dating is basically a personal job interview, especially for the guy. You have to impress them enough to get another date. Investing in a stranger seems weird. I will say that telling the guy you are looking for a husband does make them scatter. Why that number? Some areas don't even have restaurants wher…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 08:29 PM
2

Yes, because that's a mature reaction. Your lack of strong boundaries is an issue but it isn't hers. If you can only get the woman who isn't over her ex what makes you think you'll be able to find an AP? Just break up or have an adult conversation about how you feel disregarded.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 09:08 PM
6

I’ve seen this change in women around me. Two went through therapy and worked on their attachment wounds so their taste legitimately changed. They no longer need the instability and danger for their nervous system. Both of their partners are securely attached and stable. Another decided it was time to settle down (I view style down as a positive or neutral term) and have kids in her late 20s so she shifted her dating strategy to date for marriage. I think this is common. She found a guy that’s a…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 08:27 PM
1

I agree that women have higher standards for a ONS’s attractiveness. I disagree that this means that women like their LTRs less. Being the most attractive person my partner’s ever been with is not something I get.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 08:24 PM
1

What in the anxious and avoidant attachment? I have known older baby boomer women who what to marry anyone who’d have them. All have/had their demons and cultural influence. To be fair one was in a Christian cult so it came with the territory. All of the one’s I know are older Xers and boomers. Settle to me is a positive/neutral term as in settling down/closing the relationship and making it exclusive. I don’t think that settle in the negative sense is that common. I usually hear it in terms of …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 05:03 PM
4

Some people need to consider it an option at all. My parents stayed together way longer than they should have. There are too many people that view a divorce as a character flaw. Honestly most of the divorces I’ve seen have been civil the others were due to DV. I view marriage as more of a business transaction anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 08:49 PM
-1

I can see that. I have known delusional women who want the six pack guy but don’t have the patience for the lifestyle this requires.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 11:19 PM
4

Because they want to.Because even fat people don’t want to date each other /s. Because they want to go for it. Any of these work for you OP? For what it’s worth in my area in the US fit people are even more of a minority. Most couples I know are either both fat, both fit or one of the partners body has changed over the course of the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 11:04 PM
–

If you want a non-monogamous relationship or a non committed one go ahead. I think non-monogamy only works well for a small percentage of the population. As long as I’m not dragged into your drama knocked yourself out.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 08:25 PM
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That fits with my idea that non-monogamy is an inherent trait for some people. I don’t think that non-monogamy is always bad it’s just that only a small percentage of the population can do it well. Most of the people preaching about aren’t those people.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 08:23 PM
0

I don’t believe unconditional love exists. Love is always conditional for me. Relationships are transactional to some extent with well functioning ones having a nice give and take that is harder to see.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 03:51 PM
2

Loneliness is creeping up on everyone men are just so much further ahead. I haven’t had a close friendship since 2008. Other Autistics tend to be insulted by my perspective and Non-Autistics are hit or miss with being comfortable around me. I have no clue how to make friends in my 30s especially with my limits. I do have less people thinking ill of me than men though. Honestly the loneliest I’ve ever been was when I had a group of friends. I suffered from what I now know were severe long depress…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 03:47 PM
2

It might just be my family but most of the couples either earn similar wages or the woman makes more. My parents had a shared household bank account that they put a portion of their paychecks in and a separate one for each of them for the rest of their paychecks in. What they spent their individual money on was their choice as long as the bills were paid.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 03:42 AM
1

A point that isn’t brought up much is that in the past both sexes would at least be around children whether they be family members or family friend’s kids.People not growing up siblings especially opposite sex siblings has made things harder. Dad had 4 brothers and a sister who was the youngest so an older sister taking care of the family didn’t happen. His eldest brother took on the role of helping with his siblings but my grandma taught all of her kids how to cook, clean and do minor mending s…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 03:30 AM
13

As a woman who has been called creepy poor social skills and not respecting boundaries are a big ones. Yes more attractive people can get away with more. I’ve seen above average, for the area, men who struggle to get dates or make friends because they are just so unlikable as people. As for Autism and related disabilities traits can definitely come off as creepy especially if you’re on the side less or more expressive side. I’m on the my face gets me in trouble because it has no inside voice sid…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 12:50 AM
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I suppose I’m linking being fed and care for with love from a baby’s perspective. I grew up with food equaling love because if you weren’t at least liked you wouldn't get fed regardless of your age.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 06:22 PM
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Not having love as a kid screws you up. They have done research in orphanages where babies were more likely to fail to thrive due to not having a consistent attentive caregiver. That’s the only thing I see from that list that is a true need especially during early childhood.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 06:13 PM
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What? I just said that there is a subset of men that care about a woman’s career. To clarify I’m speaking of those looking for marriage, already married or equivalent relationships here as those around me are the date to marry type. In this economy having a spouse that brings in enough money to help keep the household in a certain economic bracket is important. I’m the non-dating person people complain about relationships to.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 11:25 PM
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At least a subset of men care about a woman’s career. People tend to marry in or around their social class. I grew up in the lower part of the upper middle class and the men around me weren’t marrying baristas.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 06:35 PM
0

I find that there are some people who assume they are introverted but they actually are ambiverts or extroverts with social anxiety. I’m an ambivert AuDHDer with NVLD who will either talk to anyone around me or will avoid contact with people to recharge. I like to learn what I can about communication. Body language people have been very helpful. I will admit that I have an opinion about my disabilities that offends people. Part of this is location-dependent as I live in the South so conversing w…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 06:43 PM
2

As I've said before Nice Guys are doormats who lack boundaries. I see people, usually men, complain that the opposite sex takes advantage of their friendship. This is where a lack of boundaries comes into play. You don't have to be friends with someone who walks all over you. You can leave. This sub trends towards those with preoccupied and disorganized attachment, so this mindset is common here. I have a disorganized attachment myself which is difficult to handle at times.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 09:34 PM
1

I don’t know anyone who uses the apps so that’s my perspective. I will say most of the couples I know are overweight/obese people who are around or older than the average age of an American (37 years old). I’m firmly of the mind that most of the people in the dating pool have subscriptions rather than issues. The securely attached marry or at least partner up early leaving the insecurely attached to find each other. Unfortunately when you date someone you are dating all of their baggage as well.…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 06:09 PM
1

As soon as it is reasonable. I’m used to more…structured relationships. Most of my family is religious which leads to dating for marriage. This does mean that major wants are gotten out of the way early. Unless one of the partners has a cruel streak both tend to realize at some point that they aren’t compatible enough. I’d say over 50%. When you are mainly looking a chemistry, temperament and, problem solving skills then it tends to be more black and white.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 11:31 PM
1

This is what I’ve seen play out. Most of the people I know that date to marry so they quickly vet their potential partner by getting into deeper topics earlier. If you want marriage, kids and a white picket fence it’s essential that you find out your potential partner’s opinion on such matters early on. If you are polar opposites on such basic wants then moving forward is unnecessary. I’ll admit that those that refuse to have an adult conversation frustrate me. Tbf multiple, short public causal …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 11:19 PM
2

Sorry if that sounded snappy. I meant that some places the only groups about abuse that allow men are the ones for the abusers.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 05:35 PM
5

If they aren’t told to take abusers counseling.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 04:40 PM
3

I’ll admit that my perspective is skewed because my abusers were women, girls and boys. I haven’t had bad experiences with men, that I’m aware of, so I tend to side eye women more.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 03:00 AM
17

I’ve seen both men and women be abused with my own eyes and the reaction to it is markedly different. If a man says a female partner abused him it’s automatically “What did you do you do to make her mad?” while if it’s the opposite there is more concern for the female victim even if some people are jerks about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 08:46 PM
2

I have known people that do that so it's not out of the question.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 05:48 PM
2

There are mothers (see the modern definition of boy mom and emotional incest) that will cause issues for their sons. I asked men here if they were raised to center their moms and more than a few had this experience. I am a woman who was raised by a mentally ill mother herself. Parentification, putting women on pedestals, and overly identifying with women are common in this environment. The Nice Guy lacks boundaries and is a doormat when it comes to women. The two are linked.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 05:18 PM
3

I’ve also seen people from here (Texas suburbs) have issues when they go to other locations. I think that is one reason the whole not going up to talk to someone seems odd to me. I’m an extrovert leaning ambivert with combo-ADHD combine that with southern social rules and I’ll talk to about anyone. I have been accused of being creepy, some misunderstandings due to my autism/NVLD that were cleared up and told that I have a shitty personality when I asked a guy out.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 10:30 PM
19

I’m an AuDHD woman whose traits mostly present like a female autist and a mixture for my combo-ADHD. The men I speak of had Asperger’s diagnoses. 1.I assume you were raised to have some social awareness. I have known autistic people whose parents (usually their moms) catered to them and excused their bad behavior so any negative traits were amplified.Think spoiled child behavior. I feel that this is also a generational thing as I’m mainly around fellow millennials or older people. When I was dia…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 06:49 AM
2

Interesting. My mother is uncomfortable with most emotions in general though she is more comfortable with anger than sadness.She was raised with a "hide your crazy and act like a lady" attitude. My sibling is FtoM trans so that does complicate things.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 03:25 AM
2

I figured that might be the case given the demographics of this sub. You’re not wrong and anything that is put into place will only help as you get older.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 12:41 AM
6

Much of my family is Christian so I have seen active social structures in action. I agree that they are beneficial and needed for dating opportunities. I really think Covid made a bigger mess of things. Before Covid there were age/interest based groups in my city that did things like go to the theme park. Now good luck finding anything for those of us in our 30 and 40s.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 11:55 PM
6

My parents are young boomers who grew up in the 60s and 70s. They did live in small towns. Hearing their stories growing is different to me growing up in the 90s and 2000s but closer than my grandparent’s in the 40s and 50s. To be fair it depends on the age of the individual and when their parents had them. The sub seems to skew younger or they are more vocal at least. The societal limitations on women and traditionalism to account for a large amount of the high marriage rate but socialization i…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 11:34 PM
13

Women are twice as likely to suffer from Atypical depression* (Bipolar depression often manifests as this as well) so we do often present differently. Men are more likely to be irritable and numb over sad and tearful. Risky behavior and substance use is also more common. Honestly it reminds me of (pre)teen depression symptoms. *Increased appetite, excessive sleep, elevated mood due to positive events, ,heavy feeling in limbs and increased sensitivity to rejection in addition to other depression …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 09:21 PM
1

I misinterpreted your tone as being hostile and was trying to deflect it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 09:38 PM
5

I’m the wrong person to ask that of because it doesn’t bother me. I’d be confused but not mad.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 09:21 PM
4

I wonder what a guy is expecting when he confronts his wife. It’s data. I don’t see how this is saying you’re entitled. I think spouses should expect intimacy of some sort unless a conversation is had to the contrary. That doesn’t mean automatically acquiescing but it’s not like it should be a total surprise. Why not? It’s freely given data. She could keep track of her own data. I don’t know if it’s the Autism or my fearful-avoidant attachment but I have absolutely kept track of various conversa…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 07:22 PM
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I’ve been shot down and told I have a shitty personality and that I am creepy when asking guys out. I mean they weren’t wrong. I’ve known men who are kind of meh looks wise. I have face blindness and can tell their features are off, but who do pretty well with the ladies. One is genuinely funny and the other is extroverted and friendly. One of the biggest issues is online dating is so looks focused and forward because that is a variable you can select for or against when filtering. Honestly well…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 12:21 AM
2

There are those that are mad that they can’t get casual sex. I’ve known men who can get into relationships but can’t get a ONS. To be fair that has to be annoying if hook ups are your goal. The preoccupied inexperienced romantics on the other hand seem to either have the opposite problem or truly conflate the two. I’ve brought up that I was raised to casually go out with multiple people to check for compatibility. These are more like public job interviews than dates but it ticks them off.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 08:37 PM
1

Some have admitted that this is the case. Given how women usually operate in monogamy and their tendency to select for low(er) libido women because of their requirements this usually doesn’t end up how they want it to. I have known men who could get a relationship but not a hook up. Some get very offended over that.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 08:22 PM
3

Yeah, it isn’t healthy either way. A healthy partner will be turned off by the doormat attitude. It often starts in childhood. Either a caregiver made the child center them or they ended up overly aligning with that caregiver through their circumstances.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/24 06:54 PM
29

This would be beneficial for men who do center women too much. I don’t see an issue with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/24 12:51 AM
12

The friendzone does exist but it’s often due to a lack of boundaries. The internet Nice Guy is a doormat that lacks boundaries. There are the manipulative and the oblivious (Hi that’s me) as well. I hear people complain that they are asked to do boyfriend/girlfriend things. You don’t have to do them. Tell the asker that you feel you are being taken advantage of and state your boundaries. Breaking off or limiting a friendship is a perfectly reasonable boundary if you feel taken advantaged of. As …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 02:44 AM
1

Pretty much that. I ate hot dogs in spaghetti way more than I care to admit. Judging by people’s reactions that’s a little weird. There were times growing up when we had what we had and you did what you could with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 08:13 PM
1

Once in a blue moon, my hyperfixation is cooking, and that's when the weird comes out.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 07:51 PM
3

I’d usually answer that with “I can but it will either be uninteresting and bland or really weird depends on which way the ADHD is going.” I hate cooking. I find it boring and it is not unusual for me to either just eat random items or just not eat at all because I can’t be bothered.I can do basic things and I can follow a recipe I just don’t like to. Honestly family sized freezer meals for just myself have been helpful especially if they are resealable. They last me several meals.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 06:36 PM
1

A good chunk of men here are also 25 or under so that skews things as well. I’ve found that often women who rely solely on their looks hit a point where that isn’t enough. The couple I’ve known have been people I wouldn’t be friends with much less date. Of course they still have options but sane men stay away from that drama.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 07:43 PM
0

Oh look attachment theory coming out to play. A well rounded man has a fairly balanced amount of Alpha and Beta traits. Nice Guys are doormats with a lack of boundaries. They often have an anxious attachment. Many high alpha trait men are avoidant. The women who chase them often have an anxious attachment and low self esteem. Honestly once you hit a certain point there is a high chance of people with issues. Most of the well adjusted people I know married in their 20s. They had stable home lives…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 12:24 AM
1

I was raised by an old school moderate Democrat dad and more apolitical leaning old school moderate republican mom so that worked for my parents. I wouldn’t date a leftist or the opposite as a dirty centrist. Granted I know people on both extremes think I am a leftist or far-right because I’m not on their side. Political tests put me right in the middle. I think if one is more apolitical, centrist, moderate, or otherwise then you have more leeway.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/24 04:49 PM
1

I agree.Leaving an abusive situation isn’t hypergomous. In context of some of the discussions on the this post I’ll point out a couple of things. There are people like me with NVLD who require verbal communication. I can’t process most non-verbal communication but I always make that well known to others. I still get people who get mad when their more subtle non-verbal communication goes over my head. I’ve seen women do indirect references and complaints but not address the elephant in the room. …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 11:18 PM
1

Single mothers are uncommon in my circle currently but there is a history of teen pregnancy. Even in the 2000s we were doing shotgun marriages though so the teen parents ended up married. Currently the couple of single moms are divorced with teens and adult children so that doesn’t effect them that much. The boomer and Gen x parents had most of their kids in their late 20s to mid 40s (mostly due to infertility issues) and all of them wish they had kids earlier. My generation and the older Zoomer…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:17 PM
1

I’ve seen bad boys, as in rebellious not criminal, settle down before. Having a baby changes the father’s chemistry as well. It is interesting to watch.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 05:26 PM
3

What are you considering boundaries? They tell the other person “Here is my is my line and here’s what I’ll do if that line is crossed.” I know women who have that as a hard limit and will not get in a relationship with or at worst break up with a man over it. I don’t see how it is abusive to go “We obviously aren’t a values match so it’s best we go our separate ways.” I assume you’d know about the boundary before you close the relationship but apparently people don’t actually talk about things …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 06:14 PM
2

It depends on the boundaries in the relationship.If a boundary is “Porn is cheating and I will break up with you/not close the relationship because of cheating.” then that’s the boundary. This should be mentioned either before you close the relationship/decide to get together or in your values talks early on.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 06:05 PM
1

The child rearing stage is delicate especially at the beginning. Some couples are held together by their kids. It’s not uncommon for empty nesters to divorce due to not having a connection anymore. I’m of the mind that divorce isn’t the worst thing in the world and if some of these couples had divorced before things got to the point they did things may have gone smoother.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 10:51 PM
1

It depends on how old they are and how long they’ve been married.People change over time. The divorces I’ve seen have been 25+ year marriages and they were mostly amicable to friendly. Apparently people find it weird to be friendly with your ex-spouse. That’s what I grew up around. Otherwise it was for abuse reasons. My parents married in their late 20s and divorced in their late 50s. Those are two totally different stages of life.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 09:14 PM
2

I’m now a mid-30s virgin but my late 20s is when people started side-eyeing my lack of romantic and sexual history. People just assume, rightly so, that I have issues so it’s different than men. I do have multiple disabilities which makes people desexualize me anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 12:42 AM
2

That’s reasonable. The bot/spam violations seem to be men who swipe on every woman within a short period of time frequently. Search engines have thought I was a bot because I was going through pages too quickly so I don’t doubt apps have a similar trigger.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 06:33 PM
3

That doesn’t seem to matter. I’ve seen talk of Tinder using shadow-banning instead of outright banning to keep men on and upgrading. Considering their business model I wouldn’t be surprised. Nothing changes on your side but your profile and activity are hidden. I agree with the other poster it seems to fall under bot/spamming activity TOS-wise.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 08:36 PM
1

Yes. You eventually get shadow-banned.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 05:16 PM
1

The all-or-nothing is the main issue. There are obviously Christian men who have this preference. I am grossed out by tattoos to the point I have refused to be an acquaintance with people who have them. I am actually much better with things like this than I was when I was younger. I can see being debt-free being preferred and if no sex before marriage is a value you have, I don’t consider CSA/SA to change one’s status, then look for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 03:31 AM
1

Dating apps are a business and like most things the customers are the men and the product is the women. I don’t know anyone who has met their partner through an app but do know a couple who met online. I’ll admit that I’ll talk to just about anyone, anywhere which has caused some awkward situations. I’m have been called creepy at time though not near as much as my male counterparts. I agree that women shutting down men talking to them at all is a problem. Honestly being asked out in a public pla…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 09:48 PM
3

I seen objectively attractive people take horrid photos, have a shitty profile and just not come across well. I’m word based rather than picture based due to my face blindness myself but that isn’t the norm online.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 08:15 PM
1

I fight with people for dopamine so not really. I’m a popcorn watcher though.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 02:36 PM
2

There is a point on the other end where it either costs more or just breaks even with both partners working due to things like childcare. I know couples who had the lowest earning partner stay home with the kids as they were basically living on one income because all of it went to expenses that no longer exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 04:41 PM
5

Most of the time when I’ve seen this, it is a woman who grew up in a dysfunctional situation with low self-esteem. They knew he was a toxic guy, but that’s what they felt they deserved/were attracted to. Some of the same women did trauma work and gained self-esteem, so their attraction changed especially if they changed to securely attached. We want people to treat us how WE think we should be treated. We play out the dynamic we grew up with. Toxic moms telling their daughters that all they are …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 02:50 PM
2

No problem on this end.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 11:01 PM
4

The average height for men in the US is 5’9”/69”/1.8 meters so 5’11” is tall.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 10:48 PM
6

The honeymoon phase aka the phase where all of your feel good hormones are racing and your rose colored glasses are on lasts for 1.5-3 years in women and 7ish years in men. It can raise a low libido woman up into a normal libido and make us have (a stronger)spontaneous desire).I know women who were distressed by their apparent lack of desire once it went to responsive desire. Consider when people often get married after they are in a relationship. When those rose colored glasses fall off any fla…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 03:03 PM
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Huh, that makes sense. Bad emotions were verboten in my house. So I have sympathy for those who are also lashing out.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 08:52 PM
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Good luck with that considering the amount of us autists here.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 02:23 PM
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The Boomers and Xers in my family have always expressed that they wish they had kids earlier. You are either fertile myrtle or you’d have to call the Vatican if you get pregnant in my family. The millennials and older Zoomers are having kids in their late teens and early -mid 20s thus far or no kids at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 08:34 PM
2

I agree but that’s what the government uses as its definition for obesity. A waist circumference of 40 inches or more for men and 35 inches or more for women is considered to be an unhealthy fat distribution. 160 pounds is in the overweight BMI for my 65 inches. My LBM is around 160 pounds because I build muscle easily for a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 02:57 PM
4

The definition for statistics is a BMI of 25 or higher. Obesity is a BMI of 30 or higher. TBF I have a high Lean Body Mass and a high fat percentage so my ideal body weight would be considered overweight. Still better than my Obese II-III.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 02:13 PM
2

I’m an extrovert leaning ambivert with combo-ADHD and BPII Are we talking socially anxious or just introverted? I know introverts who do like going out and doing things they just need time to recharge away from people. Some introverts come off as being stuck up and mean. Extroversion tends to be rewarded in general. Introverts can fade into the background.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/24 12:17 AM
7

I’m used to religious people and dating for marriage so young married couples aren’t uncommon. I do wonder where they meet these people. It probably is a generational divide but I also don’t know many 18-25 year olds.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 06:02 PM
1

There are sex differences. I have seen women say that they have male type autism and that they are considered lower functioning. I read something, the ADHD can’t remember where the article is unfortunately, that said autistic females have a closer brain structure function to non-autistic males. I have always gotten along better with males because they tend to play less games then females.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 08:04 PM
3

I’m fearful-avoidant and this lines up with my experience. Complete with unrealistic double digit lists that I will fail at while being able to say “I tried”.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 07:43 PM
4

Women mainly have responsive desire especially in monogamous relationships. Women get out of the honeymoon phase in 1.5-3 years while it’s 7 years for men. Blame our ancient ancestors. Ideally both partners would know this and act accordingly. A woman who isn’t opposed to have sex with her partner at the moment should got for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/24 08:44 PM
1

I have enough “Nice Girl” tendencies that people have called me out on them. Part of it is because I was a raised to believe that if you are nice (never kind) people will see that, be drawn to you and reciprocate. It is more about a guy’s negative reaction and passive aggressiveness. I don’t think expect someone to be happy when they are rejected but going on about what a bitch I am and how I’m too ugly for you anyway isn’t making friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/24 03:48 PM
3

Beats being passive-aggressive because you can’t be honest.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/24 03:42 PM
1

That’s how I’ve mainly seen it work. A conversation is had and then he asks her out. I have seen one cold approach where he just went up to her and asked where he needs to pick her up for their date. She was just plain confused. I will say that I will talk to anyone who sticks around long enough so just chatting people up makes sense to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/24 02:02 PM
–

Highly educated people have less kids. Women are more educated than they have ever been. My generation and the Zoomers in my family are either having 2-3 kids or none. They also had or are having kids in their early to mid 20s. All of our parents , who had kids in their 30s and 40s often due to infertility issues, wished they had us earlier so that’s what we grew up hearing. I’d have to call the Vatican if I got pregnant so I have no dog in this fight.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/24 11:49 PM
5

You mean the creepy male feminists? I didn’t like them when I was a LibFem and I definitely don’t like them now. I get the desire and need to not be associated with certain types but it comes off as disingenuous.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/24 07:00 PM
2

True. I’d say it could be a bias based on who one spends their time around, I’m mainly around women myself, but I wonder if some don’t spend time with anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/24 09:32 PM
1

What interests me is that women vote more than men. I curious about how that will play out once Gen Z is of voting age and Gen Alpha starts to vote.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/24 05:08 PM
2

People do like living through others stories. There is a difference in being cautious, which everyone should be and believing all of one sex is dangerous. I have seen women say this but just assume they are mentally ill, suck at vetting and/or have some Trauma/trauma.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/24 04:59 PM
5

Exactly. I want the best for me and mine that doesn’t mean I have ill will towards anyone else but consequences happen. Women do show more in group preference as a whole but I don’t see that as automatically attacking men.Subconscious bias is what it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/24 04:52 PM
2

Relationships are by their very nature transactional. If a relationship is functioning well the transactional part isn’t as noticeable. Tallying in relationships doesn’t end well.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 04:03 PM
2

Maybe that’s the issue. Big changes without the mental shift especially if there is a Trauma/trauma background seems like a bad idea. Those I know who lost a whole bunch of weight had to go to therapy due to self concept and self esteem issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 03:59 PM
–

Most likely religion and/or anti-sex moms. I,myself,thought that liking sex was a sign of mental illness until I was 25. I wasn’t even brought up religiously. Mom told me that sex isn’t worth it and that I’m better off waiting until I want kids because it’s unpleasant.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 01:44 PM
1

Ideally yes. Realistically given how emotionally immature many of us are not really.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 06:36 PM
7

I’ve seen cool or warm approaches more often. I don’t think it’s that controversial but how comfortable it is does vary.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/24 09:16 PM
2

Fair enough. I forget what I’m used to is apparently unusual.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/24 09:10 PM
1

I’ve always wondered why there isn’t more just buying the things needed or splitting costs for older children. You’d likely get more men paying directly for the child then having to hand over the money to the mother with whom he might have an antagonistic relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/24 07:17 PM
5

They require a prescription here so getting them isn’t the easiest or cheapest option. I heard sex workers talk about their use for group activities but even they agreed that they aren’t the most practical.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/24 10:17 PM
-1

In the past many of the men having issues would be cannon fodder or otherwise have a war story. There have been times with a female surplus due to war so getting married wasn’t a given. Lack of Third places is a big one. Asking out a woman can be tricky in especially with place like school and work not being as viable. Technology has changed things including our brains. There’s a reason many who created social media don’t want their kids on it. My parents met when dad was mom’s boss at holiday j…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/24 08:09 PM
7

At least I’m honest? I’ve been asked before so I figured I’d get ahead of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/24 08:24 AM
3

I grew up hearing that I should be a nice girl (related to but different than a good girl) because being nice with attract people to me and they will like me. They will reciprocate my actions. I was taught to always listen to adults and my AuDHD self tends to take things at face value. It sounds like many got the male version of this. My mom has and my dad (RIP) had some sort of undiagnosed ND.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/24 08:23 AM
2

Given that lack of theory of mind, mental rigidity and emotional deregulation is common in us autists I can’t say I’m surprised for a sizable percentage. I’m in a weird position where I am actively trying to heal from my past but I still both resent and want to save those who refuse to work on themselves so I get the frustration.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/24 08:12 AM
3

Pessimistic and control freak.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/24 08:05 AM
34

TRP is an interesting concept. So many get stuck in the anger phase or go grey/black pilled. I get the idea that one’s ego is hurt by repeated rejection and feeling frustrated because of the options aren’t up to your standards or otherwise aren’t actual prospects. I’ve said that most of the dating pool isn’t worth dating and yes I am included in that group as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 09:56 PM
1

Yes to some extent. I was more referring to issues related to upbringing.Insecure attachment and Trauma/trauma are still fairly new to the mainstream. The dysfunctional often don’t want to admit to being dysfunctional. To be fair humans tend to be self focused. Many of the issues brought up in PPD aren’t ones I see IRL. All of the 18-26 year olds I know are engaged or married to same age peers. So I guess the no drama women are already paired up.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 09:41 PM
1

It used to be 60/30 for secure versus insecure attachment. With young millennials and Gen Z it’s looking to be more 30/60 which explains part of the issue. There some uncomfortable truths that play into this that no one is ready to tackle. People with secure attachment, those that saw a healthy relationship modeled and had stability, tend to pair up and marry earlier. Which means a higher percentage of insecurely attached people in the dating market. You can change your attachment style and go-r…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 05:59 PM
2

Maybe not less horny but more controlled? Well most anyway. Apparently some have to be told that groping themselves at women isn’t a turn on. Well if you’re considered ugly you need to become “you have a nice personality. The wall is kind of always there. To add on to your point. It also depends on how young you look.There are plenty of men who would like to settle down with a woman who has the looks of a 20-something and the maturity of a 30-something in my experience. I do rely on exclusively …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/24 04:43 PM
–

How the percentage of each is split up.80/20 is a popular one around here. I suppose that is an odd way to put.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 06:34 PM
–

Fair enough. I’m not sure what the split would be. My bias being around so many mental ill people.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 06:08 PM
–

I happy your mental health struggles didn’t influence you strongly. I agree as long as it is consensual and safe. That does get difficult with things like mania due to the altered state.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 05:48 PM
–

To be fair I saw this growing up as well. We’re talking pregnant middle schoolers and three digit counts before 18. Apparently that isn’t everyone’s experience. Makes sense. I tried to make it clear it isn’t about dating just how you feel when you hear her story/struggles.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 05:43 PM
–

People have different values. Here’s a question: If the promiscuity is due to Truama/truma, mental illness and/or other mental/emotional issues does that change your perspective? Not saying YOU have to date her but does that change how you view here? Maybe more of a pity or sympathy? I went the complete opposite way and thought liking sex was a sign of severe mental illness until I was 25 so it does depend on the person. I have seen, and men here have confirmed, that relationships/sex with these…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 05:27 PM
0

It’s weird to see. Less frequently I’ve seen objectively attractive women get turned down.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 05:24 PM
0

That’s been my question. If we aren’t talking about the same woman why is it fair to put that on a woman you didn’t know then? Neither sex likes baring the sins of others of their sex. That speaks more to a low self esteem and resentment than actual facts.Neither are particularly attractive especially when externalized. 1* I’m not saying it isn’t warranted or a moral failing but it is your responsibility to deal with.Sucks though. 2* I’ve been called out for this myself. People who can at least …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 05:21 PM
-1

I’ve seen cool or warm approaches work but cold approaches seem risky. I have seen objectively good looking guys get shot down when they tried that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 05:11 PM
1

I also don’t think it is as common as some believe. I’ll argue that it used to be more common. I have 40+ year old relatives who married because it was required/expected, we had shotgun weddings in the 2000s for reference, or because they didn’t want to be alone. Standards are a funny thing. Obviously many have standards that won’t play out in the dating market. I doubt most people get everything on their lists especially those who have long or unrealistic lists. I have heard settling being defi…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 05:08 PM
2

I seem to be the minority. I view settling, as in settling down, to be making a decision to close the relationship and offer commitment. I do view causal dating as dating multiple people until you find someone with whom you are compatible with. That’s when you start a committed relationship and I am use to date to marry dating. No one person can satisfy everything for you. While having some activities in common is nice that can be fulfilled by other people.I do things that aren’t my favorite bec…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 11:32 PM
3

I define settling as making a decision. Deciding to close the relationship and make a commitment. Settling down. I view it as a neutral to positive thing so I seem to be an outlier.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 11:16 PM
3

The irony is most women who are into sex are having it or at least learning about themselves through things like toys. Trauma/trauma based promiscuity not withstanding. There is a significant portion of us who are virgins/low-n count women due to shame,trauma, physical conditions or disgust. I’m a virgin who thought that liking sex was a sign of severe mental illness until my mid-20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 11:01 PM
0

In the context of early relationships/the honeymoon period men tend to have a higher romantic drive. Part of that is all the hormones and biological drive, it’s same thing that raises a woman’s sex drive, and part of it is societal/family norms. I wonder if in M/F relationships a woman’s romantic gestures are seen as a waste of time? Of course the man would have to willing to except said romantic gestures but those do vary. I know a man who actually has a secure attachment and was modeled a heal…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 02:27 PM
–

All things being equal divorce is terrible for kids. As that is not the case a friendly or at least polite divorce will work. Mind you all of the divorces I’ve seen have either been at least polite or someone ended up in the ER due to abuse. Luckily I’ve never seen messy divorce sounds awful.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 12:08 AM
2

Even scarier is relying mostly or completely on others for your self-perception and self-esteem. Why yes I did search out POSs. Unfortunately you’re right. They have to be so uncomfortable and want to change enough that the ball starts rolling.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 07:50 PM
5

It seems that I be a damned if you do damned if you don’t situation. I haven’t figured out where the whole hot people thing comes from. Granted in my area someone less than 20 pounds overweight (for their frame/body) is considered skinny and the stereotypical hot people aren’t on the dating scene long unless there is a good reason they are single. The only thing I can figure is I’ve seen all of this IRL and I don’t follow people I know on social media.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 03:41 PM
1

There is a discussion to be had about people facing jobs and their pay as so many jobs are now falling into this category but that is another ball of wax. If you truly believe you are being illegally under paid or a law is being broken then contact a lawyer.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 03:29 PM
1

And that acquaintance can introduce you to others. I don’t know any older Zoomers or millennials that met their partners through a dating app. One did meet on an online game though. Most were friends of friends or acquaintances younger relatives of family friends or fellow volunteers.That social proof is necessary. If one can’t even make a causal acquaintance how do they except to find a partner? Social anxiety does have treatments. Honestly, adults seem to have more casual friends or acquaintan…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 04:12 PM
12

