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hedwighedgehog99 Archive

View 1 posts and 24 comments by hedwighedgehog99 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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28

My ex-husband was so uninterested in normal vanilla sex, even in his late teens and 20s. I loved him so much and giggled he was just a better, purer person than me??? (Thanks, religion!) Then when I found his porn stash, I was furious. So much time I wasted being sexually frustrated, wondering what was wrong with me, trying to stay glamorous and fit for a guy who does nothing for me, reading Cosmo and trying their stupid suggestions for "keeping him interested". What a waste of mental energy and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/22 07:39 PM
25

I had a fabulous music teacher, very talented, took lessons for years. His much younger beautiful and talented wife got early onset dementia which is progressing fast.The last lesson I had with him was him spending 80% of my very expensive class time explaining how she wasn't the perfect wife all through the marriage and he needed to move on. Pre FDS I would have sympathized more, but in my experience listening to men complain about their current marriage (regardless of the reality) never led an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 02:36 PM
70

After the third time I endangered my own and my baby daughter's lives driving out to pick up my baby sister in the boondocks from her abusive bf, I told her that next time, she should just call the police. She went to a women's shelter and told him where it was, endangering all the other women there. Tee hee, he just loves her soooo much, she said. Later he was jailed as a pedophile. Iove my baby sister, but she goes out of her way to make her life unsafe. These are the types of men that these p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 06:33 PM
12

My brother is the guy on the left, then add right wing bs "conservatism" with constant p*rn addiction. He smells so bad it makes me physically ill. Our pickme sister bragged about taking care of all his needs (wtf?). I used to try so hard with him, just to be kind and to have a normal human interaction with a family member. Now I realize it's not my responsibility to take care of the men in my family who take care of nobody else, not even themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 10:27 PM
18

My older sister would practically knock me over, racing to serve food to our brother, or my husband. It was sickening. They were both able bodied. It was like some weird competition to show that she was the most servile woman there. My brother, who is a pornfried incel, ate that attention up. Then she would coo to my husband about how she could cook him the best pot roast, or how she wanted to make him a REAL full breakfast (So creepy! Plus he hates eating in the morning). My husband's an amazin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 02:59 AM
67

I've always been inspired to avoid feeling "imposter syndrome" , by the antics of the cocksure mediocre men around me. They appeared to feel absolutely entitled to every raise and promotion to come down the pike. They had no primary responsibility for raising their own kids, or caregiving for aging parents.Their lazy attitudes and mediocre performance at work (despite little familial responsibility outside work) kept me from doubting myself or quitting grad school and positions all the way up. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 02:27 AM
6

I have a recurring nightmare that I'm still married to my ex-husband, who died of an opioid drug overdose 11 years ago. Then I roll over and look at my handsome, kind and generous current husband, and I thank GOD my ex-husband left me and his disabled child to pursue "greener pastures". I never had the guts to leave him because he threatened to take our child. The difference in before and after is literally like waking up from a bad dream that lasted 20 years. The few bf I had in between these 2…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 06:07 PM
52

I had a highly educated, brilliant and funny male friend at work. His lovely wife was an m.d., and was very kind and caring. He started "joking" about how his next wife would be Asian. It became his obsession. Sure enough, he divorced her, moved to China, and got remarried. They give themselves away with their "jokes". Their marriage seemed so solid. She is lucky to be well shot of him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/22 11:06 PM
6

I think fds principles can help all women, regardless of background and experiences. Now I am older, wiser, and finally look my age, but applying fds principles have flipped my relationships, including marriage, dynamics in a positive way, I feel like a valued individual again instead of a somehow lesser partner, or a pack animal that has to earn love and respect by servitude. I've warned and then walked away from every disrespectful relationship, regardless of blood relation or years of "friend…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 07:10 PM
22

50s here. Because of shedding the societal bs put on women, every decade has been a revelation. My generation was brought up to work so damn hard to get boys' attention, to always wear makeup and be slender with gorgeous hair, suppress our gifts to avoid "turning them off", that if we didn't have hot sex, all the time, the way they wanted it, faked orgasms etc. that of course they would cheat, not to mention free free free labor for the church, the community, deadbeat male family and friends, do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 11:17 AM
33

The irony is that many Christian churches would be almost empty if it weren't for women. Not to mention the unpaid labor polishing the pews and decorating the altars. I refuse to enter any church where my daughters or I are considered less. Imagine a world where we boycott religious gender apartheid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 02:34 AM
2

