heckruler Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	Lying about mental health		heckruler	/r/Divorce_Men	05/07/19 02:34 AM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	Child Custody after Divorce Sadly, it depends on the state. In Colorado it is your legal right to demand 50/50. Just as much as she has the right to 50/50. There is legally no distinction between the sexes. She cannot force you to accept anything less than 50/50. To get primary/custodial-parent/more than 50%, you'd have to show a judge how it's best for the kids to be with you rather than her. Things are quite haywire if you're arguing that you're a better parent. Unless there's big problems, demand 50/50 (and fight tooth …	/r/Divorce_Men	18/02/20 08:42 AM
3	Equal parenting time Yep. Right here. She wanted me to be a weekend dad. I wanted an even split. I compromised for the sake of an amicable divorce. So there's 1 day difference every 2 weeks, with equal time in a few years. Worst decision of my life. It propagates into EVERYTHING else. School choices, taxes, daycare, and don't get me started on child support. It makes her "custodial parent" by default. Which if anyone ever tells you it doesn't matter who it is, it just has to be someone, that's a bold-faced lie. As s…	/r/Divorce_Men	22/01/20 12:35 AM
2	Child support In Colorado there's (supposed to be) no gender preference. So there's no reason you couldn't keep the kids while she gets them on the weekend. She would pay you child support. Don't sell yourself short. Let's strive for some equal treatment.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/01/20 06:29 AM
1	Wife has been preparing for 2 months, help a brother get his shit together I'm not your lawyer. You're getting a lawyer, that's probably for the best. I started my company before we married. What can I expect to give up if push comes to shove? Half ownership of the company or an equivalent amount of cash. If you buy her out, unless her continued employment is part of the separation agreement, then you don't have to give her a job. If she literally owns half the company, that gets messy. I really don’t want her to stay in the house. I realize a judge or mediator will sa…	/r/Divorce_Men	20/01/20 06:08 AM
4	Is it really just a harsh life lesson? Ok, first off, get out of my head. And yeah. I think it's a harsh life lesson. Builds character. Nobody said it's good character, but it's character none the less. Lessons don't have to hurt, but it helps drive the point home. Some people out there are assholes. Down to their core. Just one big colon all the way up and down, and completely full of shit. Some people are interesting, others are just intestine people. That might be scary. That might darken your perception of the world. Maybe that's…	/r/Divorce_Men	18/01/20 04:55 AM
1	I don't know how to explain this, so I feel like you guys will understand. I completely understand the "you can't control your wife" part. But that's not entirely true. If she's violent, he can call the cops for domestic abuse. If she's ever violent against the kid, that's grounds for taking the kid away from her. We can't control others. Trying to make them behave or think a certain way or be someone they're not is... impossible. But there's legal recourse for those who suffer domestic abuse. Don't give up hope. He has options. And from what he's said, I'd say the sam…	/r/Divorce_Men	26/11/19 04:20 AM
2	I don't know how to explain this, so I feel like you guys will understand. Well the violence is absolutely unacceptable. You've got to talk to someone about that before the cops are talking to you. Therapy for you and the spouse. Anger management, whatever. There's just no part of that which is going to be ok. You've put up with this for 5 years? ...You've put up with this for 2 years after realizing how bad it was? Adding a kid into the mix makes it all very messy. Without the kid I would have told you to get the hell out of such a toxic relationship. Now that another…	/r/Divorce_Men	26/11/19 03:58 AM
2	Leaving without an affair - weak for not being able to resolve these problems? she wants to basically nullify the division of assets of the prenup for her to quit her job. WHOAHOHO! If you are thinking about divorce and have gone to counselling and done all that, then the idea of divorce is most CERTAINLY in her head as well. This isn't a plan to go fix the marriage and become more stable. This is her plan to anull a pre-nup and establish herself as having zero income so that her post-divorce life is bankrolled by you. I am not your lawyer, but this looks like a pretty obv…	/r/Divorce_Men	07/10/19 07:15 PM
1	Leaving without an affair - weak for not being able to resolve these problems? Look up to see if you're in a "no fault divorce" state. If you are, then there's no need for her, or you, to have done anything. Neither party needs to be at fault for you to get a divorce. (If you are NOT in a no-fault state, you REALLY don't want to be the one "at fault", and you have a tougher problem.) The lack of sex sucks. It sucked even when her libedo dropped off. I can't imagine no sex at all. Fighting "just in the moment" isn't a good thing. Neither is shutting down. Don't pretend that…	/r/Divorce_Men	07/10/19 04:07 AM
3	Leaving without an affair - weak for not being able to resolve these problems? Step away some and go on to live your life for you and the kids. (Act Happy!) Step up your game. Getting away from her and having fun with the kids will make you actually BE happy. It won't have to be an act. If she's really as bad as she seems, having activities without her will be paradise by comparison. There will be no need for an act.	/r/Divorce_Men	07/10/19 03:20 AM