Women look at the whole package. Apparently men can take different/separate features/parts but women can’t. This is one reason things like foot fetishist are predominantly male.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 07:28 PM
2

I’m an auDHDer who was raised by undiagnosed boomers. I was literally told that if I’m nice, never kind, and do stuff for people that they’d like me. I had the attitude many have around here in my teens and 20s.Maybe there were more nuanced conversations but when you have issues with theory of mind and black and white thinking good luck. This is also why many want an equation to get women. Female autistics have some similar brain structures to non-autistic males. There is a sex difference betwee…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 07:23 PM
1

Men are more likely to overestimate women’s interest in them. I’ll add that with ND or socially awkward men it’s even worse. Seems like a feature not a bug. Unfortunately going up and asking “Hey are you into me?” isn’t an option for most.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 12:59 PM
4

Depends on if 2.0 or WWIII kick-off first. Unfortunately using men as canon fodder was one way to do this in the the past.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 12:38 PM
2

Women’s increasingly unrealistic standards? Men’s trouble finding well-paying jobs? If women have unrealistic standards, our prices will rise. The demand for us is higher anyway. Men’s buying power has decreased, and fewer can meet women’s standards. I think many people in the dating market aren’t worth dating, but humans will human.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 10:22 PM
12

The honeymoon phase/NRE hormones are wild. It’s the dopamine chasers versus the serotonin chasers.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 01:49 PM
3

The lowest common denominator of the group brings most of us down. That’s one reason Intrasexual policing happens. Take those waiting for marriage for example. The assumed default is sex to happen quickly in the marketplace. Yes being able to vet people for compatibility is fairly easy when using that standard but the pool is much smaller. That’s where the resentment and bitterness comes in. I was taught that to keep your options open and date casually, often with multiple people, until you want…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 01:43 PM
1

It’s more those that won’t stop telling you appropo of nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 05:03 PM
1

I have family in small towns in the American south and this is common for us as well. Some of the areas were more skewed more towards males anyway due to blue collar jobs. This just made it worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 03:29 PM
–

I’ve seen it used by men who are always the boy friend never the boyfriend. Same with women. Usually boundary issues and covert contracts are at work. I have no issue with someone walking away due to their feelings. Hopefully they do it maturely. I’ve seen covert contracts fester and resentment build due to unrequited feelings.That’s just a toxic position to be in. It would be better to walk away. Ideally they’ll work through their feelings and we can resume some sort of friendship again. I don’…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 03:22 PM
2

I think of hyper-independence, which is a trauma and insecure attachment response, when I hear that. If you have to tell me you are strong and independent are you really?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 03:03 PM
1

Every relationship is transactional but if it is functional and healthy the transaction isn’t as obvious.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 03:19 PM
2

Thank you. Having more socially unacceptable phobias and disgusts make things complicated. Same to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 09:10 PM
0

I’m working on my controlling behavior and lessening my disgust response. I have a history of having a fear of the naked human body from between the collarbones to knees including medical drawings. Exposure therapy is all around me it seems. That’s what I’m figuring out. Part of my standards are due to my “(social) appearances matter over everything” upbringing.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 04:48 PM
3

I happy to hear she’s gotten emotionally mature. I was curious about sex differences when it comes to reactions when it comes to women like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 04:43 PM
2

That sounds awful. Emotionally immature mothers can be difficult to handle.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 04:40 PM
2

I get it from an over arching perspective. Men who are mad that women can get sex easier and they want that as well.I hold people to the standards I hold myself to and haven’t had a friend in 15 years as a result. Forget about dating. Two non-negotiables are no piercings and no tattoos. They gross me out. I keep getting told that men are being forced to settle and asking why just walking away from the market isn’t an option. Part of the problem for some is what they want either doesn’t exist or …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 10:22 PM
–

I still say most people on the market aren’t worth dating. Securely attached people tend to marry earlier. You can only change yourself and if there are less viable people it is what it is. I do wonder what some of you want. So women drop out of dating and become spinsters. Yes it means less options but were you going to want to date them anyway?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/24 11:39 PM
1

Do you want my past view or my new perspective? My perspective up until a year or so ago:Why wouldn’t I hold people to the same standard I hold myself to? It’s like when I vet people by seeing how they react to me not being able to drink due to medical issues. Why would I lower my standards just because others have none? New perspective:That’s my default. I assume it’s my issues with theory of the mind acting up and what I’ve always called my autopilot. Apparently it’s disassociation. I assume t…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/24 10:41 PM
1

That’s blunt. If you tell someone you go I hout with “Hey I learned about this new sex,massage etc technique want to try it out?” you’d probably get some takers. It might require focusing on them first and will require being open to correction but that can be fun. Women are especially variable. I know one lady who mainly orgasms with penetration and is too sensitive for direct clit stimulation so the mainstream advice doesn’t work for her.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/24 10:52 PM
2

I’m in Texas so it being a 2nd felony to buy is a legit concern and reason not to. I’ve asked the “go get a sex worker” people what those in this sort of situation should do and haven’t had a response beyond “move”. Honestly visiting a sex worker as a student to learn isn’t a bad idea. My virgin self looked into learning and scientific materials, due to my extreme beliefs around sex and you can go pretty far with that. If the stories I’ve heard from people are true then having sex with a lot of …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/24 09:30 PM
7

There is a higher amount of ND individuals here. Black and white thinking is common with us. Add in being literal, having unexamined covert contracts, theory of mind issues, etc to that and it’s not surprising.All things I’m working on myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/24 08:36 PM
0

I think OP has the same idea as me. I view marriage as a business arrangement to raise kids. Think of a political marriage between friends. Love and fidelity aren't even in the top ten requirements for me. Luckily I'm infertile so it's not something I'd do anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/24 12:23 AM
1

I was just watching that video OP. Marriage, for me, is a financial arrangement for the raising of kids. I'm infertile anyway and I have been on the side of getting rid of the legal arrangement as it is. To be fair I kind of forget that it exists as I only acknowledge it when I have no other choice. The idea that a spouse has to be your everything gets toxic. In my experience, exclusivity goes beyond just being faithful to each other. All of the other traits switch from coming from the outside a…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/24 12:14 AM
3

They are designed to keep people, mainly men, on them. So yes for the company and no for the average person.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/24 05:05 PM
1

We are wired to be verbal and relational as a sex. Women do tend to have larger social circles and structures.We are often the social keepers and the idea of girl world and the status of it still lives on in adult women. Are men quick to judge their friend’s partners and demand they stop dating them be cause they make the group look bad? I’ve seen this happen in adult female friend groups. A quick killer of a relationship is your partner not having any hobbies, no job, no friends, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/24 04:55 PM
1

A huge red flag for anyone. Either they are the problem or their picker is broken so they need a therapist not a boyfriend. We want to be treated how WE think we should be treated.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 10:06 PM
4

We know that autistic female brains have similar structures to non-autistic male brains. Autistic male brains seem to be their own thing. I grew up hearing Asperger’s is a male brain thing. I’ve always gotten along with guys more. The nuances of female power games has always confused me. Granted I do have trauma around women.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 10:00 PM
3

The human brain is very adaptable. My FtM brother was born at 26 weeks and is missing parts of his brain. I was born 36 weeks with brain damage. Neither of us can do much math to save our souls but all of the important things are there. He has a Master’s degree.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 09:44 PM
3

Part of it depends on location. I’m in an area where most people are at least slightly overweight. There aren’t many options for non-overweight women who are single and not crazy.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 07:24 PM
1

I spent from 7-22 depressed, at least passively suicidal, and at some point, the undiagnosed Bipolar Disorder reared its head but was obscured by the combo-ADHD. I graduated high school in 2008 and finally got my associate's degree in 2013.I am AuDHD and have NVLD. I am an extrovert-leaning ambivert so I can chat up about anyone it's the whole keeping them around is a thing that I never learned. My last attempt was 12 1/2 years ago but I never emotionally grew out of being that emotionally distu…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 04:28 PM
1

My parents asked my doctor if 11 year old me was a sociopath. My reaction at 11 to 9/11 was “How come they got to die?”If I didn’t go the traditional female route I would have been done something terrible.My brother had some of the same teachers as me 7 years later and they freaked out when they saw our last name. As it is I can get into the mind of a school shooter all too well. My vindictive side wants people to suffer more than I suffered so I have to keep a lid on it. My arrested development…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 09:47 PM
6

We’re also more likely to develop mental health issues due to how we’re wired.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 09:04 PM
3

Those covert contracts will get you every time. When I asked a guy out he said I have a shitty personality which isn’t wrong. I haven’t had friends in 15 years for a reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 08:57 PM
2

Yeah, wouldn’t most people? Most of us want things to favor us. You’ll be criticized regardless so might as well have it benefit you. Our lizard brains are conflicting with current day realities and people’s attachment issues don’t help. It’s from very young ages. My family advice was let the baby cry it out so they could self regulate as late as 2018.Comforting the child would interfere with the process…I didn’t learn until last year that we aren’t born with that ability.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 07:23 PM
1

There’s nothing wrong with having hobbies you like for yourself. Dating someone with no hobbies, no friends, no life other than you is terrible and I’ve never seen a healthy relationship where one partner only has their partner. It’s suffocating when it’s just between friends much less partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 07:17 PM
1

Say it louder for those in the back. I don’t know why this is so hard for people to understand. Talk to any lottery winner and ask them how many “friends” they have.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/24 04:23 PM
1

They are narcissists that make themselves look good physically and socially. Anxious and fearful-avoidant people are drawn to avoidants. The love bombing feels great when you internalized that no one is coming to help you. This is where inspiring dread does work on certain people but it isn’t a healthy dynamic. Our attachment is mainly from when we were very young. A child needs consistent care from an ongoing dedicated caregiver for the first 3 years of life.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/24 04:16 PM
–

We are more privileged. The thing that confuses me about the idea of privilege is most people would do the same if they were in the privileged. If have it then don’t use it you get shit but if you do use it yet more shit. I’m going to push back on something. You can be both disadvantaged on a cultural level but have person issues/defects to work on. If I someone who was told that my personality was shit to my face, am saying that your attitude/personality/outlook is tripping you up I mean it. Un…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/24 10:18 PM
1

Some of that is cultural especially in a country as diverse and large as the US. I don’t remember many single mom’s in my circle growing up. A couple were war widows,9/11 happened when I was 11, but extended family filled in the gaps. Blended families with productive co-parenting and two parent households were the norm. I grew up in the lower part of the pre-2008 upper middle class in Texas. Granted we had shot gun weddings in 2006 so there’s that.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/24 10:05 PM
3

I was told that my personality was shit after asking out a guy. When I asked people I know well if it’s true they either said yes or couldn’t look at me. A bit rude but it has had a great impact on me. It’s the people who won’t give feedback when honestly asked for that get me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/24 08:08 PM
1

I’m one of the women who doesn’t receive romantic/sexual male attention. Unless they are faking their “gross you’re like a sister.” reaction to me. Polite indifference is fine. I’m too combo-ADHD/NVLD to ever truly blend in but guys don’t start up convos. Women will follow me though.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 08:05 PM
2

This seems like a Serotonin vs Dopamine based thing. The former is slower to kick in but longer lasting. Add in Dopamine deficiency (I feel we are starting to see technology induced ADHD type symptoms), attachment issues, past experiences ,etc and you have a mess.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 04:27 PM
1

They confuse being asocial and socially anxious with being an introvert. I’m an extrovert leaning Ambivert so I have more leeway.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 04:20 PM
10

I’ve been told “you makes us look bad” and “this will make men think that this is okay” about many things. There is so much grifting. Hyper domesticity kink is a thing. Some women start with/are gearing their content towards other woman in the community. Some go viral while others continue their community focused efforts.There is some admitted jealousy/envy but that’s another conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 04:05 PM
2

I didn’t get my first smart phone until 2016 at 26. TBF I spend my time reading on my phone , playing phone games and going on ADHD side quests.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 03:59 PM
–

Yeah. I was already emotionally immature so this didn’t help me at all. I haven’t changed much in two decades other than weight gain based changes and hormonal based changes.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 11:05 PM
3

It’s an over correction. I was raised in a household where only good emotions and anger were allowed so now I get angry when I’m sad. It’s a pain for us overthinkers though.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 08:37 PM
–

We tend to start puberty earlier so we often physically mature faster. I started puberty at 6 so I had a huge mix match.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 08:33 PM
2

The US is approaching 75% overweight or obese with the Anglosphere catching up with us. Now there are multiple reasons for that including pre-digested foods. I do live where seeing someone who is only slightly overweight much less thin is less common. There are guys who can find someone to date but they don’t want those women. That’s fine but don’t lie.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 09:20 PM
5

This is one reason fathers are so important and kids should be able to rough house. Testosterone does lower inhibitions. You see this cats and dogs. Their siblings and the adults moderate their behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 05:56 PM
1

I’m a AuDHD female. Not being able to read social cues is real and it’s either that or just anti-social behavior. I have face blindness and NVLD. One thing that usually trips me up is I’m used to talking and walking with people so when I’ve dealt with people who want the opposite things get awkward.I can see this being something. I haven’t progressed beyond toddler me trying to pet a moose so there’s that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 09:11 PM
5

In what context? I’m in a female dominate family that speaks passive aggressiveness as a first language. I bounce between types but the “I’m going to ignore you so you’ll take hint but then be even more pissed when you can’t read my mind.” Is real. There is a difference between withholding affection and sex and not wanting to have sex or be affectionate. If you are in a relationship then the former is especially not appropriate. I’m on the side of most people flirt as it is just human nature. I …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 08:58 PM
2

Yep. Fear-Avoidant checking in.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 11:43 PM
1

Never. I do attract drunk chicks though.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 11:42 PM
3

I know men who would be classified as Chads. They may have had a playboy era but most settled down with a wife and kids. Often after working on their attachment issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 11:37 PM
1

That’s so young. Full retirement is 67. Many retire at 65. You can start drawing Social Security at 62 but max benefits happen at 70.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 07:44 PM
3

There is a link between Autism and older parents. There is also a hereditary link. All of the parents I know who had kids in their 30s and 40s wished they had them sooner.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 07:40 PM
1

If there is a biological attraction aspect to peaking wouldn’t be based on our lizard brains not modern society? To be honest I’ve seen those who work on their health and fitness at 35+ and they look younger and better than they did 10+ years before.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 07:31 PM
2

I don’t know but it’s disturbing how widespread it has become. I didn’t realize what emeshment was until last year. I grew up in a family with nosey emotionally immature women. The less malicious but still harmful is fairly common. The less malicious type happened to me due to having helicopter parents. I live with mom due to multiple disabilities on both sides and we have co-dependency issues. She is basically my defacto guardian. We are both ND so that does affect things. Mom is divorced but t…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 01:28 AM
1

Pretty much.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 12:05 AM
1

I honestly don’t know. There’s only so much you can control.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 11:43 PM
1

It’s very much an “It’s not your fault but it’s your responsibility to work on it.” situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 09:16 PM
1

Not for adults or non-traditional autistics. We know certain interventions are best done before the age of 12. I’m an Aspie who was diagnosed at 11 when it was considered a mostly social disorder. Moderate to severe support needs for kids and sometime teens and young adults are usually severed. I was told I was to old for services in my mid-20s and private services can be costly.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 08:39 PM
2

Covert incest is creepy regardless. Father/daughter seems to be more acceptable to some extent. Enmeshment in general seems to fairly social acceptable. Probably a bad women/childish man things.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 08:32 PM
2

Anxiously attached persons run after Avoidantly attached persons. Women are more likely to be anxiously attached but PPD is preoccupied attachment central. I’m fearful-avoidant which complicates things even more.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 08:27 PM
3

This is what gets left out. My young boomer parents were children during the height of second wave feminism. I was raised by a female dominated family with the idea that men are mostly good but they also are basically extra kids. Is it any wonder people are confused? Women are starting to come around in some quarters and no one likes or trust us. Both sexes are under the weight of the the minority that controls how we are seen. Those living through this right now didn’t start this. We are culpab…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 08:25 PM
1

That goes to what are you looking for? A man who is gorgeous but has a shitty personality and sucks in bed can land them at least once. Some of us realize how much our personalities repel people. I certainly didn’t until I asked a guy out (I have face blindness but his face was balanced) and he told me I have a shit personality. People with secure attachments don’t act like this. I know people with secure attachments and when I explain from a fearful-avoidant (often correlated with abuse/neglect…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 08:15 PM
1

Looks are more important online. Everyone I know who found a partner either did it in person or online in a RPG. If you want to keep a partner personality becomes more important. There are men that those into men go gaga over but there are never any repeats. Could be a trauma response but I assume they suck in bed and personality from what I’ve heard. Anxious Attachments run after Avoidant Attachments.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 08:07 PM
10

Sometimes there is no fault. I don’t believe there is someone for everyone. There have always been people that never had a partner. I will say that I see individuals not take accountability for their role. This is a human characteristic. I am a woman who was rejected due to my “shitty personality”. It isn’t your fault but it is your responsibility to deal with it. Personality is a big part of attracting a mate. Unfortunately more and more people have insecure attachment and trauma especially tra…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 03:47 PM
1

Girls can be so mean so I don’t doubt it. I’ve never been great at masking because I am so combo-ADHD forward and I also have NVLD so I am very verbal anyway. Growing up as an Aspie I was told that it is a social disorder that shouldn’t interfere too much.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/24 02:52 PM
–

They really are. I have known people that demand that their partners must literally be externally enthusiastic.Tbh they have been trying to convince me body autonomy and consent can actually exist so obviously the message is lost on me. These are also people that yelled at me for tapping someone on the shoulder because they couldn’t hear me over their music or injuries caused by my visual spatial issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/24 02:50 AM
1

The monotone voice thing is so much more apparent in men. Not sure if it is the brain difference thing again or what. I have face blindness so my uncanny valley tends to shift. I’m terrified of drag queens and clowns because they wear gargoyle masks. I see the most prominent features so I can tell how things fit.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 06:45 PM
1

In the past many of these men would often be in wars/used as canon fodder, struggling as low/under classes, in religious service or otherwise hidden if they survived into adulthood at all. The Autistic traits don’t help anything. I’m on team I’d take a cure Yesterday and have been kicked out of groups because I disagreed that it’s a positive thing and that we should learn skills to integrate into society more. Being an Aspie female means certain things are overlooked which is a double-edge sword…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 06:40 PM
1

Feeling entitled: covert contacts being full filled and demanding the outcome from that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 06:27 PM
1

One’s reaction says a lot about them and not the other person. As an Aspie female things like my amygdala I are more like a non-autistic males so maybe I can help. First anger is always a cover or co-occurring emotion. Second is how you say it. Third be open to feedback. 20 something me relates to many of the personalities here and that’s not a good thing. Try this: You are part of the problem. They are part of the problem. Maybe your covert contracts are going awry, your lifestyle choices don’t…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 08:06 PM
1

That’s way less than most people make it sound. Granted my brain automatically tends to consider anything under 60% to be irrelevant. Not sure what damage caused that reaction. Makes my rule of meeting new people out in public more rational. All of my abusers, other than the under 12 year old males, were so I trust men more than women. I do live in an area where we don’t have consistent sidewalks so walking around is dangerous.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 10:59 PM
1

Even warm or cool approaches have merit but they are never talked about. I know men who asked a classmate or fellow volunteer to go have coffee or get some lunch. I do go by having a getting to know you once or twice before fully trying to date or just having a causal first date myself which people don’t like. All of this is in public and low key. I do have dulled senses due to my Cerebral Palsy so I can’t taste the difference anyway and Iw as taught to not order the most expensive thing if some…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 10:39 PM
9

Men want women who are capable, competent and don’t need them but want them and give over power by choice. Hyper-independence is a trauma/insecure attachment reaction. We’re dealing reactions rooted in early childhood and life experiences. If you were a parentifed child and learned that people were unsafe and not there for you when you cried why would you rely on others? Neither side wants to be venerable hence the rise in murky situations ships. One of the hardest things I had to learn is your …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 10:26 PM
1

This. I tried and it blew up in my Fearful-Avoidant face.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 03:44 PM
1

How many men here even have close friends and/or family? That person you can call and talk, go for a run, play a game, and etc whatever your processing type is. Hyperfixations not withstanding if one is so focused on one goal to the exclusion of and determinant of other goals. Desperation is not hot. Unfortunately the past bad experiences can feed into and cause the current issues. A securely attached person tends to pair up early and prefer another securely attracted person. Zoomers are more in…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 03:39 PM
-1

Most of us.I was laughed at and told I have a shitty personality. Now I get told I’m like a little sister even if I’m older than them.Not sure how non-autistic women fare but I am an extrovert leaning ambivert with control issues so being passive isn’t my default. Judging by people I know if you are fat and up for anything, have trauma/attachment issues or manage to seek out a like match things go well. Most of the couples I know are fat. If you have crippling shyness, want an actual relationshi…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/24 03:40 PM
2

I agree location does play a part in it. I’d expect different interactions if I was in a coffee shop, a library or a night club. I worked the entire time during Covid Minus four weeks. I saw how people’s social graces plummeted. Most of the self imposed hurdles are social anxiety related. That’s not the same as being an introvert. Risk mitigation going into overdrive. Yes means Yes does doesn’t take into account people’s perspectives. No means no seems to forget that maybe or later are things. S…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 02:58 AM
3

I have issues with the idea that enthusiastic consent being the only thing you need.Way to punish shy people. My past does make it hard for me to believe that bodily autonomy or consent actually exists. Add to it my need to have my communication to be verbal because I can’t read body language and things get stupid fast. People get so weird. I do have visual-spatial issues and talk with my arms. I doubt complete consent could even be hypothetically possible because we all see things differently. …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 12:44 AM
–

The person who made promises and vows is the responsible one. The AP is a shitty person who is responsible in regards to any partner they have. Sociopaths, Psychopaths, etc not withstanding.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 12:32 AM
0

More than this sub thinks but less than the general public thinks. Conservatively at least 60-65%. My caveats are: I’m including all options including those that go against personal preferences.Most people I know are evenly matched. I am in one of the fattest areas in the entire country. “Don’t be fat, have good hygiene and don’t be objectively creepy” goes for both sexes. Looking at my area and circle I know very few involuntary single adults. The ones I do know are walking sterotypes.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 12:21 AM
1

I’ll argue with a light post does that count?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 12:04 AM
1

There are things that aren’t my favorite things to do but I do them because someone I love lights up and is in their element.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 07:30 PM
1

Okay I have no dog in this fight and have emotion blindness as well as face blindness. Attractiveness is a cover to an extent. If we are confused about why we are turned off physical appearance is an easy go to especially online. Personalities are a your mileage may vary thing. Women don’t respect men that need them we respect men that choose to be with us and want us. It absolutely can be both your personality and be that they are shallow. When I asked a guy out he laughed at me and told me my …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/24 07:10 PM
2

Can’t have that/s I was surprised that they said the quiet part out loud. I’ve mainly had neutral or positive* experiences with boys/men. This also offends them. I’ve decided there are some matches made in hell. *I have issues with assigning blame to a literal child who watched his dad torture his mom so I don’t really count the preteen.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 02:10 AM
1

Yeah. I was told by feminists that I should talk about my female abusers because it gives men license to talk badly about women. That was enlightening and explains some things.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 03:52 PM
1

Casting a wide net can backfire o men.Desperation isn’t sexy. If you hold higher standards for who you want you have more leverage. Part of it is serotonin vs dopamine.It does depend on what women you are chasing after. Apps skew more towards the Dopamine chasers.unfortunately sometimes what you want just doesn’t exist. Porn, in all mediums,does raise the libido in both sexes.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 03:49 PM
2

I agree. Women are more relational in general. Both by nature and nurture. Testosterone leads to low inhibitions which I can attest to as a woman with higher T levels. Realistically speaking many of these men would have been in religious service, canon fodder, soldiers, etc it wasn’t uncommon for the sex ratio to be high skewed due to war. There wouldn’t be enough men to go around.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 03:34 PM
1

I can’t drink so I have no frame of reference for this but isn’t there a degree of drunkness. Tipsy and mildly drunk is one thing. Blackout drunk seems to be hard to pick up on. How do you specify how drunk someone needs to be? I’m a drunk wrangler and seems to vary.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 03:13 PM
2

It also depends on the country. Digital rape (meaning fingers or objects)wasn’t a thing until 2013. Some countries have it where a dick going into a hole is rape but a woman drugging or threatening a man with a machete is SA at best. The model we have is male perpetrator female victim though both being me is given at least lip service. Being a female survivor of a female perpetrator I just get told “women don’t do that.” While male survivors get told that and that “they were asking for it” and “…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 03:10 PM
1

In a way it helped me. I started looking critically at myself and tried to figure out why even I didn’t want to deal with me. It was unnecessarily harsh but I was obnoxious, unself aware and ignorant due to how I grew up at the time. When I asked others they just got uncomfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 07:12 AM
1

I was laughed at and told I have a shitty personality. He wasn’t wrong.I’ve been asked out once and just said “No, but thank you.” because in awkwardness I fall back to my manners lessons. They do say female Aspies have similar brain structures to non-autistic males.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 10:41 PM
1

Well more in general but yes. I tend to run people off before they can leave me. You either stay even with my behavior or you confirm my abandonment issues. Getting told that I’m like a little sister is better than getting told I have a shitty personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 03:39 PM
2

Ethical Non-Monogamy is gaining popularity. Sounds like an Avoidant’s nightmare though.Forming a political marriage is an option. Promiscuity and trauma often go together in my experience. Letting people tell on themselves is the way to go.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 11:54 PM
3

Nope. I don’t have much of a social media presence though. I usually get described as a weird little sister even by guys younger than me. Better than being told I have a shitty personality again.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 11:42 PM
1

Okay. It’s obvious that things have changed in the dating market. As people with secure attachment tend to pair up earlier those left on the market tend to have more issues. The ever increasing entitlement, delusion and attachment issues are just making things worse. The old ways of meeting a partner don’t really exist and more. I know women who are scared because of other people’s experiences. I say that I don’t have many of the same experiences and get told to shut up because it “makes us look…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 09:17 PM
2

To be fair for some that is the point. My main flaw is I will put as many obstacles in my way as possible so I can put in a half assed effort and say “well I couldn’t do it.” Some are trying to control and micromanage everything due to past experiences/ attachment issues. Others are as delusional as you’d think. Gen Z is has more people with insecure attachments then ever. The reasons for that are ones most don’t want to acknowledge. Those highly visible on social media already have a self selec…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 09:06 PM
1

Define effort. Once you get out of the honeymoon stage and into the monogamous LTR stage all of those feel good hormones settle down and the rose colored glasses come off. Women get out of it much sooner than men.Ideally you use this stage to build up positive habits and connections. Apathy is the ultimate relationship killer. People often have issues with being in a stable relationship especially those of us used to the rollercoaster or that need the dopamine hit. I don’t know many people who t…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 08:54 PM
2

Yeah and the average American male is 5’9 and 190lbs. In my area that would be considered skinny.In others it would be considered extremely obese. Honesty the options are: just not (try) to date, change locations or try to date a fat chick if you can’t get the skinny one. We know some of what is causing it. Ultra processed aka ultra pre- digested foods which bypass part of your digestion so your brain doesn’t register them.Anti-depressants cause weight gain. Maybe similarly to Anti-psychotics wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/24 02:42 PM
2

I sympathize with men about their role being more finite and not being taken seriously on account of their sex. I get the impression that many here view the opposite sex’s actions a deliberate infliction of harm. Most of my abusers were female and I hesitate to assign blame to a same age peer from when we were both pre-teens. I struggle with all or nothing thinking anyway. My fear of women and positive experiences with men put me in a lonely place. The outliers really mess of up the bell curve f…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/24 02:31 PM
2

Right.I considered that to be under emotionally aware but as a women with emotion blindness and issue with understanding non-verbal communication I lump all of that in the same category.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 08:00 PM
2

Yes it is. Stay here long enough and you’ll see the difference between the sexes. We are still a young species and our brains are nowhere near caught up to our current environment. That environment shapes us early on and later experiences add to it.40-50% of personality is inheritable. I find part of the problem is that when you list general female strengths you get push back from both sides. Female strengths: Higher verbal ability, better long term memory recall, more emotionally aware, an eye …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 05:36 PM
1

Covert incest is a sneaky one. This is the parent, often a mother, using their child as a surrogate spouse.Total enmeshment, co-dependence and just plain creepy couplely vibes.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 10:44 PM
2

There are manipulative people out there. I tend to attract them. I have known women who would act like they want something more to keep guys around. One ended up being a diagnosed sociopath and another an unself aware Borderliner so this is a more extreme example. It’s probably people’s covert contracts and how they grew up that has caused issues. I was taught that men never want a girl to be forward and both my male relatives and I were taught that your kindness will show and bring people to yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 06:46 PM
1

If I never see the word average again it’ll be too soon… I think I’m staring to get it now. I don’t know any men personally that haven’t been able to get in at least a couple of relationships so this discourse is odd to me. Men don’t have to offer commitment they choose to offer commitment. As my therapist told me “Your actions and choices are yours regardless of the circumstances or position you’re in.” Even if the options suck that’s what you chose to do. This includes who you pick as a partne…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 06:34 PM
0

I did know one guy that said he thought along these lines but there was a covert incest dynamic involved who knows his actual opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 06:02 PM
1

Well him not giving a damn definitely won’t make things easier. I’m with others asking why OP is with him still.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 12:09 PM
1

Well him not giving a damn definitely won’t make things easier. I’m with others asking why OP is with him still.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 12:09 PM
–

I’m a fearful-avovidant with a primarily verbal communication and processing style. Depending on which side is more prominent things can get weird. Not sure about my apology language but my giving language is mainly acts of service with an evenly mixed words of affirmation and physical touch love language. I think the server just had a stroke.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 12:05 PM
2

Sounds like a him thing. Responsive desire also messes with things even more if he isn’t doing his part.Female libido drops in monogamy and I’ve had to explain this to multiple women who were distressed about their “sudden lack of (spontaneous) desire” in 2+ year relationships. Men are more likely to have spontaneous desire. Woman are more distributed on the bell curve but we tend to have responsive desire. This automatically makes us look at sex differently. Responsive desire guys are often the…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 06:09 PM
1

Maybe I should have specified the personalities I know.In my family, including extended family, only happiness and anger were good emotions that were acceptable. Sometimes sadness but unless you’re really hurt or someone died crying wasn’t allowed. Things have loosened up considerably but the trauma is still going strong. There are at least two undiagnosed ADHDers and both are in the other side from my need to have all of the novelty. The perfectionists and control freaks,as a recovering one, I …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 05:41 PM
–

Honestly the best vetters I know have been married couples, people who have worked themselves / were the red flags at some point and securely attached people. I’m around religious people so there is a community aspect to it. We tend towards the relationships we see growing up or we learn how not to conduct a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 06:44 PM
1

I mean warm approaches are a thing. I know multiple couples who got together after doing volunteer work together or seeing each other often at the local hole-in-wall. Totally cold approaches haven’t really been a thing though a “Hey would you like to get a coffee with me” after having some minimal connection is a thing. Is it an asocial thing? I don’t know anyone whose met on a dating app but have known couples who got together due to some online activity.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 06:35 PM
1

Here’s something interesting. When men in open relationships are upfront about being married things often turn to crickets even if the wife will video chat or meet with the woman.It’s a little more easy on apps that either cater to or allow individuals/couples indicate an open relationship. If those same men don’t disclose this and they photograph well then they tend to get more bites. Intarsexual and intrasocial competition among women is fierce.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 06:29 PM
6

Nowadays your partner is supposed to be your everything. In the past it wasn’t so. Spaces were much more sex segregated. Once children were born it wasn’t unusual to just do your own thing especially before easy divorce. A dirty little secret is that women would turn a blind eye to or even encourage their husbands to discreetly find his pleasure elsewhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 05:51 PM
1

Honestly what really woke me up was someone telling me that “Your personality sucks and that’s why no one wants to be around me.” after hearing me complain for the nth time. No one else would look at me. We had a betting pool when my parents would finally divorce. He moved on and had a year with my step-mom before his final destination death at 63. Mom is still a little bitter and conflicted.I looked at that and swore I would work on developing my communication skills. I stopped trying to get in…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 05:41 PM
1

I’m in Southern Baptist country. It’s wan’t uncommon to hear “Don’t go chasing after men. Guys don’t like it when a girl is forward.” growing up. It reflects what I’ve seen in traditional dating circles.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 07:23 PM
3