I don't know where you live, but if there are respite services, sign up to give yourself a break and some time to reflect. My life as a special needs mom was easier after the divorce, because I was able to get external reliable support services, and a cleaning service.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 02:09 AM
1

Being an HVW should be independent of who we marry or if we have kids, but those choices are going to make things a lot easier or harder in your life. I think a lot of older women I knew growing up were hvw in their lives, in spite of these terrible men they were married to, and the demands of motherhood coupled with marriage to lvm. Now that we know more about gendered abuse and how to read into and avoid relationships with men like this, I'm very hopeful that the next generation of women will …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 06:04 PM
6

There is still so much I have to unlearn, and even though my husband is a good man, my default is to always give more than I get. FDS has helped me align myself with goals that benefit me, without guilt from my upbringing. There is still so much bs still to sort through with boundaries with old female and male friends, family, exbf who want to stay "friends"... FDS calls it all out very accurately. I've read dozens of books on relationships, but the books recommended here on FDS are the only one…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 02:20 AM
119

Not directly empowering, but definitely enlightening. So much bad gendered behavior is normalized that it can be very eye opening to see one's own experiences described as abuse in the context of someone else's story. I can't draw good boundaries in my own relationships unless my eyes are opened to thinking in new ways about what is/should be acceptable. I found it so natural to automatically sacrifice so much to be a good person. FDS horror stories have really helped me see the bigger patterns …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 05:15 PM
13

Every decade I know myself better, and take less bs from others. The last ten years have been pruning away severely toxic relationships and curating my awesome friends. I wish my 30s could have had the peace of mind I have now. FDS and books recommended on this site has helped me reframe a lot of nonsense from the past.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 02:01 AM
8

This is so accurate it's scary
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 10:41 AM
9

If you want a family, you need to have that financial backup and it has to be solid. If your kids have any special needs, this is critical. Be careful- If a man has no plans for retirement, then YOU are his plan: caretaker, medical costs and insurance, and finances. You'd better love your job because you will be doing it long after he "retires" from his. Both partners ideally should be able to stand on their own feet financially, including planning for retirement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 04:00 PM
319

On an international overnight flight my husband took the window seat. I was in the middle seat and the man next to me was continuously spreading his legs so that they were touching mine. It got more pronounced as time went on, and I made a few VERY obvious repositions indicating my discomfort. When he got up to use the restroom, I asked my husband to switch seats with me. My husband argued that the man's wife was across the aisle, so it didn't mean anything, so I was probably imagining it (???!!…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 12:22 AM
32

When I got a decent job offer with benefits in the same state retirement system, I refused to move back to our home city (3h drive away) after grad school. All my supports (daycare, multiple therapists for disabled child, friends) were in the grad school city. My husband's job had a better salary than mine, but no health insurance to cover our disabled child's preexisting condition. He and his family were furious with me. But the cost of one hospitalization (and we had >20) would have bankrupted…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 12:09 PM
39

I had a female friend (who had been complaining that I should be available all hours of the day and night for her phone calls), hand me a seven page handwritten manifesto. I handed it back and said I wouldn't read it. At the time, I worked full time and was raising my young severely disabled child with a sleep disorder, and my husband worked out of town. Emergencies are one thing, but chronic therapy on call? I'm not qualified, honestly. I told her she needed more friendship than I could provide…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 11:33 PM
9

And yet having ONE experience when ONE gay man "aggressively" pursues them, with the same degree of aggression women encounter every day, is used as an excuse for why so many men become homophobic. A guy being pursued by a guy who is not significantly bigger, taller, stronger than them. One event, dealing with unwanted attention/harrassment. And they call that encounter as shoving the guy agenda down their throats. Amateurs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 09:49 AM
9

This was my first marriage. Nothing nice I owned was respected. Nvxh and his buddies goofing around and yukking it all up while I worked my a*s off, cooking, cleaning, and struggling through grad school. I didn't leave then because I thought he needed me. I thought it was selfish to choose for my own benefit. Lol in the end he left me and our awesome disabled child. And my (our) life is infinitely better now, clean pretty house, nice friends, happy creative home.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 01:34 PM
4

I don't know why it took so long to make a show like this showing, what it's like from the woman's point of view, but I'm glad it's finally landed. It punctures the other sitcoms' bubbles and let's some fresh air into the trope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 11:50 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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