8	Scared of my wife That sounds like a manipulative and abusive relationship. Keep a log of everything. Dates, quotes, whatever you remember. Do not install hidden audio recording devices, that'll get you in trouble. Look up your states wiretapping laws. If you're in a "one party state, you may (and should, at this point) record every conversation you are privy to. If you are in a "two party" state, you need to tell her she's being recorded. And get that statement itself on record. Video is more lenient, but, you k…	/r/Divorce_Men	17/09/19 06:24 PM
12	Her list designed to clean out the house! I'm not sure you're following what the judge said: Judge stated what she could have in judgment - she asked for some items and judge agreed She gets those. No doubt. There is an enumerated list of these things yes? Those are hers. Don't mess with that. and judge added whatever else we mutually agree on as to what she takes. If you don't agree that she should take something.... she doesn't take it. That's it. If she then DOES take it, that is theft. But her simply ASKING for the moon isn't... all…	/r/Divorce_Men	11/09/19 03:56 AM
2	My wife told me she’d rather be married and unhappy than divorced and embarrassed. She stands firmly saying that pulling out is enough but she’s also impartial to having kids If you're both fertile, she's going to be pregnant before a year goes by. This is a recipe for disaster. Look into getting snipped. Get a vasectomy. No worry about having kids. You can both be more intimate. Her main complaint goes away (until it's replaced by something else). ...If she really doesn't want a divorce, and you'd rather a divorce than living with an argumentative shrew, it makes it a pretty …	/r/Divorce_Men	09/09/19 04:15 AM
6	How was your first year after getting divorced? 13 years together. 9 married. It's rough at first. (and also really awesome in some ways). It gets better. It changes you. Keep an eye on the positive. Freedom. Control. Agency. Your bank account is your own. You can put whatever you want on your walls and you don't need approval for your own house. It's as clean as you want it. You can travel and vacation where you want. Your recreation is once again YOUR recreation instead of sm\iling and nodding and keeping the peace. Realize that she's repla…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/08/19 08:12 PM
2	Child support advice. So... It's not 50/50. It's more like 5/12th. If she taking care of the kid more than you, that gets expensive, and you likely owe her some cash. Even with healthcare and a phone. Do the math. There's a worksheet available through most states. Mine gives credit for healthcare and such. If there's an imbalace, make it right. I honestly don't know what would happen if it goes to court. And do what you can to come to an agreement about how to handle taxes and future work travel.	/r/Divorce_Men	31/07/19 08:33 AM
1	How would you handle this? No that's most certainly not the point. The point is whether you get the dog or if the kids can bring over the dog. One is her being rude (which is mostly legal), the other is your right to an equitable split. Try "Well if you don't want to make it a point of contention, then stop fighting over it". She's either contending or not. Sure sure, you feel like she's being a passive aggressive douche-bag for talking out both sides of her head, which she is, but no one will care about that part. The pe…	/r/Divorce_Men	20/07/19 10:36 PM
1	How would you handle this? Of course you should try and sort it out. If you already have a lawyer, sure, mention it. One more thing on the pile. I wouldn't pull in a lawyer over dog visits, but I guess it's how much you love the dog and how much money you have to burn. Remember that the dog is property, if you're not fighting over other stuff, you could "trade it" for the dog. It's good she doesn't want to make it a point of contention, and you don't want to make other property a point of contention. That sounds like a re…	/r/Divorce_Men	20/07/19 09:00 PM
1	Post Divorce Rant...I guess contempt means nothing Mediation over THIS issue? Then: "Mediation has failed, we're going to court". One message, done. Mediators are pretty cheap. 3x8=24 hours x Mediators rate... not so much. If you DO go to mediation, you can leave any time and that means mediation has failed. But, I've moved on with my life Good. That's a good thing. Don't let go of that. But if you expect trouble from her in the future, push it. ...I guess contempt means nothing So I guess contempt doesn't mean what I thought it did. I really th…	/r/Divorce_Men	18/07/19 01:03 AM
1	Post Divorce Rant...I guess contempt means nothing A common thing in divorce paperwork is a part on dispute resolution. First, they'd prefer you be civil and talk it out. Then you both agree to go to mediation. If mediation fails, you can go to court. Read your paperwork. Did you bypass the mediation? That doesn't look good on you. You should go to mediation. You really should. Maybe she'll promise never to do it again. Maybe she'll have a good excuse. Maybe that'll be enough. Maybe maybe maybe. Who knows? But you should go to mediation, it's …	/r/Divorce_Men	17/07/19 04:26 AM
1	Lying about mental health Thanks. That's encouraging. I've seen how very little it takes to sway a judge though. If she fights me over the kid in any way, this is laying ground work. Like you said, if she tries to move away and get 100%.	/r/Divorce_Men	05/07/19 06:16 PM
3	Lady refuses to sign ticket, gets arrested. Becomes hysterical and basically loses her mind. Delusional. Lies about not having a speeding ticket in 25 years in a pathetic attempt to refute that this is her 3rd offence. "I'm the one who life has been screwed by police officers". After the cop JUST downgraded her ticket. "You're under arrest". "I'm not under arrest". Pft. "You go on with your merry life, and I'll be tortured by police. Forever". "He was real nice to my husband and real asshole to me". It's not an admission of guilt. "He didn't explain that either". All that screaming. ...…	/r/PussyPassDenied	29/03/17 09:01 PM