If the tingles are your nervous system freaking out and trying to warn you then definitely.That first phase is a cascade of hormones and neurotransmitters. People who issues with calm and stable relationships are more likely to chase them or they’re me and start fights for the dopamine.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 07:20 PM
5

Part of it depends on how you view marriage. I view it as a contract for the raising of kids. People don’t like admitting that things went wrong. By the end of my parent’s marriage there was a betting pool.Some of it is generational/cultural. I have family members that stayed friends with their ex-spouse because they still loved each other but weren’t in love with each other. Many marriages come to an end at a crisis point. If people divorced sooner things would go better the usual suspects not …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 07:15 PM
2

Being charming and personable will get you pretty far. Some of the men I known who aren’t classically attractive but are very successful with women make people want to be around them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 04:34 PM
2

For OLD? The gender gap as far as users on the different apps varies but usually is male heavy. I’m not sure how you could ever level it out even if you could keep women on them. For dating in general. I blame our lizard brains. Cross sex mind reading is a skill that people are lacking. When it comes to human behavior you will never achieve complete equality and equity. Apparently my autistic female brain has similarities to non-autistic male brains which explains some things.As far as bell curv…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 12:04 PM
1

Not necessarily. I have to get my thoughts out of my head to process them be it by talking or writing it down. Especially since I’m around people who would rather run from Amy conflict than have a conversation. I’m actually an ambivert but also have combo-ADHD and nonverbal learning disability (NVLD) so verbal communication is my primary way of communication.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 11:54 AM
2

Like attracts like and I attract the types I mentioned. There are those who are just confident and IDGAF but I don’t attract those people yet. We know women’s libido drops in monogamy much faster than men’s. We are more likely to have responsive desire. I’ve had multiple conversations this week alone with women who were confused and frustrated that their more spontaneous desire is no longer there. There is a big difference between frequently hooking up with new partners and having a LTR hormonal…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 11:44 AM
–

If someone is agreeing with you 100% there is an issue.I would do it because I was taught that not agreeing ended badly for me growing up. There are many insecure people out there. It really depends on what type of woman you are going after. If she keeps changing positions she probably grew up being the peace maker, has no/a limited sense of self or she’s manipulative. If the women y’all keep meeting aren’t mentally sound and stable no wonder you think so badly off us. Between a global pandemic …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 11:14 AM
4

OLD does skew things as well. When you don’t have someone in front of you looks become that much more important. Some men look fine but can’t take a good picture to save their soul.Maybe use more MySpace angles?Not to mention dating apps do sneaky things like shadow banning. All of the current couples I know either met IRL or online on a non-dating site. I’ve seen people get together in podcast groups. Where I am if you are your ideal weight or a little overweight then you have a leg up. It’s no…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 09:25 AM
5

You also have those that insist that they are average but it doesn’t bare fruit. It’s the whole most people think they are middle class thing. I’m not completely unfortunate looking but I’d be overlooked if I wasn’t such an outgoing verbal processor.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 09:17 AM
–

Desperation is not an attractive look on anyone. There is a difference between needing and wanting someone. I’m fairly oblivious and even I can sense the desperation. There is also a difference between a pursuer- distancer or preoccupied-avoidant relationship and being comfortable in yourself. Ideally most of our esteem would come from ourselves but we are a social mammal.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 09:11 AM
2

That sounds like a maturity, upbringing and/or self confidence issue in her part. I remember being told that you have to play hard to get because men don’t like it when women are too forward. I do wonder what women some of y’all are meeting out in the wild. I suppose location does narrow down the type of woman you meet. I do know women who basically only go out around ovulation which means her pheromone are stronger.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 09:02 AM
1

All of the promiscuous people I’ve ever known have some trauma, attachment issues and/or a personality disorder/ mental illness.All have low self esteem. If they are chasing preoccupied attachment girls their preoccupied attached selves are going to have trouble. Those girls want avoidant attachment mem.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 08:54 AM
3

I’ve tried to ask what they consider average to mean. I’m usually told that they know they are average. Yeah about that…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 08:47 AM
6

Covert contracts. I have them in other spaces but the outcome is the same.I had a big issue with them in my 20s after I wasn’t trying to off myself. We often aren’t aware we have them. Apparently parts of a female autistics brain resemble a non-autistic male’s brain. Which explains some things.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 08:39 AM
–

Men’s testosterone drops if they aren’t around naturally cycling women. Pheromones are wild. TRT affects fertility. Forever chemicals, microplastics (that they’ve found In human hearts) and endocrine disruptioners have caused issues as well.Fat is active in secretes hormones including estrogen. Estrogen is related to verbal memory and verbal skills based tasks. I am a verbal processer myself. Honestly the effect of estrogens on the brains is fascinating. Testosterone has decreases inhibitions.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/24 07:33 PM
3

Honestly with the women I know it comes down to wanting the things to be just so, women being more relational and us making things harder on ourselves. It’s over functioning usually. Maybe we saw it growing up or learned that anything house and family related is our responsibility. It’s the whole “I can change him” anxious attachment issue.I’m terrible with taking things over because I can’t trust others to get things done.I amAuDHD so I’m a mess sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/24 04:55 AM
–

I’m class of ‘08. My young boomer parents said that I need to focus primarily on my studies and that socializing comes secondary.I’ll have time to socialize when I’m older. Unfortunately I am disabled Evan’s it’s just getting worse. Dad probably had ADHD and mom has that at least if not something else. Socialization has never been a priority for them as adults. Mom’s been at the same workplace since 1996 and dad was always in retail voluntarily. I have many classmates who did all of the AP class…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 06:21 PM
–

We have switched to a service based economy which does favor female skills. Same reason school is so hard for boys. People just don’t want to admit that there is a reason that more women choose these jobs over men.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 06:13 PM
–

Even those that can often choose not to. Higher education attainment equals no/less kids so those that can financially afford kids don’t have them. My infertile self is waiting for my biological clock to chill.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 06:06 PM
3

You’re asking attachment issues central that question? Men’s anxious attachment style is displayed differently. Some of it is us being more social in general. Also, it’s more socially acceptable for us. The anxious woman and avoidant man is a common pairing.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/24 10:35 PM
4

We evolved to reproduce and carry young like all mammals. Basically, the ancient computer system in our brain is still millennia behind our current society. Female sexual behavior is still tied to reproduction. Humans can tell compatibility by pheromones. Hormonal BC messes with that ability. I’d have to call the Vatican if I got pregnant, but I still have a ticking biological clock.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/24 10:00 PM
3

Some people are in no place to be in a relationship of most kinds. Many do need to work on their attachment issues. The number of preoccupied men here makes things tricky relationship-wise. First, you must admit that there is an issue in the first place. If every one of your relationships has been terrible, either your picker is off, or you’re the problem. Your partner can not be your everything. That Isn't healthy and will cause issues. Being around each other 24/7 is a great way to ruin a rela…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/24 09:50 PM
2

Women’s libido drops from the honeymoon phase high to its baseline in monogamy. Responsive desire kicks in and if you aren’t aware of that it can be confusing.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/24 07:39 PM
–

It’s giving fearful-avoidant vibes Does she have any platonic friendships? It’s not unusual for us to seek out manageable connections while put up obstacles. I know women who hook up because they are lonely. I’m infertile but my biological clock has still kicked in. Could be the lizard brain trying to be helpful. What did she see in her family of origin and what does she see in her circle? This also relates to attachment style. When everyone is pairing up it gets lonely. An underdeveloped sense …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/24 07:36 PM
6

And feminism has been around for over a century. My young boomer parents were kids during the second wave. The ancient computer in our heads is still set to a more primitive culture. Women are the biggest slut shamers because those that get around make things harder for the rest of us. The top and desperate members of each sex cause trouble for everyone else. Most of us here know that there is an issue which is why we're here or to point and laugh.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/24 12:54 AM
3

The demographic here is highly skewed toward younger men with little to no experience or men who have been burned before.The amount of preoccupied attachment,insecure low self esteem men who are on the spectrum is over represented.I say this as a women with a fearful-Avoidant attachment, lower self esteem, whose insecure and on the spectrum. Granted I don't know any men who haven't at least dated a little unless they decided not to.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/24 12:34 AM
2

Okay that makes sense to my Aspie self. I’ve was told that people don’t like me because my personality sucked. The idea of not telling someone that here are the things you need to work on is foreign to me as it is what I saw growing up. There are a multiple things happening: Women are supposed to be nice. Being upfront about something isn’t considered nice. We are vicious in a more psychological manner because of this. People often aren’t aware of issues they are having so they assume it’s someo…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 07:43 PM
1

What quality are the women though? Men have told me that they’d rather have multiple BSC hot chicks than none or one stable chick. Human sexuality is wild. All of the promiscuous people I know have trauma and attachment issues. Women, especially those with BPD, will use sex as a form of self-harm. Yeah yeah I know it’s not an option for many men. Men I’ve talked to have said that it wasn’t a pleasant experience and that you can absolutely tell the difference. Some had to get restraining orders. …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 06:16 PM
2

This was small town rural East Texas in the mid-late 60s. From what was has described they had some sort of developmental disability. Not sure how severe given the low threshold of the place and time. If a family member went away due to TB or Polio that was given as the reason. The oldest members of my family growing up in the 90s and 2000s were born in the early 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 05:26 PM
2

I’m on team brain damage and trauma for myself but people get offended. It’s very annoying. Trying to get people to agree that our brains are ancient computers and that modern society is extremely new which means that innate processes will conflict with it is like pulling teeth. We can find compatible partners by pheromones and hormonal BC interrupts that process. I’m an ex-liberal almost leftist and I also dabbled in further right wing stuff. Now I’m a dirty center it’s so both sides hate me bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 04:26 AM
3

Okay I get that it messes up the market. What can you do about it? Letting delusional people take themselves out of the pool is a good thing. You can’t change their behavior and if men stop paying attention to them then they’ll get slapped by reality. I’m speaking from the context of a dating and/or committed relationship. I’m used to the first dates being completely public and casual with sex not entering the equation at first. I, and others included red pill guys, have said that those around u…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 04:12 AM
-1

Eh a lot of black pill is people who never got out of the anger stage in a productive manner or blue pill people who had an awaking experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 03:54 AM
1

I tend to not get along with people who are too similar to me personality wise. I also would take a cure yesterday and believe the ND (I consider it a slur like queer which also makes people mad) movement has gone off the rails and isn’t always realistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 12:01 AM
3

You can change if you are attracted to garbage people by working on your attachment issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/24 11:44 PM
0

I was diagnosed with Asperger’s and ADHD at 11. We were told it is a social disorder and learning disability respectively. My behavior that year was such that when my brother had some of the same teachers SEVEN years later seeing our last name caused a panic attack. I haven’t had friends since 2008 and haven’t made them since 2004. My stuck ages are 8,11 and 14 so my socialization is stuck 20 years ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/24 11:40 PM
3

I’ve wondered if it’s X chromosome related. We can have one turn off so it’s a 50-50 shot while if men have it as a dominant trait or two recessive trait they’re screwed.I also think some of these conditions that we are putting under the same label are related to but not the same as or same symptoms different cause. The DSM is symptom based. I have multiple areas of brain damage in areas that would cause said symptoms. Heritability of personality is 40-50% but upbringing and environment have a h…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/24 11:33 PM
11

Given that Autism is correlated with older parents as well as genetics It might happen at some point. Many of these men would have been canon fodder, locked away, had a keeper or otherwise be forgotten. My mom remembers some relatives that “acted funny” and then being told that they were “going away for a while” in the 60s. She never saw them again.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/24 11:21 PM
0

As someone who used to be leftist. This is totally a thing and it is so cult like. Personally I saw a huge shift around 2012 but it was around before that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/24 11:11 PM
2

I still have a ways to go to change my attachment but I’m already finding it tedious to be around those who don’t want to change. It’s very much a “It’s not your fault but it’s your responsibility” type thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/24 06:34 PM
1

Child rearing most likely. It’s a lizard brain thing like many of our actions. As mammals our bodies goal is to reproduce. Yes I know not every woman wants to and/or can have kids. I’m infertile but my biological clock is still ticking away. The best arrangement for raising a child is with two married biological parents. Adopted kids tend to well probably due the time and expense involved. Children of co-habituating couples fare worse as the average lifespan of the relationship is 5 years. The c…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 08:33 PM
2

I agree. I have traits that irritate ME and cause arguments with others with the same ones.At worst people give me the little sister treatment but mostly I’m considered a quirky.Guys with similar traits get worse treatment. I have multiple areas of brain damage which complicates things. I did have to take communication,socialization and home ec classes growing up.I also would take a cure for my AuDHD yesterday and people hate that opinion.No amount of accommodation will make me fully functional.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 08:04 PM
1

Boundaries and getting rid of covert contracts. I get angry when people don’t hold up their end of the agreement that they don’t know about and never agreed to.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 07:03 PM
1

It made things make sense. There are still some things I’m curious about but I assume I don’t remember for a reason. I processed some bodily sensations that I didn’t know the cause of. Now I know and I just don’t have a reaction to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 01:49 AM
2

Yep. Abandonment issues suck. My two stuck points are 8 years old and 14 years old. I met them during EMDR and made the 8 year old cry. Apparently I blamed myself for some things that happened.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 04:41 PM
3

I’m having issues just making friends as it is. My therapist told 11 year old me that I “run people away before they can leave you.” I also get mad that people can’t mind read my convert contracts. I had the same type of thinking as many here for years. I had to come to the conclusion that I am the common denominator. I will say doing trauma work while still trying to change my attachment style does bring out the resentment.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 06:27 AM
3

The fast food place I worked at had a large SAHM group that would come in before Covid. A SAHD joined and I started getting questions about why he was there with a little girl. A couple of Vietnam vet would come in with their granddaughters but didn’t face the same scrutiny. The public is stupid. I had a woman complain to my manager and the higher ups because I was too nice while she was yelling at me. Their faces were priceless.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 03:23 AM
10

Yep. I am working on being okay with being bored. The ADHD and Fearful-Avoidant attachment style hate it. I can say that the securely attached people I know pick sane partners. The scarcity mindset and covert contracts are working against men.Especially since there are so many Fearful-Avoidants and preoccupied attachments here. You can get shadow banned on dating apps even if you are paying. Swiping on every woman with can cause this to happen because the algorithm thinks you have no standards. …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 03:16 AM
6

I’ve asked out men before, I was laughed at, as non-verbal communication is confusing to me and I keep getting accused of flirting with people. I don’t see why asking someone to get a coffee or a bite to eat seems to be viewed as an odd move. Even if it goes no where you might make a friend who can vet you and introduce you to women she knows.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/24 09:02 PM
2

The female libido drops in monogamy. We are also more likely to have responsive desire. This is newer info for me and I follow this sort of thing. Most women aren’t aware of this and will blame the man because idealization has worn off. They may have also married women with a low libido, who is squeamish or sex negative and after the honeymoon stage it goes to its basis line. Blame the NRE aka hormones. Porn, in any medium, will artificially boost your libido.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/24 08:56 PM
2

Considering how men reveling abuse is treated I don’t blame them.Covert incest is hard enough to untangle as it is. I I feel that a not so small amount of men here were raised by female caregivers or with female relatives/friends who required the them to center her emotional state. I grew up with a mentally ill mother. It wasn’t done maliciously but did affect me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/24 10:11 PM
7

Oh it is depressing and creepy. If you are trying to fight your child’s partner for their affection and attention then something’s up. Enmeshment isn’t good but this dials it to 11.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/24 09:30 PM
6

Seriously. There’s enmeshment and then there’s covert incest. All of these mom’s trying to fight their son’s girlfriend/wife for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/24 09:21 PM
9

Covert incest or using your child as a surrogate spouse is way too common.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/24 07:36 PM
1

It is interesting who is considered attractive in various places. I feel the same about people being considered average.My areas average and your areas average are on the opposite sides of the spectrum. I had this “I won’t fail if I don’t start or give something a chance” at one point. It still will pop up like a weed at times.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 09:17 PM
1

It’s more about the mindset. There are people who require their partner to be conventionally hot and will belittle and refuse to date people that look like them while complaining they can’t find anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 09:06 PM
1

Do you mean he’s not sex repulsed? That would make some things easier. There are some of us aces who are engage in sex because it feels nice or we like seeing our partner happy. Asexuality is just a lack of sexual attraction to others. There are those of us with normal libidos it just isn’t directed at anyone. Plus we are often not fluffed up by porn (both written and visual) keeping it at a normal range. Responsive desire folks might be able to understand best. You start feeling desire during t…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 06:05 PM
1

The largest demographic on Reddit is Americans and 70% of us are at least overweight so it really is location dependent. Where I am being slightly to moderately overweight equals not fat. I’m borderline class 3 obese and keep having people tell me I’m just a little overweight…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 05:47 PM
1

It might be the Autism/AuDSD thing/introvert/weird kid thing as well as the bitterness thing. I haven’t made friends since 2004 and haven’t had friends since 2008. Being a female people have a higher tolerance for my…quirks but I have been told I make some feel uncomfortable. Apparently you aren’t supposed to observe and study people and see what they are interested in so you have an in to speak to them. My masking isn’t great unless I’m doing southern formal masking. After my mental health got …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 05:31 PM
1

Yeah. I was raised in a family where you don’t embarrass the family by letting it slip to outsiders that there are any issues. Que perfectionist tendencies and swinging the other way.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/24 08:50 PM
2

Does anyone, especially control freaks, want to admit that their subconscious has more control over them then they’d like? I have known women with 20+ bullet point lists of needs. They also happen to have issues getting close to others, especially men, so the length is a feature not a bug. One thing I’ve observed is women tend to notice the whole person and how balanced their features/attributes are while men are more to notice certain features/ attributes.There are signs of health that both sex…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/24 08:23 PM
2

Maybe it’s just my Aspie self but a “Do you want to get a coffee or bite to eat?” is a good way to start.There are others around for safety but you’re able to carry on a conversation. I suck at non-verbal communication and rely heavily on tone for context while as being touchy feely and usually friendly. I’ve had multiple people tell me to quit flirting with their partners. The few guys I tried asking out went “uh you’re like my little sister. No thanks.” Two of them were younger than me…This wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/24 08:08 PM
1

If it’s just casual dates it’s easier to just pay for yourself at first. I was taught to not order the most expensive thing when someone else pays.I have no problem paying for myself but it will limit restaurant options unless you want to contribute more.It does depend on what the date is. Consider dinner and a movie. Maybe one person pays for movies stuff and the other pays for the food. If it’s an exclusive relationship but you aren’t living together then maybe switch off. The person with the …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/24 07:50 PM
0

I can’t tell if I’m having an Aspie moment or what. Obviously if it the same woman tell her to go sit on a cactus. If a woman didn’t know you when you were younger why are you judging her based on what other women have done? We, rightfully so, get called out when we compare current partners to past ones. Why try to cause issues if there aren’t any? Careful if she has a father wound it makes things messy. I’ve known men who have gotten over their covert contacts, worked on their attachment issue …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 11:19 PM
-2

Are we assuming women are doing this on purpose? Biology is weird. Hormonal BC changes mate preferences. As does attachment issues and trauma.You don’t have to take the advice. One thing that has always confused me is the idea that women that wouldn’t have chosen you when they were young shouldn’t go after you when you’re older. If they aren’t the same woman and you’re in a new place how do you know that’s the case? The lack of cross sex mind reading and assumptions really cause issues. Look I k…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 09:33 PM
1

My own bias is against women as most of my abusers were women. People love to push back against me on this fact.The boys who molested me were same age preteen peers. I’ve had neutral to positive experiences with men.I do tend to attract women with personality disorders though. I absolutely understand protecting children from POS.Sounds like the women I know and the men you know are a match made in hell.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 04:51 PM
3

I will say all of the millennial and zoomer parents I know live out in the boonies. They planned it that way. I’ve always lived in the ‘burbs myself so that’s my frame of reference. All of them started having kids by their mid-20s. Our parents always said they wished they had started having kids in their 20s. None of us have any desire for a high powered career so that doesn’t factor into things. Humans need consistent responsive care for the first three years of life. Be it a parent, relative, …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 11:47 PM
3

Those that are in the best position to have kids tend to not have kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 06:17 PM
0

In this context it means lacking confidence. They are insecure but that’s not a moral failing. There are definitely couples who make these sorts of jokes with each other. I suppose it’s a boundary thing. Ideally your security should be internal.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 06:12 PM
1

My therapist told me “Your actions are your actions regardless of the circumstances. You need to accept them and forgive yourself.” This was in the context of mental illness but it fits regardless.If you pick a bad or incompatible partner. You’re the one that decided to have children with them (this is obviously in the context of a consensual relationship and I was taught to pick men that you’d be okay having children with) it doesn’t mean it’s your fault but it is your responsibility to learn f…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 06:04 PM
2

I grew up with most of my mom’s family within an hours of us and my dad’s family within 7 hours of us. I grew up with two married biological parents and saw my extended family frequently a practice that lives on to this day. I was also a very sheltered kid and didn’t realize my experience wasn’t the reality for many. How would that be classified nuclear with extended family?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 05:52 PM
4

That’s been my experience. I know people who say men shouldn’t be around children at all and they all have trauma around fathers and men in general. They also tend to be the covert incest moms.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 05:47 PM
1

Exactly while living with safe married biological parents is the best thing it’s better to be in a single parent home than be around abuse. Children of single mothers with live in boyfriends are the most likely to be abused. As are foster kids.Children of co-habitating biological parents fare worse than married biological parents. This tracks with what I’ve witnessed.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 05:44 PM
1

No problem. From what I’ve read and my own experience we seem to have lower progesterone production. I’ve done some DNA based studies and I have genes that relate to lower progesterone and estrogen production or the inability to use them efficiently.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 05:14 PM
1

Why not all three? It probably goes back to early ancestors like many of these things. Women tend to view their partners physically as a whole. From what I can tell men tend to focus on certain physical aspects. Intrasex competition between women is vicious. The competitiveness is a big part of it. We want to be the best so when a man has been vetted our lizard brains go “Oh he is a strong mate material I want the best for my offspring” It’s just the ancient computer running its programming. Now…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 07:31 AM
1

PCOS. I have Cerebral Palsy and early or late puberty is common with us same with PCOS.I started puberty at 6. I was diagnosed in 2007 at 17. They were looking at putting me on Accutane for severe acne and greasy skin.The excess testosterone made me grow hair on my chest and the lower part of my chin. I was on spirolactone for a while to bring down my levels. I have insulin resistance and make too much insulin.I was having frequent what I now know are low blood sugar symptoms My fasting blood su…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 02:35 AM
2

A child acting out sexually is usually a sign of abuse. Are minors capable of doing horrendous things? Of course. The stories about female teachers SAing their students use “had sexual with” or “had a relationship with” while male teachers get much harsher and accurate language. In the Middle Ages women were considered the horny ones. The idea that men always want it regardless of circumstances is a damaging stereotype. Though with porn artificially fluffing up the libido it makes things more di…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/24 05:14 PM
5

A wood chipper. I’ve heard men say “Young me would have liked it but young me was also dumb and wouldn’t have understood everything.” Which fair enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/24 06:45 AM
6

These are the same people who go on about how underreported it is. I don’t understand why they don’t have a gender neutral one either. Wouldn’t it be even more important to study the differences in female and male perpetrators?Those of us with different stories from the norm deserve help as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/24 06:42 AM
12

Mr.Chippy needs to be fed. It’s so gross. I can’t say for certain how wide spread it is but it definitely further than I want to see.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/24 06:34 AM
5

Testosterone lowers risk taking inhibitions. Before my high testosterone was treated I was fighting everyone. I can’t even imagine how it is For men. I’ve been called creepy before. A mixture of visual-spatial issues, inability to read most non-verbal body language and assuming things are constant has ended up with me following people. Most of the people I’m surrounded by will walk and talk. In these cases it was not welcomed. Men in general don’t read body language as well as women though past …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/24 06:26 AM
2

Women tend to psychologically and emotionally abuse their victims more. I’d take another beating over going through that again with my female abuser. One guy I knew was hit with a large skillet by his ex.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/24 06:11 AM
47

I’m a CSA survivor of female perpetrators and keep getting “women don’t do that” Male survivors get that and insults thrown their way. I have heard people say that when a grown woman SAs a male child that it’s his fault. I’ve known male domestic abuse survivors and the ‘ole “You’re bigger than her. You should have stopped her.” gets brought up.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/24 06:03 AM
3

I heard a comment recently that men “often young men aren’t around that many women/girls in a positive way growing up.” which I agree with. In the past you’d have their mother, sisters, other female relatives and the girls/women in the community. I’m willing to bet that many men here were taught to center their mother’s and maybe their sisters’ emotions and in turn other female authority figures. Men and women, in general, have vastly different communication styles which causes misunderstandings…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/24 05:27 PM
2

I’ve always used it and understood it to be a synonym for decide on. It’s a neutral to positive phrase for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/24 04:35 PM
3

The only time I’ve seen it work was in the context of a Femdom relationship and mainly because finding a rhyming word wasn’t easy. I’ve heard it said unironically and those marriages crashed and burned.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/24 02:02 AM
1

Nowadays mostly 2. Younger me would be mostly 1. I might be a little cranky. I had to center my family’s emotions growing up. For some of them stating what you want plainly is presumptuous so I had to learn to be indirect in order to escape their lecture.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/24 01:47 AM
–

Fat women often don’t want fat men. Fat men seem to vary more on whether they want fat women or not. It’d probably be fit with fit, few fit/fat combos and a bunch of complaining fat people. That said it really depends on location. I’m still class 2 obese even when my high lean body mass is taken into consideration. Around here if you’re under 300lbs then you are considered “not that fat”
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 01:15 AM
1

I tend to think that relationships are deeper than they actually are, have boundary issues, tend to be friendly and I have visual-spatial issues. The result is people will assume I’m flirting. I’ve had multiple partners tell me to back off. Emotional intimacy is something many men find only in romantic relationships. This leads to miscommunications. There’s nothing inherently wrong with crushing on a friend. Limerence is a hell of a state and can cause issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 06:07 PM
–

There are too many people who need to work on themselves before they even think to look for a partner.Many of the conditions we put in place, especially for those of us inexperienced at an older age, are due to insecurity, anxiety and resentment. Woman will judge you based on their ex if said ex was abusive, cheated or was wonderful. The drop of the female libido and change to more responsive desire in monogamy isn’t a well known fact. She’ll go back to her baseline. People aren’t terribly self …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 06:42 AM
–

I agree. Unless you’re going for a female led relationship of some kind best keep the way it is. If it’s casual dating it’s not as bad but it has its faults as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 06:11 AM
2

That’s fine. Sometimes people are no longer compatible and that’s okay. As a child of parents who stuck it out way too long don’t do that. If you separate/divorce before things go completely bad it’s better for everyone involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 12:01 AM
1

Most of the ones I’ve known have wanted to but they have always had that pattern. Big age gaps also aren’t a thing in my family so there’s that. I’ve heard many a complaint.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 11:56 PM
4

I’m mostly around 55+ year olds. The women who want to date same age men are having trouble finding men who want to date them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 11:52 PM
-1

A woman who can’t have or doesn’t want to have penetrative sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 11:48 PM
0

Not necessarily. The ones I’ve seen have been between two commitment adverse individuals who won’t have a mature conversation with each other. Sometimes one person has feelings the other does not so “it’s better than nothing.”
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 05:24 PM
1

Oh thank you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 03:48 PM
2

I will say that all of my relatives who had/adopted kids in their 30s and 40s wish they had them in them earlier. What is realistic in this economy and what is optimal are two different things. The first 3 years of a child’s life are some of the most important ones. It’s essential that they have a constant and consistent caregiver that can give them individualized attention.When that doesn’t happen attachment issues form. Kids don’t stop parallel play until 4 anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 01:03 PM
2

I just gave the stats for 49% of Reddit. Nowhere did I mention Social Media or the attention women get on it. I don’t use much social media,I use Facebook for the groups plus YouTube and Reddit so it rarely factors into my calculations. I do tend to be US and Anglosphere centric.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 12:55 PM
1

I’m just pointing out the US average. The UK,Australia and Canada have similar stats. What does social media have to do with it? Followers don’t automatically mean viable options plus filters and MySpace angles are a thing. Granted I only use Reddit, YouTube and Facebook so I have no clue about the others.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 12:50 PM
1

Th Uk,Canada and Australia have similar stats.These as the countries that Reddit gets the most traffic from after the US’s 49%.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 12:41 PM
5

It’s a trauma response. Emotional eating and overeating are often maladaptive coping mechanisms. Disordered eating in general involves being able to control something. Hyper or hypo sexuality is often one as well. I mean young me’s position was “No one cares if the corpse is fat.”
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 03:41 AM
3

Agreed. I don’t think all relationships are meant to last.I know multiple couple who remain at least friendly with each because they saw the writing on the wall and acted like mature adults. We do a real shit job at preparing young people for general relationships much less romantic ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 03:27 AM
3

One thing I had to learn to let go of is the could have beens. I’ll never get that time back and with my oldest stuck point only being 14 I’m having to learn the social skills that I never thought I would need. Grieving and accepting that your younger year weren’t what you wanted or expected is hard but the only way to process emotions is to feel them.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 03:21 AM
2

I’ve always understood settling to have a neutral to positive connotation. Used as a synonym for decided. I settled on/ decided on the person I want to commit to. If you’re like some people I’ve known with 10+ non-negotiables then good luck to ya.Yes this is uneven in the dating marketplace but you can only control yourself. I do consider casual dating where individuals are dating multiple people/ going on multiple dates to be my understanding of non-serious dating. When you close the relationsh…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 03:07 AM
1

Whole Foods or a local health food store/co-op. Delivery services and/or the maid or cook makes the meals.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 02:55 AM
19

I’ve had to tell multiple women “You need a therapist not a boyfriend.” or “who is the common denominator in these situations?” Somehow that makes me a “pick me” because what are definitions. Being correct about their upbringing also makes them mad. I have seen men and women who have worked on their attachment issues and past trauma get into stable and healthy relationships. Once your nervous system calms down things get easier.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/24 09:30 PM
15

The average woman in the US is 64 inches and 170 pounds. The average man is 69 inches and almost 200 pounds. I still think the pool of datable people has shrunk in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/24 08:55 PM
2

Yeah that’s not going to go well here. The Red Pill advice of bettering yourself for yourself is good advice.Ideally ones self worth shouldn’t be based on other people’s opinions. Covert contracts are a killer. I’m working on a couple myself. It’s a catch 22. Having a lack of success in the romance department can make you bitter but that bitterness is off putting. Preoccupied and Disorganized attachment women go for avoidant men. We’re trying to play out what we saw growing up with a better endi…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/24 01:11 AM
1

It’s probably a language quirk. I do the same thing giving sentience to any number of things. “My endocrine system hates me and my kin” “Who made Mother Nature mad?” or “This computer is giving me a fit”.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 09:23 PM
3

Stripper studies have shown that ovulating women make double what their counterparts who aren’t ovulating and/or are on hormonal BC. Just like women can tell compatibility from smelling sweating T-shirts with those on hormonal birth control preferring partners who are more genetically similar. I’m infertile so that might be why I’ve gotten “you remind me of a little sister” comments even from guys younger than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 09:05 PM
1

My understanding of dating seems to be different than others. First dates are casual, usually short, in public and inexpensive. I don’t see many people reacting badly to “Do you want to get some coffee and chat?” and them saying “no thanks” isn’t bad it just is. Do you have covert contacts that are fueling resentment? I’ve had to work on this one. I’d get mad at someone for not holding up their end of a bargain that was never agreed to. I hold people to the standards that I set and meet for myse…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/24 08:55 PM
2

Not all of them. There are some who are trying to get traffic to their business (including OF) and viral outrage is a low effort way to get your name out there. Some are acting for whatever benefit. Getting someone on a podcast especially a video one already rules out certain personalities. No one in those wants to watch an intelligent and productive debate. I have me women like that so I know they exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/24 06:15 PM
3

My mom is anxious, domineering, and not self-aware. Just like her mom. She has something undiagnosed. My dad was more avoidant and laid back. He probably had something undiagnosed as well. He was a good father but a flawed man. For a good portion of their marriage, Mom made more than Dad who always worked retail or retail-adjacent jobs while Mom still worked a desk job. I’ve always lived in the southern US in so that played a big part in my upbringing. I am drawn to those that have similar trait…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 08:02 PM
1

Yes, we do. It’s not always a conscious and some just want all the attention they can get. Magazines for young women used to have looks that guys vs girls like that you could copy. Walking in when another woman has the same or similar outfit to you is annoying.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 05:59 PM
1

Yes. It’s common among independent fundamentalist Baptists (IFB)for example. Your life is already planned out for you. Women are supposed to submit to their husbands, have lots of children, and be a helpmeet. A woman I know who came from that world was told to apologize to her rapist for tempting him. Men are supposed to lead their households, protect women, and be the spiritual authority. They have a narrow box to stay in and when things don’t turn out bitterness and resentment sets in. When co…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 01:24 AM
1

Even if it is does it matter? People can have whatever standards they like. Whether it’s realistic in the dating market or not is another matter. I will warn you that when you (the general you)find this inexperienced woman make sure she doesn’t the show red flags of not liking sex after the honeymoon phase.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 01:00 AM
3

There are women that I follow who are more reality pilled than anything. They are pro-men and actually like their husbands so women seethe .Pearl is just ridiculous and not even a talented grifter.I have known women who believe in household voting so their husband does the voting. Unless you’re required to by law, hi there Aussies you just don’t vote. Pick-me has always meant a woman who throws other women under the bus for validation from men to me. Valid criticism is getting lumped into that c…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 06:38 PM
2

Prenup. If I had any assets I would do a prenup or martial property agreement.Always have agreements in ink and with witnesses as necessary.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 12:25 AM
2

Is having separate savings accounts and a household checking account not common? If you have assets going into a marriage then a prenup isn’t a bad idea. It partially depends on how assets are divided.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 10:26 PM
2

I have known a few people who wanted children but it was ‘t viable option for them. They did enjoy dating single parents and luckily the exes were still friendly with each other.Even so it was an adjustment. I can’t even imagine if the co-parenting was contentious or non-existent.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 10:16 PM
3

Eh, I've seen it be, "You aren't doing the way I want you to do it." that's how my parents were. Mom has undiagnosed ADHD or something similar, though everyone can see it but her, and is a control freak. We'd clean things and do laundry only to have her yell at us because we weren't doing it as she wanted us to. Some of the things that got me made fun of were due to habits she gave us. Also, as an AuDHDer, make what you want done extremely clear. My experience is with women who are high on the n…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 08:32 PM
1

4 years old.We’d do basic things like putting our toys in the basket and grabbing things for our parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 01:08 AM
1

We’ve always cleaned together.Both of my parents worked. Once you hit about 4 years old you had to help pick up stuff. Is that not common? Edited for clarification.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 08:18 PM
14

It depends on who you’re surrounded by . I know plenty of women who have dated and married in their 30s and beyond. Not everyone has a wild time in their 20s for various reasons. Most couples I know are fairly equal in looks and are within 3 years of each other in age. Also most of the women in my family look at least a decade younger including mom who has had cancer twice. I do also know a sizable amount of couples who were at least engaged by 25.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 07:48 PM
0

There isn’t one at this point. It’d require people to become emotionally mature and resolve their insecure attachment. You can only control yourself so I would have to be based on individuals.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 06:26 PM
2

Oh yeah. The domestic fertility industry is bad but the international ones in these poorer countries make BigPharma look good.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 02:22 AM
1

The average American woman is 170 pounds and 64 inches tall for reference. No one stable wants a hot mess of a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 11:16 PM
2

It’s a little of both. The pool of people to date that are unattached, stable and there is mutual chemistry and compatibility has shrunk. I’m oblivious . I didn’t realize that a couple was not only a couple but married for a year. Granted I forget marriage exists. I also don’t have a great sense of self preservation. If I can tell you’re desperate and resentful most other people can as well. I don’t think women’s standards have changed that much IRL.There have always been women with higher irrel…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 11:12 PM
11

I've had a family member almost die due to complications of egg donation/IVF, and surrogacy creeps and grosses me out. I'm infertile myself. Adoption is not a viable option for me. The fertility industry is shady AF. Look up people conceived by donations and the women involved with surrogacy/egg donation. Commerical DNA kits have broken open disturbing things. One pod, as they call themselves, has well over 100 half siblings.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 05:51 PM
1

It’s probably Alexithymia. It super common for us on the spectrum. Using methods other than emotions is just easier. Also belief in a just world fallacy, emotional immaturity and insecurity. I have all four traits. I’ve been told off for watching people before. How else am I supposed to know what they’re interested in? Going on a wiki binge will take time and going in cold will leave me at a disadvantage.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 01:37 PM
1

What standard are we calling average? From my experience, I'm talking about places with 500K or fewer people, where over half the population is at least overweight, in Southern Baptist country. Having good hygiene and not being fat gives you a head start. I'll also argue that this sub skews toward not-average people in general. It could be a location-based thing again, but I know very few people who haven't dated at least a little. Our average is similar to the Midwest.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 03:31 AM
1

I indicated that I was talking about dating casually and relationships that haven’t been made exclusive. Do people not just date for fun with the idea that both parties are trying to find compatibility anymore? All of my relatives who are older zoomers or millennials are married or in LTRs so they have no clue. Granted many of them are the date to marry type. If a man has issues with the woman he’s interested in non-exclusively dating then he either needs to close the relationship or find someon…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 02:20 AM
1

There seems to be a weird mix of exclusivity but without the actual exclusivity .Casual dating is a thing. My greatest generation boomer 1&2 and gen x relatives have always been like “Date multiple people and then when you find someone you are compatible with ask for exclusivity.” Makes sense to me if exclusivity hasn’t been decided on by both parties you’re not doing anything wrong. Now if one or both people want to do the serial monogamy thing or date for marriage/LTR that should be expressed …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 07:24 PM
1

Location still plays a big part in this.We have a high obesity rate in my area so if are fairly close to your body's ideal weight,have good hygiene and can hold a conversation you already have an advantage.The barrier to being average is a much lower here.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 01:29 AM
2

They aren’t mentally healthy or stable. I’ve seen women who would pick men that even the man’s grandmother warned her about. One they developed some self esteem and started working on their attachment issues that changed. Often that’s what they saw at home and/or in their community. Low self esteem and insecurity aren’t moral failings but they do mess up things. To be fair I’ve seen men do the same with harpy women. We want people to treat us how WE think we should be treated.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 05:11 PM
3

Low self esteem, they saw that dynamic growing up and/or they are disorganized or anxiously attached. Even from a platonic point of view I’d be more drawn to people because they could protect me not because they were nice growing up with an unstable self esteem.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 05:05 PM
1

I think lowering your standards is being misinterpreted by the comments. This is being directed at women who have so many non negotiable (I’ve known some with 20+) items that little to no men can meet that standard. You’re allowed to have whatever standards you want but if you can’t find somebody that’s fits the profile maybe look at what you really want and be more flexible.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 07:51 PM
1

5 seems reasonable. I know women with 20+ non negotiables.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 07:45 PM
0

Part of it depends on your job. Dad mainly worked as a manager of some sort in retail, and Mom still works at her office job. She often had more flexibility and at times was closer to our schools. Sometimes, we barely saw either of them because Dad would have to go in to replace someone. Mom shows love through material things, and she's a workaholic like her family. She also had severe depressive episodes. We'd usually cleaned the communal spaces together even when my sibling and I were young. T…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 07:47 PM
3

(Edit:not sure if that weirdness was the user or the device.) My parental grandparents were together for almost 60 years before cancer took him. Grandpa always told us the key to a long-lasting marriage is "flexibility and expecting some things to change." Younger me was grossed out when they would flirt while cooking.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 10:02 PM
2

That’s the big issue. We aren’t taught that our drives are artificially elevated during the honeymoon period. That the little things that drive us crazy now were always there we just were blinded to them. I’m curious how the changing demographics will affect things. Divorce is much easier when you have no or grown children and not many assets.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 08:33 PM
1

They’ve also been split between the socialist faction that has taken over,the old school dems and the DINOS. That’s also where you get political homelessness. I know old school democrats who aren’t comfortable with the way things are trending. To be fair both parties want to screw us over they just have different tactics.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 02:02 PM
2

Traits: Wider set eyes Broader upper face Shorter middle face Wider mouth and a shorter and wider Philrim https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8773918/
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 11:32 PM
4

Well Autism face is a thing. It is correlated severity and tends to make us look younger along with co-morbid conditions. I have a more subtle form but it checks out by measurements. I suppose it depends on what you find attractive. It’s mostly projection.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 11:07 PM
3

I’m a former lib-fem but have interacted with rad-fems and their beliefs. You have people who consider themselves feminist who are much more egalitarian and less political overall. Self discribed conservative feminists also exist. Both camps tend to not like those people. Mainstream lib- feminists are starting to turn their back on choice feminism and returning to feminism’s m socialist roots.It’s really weird to hear traditionally rad-fem talking points but made more intersectional. The fact th…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 05:09 PM
10

You have two things happening. 1: Those of us who are Moderates, some Libertarians and centrists are mostly politically homeless. I know people who haven’t changed their views at all and are now being viewed as right wing when they were labeled as liberals in the past.You also have the weird feminist mixing going on. 2: There is the individualist vs collectivist thing. I went from left to right to centrist. My concern is for family and myself first. I also can keep about three things in my head …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 12:33 PM
2

I have no problem with that but getting others on board might be difficult. Honestly it depends on how the relationship is going and what the salary situation is. Mom had to buy dad’s half of the house because she made way more than him.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 09:13 PM
2

From an evolutionary perspective the amount of time a woman remains in the honeymoon stage is about the time it takes for a human child to become more independent. For a man it’s about the time the child would most likely start becoming an adult. Assuming that at least some of our ancestors had a group rearing strategy. The grandmother hypothesis and all that. People get mad when you say and show them the studies. Not that we’re great at teaching the changes within a marriage as it is. Especiall…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 06:51 PM
1

It could be clutter blindness or a different perspective on what clean and organized looks like.I’m also AuDHD so object and people permenence who’s she? Someone who grew up in a lived in home where there were no biohazards or tripping hazards but there were things spread about; and someone who grew up in a house that was obsessively cleaned are going to have a hard time together.I know this couple and she wouldn’t allow her kids to have more than a couple toys out at a time because it made thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 06:40 PM
–

I’ve heard that before. I have known a Female Led Relationship couple where she pursued him and it went well. So it probably is a power dynamic.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 03:11 AM
1

I’ve always heard settling (on) as a synonym for choosing (to close a relationship) myself. It depends on what his goals and desires are. If he wants a pretty wife who is skilled in the feminine arts and is able to take care of herself but allows him take over then her earnings are irrelevant. How is it settling if he gets what he prioritizes? Men don’t care about women’s salaries that much and honesty unless someone has cool/interesting job who cares all that much about the specifics anyway?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 02:59 AM
–

Ancient computer meet modern world. There is an interesting stigma about a woman chasing a man. I’m not sure if it is cultural or what but she is seen as desperate and often not datable. I assume the if you’re attractive/attracted then it isn’t creepy applies. I grew up hearing that relationships where the woman chased and led don’t last.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 11:09 PM
3

I’m an extrovert leaning ambivert and I think us ambiverts are common.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 06:58 PM
3

There are a few things going on. 1: Some are looking for a casual NSA type things while others are looking for casual dating or a LTR. 2:There is an over representation of the analytical type here. Formulas and one size fits all works better for them. 3: Age is a big factor as is sex. I think I remember seeing that good chunk of us women here are in some sort of relationship while the men are the opposite.With the ages skewing younger the focus is often less on a LTR. I’m hitting my mid-30s and …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 12:49 AM
7

I agree with you. Men, as the usual purser, are damned if they do, damned if they don’t. Then you’re expected to put others feelings before yours when they don’t reciprocate.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 05:23 AM
2

That sucks. I’m just trying to make friends and having no luck. I can’t imagine trying to find a partner. It is crazy out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 05:17 AM
6

Honestly people who complain endlessly about something and don’t take steps to resolve or help the situation are tiring. Humans are self focused creatures. I don’t agree with intersectionality as it practiced and find power + privilege to be insulting. I have issues with theory of the mind and even I’m getting better at realizing people have their own stuff to deal with. People do need to build up resilience yelling at them and mocking them isn’t productive. I grew up in a family where you don’t…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 01:07 AM
–

Real talk. It’s often an insecure attachment style, recreating what they saw at home and trying to change the outcome, and having a nervous system used to instability. My mom is a mostly anxiously attached woman with a domineering personality. My dad was avoidant and retiring: After he divorced mom he married a jail warden. My very anxious sibling married someone who is more like dad. Mom’s domineering parents couldn’t be in the same house without butting heads. They remained best friends after …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 02:44 AM
2

The over representation of the ‘tism, the larger zoomer and probably gen Alpha count, and just general socially awkwardness contributes to that. I’m a middle millennial female AuDHDer with NVLD Up until my mid-20s I had a similar all or nothing attitude add to that being very over protected I got my education from tv and movies. Not that I was allowed to watch much over a PG rating.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 02:32 AM
7

I have Non-Verbal learning disability. It’s what it says on the tin. I can’t process verbal communication very well so I have to use verbal communication. Which is great when you’re surrounded by older women who won’t spit it out. People also get mad when I do what I say I’ll do.I will beat around the bush sometimes but I also grew up with the only bad emotion I was allowed show was anger. Showing sadness, fear or frustration in public was mocked at best and punished at worse. People often use m…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 04:24 AM
2

Yes. My disorganized attachment and I were looking for protectors. I have emotion blindness and grew up in a family where bad emotions weren't allowed except for anger. My goal was to be dead by 18 so I wasn't interested in deep relationships at the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/24 01:03 AM
3

The younger average age and amount of asocial and on the spectrum guys probably plays into it. I had this view point until my mid-20s. Granted I was very overprotected and voted “most likely to befriend a serial killer” A couple of people in my group ended up being diagnosed sociopaths.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 08:45 PM
–

NPD is a tough one. I have an overly anxious mother and my father was avoidant to some degree. Everyone always describes him as chill. Mom and I had to be revived and my sister was born at 26 weeks right before my 7th birthday. We never went to therapy for any of this. As an adult, I can see why she behaved the way she did and why dad went along with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 06:46 PM
–

Given the amount of guys on the spectrum, those lacking friends, asocial guys, etc it’s not surprising. My socialization was weird at best and I had later diagnosed sociopaths in my friend group. I had similar sentiments until my mid to late 20s.I thought things weren’t fair and that they were supposed to like you see in the media. I also grew up sheltered with overprotective parents who wouldn’t allow me to watch anything over a PG rating without them there.For a good chunk of time the TVs and …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 05:23 PM
4

What do they do when sex work is illegal and not very accessible?It’s a 2nd degree felony here. Good luck dodging the undercover officers. Moving is one option but not one that everyone can do.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 06:53 PM
1

I’m with you. Though I don’t find him leaving to be an issue. I have seen this in my circle. The guy just distanced himself without much fanfare. I suppose it could be considered mean but realistically any relationship is over or fundamentally changed anyway. I’ve seen the rejectors pull away because they were uncomfortable with this change.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 09:52 PM
1

If every one of their previous partners was a terrible person , according to them, then they either have shitty taste or they’re the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 05:17 AM
7

For the former responsive desire is very common among women. It’s like going to an activity and having a great time after being so-so on going. There are ways to boost and make the process faster,I recommend smut, but the spontaneous ready to go now is uncommon unless certain circumstances are at play. For the latter there are people who partners who were bad at sex and/or they were bad at sex. I grew up with 90s/2000s abstinence only education.Not exactly the best environment to learn healthy s…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 05:11 AM
4

One thing that people also don’t keep in mind is anatomical differences especially with dicks. Certain positions and/or acts might not work due to something like a (lack) curve. Now depending on both partners desire for the act(s) and/or ability to add pieces to make it happen it might just be an incompatibility. Bodies are so individual.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 02:07 AM
1

Attachment style and upbringing. I have a disorganized attachment style so I have both anxious and avoidant elements. Your nervous system gets used to a certain level of activity or requires a certain amount in cases like ADHD.Being around stable well functioning people is extremely uncomfortable for me. Things are much more stable for me nowadays and I don’t know what to do with myself. I miss the fear, the adrenaline, the unpredictability that I had.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 10:40 PM
1

There are women who will do this but they are usually difficult in general. Women are more likely to have responsive desire. For a general example: Have you ever not felt like going somewhere but when you got there you had a blast? It’s like that for many of us. Now porn, in all mediums, flirting, and other ways to boost our libido do work. Now if she’s apathetic towards you it’s over. Even anger can be worked through but apathy is a death knell to relationships.If she’s apathetic towards everyt…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 09:51 PM
7

There’s another bunch of clitoral nerves about 3 inches in. The G spot is just those nerves. This is why fingering can be so successful. There are women who prefer smaller guys because they can hit those nerves easier. There is another pocket over 6 inches when the uterus moves up. The science of female body is way behind and with our hormonal changes made more difficult. Apparently Viagra has shown effectiveness for severe menstrual cramps/Endo pain but they didn’t think it was necessary to loo…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 09:43 PM
1

Basically allow people to take benefits that would usually only go to a (ex)spouse or their child and allocate them to others.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 05:16 PM
–

I keep an eye on them from afar. Things are getting crazy out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 05:00 PM
–

Interesting. Maybe a little of both? I was taught that having sex increase the drive in women so maybe that’s why.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:57 PM
2

Women. I do have trauma related to women that plays into my perspective but men tend to not care as much about some things. Mind you this is off the internet.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 03:54 AM
–

They are usually Marxist though I have run into a Leninist one before.Gotta love horseshoe theory. I’m an ex-lib fem myself. People are trying to mesh the two together when they hate each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 03:49 AM
1

I’m on team get rid of marriage as it is. Make the legal parts separate and allow more people to apply the benefits to non-romantic relationships. It is definitely less common. One branch of my family iis the married at/by 25 type. Otherwise it’s not a common occurrence.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 03:43 AM
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It’s testosterone levels. When mine were high before I was diagnosed with PCOS I was fighting everyone. It helps lower inhibitions as well. I know women and trans men who go on testosterone that are shocked how much their libido has gone up. Unless she’s ovulating, men are more attracted to ovulating women, is in the honeymoon stage, is self harming with sex (Usually BPD)is reading watching/porn, is manic (Bipolar Disorder),has a naturally higher drive or has a trauma history that led to hyper s…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 03:35 AM
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Then there’s the rad fems who think women can never give consent to most things because of how society is set up.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 03:11 AM
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PPD skews quite young so that could be part of it. My young autist self went through an “It’s not for. I wish I had mind-control powers.” until my mid-20s. I was half joking given the title of most likely to befriend a serial killer. I wasn’t much into Myspace or Facebook when I was in my teens and early 20s so I don’t have much reference for social media at those ages besides YouTube. 24/7 access has changed things. Coupled with people wanting to only put good/positive things online your perspe…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 10:19 PM
1

(Yes I know. You can skip down if you want) I mean there is a X chromosome link to Autism. BPD is a reasonable response to an unreasonable situation. Hell even ADHD type traits can actually be C-PTSD and there is a correlation with early childhood trauma. Bipolar Disorder and ADHD are co-morbids with BP having a trauma connection as well. Trauma changes the brain and with the rapid growth within the first 3 years (which is why they are counted in months) plus a probable genetic link good luck to…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 10:20 PM
1

If you’re going by this dumpster fire website then sure. I was taught that judging others by their looks is a bad thing but I was also taught that I’m not to embarrass the family by my appearance or behavior. Maybe it’s a cultural/regional/etc thing. around here if you say looks matter in a partner out loud you’re shallow and a bad person. I’ve heard women say that looks don’t matter maybe in more of a southern back handed compliment sort of way but it’s not uncommon.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 02:59 AM
2

It is a common maladaptive coping mechanism for both sexes. Porn both written and visual, raise libido especially in women. This can be good or bad depending thing depending on your situation. It boosts mine up to noticeable.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 09:44 PM
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The studies over the years have shown that women can tell mate compatibility just by smelling men’s sweat. Those on hormonal birth control have the opposite preference. Men have an increased attracted to ovulating women. Gotta love Biology. Modern dating patterns are extremely new for our species. Our instincts are strong even if they might be misattributed at times.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 04:01 AM
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That seems to be a cultural and environment thing.My family of origin is half past crazy. Therapy has been an eye opener. I mainly grew up around women and that was advice given to us by the adults in our lives. “People are drawn to nice people. Be nice and most of the work is done”. I’ll agree that my experiences have more to do with the dysfunction people I was raised by and attract.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 01:46 AM
3

I’ve seen more cases where one person’s feelings change in the course of the friend while the other’s don’t. In some cases person 2 gets mad for person 1 for confessing their feelings and changing the relationship. The opposite is also true.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 01:21 AM
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I agree. Between things that are stumbling blocks that a man can’t change and the understandable bitterness and resentment It can be very obvious. That’s not to say that poor behavior is acceptable, though that seems to be a subjective thing anyway but it is very understandable. I can tell even with my issues with reading non-verbal communication and emotions.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 01:02 AM
10

I have known women who will lead men on to use their labor, money, etc. Also women who will use male friends for emotional support and validation.It’s a a lop sided relationship where she takes and never gives.Considering the amount of people with insecure attachment it’s not surprising. Women get told if they nice girls that people will see and reward that. Guys get told if they are a certain type of nice that women will flock to them. Usually it’s a family of origin dysfunction issue.The world…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 12:51 AM
1

As you get older your pool becomes more single parents and divorced people for both sides. You’re also more likely to meet they’re long term single for a reason people.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 06:30 PM
17

This. The anxious-avoidant dance is a difficult one.I have a disorganized attachment style and even with friendships I’d end up in one of the roles.People don’t like hearing that. When you work on your trauma and get better mentally who you are attracted to often changes.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 06:25 PM
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Oh, I agree. I've brought up that situation before in one of those college life classes. I kept getting told that he assaulted her. Not even they did it to each other. I graduated in 2013. Now I have people trying to tell me that alcohol means that consent can't be given. Oh, I agree. I've brought up that situation before i. and kept getting told that he assaulted her. Not even they did it to each other. I graduated in 2013 they did it to each other. I graduated in 2013
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 01:16 AM
2

I’m in an area that’s in the top 30% for obesity in the US. People considered me just overweight when I was class 3 obese so there’s a strategy. People view you compared to the others that they see. Which is where being terminally online can cause issues because of MySpace angles, filters and other tricks.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 07:41 PM
4

Of course they will. I’ve had a similar mindset in the past myself. I’m on life number 3 so I’m going with the decline.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 11:40 PM
1

Honestly it’s probably a human thing at this point.A high quality man has a secure attachment or has down the work to change an insecure one. Someone who doesn’t have have to have you in his life but wants you there. He has ambition and drive,I have combo-ADHD myself so that isn’t a disqualification, and is at least an ambivert or extroverted introvert. We are in the middle of a mental health crisis. I grew up in an upper middle class household in the 90s and 2000s. It wasn’t unusual to only see…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 08:42 PM
1

My dad always worked retail as a manager when we were growing up. Mom always had a desk job. Depending on dad’s schedule and who was at the store it was often easier for mom to come pick us up. It wasn’t unusual to not see one or both of them for more than a couple hours with not seeing them for days happening at times.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 08:29 PM
10

Location can be an influence. I live in an area with a high overweight/obesity rate and it’s a suburb with no public transportation so mixing and mingling with others isn’t as easy. Just being a healthy weight for yourself gives you a leg up.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 08:10 PM
2

I’ve seen cases where two blackout drunk people slept together. Technically both of them SAed each other. I’m unable to drink due to health reason and the sips I had taste like a hospital smells so no thank you anyway. This means I am the drunk wrangler.Lower people’s inhabitions and their impulse control ridiculous things happen. I attract gropey drunk chicks. Part of the issue is the increasing mental health crisis and people’s brains not fully developing until their mid to late 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 07:59 PM
4

We tend to want people to treat us how WE want to be treated.Honestly the only thing you can do is set a boundary and leave the situation. My recovering control freak hates this.This goes for people in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 10:04 PM
17

I’ve been on both sides as a former Libfem and then swinging the opposite way. Idpol is tearing things apart. Pushing people into a corner and demonizing them never ends up well. I don’t believe in intersectionality as it has been implemented.Trying for equality is going to get us Harrison Bergeron and I don’t like helmets.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 09:19 PM
3

There’s currently a shortage of truckers and those in trade jobs. I have blue collar workers in my family and they are making good money. Add in they aren’t in a city center and don’t have college loans and that money goes even further.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 09:05 PM
2

Maybe not those words. My own mom taught me to wait to have sex because it’s not worth it and is only useful for producing babies.I was also told that I’m damaged goods because I am a CSA survivor by people.I did think that liking sex was a sign of mental illness until my mid-20s so there’s that.I know multiple couples who got that unwanted honeymoon guest. I grew up in Southern Baptist country during the purity culture movement. I actually didn’t go to church that much but it was steeped in the…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 05:22 AM
1

I knew a pregnant 11 year old growing up. The father was a peer. Most of the preteens and young teens I’ve known to be sexually active have a CSA, neglect or other abuse history. Sexual precociousness is a big sign of it in children.I went the “no sex no way” route after my CSA but there are those that go the opposite after SA in general. It is scary to watch someone go through that. Wouldn’t a woman who is having a ton of sex because she enjoys it, but isn’t selling it, be more likely to be int…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 09:44 PM
1

I don’t think that negates my statement. I should have specified 25+year olds. Unless you’re her first LTR she has had sex in those other LTRs. Some can’t seem to stand this.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 07:17 PM
2

No but I’m mainly speaking about 25+ year olde. Making a conscious decision to wait is a valid choice this is more of an asexual/demisexual to high libido woman situation. There are men,I’ve known some, in that camp who want a woman who didn’t have any sexual interest before she met him.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 07:14 PM
2

I suppose it depends the kind of foot stuff involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 10:29 PM
3

Of course you can. That comment was more for those who want to be her first and only and those that want a woman who doesn’t like or isn’t interested in sex until she meets him.I’m also around people who are 25+. The younger group Is mostly married. I honestly don’t get the big deal about sex .It doesn’t really enter my mind unless I am reading something that includes it. That’s not what you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 06:50 PM
2

Usually those that are the most vocal about it, who aren’t in the educational sphere, are obnoxious self satisfied and holier than thou As with many things those that have healthy functional relationships are too busy with their relationships to start throwing stones. The smug couple turned MFF throuple I knew ended up divorced when he decided he preferred the new lady.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 12:58 AM
5

There is a link between women with mental health and attachment issues and going after the actual bad boy.That fun avoidant-anxious dance. If it’s working for you go for it. If you’re looking at your relationships going “why do I always pick wrong” than a therapist is a good idea. It seems to be a personality thing for many. I have seen both men and woman walk away after gaining some self esteem. Honestly unless I need to call the cops adults can be in relationships with other adults.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 11:25 PM
1

Statistically speaking males are way more likely to have a fetish by the DSM definition, than females. I heard an interview with a porn website owner. She said that women’s searches and interests varied way more and quicker than men’s. Men tended to revisit the same themes over and over again with it changing slower. That tracks with mean having more paraphillias and fetishes. As for height. I have read lonely hearts ads that even a century ago had these characteristics: Women wanted a tall man …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 11:16 PM
6

I am mainly around people 25 and older so that’s the experience I’m basing this on. Waiting until marriage/a LTR are valid but make sure everyone involved is going in with eyes wide open Guys,if you want a woman who enjoys sex then she’s out there having sex.N counts are interesting. Are we counting the (pre)teen years in this? What constitutes sex? One of the biggest bundles of clitioral nerves is about 3 inches in so would fingering be included?I say this as someone with subscriptions not issu…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 11:02 PM
1

The happy one’s are too busy being happy offline.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 04:32 AM
1

It probably was in our ancestors. Much of the drama with dating is due to our pesky lizard brains. Men and Women have different mating strategies that aren’t completely compatible with long term monogamy. Add in hormonal BC that has been shown to change women’s preferences on an instinctual level,Testosterone being a hell of a drug and wide spread attachment issue and it’s a disaster.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 01:43 AM
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Honestly between the ND movement (that term has become a slur to me) and the symptoms themselves it seems to come with the territory.The face thing was surprisingly but I do have a more subtle version. I was diagnosed with Asperger’s when it was considered primarily social disorder and ADHD when it was considered a learning disability that usually goes away. The NVLD makes it even more complicated.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 01:22 AM
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Oh they don’t like being told that. I’ve been kicked out of groups because I call Autism a disability. There is a X-Chromosome link and Mutations on the Y-Chromosome. Females have x-inactivation on our side. The more severe cases seem to prevalent in males. There is a link to older fathers so maybe it’s that 3% difference on the Y-Chromosome. The Autism phenotype is interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 12:47 AM
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There is the sweaty T-shirt study. They have men wear identical t-shirts for 2 days with no added scents. Women then sniff them. Those not on BC show a preference for men more genetically (the MHC) dissimilar to them while those on hormonal BC show the opposite preference. In practice I have seen multiple women be turned off their partner after getting off hormonal birth control. Most were baffled by this. We also choose partners based on where we are in our cycle. Yes it strange to think our li…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 08:43 PM
2

Personally I can see it being a cultural and circumstance based thing. Given how we act today maybe a serial monogamy type situation with fertility being an important factor.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 07:19 AM
1

I think that will eventually be bred out but this modern paradigm is very new for our species. They also thought that both partners had to climax in order to conceive.It ties into the 4 humor theory. Considering that SW was treated as a necessary evil many men encountered an ovulating woman with an increase libido. Stripper studies show that a fertile woman not on BC makes about $70 an hour right before ovulation double what a menstruating woman or one on BC makes.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 07:15 AM
1

Our early ancestors weren’t monogamous especially for the long term and our mate selection strategies still echo those times. From a societal stand point putting limits on female sexuality, we don’t get a 7 year itch it’s 2-3 years, makes sense especially if you have resources to pass down. From a purely biological point of view we are the more venerable sex. Something that has always amused me is that women were considered the sex that couldn’t control themselves sexually for centuries.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 04:58 AM
0

Honestly that is a human thing it just shows up in women more. We want be to treat us how WE think we should be treated. If you have no self esteem or self worth. We also got back to what we know. I tend to attract domineering women and avoidant borderline passive men. That’s what my I witnessed growing up.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/24 01:21 AM
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It’s just going to get worse. As people push having children later conditions correlated with an older mother/father like Autism are just going to increase. Not to mention the genetic and hereditary component. I’ve been kicked out of the Autism and ADHD communities because I believe they are disabilities or trauma responses.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/24 01:14 AM
1

Promiscuous people seem to pair up with each other. People have their values and unfortunately some aren’t as in vogue or they have been taught in such a way it causes physical problems. It makes things harder. As I’ve tended to see promiscuity as trauma response to CSA or happening during mania I believe people can change their lives around.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 07:47 AM
2

Where does that land those of us who just don’t care about sex? I suppose others would call me Asexual. I just know the probability of a relationship is tiny.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 11:05 PM
1

Seems to depend on their age and how they view virginity. I’m a 34 year old virgin due to subscriptions so I’m meh about it. Interestingly women have always given me more shit about it than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 10:52 PM
1

The partner who has a higher standard of cleanliness and aesthetic should do that themselves or learn to let it go. I’m not talking bi-hazard more of having to have multiple throw pillows,not having anything on the coffee table or having Knick knacks that have to be dusted.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 10:49 PM
1

There is a values aspect. I will forever equate promiscuity to trauma or someone spreading STDs (yes they bragged about it)because that’s what I’ve seen. There are different factors. I’ll argue that women are more likely to return to exes,fwbs or other known arrangements. It depends on your circle, what social media you’re on (Reddit,YT and FB for me) your location and how you define promiscuous and how much people run their mouth. My circles have never been much into talking about hook ups or O…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 10:41 PM
9

They probably saw that dynamic in their family of origin.Women being abusive is seen as funny or harmless. Mom is a control freak with a likely disorganized but at least anxious attachment style and dad was an avoidant who just would withdraw during conflict. My disorganized self either requires others to make a decision because I don’t trust myself to or I just ignore it and hope it goes away.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 10:22 PM
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If you aren’t exclusive then there isn’t an issue. From listening to my older family members going around with multiple people was the norm at one time. Don’t be a hypocrite. Disclosing is a take it or leave it. Wouldn’t it be flattering for your partner to stop all the other relationships to be with you alone? (Yeah Yeah I know just pretend if it makes you feel better) The increasing lack of (semi) public places for dating is a problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/24 10:10 PM
1

Grown women acting like high schoolers. I think the pick-me label is misused at times. They are above all else performative. I know women who people would call pick-me but that’s just their personality and how they show love. This isn’t hate but more of sad thing. The anxious or fearful-avoidant woman who puts her partner above everything and everyone else. Doing things for you partner in love is great but there is a line.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/24 10:02 PM
1

RP:The west is screwed relationship wise. Preselection, social credibility and putting women on a pedestal exists. BP:The internet is full of unhappy bitter people congregated in concentrated areas. The people happy with dating and relationships are usually too busy nurturing the relationship and working on themselves. My pill: We all need therapy/trauma work. I was unofficially voted “most likely to befriend a serial killer”. If I can tell you’re bitter most other people will as well. Our lizar…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/24 12:08 AM
4

All of the promiscuous people I’ve known have trauma and/or a mental illness/condition. Age is an important factor.If you want a partner who likes sex their count is going to be higher but there is a big difference between a 20 year old and a 40 year old. I can say as a 34 year old virgin (unless you count CSA)that I am a complete headcase. Also vaginigmus means it’s not going to happen anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/24 11:52 PM
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Would you call these women stable and mentally healthy? Sounds like a classic pursuer-distancer dynamic to me.That Anxious-Avoidant paring causes so much drama. Humans as a whole aren’t monogamous by nature especially women. Our ancient ancestors bonded enough for the baby to become a toddler then the woman went in search of another man. That doesn’t mean we can’t be it just means we have to work at it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/24 06:32 PM
1

One had a chunk invested it in bank stock of all things. The other just didn’t diversify. My mom is the set if and forget so I can see how someone would just not pay attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/24 06:16 PM
1

Not exactly. Pensions don’t really exist here anymore. You put in pre-tax money from a paycheck in a retirement account and your employer a choose to match it. The money is put into the market to grow it. It’s not the most stable system and I know several people who lost most of theirs during 2008. You can start taking money tax free at 59 1/2.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/24 05:23 PM
5

Attachment style forms from your connection or lack of connection from your caregivers as a young child. I have a fearful-avoidant/disorganized attachment style which combines both anxious and avoidant. It is formed due to early trauma. Anxious and Avoidants attract each other. We look from partners that A:repeat what we saw at home,B:have the characteristics of the (absent) caregiver(s) because we are trying to rewrite history (I can change him) and/or C: Treat us how WE think we should be trea…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/24 10:52 PM
1

Lately I have been hearing more about them not getting as bad of a sentence and about society ignoring negative female behavior. I honestly think both sides have the same opinion. It’s down to female infantilization. There are some “young me would totally have been into it.” and “she’s not/hot” but that just seems to go with attractive criminals.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/24 10:39 PM
1

If we have an insecure attachment we are attracted to the person who has the most similar characteristics to our (absent)caregiver(s). That’s why what we are used to, we want to rewrite the past,our nervous system is used to the roller coaster so stability is uncomfortable and boring.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 08:12 PM
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If you’re sexually incompatible you’re sexually incompatible. It is insecurity and probably family of origin issues causing this view.I’m experiencing something similar. If a woman enjoys sex she will be having sex. The virgin or low partner count woman won’t be. Is she doesn’t show interest in sex or is what you would call a prude then she’s probaly low libido. Once her hormones from the honeymoon period end then she will go to her baseline.That’s only 2-3 years. When do most people get married…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 08:07 PM
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Even as woman it can indicate issues. I am a 34 year old female virgin. That stems from psychological and physical issues. These guys who want low or no count women are shooting themselves in the foot. She likely has a low libido. Past behavior predicts future performance. She might have an increased libido during thre honeymoon phase but that only lasts 2 or 3 years.It lasts about 7 for men.In our ancestors this was enough time to reproduce and have the baby become a mobile toddler. The majorit…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 08:01 PM
1

More women than men have told me that. A sizable number of men disclose that they have experienced female perpetratored abuse. Others know men that it has happened to.There are those brush it off or go “I haven’t heard of that”. Seeing as I was minor for most of it I haven’t encountered a response that makes me want to call the cops.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 07:50 PM
1

The first few years are the most important for a child.By every standard a child who has a stable consistent caretaker does better. Men like to provide and do things for their wife. The economy also plays into it. I know more and more women staying home because their income doesn’t offset the cost of their job. It’s often the women because we choose people based careers more often and that isn’t valued.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 01:06 AM
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Society is still set up for couple so that causes issues. If you have a support system things aren’t too bad. It does depend on the individual’s personality and wants. I’m personally happy single but I’ve never had the urge to pair up either.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 12:58 AM
2

Given that women’s biological response to long term monogamy is a drop in libido and we get out of the honeymoon period at about two I’d say you’re right. It wears off around when the child (assuming she fell pregnant earlier on) is more mobile and less fragile compared to the infant stage. Men’s honeymoon period lasting about 7 years is interesting. Maybe to help with the bond until the child reaches the period of rapid development?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 12:55 AM
1

The biological clock is real. I would have to call the Vatican if I got pregnant but I started getting the baby rabies in my late twenties. This was when I wasn’t on BC (or hormone control in my case) after getting back on it the desire went way down.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 12:47 AM
1

This is a society issue and one the kink community needs to work on. It plays into gender stereotypes on both sides. If you think of a submissive who do you picture?The ENM and kink communities go on about inclusive they are but put men’s especially straight men’s sexuality in a box There are less women into this type of relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 12:37 AM
5

A thing to know to about women. Hormone changes affect us way more. When we’re in the honeymoon this does things like raise our libido. This stage lasts for about 2 years in women. It lasts for 7 years in men.Long term monogamy sinks a woman’s libido.It isn’t a bait and switch just her going to her baseline. Women are more likely to have responsive desire and men are more likely to have Spontaneous Desire. The good news is it is the perfect time to work on building a strong foundation. This is w…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 12:27 AM
5

Those are two different things. A better example would be a woman groping a guy or even another woman. It’s often played off for laughs.The question was if woman does something anti-social is ever not blamed on men? Individuals are responsible for their own behavior. Just because I was abused that doesn’t justify me abusing others though it may explain it. Being a female CSA survivor of female perpetrators is hard enough because I’ve been told “women don’t do that”. The male survivors get that a…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 11:48 PM
1

I can often tell people what their family of origin was like by their behavior. People want to fight me on it though. That’s one reason I have grace for people. I didn’t figure out that my upbringing wasn’t normal until my late 20s in therapy.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/24 09:15 PM
1

Women lose their honeymoon phase attraction to their male partners (about 18-24 months vs 8 years)much faster. Part of it is biological as this period does increase various hormones in both sexes.Monogamy is a libido killer for women who are more likely to need sexual variety than men. Women tend toward responsive desire as it is with hormones sometimes changing things. Think about the typical dating to marriage timeline. That’s not say you can’t maintain a strong though altered relationship. Un…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/24 10:55 PM
2

I’ve also read that women are more turned on by variety and novelty while men have a more stable preference.From what I’ve seen it makes sense. https://bmjopen.bmj.com/content/7/9/e016942 Unfortunately women stop wanting sex way before the men do (years 1-4) vs (9-12 or longer)because of this.That also explains the “she wants sex just not with me (you)” and the lack of attraction.Bill control helps even less because it tends to reduce desire even more.Having known monogamous couples who are craz…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 04:23 AM
1

The not like other girls can be annoying.I’ve known women who were literally not like the others because they were the only ones in the with a certain style, hobbies,etc. It wasn’t big deal though it was amusing to see the contrast. Pick me gets thrown around too much. I’ve know couples where the woman is called a pick me because she does stuff as act of love for her boyfriend/husband.He does the same for her. That’s what I grew up with.There are women who prefer traditional roles.Are some annoy…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 07:25 PM
2

I was on feminists blogs at the time and her songs were a big topic of conversation. You can still find mainstream articles about it from the time so they have no clue what they’re talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 10:46 PM
1

People replicating their trauma is also a big part of it. Those butterflies aren’t necessarily a good thing.There’s a reason breaking up or cheating when things are stable and ho-hum is a thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 10:33 PM
1

Yeah as someone who hasn’t had friends since 2008 and most of those had been made prior to 2005 I don’t have modern social skills.Even having grace given to me by virtue of being female isn’t always enough to not scare people away from my AuDHD self. Most of the people I know have found their partners offline and none have found them using dating apps but having social awareness does translate to the online realm.Lacking socialization and social skills will make things harder. They aren’t the sa…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 09:47 PM
9

Given the amount of late teens/early 20s zoomers in this sub it’s not surprising that some wouldn’t know this.They’d been under 10 at the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 09:22 PM
1

I live in the American South so culturally you’ll see more traditional aspects. I find people don’t want to be venerable. I’ve been told men want a capable and competent woman who will allow men to take over some things. Who wants to be in a relationship where they aren’t needed? Everyone should have basic homemaking skills. I’m class of ‘08 and I did home etc type classes including record keeping and filling out forms by hand. My hyperfixations include organizing and cleaning so as long as some…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/23 08:50 PM
2

Where I am it is a felony to even offer sex in exchange for money much less buy it. They are counting escorts and sugar babies in this a well of they can prove the sex for money angle. If you get caught again it is a higher felony and a 5+ figure fine. I wouldn’t want to chance it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/23 03:45 AM
1

I grew up in a two parent home with most of mom’s family less than an hour away.I frequently saw my extended family. The whole “It take a village” was what I saw around me. So the insular nuclear family thing is foreign to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 07:44 PM
2

There is a reason why things like foot fetishes mainly happen with men.Women finding a guy attractive is “Oh he is fit and strong” even if it is physical it is the whole package not just parts. For us having sex increases our drive. If we aren’t then it can go dormant until our hormone cycle increases it again. I assume it is the opposite for men. The t-shirt experiments show we can tell compatibility through scent. Birth Control absolutely changes attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 07:33 PM
1

Hell I'm female and I don't like most women today. People aren't equal. Laws can help level the playing field but those have been skewed in favor of women. I think people are talking over each other. Women were often infantilized and treated like children while men are often treated like overly privileged predators when I growing up.Things I do are considered quirky but guys are considered weird or unappealing.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 09:52 PM
1

It is frustrating that people assume a certain amount of experience by a certain age. My parents were very overprotective and I went to community college while living at home.I was focused on academics in my late teens and early twenties plus I did the gifted kid to mental break down thing. Do you have experience with making friends of either sex? I haven’t made new friends in almost two decades so all of my friend making skills are pre-smart phone. I hate texting people when I could just call t…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/22 11:56 PM
1

I’m mainly around religious types who want to wait until engagement at the very least. They do have issues finding compatible. People also assume they’ll change their minds and then get mad when they don’t. I do consider something like a HJ to be sex personally so there isn’t much leeway. If someone doesn’t like that then it is usually compatibility issue. Unfortunately you are dependent on other people and their behavior. I’ve asked why people can’t just not have sex before(the last time was in…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/22 11:35 PM
1

My impulse at 33 is actually worse then it was at 20 but I was also still extremely suicidal and have brain damage relating that area.Luckily I am unable to drink. Depends on the person I suppose. I'm used to dysfunctional people to be fair who don't believe you can change after 35 or so.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/22 03:27 AM
1

I think people can change I just think it’s unlikely. From what people have told me the fact that it happened at all is an issue for some.Others want to see real and consistent change while others view it as a values misalignment. A traditional college education is uncommon in my circle as is living on campus so that might make a difference. Most of the millennials and younger Xers I know were married by 25 .
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/22 09:33 PM
1

Depends on where they are. A 7 where I am would be a 5 at best in a place like LA or New York.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/22 04:29 PM
3

It can signal a priorities and values gap. If you think promiscuity is a sign of poor impulse control and poor decision making then pairing up with such person wouldn’t work. 300 seems like an extreme number. Granted my virgin self thinks any two digit number for a lifetime count is high.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/22 04:24 PM
1

Almost all of the people I’ve known who were highly promiscuous had a trauma background.Many have to be drunk to seek out sex. Part of the issue is when talking about populations as a whole especially in relation to other populations is you can have a majority but still have a sizable minority that falls out of it. Birth control absolutely affects mate selection among other things. I’m infertile and my aesthetic preferences have changed drastically after getting the implant for hormonal reasons.…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/22 09:52 PM
1

When I(33F) was officially diagnosed with ADHD in 2000 my parents were told “it’s a learning disability that goes away in adulthood so wait it out”. I definitely have what is labeled as NVLD (discribed to me as Asperger’s plus ADHD-mixed type with the typical co-morbidities/symptoms) and depending on who you ask it is in addition to Asperger’s or in place of ( My chart still shows Asperger’s as my diagnose so I will continue to use it). I find even now that women can get away with odd behavior a…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/22 09:25 PM
3

I find it telling that people get up in arms when told the old wisdom of “don’t have sex/have a kid with someone you wouldn’t want a relationship with”. Also “don’t have sex if you can’t have an open,honest conversation with that person”. I’ve been lucky in that most of the divorces I’ve seen (just turned 33 yesterday Female) have been amicable or had the ex-spouses as friends and co-parents. The others has the women in the hospital with injuries so that was cut and dry. In most of these relatio…
/r/MensRights06/11/22 06:39 PM
2

I consider marriage to be a “ legal arrangement for the bringing up of children”.So love doesn’t really factor In for me.Granted I don’t process emotions like many people so I probably wouldn’t notice anyway. If the individuals agree to a marriage of convenience/platonic marriage I don’t see a problem with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/22 05:13 AM
2

As some with social issues,particularly online,I find a good way to gauge whether someone is socially awkward versus being creepy is bringing it to their attention.Communication can be difficult, the pandemic made people lose their graces even more, and I am extroverted leaning ambivert that is ADHD so I can be a bit much. I have visual/spatial issues and have done things like try to follow someone because I am used to walking and talking with people (having an ADHD heavy family will do that) bu…
/r/MensRights30/09/22 10:29 AM
2

My family tends to live to 95+ plus years and they are workaholics/like their jobs. Not everyone CAN retire,at least In the US system, as you need a certain amount of credits. I can barely work due to disabilities and at my current pace I’d be able to retire in my 80s at the earliest. I am basically in a soft guardianship and will have a trust so I don’t have to worry too much.
/r/AntiFeminists30/09/22 08:20 AM
39

Depends on their behavior/attitude. Incel is basically the equivalent to to calling someone an -its or -phobic these days. Women,feminists in particular,tend to either think these men deserve it or want the hyper-masculine man so they don’t like men that are considered socially inept. Men seem to either be on the opposite side so they don’t relate,are dealing with it themselves or don’t want to be associated with with them. As a female in the spectrum I find many of my male counterparts either a…
/r/MensRights30/09/22 05:01 AM
1

Ah. Well My reading comprehension is off today. I can see that especially if healthcare is at least partially state funded.
/r/MensRights29/09/22 09:07 PM
6

The Woman’s Heath and Cancer Rights Act passed ‘98. My mom had breast cancer and everything from her mastectomy itself to the garments/prosthetics/treatments were required to be covered as long a doctor wrote prescription/had it filed under cancer care. When she had colon cancer there was a little more trouble with coverage.
/r/MensRights29/09/22 08:27 PM
4

From an ex-feminist perspective: It is the,mainly male traits,that cause or influence men to behave in violent or socially unacceptable behaviors. Are there toxic traits? Yes but I’ll argue many are punished/rewarded by women. Personally I think most of these traits are more under toxic human traits. People will push/reward people behaving badly either because it benefits them to do so. Most of the men I’vebeen around have been awesome. Strong,protective types who will show emotion/let down thei…
/r/MensRights29/09/22 08:16 PM
1

I’m mainly around brought up in the church religious people so dating for marriage is the most common thing I’ve seen. In this case casual sex is either a negative or neutral and the individuals won’t pursue things with a who want sex without at least an engagement. I both agree and disagree. If you’re someone/the other person is someone who uses causal sex as determiner of whether you want a commitment or not then It depends on which you you want. It seems odd to sleep with someone who have put…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/22 08:11 PM
1

Yes. If those who can’t stay faithful/want to sew their wild oats just stayed single then it wouldn’t be so bad. Well it would lessen those in the dating pull,maybe broaden the hook up pool,but if you’re incompatible then it wouldn’t work anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/22 11:32 PM
1

From an former feminist perspective: There are women who have bought into the whole “we need to be like men” narrative and have gone too far with correcting past attitudes. There is also a thought of “men are only good for one (okay maybe three things).” It’s also socially pushed in some circles.People in general bulk at the idea of curbing their urges even if giving in might cause harm and unpleasantness.I’m not a sex positive person. I am on team promiscuity is not a good look in either sex an…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/22 11:30 PM
1

He didn’t say. I find 12 to be an strange cut off,16 or 18 seems more in line with things,that rings true with feminist spaces I was in.
/r/MensRights24/09/22 11:21 PM
5

Part of it societal and familial. I was lucky to grow up around two parent and positive co-parenting/step-parenting households myself. These are the reasons I’ve heard from people: Young marriage is more likely to end up in divorce You need to find yourself first You won’t be able to do all the things you want to do if you’re married. You change dramatically in your 20s and your brain isn’t fully developed until your mid-20s anyway. You need to be young and have fun. Marriage is a patriarchal sy…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/22 02:02 AM
6

I don’t see why not. Gender and sex aren’t the same after all to the powers that be.
/r/MensRights24/09/22 01:50 AM
5

You’d think. There are different types and one with family areas and sex segregated areas would be ideal. Even one’s right next to each other. Given the feminist influence in many of these places this sounds about right. Considering at least a third of those on the street have a severe mental illness and/or substance abuse issues I still think emptying the state hospitals and not reforming them was a terrible move.
/r/MensRights24/09/22 01:49 AM
4

I’ve heard that too often. The one nearest to me is a family shelter and not a DV one luckily. Many of them seem to be DV ones though. Considering I’m a woman who mainly had female abusers that does me no good.
/r/MensRights24/09/22 01:43 AM
53

Yes. I knew a family who got separated because they wouldn’t take any male over 12.
/r/MensRights23/09/22 09:53 PM
1

From a thought experiment POV. Government mandated partners based on on your stats. Matchmaking parties based on your stats Making male and female sexuality closer to each other aka make testosterone not as much of a drug and make women libidos go up. This is the population in general. Teach girls and young women actual facts about their fertility and how their cycles work. I’ve known couples who trying to start to get pregnant but weren’t trying around when she could get pregnant. Make telling …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 08:21 PM
1

Being someone’s therapist sounds like a co-dependent nightmare. If you don’t agree with any conditions to date or remain with someone then not pursuing them or leaving is probably the best option. Especially if apathy is involved you can’t come back from that. A good portion of the population isn’t ready for a relationship. Trauma bonding becomes toxic quickly.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/22 08:06 PM
2

I’m (32F)into trp from the female side and I’m on the spectrum. I think trp has good lessons but the way it is implemented is often faulty. I had to take communication and socialization classes growing up and was brought up with southern manners so I’m decent a socializing. I am also an extroverted leaning ambivert.Personally I have seen more people not have an issue with my quirks but pile on my male counterparts. Many who are attracted to this sort of thing are on or near the spectrum,have soc…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/22 07:59 PM
3

I live a area with a high obesity rate so there are more fat people to be potential partners in general. I’ve seen it both ways though I hear more fat women say they don’t want to date fat men the the opposite. People usually just complain there aren’t enough normal weight and/or physically fit people.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/22 07:34 PM
2

There has been an uptick in men preferring masturbation or basically acting out the porn they see with the woman’s body. Some say they can’t get it up with their female partner/hook up or that it’s easier to do it themselves. I think compulsive porn usage is real it overlaps with mental health issues. I know some people in psychology/social work who are hearing from sex offenders that they had a compulsion that escalated when the tier below the next taboo thing didn’t work anymore. I’ve experien…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 12:08 AM
2

I’ve seen the same thing. Most of the most promiscuous people I knew had some sort of abuse/neglect background or had mental health issues. Having to get drunk to hook up isn’t normal even if it is the norm.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/22 11:53 PM
6

Most women aren’t worth dating. Being overly reliant on men and being overly independent are two sides of the same coin. Many women are control freaks who have to have the last word and won’t let themselves be vulnerable. Wanting to do something for your partner is normal. I’m in the I push people away before they can leave me camp myself. We tend to want a group consensus and are more likely to follow our friends/family’s lead in relation to relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/22 11:47 PM
1

Antidotally I grew up in a umc household (by 90s/00s standards) of about 160k. Most of the people I was around were middle class or upper middle class. Most of my friends were from two parent homes or had divorced parents/stepparents who had good co-parenting relationships. I’m a middle millennial and most of our parents are younger boomers or older xers. I did have a couple of friends who parents divorced after their kids graduated high school. There is a graying of divorce within this demograp…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/22 11:27 PM
0

It make sense with with our reptile brain being programmed when 40 was elderly. It’s fairly recent that people are living as long as they are in the great numbers that they are. Penicillin is only about a hundred years old.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/22 10:45 PM
2

That’s what people don’t get. It’s not that you CAN’T do something (I believe all life skills should be taught to both sexes) it’s that you are letting him take it over. For example my dad loves ironing (he says he finds it soothing.),the man irons his undershirts, and cooking. When he was married to mom and now my step mother he did most of those tasks.I know hyper-independent people who are a pain to be around because they are control freaks who won’t let others doing anything. My own personal…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/22 10:40 PM
0

Even something like middle millennial or (early)30s would help. I(32F)tend to add age and sex into my posts or otherwise indicate the above facts. People would start using your facts against you though,more then they already are. General type of location (over 2 million or under 1K,major city,out in the boonies,etc)would also help. What is considered (above) average here (suburb 45K) would be below average in a major city.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 07:52 PM
1

It depends on why she is a virgin. I’m a virgin who started researching sex because of some extreme phobias. I have a fairly good amount of theoretical knowledge though not much personal hands on due to an overly tight pelvic area and nerve damage. She may have had overprotected parents and either didn’t go to a traditional college and/or lived at home during college. I have known some women who had parents that demanded high grades so free time didn’t happen. I’m a middle millennial and we had …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 02:28 AM
4

Sometimes it is deliberate. I’ve know men who went through emotional incest with their mothers and it messed them up.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 03:58 PM
6

Choice paralysis is a thing. Women will just drop out of dating when they get overwhelmed or go back to someone they already know. There was an experiment where people were give a free shirt with no options to choose from or they one given one randomly out of multiple options. When asked how happy they were with their choice the second group was less happy and sure. I’ve seen that myself. I have helped hand out shirts for an event for 5 years. One year had only one option,another had two total o…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 09:33 PM
2

No one deserves biological (or adopted) children. I’m infertile and have moral and legal issues with surrogacy myself.I also think children have the best chance with their biological mother and father in a loving home. That is what I saw the most growing up. Single parents and same-sex parents,depending on the state,have more of an uphill battle especially if they are male.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 07:56 PM
3

I know from the single parent adoptions in family that they were required to show that there was an opposite sex individual that could take on that role.This side of my family has always been close so the kids had aunts,uncles and cousins to be around. This was in Texas in the 90s and early 2000s. Same sex adoption,male single parent adoption and surrogacy is still iffy in some parts here. I knew a man who had trouble getting custody of his adopted children after his wife ran off.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 07:49 PM
1

I’ve usually heard of them in reference to a unique texture change(ribbed for her pleasure” if you will)or kink situations. Probably won’t be a mainstream stream thing like a penis pump.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 01:22 AM
2

I keep hearing about them being canceled because they can’t get enough guys showing up. If it is done with a certain community/interest/group I can see it working.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 01:50 AM
2

Men will swipe on most or all women. This often leads to shadow banning,which can’t be undone,men will upgrade and still be shadow banned. Any information including phone numbers and email addresses is connected to that account. Resetting won’t help and resetting too often will lead to shadow banning as well. A shadow banned account means:you’re account won’t be seen,your messages won’t be seen,you will see less options but with the prior two conditions it won’t matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 07:25 PM
13

Indeed. There are those that marry their high school sweetheart who was their first ,and then decide they missed out later. However many promiscuous individuals tend either to have unresolved issues, aren’t into/made to be long term monogamous and/or have red flags.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 08:02 PM
2

That’s what I heard from others. I was a compliant teen that wasn’t allowed to watch PG-13 or higher movies until I was 17 unless it was the TV edit or they could shield me eyes plus our TVs and desktop were out in the open (I turned 17 at the end of 2006) so sneaking was hard.I wasn’t allowed to go to other people’s houses unless they met their parents.My younger sister had much less restrictions and was more rebellious.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 12:46 AM
3

Hypergamy as a concept has been useful in the past. When you have women who want the best providers and men who have to stand out it can lead to healthy competition and growth. When you don’t have both sides pulling their weight as it were then things break down. I suppose it depends on where you live because I’m around average or slightly above people (for this area) and they are evenly matched.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 12:55 PM
2

I grew up sheltered with overprotective parents so the idea that anyone has sex as a teen is amazing to me. A branch of my family marries by 25. The women want guys in their age group. The only pre-25 age gap relationships I’ve seen involved individuals that needed therapy not a relationship. That’s not to say all of them are like that but it is suspicious.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 12:48 PM
2

Some of us are just naturally overly friendly. I do things that others take as flirting and it has led to awkward situations. Women do this. If she’s the type to be flirty and then leave it at that then that’s probably her personality. People love getting compliments and the extroverted thrive on attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 09:29 PM
1

I only mentioned it as it was relevant to the OP. Not everyone has ADHD and those I’m speaking of have an official diagnosis. When I was originally diagnosed it was seen as a learning disability you grow out of though so that had interesting consequences.I’m pro-cure so many autistics hate me anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 02:35 PM
3

Well most of my circle has ADHD and/or has other autistic individuals In their lives. I technically have NVLD and my ADHD part is more noticeable because I am an extroverted ambivert.Honestly I’ve been the most socially aware person in the room before which is scary.My more recent issues have been due to how I was raised. I did grow up taking socialization/communication/ADA classes. Unfortunately this was before social media was big so it focused on in-person interactions and phone calls (the fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 06:03 AM
4

As an autistic woman who is too autistic for some but not autistic enough for many other autistics dating another autistic sounds terrible. There is a reason I tend to stick with non-autistic and those with ADHD.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 04:56 AM
2

I know my definition is different from most peoples. It’s one reason why the term slut shaming always confused me.If I’m calling you a slut then you have at least broken down ethnical or moral guidelines if not committed a crime. Luckily it doesn’t happen that often. As long as I don’t need to call the cops or the county health services people they are welcome to do what they want. I think many have unresolved issues but that’s on them.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 09:59 PM
1

I agree. I have seen woman who were on BC for at least a decade go of it and their taste have changed. Hormones are powerful and manipulating them does have consequences. More education correlates with having less kids. I’m on the side that we need more people in some areas and less in others. Just transplanting them into other places doesn’t solve the issue as assimilation often doesn’t completely happen. I’m in the ‘burbs and there are certain areas that I’m not welcome in.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 02:49 AM
1

It is slightly uniform and consistent in my circle. Most of them have a type. I have seen women’s interests due to therapy/medication/recovery. They no longer need the unpredictable and chaotic guy they are happy with the more stable guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 02:37 AM
0

I find sluts to be rare by my definition. I don’t like promiscuity in either sex but wouldn’t call them sluts. I did think liking sex was a sign of mental unless until my mid 20s for reference.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 01:32 AM
2

Disgusting people who brag about it. If they are lying then there is something else wrong. I’ve known women who refuse to use protection because “guys don’t have to so why should we” so maybe stupid people as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 01:58 AM
3

Exactly. They want what media shows and/or showed in their younger years. Both sexes do and I’ve had both sexes tell me it is a shit show that isn’t worth it. I still maintain that a decent amount of promiscuous individuals have trauma or other issues they need to work on. My definition of promiscuity is “indiscriminately sleeping around with regardless of personal consequences”. Most of the one’s I knew were also sluts (someone who deliberately sleeps around passing in order to spread stds and …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 12:17 AM
1

I agree. OLD seems to be visual first and the human need for data and categorize things kicks in. Not mention meeting someone offline allows you personality to show easier. The old seeking adverts in papers show similar traits on relation to height,age range and physical appearance. Though some are more blunt than others. The mail order bride style ones are more focused on physical ability as are those living in rural areas/farm land.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 02:26 PM
2

The zoomers I know are either religious or into subcultures/hobbies where they can meet people. Having family/friends introduce you is also still common. Dating apps are uncommon in my circle as even those the met their partners online met them while participating in hobbies.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 08:43 AM
1

Some of it depends on who you are around. Most of the men I know are 5’10” and under. The taller men are gay or have been married for years so they don’t count. The average heights in the US are 5’4” for women and 5’9”. I always that my dad was 6’ but he is 5’10”. Unless the woman is tall,the man is unusually short,they are around unusually tall men or she is carrying around a measuring tape who can tell?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 08:25 AM
2

As a woman who is unable to obtain multiple adulthood milestones,much less dating ones,it can be difficult.What is meant by maturity? Is it the cultural idea,which I have a bone to pick with,or a more objective matrix? I was around academically inclined,sometimes parent required,individuals and/or individuals who were not ready for sex/romance until later. Most didn’t do the traditional four year college route so that didn’t have that either.It seems silly to put so much stock into having so muc…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 08:18 AM
9

There used to be some but they either got hit in the purges or were abandoned. Given the type of admins or moderators on this site I’m not surprised.
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/22 11:13 PM
1

I(32F) did grow up with silent generationers up to couple fellow millineals. My parents are young boomers with their siblings being young boomers and older Xers. My family is mainly female so that has had some interesting consequences especially due to our (apparently genetic) fertility issues. I did escape from a cultish feminist/SJW (friend) group so I don't doubt you.I no longer identify as a feminist but it is everywhere so it is swimming up stream.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/22 04:57 PM
3

It seems to be having them balanced it the key. I had high testosterone, very low progesterone so my estrogen was comparatively too high. Then I had low testosterone, even lower progesterone and lower but still comparatively high estrogen levels. There are too many factors to point to just the hormones causing issues (having psychotic depression and actively trying to unalive myself is a big one). I now have a more balanced hormone profile and some libido that pops up (Due to brain damage It’s n…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/22 12:52 AM
2

Some of it is demographically,personality and group related. Another women I know is a self proclaimed sapiosexual. If a guy is a 10 but is dumb as a rock she loses any attraction towards him.Personally I’ve always heard 2-3 times a week as being considered the right amount to too much sex.I have mainly been around GenX females and older even as a young twenty something so maybe that skews things. From the view of an outsider who people keep venting to it seems the practical application of sexua…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/22 12:38 AM
5

There is also the difference between responsive and spontaneous sexual desire. Men fall more into the latter and women seem to mainly be a mix (I think some of that is due to changes in hormones during our cycles) with more responsive desire. I made a comment to the idea of “well why don’t you just ignore your sexual desires and they’ll go away”once. Apparently this can be the case (with mainly) women. Oddly enough when I had very high testosterone due to PCOS my sex drive showed up a few times …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/22 08:21 PM
3

Huh? Most of the men I’m around are relatives,married friends of the family or co-workers. I mean over 90% of my family is female, with most of the men marrying into the family, and I grew up around more females classmates than males so that might factor into it. I’m unable to drink,we don’t have public transportation here so I rely on family for rides because I am disabled, walking is dangerous because we don’t always have sidewalks,my idea of a party is going to the library and I went to commu…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/22 08:03 PM
4

Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/22 12:50 PM
1

Strangers…lack of theory of the mind strikes again.I had assumed they were mainly talking about men in their circle or someone they saw regularly in public places like classmates or co-workers. I’ve always lived in the suburbs where a car is required to get around and went to community college/ CE classes. I suppose I don’t meet that many strangers of either sex and when I do it’s at a public event,they are friends of people I already know or they are customers at my job. If you are are next to …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/22 12:49 PM
5

These are men I know. My idea of a party is going to the library or a small get together plus I’m unable to drink and only some streets around here have sidewalks so walking places can be dangerous. Maybe that helps with my chances.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/22 02:37 AM
25

I recently got into an argument with another woman because I said,in my experience, I feel safer around men then I do women.It was a discussion about femcels and how society will infantilize women and overlook their bad traits while laying the blame on me. Apparently it is offensive for me to say I feel safer around men “and most women”. I can see women either already having unresolved trauma or having enough bad experiences that they peace out. We tend to rely on group opinion more than men.Hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 11:58 PM
3

It also often correlated with our cycles. I’ve seen a case where the woman was up front about only having a noticeable libido during ovulation and sometimes during her period. The dude,he admitted this,thought he would be the exception because she’s hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 06:20 AM
2

I had a severe caffeine addiction (14000+ mg a day) that was self medicating untreated ADHD. Given the increase of dopamine seeking and maladaptive coping behaviors. Some parents I know found out their early elementary children were exposed to porn by their peers.
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/22 03:10 AM
4

Personally it was unintended neglect from my parents.They grew up in households where material things and working were how you show love and It wasn’t uncommon for one or both of both of them to work 60-80 hours a week. I spent up until 5th grade in daycare and school .They also got bad advice/ information that made some things worse. They were told that my ADHD was basically a mild learning disability that adults don’t have and that I need to be pushed otherwise I would fail. Somehow they were …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 05:55 AM
6

I’m one of those people that will sabotage any sort of relationship so I push them away before they can leave me.I have a fearful-avoidant/disorganized attachment style which is the hardest to reverse.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 11:01 PM
1

If people stopped using the apps would things get better? It seems to depend on factors like location. I’m in a suburb,and for all of its faults,it does allow me access to everything from large cities to small towns with a hour of me. This allows for more people available versus someone out In the boonies. We used to have city hosted meet ups for under 65 adults but enough people didn’t show up to warrant them.Same with adult hobby classes and groups. Unless it is a special niche,parenting relat…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 09:10 PM
2

Part of the issue with doing things like swiping on everything is it is getting men shadow banned on places like Tinder which is counterproductive. I won’t say that isn’t having standards it’s more that the standards are murky which can complicate things. I am going with at least a short term arrangement here not just a ONS as that is what I have been told and read about mostMy circle leans religious and are in places where meeting their partners offline is the most common. I agree there is more…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 08:08 AM
6

Most people aren’t in a place where dating is a good idea and tend to be oblivious to those not on their radar. People keep wanting trappings of a exclusive relationship while keeping it casual.It’s the weirdest thing. Having conversations is apparently hard. I’ve seen people marry without discussing things like children,finances,etc. Boundaries and standards are shaky. Men will cast a wide net(which is getting them shadow banned on sites like tinder),both aren’t setting boundaries,laying it out…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 10:13 PM
1

Cons- I’m a Scorpio with a vindictive streak. I can do basic dishes and follow recipes but the ADHD is real sometimes. I am stubborn as all get out I either have a hyperfixation for cleaning and organizing or my executive function won’t start. So it’s a toss up. I’m a hugger and cuddler. I get in research mode and will info dump. I’m literally allergic to outside. I’m an ambivert. I am bossy but working on it. Pros- I’m a basic cook,can do laundry, will clean a toilet over vacuuming,can follow a…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 10:00 PM
4

I agree (now). Most of the highly promiscuous people of both sexes I’ve know have a traumatic past ,particularly sex trauma, and have to get wasted to do things or otherwise use it as a coping mechanism. That’s not to say everyone promiscuous is like this but it does seem to becoming more common.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 12:52 PM
4

I’ve seen enough relationships of all sorts to know that sometimes you have to pull the plug. No one is owed a friendship or romantic relationship.There are friends that have some level of attraction but know that being together would be a disaster or that the feelings are temporary or otherwise not strong.I would prefer someone to tell me why they are pulling away or pull away at all versus doing the passive aggressive “nice guy/girl” BS. Had a female friend do this and woman are worse then men…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 12:44 PM
1

I tried a few types for PMDD symptoms in my early 20s and they made me more suicidal. I got at at 30 the rod now to stabilize my hormones and progesterone. If got pregnant I’d call the doctor and the Vatican because It would either be a miracle or demonic occurrence. I had an ablation so if my complete virginity (I don’t count my CSAs) and minuscule chance at becoming pregnant was overcame it would be a medical emergency.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 12:25 PM
6

To be fair there is a large gay/bi male customer base. If you want to see ridiculous toys look at toys/websites geared towards them.
/r/MensRights05/08/22 01:37 PM
1

The two main ones I’ve seen are where the person who likes the other plays it close to the vest and doesn’t tell them or where the other person knows they like them and uses it to their advantage. Luckily most of the cases where disclosure happened it was reciprocated. I suppose you could call asking a friend out and them declining because they don’t feel the same way being friend zone. Some of it is dependent on how the asker reacts. I’ve seen it where a girl asked a guy out , he declined and s…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 07:49 PM
1

Here in Texas singles of both sexes can adopt. Realistically it depends on where you’re adopting from (from something like foster care or a private adoption agency for example) and some private agencies will only adopt to married couples. My aunt adopted my cousin in ‘96 as a single woman. It was a private adoption where she knew the mother though so the circumstances were a bit different.She was required to show there would be a male presence in his life. Surrogacy is legal in Texas though trad…
/r/AntiFeminists03/08/22 09:57 PM
6

I’m an ex-feminist/SJW as well and either get a “no true Scotsman” fallacy or that annoying internalized misogynist/pick me label.I have been around more women than men but most of my abusers were female. Something they keep saying doesn’t happen. I once asked a women who she thought got the 19th amendment passed? She was quiet on that.Women are the majority of voters today so balancing it on the men is silly.
/r/AntiFeminists03/08/22 09:38 PM
4

FLR/Cuckhold captions can be ridiculous. Are there people who naturally fall into this lifestyle? Yes but they are a majority. A big complaint from Cuckholdresses/Dommes is men keep coming at it through (inaccurate) porn. Add on things sissification and things get weird.
/r/AntiFeminists03/08/22 09:29 PM
1

I thought liking sex at all was a sign of severe mental illness until my mid-20s so I’ll probably never be a sex positive person. I will say that the promiscuous individuals of both sexes I’ve known have a CSA /abuse/trauma background and tend to have to be drunk to do anything. Men and women are different and attractive people are held to a different standard.It sounds like a values incompatibility.If you value restraint in a partner then someone who sleeps with everything that moves will be un…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/22 02:51 PM
3

People seem to simultaneously except commitment but non-commitment situations. I’ve heard people say “I thought we were exclusive” when finding out their partner wasn’t. Maybe it’s the Autism but having a conversation about expectations at the very least is a good idea. Talking to my younger boomer and gen-x family members dating multiple people casually to get to know them then seeking commitment when an exclusive relationship is reached was common.Those I know that are dating for marriage stil…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/22 02:20 PM
2

I never was approached anyway well not that I noticed I’m also that person who with talk to whoever is around me at the time so maybe they did I just didn’t have anyone to point it out to me. Honestly I can count on one hand how many times I’ve end cat called,most were people I knew,and a random customer who complimented my butt.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 07:06 PM
1

They could: a. Be in that I want everyone to know period,b. Need social recognized/approval or c. Be the braggy sort.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 03:25 PM
1

I like cleaning as it relaxes me so I wouldn’t care that much. My only issue is I tend to get the cleaning bug after 23:00.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 03:20 PM
1

It depends on foot/arch shape. Flats are more uncomfortable for my flat feet and I toe walk so my foot is in a steeper arch anyway.I’m assuming they are pumps.
/r/AntiFeminists29/07/22 02:38 AM
1

My aunt was in an Independent fundamentalist Baptist church. Mine was technically a friend group that went wrong. I was suicidal and friendless looking for more dominant people to help me.I was love bombed and taken in to the group.They were really into social justice and feminist issues.I was more gullible at the time and believed them when I was told I don’t need to look at outside sources or I needed to work on this SJ thing now because I could sleep later. When I wouldn’t I was called lazy a…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 07:49 PM
2

I was in a cultish group. Love bombing is real. The most dangerous part is leaving the relationship. You either get excuses and then trying to make up for it or they get angry/violent. One aunt ended up in the hospital and another (who was in a religious cult) had her ex put a gun to her head after shooting her dog. People want to be treated how they think they should be treated. An abusive relationship that you are used to/have way to manage it is more comfortable then starting over. Trauma cha…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 04:18 PM
1

How one grows up has a huge effect on your adult life. I won’t say it is necessarily sex based it’s more based on what coping mechanisms you have access to in general. Doing my own trauma work has been eye opening. It’s also frustrating to be around others who won’t at least try to do work I themselves. People don’t like to be emotionally vulnerable and often sabotage themselves. This does nothing to help with resentment and healthy attachment. Some of it is nature and some of it is nurture.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 04:12 PM
3

I know women who dated scene kids and Emos as teenagers. They are with what we would have called preps now. It does seem odd to look at teenagers and go “look at who she dated”. Most of my friends didn’t date because their parents either expected them to focus solely on school work and extracurriculars and/or they were like mine who were total helicopter parents. Not to mention the shy,the ugly ducklings and the mentally ill. Most of my circle didn’t do traditional college,opting for community c…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 03:07 AM
29

This latest trial was a civil case over defamation which has monetary punishments not criminal one’s. She’s had the cops called on her for public domestic abuse before. Other countries are looking into criminal charges for various things and are working with the FBI. She illegally brought dogs into Australia and countries are strict on those type of things. I’ve seen people get in trouble for fruit and plants. This is the exact quote: “Tell the world, Johnny, tell them: 'I Johnny Depp, a man, I’…
/r/AntiFeminists22/07/22 11:33 PM
0

Most people treat me/react to me like I’m a kid.I’m an ambivert that never stops talking to the point people think I’m sick of I’m quiet. IIf I was shy or quieter people probably wouldn’t notice me. I am on the spectrum and went through socialization/communication classes growing up so maybe that’s the difference. Apparently there have been a handful of guys that have approached me in the past but I had to be told that was what they were doing. I am fairly oblivious.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 02:53 AM
1

Flexible with the in group but not the out group. We were told to not look at other sources when I was in the cult. Cutting off problematic people was becoming a thing at the time and trying to win people over at your own expense was common.There is a high level of mental illness, personality disorders and neurodivergance (I hate that word but it works here) involved.
/r/AntiFeminists21/07/22 10:05 PM
1

I’ve found that to be true. I’ve known individuals from cultures where matchmaking/parent led dating searches are common. It seems to work out fairly well for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 08:19 PM
2

Some of that is projection. The feminist/SJW movement(s) demand conformity and black and white thinking. Plus,yet again, if they are only around male feminists (or abusers but that is redundant). I’m close to doing a post using the cult check list…
/r/AntiFeminists21/07/22 08:17 PM
8

Maybe it’s because my circle is more date to marry/find a ltr but first dates are usually more public casual get to know things. People pay for their own food /drinks or sometimes go Dutch. They are usually at coffee shops or similar places.At some point taking turns happens. Maybe it’s how I was raised but I would be embarrassed to not at least offer to pay for my food/the tip. I also think having a discussion about where you want to go/can go is worth having especially if there is a known fina…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 08:10 PM
–

It’s also dependent on location. If you live in an area where most people are overweight then even being on the high end or slight over your ideal weight range won’t count against you as much. Same with finances. If the cost of living for the area is say 85 (100 equaling the national average) the job requirements are different then a 140 area.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 03:01 PM
6

Most think they are right and project like an old school classroom projector. In my corner of the cult mental illness ran rampant and male feminists were total creeps. Free thinking isn’t encouraged and when I was excommunicated many refused to ever speak to me unless absolutely necessary.
/r/MensRights21/07/22 02:43 AM
10

I have seen some DNA test fallout. Previously unknown children, a convoluted old school “I’m pretending your child is mine to save us from shame” turned soap opera,step/adopted/ agree to raise their spouses illegitimate child parents who didn’t tell the child they aren’t their biological parents, and a “ oh he actually was my father after all” story Maybe it’s because my genetics are such that I decided I wouldn’t pass them on as a preteen but I think testing is important.Maybe do a package deal…
/r/MensRights20/07/22 09:22 PM
0

Do you want the feminist/ SJW me’s answer or current me answer? The short answer is:Power + privilege nonsense and the oppression stack.Also projection.
/r/MensRights14/07/22 08:50 AM
5

Things are interesting out there. My issue isn’t the individual feminists/SJWs themselves it’s Feminist Inc as a whole. I’ve gone through the cult checklist and they tick all the boxes. Big tent movements always do this. Atheism+ anyone?
/r/MensRights13/07/22 02:25 AM
6

I’ve been completely out since ‘16 and still am finding things to unravel. I usually use my talents for translating now. Might as well use it for something good. This is also why I have empathy for those still in it. Some kind conservatives and moderates helped me leave and kept faith even when I was terrible to them.
/r/MensRights12/07/22 10:43 PM
11

The last thing an ex-friend said to me was “I hope you get SAed so you know what it feels like” I am a CSA survivor. Having been in the cult (I use that word for a reason) I can say if those are the only men these women are around I can see where they are coming from. Self proclaimed feminist/SJW men have been the nastiest characters. Think child abuse/SA,confirmed DV/SA,and misogyny that would make the media’s portrayal of incels be shocked. It’s common for a man to call the cops on a an abusiv…
/r/MensRights12/07/22 05:04 PM
18

Most of my (32F) abusers were women and I’ve been stalked by a couple of crazies.I left the SJW cult and that was dicey. I keep getting “women don’t do that” and “oh you’re both women so it’s okay” while my male counterparts get “you’re bigger then her” and “what did you do to deserve this”.
/r/MensRights12/07/22 03:48 PM
3

They don’t like us women who enjoy the so called pink collar jobs and hate the (straight) men who do. Honesty being the boss sounds terrible to me.
/r/MensRights12/07/22 03:44 PM
1

In general this tracks. Some may not need it but social capital and vetting is important to many women. I’d argue to some extent it is to men as well.This referring to a potential long term relationship of some sort as that’s what I’m used to seeing. If nothing else have the opposite sex’s perspective is useful.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 03:27 PM
16

Between working with the public and having to attend socialization/communication classes growing up I have seen people’s social skills take a nose dive. When my autist self is one of the most socially aware individuals in the room we have an issue. There are also less opportunities for adults to interact. I can’t drink and it is hard to find things that are considered adult that don’t incorporate drinking culture.My city tries to have groups where adults can do things together but people don’t s…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 03:21 PM
15

Some of it is a generational thing. The only divorced individuals and widow(er)s I know are 55+. My dad remarried quickly and mom has no desire to.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 02:24 AM
17

I thought it was a joke but if she’s one of those that mean it then woof.
/r/AntiFeminists08/07/22 12:20 AM
1

They’re going from a dual income household to a single income household so both don’t have as much.Most of the divorces I’ve seen are either childless or the children are adults though. My mom makes double what my dad makes. They kept waiting for the other to ask for a divorce to the point we were taking bets on who be first. Dad started using the household email account to look for other women…but they are civil to each still.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 10:39 PM
3

I’ve always found the lifestyle argument to be a weird one.Yeah a two income family is more likely to have more disposable income. Who’d a thought it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 10:33 PM
6

I’ve seen a couple rush to try to serve the paperwork first. That was funny and divorce was the only thing they agreed on.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 10:27 PM
1

There are women into silver foxes as well. Women into more of a rugged Cowboy type will go older then a woman Into pretty boys. Most couples I know are with 5ish years of each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 12:13 AM
6

Both. When I was In the SJW/feminist cult these types would be around. We were the moral ones in the right and those pushing back feared what we’d say and needed to be educated. Not surprisingly there is large chunk from Abrahamic religions.
/r/AntiFeminists30/06/22 03:33 AM
1

I’m mostly around women and there have been men that we have warned to run away. Those that have done the trauma work all of a sudden aren’t as interested in toxic people as they were before.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/22 09:06 PM
1

I either ignore them or say something like “oh I don’t think you can this”. I’ve been asked if I was brain damaged or just stupid before (the former) so I give it that energy.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/22 09:03 PM
3

This covers most of the RP women I know. At its core RP is about human nature and behavior.I think most don’t have an issue with a woman being honest with herself and trying to change behaviors that aren’t helpful or things that effect her decision making. I
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/22 08:24 PM
13

I’ve known a couple of women like this. I’ve always been fat and I’ve had them ask me how to handle not being the hot one anymore. It is awkward to see these early 30s women who peaked in high school try to regain their former glory. Their shitty attitude is not taken well.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/22 04:04 AM
2

More education equals less kids. Most of the people I know with high level degrees have one if any.idiocracy got things right. Those I know with large(r) families are either religious, rural dwellers,more traditional,etc. My white trash relatives(They are terrible people and most have been kicked out of the family.) have 5-8 kids.
/r/MensRights27/06/22 12:27 AM
1

I have read the decision and disagree with that sentiment. I’m a textualist/originalist mix so it seems sound. I want to get rid of marriage as it is now so I disagree with the decision to expand it. Even from a precedent stand point you can argue for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 04:02 PM
11

I am female… I’m referring to those act like abortion is the only option they have.I’ve known women refuse to even track their cycles or use anything to prevent pregnancy.They keep saying they’ll just use Plan B or get an abortion. It seems like it would be more productive to advocate more access to BC options and explaining how your cycle works. I am a mix of a textualist and originalist plus I’m pro 10th so I agree with the decision from a legal standpoint.
/r/AntiFeminists25/06/22 03:56 PM
21

Staying away from male feminists would help… I’m pro-2A if someone is attacking her then I support her right to equalize the situation. However this sounds like many of these calls to action. What is with these people that abortion is the first thing they think of? Why not BC?
/r/AntiFeminists25/06/22 12:47 PM
1

They have already said they won’t overturn it. The argument I have is: Marriage is a legal right given by the government. The 14 says all citizens must be given the same due process and equal protection under the law (well except for the exception in 13th which I’m against) it’s basically a discrimination case.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 07:00 PM
2

From a constitutional stand point I agree with the decision.They made up out of whole cloth. Even RBG disagreed with how it came about. I am very pro-9th and 10th amendment and have no issue with them amending the US constitution.It should be a state decision. Obgerefell isn’t in jeopardy because it falls squarely under the 14th. There is no right to privacy given in the constitution.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 05:52 PM
1

There seems to be this need to to make relationships more deep than they are while trying to hold to causal standards. Causally dating multiple people at one time seems pretty normal. Whether both parties agree to it and have the same options is another matter but dating isn’t fair.Granted I’m used to a dating culture where causal dating is common, but sex isn’t on the table,and both partners drop any others when they go exclusive. From what family has said going out with multiple guys at a time…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 05:50 PM
1

I’ve found more women to be judgy then men IRL. Of course my definition*of a slut is different than most people so I don’t have an issue with slut shaming. *A slut is a person who goes after partnered people only,actively spreads disease purposely and is generally a nightmare to be around. I’ve known two and they were terrible people who ended up being convicted with rape. There was video involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 05:38 PM
1

I’ve seen it work more as social verification versus direct setting up. Women tend to view men with female friends as being vetted as well. I’ve had other women ask about guys I know before. I’m not the type to matchmaker but even I can say “he’s cool and single”.I do expect them both to act like brown adults though.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 04:23 PM
2

I don’t think they are replacements but trauma work has its uses.Social isolation does have a negative effect on people. I (autistic 32F) can tell desperation at times and I’m someone didn’t realize a couple was A: a couple and B:married for a year. It seems to be a catch 22 with one not having the experience but really wanting it,which can translate to desperation, while not being able to be able to cat unfazed because one IS fazed. I’m the token single which means everyone comes to me with the…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 05:00 AM
3

I’ve long seen a turn towards having one stay at home parent due to it costing too much to have both work. Standard of living will very based on location and what you want/prioritize. Most of the SAHM I know live in a more rural area and don’t live lavishly. Victory gardens and local farmers as family friends help. I’m not sure about doing it a big city or large town though.
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/22 03:12 AM
1

My family,and friends growing up,are the touchy feely types. I’m a hugger and one of the few mom (who I live with)let’s consistently hug her non-hugger self. My animals are a comfort. Even right now the queen of purring in my ear. I’ll admit I basically have no libido and what little I have I just ignore.I like my weighted blanket for my hyposensitive self.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 02:54 AM
1

I (32F)was kicked out of feminism and most of my abusers were female. I saw the damage done to men first hand especially being a female dominated family where most males married in. I believe in equality under the law and the current state of things leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
/r/MensRights22/06/22 12:30 AM
1

No alcohol is translated to family focused or quieter activities like library events. I don’t like being around alcohol so that leans more into day events I work weekends with my weekend being the beginning of the week) or family focused ones. I don’t smoke anything and my only drug is caffeine. It does out people. If they get mad because I am unable to drink for health reasons then they can sit on a cactus.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 04:48 AM
3

I didn’t realize just how strict my parents were until I talked to others.I’m the eldest and had to call them by a certain time after school on the landline and I wasn’t allowed to stay at the house of anyone Ethan had met in person at least twice.I couldn’t figure out how people were able to even do anything. I was in a group of that took advanced classes with one already half way through her college sophomore year when she graduated. My aunt was a doctor and would say that she could tell 80s m…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 04:42 AM
-1

I don’t,unless you count spam,but I’m not really on social media. I’m on Facebook for the groups because most of mine moved over there. I use YouTube and Reddit As well. I like word based platforms with no character limits so most of the newer ones don’t work for me. I’ve never been a picture taker and I still lean toward not putting it all out there as I was taught. I think some of it is a generational thing. I’m 32 and my 25 year old sister does more of that but not as much as our teenage cous…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 02:40 AM
5

Society is weird about singles in general but males get the brunt of it. I’m seen as either weird or brave for not wanting a relationship but my male counterparts aren’t as lucky. An exception is a guy in a career that requires years of schooling like a doctor.Some just assume he didn’t have time for a relationship (the doctors I know agree with that sentiment). Women are assumed to have a calming effect on men as well. If a location is trying to be sex balanced single guys are the first to be b…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 02:26 AM
2

We have one of these type in my family. We warn whatever guy she gets her claws into to run. When your Southern grandma is saying that you might need to rethink things. Your situation sounds different. This relative is well known as a pain and a walking stereotype. I’ve gone low contact.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/22 11:27 PM
7

Most of my (32F) abusers were women.The men in my life have been great though not without flaws.There isn’t this big fear about men in my circle but we also don’t go to a traditional college/live on campus (I can count on one hand how many have lived on a campus in the last 30 years), many don’t drink (much) and we aren’t into the club/ bar scene. Feminist men have been the creepiest dudes ever. I will say just finding friends when you don’t drink is hard much less finding a mate.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/22 09:03 PM
1

I’m in the camp that is anti-marriage as it is now. Marriage is a financial arrangement for the raising of children at most. If I was I. The position to get married I’d want royal/political style one as love is way below practical things for me. I find the whole first date thing strange in my circles coffee/lunch dates are the norm and the individuals pay for themselves. As for the third paragraph it was written awkwardly. I assume you are referring to the difference between a friendship and a r…
/r/AntiFeminists16/06/22 03:05 PM
1

Jeez. It should be obvious if she is pregnant and he hasn’t seen her in a year it isn’t his kid (unless it is a very rare IVF situation or other agreement. Even then the child’s DNA matched the sperm donors as agreed upon) this isn’t new though. In the pre/ early benefits system there was a practical reason a couple would have a shotgun wedding. The mother and child would need to be taken care of,usually by charities, poor houses or the church if not her family of origin, so having her under a h…
/r/AntiFeminists14/06/22 11:03 PM
1

I don’t have direct experience but am around many younger boomers/older xers. Men in this group marry fairly quickly after a divorce or even death of a spouse. My dad just married for the 3rd time (what was with the late 70s and people having quick marriages around 20? I know 6 different people who went through this) and my mom has no desire to date or remarry for a 3rd time. Co-(grand)parenting is easy unless there was strife in the relationship. I know many of my generation (I’m a middle mille…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 11:25 PM
5

I’m more used to it being thrown out as insult. It does seem counter productive but humans are a tribal species after all. I’ve been in a cultish group before and it hard to get out when you are enmeshed with them. I have been told by some that they’d just be called it anyway so why bother figuring out something else. That black pill hits hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 03:48 AM
22

When I was in feminist circles most of the self proclaimed feminist men were creeps, kiddie diddlers,actual sexists and/or abusers. There are some people that go too far but many are just venting and disillusioned. Mental health care is terrible many places especially for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 03:21 AM
3

Marrying by 25 and definitely before 30 is common in my circle. I know early 20s women having issues with dating because they want a man close to their age to marry. The whole date to marry culture is more female dominated. People are also not taught to be adults. I had to do skills for living and communication classes growing up plus my parents taught me certain skills. I’ve had a startlingly amount of young adults ask about how to use an oven or wash clothes.Still a I have to follow a recipe c…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 08:19 PM
3

Part of the issue I’ve seen is what type of job they both have. Dad went to college for some sort of retail management and has always worked retail related things. Mom works a desk job.Sometimes it is easier to leave one over the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 08:10 PM
1

You’d be surprised how many women prefer thin to slight overweight woman modeling. A plus size only woman’s brand uses thin models for their clothing. They used plus sized models and their sales went down. I usually don’t like to see clothing on models so I don’t care either way.
/r/AntiFeminists09/06/22 07:35 PM
9

I heard “women don’t do that” when I disclosed my (32F) abuse at the hands of a woman. A good chunk of those that support Depp are abuse survivors who are infuriated that she is,for lack of better phrase,preforming stolen valor. She has a history of stealing other’s experiences for her own…
/r/AntiFeminists06/06/22 01:47 AM
2

True. The jury was mainly male so I’m surprised I haven’t heard about “old white men”. Despite the fact the jury was mostly under 40 and Asian. I’ve heard he yelled and took it out on inanimate objects. I would be yelling too with her BS,not to mention one of the symptoms of ADHD can be mood swings,and I will also do the trashing stuff to release tension.
/r/AntiFeminists02/06/22 11:00 PM
29

I am but I’m also not looking for a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/22 08:01 PM
19

I had people not believe me because “woman don’t do that” but wasn’t openly mocked like my male counterparts were. I means there is satisfaction at things actually being more balanced but everyone I’ve talked to are happy about some justice being served.
/r/AntiFeminists02/06/22 05:22 PM
7

sigh Many of us who are survivors of abuse,female abuse in particular, had visceral reactions to her. The system worked how it is supposed to. This was a civil trial not a criminal one. I’ll give them they are entitled to their opinion but this lot has either not watched any of the trial or are deliberately lying (a little of column A, a little of column B).
/r/AntiFeminists02/06/22 11:52 AM
1

I think meaning gatekeeping is the Issue here. I view gatekeeping as a purely physical thing myself.I had people break my CDs because “that music isn’t for people like me”. People are saying that women,by virtue of being the pickier sex with more to lose,are the ones who decides if consensual heterosexual sex happens.More men would jump at the opportunity to have any sex then women so men are more reliant on us to agree to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 06:49 PM
2

There are two people in the relationship. They should have an idea of how they want the household to run before they get married.Life happens and you might need to change things up but having a basic idea will make things easier. Household chores are just something that has to be done. These were people who received allowances for basic chores aren’t they?The person who has the time to do them,likes the particular chore or likes things just so should do it/them.I mean I will volunteer to scrub t…
/r/AntiFeminists31/05/22 02:29 AM
1

Extroverts (and us ambiverts to some degree) get the attention. If you’re someone who has a more solitary hobby or are a true introvert then just having people realize you’re there can be difficult. Someone,of either sex,who is known for charisma, charm and being fun is going to be at least situationally extroverted. Someone with social skill issues,brain differences and/or unfortunate genetics will have a harder time. I think part of it is dopamine/drama seeking behavior. My autistic/ADHD brain…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 10:11 AM
1

At the very least it is a values/priorities incompatibility. Honestly if you don’t agree to the terms your partner puts out there and y’all can’t come to an agreement then leaving might be the best thing to do. My non- sexual ass is going “nine months isn’t long at all what are they talking about”? Reason 504 of why dating isn’t an option for me. I’ve seen an interesting case where a guy admitted that his girlfriend had been upfront about only having a noticeable libido around ovulation. He thou…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 09:57 AM
1

That seems like a little much unless they were messy people. I hate vacuuming and would rather scrub the bathroom.I’m clumsy so I’m forever knocking things off.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 10:08 PM
3

It’s a shit show. There’s:date younger or date older,be open to someone with kids, date down (she has a doctorate and makes good money),and accept you aren’t who men want. Many are commiserating,both men and women,about the dating pool. More red pill type content is brought up frequently. Some of the commentators are just plain cruel.
/r/AntiFeminists20/05/22 04:01 PM
15

She acknowledges it’s her that has unrealistic expectations for her demographic.That’s big. She wants someone HER height so maybe she’s tall?
/r/AntiFeminists20/05/22 02:33 PM
0

Same as a single individual. Even for straight married couples having an extended family and friend group is beneficial. I have issues with the system itself but as long as the individual(s) pass the checks I don’t have an issue with them adopting.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 03:28 AM
0

I’m anti-surrogacy and iffy on IVF so I’m against it.I’ve know single male adopters/custody holders and the hoops they had to go are astonishing. Any single parent needs a support system and an opposite sex role model is required.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 03:01 AM
1

I think the multiple definition of settl(e/ing) is a fault here. I use settle (down) with the definition of “to take up an ordered or stable life” (Merriam-Webster online dictionary). For me,in general,it has a positive or at least neutral connotation. Granted most of the ltr/marriages I’ve seen have been between people who are around average for the demographics of the area. The highest population for the city/town is less than half a million people and the lowest is under 8,000 people. Most ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/22 10:39 PM
1

No but somehow I’ve become people’s agony aunt anyway. I usually make it clear that I don’t have a horse in this race but some my find my outsiders perspective useful.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/22 10:13 PM
0

There is a high rate of miscarriage and fertility issues in my family so even the side that tends to marry by 25 is using some sort fertility aides. Others are child free or are like me don’t want to pass down faulty genes.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/22 09:49 PM
2

Are we including CSA or not in the definition?I don’t. My opinion as a virgin early 30s woman ,who also can’t drink,is that I’ve gone this long without doing it so why bother?Of course sex sounds as appealing as a root canal (which is probably less painful for me) so I’m an outlier. I find men don’t care about virginity status but woman care more. Especially groups that talk about their sex lives. Most people don’t care and I find me saying I have no desire for a relationship usually explains ev…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/22 09:40 PM
7

Some of it is the men not doing household work up to the woman’s standard. I say this as someone whose hyper fixation is organizing and cleaning.If you like things to be just so then it is easier to do it yourself. It depends on how the job. Dad has always worked retail, he went to school for it in the late 70s/early 80s, while mom has an office job. Unless it was his day off or they had plenty of people it was easier for mom to make up her time. Dad would do household chores and cook on his day…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/22 07:52 PM
3

I’ve had to explain that man comes from old English mann (along with numerous other languages with similarly spelled word) which meant human or person. They all had a word for male and female separately. Like sex and gender were synonyms until the 20th century.
/r/AntiFeminists09/05/22 03:52 PM
1

I can’t drink because of medical issues and don’t think highly of it. I grew up around alcoholics which didn’t help.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/22 11:48 PM
0

Roe was a terrible law. Even Ginsburg thought it wasn’t constitutionally sound. I am very pro 10th amendment.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/22 05:22 PM
0

I don’t believe bodily autonomy is a real thing that can exist (I think consent is a little more possible but I dubious on it)and I think the states should decide (or get a federal amendment passed),I would get rid of all of the alcohol if I could and I want to get rid of marriage as it is. I generally don’t recognize people’s marriages IRL.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/22 05:20 PM
1

In the studies women tend to fall in to some sort of blend of reactive and spontaneous attraction or reactive attraction with smattering of spontaneous attractions. Which is why the answers are so varied. The majority Men tend towards spontaneous while women have a distribution. There are different types of attractions. I find most women an individual ascetically pleasing but have no sexual desire towards them or least desire they want to act on. Things like BC,where she is in her cycle, and oth…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/22 12:44 PM
2

People tend to think I’m about 8-10 years younger. I don’t lie about my age at all.My (pre)teens to 20s were a dumpster fire. I’m excited about my 30s.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/22 12:22 AM
1

In my family it is common to have a household account and a personal account. If the money is in the same pot then does it matter whose money it is? I suppose if all of the finances are separate or the couple doesn’t share a residence then it is different. Wouldn’t the budget show what each bill is and how much each person would pay?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/22 07:37 PM
4

I’m brain damaged but most people usually think I’m ace so I go with that and I can’t have any sort of penetrative sex so It’s not an option. I’d be in a Claire non-sexual relationship. I can’t have kids,not that I’d want to pass down my crappy genetics anyway,and anyone who let’s me adopt should be shut down.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/22 07:49 PM
5

Age is a big factor as well. My parents are in their early 60s. Dad is married for the third time) and mom has no desire to do that again. Those people we know in their demographic men tend to remarry after divorce or their spouse dies fairly quickly. The women usually stay single or wait years.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/22 04:05 PM
1

There are so many variables. Ugly in one place will be average somewhere else. It depends on what they are looking for short arrangements or long term ones(I have an early 20s cousin who is dating for marriage but wants someone close to her age. It’s been difficult). Shy ,introverted people can be overlooked easily and if a woman is relying on a guy to ask her out it might take awhile. Some markets might be easier for one sex over the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/22 11:44 AM
20

Most people in the dating pool either aren’t worth dating at the moment or are afraid to give up some control/ trust others. Both sexes are blinded to those they don’t have any attraction to or who otherwise aren’t more outgoing.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 01:01 AM
3

I’m glad for my brain damage for once jeez. It’s that way for some but not most. Withholding sex is manipulation but declining or not wanting it is not in its self. Honestly if that’s her parameters then you either accept them or leave. Going with your second paragraph why would a guy stay with a woman who was being manipulative? I get guys don’t have as many options as women do but you aren’t getting one of your big conditions met why stay?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 12:55 AM
0

Education in general but especially both partners or female education. For some it’s an anti Natalist or belief in over population position/the world is terrible. The could be child free .It could be lack of time,especially with high demand careers involved,cultural traditions or just plain overthinking it. Money and resources isn’t an issue for this group.They tend to marry first then have kids later. There seems to be some level of cultural influence as Scandinavian don’t seem to share the sam…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 06:23 AM
1

Paying for yourself is common in my circle. Doing a coffee or lunch date is the most common first date.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 05:53 AM
0

I have one branch of my family who is at least middle class with two parent families. They have 1-3 kids with a slightly higher result with the religious and reproductive tech families at up to 5z. The white trash side has 5-8 kids and counting. Education is correlated with a reduction in children.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 05:19 AM
5

I’m the token single in circle with mainly married couples. This means I am called in for an outside opinion. Have there been sketchy things with friends? Yes but if most of the people in your life are saying someone is bad news and you usually trust their opinion then maybe reevaluate. Part of it depends on relationship boundaries.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 03:55 AM
1

I can’t tell if this is an age, location or using OLD issue. I know average (for this area) couples where neither one are in a high powered career/position and maybe one used an OLD app. I think you’d see more men settling down sooner but still have those sewing their wild oats depending on what their goal is. Having our lizard brains established when 40 was elderly and extending people’s lives (to the determent of some) has made a mess of things. Men may be able to reproduce longer but higher m…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/22 12:09 PM
1

To add on to this. Moving to a different area, graduating from schooling and making practical changes can add to this.I’m the token single never divorced or widowed person in my circle so I guess it works out. Dating apps aren’t always practical unless you want a long distance relationship in some areas. Some met online through non OLD means. The post secondary education I did do was at a community college or continuing education courses while living at home. With the average student being in th…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/22 05:39 AM
2

I don’t get this type of message. Rasing awareness about girls missing school due to lack of feminine hygiene products and cultural norms makes sense. Giving factual medical information is useful.Even talking points to discuss (disorders of)menstruation with people close to you and educational settings has its place. Maybe it’s because of my PMDD but I wasn’t able to just live my life.
/r/AntiFeminists18/04/22 11:12 PM
1

This seems to a compatibility issue. I seen incompatible relationship where one person was upfront and the other didn’t…believe them? Take them at face value? It’s a mess. People’s emotions often aren’t logical. Threesomes and moresomes seem like a klutzes nightmare.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/22 08:54 PM
3

You’re already in a relationship of some sort. She has a point.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/22 02:39 AM
1

Women seem to care more of those that care. Both sexes tend to not care unless there is jealousy or insecurity involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/22 09:50 PM
2

Hmm. I grew up with the idea that if someone doesn’t want to do what you want to do then you have to make them. I frequently heard “you won’t do something unless I yell at about it” .Honestly with my ADHD (I was diagnosed as a kid but it was treated like a child only learning disability at the time) I need multiple reminders whether by alarm or person. I had to look up what nagging is. I consider flirting to be over friendliness so I just assumed nagging was just repeated reminders.Thinking abou…
/r/MensRights11/04/22 08:57 PM
3

Depending on what career your partner wants it might be cheaper to have someone stay home with young child or do schooling/work from home/work part time. It is possible to graduate without (much) debt. It will take longer to go through school but you won’t have the debt and will most likely be involved with an employer who can at least give you a recommendation. There is the old style of putting your spouse through school but that can be iffy now.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/22 09:25 PM
1

No absolutely not. I already drive myself crazy and don’t like being around others with a similar personality most of the time anyway.I’m a bibliophile so that would be fun. The ADHD in the room though.I have a habit of running people off before they can leave me so we would either be fighting,talking over each or ignoring each other depending on which way the ambivertness is leaning that day. We’d both be face blind and I am basically a shorter,heavier , slightly curvy female version of my fath…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/22 04:13 AM
2

Pretty much.From a female prospective I find the whole “you do have have options but are just picky” to be an interesting argument from guys. I knew/know younger women who were/are considered ugly,fat,weird,have no/low libido or otherwise have issues.I am one of those women.I also know women who think too highly of themselves. I don’ blame men for running g away from them. I honestly think it is a systemic issue at this point. My parents, who are young boomers, weren’t adults when the feminist m…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/22 09:51 PM
2

The feminization of men,hormonal birth control, broken families (I view nuclear and extended families as the same thing because that’s what I grew up with),mental illness,etc. Talking to some younger boomer/older Xer family members it was common to marry to get out of a bad home situation. Not having a strong male role model does lead to abandonment issues in both sexes. I have seen women change their types at younger ages especially after going through therapy.They also dealt with abuse at youn…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/22 03:10 AM
2

It depends on what you count as cheating. I don’t believe in emotional infidelity personally but know people who absolutely do and count it as cheating. Most of the relationships with cheating I’ve seen were already dead. I was betting on when my parents would actually divorce because neither one would end it. Is it better to hear “hey I want to break up/divorce” before anything happens (assuming everything goes smoothly),after everything falls apart or to never know at all? DNA sites are tellin…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/22 02:48 AM
1

Cleaning and organizing is a hyperfixation for me. I might get distracted and work on another thing I need to clean but I’ve been keeping things tidier. This week I have been hit with a full force of the nothings and I hate it. I can’t keep a thought in my head,had issues at work and can’t find something to keep my brain occupied. At least with my depression I got to sleep and my pseudo manic state had me cleaning things with a toothbrush. Ugh.
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/22 12:28 AM
1

Interesting. That seems to be more of a female thing then. Probably why erotica and smutty romance is marketed at women because we tend to be more in our heads. Thanks for answering. I’ve been curious about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 03:53 PM
2

I heard more complaints about the pontification of sex. Women and teenage girls complain that they are being used as a blow up dolls or their male partners pulling porn style moves on them,pressuring them into or “surprising” them with anal ( a purely anal orgasm is possible for both sexes but it takes work) or choking (both kinds). It can be dangerous. There is a reason gay and girl/girl porn viewing is up among women. I do wonder about the use of this type of porn at all. Is purely using your …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/22 08:08 PM
1

Below average but ambitious. I have face blindness and some of the hallmarks of an extremely attractive male face scare me. I also live around fairly average people people. Many of the most attractive here would be average in a big costal city. I already view marriage as a financial/legal contract so attractive wouldn’t be a main quality I’d look for anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/22 11:02 PM
1

I did an edit. I am a 32F virgin who falls into the subscriptions category so I may be projecting. There seem to subjective red flags for some people.Depending on your culture being in a 30+ year old virgin might have a stigma to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/22 05:40 AM
2

How are we defining virgin? Is it like me who considers hand jobs to be sex? Oral and further or just PIV? I agree with some others. She is more likely to: - Be highly religious -Have grown up highly sheltered/over protected. -Was/is high academically focused -Highly career focused -more likely introverted/shy/less social. - have issues/subscriptions -be less interested in sex or put it as a low(er) priority. - be considered unattractive and/or weird Age does play into it. A 20 year old would ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/22 04:02 AM
1

It’s possible though it depends on the individual. I am more on the of laying everything out side of things. Intentions matter and if you aren’t being clear about them then getting mad mad seems silly. I’ve know both men and women who can’t be friends with someone they have at least a crush on. Some might be attracted to the other but don’t deem it important enough jeopardize the relationship. Proximity is a big part of it. You have more of a chance to develop feelings for those you’re around mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/22 02:39 AM
1

I was once told “we want people to treat us how we think we should be treated”. Are some people walking Murphy’s laws? Yes but many grow complacent and are comfortable in their familiar circumstances. If you keep getting the same type of person you either have shit taste or there is something about you that is causing it. It’s not a fault thing it’s a you can only control yourself (manipulation aside) thing. During my trauma work I had to learn how to forgive myself for how I responded. I find i…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/22 04:21 PM
1

The market also depends on where you are. Unless you can/want to do the LDR thing then the options around you are what you are working against.Especially if you aren’t in a suburb or major city. I’ve known those that are considered gorgeous but they live in a 7K town. If they were in a big city they’d most likely be considered closer to average.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/22 04:12 PM
1

I’m mainly an anxious type. Even as a kid I would sabotage relationships because I didn’t want the other person to leave me so I ran them off instead. Acting like a avoidant might get you in the door. It does depend on what you want. I mean if you want clingy you’ll get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/22 09:07 AM
3

Women tend to vote more than men in the US. Personally being in charge sounds terrible. I’d rather be somewhere in the middle.Many people don’t want to be the boss.Not to mention the roles of our government(US) have been expanded beyond their original ones. In order to become wealthy (generational wealth is the minority now.Even if you come from or come into money it doesn’t mean you’ll keep it)you have to get rid of all of the crabs in the buckets and keep company with those with a similar mind…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/22 04:16 AM
2

I like looking at old personal ADs and letters.Men’s height (6ft+)is often mentioned in the 20th century ADs. For the 19th century one’s it depends on the the woman’s status. More men than women write in and a wealthier widow could be picker than a poor maiden. For both men are more likely to mention financials and positive features like being tall and in shape.Women give more physical descriptions of themselves. Less so in the 1980s and early 90s but it does happen. Part of it could be the incr…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/22 12:07 AM
1

I am a starer. If someone/something catches my eye I will stare at them/it. Not sure if that’s the Autism,paranoia or ADHD but if you intrigue me I will watch you. I do like people watching and I work with the public.It has led to some awkward situations.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/22 11:54 PM
2

Indeed.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 02:47 AM
1

I can see that. Of course I view marriage as a business agreement and love would be towards the bottom of priorities. He could have have an arrangement if he wants and I’m a cuddler who enjoys cleaning but it would be business partners/roommates style relationship. Hopefully with a friendship at its base. That’s probably while divorce doesn’t make sense to me and no one would want to marry me if I could have kids. Not many view relationships as transactional as I do In suppose.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 02:12 AM
1

I’m sorry that happened to you. I’ve been lucky because most of the divorces I’ve seen ended up with the ex-spouses being friends or at least polite. A couple involved the wife in the hospital. I don’t blame those who won’t do the marriage thing.I view marriage as a mutually beneficial financial agreement in order to raise kids. Even if I was in a place to marry I wouldn’t have many takers. The first time I meant someone with a negative divorce ended up awkward.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 12:49 AM
2

I think this is part of it. I’m unusual in that I don’t believe bodily autonomy exist (I’m still so so on consent) and I am anti-sex work. I also am a never acceptable on the Heinz dilemma. What I don’t get is why the porn use at all? Why not use your imagination? Maybe some erotica or someone who does it for you. I find porn boring and have face blindness so maybe that’s why I don’t get it. Most of the hardcore porn users I’ve know (the kind who would take porn over a real live person every tim…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 12:09 AM
2

I’m used to date to marry and sex only in a relationship usually marriage in my circle. This sounds like the more liberal version of what we do. Do a low pressure public meeting and then date casually if a connection is there. Going to each other’s house alone (marrying by your mid 20s is common and most live at home for college if the go to college) won’t happen but more invested dates will if you go exclusive. Pre marital counseling is common. It’s smart. I’ve seen some causal restaurant dates…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/22 11:40 PM
1

It does depend on what you mean by overweight as well. I live in an obese area. Many of those people around here call skinny are still overweight due to fat. Our perception of normal,overweight and obese is so skewed. Once I lose my excess fat I’ll still be considered overweight because I gain and keep a high lean body mess easily.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/22 10:39 PM
1

Most of my circle is religious or otherwise want the whole kit and caboodle.They also live in rural areas or small/midsize suburbs and cities. Most make around the US average or lower. These are two parent families that live below their means with practical skills. Some of my older female relatives didn’t have kids because they refused to have kids out of wedlock. Some parts of the family still do shotgun weddings (not the trashy side though) so there is that. The more educated a couple is,espec…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/22 02:10 AM
1

Totally. Having biological kids would be irresponsible of me but I like kids and wouldn’t mind if the guy had kids. I’m used to effective co-parenting relationships where there are 3-4 (step) parents involved. Mind you I’m also used to non contentious divorces as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/22 05:54 AM
1

We know the more educated a woman/couple is the less children they have.In my own family one branch has 1-2 children,another fairly educated but religious branch has 2-4,and the white trash part has 5-8. I have known traditional women who go (back) to work/school after their kids leave or hit a certain age.Not all of them wanted high powered careers but some did.I am used to two parent or effective co-parenting families though.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/22 05:32 AM
1

It can benefit men who see it as a benefit. I come from a religious family (on both side) where pre marital counseling is encouraged. There have been engagements broken off because both figured out it wouldn’t work. Divorce has either been due to abuse (an aunt ended up in the hospital) or the divorce is at least cordial. I’m used to two parent families and cooperative co-parenting after divorce myself. Realistically(discounting divorce at the moment)it has more benefit to those who have kids an…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/22 05:44 PM
5

Judism has that as well. One side of my family is Southern Baptist and the other is Roman Catholic. Married intimacy (physical and emotional)is considered good.Intentionally withholding it is considered cruel. Judaism has family purity laws. For most Christians even if sexual intimacy isn’t possible or recommended other infancy can be had.That’s where things break down I think.If you are in an apathetic marriage nothing will save it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/22 10:57 PM
5

I come from a primarily lower part of the upper middle class family and most of my female relatives have worked. Some may have taken off/delayed work to watch young children,I’m seeing more two parent families not be able to have both parents work, and went back to school/joined the work force later.I also have farmers in the family so they always worked in a family business. Most of these women were married at 17 -22 and had kids soon after. A couple that were born in the 20s ended up with adva…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/22 10:07 PM
2

I grew up with this style of mixed sex friend group so I’m used to it. This is the group that was making cannibal jokes when a friend had terminal cancer as a teenager. I’m also that person that will go to events by myself so I can meet people. I do the ADHD insertion thing but it’s not targeted to anyone in particular.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/22 04:30 PM
2

It depends on whether you’re going by the pills as an observed truth or as a plan of action. If a pill is true then most people will follow those observations whether they are aware of them or not.If you are successful already you aren’t seeking them out. Someone with a good sense of self (or at least projected confidence) and good communication skills is more likely to already be successful.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 06:41 PM
1

Not always but more than likely. In order to be new money wealthy (which 80% of the wealthy are) you have to make sacrifices. Relationships are a big one and women tend to be more driven by them. There is more pressure on men to provide though I have known women who face similar pressure. College is overvalued but that’s a different issue. I grew up in the lower part of the upper middle class but my parents handle money poorly so you wouldn’t always know it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 06:31 PM
2

I honestly don’t see the issue with going on a casual coffee date. My circles are more on the side of dating for marriage so being able to check for surface level compatibility quickly is key. Going Dutch or alternating is common later on.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 06:21 PM
3

Maybe. There are sex differences,the fact dating is so hard supports this, that are both biological and environmental in nature. It depends on the individuals involved. Ideally those in such a relationship would have good communication skills and strong sense of self. Though as many train wrecks as I’ve seen that is not always the case. I’ve also seen non monogamous where a male partner doesn’t get as much attention as a female partner. Swingers and similar types talk about this often.Many have …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 06:14 PM
1

This also tracks with my older female relatives,who married in the 50s and 60s, saying marry a man 3-5 years older than you. Most were married at 17-21. I do wonder about generation breakdowns now. The oldest millennial is in their early (mid 40s for those that start at ‘77)40s while the youngest is going into their late 20s. The oldest Zoomer is in their mid 20s while the youngest going into their tween years. I could marry someone about a decade older and still have them be a millennial as wel…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/22 10:57 PM
2

I have multiple disabilities and my family tends to age slower (barring illness or lifestyle choices) so it’s hard to say how much of my treatment is that versus my femaleness. We are not held to same standards 99% of the time. I was sexually assaulted by a woman as a girl and was told it couldn’t have happened because “women don’t do that”. I think realistic different treatment is a good thing. Unless we’re going all Harrison Bergeron people aren’t equal. Equality under then law is as close are…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/22 06:29 PM
1

There are those who use their face (sometimes bodies) as a canvas. I like fairly minimal make up myself. Honestly some of the biggest appearance changes on social media/videos is filtered and/or editing. Transforming yourself into a character/person is also a decent sized market. Professional/theatrical make up has its purpose. Lighting can make you look washed out. Blemishes and discolorations need to be erased/minimized. I know guys who will use a little concealer on a pimple and there are sub…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/22 05:18 PM
2

I (32F autist raise upper middle class)was,and still am to some extent,overprotected,,sheltered and raised under strict rules. I would be grounded if I didn’t call (on a landline)by a certain time after school. I was barely allowed to watch anything pg-13 or over until I was 17. Our desktop and Tv were in shared space. I do assume others think like me or certain things are normal. Having childlike wonder and being able to trust others is a good thing.It’s being those to a point where it is possi…
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/22 05:43 AM
1

It works the way it is designed to. Some doing the OLD thing is most likely lacking something already even if it’s just a lack of people in general where they are. With the apps being so male heavy anyway and those that already options not bothering It narrows the pool even more. My circle doesn’t do much OLD but I have heard stories about other people they know. There are women that do have trouble with getting responses but they tend to be the ones that have the same problem IRL.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/22 04:36 PM
2

Me:32F,live in a 45K suburb to a redder city,an associates degree at community college,single and live with mom due to my disabilities and her health. Most people I know are in LTR or married. Most married in their early-mid 20s,a few are on the road to engagement. Dating to marry is common in my circles. Most are average looking for this area and married their looks match. School teachers,medical professional and techs,repair techs/trade jobs office workers,It techs and SAHPs and are the most c…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/22 10:26 PM
2

Did you mean to respond to me? I was just pointing out that an adrenaline and anxiety rush is a thing. It’s a reason why people will go for the volatile and unpredictable. Of course I’m that weirdo who would find someone telling me I’m their stable place romantic and view marriage as only legal contract to Addie in the raising of children. My dad’s parents (who were married 60 years)always said they didn’t love each other the same way they did when they got married,and were still in the honeymoo…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/22 08:49 PM
10

To be fair that rush isn’t always positive. I’ve known people,and do this myself with friendships,who equate volatile,unhealthy relationships with a rush and blow it up when things are settled.Of course culturally it is frowned upon to be all over each other around others so who knows. I assume this culture of constant dopamine hits and dopamine seeking isn’t helping.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/22 05:09 PM
1

I depends on why he is a virgin. I’ve known both women and men who had a high achievement drive and spent their time working on themselves and their position in life.They also have the benefit of being in careers/positions where networking is common plus they are more likely to be around those of similar status.This doesn’t mean boring at all. I’m talking about an upper middle class individual in this example,which I grew up as and by proxy still am, experiences are a big thing for us. If he is …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 07:51 PM
1

Having female,trusted male and couple friends who can vouch for you goes a long way. Depending on your circle having a grandma (figure) vouch for you also works.Especially if you have the matchmaking types in the group. I learned hostess skills growing up,not that I used them,but I go to functions by myself to interact with others.I am an ambivert though.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 07:56 PM
1

I can see that. I couldn’t figure out how people were able to have sex as teens. Apparently my parents were stricter than I thought.I wasn’t allowed to stay at other people’s houses overnight as a teen without my parents calling to check in on me several times.Even at relatives. If I didn’t answer the landline when they called I could be grounded and out tv and computer were in an open space. I thought it was illegal to have sex under 17 at all and I told on people who were doing illegal things.…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 12:15 AM
5

They seem to either have terrible taste in partners or they are the issue and are projecting.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/22 08:07 AM
1

I’d argue that it isn’t the only or always the most important but it does have its place.There are people who value sexual self restraint in themselves and their partners. I’ve mainly met those who are promiscuous due to trauma so I can’t say what none trauma based promiscuity looks like for most people. Personally sex sounds about as appealing as a root canal. I’ve asked people why they can’t just not have sex and have been yelled at so shrug.I’ve been called a dirty prude before. Honestly If y…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/22 10:41 PM
2

Most of the promiscuous men and women I have known have a traumatic background. They do display these traits. Impulse control is important. What is impulsive to one person is deliberate to another.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 07:59 PM
1

The average is related to your environment. I’ve lived in places with between 7K and 45k people. Some of our 8-10s ended up in big coastal cities and they were considered average at best. I’m around average people, myself being below average, and they do alright. They date, though not as much as some, and their partners are usually average(ish) as well. There are mathematical rules for facial and body attractiveness. Extroversion and charisma can add points to your attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/22 08:29 PM
1

Part of it depends on where you are. I had a more conservative Southern upbringing in general and was prepared for a world that no longer exists for the most part. I was sheltered and that has been used against me. I don’t think the opposite is the best case either. Being realistic is a good thing but compromising your values isn’t worth it. Dating for marriage, the most common type in my circle, has its benefits and I think most people would benefit from pre martial counseling (they don’t have …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/22 08:20 PM
1

Respect is earned not freely given. I’m a loud,ADHD ambivert woman so forgetting me isn’t an option. I’ve only ever worked in food service so maybe it’s different in other fields. I’ve been where I work for almost 6 years and I’m older than many of my co-workers including some managers.People usually listen to me because of my experience and working on my family dynamic trauma has helped with my reactions.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/22 08:12 PM
1

I figure it is a mix of societal changes in expectations, the internet and social media boom, and people themselves. War disposability doesn’t have an effect anymore,at least in the west,though disposability in general does seem to be rampant.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 07:31 AM
2

There were more women who couldn’t find husbands (I thinking about the 19th century middling and high classes in particular here as I know more about that)due to the amount of dead or men that decided they didn’t want to marry.Societal expectations,religion and laws had their own effects.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/22 11:56 PM
2

Part of it is hormonal birth control. It effects mate selection and we tend to pick unsuitable males (that aren’t as genetically compatible) as our bodies continually think we are in the early stages of pregnancy. Honestly that is probably where some of this “She had a baby and now isn’t attracted to me” stuff comes into play. Between the forth trimester and seeing her spouse not pregnant or on birth control that ability to tell by a man’s sweat comes into play. Both sexes have their issues and,…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/22 07:49 AM
3

I was going from how these words are defined In my circles. Both are synonymous with psychopath and would be people that would be put in jail for their crimes.We weren’t allowed to freely watch PG-13 movies until we were 17 for reference. I’m assuming you mean the rom com type then. I’m not sure what the equivalent would be.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 09:42 PM
9

Femcels do exist and they tend to deal with similar issues as their male counterparts. They don’t seem to have as many in the extreme as Inceals but there are some that are that are…woah. My group usually calls the female players sluts. One of them admitted to trying to pass STDs along. Player and slut equal bad person who is tying to intentionally harm others to an extreme for me. Gold diggers are what they are. I knew one who tried to get her literally dying husband to change the will.Many are…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 09:20 PM
1

Maybe I just mainly know reasonable people,the nutty ones aren’t looking for relationships for the most part,but I haven’t seen the extremes put forth in this sub IRL except for those few that no one wants to deal with. I know it happens but my circle doesn’t do online dating,a couple met their partners during virtual hobby/gaming activities though,maybe that’s part of it. I’m on the side that marriage is a legal contract for the raising and supporting of children. I know a few couples who have …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/22 12:00 AM
3

I’m in the middle of the millennials and grew up in a conservative area.I was raised by silent generationers,greatest generationers ,younger boomers and older gen xers. I also have a part of my family that gets married or is at least on the way to it by 25. My single 27 year old cousin was making people nervous until he got engaged. They do date to marry and do pre marriage counseling though. We were told don’t have sex with someone you wouldn’t want to have a kid with and if you can’t talk abou…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 08:49 PM
1

Love bombing can suck. There are certain people I would never take anything from because I know their conditions and have gone at least low contact.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/22 08:35 AM
6

I was raised to say thank you if someone gives you a gift and to not protest it because it is rude to do so.I’ll argue that if someone does something with conditions attached to it while not disclosing those conditions then it’s on them. I do tend to be oblivious and hold people to the same standards that I hold myself to.Then I am surprised when they don’t meet those standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/22 04:25 AM
3

It can be a red flag but not always.I’ve seen smaller age gap relationships that were toxic and similar ones where they had their troubles but the overall relationship was healthy. I’ve known some fairly mature 20 year olds and my older female relatives (we’re talking greatest generation/silent generation here) told us girls to marry a guy 5-7 years older than us. One side of my family has taken this advice. I’ve also known some that are unusually immature and honestly the idea of them dating or…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/22 01:51 AM
1

It does have its place. I have more of a mix than some that, when combined my fix it personally, leads to ridiculous situations. I assume that there is a miscommunication most of the time and basic active listening ot reading skills to clarify.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/22 12:55 PM
2

Early 30s virgin who physically couldn’t have sex even wanted to. I don’t get the appeal honestly and have better things to do with my time. I do have brain damage and the parts the effect things like emotions and physical sensations are affected. What is love indeed.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/22 08:51 AM
2

Some of that is how our brains are wired. Women tend to be better multitaskers and are more detail and socially oriented. It can be learned though;I spent enough time in ADL and communication classes as a kid to know that. Most of the people I know found their partner at church and/or through a friend/relative. A couple met them in college. There isn’t a secular option in place. Work and school are risky. Roller rinks and other open group activity venues are harder to find. Activity clubs and gr…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 09:12 PM
1

It does seem to be generational.I’m in my early 30s and I only have a FB because forums that went down ended up over there and I am in book and podcast groups. My sister is 25 and has multiple social media pages but not as much as the teens we know. A/S/L? Yeah I didn’t even do MySpace. Facebook was my first social media account.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 08:47 PM
2

To save you the frustration the swinger community doesn’t view single dudes in the best light. Single women are always welcome and greedy girl parties/couples looking for a male third/single woman looking for a single guy are a thing but not as common. Good luck getting into a club/party without a female half and/or paying out the nose.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/22 10:39 PM
3

I’ve seen this too. It tends to happen with younger/immature group or jaded,bitter crabs in a bucket. Nothing like seeing 45 year old act like high schoolers. Woman are more socially oriented.It’s usually more subtle/passive aggressive but it absolutely does happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/22 07:05 PM
0

Kids aren’t an option for me. If I was in the position to I would totally go for a single dad though. I’m used to amicable/ civil divorces (or the few ones where someone ends up in the hospital or there is CSA involved)so I’d hope it would be like those where I’m friends with the kid’s mom/ step dad.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 05:44 AM
1

Does it really matter what the reason is? We know males and females are different from each other even if it is only how we are socialized.It’s a great thing that both nature and nurture shape us and make us different from each other. I did grow up around Southern Baptists and Traditional Catholics ,though I am not religious myself, and tend to have a similar outlook to them.I also (have)live(d) in places with between 8k and 45k populations which seems to effect things.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 10:00 AM
2

There are differences in male and female brains with regard to how both halves the brains communicate.We build more connections than men for example and favor certain neural pathways. Anyone reading this sub-Reddit can see differences much less interacting with those of the opposite sex.Environment does play a part of course and human biology can change (look at the negative unintended consequences of The Pill for examples) but we still have that primitive part of our brain to overcome. Male and…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 05:22 AM
2

I was the middle schooler who was booed out of speech class for saying that we should have at least soft uniforms. I was raised with the idea that school was my job so having a limit made sense. I did dress in thrift store denim jumpers and long skirts though so the whole school fashion show idea was lost on me. I graduated HS in ‘08. My current employer does not allow women to any visible piercings other then ears(and men can’t have any at all),no visible tattoos l,men can’t have have long hair…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 05:04 AM
1

I figured. When I am in a group of women, relationships of any sort,will inevitably come up.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/22 07:57 PM
2

I’m used to Southern culture and people trying to save me from myself. Most men either say I remind them of a little sister or their daughter. I’m below average in looks so It’s not lie I get that much attention anyway. From what I’ve been told men will try this to get In to your pants. For some it’s not a deal breaker that you don’t reciprocate and others… have the opposite reaction. I was raised to take people up on their offers unless I didn’t agree to the terms given. Even now at 32 I am sti…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/22 02:39 AM
1

Some of it socialization differences.What you noticed about those women is fairly common among women.I know way too much about strangers sex lives…The men I know,some who were jocks/frat guys,have the approach that your circle does. I find women tend to be like the myth then men are. I’m an autistic woman so I have a strange mix of both types. I also took communication/ socialization classes growing.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/22 01:08 AM
1

That’s the disconnect. In female circles our friends’ opinions about who we date/ hook up with means a lot and can change how we go about thingsIf your friends/family don’t like your partner you are more likely to dump them.It’s mostly been women who have an issue with my virgin status. Praising ,encouraging and co-signing behavior is what we do. If another woman said “hey it’s great that you hooked up with 100. Teach me your ways” versus “ I can’t believe you did that now there’s less men for t…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/22 12:48 AM
3

I swear my younger selfs opinion that liking sex is a mental illness and makes people crazy is looking more reasonable… Most people I know are/were married by their late 20s and I’ve only lived in places with 45k and under populations so that does skew things. Hook up culture is also uncommon. Both sexes exclude individuals that don’t fit their criteria. At some point you either have terrible taste or your person(ality) is the issue. This is how OTHERS view you. I say this as an autistic woman w…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/22 12:23 AM
2

Mine is about 7K or 45K so even between those two locations it differs. Location wise most of the US isn’t big cities even if a larger percentage of the population lives in one. The whole idea of a Midwest 7 if you will.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/22 07:23 AM
1

Wouldn’t average also depend on where you live? I know mostly averagish people by the standard here. More of them would be considered below average in a big city. If you live in a town with a four or five digit population then the numbers are skewed. I’m more familiar with the dynamics in small towns,colleges towns and decent sized suburbs in the southern US.Interestingly where I am has both more married men and never married single men compared to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/22 04:10 AM
2

Married filed jointly for 2021 at 12% :19,901 to $81,050 Single for 2021 at 12%: $9,951 to $40,525 HOH for 2021 at 12%: $14,201 to $54,200 Those are the ranges income for the 12% rate. Each bracket has a set number than is taxed the bracket rate on anything over the lowest range number. If both spouses make about 40k or less then it’s fine otherwise it goes up to 22%.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/22 05:21 AM
3

True. Those that have uneventful and/or uncomplicated divorces probably don’t talk about them much. If it is a dumpster fire and/or complicated then you are more likely to vent about it. Being used to ex-spouses being pleasant or friends with each other has led to some awkward situations.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/22 03:39 AM
3

I know couples who follow their culture’s arranged marriage traditions. A dowry is still involved though a set apart amount is kept for the wife just in case. It’s common to have a household bank account and an individual bank account on one side of my family. Granted most of the divorces I’ve seen have been amicable or civil ,other than a couple of cases of severe domestic violence, so the bad divorce thing is new to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/22 02:58 AM
3

That’s what I’ve heard from people. Most people would prefer some sort of arrangement over trying to find a new person frequently.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 02:26 AM
12

She’d probably go for a FWB or similar arrangement if she wants something semi casual and regular. I never lived on a college campus or similar situation but I’d imagine proximity would big a big part of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 09:28 PM
1

I didn’t say it was perfect but at least there is something. Having a personal account for each spouse and a household one is the norm in my family. They take a certain amount for household expenses, savings,etc and the rest is for them alone.Other than homes the biggest physical asset is the cars. Each keeps their own if there is only one then it depends on what it is worth. Honestly I only know a couple of people who got alimony. Most couples either had no/ little assets and no dependents,ther…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 09:14 PM
6

It would make it easier to check up on things. I could see that going over well… I knew two single parents (one male and one female)who had to pay child support who bought what was needed themselves for the child.The other parent(s) threw a fit over it. When asked about the arrangement both said they wanted to contribute more than just money to the kid.
/r/MensRights20/01/22 01:18 PM
0

I live in a community property state. Pre nips are common with those with assets and certain property deliberately separate from shared property. Biggest issue seems to be houses. Our alimony laws take in to consideration how long you were married,the payees status and if there was abuse,It’s limited to 5,000 a month or whatever is 20% of gross monthly income, there is a ten year maximum and that only applies if you were married 30 years or more. Up to 7 years is more common. Child support is a …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 01:37 AM
2

I’m mainly around older women and have seen this. The younger 2nd wavers are now the tenured professors. My (32F) grandmother was in her late 20s and early/mid 30s in the 60s.My parents were in their 20s in the 80s. We’ve been under the cultural revolution for several generations now. Us younger xers, millennials and the oldest zoomers are screwed.I will most likely never be in a romantic relationship and have come to terms with it soI can see things from the outside. I guess my brain damage has…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 12:39 AM
1

I’m in my early 30s. I knew early on children weren’t an option for me. I’m under legal guardianship myself,would have a hard time getting pregnant and keeping the prey plus I don’t want to pass on some of my genes anyway. I like playing with other people’s kids so I get entertaining duty. Due to my disabilities the expectations of my family have been altered anyway. I’m in the camp of people who would magic away all of my brain damage and other disabilities so it can be sad at times but I’ve co…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/22 05:34 PM
2

I feel that. I have PCOS and serborric dermatitis.They found that out right when they were looking at starting me on Accutane. Having to get cysts drained sucks.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/22 08:32 PM
2

That seems so early. There was a high level of mental illness,religiosity,trauma and late bloomers in my friend group though.Many graduated as virgins or had lost theirs recently. The main people that were having sex early had sexual trauma or Bipolar disorder. I had to drag many to the office for suicide plans (while ironically being very suicidal myself) Many of their parents demanded all As in AP classes so a social life was near impossible.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/22 07:55 PM
1

To be fair our basic programming was put into place when our life span was half of what it is now. Unfortunately our strategies do contradict each other now. In the past they could be used to bring out the best in both partners. Society has lied to both sexes. Consider that our decision making part of our brain is the last part to fully form in our mid twenties. This is also the highest time for women’s fertility. I have one part of my family where not being married or at least on the road to ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/22 09:17 PM
1

It’s biology.Menopause starts as early as our late 40s (though a surgical or other non natural type can happen earlier) our hormone less drop and taking HRT leads to a higher risk of female cancers.Many doctors won’t give it to women over 60 for long periods of time due to this. Obviously not all women will lose their libido but it is common.We are hormonally driven and during our reproductive years our body two moods are I’m getting ready to get pregnant and throwing a tantrum when we don’t. It…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/22 01:08 PM
3

I live in a community property state with defined rules and limits for things like support so 50-50 would be the default for everything considered martial property. He should follow the prenup but dragging things out sounds like a bad idea.
/r/MensRights12/01/22 07:12 PM
7

Lesbian and gay male porn are fairly common for straight women that watch or read porn. Straight romances and porn can be degrading and unappealing due the power dynamics at play. The difference in the porn styles is interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/22 07:01 PM
–

That is my bias because that’s what people I know did pre-pandemic unless they one of the traveling retirees in the family. We do tend toward isolation and mental health issues. I agree they don’t equate each other for many.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/22 04:14 AM
1

I’m unable to work much due to disabilities and didn’t get a job until my mid 20s due to being under the care of my family. Being stuck at home is isolating and lonely even for my introvert side (I’m an ambivert).Most of my retired relatives still do volunteer work or get a part time job because of the boredom if they can’t travel. It depends on the person.If they have a job that they enjoyed or at least aren’t unhappy with then less people would stop working.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/22 11:30 PM
2

There is this weird treat it like an exclusive thing without being exclusive going on.I’ve seen couples assume the other is on the same page and that’s when things get messy. The dating for marriage culture I’m more used to usually starts with a casual public meeting at a coffee shop or similar venue. If you want to get to know each other more then causal public dating starts sometimes involving double dates.Neither are tied to each other and can call it off at any time. Exclusivity is for those…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/22 04:36 AM
1

It seems to depend on an individual’s boundaries and limits. Like either attracts like or you have a more acquiescing partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/22 11:04 PM
1

I find the person who must repeatedly say they are something is the exact opposite. Both men and women have this issue where arrogance and aggressiveness is seen as strength and leadership even though most don’t like that.I can be bossy and, rightfully, people will push back on it. Unpleasant people are a drain to be around.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/22 10:59 PM
2

Most of the married men I know say they were first attracted to their wives appearance and manner but it was the intelligence that hooked them.If nothing else incompetence would makes things more difficult. There are different types of intelligences as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/22 02:52 AM
1

I’ve seen a few but I live in a community property state with a limit on alimony. One couple was married 6 years and she made double what he did. No alimony could be ordered. Another was married for 17 years.There was a child but she was an adult. She made slightly more.No alimony was ordered or negotiated. The last was 11ish years. He lost his job,she paid alimony (up to 20% of her monthly income) for almost years until he moved in with a girlfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/22 06:32 AM
1

I was seeing more woman (and some men) staying home because they couldn’t afford to have both partners work with kids before Covid. Granted most of the millennial and older zoomers I know are anti-daycare for pre school age kids at the very least.Honestly if you streamlined things,got rid of unnecessary/redundant jobs/classes (oh hi college administrators) and gave the trades the respect they deserve more people would have to find something else.I say this as someone who mainly relies on the kin…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/22 06:12 AM
2

I often joke that I volunteer to be a chaperone during male-female interactions.It’s getting less funny by the day. You’re damned if you do,damned if you don’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/22 11:16 AM
4

The male to female ratio and societal standards play does into it. In the past during/after wars when the male population was reduced and the female population was still dependent on male relatives/husbands for support the ball was more in the males handsThis is assuming we’re mainly talking about the merchant classes and up though. That and more babies are born after a collectively traumatic event because what coping skills. An interesting thing I was seeing pre-pandemic is more stay at home pa…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/22 08:35 AM
4

It's that whole "I'm not bossy I'm the boss" thing.Bossy and authoritative are not the same thing.I say this as a bossy girl who became a bossy woman.I'm working on it but my personality can be a bit much at times. I find men are more likely to call you out on being a jerk than woman are. Being assertive over aggressive was difficult to learn.My socialization teacher had a time with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/22 06:43 AM
1

It seems to depend on what you call porn star sex. For some it’s anal and jackhammer sex and others find it to be more hardcore than that.Being enthusiastic seems to be the main thing.Given how terrible modern porn can be it could go either way. Different strokes for different folks.We were taught to not have sex until we could talk openly about everything it entails with a partner in my family.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 05:02 AM
1

Women virgin shame both men and women more than men do. Not to mention some of the things that are put forth as slut shaming is mainly people having different wants in a partner or people pointing out unhealthy/unsafe behaviors.
/r/AntiFeminists03/01/22 12:02 AM
17

When I left feminism one of my so called friends said the same thing to me.Knowing I am a CSA survivor. Turns out she protected an actual rapist because “women don’t do that”.
/r/MensRights02/01/22 10:36 AM
–

Both sexes can be unrealistic though males being more visual seems to get them in more trouble. Just because you find someone attractive doesn’t mean you (should) want a relationship with them. Attraction is what it is but overruling your lizard brain to focus on a partner who you might be more compatible with long term is a good idea.I blame the internet for some of this. I mainly know 6s and below with both sexes dating comparative partners though.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/22 10:32 AM
1

I’ve never personally known an adult male that short. I’m technically somewhere between 65 and 67 inches (I can’t get my legs straight due to Cerebral Palsy) and most of the guys I know are under 70inches so maybe it’s just the people I know. Proportions do effect this. I am mostly legs so people think I’m taller than I am.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/22 06:38 AM
1

Most of the pick mes I’ve met have been unpleasant people. This seems to be an unfulfilling relationship and suspicion thing.The functional couples I know view acts of service and the like as something you do in a relationship because you want to. Coming from a dysfunctional family I get it but both sides seem to either have terrible taste in mate selection or they are the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/22 01:47 AM
2

Being on Reddit,much less this sub or any relationship based sub,does self select.Those that fall into the mainstream cultural view are either oblivious or have no need to argue/ be involved. The dividing line seems to to what extent to do these issues affect the sexes and what can you do about it. The information is what it is but how you use it is the important part.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/21 11:17 PM
2

You can love someone but not like them. I’ve had to separate myself from toxic people(drug/alcohol/mental illness Influence mainly) because my enabling wasn’t helping either of us. Going low/no contact is sometimes the best decision. I also have sociopathy in multiple family lines which complicates things. Due to my brain damage I have trouble now deciphering,regulating and feeling my emotions but I think I feel love to some degree.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/21 03:58 AM
1

In my family long term non-married partnerships that don’t end in marriage, especially if the couple is cohabiting without at least heading towards engagement,are frowned upon.Most of my family is either over 65 or under 30 so we let them have their druthers. Society is still couple focused.It’s on the You’re an Adult Now checklist. Marriage is seen as being more permanent than just cohabitation (individuals have this bias towards their relationships as well at least in my religious neck of the …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 11:43 PM
2

A man who has the ambition and drive to go for it is a good thing.Those that recognize this will reap the benefits. I have relatives who farm,hunt and ranch as well. One of my female cousins threw a hay bale at me…None of them are the prettiest people alive but they are hard working and can fix about anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 06:16 PM
2

That sounds about right. I’ve know younger kids that got more time with their parent once they were able to articulate why they wanted it in a way that doesn’t show them to be vegan cats. Something like “We always see the new Disney movie together”.
/r/MensRights30/12/21 02:53 AM
6

If we’re going by looks. Woman who look younger than they are do have an advantage. Barring lifestyle/ health factors the women in my family tend to look at least a decade younger. I’m 32 and most think I’m about 21.Money can be a factor,as people tend to marry around their own social economic status,but a broke women is a liability. Men tend to grow into their looks later than women.Money is a big factor. I’ve known couples where the guy makes great money in the trades and people who made fun o…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 02:47 AM
5

She sounds like a peach. Doing this will only drive your daughter away from her and add resentment.Continue being awesome dad and let her stew. Is there anyway your daughter can tell the authority over the custody decision that she wants to spend more time with you? I’m not sure how your system works but here the wishes of the child(ren) past a certain age can be taken into consideration. Assuming things are above board.
/r/MensRights29/12/21 05:26 AM
1

It depends on what the country’s laws are.Digital rape wasn’t considered rape federally in the US until 2013.Having to be penetrated/have a dick is a common requirement.
/r/AntiFeminists29/12/21 04:43 AM
1

It happened in the past but motivations have changed. I know many who date for marriage so the strategy is different from the mainstream but accessibility is also a reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/21 04:07 AM
0

There are issues with both mother and father being older. Depending on the individual’s health and family history an older parent might not be as bad.My parents’ generation wishes they had kids earlier. My parents had me around 30 and my sister around 40.They wanted more but it ended up being dangerous.My mom and I died on the table and my sister was born at 26 weeks. There is a history of multiple miscarriages and fertility issues in my mom’s family.You either have 4+ kids or you struggle to ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/21 04:04 AM
3

I say this as a early 30s virgin (assuming we aren’t counting CSA) who started researching sex to get over severe phobias and a brain damaged woman who don’t feel attraction or much libido. I’ve had more women say negative things about my status than men. Somehow I am people’s agony aunt so this is what I’ve learned: Knowledgeable partners seem to be the ideal. Even those that want virgin partners don’t want someone with no basic intellectual knowledge at the minimum.There are many charts, studi…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/21 11:28 PM
1

I’m a reader and reviewer.Oh the drama at times.Two words Book Boyfriends (and their boyfriends).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/21 06:17 PM
5

Not necessarily. From what I’ve observed and what men have told me they might have a type or features they’re into but an attractive (to them) woman is an attractive woman.Gay/bi men also have said something similar. Women are cruel to other women. That relational aggression gets us every time. Women are pickier and tend to have longer requirement lists.I am involved in the romance genre and there are some interesting conversations there. Look at old seeking ads in newspapers and they look simil…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/21 12:00 AM
2

Technically it’s a fat pad and the uterus changing position during month will push it out.Not all women have it and those that are at a healthy weight/fat percentage will mainly have a slight curve in the pelvic cradle.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/21 03:24 AM
3

What gets me is the people that discount the warnings ex industry people have been saying. There might be potential for self employment but that probably won’t go the way they want it to.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/21 03:18 AM
1

Around 10.I developed early and luckily I wasn’t allowed to be alone with adult strangers especially men so that helped with that.I did have men starring at my chest and putting their hand on my lower back. However: I had peers groping and putting their fingers places. One of my ex-babysitters (from when I a toddler) turned out to be a child molester.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/21 02:46 AM
0

It seems to depend on what you do as well. People are still getting fired for being/having been in porn,stripping,etc Especially if kids/teens are involved or it is easy to find your work.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/21 02:38 AM
2

I’d argue that attraction and love changes with time.I’ve seen people fall in lust with each other,get married and find out they didn’t know their partner at all. If you are completely turned off by a woman’s post baby body then marry a women who doesn’t want kids. The newborn months are called the fourth trimester for a reason.Her body is changing,reverting back, and hormones are settling. Even slender women tend to have a little pouch of fat in their lower abdomen. It’s there to protect our or…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/21 11:25 PM
1

It might just be a family/denomination thing as we do have some strange sayings.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/21 05:15 PM
1

I agree with the other responder.I do come from a conservative Southern Baptist family.Hospitality and homemaking skills were emphasized.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/21 08:23 PM
24

I’ve known some.Their matches are,and always have been,average or slightly below average as well.The best way to describe them is a hostess type.They are good with people and can hold court due to their charm.These women tend to have acts of service as their giving love language. They know how to work with what they’ve got and are talented in the feminine arts. Honesty if you are looking for some sort of LTR then things like personality are a big deal.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/21 05:31 PM
1

I can see a higher representation among those with certain backgrounds/conditions. The individuals I mentioned suffered CSA and/or have manic periods/dopamine seeking periods where they seek out dangerous activities. Individuals have their standards. There will always be those who fall outside the norm for various reasons.Both men and women seem to care about their partners past to some degree. Someone who seems to only have terrible exes either has terrible discernment or they are the issue.It …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/21 09:54 PM
5

To some extent.I grew up around people who dealt with trauma and mental illness based promiscuity so I associate promiscuity with that. If you are sleeping with everyone you see (within your specifications) then it might point to impulse control issues and poor decision making.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/21 08:40 PM
1

I’m more on towards team sex is only for someone you love myself but due to brain damage I can count on one hand how often I have a libido at all.What I do have is very painful.I have bought only 30% of people had sex until my mid 20s. I was severely mentally and grew up in a household where most movies PG-13 and over weren’t allowed. I’m not sure who these women who are attracting partners left and right are but I haven’t seen it myself.Granted most of us are a 5 on a good day and they struggle…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/21 06:33 AM
1

It is absolutely a human rights violation.The UK has multiple anti- discrimination and child endangerment laws.Minors are especially covered. There should be a higher authority that you can report to. Whether in your school system or externally.
/r/MensRights10/12/21 05:39 AM
2

I had bullies do this to me when I was young. When I ask about it/give my answer because they left the guy would loudly proclaim that he would never date me and that I was being creepy. My already suicidal autistic self didn’t react well. (Pre) Teenagers can be awful.I can’t imagine an adult doing this.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/21 04:22 PM
2

I’ve seen it have to do with literal physical compatibility.Usually his dick is too long or big to actually insert into her all the way. There are products for that and ways around it.Mind you I usually deal with religious,dating and waiting for marriage people. Most individuals are 25 or younger in these cases. From what I’ve seen basing a relationship,not a casual situation,primarily on physical attraction and early lust tends to go badly and doesn’t last without substance.But I also think thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/21 07:28 AM
5

How it’s said is a big thing. It’s could be a compatibility issue. No one is going to be 100% into the things you are. There are also physical differences to take into account. Some people’s bodies don’t take well to anal or the mental turn off is enough to make it uncomfortable.Also size,shape,placement,etc make a difference. I’ve known women who had their partner wear something to lessen the depth due to cervix placement
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 11:56 PM
0

I like observing human behavior and there is a female red pill side plus other women are more likely to listen to us than you guys. People like to come to me about relationships,despite barely doing friendships much less anything else,and I have no issue telling people the hard truths.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/21 01:14 AM
1

If you are looking for something like this there a plenty of gay dudes who would love a straight dudes attentions.If there is a local glory hole for example though you will occasionally get a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/21 05:13 PM
2

I’ve heard “I’d rather put my dick in a bear trap” in response to bragging so maybe there wasn’t a high enough hot to crazy ratio then.Just watch out for her teeth. I am known to wonder if I can shove food into hangry customers mouths so I can see it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/21 03:42 AM
8

The people who make it work are probably too busy with their relationship and lives to broadcast it everywhere. There is most likely people wired this way versus a (serial) monogamous style but I default to the if you keep having to say your something apropos of nothing...
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/21 12:17 AM
16

I’ve used it in reference myself as a cat person and a lady of questionable mental stability. The crabs in a bucket mentality some have is cruel and unnecessary. That and people tend to confuse facts,talents, statuses and physical/mental traits with an actual personality. I’ve more than once had to utter “sucking dick isn’t a personality trait” Honestly finding and keeping friends is hard enough much less dealing with pair bonding and mate selection.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/21 12:11 AM
1

Neither guy would work for me but it’s closer 2. I am more of a homebody but work in a people facing position and have been taught hostess skills growing up. He seems a bit intense but would have some cool stories. The second guy is closer but a lack of motivation is worrisome because my ADHD does not need the help to take over. His job is no issue,and as someone who doesn’t have high aspirations,I get it but there is a potential for resentment and conflict so I’d have to see how he would respon…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/21 10:44 PM
1

My dad’s parents were married almost 60 years before he died.They were still flirting with each other well into their 70s. My Mom’s parents decided they were better as friends.She and her siblings were raised by their parents and step mother.Apparently it was very civil and not living together made her parents relationship stronger. My parents were together 30 years and stayed together to long because they were to comfortable together.I am under adult guardianship so my parents have to communica…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/21 07:15 PM
1

Things have gotten better according to those that know me.It’s a process but a rewarding one.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/21 02:47 AM
1

The short story is I’m used to drama and it it is protective for me. The long story is I will run people off before they can possibly hurt me.I grew up in an environment where showing excess emotion,particularly those deemed negative,was frowned upon.When I was diagnosed ADHD was basically seen as a learning disability that doesn’t affect adults. Functional relationships scare me,which is one reason why I don’t date and having a kid isn’t an option so I’m on different timeline anyway,and the go …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/21 12:55 AM
1

Nobody like it and slowly but surly things are changing.Being properly medicated has helped and I have various exercises that I need to complete. Finding alternative neurotransmitter dispensers has been interesting.At least I know it’s an issue and I am working on it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/21 05:31 PM
4

Trauma and life experiences set up expectations and impact our lives.It is an issue but one it is up to an individual to work on. Some of the best relationships and potential partners involve them owning their shit,forgiving themselves and finding a healthier mind set and behavioral pattern. There are some things our lizard brains will come up with that will cause issues but having a conversation like an adult bypass most of that.There will always be people who won’t pair bond due to lack of int…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/21 07:56 PM
2

I have the type of personality,amplified by my ADHD,that has to have something going on all the time.I’m not interested in a thing beyond friendship with others so I’m not sure how this would affect that but it is probably similar. If it isn’t go go go or drama filled then I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m working on this and finding better ways to get my dopamine hit but after being in survival mode for so long it has become an addiction.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/21 07:42 PM
3

24 is still young.You'll limit your options but they should be a better match.I had a fear of nudity,sex and related things and reading up on the topics has helped.Though when my virgin self has had to explain things to others... Maybe it's because I hung out with the studious students but most of them were to busy to even deal with a casual relationship.The promiscuous ones usually had a history of CSA and/or mental health issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/21 08:10 AM
1

I’m unable to for medical reasons and I find that it a good way to weed out people. Most people are fine with it and those that pressure me aren’t worth it. It also depends on when and where the date is. A date around 1pm is a different animal than 8pm.I find bartenders come up with cool non alcoholic drink.I do love a virgin strawberry daiquiri.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/21 04:30 PM
1

Oh I’ve heard things myself.I’ve been told “I’m old not dead” which fair enough. If that companionship comes with some extras good for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/21 01:15 PM
1

I’ve known people who at least leaned toward them. Those that take accountability ,work on their issues and then take the advice are usually pretty successful. Other are just unpleasant people to be around and it makes things worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/21 04:03 AM
1

I’ve seen more stay at home parents the last 5 years. They figured out that between childcare, gas, things for work etc they were breaking even or less. There is a demographic that can’t afford to have both parents work while they have younger children. Some work part time while their kids are in school. My family members that have done this are able to live below their means but they are homeschooling and/or raising their kids more like they were in the 90s.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/21 03:51 AM
3

It seems to depend on the person. I find divorced and/or single parents date each other.People who don’t want/can’t have children have other priorities.There are also the exceptions to the general rules. Culturally dating for marriage and early marriage is common in my family so the rules are different.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/21 03:38 AM
8

At this point the 70+ crowd is still made up of widows/ and widowers. Barring other factors the women in my family live well into their 90s (A paternal great,great grandmother died in the mid 1990s and was a young teen when Queen Victoria died) and some have married more for companionship.This age group has different priorities but I’m curious to see what happens when Gen x and Millineals get that age.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/21 03:32 AM
2

The families I’ve known that pull it off usually were teachers or otherwise worked while the kids were in school. I have family that homeschools and my cousins do work part time with preschoolers.School doesn’t take near as long with only a few kids and they utilize co-ops,online options and switch off watching the younger ones with other members.
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/21 02:22 AM
1

What can I say we like our rules.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/21 03:38 AM
0

Whining seems to be popular here in general. Like I said if used wisely there are gems in the Red Pill philosophy.There are also some in the opposite sides’ arguments.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/21 05:57 AM
1

It is relevant to this sub to look at gender dynamics through dating. I am a single woman myself and people like talking to me about their love lives.I do lean more to the red pill side given the current relationship landscape but both sides have their issues.I’m also Autistic so there’s that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/21 05:35 AM
1

The Pareto Principle is true for many things not just relationships. We know that things like hormonal changes and birth control affect women’s mate selection. People are allowed to have their preferences and to say no to anyone.Unfortunately people’s choices and bad luck might reduce their dating pool. I’m used to more marriage minded people so even casual dating is focused towards that. Going over to a dates house without others present is a big no-no. Group and double dating is more common un…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/21 12:02 AM
3

Red pill men tend to be more aware of societal gender dynamics then other men. They either use this knowledge to better themselves and their prospects with mate selection or they hit a doom spiral and come off as bitter and unpleasant. I believes things like hypergamy are real and in the past ,when there was more give and take, it could be used to better the woman’s station and put SM pressure on the men to put their best self forward. I have family members that have been married for 40+ years.T…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/21 09:45 PM
3

My autistic self prefers honesty but depending on the other person a sandwiched critique,softened blow or honest but gentle might work better.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/21 11:02 PM
1

From the women I’ve known: B with some A. The latter group further splits into either if he’s skilled and great to look at I don’t care or something internal they are dealing with. It I had a sex drive then probably B given my personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/21 10:56 PM
2

I meant re-enforcing.I have no desire to pair bond which means I become everyone’s agony aunt. Once you leave formal schooling there is less incentive to be around other recreationally.Proximity is a major component of all relationships. You can’t/it would be unwise to date co-workers,there aren’t many secular group activities where single adults hang out unless it is a hobby which is also risky. It is the lack of community and social structures in general.Even if you can find someone your eithe…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/21 06:01 PM
5

From a female perspective I find,on average,males tend to try to do/fix/ handle the situation by rushing in while females tend to be more verbal,group oriented and cautious. Most people tend to have a mixture of both to varying degrees. It’s the relational aggression vs physical aggression idea. Considering the different labors/chores both have done and the venerability women have during pregnancy and after the social difference makes sense.This more pertaining to the merchant/middle class and b…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/21 05:38 AM
1

I,myself am a recovering caffeine,food and untraditional pill addict and various mental illnesses/conditions include one that causes psychosis. I meant it as a statement of fact.Porn,made by consenting adults, is not an issue. It might cause a problem for certain individuals though. I’ve been through trauma work and that does shape my respective.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/21 11:22 PM
1

Pretty much. There are the brothels in Nevada but that’s it for legal prostitution.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/21 11:06 PM
1

Gray area but the type you seem to want is basically a mutually beneficial relationship/friendship you provide her with material goods,sex,company,knowledge etc and she provides sex,company,her own talents,etc.Escorts come from the idea of escorting someone to a function and there are those that do platonic arrangements. A cynic would say that is basically marriage but with more reliable intimacy and less hoops. If you can find a civilian woman who is looking for the same things that you connect…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/21 11:02 PM
1

Depending on the the reward you’re talking about you can go the sugar baby/ long term escort route.I depends on how long you are looking for really. If you’re looking for more of a mutual arrangement/marriage of convenience/political marriage type thing then you will have a harder time. Generally cultures that have arranged marriages marry within that culture but there are those of us who view the whole thing as a financial arrangement anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/21 08:10 PM
7

This is where communication comes in.I have known people who have decided to wait for various reasons.They tell their potential partner that sexisn’t a priority for them or they are waiting for marriage/ltr. I have no desire for an open relationship but sex isn’t possible for me so I stay single and try to find people to cuddle with.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/21 07:58 PM
5

I’m a female who prefers male mental health practitioners myself. Most of my doctors are/have been male including my pediatrician. I remember it being more common to see male teachers/aides as a 90s kid. Not many up to 4th grade.But multiple a year after that.
/r/MensRights04/11/21 05:26 PM
2

Mystery Science Theater 3000. I especially like watching old school ones and making fun of the weird plots.They do nothing for me personally but I like making snarky comments about media.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/21 03:33 AM
1

They haven’t said anything otherwise so I’d assume so. I have conditions that make it nearly impossible so I can’t say from experience. I suppose there’s always a turkey baster…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/21 03:11 AM
2

There are people who react to things like porn or video games in unhealthy manner.Talking to people I know it seems to be a dopamine hit and maladaptive coping mechanism.I,myself,had to stop reading fantasy novels due to loss of reality. I’m in the “Porns fine in healthy amounts and with the right mindset”. I don’t get the appeal but even among females I seem to not be the norm. MST3King porn is hilarious though.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/21 01:20 AM
2

PIED is mainly caused by repeated tight grips over a long period of time.I know women who have issues with lack of feeling due to high vibration toys.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/21 01:11 AM
5

I developed early and looked older than my age until about 16.Now most people think I’m a decade or more younger at 32. I have face blindness and have a hard time with people’s ages myself. I can’t imagine being in an area where visibility is low. I knew a guy who was flirting with a girl at a 21+ venue where there was speed dating.She reciprocated.He found out a couple of days later she was underage.Her parents were mad at HIM not HER. It seems to be a cop out to say “Yeah it’s an adults only v…
/r/MensRights02/11/21 04:51 PM
2

I started showing signs puberty at 6 .When I was 8 I had classmates groping me.I reached my adult height by 12 and looking at pictures I actually wasn’t that big given my body shape and high lean body mass. I’m not curvy but was around Dcup in elementary school (I wasn’t allowed to wear anything over a C cup so that’s guess) At 32 most people think I’m around 20.I get hit on by 16 year olds. I’m like a 4 so I don’t get much attention anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/21 03:12 AM
4

Cosigned as another woman. I work in fast food and when we leave them up after cleaning at night and put them down after bathroom checks in the morning. The GM or MOD has to sign off on it. Talk about an overreaction.We don’t have that many toilets here and I’ve guarded the door for both men and women so the could use the other bathroom when theirs was full.
/r/MensRights28/10/21 04:23 PM
2

You could see pre ovulation signs and not have the hormones to sustain it.Do you know if your temp changes? You’re probably are ovulating normally though.Maybe stress or something else knocked it off track.Stress puts our bodies in fight,flight or freeze mode and our reproduction is the first thing the body shuts down. Talk to your doctor and get your hormones looked at.If things are unusual they can do an (transactional)ultrasound.
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/21 07:51 PM
2

A change in cervical mucus (It becomes a stretchy egg white texture),a sharp rise in nasal body temp right after ovulation and a change in cervical position and openness. Look up the fertility awareness method. Anovutory cycles can happen due things like stress,medication and hormonal imbalance.It is what you can get while taking birth control.I usually bled but not always.
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/21 05:00 PM
1

To add insult to injury most of my cycles were aovlutory.I do have PCOS though.
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/21 12:50 PM
2

It does sound like a progesterone issue.I had low levels of it and my cycles were heavy,painful and erratic.
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/21 12:40 PM
1

Oh I see the issue.I’m using relationships as a general term not just for romantic ones. I happy for you and your wife.May you have many years together.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/21 06:46 PM
1

I do think it is more common with those living together because of the proximity. The #1 sign of the end of a relationship is apathy, which can be coping mechanism, I've been through it with friends and it sucks. My own bias comes from seeing many relationships implode due to being unable to manage the stress and communicate properly.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/21 09:20 AM
1

It’s probably more easily seen in marriage or any other cohabiting dynamic where those involved are on equal footing. Antidotally I’ve seen relationships end due to the stress of emergency situations,tragedies and other under the pressure situations. There is underlying communication issues that don’t pop up as often in day to day situations. I figure the acute incident in itself doesn’t cause the break down but it does put the pressure on and exposes weakness in the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/21 08:19 AM
1

It seems more of an unwillingness to take responsibility for their own part and work through their issues. Granted the cultish environment isn’t a great place for this.
/r/AntiFeminists24/09/21 05:14 AM
2

The funny things is much of their advice is similar to to traditional advice. There are some gems but like many in that sphere they have been jaded by bad experiences.
/r/AntiFeminists23/09/21 06:34 PM
2

Having to deal with trauma and letting go of maladaptive coping skills sucks. I was in related groups at one point it and was an unhealthy,cultish environment. When the normies are taking their talking points…
/r/AntiFeminists23/09/21 07:23 AM
26

Body Positivity started for people like burn survivors,amputees and the disabled. It was for,in their lingo,bodies marginalized due to birth or accident.The is also the idea of helping people do what they can with their limitations. Fat people could be included but weren’t the focus.
/r/AntiFeminists22/09/21 11:08 PM
2

To put my biases out there I am a disabled early 30s female with past trauma who has never been interested in a sexual/romantic relationship and who's neurological issues like to read physical sensations as being pain. It depends on if you are talking about an emotional,social or physical late bloomer. I knew plenty of people who were more focused on school work/working/etc then dating during high school and college.Most just didn't have the time due to other commitments. It also depends on your…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/21 05:12 AM
1

Human reproductive strategy is being able to get pregnant up to a week a month,having a 40 week gestation, bearing underdeveloped (compared to most mammals ) offspring, and compensating for the fact that until recently there was a high infant mortality rate in the west. Women have always worked during pregnancy to some extent but the group's survival depended on having healthy offspring. Certain traits have been breed to ensure survival at both a psychological and physiological level. There have…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/20 06:28 AM
1

Some are,though being well groom is attractive on anyone,culture and groups play into hat. Also hormonal birth control will effect who a woman is attracted to. It isn't uncommon for a woman to come off of it and not be attracted to her partner anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/20 05:41 AM
1

Are we assuming current average life spans just with extended fertility windows? We would be looking at a fertility window comparative to historical ones. The average age of marriage and first child might go up some if that is the case. If our lifespans are extended then the fertility window will be more like modern ones or even shorter. You'll either see people pushing careers off until later and starting a family earlier.If you are only able to have kids about 40 of say 120 years then that wil…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/20 08:07 PM
2

I have psychotic depression,GAD,ADHD and OCD of the intrusive thought variety and DPDR. Knowing triggers and habits is the first line of defense.I know when I start seeing the man in the black trench coat and/or things coming out of the walls that my psychosis is acting up. I get both anxiety based paranoia and psychosis based paranoia which makes life interesting. Grounding techniques are godsend for me. It is more difficult for us with mental illnesses.You aren't a monster.Nothing has changed …
/r/RedPillWomen22/05/20 04:09 PM
3

OP said nothing about approaching random strangers.I assume they are talking about co- workers,acquaintances and people involved in the same interests and hobbies. I have known women who consider any interaction with a man who they have no interest in (romantically or otherwise) sexual harassment. In my socialization classes we were taught that asking isn't the issue it's nagging and being overbearing that is the problem.If someone says no then than take it at face value. Of course people that e…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/20 03:44 PM
1

It's a mixture of things like changes in laws (inheritance,tax,custody,marriage,financial,etc),acess to hormonal birth control(most old school methods were terrible),increase in age of of marriage and life expectancy (most of my 65+ year old female relatives were married in their teens and those that married in their 20s usually had it postponed due to war),developments in technology,feminism (which has some strange bed fellows),a decress in religiosity,a change in cultural attitudes (try tellin…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/20 03:12 AM
11

I'm in an interesting position as a 30 year old virgin (I do not count my sexual assaults if only because the law didn't consider them as such) with no experience.Apparently this means I am everybody's agony aunt so I have heard many different stories. I'm more used to the dating with an eye toward marriage/LTR or carefully chosen exclusive dating types so I'll start there. Both men and women of this type see a high n count as a red flag. Generally they are under 35,date intentionally ,tend to b…
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/20 07:59 PM
1

Have you talked to your boyfriend about these feelings? Is this a relationship that you see moving towards marriage or at least a long term commitment?Something like couple's counseling or a workbook focusing on forgiveness,letting go of trauma and communication maybe helpful. I'll tell you something that I was told. You can't change your past but you can move forward.You need to forgive yourself,accept what you did and how it affected you,and move on.We are our own worst critics and beating you…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/19 01:21 AM
2

It's the same thing as the recent Millineal Monopoly and Socialist Monopoly(which was out for only a couple of months and now goes for $90+ online). I read it as partly tongue in cheek and partly "eh there is probably a audience for that". They already have licensed versions and I like the ridiculous versions as well.I just take as a ridiculous and amazing product that doesn't take itself seriously.
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/19 09:25 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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